Play-Offs Round 1

Setting: The Play-Off Planet
Points: 750
Prize: A Star Destroyer
Match-ups:

2. Striders of Rohan Vs. 3. Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assasins
-Watcher: Old Man Parks
-Winner faces 1. TEAM


2. The Gender Neutral Group of Misunderstood Little People Vs. 3. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions
-Watcher: Young Zack the Magnificent
-Winner faces 1. The Dramatic Kitten Sisters of Luna

Consolation Round 1: ROYAL RUMBLE

All consolation teams will submit 20 points worth of characters, for a an all out Battle Royal in an over-sized ring surrounded by liquid hot magma.

Squads are required from:
-TEAM
-Two Hungry Dinomites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight
-Be Gentle It's My First Time
-Better Than All of You
-George Washington's House Elves
-The Dramatic Kitten Sisters of Luna
-John and Vader's House of Sith Aids
-The Empire

Prize: A Two Seat Y-Wing (to be awarded to 6 of the 12 teams)

TEAM Vs. Two Hungry Dinomites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight

TEAM is Grey Jedi Master Josh Houslander, Laya Houslander: Jedi Knight, Alex Houslander: Young Jedi Knight, Scarlet Houslander: Jedi Padawan, and Grayson Houslander: Jedi Youngling, Mike Tyson, Steven Segal, The Rat Pack: Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Peter Lawford, and Joey Bishop, and Dr. Robotnik.

Two Hungry Dinomites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are: Snake Eyes and Daredevil.


It was the best party they had ever had at the grand ole Houslander Apartment. Everybody was having a great time. Laya was playing the piano while Josh pretended to know what he was doing on the Mandolin in the background while Frank and Dean serenaded the place. Segal even let his hair down and let Sammy show him some dance moves. Old Steve had no idea that a black, Jewish guys could have such skill. Cultural tolerance win for the day!! Alex, Scarlet, Robotnik, and Lawford were engaged in an intense Mario Kart battle, while Grayson was using his super strong arms in an arm wrestling match with Tyson. Joey Bishop was the ref, giving hilarious play by play. A great time was being had by all until they remembered one thing...... They forgot to invite Daredevil and Snake Eyes. Josh swears that he did invite them, they just didn't get the invitation. Or maybe they did get it, but Daredevil didn't see it, and Snake Eyes wouldn't tell him about it (you guys getting these nerd jokes?? Still with me??).

Either way, the duo wasn't happy and burst through the door of the apartment looking for a fight. Segal and Tyson, their fighter instinct taking over, instantly jump into action looking to defend the home. Tyson comes in fast with a hard right hand, connecting on Daredevil, but Daredevil is actually able to take the punch from Tyson and stay on his feet. Matt Murdock then leaps behind Iron Mike, preferring to not stand toe to toe with the champion and wraps his Billy-club-grappling-rope contraption around the neck of Mike and chokes the life out of him. Steven Segal grabs a kitana blade out of the closet and attacks Snake Eyes, Segal is able to hang with the ninja master for a few seconds, but eventually finds himself at the wrong end of The infamous GI Joe blade.

Josh gathers his four kids into Laya and Scarlet's room at the back of the apartment and gives them strict orders. “After I walk out, barricade this door. And if we can't defeat the two Dinomites, then Force leap out of the window and get yourselves to safety. The match doesn't matter. Just save yourselves”. Josh says.

“The match always matters Pops”. Alex replies.

“Just do what you're told Young Jedi” Josh assures his son.

Josh then runs out the door to join the battle in progress.The Rat Pack, who have all pulled old nickel plated revolvers out of their suit coats have kept the Dinomites at bay for a little while Dr. Robotnik begins to convert all of the retro video games, audio equipment, and VHS tapes into the types of weapons of war that keep Beto O Rourke up at night. Daredevil fights off the many mini robot gadgets, while simultaneously dodging bullets from the Rat Pack; but the little robots stop once Snake Eyes, sheaths his sword for a moment and puts a hollow point (err, I mean green laser blast that is safe for children to see) between the eyes of the guy who is not called Eggman, should never be called Eggman, and SHALL NEVER be called Eggman.

Meanwhile, back in the bedroom Laya and Alex are arguing over what they should do, while Scarlet and Grayson, ready to follow their older siblings await a decision. “WE NEED TO WIN THIS MATCH LAYA. IT'S NOT EVEN A RETREAT WEEK”. Says Alex.

“Dad told us what we needed to do. We'll escape out the window and try to get away” Says Laya.

“But Dad always says not to try, but to do”. Grayson chimes in.

The argument continues between Laya and Alex, when Scarlet finally stops them: She says: “Hey Laya, since when do you and Dat ever listen to Daddy anyway”??

With that comment, Laya and Alex both ignite their lightsabers and slice through the barricade that they had made for the door, busting back into the hallway. They get out there to see that Daredevil has single-handedly taken out all of the Rat Pack (their aim with those revolvers kinda sucked and not one of them brought a speed-changer). On the other side of the living room Josh and Snake Eyes are engaged in a pitched sword battle, with the well-forged blade of Snake Eyes actually staying in tact while parrying the lightsaber swings from Josh. But once Daredevil diverts his attention to that battle Josh cannot focus his attention where it fully needed to be. Daredevil knocks the Purple Lightsaber from the left hand of Josh with his weapon and the four Jedi kids enter the room just in time to see Snake Eyes send his blade into the chest of their Dad. Grayson screams “NOOOOO” and lets a slight bit of anger show as he ignites his Double-Bladed lightsaber and rushes at Snake Eyes powered by the strongest legs ever (especially the top part of his legs). Snake Eyes dodges out of the way and attempts to attack Grayson; but Alex is there and blocks the attack with his Blue lightsaber. Snake Eyes goes on the offensive against Alex, but the Young Jedi's flawless Form Three execution calmly blocks every swing of Snake Eyes' blade. Over by the kitchen, Scarlet is leaping around in a flurry of Form Four acrobatic moves, that get the strange weapon of Daredevil tangled and discombobulated. This confusion allows for Laya to hit the Defender/Secret Avenger with a powerful Force push that send him into the wall and knocks several vintage action figures to the ground. Daredevil is exhausted from following Scarlet and has the wind knocked out of him from hitting the wall, when he says: “I wasn't expecting such an attack from those so young”.

“Let's just call it home field advantage” Laya says as she rushes at him with Jedi Speed. In the blink of an eye, faster than Murdock's sixth sense (or is it a fifth sense) can kick in he feels both the white and yellow blades of Laya from the front and the green saber of Scarlet from behind enter his chest.

Snake Eyes remains on the offensive against Alex, over by the entry door when Grayson jumps onto the retro stereo system and from the highground throws his double-bladed lightsaber at Snake Eyes. The GI Joe begins to divert his attention towards the incoming projectile; but before he can even complete his swing, Alex has already taken advantage of the opening and relieved Snake Eyes of his head.

Josh lay dying on the floor as he breaks the fourth wall, going in and out as Grey Jedi Master and Watcher of the League...... With his dying breath he says: “You needed this win kids, good job. I love that you never listen”......

The Striders of Rohan Vs. Be Gentle It's My First TIme

The Striders of Rohan are Wolverine (w/ a red lantern ring), Jedi Master #1, 5-8, Fedayeen #1, and Samwise Gamgee (w/ a blue lantern ring).

Be Gentle It's My First Time is Task Master (w/ a yellow lantern ring) and Gohan.


Josh's apartment is an absolute wreck (I mean, worse than usual). As if four kids wasn't enough to destroy a groudy, Westland apartment try a bunch of super heroes getting rowdy and trying to kill each other. Josh's sick VHS collection, wicked CD collection, and all of the vintage action figures on the wall have been destroyed by this epic close quarters, melee battle between Gentle and The Striders. The monetary loss of all of Josh's belongings is intense and could even be upwards of seven dollars.

The Jedi Masters, whose Force powers are at a maximum as they are all at the end of their lives, which were spent devoted to the Jedi art of The Force lead the attack against Gohan with Blue Lantern Sam and Steve the Fedayeen joining them. Gohan is trying to go Super Saiyan, but he can't because every time he starts to scream, the women in the apartment below start knocking on the door telling him to quiet down. Gohan is able to crack the necks of Sam and Steve though, simply with some swift anime spin kicks, before the Jedi Masters combine and focus their Force powers on Gohan, bringing his power level almost down to zero. But Gohan goes back, trying to pump his power level back up and blows the minds of all the Jedi Masters accept J.M. #1 who draws inward and stay alive. The sole surviving Jedi cuts off the head of the exhausted Gohan, but is then stabbed in the back from the blade of Taskmaster who is about to square off against Wolverine.....

A pitched battle commences as Wolverine with his claws and Taskmaster with his sword move towards each other at breakneck speed. At first Wolverine is on the offensive, but Taskmaster quickly adapts and perfects Logan's technique and turns the tides. Taskmaster has a few scratches on him, but has landed several blows on Wolverine that would debilitate a normal combatant. Wolvie on the other hand barely seems slowed by them though. Taskmaster goes in for a killing blow headshot, but Wolverine manages to use his samurai training, rather than his typical brawling technique to partially duck out of the way just in time. Wolverine, then takes advantage of the over-zealous attack and delivers his claws into the under-side of Taskmaster's chin. Up close and personal now, Wolverine whispers: “Decent copycat, but there is only one guy who is the best at what I do, Bub”......

Season X Week 9: Tiny Deranged Lesbian Midgets vs. Vader's Sith Aids

Midgets are: X-23,  Walker Texas Ranger (w/ Blue Lightsaber)

Sith Aids are: Darth Vader (w/ Red Lantern Ring)

The three combatants are dropped into the match at the same moment and immediately Walker and Vader begin to duel with their lightsabers. X-23 tries to bum rush the Sith lord but Vader uses the force to pull all the VHS tapes out of every nook and cranny of the apartment and send them back at the superhero like a shotgun blast of outdated technology. She lies on the ground stunned for a moment.

The duel continues and although Superman wears Chuck Norris PJs to bed, the dark one is not swayed by internet meme magic no matter how many fists come out of his beard. Walker is clearly out dueled and knows this will not last long. His saber is flung from his hand with the stronger swipe from Vader. Walker quickly draws his firearm and aims for the eye in Vader's helmet, assuming it is the weak point. Using his red lantern ring he is able to hold Walker in a construct of a fist. A fist even bigger than his 501 Vader's Fist cosplay nerds are douchey.

"If you strike me down, I shall beco--" moans Walker as Vader crushes him to death within the construct.

"Yeah, I heard that one before" Vader grumbles.

Jumping in on the attack as Walker dies is X-23 with the dropped lightsaber trying to take advantage of the distraction. Vader is quick to feel the shift in the force and grabs her by the left arm holding the saber just as she tries to land the killing blow. She gargles for breath as Vader's force chokes her and she can feel her chest fight for air that isn't coming. In a fight for life, the lightsaber drops from her outstretched arm.

Vader begins to say something witty but before he can, the falling lightsaber is grabbed by X-23's free hand and ignites through his torso.

Season 10, Week 9: Better Than All Of You vs. Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins

Better Than All Of You are: Black Panther, Shuri, Okoye, Nakia, M’Baku, Hulk Hogan, and Predators #13-15

Ahsoka’s Acrobatic Assassins are: Spider Woman, Ethan Hunt w/ Indigo Lantern Ring, and Elves #1-4


Finally, after ten long seasons of Fantasy Fantasy action, it comes to this. It is, perhaps, the most pivotal match in the history of this great League. Two teams, one apartment, and no time for losers. Who will walk away as the undisputed champions of Season X? Who will be dragged away in several Hefty trash bags, guaranteed to contain blood and viscera better than store brand?

Outside the door to Josh’s apartment, Better Than All Of You plans their grand entrance. Black Panther holds an ear to the wall. “Do you hear anything, brother?” asks Shuri. “It sounds like… television. Television and girlish sobbing?” M’Baku raises an eyebrow, skeptical. “Are you certain you’ve got the right apartment, T’Challa?” A geriatric Hulk Hogan shoves his way past the Wakandans and invisible space monsters on his team. “Well I’ll tell you what I hear, BROTHER. I hear a grown man dressed as a kitty cat is pussyfooting around in the hallway, and HULKAMANIA don’t feel like running MILD today!” With his expertise in WWE breakaway prop doors, Hogan throws his weight into the apartment door. He crashes to the ground along with it, writhing in pain as his brittle hip shatters. T’Challa and Okoye are the first through the door, fighting stances ready for whatever dastardly trap the Assassins have prepared.

Earlier, Spider-Woman and Ethan Hunt sat down on the couch in front of the TV. One Elf stood beside the screen, two more at the end of the hallway, and one by the dining table. Spider-Woman flipped through channels before settling on one. “Here we go, The Notebook. Have you seen this one? It should be perfect.” Ethan looked deeply uncomfortable. “I don’t know, Jessica, are you sure about this? Is there even a motorcycle chase, or any explosions? It seems kinda gay. I’m not gay, I swear to you, I love women. Your uh… your butt is totally more rockin’ than a man’s chiseled, muscular- I’M NOT GAY!” She laid a hand on his shoulder, her expression one of concerned sympathy. “Of course not, Tom- er, Ethan. You’re a man’s man. Let’s just give this a try, though, that ring might be the strongest thing about our lineup this week.”

As the Betters burst through the door, the Assassins’ Elves let loose with a suppressing fire of arrows. Black Panther and Okoye were prepared, and they knocked away the arrows as they came. Ethan Hunt remained on the couch, weeping openly and hugging a pillow in the fetal position. As Okoye began to move toward the crying man, a sudden surge of fear washed over her. From the ceiling above them, Spider-Woman’s potent pheromones wafted down and hit the nostrils of her enemies as she swooped through the doorway. Nakia and Shuri, frozen in terror, were taken by surprise as Spider-Woman tackled them, each hand delivering a lethal dose of bioelectricity to the two Wakandan women. Enraged, T’Challa dove into the room, fighting solo with the four Elves, as Okoye overcame her fear and joined M’Baku in the hallway. Spider-Woman used her formidable dexterity to the fullest, dodging gorilla-strength fists, spear attacks, and Predator wrist-blades. M’Baku, still under the effects of her pheromones, got caught staring at Spider-Woman’s other formidable assets and was punished by another fatal venom blast. “Ethan! How’s it going in there, buddy?” Between sobs, Ethan cried out to her, “She remembered him, Jessica, she remembered the story in the notebook! Oh god, he just loved her so much!” His ring’s dim glow slowly began to grow in intensity. T’Challa finished off the Elves and joined his team in the hall. Spider-Woman’s luck ran out when one of the Predators fired his net gun, sending her to the floor. Okoye’s spear ran through her throat, and the surviving Wakandans turned to the room to finish off Ethan. As they approached, his bitter bawling reached a crescendo, and his ring glowed with a blinding Indigo light. Fueled by compassion, not only for Ryan Gosling but for the pain of all who were lost in the fight, the ring finally gathered enough power to activate teleportation.

The lava of Mount Doom engulfed the Wakandans and predators, while Ethan Hunt broke down on the rim of the volcano above. “I’M SO SORRY, EVERYONE! Oh, GOD, why do we keep fighting like this?! I just want to be loved the way Noah loved Allie!”