Week 2 Democracy: Affirmative Action Popeyes vs George Washingtons House Elves

Popeyes are : Black Lantern Emperor Palpatine, Mr Mxyztplk, Forest Gump w/ Green Lantern Ring, The Bad Batch : Hunter, Crosshair w/ Amban Sniper Rifle, Wrecker, Tech, and Echo, and Earth 2 Superman.

House Elves are : Thor, Colosus, Black Bolt, Prince Harry in a F16, Snake Plissken, The Monkguin, Jar Jar Binks (da goat) , Luke Skywalker (last life) , Chase in his police cruiser, Marshal in his fire truck, Sky in her helicopter, Rocky in his garbage truck, Rubble in his bulldozer, Zuma in his hovercraft, Tracker in his jeep, Everest in her snowmobile and Ryder. 

S12 W1: Striders of Rohan vs Crack Danks

 The Striders of Rohan are: Gandalf w/ White Lantern Ring (4 deaths), Winter Soldier w/ Green Lantern Ring, Blue Lantern #1a, Blue Lantern #2a

Crack Danks are: Jolee Fishdo, Grey Worm, Snow White and the 7 dwarfs, Sardakaur Terror Trooper #3 (4 deaths), Goldmember

The Striders are waiting at the bottom of the pit when the Danks rush from the side and slide in. Goldmember starts to tumble ass over ears and ends up breaking both his legs just like Chris Pratt did. He laid to the side for the duration of the match bleeding out as one of his femers tore his femoral artery. 

Grey worm had taken the time prematch to train and rally the 7 dwarves into a mini army of the unsullied. Snow white lifted her dress up to distract the Blue lanterns and in their moment of weakness, this allowed Sneezy and Grumpy to attack. Sneezy jumped on the face of Blue Lantern #1a and sneezed repeatedly into his mouth and face. Everyone was appalled since sneezing in public in 2021 is basically on par with chemical warfare. Anyway, BL1a got insta-Covid and died. Grumpy went into rage mode and took all his anger out on BL2a’s face. 

Winter Soldier was able to destroy all the Dwarves though along with the Disney princess. Grey worm threw a spear and Jolee pulled out some sick lightsaber moves and the two of them were able to overpower the Winter soldier while Gandalf easily took out the Sardakaur Terror Trooper #3 with a quick blast from his staff.

The greatest wizard of all time stared at the unfrightened duo that remained and calmly chuckled. As he twirled his staff he said to the two, “You didn’t actually think I would go to the graveyard in week one to YOU TWO, did you?”

The two realize their fate as Gandalf grabs the staff with both hands and buries it into the earth. The resulting shockwave annihilates the remaining Danks.

House Elves vs The TEAM

 The House Elves are: Daddy Supes (Superman) and Dick Tracy, no joke required.

The TEAMs are: Every Artrip we could find,  including and limited to: Chris Artrip with a Tanuki Suit, Julie Artrip with a Fire Flower, Ella Artrip with a Frog Suit, Jack Artrip with a Raccoon Leaf, Ben Artrip with a Goomba Sock, Red Ranger Chris Artrip, Pink Ranger Julie Artrip, Yellow Ranger Ella Artrip, Blue Ranger Jack Artrip, and Black Ranger Ben Artrip. Also Vulcan and an Ewok (#7) are there.

At the edge of The Pit, as featured in the hit Mouse Rat song, the Artrip Force assembled. "Artrip Force, assemble!" shouted Chris, dressed head to toe as a Japanese raccoon-dog. "My wife and kids?" The real life Artrips stepped forward. At the sight of Jack, Ewok #7 began to wriggle against the hold of Vulcan, who was standing a couple yards away from the group. "This thing clearly wants to be in the family photo, why am I holding it?" Chris's expression changed from one of determination to teeming rage, spittle erupting from his reddened face. "Vulcan, you SHUT UP! You do not speak to the Artrips! We are assembling and you're ruining it for everyone!" His wide eyes darted around, landing on a small rock, which he picked up in his tanuki paw and chucked at Vulcan's stupid face. "Alright, Mighty Morphin' Artrip Rangers?" One at a time they struck dramatic poses and introduced themselves.

"Red Ranger Chris!"

"Pink Ranger Julie!"

"Yellow Ranger El-"

Y'Ella was interrupted by a cackle as loud as a jet engine, and Superman descended from the sky with Dick Tracy on his back, gun in hand. "Hey bozos, y'all ready for this? I've got like 5 dates with all the local flooze here tonight." He landed in front of Chris, lit a cigarette, and sucked it down in the blink of an eye. With a gentle flick he bounced the smoldering butt off Chris's face. "So let's make this quick, fursuit."

Chris smirked, picked up the butt, and began to smoke it himself despite it being mostly filter. "See, that's what I was thinking big boy. You know, the crazy thing is, I own you. I own your whole team, and I say you forfeit." Superman pulled off his badass aviator sunglasses for dramatic effect, his brow furrowed. "That doesn't sound right... but I don't actually know enough about the rules of this game. Dick, the by-laws?" The grumbling gumshoe screwed the cap back on the flask he was swigging and pulled out a small book from his coat. He flips a few pages, squinted his eyes at the text. He looked at the Artrips, then back at his book. Glanced at Superman, then back to the book. Took another pull from his flask. Back to the book again. Finally, he snapped it shut in one hand and slipped it in to his pocket. "No. This is a game, you're not even real." With these words, Chris and his family began to fade from existence like Marty McFly. "No, NO!" Chris fought against his fate, attempting a charge at Dick Tracy, but Dick produced his gun and shot him down. The Artrips vanished from this reality, but the Mighty Morphin Power Artrips still watched in shock. Ewok #7, upon seeing Jack blipped out of existence, broke free from Vulcan and began to tear at Dick's face. Superman raised a brow and made a lazy gesture toward the pit. "Alright, whatever, get in." Red Ranger Chris shouted "It's Morphin' Time, Artrip Rangers!" They all began to pose in formation, but Superman wasn't having it, and he inhaled another large gasp, sucking the Rangers off-balance and in to the Pit below. He crashed in after them, grabbing Blue Ranger Jack and swinging him into the other Rangers like a fleshy cudgel. However, Vulcan was still standing at the edge of the Pit, and used his geokinesis to bring its maw shut on both Superman and the Artrip Rangers. A brief moment of calm passed before Superman erupted from the Earth, glaring at Vulcan. His eyes charged up a heat beam, but Vulcan stopped it inches from Superman's face, condensing the energy in a tight ball like a miniature star. The ball released, and Superman's smug head was no more. He pulled a cigarette from Superman's pocket, lit it with an energy beam of his own, and flicked it into the reopened pit. "Live long and prosper, Superbitch."

AAA Vs Sith Aids

 Sith Aids Team: Daenerys Targaryen , Daenerys Dragon, IG-88 , Baby Sandworm, Mr.PoopyButthole

AAA: Freddy Kruegar w/ Yellow Lantern Ring, Red Lantern Ring Jeff Houslander, Ethan Hunt w/ Indigo Lantern Ring, Zombie 13-15, Orc 1 17-18

The mist is heavy, the fog is thick, and the night is dark on Elm Street. Daenerys Targaryen is walking the streets as she is lost and doesn’t know where she is or how she even got to this dark and dreary place.  She begins to think she is alone, that is until she begins to hear voices.  These aren’t just any voices, these are the voices of singing children.  Daenerys is confused as it's the middle of the night and there are no children in sight.  She grows tired and says “fuck it, I’m gona post up on this here bench.”  She begins to fall asleep while in fear because the voices have grown louder and closer. She hasn’t realized she may have made a fatal mistake as she has fallen asleep.

Daenerys thinks she has awoken but she is in yet another unfamiliar place.  She is at the Pit in Pawnee Indiana, but she isn’t alone.  She is surrounded by new faces who are also scared and on the verge of shitting said pants.  It's dark and barely anyone can see but then a single street light turns on and everyone is revealed.  Daenerys is with IG-88, a baby sandworm, and Mr.PoopyButthole himself.  Noises are beginning to grow loud but it isn’t the singing from before.  Zombies and Orcs begin to flood into the pit causing IG-88 to spring into action and blast them away with ease. 

Daenerys is starting to make sense of what is going on and realizes she isn’t in her world and is in a dream world, but she can’t understand why she isn’t in complete control.  That is until she hears laughter.  None other than Freedy Krueger himself has arrived with Jeff Houslander and Ethan Hunt.  All three who possess the power of a lantern ring.  Ethan Hunt springs into action to try and take down IG-88 as he has just killed his Zombie and Orc comrades.  No matter who they are Ethan Hunt will always defend and honor his own.  Ethan Hunt is surprised when he hears a loud screech but doesn’t understand what it is.  That is until Daenerys Dragon has come to her side to defend its mother.  Jeff Houslander becomes enraged as he sees the odds may be stacked against them and uses the powers of the Red Lantern ring to start whoopin some Dragon ass.  

Baby Sandworm and Mr.Poopybutthole are killed by the utter destruction that is being caused by a battle between Jeff Houslander and Daenerys.  The pit is now engulfed in flames and almost nothing is left.  Ethan Hunt has somehow escaped from the danger as he do and attempts to try and disable IG-88 but it won’t even matter.  The destruction caused by Jeff Houslander who has only grown stronger in this world because of Kruegar has alarmed IG-88 to the point where he sees no other option.  Self destruction is the only defense.  IG-88 walks through the flames into the center of the pit and lets out a scream saying “YUH” self destructs causing everyone in the fight to die. That is in the dream world that is.  Freedy Kruegar has gotten everyone killed in the dream world.

Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. The Dramatic Kittens of Luna

 Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are Superboy Prime, Tom Brady in the Hulk-Buster Iron Man Suit, Rebel Soldier #1 & 7, Honored Matre #1, and Boomerang Bro #1.

The Dramatic Kittens of Luna are Apocalypse and Michael Myers.

**NOTE**  This match should be read in the dark with a flashlight pointed up at your chin.

It is a dreary, cold, and calm night as a full moon that curiously adds more darkness than illumination  appears over the Pit.  Apocalypse stands tall in an enlarged form, whilst his new horsemen of death Michael embodies everything that is evil with his knife in hand.  A scarier sight has never been witnessed by the tired eyes of this seasoned Watcher than this duo of pure hatred and demonic wickedness.  Matched by this level of ungodliness is a different sin that is evident in their opponent being manifested in the uninhibited hubris of Superboy Prime.  Tom Brady rallies the rest of their troops behind Supes letting them know that they need to back up their star if they are going to have a chance at the frightening pair before them.  Few words are spoken before the action takes place, save these:

"Prepare to face the greatest Kryptonian of all time" says Superboy Prime arrogantly.

"Interesting claim before one battles against the greatest mutant and greatest murderer of all time" is the retort of Apocalypse.  

As Supes takes flight to gain the high ground, Tom Brady leads the charge with his brave soldiers behind him; but Tom is flung aside by a single punch from Apocalypse that sends Tom into an abandoned piece of construction machinery, destroying the equipment, knocking Brady unconscious, and bringing his suit down to 33% functionality.  After seeing their quarterback brushed aside so easily, the commons continue a valiant charge; but the rebel soldiers are brutally ripped apart by Michael, while Apocalypse easily stomps both the Honored Matre and the Boomerang Brother.  Superboy Prime sees this act and decides that as the sole, moving member of the Dino-Mites that it is his time to act.  Having no remorse for the team members he viewed as too weak for this battle defeated he comes down hard on Apocalypse with a double-handed punch.  A pitched battle ensues with Prime absorbing building leveling hits as if they were shots from a child's sling shot, the Kryptonian blasts Apocalypse with a potent shot of heat vision from the air and then swoops in to rip the mutant in half with relative ease.  Bloodlusted beyond anything the Kryptonian has ever experienced, his want for mayhem and death was still nothing compared to that of his next opponent.  Michael slowly walks toward Supes, who uses his arctic breath in an attempt to push him back, but Myers keeps walking through the breeze.  With an evil that is truly magical, Michael grabs Prime by the throat while simultaneously plunging his killing blade through the chest of Superboy Prime killing him as if he were simply another teenage coed.  Myers believes the contest to be over; but Brady's vital signs are still active.  As the former Michigan Wolverine comes to consciousness inside the battered and broken suit made by Tony Stark himself, he hears the voice of Jarvis telling him repeatedly to not be afraid and that he will be safe as long as he stays inside the defensive shell.  Brady shakes off the dizziness and bursts out of the Iron Man Suit with only the giant metal right hand and thrusters still attached to his body.  

"The only thing I fear is losing" exclaims Tom as he blasts the knife from Michael's hand, knocks the monstrous villain to the ground and pulverizes his head with the Hulk-buster fist until the boogie man is no more.

For there is much power in this world, much evil, much might, and much fear; but there is only one G.O.A.T.