Friday, April 14, 2023

The Diddlers Vs. David BYRNE'S MEAT Suits

 Your vote has been requested for the following epic battle:


The Diddlers are Gandalf the White, Aquaman, Emperor Palpatine, Emperor Palpatine's Shuttle, The Guardians of the Galaxy: Star Lord, Gamora, Drax the Destroyer, Groot, Rocket Raccoon, Nebula, and Mantis, Iron Man, Adam Warlock, War Machine, Paul Maud Dib, Darth Bane, Jean Grey, Ice Man, Cyclops, Beast, and Archangel, The Red Lotus: Zaheer, Ghazan, P'Li, Ming Hua, Syndicate Maul, Naruto, T-1000, Loki, Shockwave, The Wampa, Autobot #1-3, Chinese I-Phone Factory Worker #1 in a Chinese Spy Balloon, Nick Hutchins w/ a BFG, and Donald Trump in a Penguin Suit.


David BYRNE'S MEAT Suits are Deadpool, Freddy Krueger, Benedict Arnold, Gary Habkirk, The Simpsons: Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie w/ Santa's Little Helper, The Noid, Air Bender #1-4, Yokkon, Pounce and Wingspan, Kosa-Yin Hadu, Pikachu, Nazgul #6 on Fell Beast, Omnius, Shao Kahn, Bolin, Maku, Pabu, Piplup, Unalaq, Desna, Eska, The Comedian, Nite-Owl, Silk Spectre, Ozymandias, and Rorschach, Denethor, Cody Jones, Sagat, Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, Capt. Caveman, Fred Rogers, Uruk Hai #1-10, Junkeon #1-10, Storm Trooper #1-5, Rocky Balboa, Vladimir Harkonen, Joe Biden, Easterling #1-10, Pee Wee Herman, Boss Nass, Capt.  Tarpals, The Jar Jar Heads (Elite group of Marine Gungans (Captain, Lt., 2nd Lt., Sgt., Corporal, Lance Corporal, Pvt. First Class, and 3 privates)),  and Gungan Soldier #1-10, Magwai #1-10, Norman Rockwell (w/ blue lightsaber), Robert Oswald, Bill and Hillary Clinton, Abe Lincoln, Big Bird and Snuffalufagus, Pope Emeritus Benedict in a suit of armor, Lewis and Clark w/ Saccajewa, Sandy from Sandy's, The Creeper, Serena & Manion Butler, Dr. Robert Neville and his dog, John Conner, and Axl Foley.

The Doctor's Madhouse Vs. The Underhills

 The Doctor's Madhouse is Dr. Manhattan, Ranx the Sentient City, Silver Surfer, Darth Vader, Abeloth, Brainiac Batman and Alfred (w/ double yellow lightsaber) in The Tumbler, Robin on the R-Cycle, Capt. America on his motorcycle, She-Hulk, Kid Flash, Ocean Master, Kit Fisto, Swamp Thing, Albus Dumbledore, Voldemort, Invincible (Mark Grayson), Atom Eve, Dupli-Kate, Robot, Rex Splode, Allen the Alien, Kryptonian #1-3, Yellow Lantern #3, Star Sapphire #2, & Mutant #1-3.


The Underhills are General Zod, Neo (w/ 2 blue lightsabers), Sauron (w/ The One Ring), Spider-Man, Incredible Hulk, Mogo, John Stewart, Green Lantern #1-5, Blue Lantern #1-2, Revan Reborn in First Order TIE Fighter, Excalibur: Capt. Britain, Meggan, Phoenix, Nightcrawler, Shadowcat, Lockheed, Widget, & Kylun, The Aerialbots: Silverbolt, Skydive, Fireflight, Slingshot, & Air Raid, Blue Wizard #1-2, Radaghast the Brown, Norma Cenva, Starkiller in A TIE Interceptor, Hangman and Rooster w/ Vizzy in Ebon Hawk, and Xenomorph #1-5.


A battle for the ages.  The mutual respect once held between these two inter-division rivals has grown into pure hatred as they both attempt to attain a much yearned for Playoff Spot.   Well-matched in every aspect it would seem that these two teams were created to do battle with one another.  Each provides an answer to the other's questions while still showing strength to the power they oppose.  The match begins in an extremely unlikely way as Ranx: The Sentient City, the living, breathing mechanical yellow lantern fueled monstrosity and arguably the most member of The Madhouse is ratioed by his green lantern counter-part the much larger Mogo.  Despite having an initial weakness to the color yellow, Mogo is able to overpower Ranx in their deep space battle by using means of biological attacks to overcome the city of fear.  Mogo certainly feels negative effects from the battle; but does handedly come out on top.  

The Madhouse certainly seems to have the upper hand when it comes to the Sea as five Underhill Xenomorphs delve into the deep waters.  Despite the hearty aliens being barely hindered at all by the water that they move through with ease; Swamp Thing, Kit Fisto, and Ocean Master make short work of the creatures discovered on LB-426.  

General Zod is in the midst of a mountain leveling battle with Brainiac in the desert that will have to be revisited later.  

Invincible and the rest of his Guardians of the Globe initially find themselves under attack from above as Hangman and Rooster in the Ebon Hawk with Vizzy himself working the Ventral Gun and Starkiller acting as their wingman in his TIE Interceptor begin a strafing run on top of the city buildings' rooftops that they are occupying.  Although the former members of The Teen Team have to quickly shift gears to a melee battle as they realize that the two ships were largely a diversion.  They quickly enter into a pitched battle with the members of Excalibur as Widget teleports the entire team into their midst for a surprise attack.  Invincible punches a hole through Widget to insure that this would be Excalibur's last teleport, but Rachel Summers Phoenix quickly absorbs Rex Splode before he can do any real damage.  Nightcrawler BAMFS Dupli-Kate out of existence, while Shadowcat phases through Robot to disrupt his innards.  Allen the Alien is hit by a potent fire blast from the mouth of the little dragon alien Lockheed; but Atom Eve rearranges the physical molecules of Kylun with the wave of her hand, before Phoenix and Nightcrawler double team her with a combo of speed and raw power.  Invincible manages to physically overpower Excalibur's leader Capt. Britain and break his neck; but he is lastly defeated by the shape-shifting Meggan, who according to the silly Facebook Comic groups I am in has become some sort of O.P. god since I quit reading comics.  

Despite being a lifelong She-Hulk fan, The MCU has made me forget about how cool of a character she was once.  So, she just said some woke, feminist crap and then got instantly mind-blocked by Norma Cenva.  

Radaghast the Brown's underwear suddenly matched his robe when Silver Surfer flew into his presence at the speed of light and cosmic blasted him out of the woods.  But, in more wizard news the two blue wizards squared off against the unlikely team up of Voldemort and Dumbledore. The two Hogwarts grads worked together much better than expected.  Despite their hatred for one another, they new many of the same tricks and were able to overpower the two Blue Wizards.  

Mutant #1-3, work together to use their powers of super strength, energy projection, and winged flight; but their powers are not enough to stand against the five Aerialbots, who blast them to bits from the sky in their jet forms before transforming into their robot modes and then merging to form Superion.  

Revan Reborn moves through the skies of The Play-off Planet at amazing speeds, guided by his Force Sensitivity.  He targets Robin on his motorcycle from the air and takes him out with a mag-pulse warhead.  The TIE is then quickly hit by a surface to air missile fired as a counter-measure from the Tumbler.  Revan then ejects out of The TIE and uses his Force Powers to carefully glide himself down to the top of the still moving Tumbler.  Batman and Alfred move the armored Batmobile swiftly and wildly, but they are still unable to shake Revan from the top.  Revan ignites his lightsaber and begins cutting a hole in the top of the vehicle destroying its integrity, causing Batman and his butler to eject, thus beginning the melee battle we have been waiting for.  Alfred ignites both parts of his double-bladed lightsaber, but despite having some skill with the yellow blades is taken out quickly by Revan.  Batman jumps into the fray though and has no trouble blocking the saber swings from Revan with his armor, especially since Batman had the chance to analyze Alfred's Saber and up his defenses.  Revan makes a fatal error and allows Batman to get in too close.  Bruce then dodges a lightsaber swing and delivers a Batarang into the neck of the Force Expert.  

The five other Green Lanterns follow close behind John Stewart, while their two blue lantern counterparts follow behind them, charging their green power rings to 200%.  They have the numbers advantage; but quickly realize that their power may not be on par with that of their competitors when they are approached by both Abeloth and Dr. Manhattan.  Stewart goes headlong for Manhattan while the others attempt to surround Abeloth.  John and the crew put up a valiant fight; but they simply do not have the strength to overpower such a duo.

Hulk sees his old buddy Cap and decides that he needs to smash the tiny Avenger Leader.  But Cap has a new team with him and is able to match Hulk's strength with his trio of Kryptonians backing him up.  With perfectly timed and precise attacks being called out by Cap the Kryptonians are able to weaken Hulk enough to cause him to revert back to his human form as Dr. Banner and allow Cap to deliver a Vibranium shield to his cranium.  Only one of the three Kryptonians (#2) survived their battle with the green giant.  

Spider-Man attempted some witty banter with Lord Vader, whilst leaping around; but the Dark Lord of the Sith ended him quick with a wicked Force Choke.  

The Madhouse's Yellow Lantern and Star Sapphire thought they had some pretty wicked powerful rings; but they realized what true power was in this arena as they were quickly stomped by Sauron.  Their own rings absorbed by the Power of the ring meant to rule all.

The speed of Kid Flash proved very annoying to Neo, who missed twice with his lightsaber before removing the head of the young Wally West.  

A tired out Zod allows himself a deep breath after finally being able to snap the neck of Brainiac after their extremely pitched battle.

Outside the atmosphere of The Play-Off Planet, The Ebon Hawk and Starkiller's TIE Interceptor are desperately attempting to finish The Silver Surfer; but they simply cannot seem to connect with anything strong enough to take him out.  The Surfer decides to turn the tides and go on the offensive and initially does so, by blasting himself, surf board and all directly through the hull of The TIE Interceptor.  Hangman and Rooster are able to make some incredible evasive maneuvers against the attacks of Silver Surfer and are even able to put the ship in position for Vizzy to be able to land some shots with their proton torpedoes; but they simply will not put the Surfer out of commission.  The Surfer conjures up a potent blast of cosmic energy and blowing the Ebon Hawk to oblivion.  

Norma Cenva is unimpressed by the sheer physical strength of Kryptonian #2 as she melts his brain into goo; but is caught off guard by a perfectly aimed cheap shot from Ol' Steve Rogers which puts her down for good.  

Lockheed loves to follow the strong horse and gladly becomes a mini-fell beast to Sauron the Deciever himself, once the little dragon becomes separated from his buddies in Excalibur.  Dumbledore and Voldemort, the reluctant partners have stayed together in the fight thus far and attempt to team up on The Lord of Mordor.  Dumbledore whispers:  "Ratio" under his breath as he sees Voldemort, blood-lusted and offended by someone else claiming to be The Dark Lord falls to the gauntlet laden hands of Sauron.  Sauron then turns his attention to Dumbledore, whom he knocks to the ground.  A dizzied and near dead Dumbledore rolls over to see the elusive Sword of Griffendore underneath a large rock.  Albus pulls out the sword and swings it wildly at Sauron cutting off the ring and having Sauron join him in death as his heavy boot comes down on the wizard to finish him off.  

The remaining members of Excalibur: Nightcrawler, Phoenix, Shadowcat, and Meggan venture into the water in an attempt to take out the Madhouse Members who have been residing there since the commencement of the match.  Meggan shifts into her true amphibian like form and easily moves through the water as Kitty Pryde phases through the water in her non-tangible form.  Nightcrawler attempts to help as he teleports about but is unable to do any real damage to Ocean Master, Master Fisto, or Swamp Thing.  This battle works its way to a stale mate, until Phoenix dives into the ocean and unleashes her full Phoenix Force Power.  Rachel Summers, who typically handles the mighty power of the Phoenix a bit better than her mother Jean Grey succumbs to the urge and boils the Sea of the Play-Off Planet killing not only her three water opponents, but her three teammates and herself as well.  

High above the Forest area, Superion takes flight and meets Abeloth who attempts to focus her Force energy at the massive Autobot Gestalt.  But Superion is able to break through the wave of power and  work over The Mother of Mortis with a combo of earth shaking metal fists and massive energy gun blasts.  

General Zod and Neo move in towards Darth Vader while the former Anakin Skywalker's teammate Dr. Manhattan flies out of the atmosphere to see if he can single handedly take on the planet known as Mogo.  Vader manages to put up quite a fight against the duo, proving himself to be not only the better of the two swordsmen against Neo, but also able to withstand both the heat vision and physical strength of Zod with his mastery of the living Force. Had it not been a two on one fight, Vader would have most certainly prevailed this day; but once Zod and Neo put their heads together, they were able to end The Dark Lord once and for all.  Up in space, Dr. Manhattan proved that his ability to destroy the vegetation and life of a planet was equal to his ability to create one from nothing.  As Manhattan flies back to earth to rejoin his team, he leaves Mogo a lifeless shell floating throughout space.  

Dr. Manhattan regroups with his only surviving teammembers Captain America and Silver Surfer as they plan their final push against The Underhills.  Dr. Manhattan is unhurt by the lightsaber attacks and punches of Neo and Zod that go right through him.  Manhattan then solidifies himself just briefly enough to grow to a massive size and rip the Kryptonian General Zod in half.  Neo, seeing that Manhattan cannot be defeated through conventional means, slips deep into a trance and rips Manhattan completely out of existence.  Silver Surfer uses every bit of strength he has both cosmic and physical to blast through Superion's chest destroying not only the formed Gestalt; but the five sparks of the individual Aerialbots as well.  The Surfer is thrown from his board after this victory where he falls at the feet of Neo who is able to deliver a flurry of punches to the chrome armored mortal with such speed and velocity that even The Surfer himself could not see coming.  As The Surfer dies from his wounds, Neo is at a point of total exhaustion.  Capt. America with his inability to ever give up leaps into action and attacks Neo with a flurry of melee attacks from fist, foot, and shield.  Neo, now unable to focus power outside the Matrix is simply using his Kung Fu skills and lightsaber ability to ward off Cap's attacks.  Cap breaks one of Neo's lightsabers, while a near dead Neo slices off the left leg of Captain America.  Cap leaps toward Neo with his one remaining leg, knocks the lightsaber from Neo's hand with a last swing of his shield, catches the lit saber, and uses it to cut off the head of Neo, just as Lockheed was blowing a blast of fire and biting the jugular of Steve Rogers......... 

Monday, April 10, 2023

Week 5 Staff Consortium: Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolypse vs The NAZA

Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolypse: Darkseid, Supergirl, Superboy, Apocolypse, Agent Smith w/ 2 White Lightsabers, Granny Goodness and The Female Furies: Bloody Mary, Stompa, Mad Harriet, and Lashina, Poseidon, Sarumon The White, Red Robin, Miss Martian, Wonder Girl, The Flash, Juggernaut, Megatron, Seaworms #8-10, Wedge in his X-Wing, Biggs in his X-Wing, He-Man and Battlecat, Legends Leia Organa Solo and C-3PO, and Eric Cartmen in a Hulk Buster Iron Man Suit

NAZA: The Doom Patrol: Mento, Negative Man, Elastic-Girl, Robot Man, and Changling, The Suicide Squad: Amanda Waller, Harley Quinn, Killer Frost, King Shark, Alan Scott, and Bloodsport, The Fantastic Four: Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Woman, The Thing, Human Torch in the Fantastic Car, The Sinister Six: Carnage, Green Goblin, Venom, Doctor Octopus, Rhino, and Sandman, The OG Guardizyns of Galaxy: Yondu, Charlie-27, Vance Astro, Starhawk, Martinix, Nikki, and Aleta, Ash Ketchum, Darkrai, Arseus, Giratina, Lugia, Kyogre, Regigas, Rayquaza, Kyurem, Dialga, Palkia, Alpha Trion, Ultra Magnus, Hot Spot, Streetwise, Blades, Groove, First Aid, Darth Traya, Darth Nihilus, Darth Sion, Omni Man, Mr. Mxyzptlk, Talahasse, Columbus, Witchita, and Little Rock w/ the White Sword in the Zombieland Hummer, Sandworms #1-6