Week 3 democracy match: Super Kitties err whatever vs Affirmative Action Popeyes

Kitties are: Daffy Duck, Daisy Duck, Medusa, Ocean Master in a submarine, Aqualad, Argent, Barricade, Bombshell, Shockwave, Pipes, Killer Frost, Kirby, Aphrodite, Capt. Cold, Gold Dragon #2- 1, Finick O’Dare with Trident, Darth Traya w/ Red Lantern Ring, Piplup w/ Ice flower, Squirtle, Baby Storm, Phibian #1-20 - 20.

Popeyes are: Destro, Beachhead, Road Block, Gung Ho, Lt. Flint, Shipwreck, General Hawk, Duke, Nemesis Enforcer, Lady Jane, Serpentor, Globulous, The Baroness, Head Coach, Tigger, Eeore, Rabbit, Piglet, Shawn Michaels, Marty Hannety (W/ Racoon Leaf), Bret “The Hitman” Hart, Jim “The Anvil” Niedhart, Mike Sroka, Laura Sroka, James Sroka, Fred Baker, Slash, Jaws (From Jaws 4), The Sando Aqua Monster, Ethan The Rabbit Fishman (W/ Beskar Armor), Bruno Samartion, Weird Al Yankovic, Luke Skywalker’s Spirit, Timmel, Tasmanian Devil, Voldemort (W/ Yellow Lantern Ring), Sentinel #4, Sentinel #5, Sentinel #6

S12 W2: TEAM vs Kittens

 TEAM is: Josh & Kids Lantern Crew (Josh plus Laya, Alex, Scarlett and Grayson all as some sort of lantern I presume), Non, Black Lantern Yoda, Black Lantern Sinestro, Duke Nukem, Post Porch Zombie Al Dogg, Bill Rizer, Lance Beam, Junkeon #7

Dramatic Kittens of Luna are:

Hermione Granger (Final Death), Apocalypse, Finich O' Dare (w/ trident & Men in Black memory eraser), Professor Minerva Mognonagle, Fred & George Weasley, Mystery Inc.: (Fred, Velma, Daphne, Shaggy, Scooby-Doo, Scrappy-Doo, & Scooby-Dumb) in the Mystery Machine, Chun Li, Bellamy Blake, Baby Ewok #2, 3, & 7.

The Scooby doo gang is driving around the City of Detroit looking for a fight. They see a man standing on a street corner with 4 young children and decide to ask them for directions. 

“Hey there. We’re in a fantasy fantasy match. We are a little lost since none of the streetlights work in this town and every street sign is missing.” Says Fred. “Think you could help? We’re with the Kittens of Luna and are looking for our teammates. Have you seen them?” 

“Oh. We’re TEAMmates.” Answers Josh. “Can we get a lift?”

“I don’t think you are. I’ve never seen you at any of our team protests and I definitely have never seen you at one of our vegetarian BBQs.” Says Velma.

“What’s the point of a BBQ if there is no meat? What do you even cook!?” Alex asks disgustedly. 

Laya rolls her eyes at Alex and goes back to sending tweeters out on the SnapBook.

“Why, Cauliflower steaks of course! Zoinks!” says Shaggy. 

“Oh, God!” Alex blurts out as he begins to vomit on the side of the road at the very thought of eating a vegetable.

“Regardless, you aren’t on our team so I can’t let you in.” Says Fred

“We’re for sure on the TEAM. I assure you.” Says Josh

“No you’re not. You don’t-- wait. Are you saying team or TEAM?”

“Yes”

“Come on, be serious.”

“We are TEAMmates. I assure you.”

“You’re doing it again! You’re saying ‘TEAM’ ambiguously just to confuse us!”

“No I’m not. You’re the one who doesn’t know that we’re all on the same TEAM.” 

“Cut it out!” screams Fred

“Are you going to let us in or not?” Asked Josh.

“I don’t think so.” Fred responded smugly.

“Suit yourself…”

Within seconds the young Houslander soldiers had the car doors opened and after a few quick blasts of some voodoo lantern magic, the Mystery Machine was full of corpses. Josh and Alex piled the bodies on the road and Laya hopped in the driver’s seat. Scarlett and Grayson hopped in back with Alex and were playing with the baby ewoks. As Josh was climbing into the passenger seat, a giant explosion went off a few blocks away and the earth shook as several buildings fell into a mountain of rubble. 

“Aww. We missed the match. I wonder if we won.” said Josh as he shut the door. “I’m sure there will be a recap.”

As Laya sped away she forgot she didn’t really know how to drive and the car swerved off an overpass and exploded moments later as it made impact in a magnificent fireball on I-375.

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions

Assassins: Lantern Neo, Elastigirl and Violet, Spider-Woman, The Ancient One, Vampire Capt. Marvel, Jedi Master Joe Levine, Nightsister Kelly, and Jedi Youngling Abby, Orcs #19-29, Zombies #16-20, and Elf #9-11

Barkley’s: Robo-Barkley, Deadpool, Killer Kroc, Usagi Yojimbo (w/ Green Lightsaber) & Jotaro, Princess Laya of the Salad Kingdom w/ Pokemon Trainer Scarlet w/ Eevee, Piplup, and Detective Pikachu, Shrek & Donkey, The Protectobots: Hot Spot, Groove, Streetwise, Blades, & First Aid & Purple Dragon #1

    Cars rush by in the night as the battle begins, and Spider-Woman swings from building to building. Suddenly, Pokemon Trainer Scarlet throws Eevee in a surprise attack at Spider-Woman, electrocuting her, causing Spider-Woman to fall to her death. Princess Laya then took Spider-Woman’s web shooters, mistaking them for iceberg lettuce. She then choked to death, as she realizes too late that she should’ve stuck to broccoli. Robo-Barkley then comes up behind Jedi Master Joe, and using his superior NBA strength, breaks his kneck; in revenge, Nightsister Kelly and Youngling Abby sneak attack Robo-Barkley and push his into oncoming traffic. He dies a gruesome death. The Zombies move steadily toward Shrek and Donkey as Donkey mocks Skrek’s scottish accent and looks for a good Gyro place. Detective Pikachu wants to come with, so he straggles along, stopping every few steps to investigate the going ons throughout Detroit on their journey for Gyros. When they finally find a Gyro place, the zombies speed up and eat Shrek and Pikachu while they scream and try to run away. ..They leave Donkey alone because he sounds like Eddie Murphy and they like him. Black Lantern Neo runs around cracking jokes as Usagi Yojimbo stealthily follows him and gets his green lightsaber ready. Yojimbo attacks with his lightsaber, but Lantern Neo hears him coming. Lantern Neo’s arm gets slashed, hanging by a thread, but he knocks Yojimbo’s lightsaber down (because he can) and kills him in one swift motion. Jotaro then sneaks up behind Neo and drop kicks him with his sweet moves. This gives Neo a deadly concussion, and brain damage, to the point of no return. 

The Ancient one then grabs Deadpool and Killer Kroc and uses magic to push them up against an already crumbling brick wall. Using their power of astral projection, they then confuse Killer Kroc and Deadpool into thinking that they’re in front of them, when instead they come up behind the two idiots and pushes them into a hell dimension where they burn to death. 

Donkey then grabs Pokemon trainer Scarlet with her pokemon, Eevee and Piplup, to take them for Gyros too, but sadly, the Orcs attack and crush Scarlet and her pokemon under their large feet and with their obnoxiously large muscles. They think about leaving Donkey alone with his Gyros, but instead they crush him too because they find his jokes annoying. The Protectobots band together in retaliation in an attempt to crush the orcs. They succeed by forming Defensor to crush the orcs in revenge for Scarlet and Donkey. Being angry at the Ancient One as well, they know all of the tricks, and crush the Ancient One under their metallic grip before the Ancient One can even begin to react. Vampire Captain Marvel sees how strong the Protectobots have become, and wanting to find out how amazing the Detroit Gyros are, wants the battle to be over. She blasts the protectobots, melting them under her powerful energy blasts. Purple Dragon attempts to fight back, but fails, only landing one kill as they breath their supremely hot breath at Nightsister Kelly and her unassuming Youngling Abby. They are given mercy- killed quickly, and avenged, as Captain Marvel decimates the dragon with energy blasts once again.

Week 2 consortium: Sith Aids vs Striders of Rohan

 Sith Aids are: Weapon H, Handcock, Zombie Cyborg Superman (last life) , The Anti Monitor (last life) , and Navy Seals 3-5 (all last life) l

Striders are : John Wick w/ vibranium suit, the injustic league: Ultraman, SuperWoman, Power Ring, Johnny Quick, Owlman, Talon,  King Kong, Scorpian, Earth 2 batman, and Earth 2 Catwoman. 

Evil Midgets Vs. Be Gentle at The City of Detroit

 Evil Midgets Team: White Lantern Yoda, Darth Maul w/the darksaber and double bladed lightsaber, Gamera, Wendigo, Bat mite, skywarp

Be Gentle Team: Black Goku, Z fighters (gohan, krillin, piccolo, tien, yamcha, chaitzu, yajirobe, and bulma), super boy, king zeno 

It's a very hood like day in the city of Detroit.  The car alarms are ringing, you can hear your neighbors Aunt kicking out the gang banging nephew, and the air is filled with a nice cloud of smoke.  It all seemed to be a normal day for Yoda and his fellow peers, that is until their encounter with Goku Black and the Z fighters.  Yoda had just gone for his brisk morning walk when he had his encounter with Piccolo.  Yoda had instantly drawn his lightsaber and attacked without hesitation.  Although Piccolo did not make an attempt to attack Yoda knew his strengths and knew he could be the only green badass in Detroit ya hur

Upon seeing what Yoda had just done Bat Mite makes a run for it.  God knows where but all we know is he’s not gonna be anywhere close any soon.  Goku instantly springs into action and shoots across the sky where he is met by Skywarp.  Little does skywarp know what he is going to get into.  Goku doesn’t even bat an eye as he hits him with Dragon Fist and blows him away with ease.

A tremble begins to shake the entire city.  It couldn’t have been from the power of the Dragon Fist.  It was Gamera the want to be Godzilla. Even though Gamera isn’t Godzilla this big beast can do some damage.  Gamera comes tunneling toward Detroit with none other than Bat Mite on its back.  Causing nothing but utter destruction Gamera is running in the city and crushes King Zeno while doing so.  Superboy instantly springs to the aid of Goku where the both team together to try and take down Gamera.  Superboy uses his heat vision as Goku powers up a large Kamehameha wave while screaming like a jackass to shoot at Gamera.  In unison they strike Gamera and deal a great amount of damage.

All while this is going on Yoda and Darth Maul have taken notice to the rest of the Z fighters.  

Yoda and Tien and beginning to engage in combat.  Tien realises he can’t get close enough and tries to use the Solar Flare Technique, Yoda brushes it off like it's nothing and swings his saber taking off the head of Tien.  Wendigo is met with the unwavering power of martial arts from Krillin and Yamcha.  Where together they are able to take down Wendigo with a one two combo. As you were sitting here thinking Darth Maul couldn’t get any more badass but he does because not only does he have his double bladed lightsaber he has the Darksaber where he is able to wipe out chiaotzu, yajirobe, and bulma like Anakin did them kids in Episode 3. Ya I said it. Fuck them kids

Gohan, Krillin, Yamcha, Goku, and Superboy all regroup in centerfield at Comerica Park as it is one of the only places untouched by the utter destruction of the battle between Goku and Gamera.  Just when they thought they were alone Yoda comes walking out of the away team dugout saying “here are we” as he is followed by Maul and Bat Mite.  Numbers are in the Z fighters but intelligence and skill not so much.  Goku instantly shoots into the air to build up some sort of power.  On the ground a clash ensues between the z fighters and maul.  Maul is able to lunge at Krillin but is stopped by Yamcha’s wolf Fang fist.  Maul just laughs and utters “you are nothing” and swiftly kills both Krillin and Yamcha with his Darksaber.  Superboy is left to fight Yoda where he is holding his own until Maul is there to help.  Just as he feels so hopeless and blinding light and gut wrenching screaming is let out. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH” *five episodes pass* “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH” and Goku lets down a Spirit Bomb Decimating what was left of the city of Detroit.  

Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. Crack Danks

 Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are The Shazam Family:  Mary Marvel, Capt. Marvel Jr., Eugene Choi, Pedro Pena, Darla Dudley, & C.C. Batson, Capt. Marvel, Cyborg Superman (w/ yellow lantern ring), & Link (w/ green lantern ring).

Crack Danks are Dr. Manhattan (w/ The White Lantern Ring), Black Lantern Superman, Leonardo, Donatello, & Raphael, Beowolf, & Rabban Harkonen (w/ 2 blasters).

Prologue:  

Two powerhouses of such potential of mass devastation could not simply be put into a city without the setting becoming marred and destroyed beyond repair; so we Watchers chose the one location that could not possibly be made worse by the devastation.....

Now for the Match:

WELCOME TO DETROIT, MICHIGAN everybody, it's a beautiful day chock full of just a little bit of rain, a dense chill, and a balmy 43 degrees.  The two teams roll in ready for a fight; but it looks like they are going to take in a little bit of the scenery first.

Leading the Dinomites is Captain Marvel and the Captain Marvel family as they roll into town (No, not that Captain Marvel, the Marvel Captain Marvel and Marvel Family from DC, the DC Captain Marvel isn't here).  Eugene turns to Pedro and says:  "Dang dude did the battle already happen and we missed it??  I mean, look at this place".

"You ain't kidding bruh, good thing we brought Robocop with us".  Retorts Pedro.

Mary gives them both a glance that obviously means SHUT UP and says:  "That isn't Robocop on our team, it is Cyborg Superman.  And he looks pissed so try and keep it down.

Back on the other side of the battlefield...  city....  err, battlefield; whatever...  The Crack Dizzles are ready to sizzle.  And by sizzle, I mean none of them seem to have much in common and are keeping to themselves, other than the Ninja Turtles who are still mourning the loss of their brother Mikey (RIP in the chat for Michelangelo, this is the Ninja Turtles first match without him).  "Hey Leo, this place kind of makes you miss the New York sewers doesn't it" asks Donatello.

"COME ON LEO....  Shut Donnie up, AIN'T NOBODY GOT ANY TIME FO DIS.  Now let's get these bodacious baddies and get the shell out of this city".  proclaims Raph defiantly.  

Both teams turn around the corner of Michigan Avenue and Trumbull where they first see the sight of an abandoned baseball diamond and then catch a glimpse of each other.  The battle quickly ensues with a vengeance.  Beowolf begins lighting off a flurry of counter-measures scattering the Marvel Family in all directions.  Leo, Don, and Raph engage in a melee with C.C., Darla, and Pedro making for a strangely pitched battle.  The Marvel family being far more powerful, but the Turtles having skills that are far more honed.  This battle rages on, while the rest of the Marvel clan unleashes everything they have on the enormous Neo-Titan Cymek Beowolf.  

Link blocks three quick shots from the dual blasters of The Beast Rabban, and then relieves the Harkonen Madman of his head, finally drawing first blood in this vicious encounter.  

Link then turns to his right and sees the intense battle taking place between Cyborg Superman and Black Lantern Superman.  As they punch each other with building leveling punches and eye beams that could even be used for melting steal beams and Epstein memes for all y'all poetic dreams.  Cyborg Superman, weakened to his almost breaking point, takes flight and lights up the Black Lantern version of his arch-enemy with every ounce of yellow energy he can muster from his ring.  Black Lantern Supes blasts right through the assault and rips the half-robot, half-Kryptonian's head from his body.  The Black lantern, still glowing yellow from the energy pumped into him screams in a mix of anguish and victory.  Link sees this and leaps into action.  Completing a summersault, he charges up his bow and arrow with the power of his green lantern ring and delivers an arrow directly into the eye socket of Black Lantern Superman creating the blast of dual lantern power necessary to kill a Black Lantern.  

White Lantern Dr. Manhattan and Captain Marvel take to the air and head high above the city for what is certain to be the most epic battle of the match.  The two over-powered characters glare at each other with intensity when Capt. Marvel notices that Dr. Manhattan is naked.  Not to mention that the once blue Captain Marvel is now white (the least favorite color of anyone who is woke).  An appalled Marvel instantly grabs her I-phone and begins tweeting about how she cannot believe that a racist man is allowed to fly around naked, but that she isn't allowed to.  "THE PATRIARCHY IS ALIVE AND WELL" she screams whilst reading her own tweet aloud.  Dr. Manhattan then disappears as he in CANCELLED from existence, while Capt. Marvel simultaneously dies of PTSD Butthurt causing their skirmish to result in a draw.

As these events unfold, The Marvel family battles on with the Turtles and their unlikely ally Beowolf (who ironically looks a little bit like the Technodrome now that I think about it).  With lasguns and old-fashioned missiles blazing about out of the arsenal of Beowolf who is being hit by an endless flurry of magical force, the three heroes in a half shell duck down into a ditch for a moment where Donatello reveals a plan of action.  The Turtle that best does machines (that's a fact jack) reveals that after studying the specs of Beowolf he found out about the micro-nuke within his hull.  "I have a plan that could win us this thing, but I have to admit, it is a real D*&% move" confesses Donnie.

"WELL DO IT ALREADY" Bellows Raph.

"I don't know guys, let me meditate on this for a minute.  I mean, what would Master Splinter do"??  Says Leonardo.

"COME ON LEO.  SPLINTER AIN'T EVEN HERE" says Raph with vigor.

Donnie looks at them both and says:  "I hate to say it Leo, but I think I agree with Raph on this one".

Leo nods and Donnie pulls a remote control out of his utility belt.  The Turtles pull up a manhole cover and jump into the sewers.  Donatello presses down on the remote just as the Marvel Family is converging over the top of The gargantuan Cymek.  Much to the surprise of their supposed ally Beowolf the tactical nuke within his hull blows up taking out most of what is still standing in the city block.  Including the entire Marvel Family, except their most powerful member Mary who with her superior powers and experience was able to shield herself from the blast.  The Turtles come out of the sewer to see a battered Link, who barely got his red tunic on in time to shield from the radioactive blast.  Link is too busy attempting to get the tunic off before it burns him alive, while the Ninja Brothers look around in wonder to see if anyone else survived, their question was quickly answered.  The scream of "SHAZAM" is heard as Mary flies in fast in a rage towards the three Turtles.  She makes short work of Donatello before pushing Raphael to the ground with vigor.  Raphael instinctively swings his double Sais together and delivers the two weapons through the ears and into the brain of Mary Marvel as she blows a hole through Raph's chest.

Leonardo looks in shock at seeing his two brothers deaths; but draws swords knowing that this fight is not over.  Link draws his sword as well and the two tired and battered warriors take a moment to size each other up.  "With all the powerhouses in this battle, who would have thought that it would come down to just you and me".  Link yells to his worthy opponent Leonardo.

"Well, considering that we are the obvious two favorite characters in this match of the Watcher Joshatu the Great and Powerful....  It seems pretty obvious actually".  Leo says in snide fashion as he breaks the Fourth Wall.  

The two warriors nod to each other in respect and clash with ferocity.  An evenly matched melee battle ensues for some time.  Link tries to confuse his opponent by bringing out his boomerang, but Leo swiftly cuts it in half.  Leo then comes down hard on Link's Hyrulian Shield and is shocked to see his well-forged Katana shattered.  The Turtle uses this unplanned distraction to his advantage as he gets behind the shield and is able to knock it from the arm of Link creating a one sword to one sword contest.  Leo knocks Link to the ground with a roundhouse kick after a well-timed sword parry and begins to move in for the kill; but Link is able to regain grip of the Master Sword and send it up underneath the chin of Leonardo before the Ninja could deal the finishing blow.