“Let it go, let it go,
Turn away and slam the door;
I don't care what they're going to say,
Let the storm rage on.
The cold never bothered me anyway.”
Turn away and slam the door;
I don't care what they're going to say,
Let the storm rage on.
The cold never bothered me anyway.”
“Let it Go,” Frozen – Idina Menzel
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 8, Week 8
Match located on Ice Climber Mountain.
They are as follows:
TEAM: Marvel Woman, Young Marvel Man, Apocalypse Twins: Uriel and
Eimen, Gothmog, Glaurung, Captain Rex in a snow speeder, Commander Cody in a
snow speeder and Mike “Goof Juice” Geney in a snow speeder, Dark Side Adept 13,
Little Goombas 17-25.
Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies: The Shadow, Vampire Lestat,
Asgardian Matt Oblak, Wu-Tang Clan: Rakwon, Gza, Rza, Inspectah Deck, Method
Man, U-God, Cappadonna, Ghost Face Killah, Masta Killa and Ol Dirty Bastard,
A.L.F. with heat axe, BL He-Man, Jareth the Goblin King, Blair Witch, Quick
Draw McGraw, Robotic Moe, Larry and Curly, Jedi Masters 18A-27A.
Let the battle begin. . .
The Wu-Tang Clan shimmies up the
icy mountain.
Rakwon: This be some dope snow
and sh$t!
Masta Killa: Air be buzzin’ in my head.
Cappadonna: That’s cuz there
ain’t no oxygen and stuff up this high.
Gza: Only high I know is through
the chronic boyz.
Rza: True dat!
Uriel and Eimen fly to the scene
and land in front of the entire Clan.
The Apocalypse Twins spread their enhanced wings. Uriel fires razor sharp blades of energy
while Eimen fires globs of highly potent acid out of their wings. Gza and Rza fall to Uriel and Eimen
respectively.
Ghost Face Killah: Dat be some
trippin’ sh#t!
Ol Dirty Bastard: Our a$$es gotsta go muthaf#Ca!!
The remaining Wu Tang Clan
members race across the icy terrain along the mountainside. The Apocalypse Twins take to the air. The duo veers from the fray and flies away. Three snow speeders race to the battle. Geney leads Cody and Rex as the trio soar
toward the Clan.
Geney: Open fire on my command.
The Clan looks up in dismay, they
are trapped like rats.
Cappadonna addresses his
teammates: We be f#Cked!
Geney: FIRE!!!
The snow speeders unleash their
weaponry and the entire clan is decimated by the three fighters.
Gothmog leads Little Goombas
17-25. The Goombas race ahead and face A.L.F. The diminutive alien uses his heat axes to
slice through Goombas 17, 19-22. The
remaining Goombas jump on A.L.F. and tear him apart with their fangs. Meanwhile, the orc leader battles Jareth the
Goblin King and is victorious. Gothmog
rips the head off of the porcelain skinned goblin and drinks the blood dripping
from his neck. The Blair Witch races
toward Gothmog and shreds the orc with her claws. Robotic Moe, Larry and Curly scamper to the
scene.
R Curly: Hey Moe! Gotta go!
R Moe: Go where you moron!
R Curly: Go to Goomba Hell.
The trio easily destroys the
remaining Goombas.
Dark Side Adept 13 attempts to
take on Jedi Masters 18A-27A to no avail.
The hubris of the Dark Side is no match for the skilled warriors and
DSA13 quickly perishes. Marvel Woman and
Young Marvel Man arrive and systematically, one by one, defeat and kill the
Jedi Masters. Nonetheless, Young Marvel
Man eventually succumbs to his wounds and falls in battle.
From an opening on the side of
the mountain, creeping from the darkness within, are the Shadow and Vampire
Lestat. The two surprise and surround Marvel
Woman. Although Marvel Girl rips the heart out of the Shadow, she dies at the
teeth of Lestat.
Glaurung flies above the peaks
and opens its gullet. The fire from the
beast’s gullet bursts forth and rips into Robotic Moe, Larry and Curly.
Robotic Curly: Nyuk. Nyuuuukkk. . . Nyuuuu. . .
The three become liquid metal.
The land speeders race over the
tundra. Quick Draw McGraw closes one eye
and fires both pistols. The marks horse hits
Captain Rex’s ship in the perfect location and the right engine begins to smoke. Rex steers his flaming vehicle into McGraw
and kills the horse in the crash. Rex
shimmies from his ship and the clone is immediately killed by Asgardian Matt
Oblak.
BL He-Man flies above to Cody’s
ship. The black lantern Eternian shreds
the cockpit open and throws Cody to his death.
While distracted, BL He-Man turns around and is killed by Uriel and
Eimen.
Geney enters into a formation
with Glaurung, Uriel and Eimen. Geney
destroys the Blair Witch. Uriel kills
Lestat and Oblak dies at the claws of Glaurung and Geney, but not before taking
out Uriel in the skirmish.
Geney looks from his snow speeder
at his remaining teammates and smiles.
Victory is theirs. . . today.
ReplyDeleteBrock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies: All dead.
TEAM: Glaurung, Mike “Goof Juice” Geney and Eimen survive.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!!!
Got that one up fast, nice work.
ReplyDeleteGoof won! Except he won for Ed.
ReplyDeleteNice one bry. Save some of Bama's love juice for me.
It is official. Becks does not deserve to go to The Star Wars Celebration. How could one who is willing to fly across the country for Star Wars not be aware that it takes two people to fly a snow speeder?? FOR SHAME!! And for Ed, a man who claims Empire to be his favorite Star Wars movie???? He should know better as well. I suspect foul play at work.
ReplyDeleteJ.K.
ReplyDeleteTEAM clinched the playoffs with this win. Their match against The Sith Aids next week will determine the winner of the division and who will get the first round bye.
ReplyDeleteJoshatu: watch Empire again-- when the Rebels find Han and Luke on the tundra- only the pilot. Two are only used in certain battle situations. This match- Goof, Cody and Rex did not need a second. Shame. Good thing you're not going to CVII- you would embarrass us during trivia.
ReplyDeleteThe second person is the gunner. If the ship is used to attack, which it was in this match then it must have a second person. And you're right, I would embarrass you during trivia because I would be on a different team and I'd waste you with my "bomb a** sick" Star Wars skillz: BEOTCH!!
ReplyDeleteI cannot comment back because you are simply wrong and a moron. Look it up.
ReplyDeleteYes! Let loose your anger!
ReplyDeleteSide note... When you read "Jedi Masters 18A-27A," please read it as "Elephant #9-10, and Ape Soldier #1-6, 24-25," cause that's who the Murderflies have.
ReplyDeleteSigh. . . Shamed. . .
ReplyDeleteYOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!!!
ReplyDeleteNo worries Becks. These commons have been a pain in the taint to keep track of this season as it is.
ReplyDeleteSo, Luke Skywalker: one of the best pilots in the alliance, Jedi in training, and leader of Rogue Squadron needed Dack; but Goofjuice can easily pilot one in to battle on his own. EPIC. WATCHER. FAIL.
ReplyDeleteJosh is trying to call out a Watcher for his inaccuracies of his portrayal of a character/vehicle.
ReplyDeleteIncredible.
I may be mistaken but I think the pilot was able to fire the front lasers and the tow rope. The second was simply a tail gunner who shot shit in the back.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, ride me big boy. Bring a friend if you want.
ReplyDeleteIf you want... but not necessary.
ReplyDeleteArtifact is correct. Though there is a gunner, the pilot can assume the controls and fire the weapons himself. Or herself. Or itself, in the case of one Darth Shemalya.
ReplyDelete"The Rebels armed the craft with dual AP/11 dual laser cannons and converted the cargo manager into a gunner. Computerized targeting systems and displays were used by the gunner to control the lasers and harpoon gun. However, the pilot could take control of weapons if needed."
ReplyDeleteSource - http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/T-47_airspeeder
22 comments and counting. None of which are Ed or Goof. lol
ReplyDeleteJosh....You done been ticketed by the Continuty Cop!
ReplyDelete"Nice shot Jackson".
ReplyDelete-Wedge: to his gunner, after he fires the tow rope. Am I the only who's even seen these movies??
Josh,
ReplyDeleteLuke was barely in a Jedi training at that point. He needed Dack because he still had a boner from kissing his sister and it got in the way of the controls.
The Gunner would have a better view on when to fire the tow cables in that attack. I don't remember there being much row cable usage in this match.
ReplyDeletePoint is invalid.
Gong!!!! I went to RAW on Monday. Cool story bro I know, but I have to come to my boy josh's defense, this good fella (RAW reference) couldn't hold Luke's swamp pillow, if Luke needed a gunner so does goof
ReplyDeleteJACKSON!?!?!
ReplyDeleteCome on people. Get my name right!
I'm talking to you Jersh!
False Dilemma:
ReplyDeleteYou can pilot and fire weapons from a snow speeder if you have two people.
*OR*
You leave it in the hanger to be destroyed by the Empire
Obviously there are more than two options, as this Watcher has so eloquently proven. Such as one pilot's amazing ability to pilot the snow speeder and fire it's weapons.
http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/False_dilemma
Also, Star Wars is rife with logical fallacies and inconsistencies so quoting a single part and using it as irrefutable proof is probably not the best strategy.
Points taken. Like any reasonable person would do, I concede.
ReplyDeleteNooooooo Josh I vouched for you, you can't do this to US, fight Josh fight.
DeleteSorry Janson, Auto correct gets me every time. And I'm sorry I got the league so butthurt. Furthermore, it is probably for the best that you girls are all on the same cycle now (#raid on the bon bons). I just hope it doesn't keep Becks from hooking up with any cute Lando impersonators at Celebration.
ReplyDeleteRack em.
I'm out!!
Robc,
ReplyDeletePart of being in the Fantasy Fantasy League is being fair and consistent with each other. When we provide another member with feedback that fills in knowledge gaps, one's best course of action is to be civil and admit defeat. Stubborn fighting just isn't in my nature.
And who the f&@k is posting as me?? Seriously, that's weak. Remind me to kick you in the dick later.
ReplyDeleteI hope you guys know I'm kidding by the way. I was just picking on Bryan because it is what we do. I don't actually lose sleep over snow speeder fan fiction.
ReplyDeleteGood match Becks, and nice win Ed!!
This is the most fun I've had at work in a long time.
ReplyDeleteI've been duped by a fake josh, I feel pathetic
ReplyDeleteOuch that hurts. I just kicked myself in the dick. It was both physiological impossible and very painful.
ReplyDeleteSays the FAKE RobC
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure I'm posting on a REAL google account, check the deets son before flinging baseless accusations
ReplyDeleteYou haven't used the words "Bloody Hell" or "Tea time". So you are not our jolly little friend from across the pond.
ReplyDeleteDid u bloody forget I was born in 'merica, eff man I went to a wwe event this week, I'm just over here for the pounds, that's dolllas to u across the pond, and ales
ReplyDeleteArtifact said...
ReplyDelete22 comments and counting. None of which are Ed or Goof. lol
April 15, 2015 at 2:40 PM
Clearly this match was a travesty.
Not since Michael Bay's ... well basically everything he's done... have characters of color been so incorrectly portrayed.
...
There's no way the Wu Tang holds up under cold weather as long as they did in this match... shits freezin on that ice mountain dog... word is bond son...
Epic Commentary from all. Better then match itself. Thanks guys! -Bryatu
ReplyDeleteOh, and by the way: a sharp shooter like Quick Draw McGraw would not close an eye while firing two pistols. He would need to leave both eyes open for such perfection in accuracy.
ReplyDeleteJust another GLARING error in this shameful match.
Get off your high horse Commish! You embarrass the league.
ReplyDeleteSomeone stole my phone at C7
ReplyDeleteHa!! Must have been Bama.
ReplyDelete