Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Consolation: Round 3

Points: 6
Prize: A turbo-charged Riding lawnmower
Setting: The Joust Stand from American Gladiators (surrounded by lava (of course)).
Teams:

-Griswold's Nut-busters Vs. The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets (John)
-TEAM Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Chris)
-The Moist Mafia Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches (Nick)
-Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. The Fake Men (Becks)
-John and Vader's House of Sith Aids Vs. Barack Obama and Hannah Montana's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos (Josh)
-The Empire Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Alex)

The King of Consolation

Points: 30
Prize: Poe Dameron's X-Wing
Watcher: Nick
Setting: Nick's Basement/Heekey Rink with special guest referee Razor Ramon.
Teams:

Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family Vs. The Abomitrons.

The 2016 Universe Bowl

Setting: The Playoff Planet
Points: 1200
Prize: Starkiller Base

George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Royal Highness

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Season 9: NL Conference Finals: The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets -vs- George Washington's Slaves

The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets are Emperor Joker, Katma Tui, Bizarro Mr. Mxyztplk, Scar (Oa Guardian), Supergirl (Ariella Kent), Green Lantern #3 in a Bell X-2, Deadshot, Blue Devil, The Phoenix Force Entity, Magneto in a Vought Sikorsky VS-300, Psylocke, X-23, (Age of Apocalypse) Weapon X, (AOP) Cyclops (w/Bleez’s Red lantern ring) and R-4 Unit #1 in a Resistance X-Wing, Deadpool, Azazel (w/Count Dooku’s Red Lightsaber and Deadpool’s Old Red Lightsaber), Venom (Flash Thompson), He-Man, Omega Supreme, Soundblaster w/ Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, Ratbat, Overkill, Slugfest, Squawtalk, Beastbox, Enemy, Wingthing, Flip Sides, Sundor, Garboid, Howlback, Glit, Nightstalker, Playback, Rosanna, Stripes and Decepticon #7, Luminara Unduli (w/ white lantern ring), Adi Gallia (w/ blue lantern ring), Nazgul #9 (w/ indigo lantern ring and Nazgul #9’s Fell Beast), Ken (Street Fighter) w/ Guy Gardner’s Yellow Lantern Ring, Ron Popeil w/ Green lantern ring and Paploo w/ blue lantern ring in the fucking Tardis, Allia Atreides (St. Allia of the goddamn knife) w/ Asaji Ventress’ 2 red lightsabers, Princess Irulan w/ Star Sapphire Ring, Black Lantern Blip, Star Wolf w/ laser sword, laser gun and pokeball and R.O.B. the Robot in a Resistance X-Wing, The Wicked Witch of the East w/ Larfleeze’s Orange Lantern Ring, Black Lantern Shaun Poteracki all inside a Pre-Guild Foldspace Ship from Dune.

George Washington’s Slaves are Shemalyah, Nik Landsoh, Brek Nyram, George Washington w/ Iron Man Suit and green lightsaber, Superman, Jor-El, Amazo, Fernus, Loki, Wolverine, Aunt May, Doppleganger, S.U.R.F. (Sharkskin, Eel, Undertow), Hydra, MerMan, Santa Claus w/ all 9 reindeer, Bill Reiser, Lance Bean, Sarumon w/ The One Ring, Gollum, Thunderclash w/ Autobot Matrix of Leadership, Blurr, Roadblaster, Crocodile Dundee w/ Darth Nihilus’s Lightsaber, Air Bud, Wedge Antilles and R5-D4 in a Resistance X-Wing, Poe Damron and BB-8 in a Resistence X-Wing, Ki Adi Mundi, Kol Skywalker w/ Yoda’s Green Lightsaber, Shado Vao and Shintor Beerus, Jedi Master Dooku and Padawan Qui Gon Jinn, Tim Cheveldae w/ Tron Light suit and light disc, Steve Yzerman w/ Green Lantern Ring, Crimmell w/ Red Lightsaber, Sandworm #18 and Peter Griffin w/ Iron Man Armor.


Emperor Joker: Can you do it or not?

The Phoenix Force entity ignites in a furious display of fiery explosions, blasting flames hundreds of feet into the air. The planet itself had been unstable for some time now, massive cracks in the planets surface along with constant earthquakes made it very difficult for anybody to concentrate completely on the moment at hand.

Emperor Joker: Then (with just a tiny hint of maniacal laughter in his voice) what are you waiting for?

Darth Shemalyah winks her lazy eye at the The Phoenix Force entity not a moment before it sent a blast strong enough to take out a planet at the Dark One, eviscerating her in an instant.

Nik Landsoh and Brek Nyram scream in horror as their master has been defeated, leaving them alone, surrounded by their opponents on all sides. 

Emperor Joker laughed hysterically, dancing around on the unstable surface, wildly firing a pistol he had taken off a resident of the playoff planet.

Emperor Joker: This I tell you will never get old!!!


Some Time Earlier


Superman: The road to the finals is never going to be an easy one. I have received some dark messages from HER that tells me this match will be a challenge, one that will involve the sacrifice of almost everyone on this team. I hope you are all up to the challenge.

Crocodile Dundee: Well mate, we’ve come this far, I don’t see us laying down now.

Wolverine: What do you say George, you got one last fight in you?

The ever stoic George Washington looks around at his team and finishes his visual rounds on Logan.

Washington: Mr. Logan, I believe we all have another fight left in us, for what is the point of us showing up here today if we do not give it our all.

Superman: You heard the man; the fight does not finish with anything less then at least one Slave surviving!

Saruman: Can you all feel it?

Bill Reiser: Feel what?

Saruman: The presence is coming for me one last time.

Bill Reiser: What are you going on about old man?

Kol Skywalker: (Hits Bill in the shoulder and looks at him) 9 deaths, it means more to some of us. Just let him ramble. This could be it for him.

Reiser looks at Kol and then looks back at Saruman.

Saruman: The ring is ready for its final battle. Hidden for as long as needed. We are now ready for the end.

Moments later the teleportation system takes the entire Slaves team to the Playoff planet, dispersing them to the various regions of the world.


At the same time, the Midgets Pre-Guild Foldspace ship enters the space above the Playoff planet, delivering the Slaves opponent into the field of play. Ships dispersed in various directions along with most members of the Midget’s team, heading straight for the planet surface.

WATER REGION

Hydra lies in wait for somebody to join him in the deepest ocean on the planet but after several hours, nobody shows. Loki and George Washington along with several other Slaves members stare out into the empty playing field, wondering where their opponent’s are. Just then, George Washington notices something coming towards them.

Loki: Is that, no, it can’t be.

CITY REGION

Several members of the Slaves take up their post in the ruins of the city center, waiting for anybody to join them, but after waiting for several hours in the extreme heat, still nothing.

DESERT REGION

Sandworm #18 swims through the desert sand, elegantly displacing as little sand as it possibly can. Multiple members of the Slaves team look in every direction, expecting to see somebody, anybody coming towards them in the distance, yet, there is nothing.

SPACE REGION

Superman, Jor-El, Amazo and Fernus float above the planet surface, staring at the Pre-Guild Foldspace ship that has been there ever since they arrived. Nobody has entered or left the ship, complete silence surrounding it. As Superman flies around the ship to inspect it he hears the voice of the Dark One in his head.

Shemalyah: They are everywhere Mr. Kent, yet our people are unaware of their presence.  I can see them, but my sight will not be enough. Destroy the ship at once; that shall bring them out and give me the time I need to bring them forward.

Jor-El: What is it my son, I can tell you have heard a voice only meant for you.

Superman: We must destroy that ship at once. Only then will the enemy show itself.

The four super powered beings then begin their attack on the ship, only to have it disappear before only a small amount of damage.

Jor-El: Now what?

Superman: Not sure, but I suspect our help is needed on the surface. If it is a sneak attack that they have planned, I believe they may have already accomplished it.

Jor-El: Furnus, I believe some protection is in order if this is the case. Some fireworks please.

As the four Slave members passed down towards the planets surface, Furnus ignited the upper atmosphere in a ball of fire that must have looked like the heaven’s themselves falling down towards citizens of the planet. If there was anybody waiting for them, it was unlikely they would have survived the heat shield that Furnus provided for them.

As the four members of the Slaves landed in the desert region, there was still nothing to see but their own teammates. If the Midgets were hiding from them, they were doing one hell of job.

Jor-El: We should split up son. Amazo and I will head towards the city and Fernus, police this area with Kal-El.

As Jor-El was saying this to Superman, the voice of Shemalyah entered his head again, only this time it was mere fragments of thoughts, that were barely recognizable, making little sense, “their here, I’m here, the end, stay hidden, for us, them, I am with…OPEN YOUR EYES…Clark, too late…LEAVE THIS PLACE NOW” Suddenly, the desert was covered in Transformers, attacking from all sides.

Superman: Father, get out of here. Fernus and I will help out in this region. Our team is defenseless for these attacks.

Jor-El and Amazo immediately took off towards the city region to spread the word.

Blurr and Roadblaster were unaware they even had opponents and like that, they were destroyed by Omega Supreme. Thunderclash was busy destroying Soundblasters tapes and despite the fact that he took out a good portion of them, their numbers were too much for him. He eventually succumbed to the massive attack on him but not before opening up his chest plate and detonating the Matrix of Leadership, which acted like a nuclear bomb, destroying everything in a fifteen mile radius.

Superman and Fernus heeded the advice of Shemalyah moments before the explosion but every other combatant was killed in the blast. Both Slave and Midget causalities would have littered the desert if not for the fact that there was nothing left but a massive hole in their place. Soundblaster and all of his remaining tapes were killed along with Omega Supreme. On the Slaves side, Thunderclash was obviously dead but so was the only Sandworm on either team. As it was his final death, his friendly fire demise struck the Slaves with a loss that they could not afford to lose so early on in a match that they were already unprepared for.

Superman: We must get over to the city right now, nobody knows what is coming or has already hit them. It is up to the four of us to spread the word. I just hope we are not already too late.

Superman and Fernus flew towards the city region where they hoped Jor-El and Amazo had made it to in time.

CITY REGION

Chaos engulfed the region; death had taken up residence in every nook and cranny of the city. Perhaps the Slaves had over populated this area of the planet with combatants, but that choice had long been a mistake they were going to have to live with at this point in the fight.

By the time Superman and Fernus had arrived, the bodies of dozens of people littered the streets. Bill Reiser and Lance Bean gunned down in the road, the bloody and beaten body of Air Bud, smashed up against a fire hydrant. Nearby, He-Man’s headless body was sliced clean off by what was obviously a lightsaber. Kol Skywalker and Luminara Unduli, both with each other’s light sabers through the others neck. The White Lantern Ring laid on the ground by itself, nobody nearby to pick it up.

Superman and Fernus took different sides of the city in an attempt to make sense of this battle, which could not have taken place even twenty minutes before there arrival.

Superman walked the streets hoping to find anybody alive in the bloodshed. He once more passed many more of his teammates. Crocodile Dundee and Ki Adi Mundi back to back, both dead on the ground. Across the street from them, Deadshot and Blue Devil both with holes the size of bowling balls in their chests. Ken and Princess Irulan’s rings smashed on the ground, leaving their lifeless bodies as nothing more then barriers for somebody trying to make their way through the city streets.

Finally in the distance Fernus called out to Superman that he found a survivor. As Clark made his way over to badly beaten Qui Gon Jinn, he was shocked by his appearance. It was quickly apparent that the young padawan was not long for this world.

Superman: How did this happen. The speed of which this battle took place makes no sense. We were not more then twenty minutes away from the beginning of this fight.

Qui-Gon: (Fighting through bloody coughs) Twenty minutes, this started hours ago. I have (coughs up more blood) been here for two hours at least waiting for somebody (coughing) to show up.

Superman looks over at Furnus in confusion.

Superman: Where did everyone go? Did you see Jor-El.

Qui-Gon still coughing up blood said, “He made it here in time to save a couple of the Jedi’s. Master Dooku and Shintor made it out of here but that is all I saw. One moment it was chaos and then suddenly (coughing painfully) it was empty.”

Superman: Fernus we need to…Wait, did you hear that?”

From behind Superman is knocked to the ground by a familiar face. Superman is then hit in the face with a fierce punch, one that knocked him to the ground but caused little damage.

Wolverine: Where the hell have you been? Jor-El said you were right behind him.

Superman: Logan! (Wolverine charged at him once more but was easily stopped by the Kryptonian) Stop this! We were right behind him.

Wolverine: Then why are you just now showing up?

Superman: We’re too late (he muttered to himself).

Wolverine: No shit pal you’re too late!

Superman: No, that is what SHE said to me moments before the attack.

Wolverine: You saw her? Where is she?

Superman: I didn’t see her; she talked to me moments before the attack. She told me they were hidden from us and the last thing she said to me was that we were already too late.

Wolverine: Well she got that right.

Superman: They displaced time. That is what she was telling me.

Wolverine: Come again Professor? I’ve been involved with time displacement before it never seems to end up good for anyone, especially me.

Superman: Their ship can move through space and time and…the Joker. I am a fool for not seeing this. Do you know where Jor-El went?

Wolverine: It’s like the kid said, they were all here one moment and the next it was empty. Only the kid and I over there were left. I’ve been looking for anybody since then but nothing, just nothing.

Superman: Then let’s get out of here. Fernus, grab the kid and Logan, hang on.

Wolverine: You gotta be joking Clark. I’m not riding you like a fucking cart donkey around this joint.

Superman: I don’t like it anymore then you do but we need to get to the water region.

Wolverine: What’s the water got to do with this?

Superman: Loki, if anybody knows what could be happening, it’s him.

Wolverine walks over to Clark and grabs on to his back. “Nobody hears about this, alright.”

Fernus laughs and he grabs the young padawan and the four of take off towards the water region.

WATER REGION

Loki: My goodness, it is. George, I never thought I would see the day that the fowl beast would shame himself into riding side saddle with the Superman.

As Superman, Logan, Fernus and Qui-Gon landed near the ocean, Loki walked up to them with a never ending grin on his face.

Loki: My my Logan, have you no pride.

Wolverine: How about you keep this to yourself before I permanently knock that smile off of your face.

Loki: I take it you boys have seen some action already, lucky you.

Wolverine walks up to Loki and extends his claws in his direction.

Loki: Remember Logan, I’m on your side this time.

Wolverine: You keep that mouth running and I might just forget about this whole teammate thing.

Superman: Both of you stop it! Loki, have you not seen anybody yet?

Loki: Unless you count George and the sea monster, it has been all quiet on the western front so far, though it is still quite early, not too surprising.

Superman: Good, I believe we are in the middle of something.

Loki: Ah yes, she’s been talking to you as well. She just told me that she had discovered their whereabouts only moments ago. I was hoping for something a little bit more involved and a little less cryptic but alas, it is HER that we are speaking of.

Superman: Can you figure out what is going on? If what Logan has been telling me is true, you are several hours behind the rest of us.

Loki: Oh how fun, a little time displacement always makes things a bit more interesting to deal with.

Wolverine: Look bub, we’ve lost half the team already so how about you get in line quick…

Loki: Or we haven’t lost anybody yet. (Loki smiles, knowing his comment will only enrage the mutant even further.)

Wolverine: Clark, it’s taking everything I got right now not to pummel this guy.

Superman: (Sighs) He’s right Logan. Depending on how this goes, we still may be able to make it back to the city in time to save a lot more lives. Loki, can you look into this?

Loki: It would be my distinct pleasure.

Loki disappears, leaving the remaining Slaves to fend for themselves.

Wolverine: Now what? We just wait for him to come back and give us a clue into what is going on here?

Superman: We could, it might actually be our best course of action.

Wolverine: But that’s not what we're going to do is it?

Superman: Look up Logan.

Wolverine: What am I looking at? Gorgeous weather?

Superman: The ship is back, which means while we are in this time period, everything that we can see from here is where it was when we first got here. I am wondering if they have control over everything around here or if it is just down on the planet’s surface.

Wolverine: So it’s a guessing game, wonderful.

Superman: When we attacked the ship up there I originally thought that it had left because we were attacking it, a smart move for sure but once I got into the city I just figured it was because it jumped time periods on us.

Wolverine: You’re losing me Clark; you’re going all Xavier on me again.

Superman: What if my first thought was correct? What if it did just leave because we were attacking it?

Wolverine: What’s the plan then? You head up there and attack it again? It’s just going to leave the second you start up on it.

Superman: No, I’m not going to attack it at all. I’m going to get inside of it and leave with it the second it left in the first place. If I can follow it to wherever it went, maybe I can figure this thing out before the city battle even takes place.

Wolverine: So you’re leaving us? Great. Me, George, the furnus and a hurt Jedi. I’m sure that’s enough to take care of their entire team.

Superman: We have them outnumbered in the water; they have no reason to ever come here. Plus, I am more then confident in your abilities Wolverine. Just pretend everyone is Loki and I don’t see them standing a chance.

Logan laughs and agrees with Clark. Superman then leaves his teammates and heads up towards the ship. As he approaches the ship he can see himself along with Furnus, Jor-El and Amazo in the distance, oblivious to his presence. Superman then flies up towards the ship and makes a small incision in the ships hull, making his way inside.

When he enters he noticed plenty of Midgets members in the ship. Luckily for him, they were far more preoccupied by the earlier version of himself and his group. He laid low until the ship began to take fire and immediately disappeared to another time altogether. The ship, which was now on the opposite side of the planet, sits in place, explaining why he could no longer see it from the city.

The biggest question he had now was when this ship was in the timeline. As he made his way through the massive vessel, he realized that despite the luxury that anonymity granted him, it was in his team’s best interest to be able to see who was actually on the ship in the first place. If he noticed anybody from the city region that was already dead, he could figure out perhaps where he was in the timeline.

Moving throughout the ship quietly, Superman finally came upon a group of Midget members, none of which he recognized from the city.

Superman: (Loudly clearing his throat) Well this doesn’t look like my ship, my apologies.

Immediately, Psylocke and X-23 sprang into action, showering him with attacks that were quickly countered with several body shots to the pair of them. Psylocke, attempting to knock Superman down to the ground via an energy construct that looked like a whip, was sent flying into a wall with a blast of heat vision. Superman then punched X-23, breaking the neck of the Wolverine clone.

Superman’s presence was quickly known throughout the ship as several more Midget members joined the fight, making it a much more challenging affair for the kryptonian. Soon, Venom along with the Black Lantern’s Blip and Shaun Poteracki rifled their attacks on Clark, dragging the fight out longer but in the end, Superman was still standing tall without much to show from it.

Before he was able to make any more headway though, Superman was knocked to the ground via a blast of Green and Orange energy from Green Lantern #3 and The Wicked Witch of the East. Both lantern wearers held their own with the son of Jor-El but eventually the kryptonian was able to blast through the bottom of the ships hull, sending the vacuum of space inside the ship, destroying a portion of the ship in the process.

As the blast rang throughout the ship, Superman was able to regain his bearings, blasting both lantern wearers to pieces, catching both of them off guard throughout the continuing chaos. As he attempted to leave, he noticed that the guild ship was beginning to make another attempt at folding space and time. Not wanting to lose track of the ship once again, he flew back inside of the ship only to find Allia Atreides attempting to use her powers via spice mélange to make this happen.

Superman in a race against time in more ways then one flew directly into Allia and sent her out into space, exposing her unprotected body to the vacuum and freezing temperatures, killing her within seconds. As Superman attempted to fly from away from the ship, he was shot several times by Cyclops who flew by him in his X-Wing. Several shots from the X-Wing sent him back towards the ship, which was now mindlessly floating above the planet.

From the opposite side of Superman, all three Slave members flew in via their X-Wings, making this a full on dog fight. Superman attempted to free himself from the crossfire but before he was fully able to vacate the scene, Ariella Kent shot him with a blast of energy that once more sent him towards the Dune space vessel. Disoriented and pissed, Superman sent a blast of heat vision that Supergirl deflected off of herself, shooting it back towards Superman. The blast hit the ship with such force that it ruptured the hull, sending shockwaves throughout the empty ship. Very quickly, the ship began to break apart, creating a spark that soon lead to an explosion that rocked everything in sight.

Wedge Antilles and his R-5 unit managed to escape the blast but every other X-Wing was unfortunately lost in the blast. Cyclops, Poe Dameron, Star Wolf and Kyle Catarn all losing their lives in the process. Due to the strange nature of the ship, the explosion caused not only physical damage on all the surrounding combatants, but it also caused damage to time and space itself, sending every aspect of the match into crisis.

Superman and Supergirl were both unable to regain their balance as both of them were eventually sent crashing towards the planet’s surface, being sucked into the planets gravitational pull. As Superman unsuccessfully attempted to regain his composure, he was knocked once more by what appeared to be a ball of fire. The knock finally sent his unconscious body down to the planets surface, where he would remain for the time being.

Sometime Later…

When Superman finally awoke from his unscheduled slumber he watched in horror as Darth Shemalyah was eviscerated, hearing the screams of Nik Landsoh and Brek Nyram in the distance as their master had been murdered by the Phoenix Force Entity.

As the Man of Steel began to stand up he looked around and was surprised to see his entire team standing around him, doing nothing but watching the remaining Midget team members celebrate the death of the Dark One.

Superman: What is going on here? Why did you not help her???

Saruman: It is like you said Mr. Kent; we were all willing to lay our lives down for this match. It has been her plan all along. As long as the Joker was concentrating all of his manpower and resources on trying to kill HER, we were able to slowly gather our forces and stay hidden for the real plan.

Superman looked around and realized that every one of his teammates were garnering absolutely no attention from the Midget’s team, leading him to come to the realization that they were invisible.

Saruman: This ring has given us all the greatest power that one could ask for, the power to remain hidden from our enemies. All of us together in different locations were a gamble that she was not willing to take. That is why she spoke to you alone Clark. She fed you enough information; just enough to keep you on track today. Your path through this match has given me the time I have needed to collect everybody, knowing full well where the Joker would be this entire time.

Loki: The Joker may have been gifted with the power to disrupt time, but he failed to consider the possibility of us staying just in the shadow of time.

Wolverine: The Shadow of Time?

Loki: Yes Logan, now please stop whining every time you do not understand a concept, at this rate we may never act on anything else again.

Wolverine: Saruman, let’s get this party started already. I’ve got a lot pent up aggression to deal with.

Saruman: Places everybody, just because she is gone, does not mean that we can’t still disappoint her.

Loki: Very right my friend.

Just then, Bizarro Mxyztplk appeared in front of them to surprise of everybody.

Bizarro Mxyztplk: Well here you guys are, I have been wondering now for a while.

Loki: My fellow trickster, how are you?

Bizarro Mxyztplk: Not too shabby really, I’d ask you the same but I suspect I already have the answer.

As Bizarro Mxyztplk finishes his statement, Saruman takes off the One Ring, revealing the Slaves team to the surrounding Midget’s. Earthquakes rock the area as the instability of the planet continues to cause havoc everywhere.

Emperor Joker: Oohhh, look who it is, the entire Slaves team. Hey, did you happen to notice who isn’t with us anymore? (He continues to laugh as his team readies themselves for one final stand)

Loki: Hello Emperor, congrats on your accomplishments. Darth Shemalyah is our finest fighter. It is a shame for us not to have her for this finale. Though I suspect (Loki’s voice begins to get deeper) we still may have a couple more (voice drops even more) tricks up our (voice is now low and raspy) sleeves.

As soon as the word ‘sleeves’ is uttered, Loki reveals himself to be none other then Darth Shemalyah her/himself.

The Joker has a look of shock on his face and the once hysterically laughing Midget member’s jovial demeanor turned instantly to rage.

Emperor Joker: Kill them! Kill them all!!!!

Chaos erupts as everybody on both squads begins to attack, sending blast after blast of every possible kind of energy known from both teams. Lantern rings being used in every direction, force powers being used on one another. It was chaos at its finest.

Tim, Steve and Crimmell teamed up to attack Weapon X, yet despite their best advances and Steve Yzerman’s Green Lantern ring, it was not enough to take the mutant down.

Wolverine: Hey, how about we make this fight a family affair.

Weapon X growls at Wolverine and attacks him. Both of them thrash away at each other, tearing flesh from each others body. Wolverine begins to gain the upper hand on Weapon X but before he is able to finish him off, Deadpool runs in, grabs Crimmell’s lightsaber off of the ground and runs it through Wolverine’s stomach. As Wolverine falls to ground dying, Fernus torches both Weapon X and Deadpool until there is nothing left but the skeletal remains of both of them.

Fernus removes the lightsaber from Logan’s, chest but before his healing factor kicks in, he is torn apart by Magneto who had been prior to this, busy dismantling Santa Claus’ sleigh, killing Santa and his Reindeer in the process.

Magneto: A shame to ruin such a fine warrior.

Amazo: Speaking of which…

Amazo then grabbed Magneto’s arm and used his own powers against him by picking up the remains of both Weapon X and Wolverine, sending every piece of adamantium through the body of Erik Lehnsherr, killing him in the process.

The remaining lantern holder’s on the Midgets worked together to make quick work of as many Slaves as possible. Adi Gallia and Paploo used their blue rings to amplify the green lantern ring of Ron Popeil, allowing him to kill Shado Vao and Shintor Beerus. Gollum, in an attempt to steal any ring he could, was caught in the cross fire as well.

Nearby, Azazel accomplished the easy kill of the injured Qui-Gonn Jinn to the dismay of his master.

Dooku: I believe that sword will belong to me one day.

Dooku then drives his lightsaber through the neck of Azazel and grabs his future red sword before it hits the ground.

Emperor Joker stands there and watches both teams battle, never breaking eye contact with Darth Shemalyah from across the battle field. Both of them engage in telepathic communication with each other, neither one willing to make the first move.

Jor-El and Superman engage in battle with the Phoenix force entity among several others. Ariella Kent attempts to make her way into Superman’s personal space but is force pushed away by Brek Nyram, into the blast zone of the Phoenix Force, killing her instantly.

Scar and Katma Tui then quickly turn their attention to the Shemalyah acolyte, turning him into green ash before he is able to mount a defense. Nik Landsoh takes deep offense to this attack but his comeback is met with more of the same from the Oa guardian, killing Nik in the same fashion.

Nearby, Adi Gallia, Paploo and Ron Popeil turn their attention on Count Dooku, who at first is able to withstand the melee attack from the three ring wearers but is eventually overcome and destroyed in the process, but not before taking out Paploo with a well time force snapping of the neck.

Adi, Ron Popeil and the newly joined Nazgul and Fell Beast who had been fighting the S.U.R.F members along with MerMan, a much easier kill being as they were out of their natural habitat, turned their collective attention on the only ring wearing member of the Slaves that was left.

Ron Popeil: If it isn’t the once great Saruman. I liked what you had to offer in the past old timer but I can promise you that these new and improved rings that we have to offer you will blow your mind.

All three of them begin to blast Saruman with everything they have but before the blasts touch Saurman, they are deflected by the One Ring.

Saruman: There are some things that are impossible to replace my old friend. In fact, you may want to reconsider your choices altogether.

Saruman then raised his hand and allowed the ring to do its magic. Every lantern ring dropped off of each and every Midget members hand and fell to the ground. Saruman then turned silent, realizing that every ounce of fight that the ring allowed him to have, was the end of his life as well. Saruman looked at the ring one final time and collapsed to the ground, dead.

Just then, George Washington flew in with his Iron Man suit and loped the heads off of Adi Gallia and Fell Beast #9. The Nazgul screamed in anger and started to attack the first President, forcing him to ignite his Iron Man suit, sending him high into the sky. 

Shemalyah and Emperor Joker continue their stare down as both of their teammates die around them. In the meantime, Bizarro Mr. Mxyztplk stood over to the side, talking to Aunt May about what they believe was going on between the two of them.

Aunt May: So that is what I mean by in the shadows of time.

BM: Well that is a concept that I have never even considered before, which disappoints me as I have spent so much of my time considering and making a mess of everything. Though in the end, I cannot help but making things okay.

Aunt May: (With a distinctly dark look in her eyes) You are a good man Mr. M. It is a shame I have to do this.

Aunt May then pulls out a switch blade and jams it into the underside of Bizarro Mxyztplk’s jaw, stunning not only him but Emperor Joker himself.

Emperor Joker: That’s it Shemalyah! You want to fight dirty, then let’s fight dirty!!!!!

Shemalyah let’s a small grin sneak out and answers the Joker with a simple, “Is there any other way?”

The Joker then begins warping the very fabric of space and gravity around Darth Shemalyah, from an outsider’s point of view, nothing around either of them made sense. It was a mishmash of different scenes from many different outcomes. Shemalyah, not one to act rash was quietly fighting back against the Emperor, though it was not easy to see this.

Superman: Father, I must help HER. Can you and Fernus handle this fight without me?

Jor-El: Go my son, she is far too important to let die again.

Superman leaves his father and Fernus to continue the fight against the Phoenix force entity but as soon as he enters the space near the Joker and Shemaylah, it is a completely different scene then its appearance looking in displayed. All he sees is the Joker screaming at them, yet he could not hear any sound coming from him. Shemalyah was just standing there, staring directly at the Joker, still not breaking eye contact.

Shemalyah: Mr. Kent, you must leave this area immediately. Trust me when I say it is under control.

Superman: You are not sacrificing yourself again. We are going to need your help if we are to win this match. Let me take over this fight, I have fought the Joker countless times.

Shemalyah: I’m sorry Clark, but today, it is my turn to die.

Shemalyah then force pushes Clark out of the way, sending him flying into the fight between Katma Tui, Scar and Amazo. Superman then looks over at Shemalyah and watches as she begins to tear the Emperor apart little by little. Turning his reality bending ways against him as he can no longer control which reality he is in, forcing him to stretch himself so thin, that he eventually cannot keep it together. The Joker is quickly reduced to nothing more then a faint echo of himself in the fabric of time.

The remaining Midget teammates feel the temporal shift in time, forcing them to turn their attention to the space in which the Joker used to inhabit. As the only thing left of the Joker was now the visage of Darth Shemalyah, the Phoenix Force, Katma Tui, Scar and the Nazgul all attacked the Dark One, shredding her to pieces.

The collective tunnel vision of the Midgets gave the remaining Slave members the opening they needed to end this match once and for all. Jor-El snapped the neck of the Nazgul but was caught in the blast of Katma Tui, whose green lantern blast was too much for him to take, ending his life.

Amazo and Fernus on the other hand, had much better luck. Their powers alone were quite impressive enough, but together, they were almost unbeatable. Katma Tui and Scar sent blast after blast in every direction, but the momentary lapses from their defeat of Shemalyah was still enough time to give the Slaves members the edge in the fight. Both Katma Tui and Scar fell to the powerful Slaves warriors.

With nobody but the Phoenix Force left, the Slaves put all of their power together and finally defeated the Midgets once and for all. Superman and Fernus both finishing up their attacks on the remains of the Phoenix Force, noticed one tiny figure in the distance running towards a phone booth.

Fernus: Want me to take care of it Supes?

Superman looked towards the sky and noticed a friend that he had not seen in some time.

Superman: Nope, I think it is already being taken care of.

Ron Popeil looked ahead as the Tardis sat exactly where he left it. He could hear the X-Wing in the distance, so he ran as quickly as he could, knowing his only chance of survival was getting in the Tardis before Wedge blew it up.

Ron: This is not over yet. As long as I can get to the Tardis I can reset this entire match. This is not over till it’s over. After all, nobody out smarts me.

As Ron opened the door to the Tardis, not only did he see an impossibly big room attached to an object that is one tenth its size, but he also saw the disgustingly large body of the Spiderman Doppelganger. Moments later, the king of infomercial’s body was torn to pieces. The only remaining member of the Midgets left at this point was the Tardis, which was eventually destroyed by a late to the battle Wedge Antilles.

Superman: We have all fought valiantly today my fellow Slaves but this victory is but another stepping stone towards the final goal. We lost a lot of great people today, some for good, so let’s make this victory count and waste not a single moment in our pursuit to the promise land.

George Washington finally makes his way back down towards the ground. He walks over to his remaining teammates and says, “One last fight is all we have, let’s make the most of this is. For and ending, is nothing but a new beginning.”



Sunday, June 19, 2016

Season 9, Round 2 Consolation - TEAM vs Moist Mafia

TEAM is: Mamaw, Papaw, and Bama

Moist Mafia is: Deadeye Duck w/ Red Lightsaber

Atop the Power Tower, Bama is trying to get Deadeye Duck to sign his mint in box, original pressing, ultra rare Deadeye Duck action figure. Deadeye has grown furiously annoyed with Bama who, armed with several different colors of sharpies, is throwing a fit that he not sign it in black.

"I have detailed the exact location that I wish for you to sign above the yellow post it note. Also keep your signature below the blue post it, I do not want too large of a signature." Bama says.

Deadeye Duck is angry but still willing to sign his first ever autograph when Bama sets his bag down on Deadeye Duck's lap. In a fit of rage not seen since Clive Revel, Deadeye ignites his lightsaber and slashes Bama multiple times, sending his parts scattering on the ground below.

"MUH GRAN-BABY!!" cries Mamaw. In a swift act of vengeance, Mamaw reaches over and grabs Papaw's weapon before anyone can react. Only Mamaw knows how to arm and get Papaw's weapon to shoot that quickly. She's been intimately familiar with his weapon for over half a century so she knows a few tricks. In a way, the meat spigot is more hers than his.

The feathers burn quickly and the smell is fowl. The Duck lets out violent screams of pain as the hot gravy has worked its way through his feathers and is now scorching his skin. He writhes in agony and loses his balance. He is still alive during the long fall down and his screams sends the crowd below scattering.

The hard cement is unforgiving; However, from his perspective, it shows him the mercy he desperately desired.

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Season 9 Stan Lee Conference Finals: The Royal Highness vs. Griswold's Nut-busters


Dog eat dog,
Read the news;
Someone win,
Someone lose.
Ups above and downs below,
And limbo's in between;
Up you win,
Down you lose.
It's anybody's game,
Hey, hey, hey,
Every dog has its day;
It's a dog eat dog,
Dog eat.”

           
-AC/DC [Dog Eat Dog]

I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 9 Stan Lee Conference Finals Match located on the Playoff Planet. They are as follows:

The Royal Highness: Mogo (9 death), Lady Q (9 death), Cyborg Doomsday (9 death), Superboy Doomsday (9 death), Fantastic Four ([Assistant Coach] Reed Richards w/Ultimate Nullifier, Invisible Woman, Human Torch, and The Thing) in Anti-Galactus Suit, (Offensive Coordinator) Yoda, (Assistant Coach) Metron (9 death), Ronan the Accuser, Molecule Man, (Head Coach) Batman, Alfred, and Robin (Jason Todd) with blue lightsaber, Elderly Bruce Wayne and dog (9 death for dog) (Batman Beyond), Commissioner Gordon, The Flash (Barry Allen), Blade (Marvel), Agent Smith (Matrix), Emperor Palpatine, Lex Luthor, Sinister Six (minus 1) (Doctor Octopus  (9 death), Electro  (9 death), Vulture (9 death), Hobgoblin  (9 death), Sandman), Sandworm #1A, Maleficient (9 death), Rhas Al Ghul (w/Green Lantern ring) (9 death), Detective Christian Walker and Deena Pilgrim (Powers), Roger Rabbit, Jessica Rabbit and the Batwing, Gungnir (Marvel) (Transforming Helicarrier) and The Revenge (Transformers).

Griswold’s Nut-busters: Galactus, Primus, Onslaught, Doomsday, Slym Dayspring (w/ a green lantern ring (he has 9 deaths)), Redd Dayspring (w/ a green lantern ring (she has 9 deaths)), (Age of Apocalypse) Nightcrawler (w/ a green lightsaber (he has 9 deaths)), (Age of Apocalypse) Blob (he has 9 deaths), Evan Sabahnur (he has 9 deaths), Fantomex in a Fiat C.R. 42 Fighter Plane, Cluster in a Cierva W.9, Weapon XIII (w/ magnoguard electrostaff) in a Bell X-2, Scarlet Witch (w/ 9 deaths), Emma Frost, Dazzler, Black Tom Cassidy, Talon, Batwing and R-4 Unit #3 in a Resistance X-Wing, Star Sapphire #3 (w/ 9 deaths), Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) in an F-22, Teneb Kel and Maggot, Exal Kressh, Dexter Jettster and R-4 Unit #2 in a Resistance X-Wing, HK-47, The Witch King of Angmar (w/ 9 deaths) on his Mordor Horse, Shelob, (Head Coach) Dexter Morgan and his bodyguard Stormtrooper #3 (w/ 9 deaths) in a Y-1300 Light Freighter being piloted by War Skrull #6 (w/ 9 deaths) and Jedi Master #2A (w/ a green lantern ring), Anaksunamun (w/ 9 deaths), Riddick, Kalder, Gotenks (w/ a green lantern ring), Super Shredder (he has 9 deaths), G.W. Bridge in a landmaster, Krayt Dragon #1, Dark Side Adept Kyle Houslander and Dark Side Acolyte Zachary Houslander in a Double Dash Mario Kart and Annoying Orange on an adult sized tricycle.

The Royal Highness Locker Room. . .

Yoda:  Coach Batman - listen to him we will.

Batman:  Do I really need to say anything?

Roger Rabbit:  Pppppppllleease Batman!

Reed Richards:  Batman is a man of few words, but as you know I am not.  This year started with. . .

Human Torch (interrupting Richards): Let’s kick some Nut-buster balls!!!!

The entire Royal Highness team rallies around the Torch’s words. Richards looks somewhat sullen and disappointed that he could not finish his twenty minute diatribe.

Griswold’s Nut-busters Locker Room. . .

The Witch King of Angmar screeches and the entire room becomes silent.

Emma Frost:  The time has come for the Nut-busters to rise to this occasion.

Stormtrooper #3 mutters to himself:  That’s not all that’s on the rise due to Frost’s outfit.

Doomsday:  Death to the Highness!

Fantomex: Death!

Talon: Death!

The repeated word of  “Death” crescendos as the entire locker room erupts in a frenzy.

Let the Battle begin. . .

Water Region. . .

A large mass of buoyed detritus floats in the middle of the Water Region.  The hunter-killer assassin droid, HK-47, stands with Exal Kressh. 

HK-47:  Why have we been teleported to the waters of this planet? It does not compute.

Exal Kressh:  It does not matter.  All that matters is that we defeat who will be teleported here on behalf of the enemy.

HK-47:  My servomotors stand ready.

A flash of intense light bursts in the area and Emperor Palpatine stands among the floatsam.

Palpatine gains hits wits.  Kressh leaps to his piece of jetsam and ignites her lightsaber.  Although taken somewhat unaware, the Sith Lord manages to avoid being sliced in half.  As Palpatine jumps to another piece of floating wreckage, HK-47 fires at the Emperor.  In midair, Palpatine skillfully deflects the bolts with his newly ignited lightsaber. 

Palpatine:  You may both be sufficient in the ways of villainy, but your prowess does not compare to my existence within the Dark Side itself.

Palpatine sheaths his saber and unleashes Force lightning upon Kressh.  The Sith hybrid writhes in pain and screams as she is burned from the inside out.  Bubbles rise to the surface of the water as her body drifts to the waters below. HK-47 manages to fire a few blasts before Palpatine lifts HK-47 off of the debris.  The water engulfs the droid and is sinks below, joining the free-floating body of Kressh. 

Palpatine:  They will have to do better to defeat me. 

Palpatine cackles and begins to Force push himself back to shore.

Forest Region. . .

Black Tom Cassidy muddles through the brush of the Forest Region.  He feels the plant-life around him and gains strength from their essence.  As he turns through a copse of trees and vines, he notices spider webs strung throughout the area.  He accidentally stumbles into a web.  The mutant looks up and sees an immense spider walking down its webbing.

Cassidy:  You’re one ugly mother.

Shelob opens its maw in anticipation of its prey.  As the giant spider traipses down the strands, it fails to notice the vines as they begin to wrap around its limbs.  The vines begin to strangle the spider and they suddenly tighten, ripping the limbs and head off of Shelob’s torso.  Cassidy struggles out of the webs and walks on, victorious for now.

Desert Region. . .

Anaksunamun stands next to Riddick.  The beautiful, Egyptian warrior and space mercenary look at one another.

Riddick:  Right up our alley.

Anaksunamun:  I’m not sure what an alley is, but I’m extremely comfortable in this region.

Riddick: That’s what I said.

The two give each other a look and smile.  The duo are in their element; they are ready to fight.  As they scan the area, they notice a landmaster drive up next to them; it is G.W. Bridge.  The three hear an animal screech.  Krayt Dragon #1 slithers alongside its teammates.  An tornado of sand suddenly rises from the ground and engulfs the four combatants.

Sandman:  You may be used to the desert, but you’re sure not used to me being the sand!

G.W. Bridge unleashes the twin bazookas at the eye of the tornado.  The casings explode and Sandman screams as he is scattered throughout the area; eventually coming together again.  While the four are distracted, the remaining Sinister Six members rush the Nut-busters.  Dr. Octopus’ tentacles rip off the mounted armaments on the landmaster.  Hobgoblin then throws a half dozen pumpkin bombs into the vehicle.  The vehicle explodes, taking G. W. Bridge with its destruction.  Anaksunamun spars with Electro and Electro falls to the ground. 

Electro:  You have a lot of pretty jewelry on Anak.  You know, gold is a great conductor of electricity.

Anaksunamun looks at her body which is covered in gold.  She attempts to shed the jewelry quickly, but without success.  Electro laughs as the electricity rips through the Egyptian’s body.  A singed Anaksunamun falls to the sand.

Riddick grumbles non-intelligent words as he fights with the Vulture.  Vulture attempts to grab the merc, but Riddick slashes the wrists of the Vulture before being reached.  Blood spurts from Vulture’s wrists and the old man eventually bleeds out and dies.  Seeing their mate killed, the four remaining Sinister Six gang up and kill Riddick.  Krayt shuffles over to Doc Ock and Electro.  Sandworm bursts from the ground and wrestles with Krayt Dragon #1 before the Star Wars behemoth is able to rip the duo apart.  The two monstrosities battle, but in the end, Sandworm #1A is victorious.

Water Region. . .

Palpatine lands on the shore.  The Emperor is tired. 

Palpatine:  Finally – land.

Palpatine is engulfed in a bright teleportation light.

Space Region. . .

Rhas Al Ghul flies to Mogo.  Ghul notices Primus heading toward Mogo.

Ghul:  You understand that by doing this you are going to die!?!

The living planet sends a message to Ghul by having its trees bloom.

Ghul:  Live another day?  But you won’t!  You will be sent to the Graveyard!  The Graveyard! 

Mogo’s foliage rattles in response.

Ghul:  You were a true champion on this team.

Ghul flies away, leaving Mogo and Primus.  Mogo shudders when Primus is within 10,000 miles of the planetoid.  Unbeknownst to Primus, Mogo has supercharged his green lantern ring.  Mogo also had hidden the Revenge, which has been set to self destruct, including the placement of all moleculon missiles near the ship’s core.

9,000. . .  8,000. . .  7,0000. . .  6,000. . .  5,000. . .  4,000. . .  3,000. . . 2,000. . . 1,000. . .

An explosion unlike anyone has seen in the FFL is emitted throughout the Space Region of the Playoff Planet.  Entire stars are consumed and spatial rifts emerge as both Mogo and Primus disappear in an instant.  After the flash – nothing in the area remains.

City Region. . . Fawcett Sector. . .

Dark Side Adept Kyle Houslander and Dark Side Acolyte Zachary Houslander ride in a Double Dash Mario Kart while Annoying Orange peddles on an adult sized tricycle.  The trio rides around, looking for trouble.  They bump into their teammates, the Age of Apocalypse Blob and Nightcrawler. 

Annoying Orange: Hey Blob!  You’re so fat you don’t need the internet; you’re already world wide.

Blob incredulously looks down.

Annoying Orange:  Hey Blob!  You’re so fat that when you step on the scale it says ‘To be continued.’

Blob:  Shut up!  You’re on my team too you annoying. . . orange.

Annoying Orange:  Hey Blob!  You’re so fat, if you buy a fur coat an entire species will go extinct!

Blob has had enough and squishes Annoying Orange. 

Nightcrawler:  I know he was annoying, but like you said, he’s on our team.

Blob: Don’t care.  Now he’s on the dead team.

Plains Region. . .

The expanse of the Plains Region is great, allowing the combatants plenty of area to fight.  It is the battle of the Ds as Doomsday battles both Cyborg Doomsday and Superboy Doomsday.

Doomsday:  I am the original.  You are mere copies not worthy of my recognition.

Superboy Doomsday:  We’ll see who’s not worthy of recognition old man.

The Doomsday entities battle against one another in a frenetic cluster of blood, sweat and spit. Although the Royal Highness Doomsdays are pummeling the Nut-buster original, Doomsday still manages to ultimately destroy Cyborg Doomsday.

Doomsday:  As I said, a mere copy.

Superboy Doomsday takes advantage of the damage the original has taken, especially with his immediate fight with Cyborg Doomsday. 

Superboy Doomsday:  It is time for someone else to carry on the name.

Doomsday smiles: And that shall be the original.

Doomsday comes upon Superboy Doomsday and places him in a sleeper hold, eventually breaking the copy’s neck.  A wearied Doomsday turns and is immediately struck by Ronan the Accuser’s universal weapon.  A stunned Doomsday slowly rises from his knees.  Ronan the Accuser is then joined by Molecule Man.  Ronan’s weapon’s cosmic energy rips through Doomsday and these power are enhanced by the Molecule Man.  Doomsday looks to the Highness duo.

Doomsday:  Congratulations for doing that which no imitation could.

Doomsday shudders and falls to the ground, dead.

City Region. . . Metropolis Sector. . .

Detective Christian Walker and Deena Pilgrim slowly walk down the street with both Roger Rabbit and Jessica Rabbit.

Roger Rabbit:  Ppppplllleeeaaassee Eddy!

Walker:  Stop calling me Eddy already!  Name is Walker.

Pilgrim:  It’s a nervous bunny thing Walker.  Give the rabbit a break.

Walker:  If he doesn’t shut up, that’s not all that is going to be given a break.

The four return to their task of scanning for the enemy.

Emma Frost and Dazzler step from a storefront.  Dazzler immediately hits the four with her mutant abilities and the lights blind both Walker and Pilgrim.

Roger Rabbit: Such pretty sparkles!

Frost turns into her diamond form and in an instant, uses both hands to pierce the chests of Roger and Jessica Rabbit.

Walker and Pilgrim focus on the mutant duo and begin to fire their weapons.  Both Dazzler and Frost scurry out of the way.  The detective duo hears a sound behind them.  In tandem, the two turn around.  Before their weapons are fired, Walker is killed by Slym Dayspring and Pilgrim is killed by Redd Dayspring.

Air Region. . .

Lex Luthor and Lady Q ride Gungnir.  The Nut-busters set upon Gungnir with all of their flying vehicles - Fantomex in a Fiat C.R. 42 Fighter Plane, Cluster in a Cierva W.9, Weapon XIII in a Bell X-2, Batwing and R-4 Unit #3 in a Resistance X-Wing, Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) in an F-22, Dexter Jettster and R-4 Unit #2 in a Resistance X-Wing, (Head Coach) Dexter Morgan and his bodyguard Stormtrooper #3 in a Y-1300 Light Freighter being piloted by War Skrull #6 and Jedi Master #2A.

Luthor:  It is fine to have such an able bodied and superior minded participant in this portion of the battle with me.

Lady Q:  I agree Luthor. 

The two stand in the ship and watch the fireworks around same.  The battlements of Gungnir hold, while the targeting systems facilitate the staccato destruction of the Nut-busters’ ships.  Although Gungnir takes damage due to the sheer number of the enemies’ fighters, it still stands at the end of the skirmish.  The entire Nut-buster fleet of vehicles is destroyed; the devastation and smoke shattering the sky around the battle.  The one positive note concerning the skirmish for the Nut-busters is the fact that, like a fight in G.I. Joe, no one living dies.  Thus, Fantomex, Cluster, Weapon XIII, Batwing, GL Hal Jordan, Dexter Jettster, Dexter Morgan, Stormtrooper #3, War Skrull #6 and Jedi Master #2A survive; R-4 Units #2 and 3 are not as lucky.  While floating down in their various escape devices, they are teleported to additional sections of the Playoff Planet.

Luthor:  Another victory for Luthor. . . and for Lady Q, of course.

Galactus sets upon the scene and the smiles of both Luthor and Lady Q disintegrate. 

Galactus: . . . Albeit a short lived victory at that.

Just as Gungnir begins its transformation, with the powers cosmic at full force, Galactus rips into and destroys Gungnir.  Luthor and Lady Q scream in agony as they are ripped apart within.

Water Region. . .

Emperor Palpatine lands in the detritus of the waters, once again.

Emperor Palpatine:  Oh, come on!

Yoda:  No longer against one another we are. Now with you shall you fight. 

Emperor Palpatine:  We shall.

The duo focuses on a flotation device which contains the newly arrived Dexter Morgan, Stormtrooper #3, War Skrull #6 and Jedi Master #2A.  Jedi Master #2A ignites his lightsaber and clashes with Emperor Palpatine.  Palpatine easily dispatches with the master, but it takes longer then expected since Jedi Master #2A not only used his lightsaber, but his green lantern ring also.  The Emperor balls his hands into fists and shoots lighting at Dexter Morgan. 

Stormtrooper #3:  My love!!!!

Stormtrooper #3 leaps in front of Morgan just as the serial killer was to be hit by the Sith’s lightning.  The lightning rushes through Stormtrooper #3 and he falls to the ground.  Dexter Morgan cradles Stormtrooper #3’s head.  Dexter Morgan actually has a tear in his eye.

Morgan:  Let me see your face.

Morgan takes off the helmet and winces.

Morgan:  Better keep that on.

Morgan puts the helmet back on Stormtrooper #3’s face and is skewered by Yoda’s lightsaber. 

Yoda:  With him you are now.  Together, in each other’s arms you will spend eternity.

War Skrull #6 is then killed by the combined efforts of both the Jedi and Sith working together.

Palpatine:  Back to shore. . .

Forest Region. . .

Black Tom Cassidy walks through the foliage to see teammates, Talon and Scarlet Witch.

Talon:  About time you made it.

Cassidy:  Listen, I just killed a heckuvah big spider back there.

Scarlet Witch shudders: I hate spiders!

Cassidy:  What are you two doing?

Talon: We thought we saw Metron out here.

Cassidy instantly is on the defensive, waiting for Metron to appear.  Suddenly, a red blur comes to the scene and a crack is heard as Cassidy’s neck is broken by the Flash.

Metron:  My superior intellect knew that if you were looking for me alone, you would fail to see the friend.

Talon enters into hand-to-hand combat with Metron, who is adept at that skill set also.  Metron bests Talon after a lengthy skirmish.  Scarlet Witch stands alone.

Scarlet Witch:  I’ve bested my brother, Quicksilver; you should be no more than he.

Before the Flash can react and race away, Scarlet Witch stops the Flash in place.  With a twist of her wrists, the Flash’s body becomes puddy.  The Scarlet Witch then reaches out again and the Flash’s body becomes rigid.  The Flash’s body cannot take the strain that is imposed upon it by Wanda; his healing powers cannot compensate for the demands and he succumbs to these rigors, dying at the hands of the witch.   

Desert Region. . .

Sandworm #1A slithers on the surface of the sands in the region.  It fails to notice huge pieces of Mogo, Primus and the Revenge before they fall from the sky, killing the Dune inhabitant.

Plains Region. . .

Maleficent faces Star Sapphire #3.

Maleficent:  I love a strong female, even a common.

Star Sapphire #3:  I hate talking.

Star Sapphire immediately encases Maleficent in a green bubble.  Maleficent scans the bubble and the evil fairy waves her hand. The bubble pops. 

Maleficent then moves the earth upward.  Although Star Sapphire #3 reacts in time, he body is still somewhat shattered with the rocks and debris.  Not mortally wounded, Star Sapphire #3 still crawls on the ground injured.

Maleficent:  Another morsel.

Maleficent changes into a black dragon and her maw chomps down on Star Sapphire #3, who is too injured to react in time.

City Region. . . Gotham Sector. . .

Batman and Robin (Jason Todd) slowly tread down the streets of the Gotham sector.  Batman has his batarang out while Robin ignites his blue lightsaber.  Joining the dynamic duo are Elderly Bruce Wayne and his dog, as well as Commissioner Gordon.  The Batwing flies to the scene, hovering over the group, flown by Alfred.   

Robin:  There are only two.

Batman:  Two is enough in this case.  Cover!!!!

The Highness scatter as both Onslaught and Evan Sabahnur ease on down the road.

Onslaught sends a psionic blast at the Batwing and the ship explodes.  Alfred was not lucky enough to take advantage of the “G.I. Joe” moment from the Air Region of the Playoff Planet occurring earlier in the match; he is dead.

Evan Sabahnur focuses on Elderly Bruce Wayne and his dog.  Sabahnur chases the two down into an alleyway.  The two stand their ground against the young mutant.  The dog stands in front of its master.

Sabahnur:  Isn’t that beautiful.  A faithful pet willing to sacrifice itself for its master.

Sabahnur’s eyes glow red.  Both Elderly Bruce Wayne and his dog lower themselves to the ground.  They cuddle and die together.

Sabahnur:  A beautiful thing. . .

Meanwhile, Onslaught destroys Commissioner Gordon without much fanfare.  Onslaught is then joined by Sabahnur.  Batman and Robin come from a building, armor encasing the duo.  

Onslaught: What one Earth 616 made you think armor was a good idea?

Onslaught and his psi armor takes on Batman.  The two engage in a knockdown, drag-out skirmish, but ultimately the human being is no match for the enhanced mutant.  As Bane did to Batman at one time, Onslaught raised Batman above his head and slams the caped crusader’s body over his knee; this time though, his back is not broken, but his entire body is ripped in half.  Robin screams and rushes Onslaught, his blue lightsaber out.  Sabahnur uses his mutant ability to kill the boy wonder before reaching his partner’s killer.

Sabahnur:  Score: Six – mutants;  Humans- none.

Space Region. . .

Nothingness is felt amongst the lack of stars due to the decimation wrought by the previous fight.  Galactus has decided to make this area his place to watch the battle below.  He is suddenly set upon by Reed Richards in the Anti-Galactus suit.  Watching on the Playoff Planet below, are Mr. Fantastic’s teammates.

Human Torch:  He has to win!

The Thing:  At one billion dollars per second, he better or the Highness will go bankrupt.

Invisible Woman:  Come on, Reed.

Richards and Galactus spar for what seems to be an eternity, but is only a matter of minutes.  Thus, the Highness is only 180 billion dollars in the hole to the FFL Bank of Scheming.  A huge eruption occurs and Galactus is killed.  The suit is damaged beyond repair, so Reed leaves it drifting in the atmosphere around the Playoff Planet.

City Region. . . Star City Sector. . .

Kalder, Gotenks, Super Shredder, Teneb Kel and Maggot walk together.

Teneb Kel ignites his lightsaber: I feel them; they will appear any second.

Blade, Agent Smith, along with Doctor Octopus, Electro,  Hobgoblin and Sandman are flown by Rhas Al Ghul’s green lantern ring to the Star City Sector.  Each Higness combatant lands on the ground, ready to fight. 

Teneb Kel and Maggot fight with the Foul Four.  Maggot is immediately surrounded by Sandman and finished off by Hobgoblin.  Teneb Kel manages to not only cut through the tentacles of Doc Ock, but also decapitates Spiderman’s nemesis in the process.  Electro reacts and electrifies Kel, who drops to the ground a deadened husk of ash.

A bamf is heard and AoA Nightcrawler and Blob arrive at the scene.  Blade unsheathes the two swords located on his back.

Blade: You’re dead vampire.

Nightcrawler:  I’m not a vampire. 

The two battle one another in a vicious sword fight without one gaining the upper hand over the other.  Eventually though, Nightcrawler bamfs behind the vampire hunter and skewers Blade through the heart. 

Gotenks enters into a skirmish with Agent Smith.  Although Gotenks holds his own, the warped reality created by Agent Smith is too much for the Dragon Ball Z fighter, even with his green lantern ring.  Gotenks is killed in the melee.  Meanwhile, Kalder fights Rhas Al Ghul and is unsuccessful in his attempts to kill the green lantern enhanced villain.  AoA Blob joins the fray and assists Kalder, Ghul’s ring is not enough to protect him from the combined strength of the two and Ghul dies.

Super Shredder focuses on the Hobgoblin and manages to take out the masked marauder’s glider and then kill the villain in one action.  Super Shredder is then ripped apart by the combined efforts of Electro and the Sandman.

AoA Nightcrawler, AoA Blob and Agent Smith fight the standing Highness combatants of Electro and the Sandman.  The Highness’ luck runs out in this skirmish as the final two Sinister Six move to the FFL Graveyard.

City Region. . . Bama Sector. . .

The desolate cityscape will hold the final battle between the two teams. 

The remaining Royal Highness of Reed Richards,  Invisible Woman, Human Torch, The Thing), Yoda, Metron, Ronan the Accuser, Molecule Man, Agent Smith, Emperor Palpatine and Maleficient stand together.

Across the beaten path, the remaining Nut-busters of Onslaught, Slym Dayspring, Redd Dayspring, (Age of Apocalypse) Nightcrawler, (Age of Apocalypse) Blob, Evan Sabahnur, Fantomex Cluster, Weapon XIII, Scarlet Witch, Emma Frost, Dazzler, Batwing, Green Lantern (Hal Jordan), Dexter Jettster, The Witch King of Angmar on his Mordor Horse, and Dark Side Adept Kyle Houslander with Dark Side Acolyte Zachary Houslander in a Double Dash Mario Kart hold firm.

The Houslanders immediately take the offensive and rush their Mario Kart at the Higness crew; their lightsabers are ignited, ready for action.  Palpatine stands in front of the vehicle and looks incredulously at the duo racing toward his team.

Palpatine:  Oh, if you were only on my team.  I would have much to teach you and be honored to do so.

The Houslanders scream as they are ready to strike the Emperor.

Palpatine:  But you are not.

Palpatine spins and decapitates the Houslanders as they ride by.  The Double Dash Mario Kart crashes into a bunch of trash cans near the scene.

The Witch King of Angmar’s horse rises and whinnies in anticipation of its necessity in battle.  The Witch King unsheathes its sword and screeches.  Maleficent walks toward the Tolkien villain.  Maleficent immediately casts a spell, disintegrating the horse.  The Witch King falls from his steed and the two fantastical villains face one another.  The spells fly at one another, but in the end the Witch King is triumphant.  The Witch King raises its sword above its head. 

The Thing:  It’s clobberin’ time!

The Thing strikes the Witch King, who crumples to the floor at the impact.  The King is then struck by the intense fiery blasts of the Human Torch.  The Witch King screams and lashes out at the Thing.  The Thing is struck down, but slowly rises.  The Invisible Woman creates a bauble around the King and the Molecule Man joins the fray.

Molecule Man:  May I, Sue?

Invisible Woman:  You may, Owen.

The Molecule Man manipulates the molecules in the bauble and the Witch King explodes.    

Metron and Batwing spar with one another. 

Metron:  I am your superior, human.

Batwing:  We’ll see about that.

The two fight with one another and although Batwing manages to hurt the New God, Metron uses his universal knowledge of fighting skills to defeat and kill Batwing. Green Lantern, Scarlet Witch and Evan Sabahnur join the fray after watching their teammate die.  Without the Mobius Chair, Metron is unable to defray the battle forced upon him by the three enemy.  Ultimately, Metron falls, but takes Hal Jordan with him in death.

Fantomex and Cluster join Weapon XIII, who has pulled his magnoguard electrostaff out.  The trio faces Agent Smith.  Agent Smith’s moves and abilities mirror those of the three Nut-busters.  The skilled mutants manage to repeatedly beat upon and injure Agent Smith, but his Matrix abilities regenerate each time the mutants are in a position of power.  Ronan the Accuser walks toward the four fighting each other.

Ronan the Accuser:  This is a waste of time.

Ronan gathers the powers cosmic in his utility weapon and unleashes its ferocity at the four.  The four are shredded apart and while the others’ essences are being dissolved, Agent Smith becomes whole again.

Agent Smith:  It was the only logical choice.

Ronan:  It was not logical, it was merely a means to an end.  It became tiresome to watch.

Emma Frost: As do the two of you.

Frost comes to the scene with Dazzler and Scarlet Witch.

Dazzler transforms the sounds into light waves that temporarily blind both Agent Smith and Ronan.  The Scarlet Witch and Emma Frost hit Agent Smith with their telekinetic abilities and Agent Smith’s face becomes a blank stare as his being is jumbled by the duo.  Agent Smith explodes.  Ronan reacts and points his weapon at the two women.

Scarlet Witch:  Not so fast!

Scarlet Witch pulls the weapon from Ronan’s hand.  Ronan rushes at the Avenger but is stopped by a diamond Emma Frost. 

Frost:  Not so big and bad without your weapon, are you?

Emma and Wanda pin Ronan to the ground with their abilities.  The Invisible Woman, Human Torch and the Thing attempt to save their teammate Ronan and are successful.  Ronan rises and calls for his universal weapon.  In the meantime, the Human Torch dispels with Dazzler.  There is a lengthy fight, but the enhanced weapon of Ronan tips the scales to the Highness.  The Thing is killed by Emma Frost, who is, in turn, killed by the Torch and Ronan.  Wanda is set upon by the entire Highness combatants, but manages to mortally wound Invisible Woman before her death.  Reed Richards sees his beloved struck and rushes by her side.

Invisible Woman:  For the Highness, Reed.  For. . . The. . . Highness. . .

Reed Richards looks to the sky and shouts at the top of his lungs in agony.  The Human Torch de-ignites his hand and places it on Reed’s shoulder.

Yoda and Palpatine stand together, once again.  In front of them stand Slym Dayspring, Redd Dayspring, AoA Nightcrawler and Blob and Evan Sabahnur. 

Yoda:  A test of our skills, this is.

Palpatine:  Let us even the field immediately.

With the use of the Force, the Sith rips off the green lantern rings on both the hands of Slym and Redd. 

AoA Blob shambles over to the duo.  Thinking that the lightsabers will not harm the behemoth is a mistake as Yoda and Palpatine slice chunks out of the Blob.  Blob is eventually dissected piece by piece and AoA Blob falls to the ground dead.  AoA Nightcrawler teleports next to Palpatine and is about the skewer the Sith Lord when Palpatine instantly turns around and grabs the mutant by the throat before he can use his lightsaber against Force wielder.  Palpatine cackles as he squeezes the life’s essence from Nightcrawler.

Palpatine:  Did you really think you could sneak up behind me?!?!

Nightcrawler smiles:  Nope.  Just distract you.

As Nightcrawler dies, the full powers of Redd and Slym Dayspring strike Palpatine. Palpatine screams and dies.  Yoda turns to his Sith partner and shakes his head in dismay.

Yoda:  An alley you did become.  A true warrior you were.  Your death in vain will it not be. 

Yoda ignites his lightsaber and motions for the mutant duo to come to him.  The battle is intense as the diminutive Jedi Knight fights for his life against the two, but ultimately (and somewhat miraculously) Yoda is victorious at the end of the melee.  The bodies of both Slym and Redd are crumpled on the ground.  Yoda slowly walks away and his body is pulled apart without anyone being near him.  Onslaught moves from the shadows.

Evan Sabahnur:  Nice work, my friend.

Onslaught:  Yoda has been a thorn in everyone’s side at one time or another.  He needed to be removed from this fight, on my terms.

The Nut-buster mutant duo face Richards, Molecule Man, Ronan and the Human Torch.  It is only a matter of minutes before the Human Torch is killed by Evan.  The Molecule Man pushes his abilities to the limit and Evan responds in kind.  The Molecule Man drops to the ground, as does Sabahnur.  Ronan takes advantage of his enemy’s fall and strikes the mutant with his weapon, crushing the skull of the young man.  Onslaught reacts and blasts a psionic wave, crushing Ronan.  Onslaught focuses on the Molecule Man.  The two fight with one another when Reed Richards stands tall with the ultimate nullifier in his hands.

Richards:  For Sue. . .

Richards blasts the ultimate nullifier at Onslaught, who was focused on the Molecule Man.  Onslaught screams as the nullifier rips the mutant apart.  Richards walks toward the Molecule Man; blood is dripping from his mouth and ears.

Molecule Man:  We did it Reed.  We did it.

Richards:  You did it Owen.  I’m proud of you.  The entire Royal Highness is proud of you.

Owen Reece dies with a smile on his face.