Griswold's Nut-busters Vs. The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse

Griswold’s Nut-busters are Sharkticon #7 and Storm Trooper #3.

The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse is Xebel Soldier #2-9, and Gremlin #3-6.

How’s it going everybody out in The Consolation Tisown!??! This is your “Watcher with the bulging Crotcher” The Nizzle Mizzle Pogo!! I’m back this week to hang with y’all cuz Ol’ Joshatu the Sterilized didn’t want to mix it up in this toilet; but honestly it ain’t that bad. I mean, just like when you’re fishin around in a normal sized toilet, as long as you stay away from the poop you’re as tight as a tiger Son. I mean the water is clean, right. And hey, this gives the non-playoff peeps a chance to rock a consolation water squad for once, and how much fun is that??

Anyways… I guess I’ll just tell you folks about the time that I… Oh, crap. Nevermind it looks like the match is gonna start…

So, both the teams get dropped into the bowl with a big old plop (HA) and… OH DAMN I’M OUTTA HERE!! Let me just use my Watcher powers to go fly my silly a** outta here cuz these dudes is going nuts. The Gremlins started multiplying like crazy while the Xebel Soldiers attacked with a vengeance fighting both the Sharkticon, the Storm Trooper who they killed in about 4 seconds, and even their own Gremlins cuz there are like a thousand of them now. The bowl is swirling and there is giant poop and pee everywhere, and then to make matters worse some giant just ran over, opened up the lid and started vomiting violently into the toilet. Looks like Homey had Chili…. And now, OH OH….. Oh… OH OH COME ON!! Homeboy is turning around and loading a massive dump into this thing. And now the Sharkticon just bit a whole in the side of the bowl and it’s all going everywhere. This is hands down the most horrific thing I have ever seen as a watcher. Trust me dawg, Murder and genocide ain’t got sh&*t on sh&*t

The Sharkticon is just going nuts biting everything and mowing through turd logs, calcium urine deposits, diarrhea floaters, Xebel Soldiers, and Gremlins alike. Not to mention that the giant’s giant dog is now in the bathroom licking up all the vomit and puke and consuming Gremlin and Xebel Soldier bodies. And what is worse, is the Xebel Soldiers and Gremlins keep dying and losing control of their bowels so then there is even more poop being added to the even bigger poop. I mean, I’m pretty much a dude who straight up loves poop; but this is really getting me down. And I don’t mean like “I’m down”, like I’m cool with dat. I mean like I need to see a therapist and stuff.

But anyway, it looks like all of The Xebel Soldiers and Gremlins are dead one way or the other and I think the giant family dog just took the Sharkticon on as his new favorite feces-covered chew toy. And I think the Giant’s giant wife is on the phone with their giant doctor, because he must have giant dysentery or at least giant food poisoning or something.

Yeah, well….. That happened.

Gaaaaaaaaa-ROSS.

Pogo OUT!!

Week 2 Consolation Round: Wacky Races!!

Goal: A race to the finish line (don't bother to ask, of course the losers will die).
Setting: Via Lactea
Points: 30 plus 1 or more vehicles from your roster for your character(s) to operate. The use of these vehicles will NOT count as an official use.
Watcher: Joshatu or The Neon Master Pogo, depending on my... err, their moods.
Prizes:
1st place: Slave II
2nd place: Porkin's X-Wing
3rd place: A F-22 Fighter Jet
4th place: A Tank
Participants:
-Griswold's Nut-busters
-Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
-The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse
-The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets
-Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions
-The Empire
-Miley and Barry's Best of Both World's Dragon Depository
-Layanderletson's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Arguing Constantly About Whose Fault it was That They Lost in The First Round.

Season 8 Divisional Series

Points: 850
Setting: The Playoff Planet
Prize: 30 Resurrection Points
Squads Due by: Monday May 4th (National Star Wars Day) by 6:00 pm.

-#1 The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. #5 Beckermans Backyardigans: Beeyatches (Mike).
-#2 George Washington's Slaves Vs. #3 Real Man's Rabble Rousers (Dave).
-#1 The Royal Highness Vs. #4 TEAM (Nick).
-#2 John and Vader's House of Sith Aids Vs. #3 Team Sleeping Pussy (Fizz).

The Empire Vs. REAL Man's Rabble Rousers

The Empire is:

-Silver Surfer

-Red She Hulk

-Daredevil (w/ Mithril Vest).

-The Blob

-Arachne

-Earth 2 Batman

-Earth 2 Catwoman

-Superman Jr.

-Batman Jr.

-Black Zero (DC)

-Indigo Lantern Sinestro

-Balder the Brave

-Meggan

-Warbird

-Kid Gladiator

-The Orpahn

-Zombie Poison Ivy

-Kaja Sinis

-Lara Croft (w/ purple lightsaber)

-Scarlet Spider

-Hanibal King

-Lavos

-Vixen

-Black Zero (Mega Man)

-Mewtoo (w/ a red lightsaber).

-Vladimir Putin (w/yellow lantern ring).





Real Man's Rabble Rousers are:

-Zombie Optimus Prime

-The Anti-Monitor

-Vampire Galactus

-Beast Wars Collective:

-Optimus Primal

-Rhinox

-Cheetor

-Rattrap

-Dinobot

-Tigotron

-Airazor

-Silverbolt

-Savage/Noble

-Nightscream

-Depth Charge

-Scuba

-Big Hon

-Big Convoy

-Blackarachnia

-Autobot #3-5

-Vehicle Voltron

-Air Team

-Commander Jeff

-Rocky

-Wolo

-Chip

-Ginger

-Sea Team

-Commander Kirk

-Lisa

-Tangor

-Shannon

-Zandee

-Land Team

-Commander Cliff

-Cinda

-Modok

-Marvin

-Hutch

-Darth Maul (w/ darksaber and broken red lightsaber).

-Darth Rage (w/ yellow lantern ring (now, Darth Maul’s apprentice)).

-Duke: Transformers Mech Unit

-Snake Eyes: Transformers Mech Unit

-Scarlett: Transformers Mech Unit

-Roadblock: Transformers Mech Unit

-Spiderboy (Amalgam)

-Hammer Bros. #21-22

In another close call for all involved, and in a vote of 5 to 2....

Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. Miley's Whores and Barrack's Thug Commandos

B-3 is:

-General Zod

-Karaquan

-White Lantern Kyle Raynor (w/ full spectrum ring).

-Lord Helspont

-Vampire Dark Phoenix

-Thane

-Black Order:

-Proxima Midnight

-Black Dwarf

-Ebony Maw

-Super Giant

-Corvus Glaive

-Superior Spider-Man (Otto Octavius)

-Sentinel Prime (w/ Autobot Matrix of Leadership)

-Skeletor (w/ Gandalf the White’s staff).

-Darth Vader

-Abeloth (Mother of Mortis).

-Revan (w/ Mogo’s green lantern ring).

-Mazinger Z and Kouji Kabuto

-Quasar





The Commandos are:

-Iorek Birnenson

-Lyra Belacqua

-Pantalamion

-Will Perry

-Kirajua

-Hanibal of Crete (w/ Tron Light Suit and Disc).

-Black Dragon #15

-Allosaurus #1-4

-Robin Thicke (w/ 2 of Grevious’ lightsabers and Despotellis’ yellow lantern ring).

-Alan Thicke (w/ a green lantern ring).

-Joanna Kern (w/ a Star Sapphire).

-Tracy Gold (w/ a yellow lantern ring).

-Jeremy Miller (w/ an Indigo lantern ring).

-Hannah Montana (w/ 2 of Grevious’ lightsabers).

-Gungan Soldier #40 (w/ a trident) (he has 9 deaths).

-Gungan Soldier #41-50 (some of them have 9 deaths).

-Acklay #3

-Witch #1-2

-Bail Organa (w/ a White Lantern Ring and a Ferengi Energy Whip).

-Red Dragon #3 (w/ 9 deaths).

-Red Dragon #4-6

-Bronze Dragon #1-6, & 16-19.

In an unanimous vote of 5 to 0....

John and Vader's House of Sith Aids Vs. George Washington's Slaves

John and Vader’s House of Sith Aids are Ron Burgundy (w/ Quinlon Vos’ lightsaber), Brian Fantana (w/ a magnoguard electrostaff), Brick Tamland (w/ a Trident), Champ Kind (w/ a Battle Axe), and Veronica Corningstone (w/ a M202A1 FLASH Rocket Launcher), and Snow Trooper #6-7.

George Washington’s Slaves are Jedi Master #4.


Jedi Master #4, Season 1 FFL Veteran, master of the force, lifelong member of The Slaves, and one gifted with prescience into the future sits down awaiting the start of the match. The Jedi is dressed slightly strange for this planet in his long brown robe, but it is nothing a fast food chain such as this doesn’t see on a daily basis. He notices that he seems to blend right in on this planet for the most part, as he looks like what the natives would describe as nothing more than an “old white guy”. He meditates while atop the closed off throne of the match setting and ponders how The Slaves have shown more promise this year than they have since their last Universe Bowl appearance in Year 2. He knows that the job he has been given today is not the most glamorous; but that it is in fact a necessary part of the playoffs this season; and he is happy to do his part. He stands up from the seat, pulls down his ceremonial Jedi Robe as he pulls down the seat’s lever (WHAT?!!?... Jedis poop too, and besides; why waste this semi-private moment). Jedi Master #4 then walks over to the terrestrial earth sink and begins washing his hands (because, after all: cleanliness is forceliness). But at that moment the aged Jedi feels a disturbance in the Force and then begins to hear quite a ruckus outside the bathroom door.

Snow Trooper #6: “Mr. Burgundy, before this match starts…. Do you think I could get you to autograph my blaster rifle and helmet?? I’m a big fan.

Ron: Well, of course you are. It happens pretty regularly to people on my side of the spectrum. Let me pull out my Sharpie-Sharp-Sharp and give you a signy-sign-sign. And how about you lucky number 7? Can I make your day with an autograph as well??

Snow Trooper #7: No thanks Mr. Burgundy, you autographed my whole uniform last week, plus I’m kind of crabby. This suit is made for cold climates and it has got to be 75 degrees in this dump. I’m pretty much dying of heat exhaustion.

Champ: Well, no reason to be a sissy about it. WE GOT A MATCH TO WIN!!!! RIGHT NEWS TEAM?!!?

Brian: Hell yeah Champ!!

Ron: Hell yeah champ!!

Brick: I want chicken McNuggets.

Veronica: They just have chicken nuggets here Brick. Chicken McNuggets are only at McDonalds.

Brick: Are you Wendy??

Brian: No, Brick. That’s Veronica. She works with us remember?? Wendy’s is just the name of the restaurant.

Champ: WELL. I GOTTA HIT THE HEAD. WHO’S WITH ME??

Ron: Well, it would be fun if we all went together; but it is the MEN’s bathroom. So Veronica will have to wait here and hold our things.

Brian: Oh, come on Ron. Look at the size of that rocket launcher she is holding. It pretty much makes her a man. And it gives her the second biggest rocket in this group. “IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN” (He says as he playfully nudges Veronica).

Ron: Brian, you are my friend. And I am a believer in the “Bros before Hos”; but if you do not stop goo-goo eyeing my girlfriend than this may need to come to fisticuffs.

Champ: HOLD ON FELLAS!! Let’s save it for The George Washington’s Slaves. He didn’t mean nuthin by it.

The squad boisterously marches into the bathroom which can barely fit all of the combatants, right as Jedi Master #4 feels through the Force that he is significantly outnumbered by the squad that approaches him.

The Sith Aids burst into the room and instantly see their enemy’s blue lightsaber ignite as he is standing at the sink, and at the ready.

Snow Trooper #7: THERE HE IS: BLAST HIM!!!!

The two Snow Troopers and Veronica Corningstone all instantly fire their weapons and begin ripping the bathroom apart with powerful arms fire. Water begins spraying and tile begins to fall as several errant laser blasts and the FLASH Rocket that Veronica shot nowhere near Jedi Master #4 demolish the bathroom. The Jedi Master easily deflects three of the laser bolts back toward the two Snow Troopers and Veronica as well. Killing all three of them.

Ron: MY WORD!! You, you murderer. You killed my girlfriend. She was the love of my life you scoundrel!! We shall duel as the laser-sword-wielding-whatevers-of-old would have!! ON GUARD (He yells as he ignites his own lightsaber).

Burgundy rushes at The Jedi Master and swings his saber wildly; but Jedi Master #4 knocks the saber aside with his own and then delivers a carefully precise quick jab thrust to the heart of the newscaster with his own saber.

Champ: HE KILLED THE BOSS!! LET’S GET IM!!
The three remaining news team members rush at the Jedi with their respective Magnoguard staff, trident and Battle Axe and one by one have their primary weapons hand removed and then receive a lightsaber slice to the chest. First Brick, then Brian, and then finally Champ.

The aged Jedi stands in silent meditation for a moment before he uses the Force to break the Fourth Wall. He finally turns to The Watcher: Joshatu the Spectacular and sends a message to us all.

He says:

“WHAT?!!? It was four retarded newscasters and two scrubs, I’m a freakin Jedi Master. Damn…. You think just because a guy’s a common he can’t start some s&*^t?????

Layanderletson's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family Vs. TEAM

TEAM is:

-Red Son Superman

-Mon El

-Lor Zod (Chris Kent).

-Supergirl (Linda Danavers).

-Streaks the Super Cat

-Comet the Super Horse

-Sif

-The Warriors Three:

-Hogun

-Volstagg

-Fandral

-Black Lantern Dave Bowman (he has 9 deaths).

-Captain America

-Iron Man

-The Incredible Hulk

-Black Lantern Incredible Hulk

-Black Lantern Darth Vader

-Michael Demuirgos

-Willow (w/ a Holy Staff (he has 9 deaths)).



Vehicles: A Snow Speeder.







The Super Kitties are:

-Supergirl (w/ a red lantern ring).

-Power Girl

-Starfire

-White Lantern Yoda (originally Yoda’s Spirit w/ The White Lantern Ring).

-(Flashpoint (Thomas Wayne)) Batman w/ R2-KT in a Jedi V-Wing

-Wonder Girl (w/ a Ferengi Energy Whip).

-Kid Flash

-Mas y Menos

-Bedovian

-(Kingdom Come) Green lantern (Alan Scott)

-(Kingdom Come) King Marvel

-(Kingdom Come) Donna Troy

-(Kingdom Come) Red Arrow

-(Kingdom Come) Hawkman

-Red Hulk

-Green Goblin (Norman Osborne)

-Lockdown w/ his ship

-Judge Dredd

-Wheeljack

-Hoist

-Nightbird

-Rayne

-Regulous Arcturus Black

-Rodolphus Lastrange on an Adult Sized Tricycle

-Smurfette (w/ a Trident and a Star Sapphire Ring) in a Radio Flyer Wagon


In an even closer than it seems vote of 5 to 2......

Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions

Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions are:

-Aeon Flux

-Black Lantern Kyle Houslander

-Zombie Zachary Houslander

-John Zacharski

-Joe Frasier

-Kim Kardashian

-Zombie Mr. T (w/ Mace Windu’s Purple Lightsaber).

-Sandra Bullock

-Ulik

-Seprent

-Shao Kahn merged w/ Skadi Herald of the Serpent via hammer

-Gimli son of Gloin merged with Kuurth: Breaker of Stone

-Beast Wars Megatron merged with Nul: Breaker of Worlds

-Princess Leia merged with Skirn: Breaker of Men

-Blanka merged with Mokk: Breaker of Faith

-Marv merged with Greithoth: Breaker of Wills

-Beast Man merged with Angir: Breaker of Souls

-Jedi Master #2D-5D

-Ent #1-3

-Eowyn (w/ blue lantern ring and blue lightsaber).



Team Sleeping Pussy is:


-Dr. Manhattan

-Dave Bowman: The Starchild

-Leia Organa: Jedi

-Moss Man

-Alexander Luthor

-Duncan McLeod (w/ green lightsaber)

-Sunfire

-Planetary:

-Elijah Snow

-Jakita Wagner

-The Drummer

-Ambrose Chase

-Ultron

-Bullseye

-Sweep #1 (he has 9 deaths).

-Sweep #2 (he has 9 deaths).

-Vampirella

-S.D. Bob “Snake” Plisken

-Psycho Pirate

-Brother Blood

-Dark Beast

-Wild Cat

-Savage Dragon

-Hanover Fiste

-The W.I.L.D.C.A.T.S.

-Spartan

-Voodoo (she had 9 deaths)

-Grifter

-Zealot

-Warblade

-Maul

-Lord Emp

-Void

-La Femme Nakita

-Mr. Fred Rogers


In an unanimous vote of 6 to 0.....

Continuance

The suns beat down on his back as he starts to dig yet another grave. The work doesn't bother him, it's the least he can to to honor the sacrifices made by those he considers his children, but it's another common grave yet again made and filled with no fanfare or recognition. And this season, this horrible purge, he's had to ask for help with his depressing task. He's vowed to himself that he'll at least dig the first shovelful of soil and put on the first shovelful when the casket is lowered in. It's not much, but it's something. The "American Dream" Dusty Rhodes-hero of the common man- just can't let these deaths be for nothing. These were people, people who fought and died to try and give themselves and their families a better life. To chase that 15 minutes of fame everyone craves, ignoring the warning of misrepresentation and ignorance to their kind. The labels of "bullet catchers" and "roster fillers" don't bother these intrepid souls. They think they can make a difference. And it's this different style of thinking that Dusty is determined to honor, even if it's only with a few shovels full of earth and the sweat off his brow, after their dreams turn to nightmares.


Dusty's efforts aren't going unnoticed however. From a different dimension, he watches. Watches and marvels at the efforts made to honor the cattle. Those nameless fools. The blind, glory chasers. Those who only serve to further satiates the blood lust of the purveyors of the FFL. It disgusts him.  The multiverse is screaming out in agony and it's cries are still ignored and dismissed. The Convergence. The Secret War. Even the tomes of the Sixth Gun. They all preach the same doomsday gospel, and yet are all just called a "summer event".

But he knows better. His time with the Cosmic Key enhanced his multiversal awareness and gave him the ability to tranverse the various cosmos. He has walked in Metropolis. He's stolen from the helicarrier. He's set up shop in the shadow of the Playoff Planet in the one area none would dare to investigate. The tomb of the one none speak of. The one they refuse to allow to rest in their soil. The destroyer. They dare not even speak his name, his crimes of genocide are so great. It is in his image that this plan has unfolded.

They still don't know. His opening attack on the timeline. Unnoticed. Rewritten and forgotten. Chalked up to a case of mistaken identity. But his master stroke relies on the Mickey Mouse Grindhouse not being successful. So when it appeared that they would be victorious, he struck the timeline in such a way that their demise would be assured. And it worked. As did his interference with the snowspeeder. A snowspeeder can be operated by a single driver, but it's even MORE effective when the rear gunner has cloaked himself in technology rendering him invisible to Watcher eye.

His next phase may not allow him to be so unnoticeable. This will require a direct assault on a team vault. He must gather the instruments of apocalypse. The weapons that bring about armageddon. The early tomes tell of their individual power. Power that was harness too early, without knowledge of what they TRULY can do. He will have those six. And he will end the worlds.

And they'll never see him coming.The man known as Stardust will ensure that all that will remain of this atrocity of a Fantasy League is nothing but the destruction that they all clamor for.

Season 8 Playoffs: Round 1

Setting: The Playoff Planet
Points: 750
Prize: 30 Resurrection Points
Watcher: All matches in this official round will be decided by The Consortium.

-#3 REAL Man's Rabble Rousers Vs. #6 The Empire (winner will go on to battle The #2 George Washington's Slaves in Round 2).
-#4 Former Pop-Superstar Miley Cyrus and President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches (winner will go on to battle The #1 The Horsemen of Apokolips in Round 2).

-#3 Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. #6 Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (winner will go on to battle The #2 John and Vader's House of Sith Aids in Round 2).
-#4 TEAM Vs. #5 Layanderletson's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (winner will go on to battle The #1 The Royal Highness in Round 2).

**These squads are due in by 5:00 pm on Wednesday. As the regular season comes to a close, we return to single deaths for all postseason matches. Squads turned in early when possible would be much appreciated, as there is much work to be done. Good luck to all!!

Consolation: Week 1

Setting: An enormous swirling toilet bowl.
Points: 30
Prize: YT-1300 Light Freighter

-Griswold's Nut-busters Vs. The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse
-Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets

First Round Bye Punishment Match

Setting: A Wendy's Bathroom.
Points: 30
Prize: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!

-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Royal Highness
-John and Vader's House of Sith Aids Vs. George Washington's Slaves

Season 8, Week 9: The Empire vs. Miley "Topical Reference" Cyrus and President Barack "Political Humor" Obama's Best of Both Worlds Touring Battalion of Commandos

The Commandos are: Shadow the Hedgehog (w/Green Lightsaber), Donkey Kong Jr. (w/Blue Lightsaber), Diddy Kong (w/Red Lantern Ring), James McCloud (w/Flamethrower and Green Lightsaber), Lady Lindius Frotgus (w/Red Lantern Ring).

The Empire is: Brass Dragon #6 and Reek #2.

Judge Shadow slams down his hammer. "The Empire is sentenced to death for not having any humans or furries. Bring them to the pit."

Diddy Kong clips the dragons wings and tie them together before throwing them in the pit, where they're impaled on the spikes. The End.

What? No, that was just awful. Let's try that again.

Gosh darn it, I said the end. The End.

...Yikes.


BREAKING NEWS!

Several forgotten commons were found huddled and frightened on the streets of the Play-Off Planet today. Homeless and alone, they were thankfully apprehended by authorities for loitering and immediately sentenced to death by Judge Shadow.

S8W9: B-3 vs. Midgets

Mortal Kombat 2

Insert Koin(s)

Press Start

Blood Kode Activated

4 Character Team Kode Activated

Swearing Kode Activated

Weapons foreign to Mortal Kombat 2 disabled Kode Activated

Choose Your Characters!

B-3 selects: The Rock, Deathlok, Shang Tsung, and HHH w/Sledgehammer.

Midgets select: Treasure Troll #1, Tybalt, Arsenal, and Deadpool.

Stage Select: The Pit 2.

Round 1: FIGHT!

The Rock: "Do you smell what the Rock is cookin?"

Treasure Troll #1: Silently stares into the abyss of your soul.

This isn't even a contest. The Rock lays the smackdown on Treasure Troll #1's rudy-poo candy ass.

FINISH HIM!

The most electrifying move in sports entertainment, The People's Elbow, obliterates Treasure Troll #1.

The Rock wins

Flawless Victory

Fatality

Round 2: FIGHT!

The Rock: "The Rock says just bring it!"
 
Arsenal: "I'm a pro at waking up in weird places, but this?!?"

Arsenal is like the guy that picks Ryu in Street Fighter and throws fireball after fireball until you rage quit. Except the fireballs are arrows, which means trouble for the projectile-less Rock.

FINISH HIM!

A final arrow pierces the eye of The Rock, and Arsenal rips it out with The Rocks brain still attached to the arrow shaft.

Arsenal wins

Fatality

Round 3: FIGHT!

Arsenal: "I'm going to enjoy murdering this one-eyed freak!"

Deathlok: "..."

Arsenal goes back to the tried and true arrow barrage, but Deathlok is far more suited to deal with it than his teammate. He takes some damage in the process, but is able to get in range for the always deadly "Gotcha!" grab. Repeatedly.

FINISH HIM!

Deathlok rips the arms clean off of an incapacitated Arsenal, Jax-style.

Deathlok wins

Fatality

Round 4: FIGHT!

Deathlok: "..."

Tybalt: "Turn thee, and look upon thy death!"

Shakespeare's Tybalt is great at running his mouth, but not so great at fighting undead cyborgs.

FINISH HIM!

Deathlok claps his hands together on Tybalt's head and crushes it in an exposive manner. Deathlok sure loves his Jax homages!

Deathlok wins

Fatality

Round 5: FIGHT!

Deathlok: "..."

Deadpool: "Is this the new Marvel vs. Capcom game? I gotta tell ya, these graphics seem dated for a new game."

Deathlok is mercilessly beating Deadpool to a pulp, but his health meter hasn't budged, strangely. It takes time, but Deathlok's health is eventually whittled down to nothing.

FINISH HIM!

Deadpool gives Deathlok an uppercut that sends him careening off the bridge over The Pit 2. The cyborg spatters on the concrete below.

TOASTY!!!

Deadpool wins

Flawless Victory

Fatality

-error-

Game Genie cheat detected

Invincibility Kode deactivated

Round 6: FIGHT!

Deadpool: "Nooooo! You trashed my Game Genie! You monster!!!"

Shang Tsung: "HAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Shang Tsung's triple fireball trick is effective as always, until Deadpool remembers that this guy is a sucker for barely in range leg sweeps. Shang Tsung is tripped repeatedly until he is stunned.

FINISH HIM!

Deadpool goes "totes meta" and uses his own health bar as a bat to knock Shang Tsung to the cold hard ground below, who flails aimlessly the entire way down.

Deadpool wins

Fatality

Final Round: FIGHT!

Deadpool: "If you think I'm cheap, you should try playing against Shao Khan on expert!'

HHH: "Time to play The Gaaaaaame!"

Deadpool's Shao Khan prophecy comes true as HHH uses his sledgehammer with brutal efficiency. Every move Deadpool tries is countered by the nigh unstoppable hammer. This is as cheap as it gets in fighting games. Seriously, f*ck Shao Khan... er, HHH.

FINISH HIM!

HHH put the sledgehammer on the ground and Petigrees Deadpool face first into the deadly, deadly hammer, with skull shattering results.

HHH wins

Fatality

Player 2: Insert koin to Kontinue

9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1

Game Over

"HAHAHAHAHA!!!! YOU SUCK!!!" -Shao Khan's disembodied voice

The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse

The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse are: Aro, Caius, Marcus and Centerion

The Horsemen of Apokolips are: Mr. Sinister, Madelyne Pryor and Marilyn Monroe wearing Tron Light Suit and wielding Tron Light


Both teams face each other on the bridge of Pit 2.

Aro: We, or rather, three fourths of us are of the Volturi.

Mr. Sinister: Three Dandy-Boys and their Eternian servant--you jest, surely.

Aro: Prepare to meet your d---.

Aro is cut off as an energy blast from Sinister dismembers and incinerates the Grindhouse. Their ashes float off the bridge to the pit below.

Sinister turns, facing out of the TV screen that houses the Mortal Kombat II arena of the Pit 2. Breaking the fourth wall he shoots an energy blast and yells: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? IS THIS NOT WHY YOU ARE HERE? He spits, turns and walks off the bridge. Madelyne and Marilyn follow.

The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse: All Dead.

The Horsemen of Apokolips are Triumphant: All Survive.