And her face and eyes was in peril;
And later that night when the lights went out of sight,
Came the wreck of me Papaw’s meat spicket.”
“The Wreck of Me Papaw’s Meat Spicket,” -Becks
TEAM is Heishiro Mitsurugi, Duke Nukem, Solid Snake with a Rifle, Sgt. Mike Shinsky, Black Lantern Pete Sosa, Ratta the Hutt and Cock Sneak Goomba #9.
Sith AIDS are Anakin Skywalker, Ashoka Tano and Dr. Kavita Rao.
That southern Gentleman is very rude.
Some people have bad days, even Clive Revel. I have days where even the freshest corn bisquit with the sweetest gravy you have ever tasted could not fix it. Today was one of those days. My day was lovely, meeting many kind, curteous people who patiently waited for my much appreciated signature. It was very similar to the day Dr. Kavita Rao was having until she took a shot directly to the face from Duke Nukem`s rocket launcher.
Duke spoke in a very strange, arrogant venacular that was quite off-putting to me. His selfish tone reminded me of the rudest person I have ever met. The southern man approached me with a stack of items that would be enough to fill Wembley Stadium. I am not exaggerating when I say they were as tall as Mount Everest.
Speaking of high up in the air, Black Lantern Pete Sosa took off into the beautiful nights sky, using the dark power of his lantern ring. Streaks of black mist eminated off of him like smoke leaving a chimney stack of a meat spicket factory. His power being what it was, faced in direct opposition to the light side of the force that spewed from the two Jedi on the opposite side of the pit platform.
The platform was very small, much like the table for which I was calling my home that day. The southern man had covered my temporary home with his items, making me feel violated in regards to my personal space. Violated is exactly how Sgt. Mike Shinsky felt as well when Anakin forced his light saber into his abdoman, stealing his life away from him.
The same fate fell upon Ratta the Hutt and the Cock Sneak Goomba as Ashoka cut through them like she was slicing up a savory meat pie. If I were to have had a meat pie on the day of the southern man, I would have taken one bite and gently shoved the remaining pie right in his face. Taking up my personal space was only the beginning though.
He took several minutes to uncover a poster, which was already covered in further human markings. He then proceeded to point to a spot boxed in with Post-It notes, a spot to which he wanted me to place down my mark. He insisted on me using a metallic blue sharpie for my marking, a tool that I am qutie familar with.
A familar tool to a Jedi is his light saber, an elegant weapon for a more civilized age. Anakin`s weapon was more then just a tool that he used to defend himself with, it was an extension of his body. With that extension, the prospect of stopping him, was a task very few people could ever imagine. Black Lantern`s may have the power of death on their side but nothing comes close to the power a Jedi as strong as Anakin has.
Pete flew down with all of his might, spreading his black magic down on the Jedi`s, but before he realized it, his hand had been severed from his body, sending both his body and the hand wearing ring down into the pit.
Being sent down into a pit only scratches the surface in regards to how that southern man made me feel as he continued to badger me. I am a patient man, somebody who is very good with difficult situations, but every man, no matter how mature they are, has a breaking point.
Being at a Breaking Point is exactly where Duke Nukem was at this time, as both Jedi`s were able to avoid every single weapon he shot at him. In a moment of shear desperation, Duke turned on his jetpack and headed right for Anakin. His rash move was quickly thwarted, as Ashoka crushed the arrogant muscle bound man`s jetpack, sending him deep into the pit.
Unfortunately for Ashoka, Duke Nukem had thrown a pipe bomb onto the platform directly where the young Jedi was standing. Right as he was impaled on the Pit`s floor, he detonated the bomb, not only destroying the center portion of the platform but also sending Ashoka down into the spike filled floor.
The southern man impaled me as well with his strict orders for making a mark, until I snapped and said, "Sir, I know how to sign my own name". After my comment the man became very angry and hostile, stomping his feet on the floor and hitting himself in the head with his own hand just repeating, "Revel is a jerk, don`t forsake me Revel".
I next grew tired of him taking up so much of my table space, so I further asked him if he could please remove his items from my spot. This enraged him to the point of eruption. His face was as red hot as an apple after being thrown down into a pit of molten rubber.
Enraged was exactly how Anakin felt as he watched his partner being impaled on the pit floor. Anakin, a user of the light side of the force reached down deep, using his anger to finish off his opponent`s in hopes to end this match once and for all. He easily blocked the shots from Solid Snake`s rifle, force crushing the barrel of his gun before using his light saber to end the life of the well trained vigilante.
He next set his sights on his only remaining enemy, Heishiro Mitsurugi, the master swordsman. The fight between the two of them was quite fierce, yet despite Anakin losing his left hand to the Soul Calibur character, he finally defeated him by force pushing him off of the platform and then throwing his lightsaber into the heart of the Samauri as he fell to his death.
Which brings me back to the southern man. After making my mark on all of his belongings and witnessing the worst anger stroke I have ever seen, the man finally left. As he walked away I could still hear him saying, "I hate that Clive Revel, forsake me not. Bryan, he has forsaken me!!!"
I now leave you with these words, if you are going to eat bisquits, never leave off the gravy and if you are ever forced to make your mark for people, please do whatever you can to avoid meeting that southern man.
Clive Revel is not rude, for the only rude person I know, goes by the name of Bama.
Horsemen of Apokolips are Black Bolt(Sinestro`s Green Lantern ring) Archangel(White Lantern ring), Joker(M202A1 FLASH Rocket Launcher), John McClane(Mandalorain Armor, Green and Blue lightsaber), Wonder Woman(Wonder Woman`s Golden Lasso), Harry Potter, Obi Wan Kenobi, Lion-O(Hal Jordan-Parallax`s Green Lantern Ring), Brandon Inge(Green Lantern Ring), Ape Soldier #21-23, Wookie Soldier #31-36 and Jedi Master #49.
Sisterhood of Evil Midgets is Zufa Cenva(White lantern ring in the Tardis), Magneto, Oppo Rancisis and Terri Hatcher in a Snow Speeder, Adi Gallia (blue lantern ring) in a snow speeder with Dean Cain (blue lightsaber), The Eradicator, The Captain N, Duke (Capt. N`s Dog), Princess Toadstool, Yoshi, Ice Bros. #1, Smurf #1, Scout Trooper #21-30 & Jedi Master #50A.
Clive Revel is a jerk, he embarrassed me.
I don`t like it when people are jerks to me. Why have all of these people forsaken me? All I want is to do what I want. It may be cold where you are but for me, it is always sunny days.
I saw Oppo Rancisis, who is a character I created. Do you want to hear the voice? My name is Oppo Rancisis, I like flying snow speeders all by myself, just like my mamaw does. I saw the Thatcher lady join Superman and Galliliea in another speeder of the snow.
Speeders are flying in the cold weather like my grand papaw`s porridge in a cold sink of water. They are making terror for the Ape and Wookie Soldiers, killing all but Wookie soldier #36. That three person speeder is making streaks in the sky like the sweet sunflowers in the dark Georgia sky.
Brandon Inge likes baseball like I like autographs. Like when I force someone to sign their name on my paper, Brandon cuts through those who are not his kinfolk like warm butter allows the cutting of itself to be placed on crispy corn chips. Yoshi, Ice Bros. and the Smurf all fall to the butter cutting of Inge, who also turns every single Scout Trooper into the inner fillings of a sweet potoato pie.
The baseball man met his match when the bright light of the ring ended his
buttery run of golden slatherings. Zufa likes the Whiteness of her ring. Zufa looks likes a lovely southern belle, floating around like a queen bee after the feast with her elders, the elders that have been providing since she was first birthed.
That beautiful Bee floated around like my Mamaw does when she knows I need her help. Autographs are not easy to come by when you are blue. Zufa uses her white ring, her purification proving station to make getting everything she wants, like an autograph, an easy task. Zufa signed her name all over the Wookie and the Jedi Master #49, making her signature known by the beauty of her white drag.
Clive Revel is a jerk.
Duke and Captain N are jerks too. They embarrassed Harry Potter, who lost his kin when he was just a tiny little baby. My papaw protected me up until I was a grown man. Harry Potter used his powers from his elders to put down the jerks. Magic can be like a chair that you need one minute and then do not need in another. That boy wizard uses his powers like a farm hand uses his muscles.
Princess`s die sometimes, like my pig back home. I miss Repeecesses Canpanperuss. She sounded like this. "Rawwampapaw Groarrrrr". The Princess left after being knocked off the micro-rider. She went up to the lord and savior after the wizard magik`d her away to the sleepy land of clouds.
Sometimes people talk to me and I don`t understand what the words are that they say. Magneto doesn`t understand why people have to treat him so wrong. He takes his misunderstanding and uses it as a weapon, he musters his powers and forces the funny man to shoot his rockets at his own team. Boy wizards are like bails of hay when fire comes upon them.
The Tardis appears out of nowhere and the beautiful white bee comes out and shines her light upon Obi-Wan Kenobi, the man who gave up his life to protect the son of his brother.
Protecting posters is a hard task, especially with jerks out there like Clive Revel. Protecting team friends is not the easy task of a gentleman either. Like I said, words are not easy to understand sometimes, Black Bolt understands where this southern boy son is speaking from. I am not exaggerating when I say Black Bolt said "Hello" to Zufa and the world literally ended.
Zufa then died from that unfortunate greeting. That poor pure lass, I will miss her like an unidentified Ewok roaming the show room floor. The man with the cruel greetings did not stop there. He continued to spread his words of hateful salutations to both snow speeders, destroying my character Oppo Rancisis along with his ship. The other ship was sent crashing down to the icy tundra as well, the perishing of their lives made me as angry as procuring poor seating for a stage play.
Cussing makes my mamaw nervous. She doesn`t like it when I expell the filthy tougue swagger from my maw. John McClane has a smart mouth when he is angry, oh so angry that man seems to be. He flew up with his armor and started shooting at Jedi Master #50A. The jedi master was able to dodge the first couple of shooty shots but once he saw the green Lion, he fell to the cussing man`s laser pellets.
You know what would be funny? If Wonder Woman went up to Magneto and was like, "I know". Wonder Woman tried to go up to the Eradicator but that great being decided that even though she was a lady, she couldn`t be alive no more. When she died I was real sad. Then the green lion and Archangel had a talking to with The Eradicator and with their green and white misty potion rings, they made him go away.
Autographs need to be air conditioned, that is how you take care of them like you would a child. If they get fussy you have to feed them too, they like a dusting of corn flakes next to their bed at night. The smiles make them happy you birthed them with your thoughts. Taking care of Magneto was a scary task for the ones with the burden. Black Bolt said "Much Abliged" and then the glowing lights made sure he was not afraid of the dark.
It does get dark down in the Bayou. Magneto wasn`t scared. He was so cold though in the tundra. He decided to make some warmth by taking the refuse from the speeders and sticking it through the hearts of the cussing man and the green Lion. The laughing man wasn`t laughing any longer, he didn`t like it when his friends were made to not live. He shot his rockets at the magnet man while Black Bolt and the White Angel spread their love on him.
The pure southern hospitality reigned down upon Magneto, making his cold heart all warm inside, while it took him up to baby jesus. The remaining kin gave each other warm regards as they exchanged pleasantries amoungst each other. The phone box then appeared out of nowhere and out came the white bee. She sent her white light directly down on Black Bolt and before he was able to return the greeting, his green light was forever extinguished. The Tardis then disappeared once again, never to be seen from.
That is why I hate jerks. I hate it when they make sure to embarrass me. I hate you Clive Revel. Why have you forsaken me!!!