**First of all, I would like to thank all of the team-owners who have already gotten their teams in. I would also like to apologize for how vague I have been with the deadlines. The teams for this week will be due on Sunday, and the Watchers will have two weeks to witness the matches and post the results. After this the league should get back to a normal schedule. Thank you all for your patience.
Points: 2500
Setting: The Play-off Planet (that means a little bit of everything)
Prize: A Green Lantern Ring
-TEAM Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips (Josh)
-The Untouchables Vs. Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kenelz of Lurve (Josh)
-Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. Team S.P. (Ryan)
-The Abomitrons Vs. Alice's Wonder Team (Josh)
-Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. Better Than All of You (Mike)
-George Washington's Slaves Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies (Bryan)
-Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Right Wing (Nick)
=Xavier's Annihilation Squad Vs. The Syracuse Valley (Bryan)
-Bruce's Bodacious Bullies Vs. Oblivio (Ryan)
-Logical Genocide Vs. Built Ford Tough (Josh)
-Hayley's Comets Vs. P.M.S. (Bryan)
-(The O & 5) Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. The Transfoamers (Ryan)
Friday, April 9, 2010
Beckerman's Backyardigans Beeyaatches vs Bruce's Bodacious Bullies
Beckerman's Backyardiagans Beeyaatches are Abe Sapien, Black Widow Shark, Belle, Capt. Nemo in the Nautilus, Killer Kroc, Naga, Mer-Man, Trident, Lizard, Rain, Hondo Maclean in Sea Attack, Sly Rax in Pirahna, Skullcruncher & Grax, Predator X #1-5, Skrull #6, 9, & 10, War Skrull #7, 8, & 10, Sentinel #1-18, & Sharkticon #1-10.
Bruce's Bodacious Bullies are Opee Sea Killer #9 & 10, Hydro-Man, Caiera the Oldstrong, The Leader (w/ a red lightsaber), Zodak, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Predator #49, Terminator #39, Xenomorph #53, Lord Dredd, Speed, Yondu, Maj. Vance Astro, Nightmare (w/ yellow power ring), Proteus, Plastic Man, Elrond, Elros, Elladan, Elrohir, Isilidor, Atlas, Magik, Eeth Koth, Starhawk, Starkiller, Nikki, Xio Jade, Aleta, Galadriel, Hellion, Blue Wizard #2, Patriot, Hulkling, Wiccan, Hawkeye, Stature, Iron Lad, Black Alice, Dr. Voodoo, The Stranger, & Theodred.
In the match for the two B3 teams, the eighteen Sentinels are sent in first and produce a devastating affect on the Bullies. They lay waste to the entire Guardians of the Galaxy as well as searching out and killing Magik and Hellion. But before their demise, the Bullies members do take out Sentinels #1, 3, 6, 10, 14, 15, and 18. Captain Nemo then orders the Sharkticons to attack. They swarm the Bullies and viciously rip apart Lord Dredd, Terminator #33, Predator #49, Leader, Xio Jade and Isilidor. Stature then grows to a massive size and starts crushing the Sharkticons. They then swarm here and claw their way up her body to her head. The Sentinels fly in and help out the transformers. They are able to take down the giant girl, but she eliminates Sentinel #11, and Sharkticons #6-10 before she dies. Hondo MacLean inside Sea Attack and Sly Rax inside Piranha drive across the water, firing their weapons at the Bullies, but Hydro-Man controls the very water they are driving on and uses it to swallow the two ships whole. The two Opee Sea Killers then attack the Black Widow Shark and rip it to pieces. The Creature from the Black Lagoon dives deep underwater and engages the Lizard. He is able to defeat the former Dr. Conners, but is then double teamed by Mer-Man and Killer Kroc. Mer-Man stabs him with his sword as Killer Croc crushes the Creature’s skull. Plastic Man has made himself into a large boat for several of his members to ride on. Elrond leads Elros, Elladan, Elrohir, and Thoedred against the War Skrulls and Skrulls. Elrond and Thoedred manage to kill all three Skrulls, but the War Skrulls have taken on the attributes of Doomsday, Vulcan and Dark Phoenix. The War Skrulls eventually rip through all of the Elves and the King of Rohan. Zodak then appears and uses his cosmic power to eradicate the three War Skrulls, as well as Naga. Captain Nemo then surfaces the Nautilus and fires several of it’s weapons, taking out Plastic Man, Hawkeye, Wiccan and Patriot. Caiera the Oldstrong manages to climb up onto the Nautilus and makes her way inside. She is quickly attacked by Nemo. He spins and flips with his saber, but she blocks most of the blows. She uses her vast strength to crush the captain against one of the Nautilus’s walls. But Nemo knew that this was a fight he could not win, so as a failsafe he armed the self destruct sequence. The Nautilus explodes in such a blast that it takes out Caiera, Speed, Eeth Koth, Blue Wizard #2, Iron Lad, Sharkticons #2 and 3, and Sentinels #7-9. Trident then swims quickly up behind Starkiller and runs him through with his trident. But Nightmare blasts him away soon after with his yellow power ring. Nightmare soon finds himself surrounded by seven Sentinels that are able to overpower him. The three remaining Sharkticons then quickly devour Hulkling. The Opee Sea Killers continue to look for prey deep underwater and soon find Skullcruncher and Grax. They rip apart Grax, but Skullcruncher in his crocodile form tears into Opee Sea Killer #1. The three Sharkticons swim down and finish off Opee Sea Killer soon after. The Stranger finally gets involved and uses his vast powers to vaporize the seven remaining Sentinels that have been causing his team severe damage. Galadriel then uses her magic on Belle and kills her with great ease. Unfortunately for her, it is with the same great ease that Killer Kroc kills her. Atlas then attacks Killer Kroc, in an attempt to avenge Galadriel. They struggle with each other as they fall deeper into the water, but eventually, and mainly due to the water atmosphere, Killer Kroc defeats Atlas. Abe Sapien then comes up out of the water and pulls of an amazing sniper shot and kills Zodak. Proteus sees this and takes control of Abe Sapien’s body and then liquefies the last of the Sharkticons. Rain then hits Abe Sapien/Proteus with his water blast and then hits him with his lightning fatality, which kills both Abe Sapien and Proteus. Black Alice targets Rain and steals his powers which weakens him and allows her to kill him with them. Dr. Voodoo and Black Alice the dive underwater to go after Mer-Man and Killer Kroc. Killer Kroc quickly swims up behind Dr. Voodoo and chomps down on his head before he can cast a spell. Black Alice then finds herself actually triple teamed by Mer-Man, Killer Kroc and Skullcruncher. But all of a sudden, those three are being dragged deeper and deeper underwater. Hydro-Man, who has been lying low since the early parts of the battle, is controlling the water, dragging them down to crushing depths. And in probably the biggest upset in this season…
BRUCE’S BODACIOUS BULLIES ARE VICTORIOUS!!
Bruce's Bodacious Bullies are Opee Sea Killer #9 & 10, Hydro-Man, Caiera the Oldstrong, The Leader (w/ a red lightsaber), Zodak, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Predator #49, Terminator #39, Xenomorph #53, Lord Dredd, Speed, Yondu, Maj. Vance Astro, Nightmare (w/ yellow power ring), Proteus, Plastic Man, Elrond, Elros, Elladan, Elrohir, Isilidor, Atlas, Magik, Eeth Koth, Starhawk, Starkiller, Nikki, Xio Jade, Aleta, Galadriel, Hellion, Blue Wizard #2, Patriot, Hulkling, Wiccan, Hawkeye, Stature, Iron Lad, Black Alice, Dr. Voodoo, The Stranger, & Theodred.
In the match for the two B3 teams, the eighteen Sentinels are sent in first and produce a devastating affect on the Bullies. They lay waste to the entire Guardians of the Galaxy as well as searching out and killing Magik and Hellion. But before their demise, the Bullies members do take out Sentinels #1, 3, 6, 10, 14, 15, and 18. Captain Nemo then orders the Sharkticons to attack. They swarm the Bullies and viciously rip apart Lord Dredd, Terminator #33, Predator #49, Leader, Xio Jade and Isilidor. Stature then grows to a massive size and starts crushing the Sharkticons. They then swarm here and claw their way up her body to her head. The Sentinels fly in and help out the transformers. They are able to take down the giant girl, but she eliminates Sentinel #11, and Sharkticons #6-10 before she dies. Hondo MacLean inside Sea Attack and Sly Rax inside Piranha drive across the water, firing their weapons at the Bullies, but Hydro-Man controls the very water they are driving on and uses it to swallow the two ships whole. The two Opee Sea Killers then attack the Black Widow Shark and rip it to pieces. The Creature from the Black Lagoon dives deep underwater and engages the Lizard. He is able to defeat the former Dr. Conners, but is then double teamed by Mer-Man and Killer Kroc. Mer-Man stabs him with his sword as Killer Croc crushes the Creature’s skull. Plastic Man has made himself into a large boat for several of his members to ride on. Elrond leads Elros, Elladan, Elrohir, and Thoedred against the War Skrulls and Skrulls. Elrond and Thoedred manage to kill all three Skrulls, but the War Skrulls have taken on the attributes of Doomsday, Vulcan and Dark Phoenix. The War Skrulls eventually rip through all of the Elves and the King of Rohan. Zodak then appears and uses his cosmic power to eradicate the three War Skrulls, as well as Naga. Captain Nemo then surfaces the Nautilus and fires several of it’s weapons, taking out Plastic Man, Hawkeye, Wiccan and Patriot. Caiera the Oldstrong manages to climb up onto the Nautilus and makes her way inside. She is quickly attacked by Nemo. He spins and flips with his saber, but she blocks most of the blows. She uses her vast strength to crush the captain against one of the Nautilus’s walls. But Nemo knew that this was a fight he could not win, so as a failsafe he armed the self destruct sequence. The Nautilus explodes in such a blast that it takes out Caiera, Speed, Eeth Koth, Blue Wizard #2, Iron Lad, Sharkticons #2 and 3, and Sentinels #7-9. Trident then swims quickly up behind Starkiller and runs him through with his trident. But Nightmare blasts him away soon after with his yellow power ring. Nightmare soon finds himself surrounded by seven Sentinels that are able to overpower him. The three remaining Sharkticons then quickly devour Hulkling. The Opee Sea Killers continue to look for prey deep underwater and soon find Skullcruncher and Grax. They rip apart Grax, but Skullcruncher in his crocodile form tears into Opee Sea Killer #1. The three Sharkticons swim down and finish off Opee Sea Killer soon after. The Stranger finally gets involved and uses his vast powers to vaporize the seven remaining Sentinels that have been causing his team severe damage. Galadriel then uses her magic on Belle and kills her with great ease. Unfortunately for her, it is with the same great ease that Killer Kroc kills her. Atlas then attacks Killer Kroc, in an attempt to avenge Galadriel. They struggle with each other as they fall deeper into the water, but eventually, and mainly due to the water atmosphere, Killer Kroc defeats Atlas. Abe Sapien then comes up out of the water and pulls of an amazing sniper shot and kills Zodak. Proteus sees this and takes control of Abe Sapien’s body and then liquefies the last of the Sharkticons. Rain then hits Abe Sapien/Proteus with his water blast and then hits him with his lightning fatality, which kills both Abe Sapien and Proteus. Black Alice targets Rain and steals his powers which weakens him and allows her to kill him with them. Dr. Voodoo and Black Alice the dive underwater to go after Mer-Man and Killer Kroc. Killer Kroc quickly swims up behind Dr. Voodoo and chomps down on his head before he can cast a spell. Black Alice then finds herself actually triple teamed by Mer-Man, Killer Kroc and Skullcruncher. But all of a sudden, those three are being dragged deeper and deeper underwater. Hydro-Man, who has been lying low since the early parts of the battle, is controlling the water, dragging them down to crushing depths. And in probably the biggest upset in this season…
BRUCE’S BODACIOUS BULLIES ARE VICTORIOUS!!
Hayley's Comets vs Xavier's Annihilation Squad
Hayley's Comets are Terminator #38, Xenomorph #54, Hordack (w/ a yellow power ring), The Justice Force: Silver Sentry, Ananda, Metal Head (w/ 2 green lightsabers), Chrysalis, Tsunami, Nobody, Raptarr, Nano, Green Mantle, & Boomerang, Ash (w/ Mandalorian Armor), Grottle, Wartortle, Infernape, Dialga, Palkia, Rayquazza, Regirock, Empoleon, Prinplup, Piplup, Charmeleon, Mew, Mewtoo, Blastois, Jiggly Puff, Wiggly Tuff, Diglet, Drago, The Defenders Of The Earth: Flash Gordon, The Phantom, Mandrake the Magician, Lothar, Lothar Jr., Rick Gordon, Jedda Walker, Kshin, & Zuffy, Neo-Cymek #19, Predator #50, Cybertronian Guardian #8, 8-Ball, 6-Ball, 9-Ball, & 11-Ball, Junkeon #15 & 16, Dementor #6 & 9, Halk Karr, Omac, Trygon, Zombie Arisia, Ewok #76, Doozer #3, The Thunderbolts: Songbird, Radioactive Man, Swordsman, Mister X, Headsman, & Ghost, The Marauders: Scalphunter, Arclight, Malice, Harpoon, Blockbuster, Prism, Riptide, Scrambler, & Vertigo, The Shining Force, The Ninja Tribunal: Kon-Shisho, Judo-Shisho, Chikara-Shisho, Hisami-Shisho, The Pet Avengers: Throg, Red Wing, Hairball, & Ms. Lion, Cyber Force: Stryker, Cyblade, Ripclaw, Velocity, Ballistic, Heatwave, & Impact, & Mace & Cindel Towani.
Xavier's Annihilation Squad is Barbarossa & his crew (5 dudes), Davey Jones and his crew (5 dudes), Ninja Pirate #1 & 2, Pirate #11 & 12, The Kracken, Ursa, Supergirl, G-girl, The Eradicator, Supreme & Radar, Suprema, Silver Racer, Geo-Force, Avalanche, Metron, Molecule Man, Speedball, Imotep, The Aerialbots, The Terrorcons, Killer Moth, Sailor Moon, Windhammer, Jonny Barracuda, Soaron, Blastarr, Darth Scarz, Darth Voltress, Darth Ocron, Zombie Josh Houslander riding on Zombie Silver Dragon #3, Lurch, & Treasure Troll #5.
“I want this match over quickly. Our last water battle was too close for my liking,” orders Davy Jones. “RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!” The water then begins to violently move beneath the line-up that Hayley’s Comets have sent out. The tentacles from the Kraken bursts out of the water and kills Zuffy, Kshin, 9-Ball, 11-Ball, Scrambler, Heatwave, Mace Towani, Cindel Towani and Rick Gordon. The Kraken then comes further out of the water and devours Lothar, Lothar Jr. Ewok #76, Doozer #3, and Drago. “We’ve got to do something or this battle won’t last much longer!” yells Halk Karr. He then takes flight along side Silver Sentry, as they both fly towards the enormous sea monster. They are then, however, blindsided by the team of Supergirl, Ursa, G-Girl, and Suprema. “Yeah, I don’t think so,” says G-Girl as she belts Silver Sentry in across the jaw. Halk Karr grabs a hold of Suprema and crushes her neck before she can attack. Silver Sentry then comes back and gives G-Girl a double uppercut, which snaps her neck. Ursa and Supergirl then continue the attack against the Comet’s two powerhouses. Silver Sentry and Halk Karr begin to gain an upper hand, but only for a moment, because The Eradicator and Supreme fly in and help the girls defeat the duo. The Marauders then storm the deck of the Black Pearl and begin to battle the skeleton crew. They are able to overthrow and kill all of the crewmembers as well as Barbarossa, but Arclight is killed during the attack. Scalphunter then takes command of the ship and orders a full out assault on the Flying Dutchman. The rest of the Marauders take aim with both their powers and the ships cannons. They fire and start ripping into the ghost ship. They kill several crewmembers, including both Ninja Pirates. Davy Jones then uses his power of teleportation to move his crew from the Dutchman to the Black Pearl and confronts the Marauders face to face. He runs Scalphunter through with his sword as the rest of his crew kill Harpoon, Prism and Riptide. Davy Jones then has his crew capture the three remaining members of the Marauders and drop them to their knees. “Do you fear death?” Jones asks Malice. She then tries to possess the Dutchman’s captain, but does not succeed. “Oh lass, that won’t work on the likes of me. No prisoners!” shouts Jones as his crew kills the rest of the mutant hunters. The Kraken is still ravaging the ranks of the Comets as it kills and eats the entire Shining Force, shrugging off their Blaze 1, Freeze 1 and other various weaker magic spells. The Aerialbots and the Terrorcons both form Superion and Abominus and in a rare team up they take down Cybertronian Guardian #8. But Neo-Cymek #19 blasts Abominus in the back, killing Hun-Grrr and breaking apart the combiner. It then takes several more shots and destroys Rippersnapper and Sinnertwin. Superion then breaks apart and the Aerialbots transform into their jets, take flight and attack the Neo-Cymek. They then all dive bomb in formation, killing Neo-Cymek #19. The Justice Force now groups together, being lead by Tsunami against Imhotep and Zombie Josh Houslander, who is riding upon Zombie Silver Dragon #3. Tsunami tries to use his water power, but Imhotep is much more powerful and drowns Boomerang, Nobody, and Tsunami. Zombie Josh Houslander leaps off of the Zombie Silver Dragon at Metal Head, but is cut into pieces by Metal Head’s two green lightsabers. The Zombie Silver Dragon flies up and eats both Ananda and Chrysalis before it is destroyed by Green Mantle. Ash, who is in his Mandalorian Armor, then pulls out his pokeballs and launches them into the air. The pokeballs open up and out come seventeen Pokemon. Regirock sinks to its death, due to its solid rock form. Charmeleon doesn’t fare any better in the water. They all descend upon the Flying Dutchman and are finally able to defeat the ghost ship. With Davy Jones dead, the Kraken once again starts killing wildly, this time taking out, Lurch, Killer Moth, Speedball, Jiggly Puff, Wiggly Tuff, Diglet, Windhammer and Treasure Troll #5. Silver Racer then flies in and manages to kill the entire Ninja Tribunal. Trigon then attempts to turn the tides (pun totally intended) in his team’s favor, and destroys the Kraken. He then follows it up by easily killing Silver Racer and Supreme. This is the opportunity that the Comets gravely needed. Hordak flies into action and creates a giant yellow energy bat that eats Sailor Moon. Predator #50 blows Soaron and Blastarr out of the sky with his shoulder mounted cannon. Metal Head then is surround by three Sith Lords; Darth Scarz, Darth Voltress and Darth Ocron. He uses his metal hair to kill Darth Scarz before he succumbs to Voltress and Ocron’s lightsabers. The Pet Avengers surround and attack Radar, but the super powered dog kills Red Wing, Hairball, and Ms. Lion with unbelievable ease. Throg, however, isn’t as easily defeated. The Frog Thor brings his hammer down on the dog’s head, crushing its skull. Geo-Force and Avalanche then use their powers to pull up the ocean floor, allowing for a small battlefield. They then create massive earthquakes beneath the ocean, which then cause enormous tidal waves. The walls of water kill Terminator #38, Swordsman, Impact, Mandrake the Magician, Jedda Walker, 8-Ball, and 6-Ball. Dialga then stops time, trying to give its team an advantage, but Metron doesn’t let this happen. Instead, Metron starts time again and kills all of the Pokemon and Ash. Johnny Barracuda is attacked and killed by The Phantom as Flash Gordon attacks Avalanche. Flash is able to kill the mutant, but Geo-Force crushes Flash and The Phantom with some of the ocean floor. Ripclaw leaps at Geo-Force and savagely rips him open with his claws. The rest of Cyberforce gain control of the ocean floor that Geo-Force and Avalanche brought up. The Aerialbots then do a strafing run over it, and kill Cyblade, and Velocity. Stryker and Ballistic are able to shoot down Air Raid, Sky Dive and Slingshot however. Blot and Cutthroat then attack and kill the rest of Cyberforce, before they can do anymore damage to the Aerialbots. Molecule Man then moves into action, disintegrating Omac and the entire Thunderbolts team. The remaining members of the Annihilation Squad form together and prepare for their final assault. Hayley’s Comets knows that there is but only a small chance at victory, but are determined to take that chance. Trigon attacks Metron first and their god-like powers counteracts each other, which results in the destruction of both. The Eradicator then engages both Green Mantle and Hordak. The two try their best, but Green Mantle is the first to fall. Eradicator then powers through Hordak’s yellow energy and grabs a hold of Hordak. But this is exactly what he was hoping for, as he blasts a hole right through Eradicator with a massive bolt of magic. The two remaining Terrorcons then make short work of the Junkeons. Dementors #6 and #9 then attack Imhotep, but it is for not, as Imhotep has no soul or life to steal. Molecule Man then obliterates the two Dementors as Imhotep once again uses the water as a weapon to drown Predator #50. Zombie Arisia then takes a bite out of Darth Voltress as she lops off Darth Ocron’s head with a blast from her power ring. But Supergirl flies up and ends Zombie Arisia’s life by ripping her rotting head right off of her shoulders. Throg flies up next to Hordak as Xenomorph tries to attack Ursa. The alien swipes and claws at her but she uses her freeze breath to freeze it solid before she shatters it into a million pieces from a mighty punch. Throg and Hordak make one last stand, but the combined power of the Annihilation Squad is too much for them to overcome.
XAVIER’S ANNIHILATION SQUAD IS VICTORIOUS!!
Xavier's Annihilation Squad is Barbarossa & his crew (5 dudes), Davey Jones and his crew (5 dudes), Ninja Pirate #1 & 2, Pirate #11 & 12, The Kracken, Ursa, Supergirl, G-girl, The Eradicator, Supreme & Radar, Suprema, Silver Racer, Geo-Force, Avalanche, Metron, Molecule Man, Speedball, Imotep, The Aerialbots, The Terrorcons, Killer Moth, Sailor Moon, Windhammer, Jonny Barracuda, Soaron, Blastarr, Darth Scarz, Darth Voltress, Darth Ocron, Zombie Josh Houslander riding on Zombie Silver Dragon #3, Lurch, & Treasure Troll #5.
“I want this match over quickly. Our last water battle was too close for my liking,” orders Davy Jones. “RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!” The water then begins to violently move beneath the line-up that Hayley’s Comets have sent out. The tentacles from the Kraken bursts out of the water and kills Zuffy, Kshin, 9-Ball, 11-Ball, Scrambler, Heatwave, Mace Towani, Cindel Towani and Rick Gordon. The Kraken then comes further out of the water and devours Lothar, Lothar Jr. Ewok #76, Doozer #3, and Drago. “We’ve got to do something or this battle won’t last much longer!” yells Halk Karr. He then takes flight along side Silver Sentry, as they both fly towards the enormous sea monster. They are then, however, blindsided by the team of Supergirl, Ursa, G-Girl, and Suprema. “Yeah, I don’t think so,” says G-Girl as she belts Silver Sentry in across the jaw. Halk Karr grabs a hold of Suprema and crushes her neck before she can attack. Silver Sentry then comes back and gives G-Girl a double uppercut, which snaps her neck. Ursa and Supergirl then continue the attack against the Comet’s two powerhouses. Silver Sentry and Halk Karr begin to gain an upper hand, but only for a moment, because The Eradicator and Supreme fly in and help the girls defeat the duo. The Marauders then storm the deck of the Black Pearl and begin to battle the skeleton crew. They are able to overthrow and kill all of the crewmembers as well as Barbarossa, but Arclight is killed during the attack. Scalphunter then takes command of the ship and orders a full out assault on the Flying Dutchman. The rest of the Marauders take aim with both their powers and the ships cannons. They fire and start ripping into the ghost ship. They kill several crewmembers, including both Ninja Pirates. Davy Jones then uses his power of teleportation to move his crew from the Dutchman to the Black Pearl and confronts the Marauders face to face. He runs Scalphunter through with his sword as the rest of his crew kill Harpoon, Prism and Riptide. Davy Jones then has his crew capture the three remaining members of the Marauders and drop them to their knees. “Do you fear death?” Jones asks Malice. She then tries to possess the Dutchman’s captain, but does not succeed. “Oh lass, that won’t work on the likes of me. No prisoners!” shouts Jones as his crew kills the rest of the mutant hunters. The Kraken is still ravaging the ranks of the Comets as it kills and eats the entire Shining Force, shrugging off their Blaze 1, Freeze 1 and other various weaker magic spells. The Aerialbots and the Terrorcons both form Superion and Abominus and in a rare team up they take down Cybertronian Guardian #8. But Neo-Cymek #19 blasts Abominus in the back, killing Hun-Grrr and breaking apart the combiner. It then takes several more shots and destroys Rippersnapper and Sinnertwin. Superion then breaks apart and the Aerialbots transform into their jets, take flight and attack the Neo-Cymek. They then all dive bomb in formation, killing Neo-Cymek #19. The Justice Force now groups together, being lead by Tsunami against Imhotep and Zombie Josh Houslander, who is riding upon Zombie Silver Dragon #3. Tsunami tries to use his water power, but Imhotep is much more powerful and drowns Boomerang, Nobody, and Tsunami. Zombie Josh Houslander leaps off of the Zombie Silver Dragon at Metal Head, but is cut into pieces by Metal Head’s two green lightsabers. The Zombie Silver Dragon flies up and eats both Ananda and Chrysalis before it is destroyed by Green Mantle. Ash, who is in his Mandalorian Armor, then pulls out his pokeballs and launches them into the air. The pokeballs open up and out come seventeen Pokemon. Regirock sinks to its death, due to its solid rock form. Charmeleon doesn’t fare any better in the water. They all descend upon the Flying Dutchman and are finally able to defeat the ghost ship. With Davy Jones dead, the Kraken once again starts killing wildly, this time taking out, Lurch, Killer Moth, Speedball, Jiggly Puff, Wiggly Tuff, Diglet, Windhammer and Treasure Troll #5. Silver Racer then flies in and manages to kill the entire Ninja Tribunal. Trigon then attempts to turn the tides (pun totally intended) in his team’s favor, and destroys the Kraken. He then follows it up by easily killing Silver Racer and Supreme. This is the opportunity that the Comets gravely needed. Hordak flies into action and creates a giant yellow energy bat that eats Sailor Moon. Predator #50 blows Soaron and Blastarr out of the sky with his shoulder mounted cannon. Metal Head then is surround by three Sith Lords; Darth Scarz, Darth Voltress and Darth Ocron. He uses his metal hair to kill Darth Scarz before he succumbs to Voltress and Ocron’s lightsabers. The Pet Avengers surround and attack Radar, but the super powered dog kills Red Wing, Hairball, and Ms. Lion with unbelievable ease. Throg, however, isn’t as easily defeated. The Frog Thor brings his hammer down on the dog’s head, crushing its skull. Geo-Force and Avalanche then use their powers to pull up the ocean floor, allowing for a small battlefield. They then create massive earthquakes beneath the ocean, which then cause enormous tidal waves. The walls of water kill Terminator #38, Swordsman, Impact, Mandrake the Magician, Jedda Walker, 8-Ball, and 6-Ball. Dialga then stops time, trying to give its team an advantage, but Metron doesn’t let this happen. Instead, Metron starts time again and kills all of the Pokemon and Ash. Johnny Barracuda is attacked and killed by The Phantom as Flash Gordon attacks Avalanche. Flash is able to kill the mutant, but Geo-Force crushes Flash and The Phantom with some of the ocean floor. Ripclaw leaps at Geo-Force and savagely rips him open with his claws. The rest of Cyberforce gain control of the ocean floor that Geo-Force and Avalanche brought up. The Aerialbots then do a strafing run over it, and kill Cyblade, and Velocity. Stryker and Ballistic are able to shoot down Air Raid, Sky Dive and Slingshot however. Blot and Cutthroat then attack and kill the rest of Cyberforce, before they can do anymore damage to the Aerialbots. Molecule Man then moves into action, disintegrating Omac and the entire Thunderbolts team. The remaining members of the Annihilation Squad form together and prepare for their final assault. Hayley’s Comets knows that there is but only a small chance at victory, but are determined to take that chance. Trigon attacks Metron first and their god-like powers counteracts each other, which results in the destruction of both. The Eradicator then engages both Green Mantle and Hordak. The two try their best, but Green Mantle is the first to fall. Eradicator then powers through Hordak’s yellow energy and grabs a hold of Hordak. But this is exactly what he was hoping for, as he blasts a hole right through Eradicator with a massive bolt of magic. The two remaining Terrorcons then make short work of the Junkeons. Dementors #6 and #9 then attack Imhotep, but it is for not, as Imhotep has no soul or life to steal. Molecule Man then obliterates the two Dementors as Imhotep once again uses the water as a weapon to drown Predator #50. Zombie Arisia then takes a bite out of Darth Voltress as she lops off Darth Ocron’s head with a blast from her power ring. But Supergirl flies up and ends Zombie Arisia’s life by ripping her rotting head right off of her shoulders. Throg flies up next to Hordak as Xenomorph tries to attack Ursa. The alien swipes and claws at her but she uses her freeze breath to freeze it solid before she shatters it into a million pieces from a mighty punch. Throg and Hordak make one last stand, but the combined power of the Annihilation Squad is too much for them to overcome.
XAVIER’S ANNIHILATION SQUAD IS VICTORIOUS!!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Week 5, PMS vs The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets
The Midgets are Bat-Mite, Kermit the Frog, Magneto, N.S-5 35 & 36, Magwai #1 & 2, Star Sapphire #1-5, Zombie Silver Dragon #2, Dr. Impossible, Squirtle, Tom Bombadill, Indigo Lantern #2, Ewok Baby #1 & 2, Nosyarg Kcid, Queen Aga'po, Larfleeze, Salack, Katma Tui, G'Kd, Bleez, Tri-eye, Mangy Mouse, Ganthet & Sayd, Air Zonk w/ Power Dump & Astra, Blue Lantern #1, (original) Duncan Idaho, Duncan Idaho Ghola #5, Gobo, Mokey, Evil Dwarf #1, Ginaz Swordsmen #11-13, Ancient Ginaz Swordsmen #1-3, Hammer Bros. #11-16, Bene Gesserit Reverend Mother #1 & 2, New Sister Reverend Mother #1, Honored Matre #1, Bene Gesserit #1 & 2, Dark Side Akolyte #1-3, Dark Side Adept #1-3, Gold Dragon #3-8, Noa & Teek, Bontu Sitmus w/ Jedi Padawan #34, & Bill Kelly (w/ a blue lightsaber).
PMS Are: Abbey Chase, Secret Agent Zero, Sydney Savage, Seaquest, The Seaquest Crew, (Consisting Of: Nathan Bridger, Lucas Wolenczak, Dr. Westphalen, Commander John Ford, Lt. Benjamin Krieg, Chief Manilow Corcker, Tim O'Niel, Lt. James Brody, Dagwood, and Anthony Piccolo.) Darwin, Xenomorph #51, River Tam, Balrog #2, The Peach, Assasin X, Major Maxim, Natalie Kassle, Nateri, Sam Whitwicky, Pixie, Armor, Typhoid Mary, Terra, Dr. Boom Boom Pow, Evette, Bagwa, Groudious Maximus, Gingerbread People #1-3, Mr. Mint, Gramma Nut, King Kandy, Jolly, Plumpy, Princess Lolly, Queen Frostine, Lord Licorice, Gloppy, Tug Speedman, Kirk Lazarus, Jeff Portnoy, Alpa Chino, Kevin Sandusky, Jack Sparrow, The Leprechaun, The Sentry, IG-88, Blue Beetle.
The waters surrounding the post apocalyptic city of waterworld are reasonably calm. The oil fires were emitting a pleasant glow and illuminating the forces of PMS who were planning their defense of the city.
"Look, we got a mutant who can manipulate metal, some big ass dragons, a bunch of dudes I've never heard of who keep muttering about mentats and spice, and frikkin squirtle so listen up!" said King Kandy. He was hunched over a map of the the city and plotting out defenses.
The Danger Girl squad was posted on the north wall, the Seaquest crew was submerged deep underwater awaiting an amphibious assault, and everyone else was set on patrol.
The midgets however were not even in the same hemisphere. They had found Dry Land and were mounting their attack. Indigo Lantern #2 began to teleport the Brotherhood into the fight in small groups dropping them at unpatrolled areas of the city.
"Un-named warriors? really? This is no arena for cannon fodder!" shouted the sentry, who began to slaughter anyone whose name he didn't know.
He started with The hammer brothers, deftly avoiding their arcing hammers and tearing them apart one after another... Half expecting numbers to fly up in increasing amounts above their heads the killing happened so quickly. He then turned his attention to the Dark Side Akolyte's and Adepts, who he slaughtered in similar fashion, flying so fast into them that they were torn apart simply by the force of his passing.
The Sentry then scanned the city for another weak target.
Ganthet and Sayd appeared over the city.
"How about these commons you idiot?" and with that the five Gold dragons appeared and proceeded to rend the sentry limb from limb.
"Ooh" said The Leprechaun "I love gold!" and with that he began to play his magic flute.
The flute reached out to a fellow glutton, Larfleeze who immediately created an army of orange lanterns and tore the yellow dragons apart. The Zombified Silver dragon, craving flesh began to consume the orange constructs, not realizing that they were not real. However Larfleeze was marched right into the gaping maw of the zombie silver dragon by the leprechaun's flute.
"Mind Control? Heh, try this on for size little man..." Said, Dr. Impossible.
He then used his hush-tubes to bring in the rest of the team all at once.
The Danger Girl squad managed to kill Tom Bombadill, Duncan Idaho, and Ghola #5 before being destroyed by a mind controlled Bill Kelly.
Kelly's lightsaber flashed through the air, cutting through Xenomorph #51, and the Hammer Empire.
"What the hell is going on?" he said surprised at his own battle prowess.
"Well," said Dr. Impossible, "I figured you could use a little boost so my Fatherbox is controlling your mind, enhancing your reflexes and strength."
"oh, ok then." said bill as he plunged his saber through all three gingerbread people, the sickly sweet smell of super-heated cookies filled the air.
Nateri had had enough at this point, "enough of this madness, I've come to this land of metal and burning fuel, I have not seen a tree since we got here, and it's time to end this.
Nateri then proceeded to work her way through the midgets, she gutted Bat-Mite like a fish, then she sliced Kermit neatly in half, his stuffing flying all over the place. Nosyarg Kcid crooked his finger, attempting to help the situation and accidentally teleported half of the midgets out into the open water. The Reverend mothers and their entourage struggled to stay afloat long enough to see the missile coming from below them.
The Seaquest had entered the fight.
Magneto decided to step in at this point, intending to crush the submarine like a tin can. However the seaquest's genetically engineered skin hampered Magnetos abilities.
Long enough for the Seaquest to go nuclear.
The Seaquest nuclear SLBM missiles impacted the city, Killing the gingerbread crew, the band of dungeons and dragons adventurers turned to dust, Sam Whitwicky, Terra, Pixie.
Blue Beetle grabbed Armor and River Tam and hurled them off the island, sacrificing himself in the process.
IG-88 also dove off the island city, immediately regretting his decision, he short circuited immediately upon entering the water. Nateri dove off after him swimming easily through the water.
Everyone else on the island was vaporized.
"Nok."
The Indigo lantern, teleporting the baby ewoks off the island before the heat from the blast could strike them. They arrived safely on Dry Land.
The crew of the seaquest finally succumbed to magneto's power, the hull breached and flooded immediately killing everyone aboard.
Dr. Impossible did not escape the blast unfortunately, his hush-tubes and fatherbox going completely unused, and also ridiculously named.
Magneto arrived at Dry Land, towing the Two NS-5 robots... they had unfortunately been scrambled by his magnetic powers.
THe indigo Lantern, Magneto, and the baby Ewoks were contemplating their victory, unaware that Darwin the dolphin doesn't actually spend much time IN the seaquest... Nateri, Armor, and River were all holding on to his fins as he sped them towards Dry Land.
"Suck it Magnet boy!" Darwin said as he leapt powerfully into the air, landing on shore and catapulting River Tam and Nateri directly into Magneto.
The two women sliced and pummeled magneto Rivers hand to hand skills requiring no weapons, and Nateri's organic blades completely immune to his powers. Armor's Kinetic Armor allowed her to Crush the baby ewoks into pulp and Indigo Lantern, exhausted from all the travel was an easy target for the three women. They had plenty of time to cart Darwin back to the water before he dried out.
Team PMS is Victorious!
Armor, Nateri, Armor and Darwin survive.
The midgets are all dead.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve vs Logical Genocide
Michael Vicks Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Calypso, Triton, Tracy Strauss, Marco Aleksandrovich Ramius in the Red October, 5 Navy Seals, 2 Navy Seal CPOs, 6 Argonauts in the Argo, Beast Boy, Fin Fang Foom, Nova, Terrax, Firelord, Hrmm, Ajax, Barbarossa, Saint Walker, Indigo 1, Monk, 4 Green Lanterns, 6 Oa Guardians, The Wonder Twins: Zan and Jayna, The U.S.S. Nimitz, Anakin Skywalker in a F-22, Ahsoka Tano in a F-22, Mace Windu in a F-22 and Jack Bauer in a F-18.
Logical Genocide is Mera, 2 Gremlins, Neo-Cymek #8, Robert and Melissa in Air Ford One, Nekron, Chris Seeney in KITT, Red Lantern #2, 6 Warwolves, Dr Deathbrain, Living Killing Rollercoaster, C.F. Smurf, Prometheus, Black Dragon #11, Zombie Tyler Durden, Zombie Marine #2, Manhunter 1 & 2, Dementor #8, Xenomorph #52, Predator #48, Terminator #40, Jedi #28, Iron Patriot, 5 Triceratons, Moonstone, The Hood, Bronze Tiger, Jason Todd, Magmar, Cody Jones, Serling, Ewok #74, Titan Force 5 as Titan Maximum, Cybertronian Guardian #9, Shatterstar, Ion, Adam Strange, and V w/Yellow Power Ring.
“They may be 0 and 4, but this team is not to be taken lightly,” says Mace Windu to the rest of his team. “Yeah, but you’re looking at the 4 and 0 Kennelz,” replies Anakin Skywalker. “And we’re about to be 5 and 0 Master,” Ahsoka Tano chimes in. They soon see the full forces of Logical Genocide, with the small exception of Robert and Melissa, who are notably absent from the match. Either they didn’t bother to show up or they decided to enter the Water World battle inside Air Ford One, which is just a Ford Escort. It appears to be that this is exactly what happened as Marco Aleksandrovich Ramius spots them from inside the Red October. Air Ford One sinks rapidly as Robert and Melissa drown inside. The six Warwolves on Logical Genocide dive deep under water and attack the Russian submarine. They begin to tear open the hull of the submergible and are able to breech the interior. Ramius knows that he and his two Navy Seals are finished, and causes a chain reaction inside the nuclear engine, which destroys both the Red October as well as the Warwolves. Back up on the water’s surface, Neo-Cymek #8, better known as Ed, is being triple teamed by Hrmm, Ajax and Barbarossa. Ed isn’t able to put up much of a fight and dies as a result. The Argo sails into battle, but finds itself overcome by gremlins, which have all be produced by Logical Genocide’s Gremlins, Howard and Marv, being dunked in the water. There are currently thousands of Gremlins scurrying up onto the Argo and taking it over. The six Argonauts fight valiantly (just like they did against the living skeletons) but there are simply waaaaaay too many Gremlins for them to survive. Firelord then flies in and puts an end to all this Gremlin madness. He, along with Nova, uses their cosmic energy to fry the thousands of Gremlins that are multiplying by the moment in the water. The six Triceratons are having an awfully hard time staying afloat, due to their sheer size. Their worries of drowning are soon realized as Calypso uses her water powers to drag all of them to the bottom of the ocean floor. “Wonder Twins powers activate! Form of water! Form of Sea Serpent!” shouts Zan and Jayna. They then overtake and kill Ewok #74, Cody Jones, Serling and Zombie Tyler Durden. Tracy Strauss then doesn’t want to be shown up by some pointy eared twins and proceeds to drown Dr. Deathbrain and the Living Killing Rollercoaster. “Enough!! This is my home, and you WILL NOT BEAT US HERE!” yells Mera. “Yeah, we’ll see about that,” retorts Tracy Strauss as she turns herself into water. “Yes, we will,” says Mera as she takes control of the water forms of Tracy Strauss and Jayna uses them to drown Zan before she fires them both out of the water, where Ion and V are waiting. The two of them destroy the water beings with a combo of yellow and green energy. Mera then swims as fast as she can right at Triton and snaps his neck before he can even react. “You tink you con control da water? Why don’cha try an control me?” an ever growing Calypso says to Mera. The angered bride of Aquaman is not intimidated by Calypso’s threats and she hurls herself right at the sea witch. The two of them battle fiercely, causing giant waves and massive whirlpools. “Crap, this is making it really hard to drive this thing,” Chris Seeney says to himself inside K.I.T.T., which is utilizing its Third Stage Aquatic Synthesizer to hydroplane on the water. The waves cause Seeney to go out of control and crash against the side of the U.S.S. Nimitz. The explosion does manage to kill a Navy Seal in the process. It’s at this point were Mace Windu orders an all out assault to end this battle. One by one, Mace, Anakin, Ahsoka and Jack Bauer all take off of the U.S.S. Nimitz inside their respected jet planes. They in perfect formation dive towards the water and lay waste to Zombie Marine #2, C.F. Smurf, Jedi #28, Jason Todd, Bronze Tiger, Magmar, Shatterstar, and Terminator #40. Red Lantern #2 then flies after Jack Bauer’s F-18 and is hot on his tail. “Damn it, I can’t shake him,” grumbles Bauer. The Red Lantern fires several shots of red energy, which Jack is barely able to avoid. “Don’t worry, I got you,” Anakin says as he loops around and blasts Red Lantern #2 out of the sky. The water begins to settle down as the battle between Mera and Calypso seems to be coming to an end. The water calms down and both competitors are floating there, lifeless. “Ion, this is Iron Patriot. Mera was our best shot at a victory. We have to do something, and quick!” says Norman Osborn. Ion then swoops down and blows Hrmm, Ajax, and Barbarossa out of the water with such easy it was almost like they were schooners and not enormous robot ships. This allows the rest of Logical Genocide to swarm the deck of the U.S.S. Nimitz. Xenomorph #52 quickly kills the two Navy Seal CPO’s aboard the aircraft carrier. Predator #48 then hunts down and kills the two remaining Navy Seals just as quickly. Black Dragon #11 (“Cyphyllic”) flies overhead, but is attacked by the four Green Lanterns. It kills Green Lantern #5 with a powerful spray of acid, before the other three are able to take it out. Manhunters #1 and #2 fly up and blindside the Green Lanterns, killing GL #2 and GL #4. Saint Walker, Indigo 1 and Monk fly up and aid the last Green Lantern. Saint Walker bolsters the Twi’lek Green Lantern’s power ring, which allows her to destroy Manhunter #1 as the two Indigo Lanterns take care of Manhunter #2. Dementor #8, however, flies straight up and sucks the very soul right out of Monk before anyone can defend him. Saint Walker uses his blue energy of hope in combination with Indigo 1’s indigo energy of compassion to kill the Dementor. Titan Maximum and Cuddles the Cybertronian Guardian attack the U.S.S. Nimitz. The two giant robots cause catastrophic damage to the aircraft craft carrier. This devastation gains the attention of Fin Fang Foom, who goes after Cybertronian Guardian #9 first. The giant dragon, who is currently not wearing his purple shorts, rips the head off of the big robot at launches it right at Titan Maximum. “Dude, did he just kill Cuddles and throw his head at us??” asks Commander Palmer. “Yep, I think so,” replies Space Seaman Willie Palmer. “Well ef that!!” Commander Palmer shouts. Titan Maximum then shoots Fin Fang Foom in the back with its eye lasers. The dragon is hurt, but not defeated. Foom turns around and spews combustible acid mist all over Titan Maximum, destroying it and killing all inside. Moonstone and Iron Patriot then take flight and attack Mace Windu in his F-22. The Jedi Master is dodges and weaves through all of their blasts, but Iron Patriot is able to clip a wing. Mace Windu ejects out of the jet before it plummets into the water. “Hang on Master,” says Anakin as he swoops down below Mace, who with his Jedi powers is able to grab onto the jet. He then leaps off of it just as quickly, ignites his lightsaber and relieves Iron Patriot of his helmet, Jango Fett style. Saint Walker then uses his power ring to catch the falling Jedi Master. Adam Strange is carrying The Hood and flying after Jack Bauer’s F-18. The Hood conjures up a demonic magic spell, which destroys the guiding systems of the jet causing it to crash into the water. Bauer is able to eject from it before the explosion, but he is taken out by a large yellow dagger created by V. Terrax then flies in and uses his cosmic powers to pull the earth up from underneath the ocean and consume Prometheus and Predator #48. Beast Boy then comes up from underwater in the form of a great white shark and eats Xenomorph #52. “Aaaccchhh!” yells Beast Boy as the acid blood of the Xenomorph beings to eat away at his insides. Indigo 1 quickly flies down and uses her indigo powers to heal him. “Thanks. Man talk about indigestion,” quips Beast Boy. Jade then flies up and sees Ion, which causes her to stop in her tracks, due to her feeling for Kyle Rayner. This moment of hesitation is what causes her death. She is killed from behind by Moonstone. Anakin then flies in and blasts not only her, but Adam Strange and The Hood out of the sky. Ion then attacks and kills Firelord. “I’ve got the glow worm!” says Ahsoka as she takes aim at Ion. “Ahsoka, wait! He’s too powerful!” shouts Anakin. But his warnings come too late. Ion turns and vaporizes Ahsoka’s F-22 in an instant. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” screams Anakin in agony. The six Oa Guardians then surround Ion and begin to simultaneously blast him with their energy, which is actually draining the Ion power from him. Anakin flies in at mach speeds towards him, but V is able to blast his F-22. This does not slow Anakin down at all, he eject out of the cockpit, ignites his lightsaber and viciously cuts into the vulnerable Ion. Saint Walker then launches Mace Windu up into the air, allowing him to end the life of V. “You really think this is over?” an ominous voice growls. “This is but only the beginning,” the voice says. The voice is coming from Nekron who has just resurrected every combatant that has died in this battle, including the thousands of Gremlins. The Oa Guardians immediately attack Nekron, but he fights back and kills Oa Guardain #1, 4 and 5. Nova and Terrax uses their combined cosmic powers to weaken the Lord of the Undead as the rest of their team fend off the hordes of zombies. Anakin then has Green Lantern #1 use her power ring to launch him and extremely high speeds right at Nekron. The Jedi drives his lightsaber deep into Nekron’s body and then lops his head off. The zombies all fall back into the water, ending this battle.
MICHAEL VICK’S BAD NEWZ KENNELZ OF LURVE IS VICTORIOUS!!
Logical Genocide is Mera, 2 Gremlins, Neo-Cymek #8, Robert and Melissa in Air Ford One, Nekron, Chris Seeney in KITT, Red Lantern #2, 6 Warwolves, Dr Deathbrain, Living Killing Rollercoaster, C.F. Smurf, Prometheus, Black Dragon #11, Zombie Tyler Durden, Zombie Marine #2, Manhunter 1 & 2, Dementor #8, Xenomorph #52, Predator #48, Terminator #40, Jedi #28, Iron Patriot, 5 Triceratons, Moonstone, The Hood, Bronze Tiger, Jason Todd, Magmar, Cody Jones, Serling, Ewok #74, Titan Force 5 as Titan Maximum, Cybertronian Guardian #9, Shatterstar, Ion, Adam Strange, and V w/Yellow Power Ring.
“They may be 0 and 4, but this team is not to be taken lightly,” says Mace Windu to the rest of his team. “Yeah, but you’re looking at the 4 and 0 Kennelz,” replies Anakin Skywalker. “And we’re about to be 5 and 0 Master,” Ahsoka Tano chimes in. They soon see the full forces of Logical Genocide, with the small exception of Robert and Melissa, who are notably absent from the match. Either they didn’t bother to show up or they decided to enter the Water World battle inside Air Ford One, which is just a Ford Escort. It appears to be that this is exactly what happened as Marco Aleksandrovich Ramius spots them from inside the Red October. Air Ford One sinks rapidly as Robert and Melissa drown inside. The six Warwolves on Logical Genocide dive deep under water and attack the Russian submarine. They begin to tear open the hull of the submergible and are able to breech the interior. Ramius knows that he and his two Navy Seals are finished, and causes a chain reaction inside the nuclear engine, which destroys both the Red October as well as the Warwolves. Back up on the water’s surface, Neo-Cymek #8, better known as Ed, is being triple teamed by Hrmm, Ajax and Barbarossa. Ed isn’t able to put up much of a fight and dies as a result. The Argo sails into battle, but finds itself overcome by gremlins, which have all be produced by Logical Genocide’s Gremlins, Howard and Marv, being dunked in the water. There are currently thousands of Gremlins scurrying up onto the Argo and taking it over. The six Argonauts fight valiantly (just like they did against the living skeletons) but there are simply waaaaaay too many Gremlins for them to survive. Firelord then flies in and puts an end to all this Gremlin madness. He, along with Nova, uses their cosmic energy to fry the thousands of Gremlins that are multiplying by the moment in the water. The six Triceratons are having an awfully hard time staying afloat, due to their sheer size. Their worries of drowning are soon realized as Calypso uses her water powers to drag all of them to the bottom of the ocean floor. “Wonder Twins powers activate! Form of water! Form of Sea Serpent!” shouts Zan and Jayna. They then overtake and kill Ewok #74, Cody Jones, Serling and Zombie Tyler Durden. Tracy Strauss then doesn’t want to be shown up by some pointy eared twins and proceeds to drown Dr. Deathbrain and the Living Killing Rollercoaster. “Enough!! This is my home, and you WILL NOT BEAT US HERE!” yells Mera. “Yeah, we’ll see about that,” retorts Tracy Strauss as she turns herself into water. “Yes, we will,” says Mera as she takes control of the water forms of Tracy Strauss and Jayna uses them to drown Zan before she fires them both out of the water, where Ion and V are waiting. The two of them destroy the water beings with a combo of yellow and green energy. Mera then swims as fast as she can right at Triton and snaps his neck before he can even react. “You tink you con control da water? Why don’cha try an control me?” an ever growing Calypso says to Mera. The angered bride of Aquaman is not intimidated by Calypso’s threats and she hurls herself right at the sea witch. The two of them battle fiercely, causing giant waves and massive whirlpools. “Crap, this is making it really hard to drive this thing,” Chris Seeney says to himself inside K.I.T.T., which is utilizing its Third Stage Aquatic Synthesizer to hydroplane on the water. The waves cause Seeney to go out of control and crash against the side of the U.S.S. Nimitz. The explosion does manage to kill a Navy Seal in the process. It’s at this point were Mace Windu orders an all out assault to end this battle. One by one, Mace, Anakin, Ahsoka and Jack Bauer all take off of the U.S.S. Nimitz inside their respected jet planes. They in perfect formation dive towards the water and lay waste to Zombie Marine #2, C.F. Smurf, Jedi #28, Jason Todd, Bronze Tiger, Magmar, Shatterstar, and Terminator #40. Red Lantern #2 then flies after Jack Bauer’s F-18 and is hot on his tail. “Damn it, I can’t shake him,” grumbles Bauer. The Red Lantern fires several shots of red energy, which Jack is barely able to avoid. “Don’t worry, I got you,” Anakin says as he loops around and blasts Red Lantern #2 out of the sky. The water begins to settle down as the battle between Mera and Calypso seems to be coming to an end. The water calms down and both competitors are floating there, lifeless. “Ion, this is Iron Patriot. Mera was our best shot at a victory. We have to do something, and quick!” says Norman Osborn. Ion then swoops down and blows Hrmm, Ajax, and Barbarossa out of the water with such easy it was almost like they were schooners and not enormous robot ships. This allows the rest of Logical Genocide to swarm the deck of the U.S.S. Nimitz. Xenomorph #52 quickly kills the two Navy Seal CPO’s aboard the aircraft carrier. Predator #48 then hunts down and kills the two remaining Navy Seals just as quickly. Black Dragon #11 (“Cyphyllic”) flies overhead, but is attacked by the four Green Lanterns. It kills Green Lantern #5 with a powerful spray of acid, before the other three are able to take it out. Manhunters #1 and #2 fly up and blindside the Green Lanterns, killing GL #2 and GL #4. Saint Walker, Indigo 1 and Monk fly up and aid the last Green Lantern. Saint Walker bolsters the Twi’lek Green Lantern’s power ring, which allows her to destroy Manhunter #1 as the two Indigo Lanterns take care of Manhunter #2. Dementor #8, however, flies straight up and sucks the very soul right out of Monk before anyone can defend him. Saint Walker uses his blue energy of hope in combination with Indigo 1’s indigo energy of compassion to kill the Dementor. Titan Maximum and Cuddles the Cybertronian Guardian attack the U.S.S. Nimitz. The two giant robots cause catastrophic damage to the aircraft craft carrier. This devastation gains the attention of Fin Fang Foom, who goes after Cybertronian Guardian #9 first. The giant dragon, who is currently not wearing his purple shorts, rips the head off of the big robot at launches it right at Titan Maximum. “Dude, did he just kill Cuddles and throw his head at us??” asks Commander Palmer. “Yep, I think so,” replies Space Seaman Willie Palmer. “Well ef that!!” Commander Palmer shouts. Titan Maximum then shoots Fin Fang Foom in the back with its eye lasers. The dragon is hurt, but not defeated. Foom turns around and spews combustible acid mist all over Titan Maximum, destroying it and killing all inside. Moonstone and Iron Patriot then take flight and attack Mace Windu in his F-22. The Jedi Master is dodges and weaves through all of their blasts, but Iron Patriot is able to clip a wing. Mace Windu ejects out of the jet before it plummets into the water. “Hang on Master,” says Anakin as he swoops down below Mace, who with his Jedi powers is able to grab onto the jet. He then leaps off of it just as quickly, ignites his lightsaber and relieves Iron Patriot of his helmet, Jango Fett style. Saint Walker then uses his power ring to catch the falling Jedi Master. Adam Strange is carrying The Hood and flying after Jack Bauer’s F-18. The Hood conjures up a demonic magic spell, which destroys the guiding systems of the jet causing it to crash into the water. Bauer is able to eject from it before the explosion, but he is taken out by a large yellow dagger created by V. Terrax then flies in and uses his cosmic powers to pull the earth up from underneath the ocean and consume Prometheus and Predator #48. Beast Boy then comes up from underwater in the form of a great white shark and eats Xenomorph #52. “Aaaccchhh!” yells Beast Boy as the acid blood of the Xenomorph beings to eat away at his insides. Indigo 1 quickly flies down and uses her indigo powers to heal him. “Thanks. Man talk about indigestion,” quips Beast Boy. Jade then flies up and sees Ion, which causes her to stop in her tracks, due to her feeling for Kyle Rayner. This moment of hesitation is what causes her death. She is killed from behind by Moonstone. Anakin then flies in and blasts not only her, but Adam Strange and The Hood out of the sky. Ion then attacks and kills Firelord. “I’ve got the glow worm!” says Ahsoka as she takes aim at Ion. “Ahsoka, wait! He’s too powerful!” shouts Anakin. But his warnings come too late. Ion turns and vaporizes Ahsoka’s F-22 in an instant. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” screams Anakin in agony. The six Oa Guardians then surround Ion and begin to simultaneously blast him with their energy, which is actually draining the Ion power from him. Anakin flies in at mach speeds towards him, but V is able to blast his F-22. This does not slow Anakin down at all, he eject out of the cockpit, ignites his lightsaber and viciously cuts into the vulnerable Ion. Saint Walker then launches Mace Windu up into the air, allowing him to end the life of V. “You really think this is over?” an ominous voice growls. “This is but only the beginning,” the voice says. The voice is coming from Nekron who has just resurrected every combatant that has died in this battle, including the thousands of Gremlins. The Oa Guardians immediately attack Nekron, but he fights back and kills Oa Guardain #1, 4 and 5. Nova and Terrax uses their combined cosmic powers to weaken the Lord of the Undead as the rest of their team fend off the hordes of zombies. Anakin then has Green Lantern #1 use her power ring to launch him and extremely high speeds right at Nekron. The Jedi drives his lightsaber deep into Nekron’s body and then lops his head off. The zombies all fall back into the water, ending this battle.
MICHAEL VICK’S BAD NEWZ KENNELZ OF LURVE IS VICTORIOUS!!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
George Washington's Slaves Vs. Better Than All of You
George Washington's Slaves are Agen Kolar, Ajax Major, Bebop, Ben Skywalker, Bender "Bending" Rodriguez, Bill Rizer & Lance Bean, Cade Skywalker, Capt. Jean Luc Bicard, Capt. James Tiberius Kirk, Cassandra Nova, Colossus, Connor McLeod, Corbin Dallas, Crash Bandicoot, Cthulu, The Gears of War Team: Sgt. Marcus Fenix, Dominic Santiago, Augustus "Cole Train" Cole, & Damon Baird, Dare the Terminator, Darth Plaguis, Dormamu, Duncan Idaho Ghola #7, Inspector Gadget, Jason Bourne, Juan Sanchez Villa Lobos Ramirez, Loki, B'dg, Zillius Zox, Metroid #19 & 20, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Mr. Miracle, Kyle Catarn, Santa Claus w/ Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen & Rudolph, Scorpion, Coleman Kcaj, Sifo Dyas, Shindor of Brontic, Spongebob Squarepants, Super Soldier, Piecemeal, Ultra Man, & Gizmo.
Better Than All of You is Aquaman, Aqualad, Aquababy, N.S.-5 #1-22, The Four Horsemen: Rick Flair, Arn Anderson, Ole Anderson, & Tully Blanchard, Green Lantern, Sabu (w/ Mandalorian Armor) & Rob Van Damm, Loki & Bartleby, Abomination, Ninja Pirate #3 & 4, Reptile, Red Lantern #1, Yellow Lantern #1 & 2, Batman (Dick Grayson) on a jet ski, Robin (Damien) on a jet ski, & Batman Beyond on a jet ski, Zombie Trinity, Megadeth, Predator #4-15, & Cobra Viper #1.
Typically in a battle with a setting such as this it would begin with Aquaman swimming out to meet his enemies, but this time Aquaman hangs back away from the fight and concentrates. He is focusing all of his telepathic powers as hard as he can in an attempt to take control of the old one known as Cthulu. Cthulu fights thru this at first and easily picks four of the “99 ways to die” for Dave Mustaine & the rest of Megadeth. But then Aquaman’s hold takes over. Cthulu loses control of his actions for a moment and destroys his own teammates Cassandra Nova & Mr. Miracle; but then fights back mentally and makes his mind his once more. Cthulu sees that this cannot end well & therefore uses his cosmic abilities to transport himself as far away from the fight so he can live another day *(Cthulu is gone from this match for good but did not die). Betters Head Coach Cobra Commander has done everything he can to try and make it so the N.S.-5’s can override the 3 laws and harm humans but has thus far been unsuccessful. So he programmed them and gave orders for them to use their great swimming ability to seek out and destroy any non-human opponent that they can find. The N.S.-5’s execute this order well as they lose only one of their ranks of 22 before they destroy Bender and only one more before they kill Crash Bandicoot. The N.S.-5’s don’t seem to have any freeze rays or missiles but then again I guess they don’t have any life force to drain either, which may be why they easily mow thru the 2 Metroids. Spongebob uses some ka-rot-tay to take out N.S.-5’s #4 & 7, but eventually succumbs to their overwhelming numbers. The robots then take out Gizmo except for N.S.-5 #20 who thought Gizmo was so cute that it just killed him; but Gizmo had already multiplied by the dozens from hitting the water. The N.S.-5’s then become locked in battle with the ever growing number of Magwai; which will allow me to go on to the next part of the story (ya know like in the movies when some big battle starts and they just leave it to show you something else and then just go back to it at the end of the movie and show you who won). The Gears of War guys have set up camp on top of Inspector Gadget, who has more or less made himself into a small robotic boat. They are attacked by Batman, Robin, & Batman Beyond on their jet skis. The 3 Batman sidekicks manage to move in swiftly take out all four of the Gears of War dudes with their Batarangs and such. The 3 of them then throw a few bombs onto Gadget himself and then watch him go-go gadget explode as they ride away. Scorpion and Reptile square off like they have so many times in the past but in this particular fight the setting seems to favor Reptile and it is that that allows him to come out on top. Santa & Corbin Dallas are flying around in Santa’s sleigh when they swoop down with their green lightsabers and quickly take out Predators #4, 6, & 9, as well as Arn Anderson & Cobra Viper #1. B’dg, Zillius Zox, Super Soldier, & Dormamu all take flight, but most of their other team members seem to be “slaves” to the water, and without vehicles or any land whatsoever, they are having a ton of trouble doing anything other than struggle to stay above water. The force users, unlike Santa and Corbin are unable to ignite their lightsabers because they are soaked. Zombie Trinity fights against the team she was on when she died and takes out Kyle Catarn with a bite to the throat, but is then killed by a series of underwater kicks to the head by Jason Bourne. Bourne then kills Predator #13 before he is overwhelmed and killed by the other 8 alien hunters. Colossus starts to sink every time he puts on his organic metal covering, which makes his normal form any easy target for the Predators, who are now on a killing spree. Three Predators die before they can kill the 2 Highlander immortals, and one more goes down while they overwhelm the huge Ajax Major. Agen Kolar, Bebop, & Bill and Lance take out all but Predator #12 before they are sent to their watery grave. It is Duncan Idaho that finally gets in the final hit against the final Predator to finally end their brief reign of terror. The 2 Ninja Pirates take advantage of their mixed abilities of stealth and swimming prowess to kill the defenseless Sifo Dyas & Coleman Kcaj as well as Piecemeal before the 2 are overtaken by Cade Skywalker & Darth Plaguis. Sabu uses his Mandalorian jet pack to fly above the water line and go on an absolute killing spree. Sabu uses his blaster rifle to become the world heavyweight pot shot champion by killing Ben Skywalker & Cade Skywalker before Capt. Kirk pulls out his phaser and shoots him from the water with a perfect shot to the neck that finds a weak spot in the mandalorian armor and sends Sabu to the graveyard. RVD is furious at the sight of his tag partners demise and takes the opportunity to put both Capt. Kirk & Bicard in a strangle hold while holding their heads under water to drown them. RVD isn’t finally defeated until Santa swoops his sleigh down low so his bro Corbin can lop off his head with his lightsaber. Mr. & Mrs. Smith try and rally the Slaves that are still in the water when Aqualad shows up and uses his water manipulation abilities to create body crushing waves which kill Dare the Terminator, Darth Plaguis, Duncan Idaho, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, & Shindor of Brontic. Ultra Man has already wasted Batman, Robin, & Batman Beyond as well as their jet skis when Abomination leads Red Lantern #1 & the 2 yellow lanterns against him. The Red Lantern & Abomination are a great team, as they wail on Ultra Man with intense rage. Ultra Man is able to take out Yellow Lantern #2 and Red Lantern #1 before Yellow Lantern #1 keeps Ultra Man’s arms busy for a second with a pair of enormous yellow energy handcuffs while Abomination delivers a city-shattering two-handed uppercut to the head of Ultra Man that sends his head sailing off into the clouds. Loki fights Loki and Loki wins. The winner then kills Bartleby as well, but Green Lantern flies in and uses his green power ring to completely disintegrate the Asgardian Loki. Green Lantern proves to everyone why he gets to be called Green Lantern while guys like B’dg are just “A” green lantern when Hal Jordan creates an energy construct of a giant cat that bites the head off of B’dg. Green Lantern then squares off against Zillius Zox in what turns out to be a great battle. Hal Jordan cannot directly use his green power ring to attack the yellow energy aura that is protecting Zillius Zox. Jordan feels like he is running out of ideas when Yellow Lantern #2 and Abomination drop in to help. The yellow lantern uses his ring t fling Abomination at Zillius Zox and then Abomination uses his fist to fling off Zox’s head. Dormamu uses his magic to totally annihilate Yellow Lantern #2, while Santa swoops down low in his sleigh for another water run. Santa and Corbin then take out Ole Anderson and Rick Flair before Green Lantern shoots a hole in the bottom of Santa’s sleigh which sends Santa and Corbin falling into the water below them. Santa uses some Christmas magic to kill Reptile, but can’t seem to do anything about Green Lantern chasing down his reindeer a couple miles away from the action and turning them into venison. Aqualad uses his water manipulation powers to create a mighty tidal wave which knocks the remaining airborne Slaves (Dormamu & Super Soldier) into the water. Once they are in the water Aquababy manages to take out Santa Claus (no presents for him this year) while Abomination kills Corbin Dallas. Aquaman then uses his superior, water-heightened strength to kill both Dormamu & Super Soldier. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, the N.S.-5’s all eventually died and the constantly multiplying Magwai are happily populating the post-apocalyptic earth setting known as Water World.
BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU ARE VICTORIOUS!
Better Than All of You is Aquaman, Aqualad, Aquababy, N.S.-5 #1-22, The Four Horsemen: Rick Flair, Arn Anderson, Ole Anderson, & Tully Blanchard, Green Lantern, Sabu (w/ Mandalorian Armor) & Rob Van Damm, Loki & Bartleby, Abomination, Ninja Pirate #3 & 4, Reptile, Red Lantern #1, Yellow Lantern #1 & 2, Batman (Dick Grayson) on a jet ski, Robin (Damien) on a jet ski, & Batman Beyond on a jet ski, Zombie Trinity, Megadeth, Predator #4-15, & Cobra Viper #1.
Typically in a battle with a setting such as this it would begin with Aquaman swimming out to meet his enemies, but this time Aquaman hangs back away from the fight and concentrates. He is focusing all of his telepathic powers as hard as he can in an attempt to take control of the old one known as Cthulu. Cthulu fights thru this at first and easily picks four of the “99 ways to die” for Dave Mustaine & the rest of Megadeth. But then Aquaman’s hold takes over. Cthulu loses control of his actions for a moment and destroys his own teammates Cassandra Nova & Mr. Miracle; but then fights back mentally and makes his mind his once more. Cthulu sees that this cannot end well & therefore uses his cosmic abilities to transport himself as far away from the fight so he can live another day *(Cthulu is gone from this match for good but did not die). Betters Head Coach Cobra Commander has done everything he can to try and make it so the N.S.-5’s can override the 3 laws and harm humans but has thus far been unsuccessful. So he programmed them and gave orders for them to use their great swimming ability to seek out and destroy any non-human opponent that they can find. The N.S.-5’s execute this order well as they lose only one of their ranks of 22 before they destroy Bender and only one more before they kill Crash Bandicoot. The N.S.-5’s don’t seem to have any freeze rays or missiles but then again I guess they don’t have any life force to drain either, which may be why they easily mow thru the 2 Metroids. Spongebob uses some ka-rot-tay to take out N.S.-5’s #4 & 7, but eventually succumbs to their overwhelming numbers. The robots then take out Gizmo except for N.S.-5 #20 who thought Gizmo was so cute that it just killed him; but Gizmo had already multiplied by the dozens from hitting the water. The N.S.-5’s then become locked in battle with the ever growing number of Magwai; which will allow me to go on to the next part of the story (ya know like in the movies when some big battle starts and they just leave it to show you something else and then just go back to it at the end of the movie and show you who won). The Gears of War guys have set up camp on top of Inspector Gadget, who has more or less made himself into a small robotic boat. They are attacked by Batman, Robin, & Batman Beyond on their jet skis. The 3 Batman sidekicks manage to move in swiftly take out all four of the Gears of War dudes with their Batarangs and such. The 3 of them then throw a few bombs onto Gadget himself and then watch him go-go gadget explode as they ride away. Scorpion and Reptile square off like they have so many times in the past but in this particular fight the setting seems to favor Reptile and it is that that allows him to come out on top. Santa & Corbin Dallas are flying around in Santa’s sleigh when they swoop down with their green lightsabers and quickly take out Predators #4, 6, & 9, as well as Arn Anderson & Cobra Viper #1. B’dg, Zillius Zox, Super Soldier, & Dormamu all take flight, but most of their other team members seem to be “slaves” to the water, and without vehicles or any land whatsoever, they are having a ton of trouble doing anything other than struggle to stay above water. The force users, unlike Santa and Corbin are unable to ignite their lightsabers because they are soaked. Zombie Trinity fights against the team she was on when she died and takes out Kyle Catarn with a bite to the throat, but is then killed by a series of underwater kicks to the head by Jason Bourne. Bourne then kills Predator #13 before he is overwhelmed and killed by the other 8 alien hunters. Colossus starts to sink every time he puts on his organic metal covering, which makes his normal form any easy target for the Predators, who are now on a killing spree. Three Predators die before they can kill the 2 Highlander immortals, and one more goes down while they overwhelm the huge Ajax Major. Agen Kolar, Bebop, & Bill and Lance take out all but Predator #12 before they are sent to their watery grave. It is Duncan Idaho that finally gets in the final hit against the final Predator to finally end their brief reign of terror. The 2 Ninja Pirates take advantage of their mixed abilities of stealth and swimming prowess to kill the defenseless Sifo Dyas & Coleman Kcaj as well as Piecemeal before the 2 are overtaken by Cade Skywalker & Darth Plaguis. Sabu uses his Mandalorian jet pack to fly above the water line and go on an absolute killing spree. Sabu uses his blaster rifle to become the world heavyweight pot shot champion by killing Ben Skywalker & Cade Skywalker before Capt. Kirk pulls out his phaser and shoots him from the water with a perfect shot to the neck that finds a weak spot in the mandalorian armor and sends Sabu to the graveyard. RVD is furious at the sight of his tag partners demise and takes the opportunity to put both Capt. Kirk & Bicard in a strangle hold while holding their heads under water to drown them. RVD isn’t finally defeated until Santa swoops his sleigh down low so his bro Corbin can lop off his head with his lightsaber. Mr. & Mrs. Smith try and rally the Slaves that are still in the water when Aqualad shows up and uses his water manipulation abilities to create body crushing waves which kill Dare the Terminator, Darth Plaguis, Duncan Idaho, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, & Shindor of Brontic. Ultra Man has already wasted Batman, Robin, & Batman Beyond as well as their jet skis when Abomination leads Red Lantern #1 & the 2 yellow lanterns against him. The Red Lantern & Abomination are a great team, as they wail on Ultra Man with intense rage. Ultra Man is able to take out Yellow Lantern #2 and Red Lantern #1 before Yellow Lantern #1 keeps Ultra Man’s arms busy for a second with a pair of enormous yellow energy handcuffs while Abomination delivers a city-shattering two-handed uppercut to the head of Ultra Man that sends his head sailing off into the clouds. Loki fights Loki and Loki wins. The winner then kills Bartleby as well, but Green Lantern flies in and uses his green power ring to completely disintegrate the Asgardian Loki. Green Lantern proves to everyone why he gets to be called Green Lantern while guys like B’dg are just “A” green lantern when Hal Jordan creates an energy construct of a giant cat that bites the head off of B’dg. Green Lantern then squares off against Zillius Zox in what turns out to be a great battle. Hal Jordan cannot directly use his green power ring to attack the yellow energy aura that is protecting Zillius Zox. Jordan feels like he is running out of ideas when Yellow Lantern #2 and Abomination drop in to help. The yellow lantern uses his ring t fling Abomination at Zillius Zox and then Abomination uses his fist to fling off Zox’s head. Dormamu uses his magic to totally annihilate Yellow Lantern #2, while Santa swoops down low in his sleigh for another water run. Santa and Corbin then take out Ole Anderson and Rick Flair before Green Lantern shoots a hole in the bottom of Santa’s sleigh which sends Santa and Corbin falling into the water below them. Santa uses some Christmas magic to kill Reptile, but can’t seem to do anything about Green Lantern chasing down his reindeer a couple miles away from the action and turning them into venison. Aqualad uses his water manipulation powers to create a mighty tidal wave which knocks the remaining airborne Slaves (Dormamu & Super Soldier) into the water. Once they are in the water Aquababy manages to take out Santa Claus (no presents for him this year) while Abomination kills Corbin Dallas. Aquaman then uses his superior, water-heightened strength to kill both Dormamu & Super Soldier. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, the N.S.-5’s all eventually died and the constantly multiplying Magwai are happily populating the post-apocalyptic earth setting known as Water World.
BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU ARE VICTORIOUS!
TEAM Vs. The Abomitrons
TEAM is Sharkticon #47-50, Phibian #1-10, Emerald Weapon, Ultraman, Mon El, Superboy, Lor Zod, Aquamariner, Barracuda, Jack Lalane, Mike Sroka, Presence, Pete Sosa (w/ Mandalorian Armor), Zilla, The Presence, The Beyonder, Imperiex, Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee w/ Bill the Pony, James Pond, Crutus Penari w/ his Padawan, The Centurions: Max Ray, Ace McLeod, John Thunder, Rex Charger, & Jake Rockwell, Iron Lantern, Thanoseid, Thorion, Cop-tur, & Jedi Councilman #2.
The Abomitrons are Naboo Soldier #2-7, Immell #1, 4-9, 12, 13, 15-17, & 19, Falco w/ Kyle & Zachary Houslander in a hovercraft, Zombie Neo, Mega Man & Rush, Starfire & Raven, Cyborg, Underdog, Cerberus, Ben Tennyson, Gwen Tennyson, & Kevin, Tom & Jerry, Goofy & Pluto, Capt. Underpants, Ultra Boy, Fineas & Ferb, Perry, Abon Sur, Baby Colossus, Montross, Zombie Jimmy Nuetron, Zombie Tails, Zombie Scooby Dumb, Zombie #1 & 2, Horribul & Creb, The Mountain Dew Transformer, The Football Transformer, Zufa Cenva, Ewok Child #1-5, Starship Trooper #51-68, Purple Muscle Men #1 & 2, Pink Muscle Men #6-9, Sebastian the Crab, leviathan, Danny Ocean, Rusty, Linus, Virgil, Turk, Yen, Frank, Bashar, Saul, Livingston, & Rueben, & Mario & Luigie.
Both teams are dropped into the water. Sam and Bill the Pony, both cannot swim and drown, this is not aided by the fact that this time Sam cannot be saved by Frodo because Frodo is a zombie. The 5 Ewok Children & Baby Colossus drown as well. Unlike Max Ray, who is swimming thru the water gracefully, and Ace McLeod & Rex Charger who have both taken flight, John Thunder & Jake Rockwell’s suits both cause them to sink to the bottom of the ocean because of all the excess weight, which of course drowns them. Zombie Frodo dies as well when the Presence sends all of The Abomitrons 7 Zombies as well as Horribul & Creb to another plane of existence. The Presence then dies for their sins. The Beyonder & Imperiex effortlessly lay to waste all 18 of The heavily armed Starship Troopers as well as The Muscle Men & The Mountain Dew Transformer before their powers create a void which overloads them both and wipes them from existence as well. Crutus Penari would normally be more than a match for the bounty hunter Montross, but with the Jedi & his padawan treading water, and unable to use their lightsabers. Montross is easily able to target them from the air with his blaster rifle. Danny Ocean begins to explain to his 11 comrades that they were a good choice for the Waterworld match because of his last name, ya know Ocean, but before he can convince them Thanoseid blasts all 11 of the fun-loving criminals with his cosmic omega beams. Emerald Weapon uses his abnormally large guns to annihilate Zufa Cenva, but Mario in his Penguin suit & Luigie (going retro) in his Frog suit prove that they are not only the best video game characters ever but the best water video game characters ever as well. The 2 of them then proceed to make a quick 1000 points out of him. Thorion the Celestial uses his mystical hammer to break the Football Transformer in 2, while Iron Lantern kills Fineas, Ferb, & Perry before they can finish the construction of their new battleship. Iron Lantern, Thanoseid, & Thorion then meet up with Cop-Tur and the 4 of begin an attack run from the air. They move swiftly and take out Gwen, Kevin, Tom, Jerry, Goofy, Pluto, & Capt. Underpants; but their attack comes to an end when Leviathan pops out of the water and consumes both their powers and bodies as if it were a mere snack. Starfire takes out the Jedi Councilman with ease on her way to take on Ultra Man. Starfire is joined by Raven & Cyborg who are both airborne atop a mystical energy construct created by Raven, as well as Mega Man & Rush, who are following behind them. Ultraman is accompanied by Mon El & Lor Zod. These combatants lock with each other in a battle that rages for some time. Under the sea Sebastian the Crab is seemingly getting the worse end of the epic battle that is going on between him and James Pond. James Pond uses some killer moves on the crab, but in the end Sebastian’s FFL experience wins the day as he catches James with a claw to the neck. Ace McLeod uses his superior weaponry to take out Montross, but the Centurion is later killed by a giant fist made of green energy created by Abon Sur. Max Ray battles with Elite Sebastian (Immell #17). The Elite Clone Trooper mixed crab is well-trained & is a great fighter in the water, but in the end Max Ray’s equipment and skills are just to much for the clone to handle. Falco drives the Hovercraft, while Kyle & Zack shoot the laser turrets that Billionaires Tony Stark & Bruce Wayne recently had installed. The 2 Houslanders are able to blast Rex Charger & the Mandalorian armored Pete Sosa out of the air, before the hovercraft is crushed and destroyed by Zilla. Aquamariner & Barracuda attack the Immells that are struggling to stay above water, and somewhat easily take out Paddle, who is unable to ignite her hockey stick shaped lightsaber in time, as well as The Captain, Shorty (Gilleus Thunderhead mixed with Joe Levine), Shannon Flare, Ax-Pilkinton, Death Hammer, Capt. Malcolm Ocean, Zengler, & Ziggimore. The Naboo Soldiers are able to take out Phibians # 2 & 7, but eventually succumb to the sea skills of the Tleilaxlu creations. Mike Sroka never was any good at beating Mario, which is probably why he & Luigie make such short work of him, but The King of the Internet is soon avenged by his buddy Jack Lalane who strangles both of the Nintendo characters with his handcuffs. Leviathon squares off against Zilla who goes in for the kill on Leviathon by trying to bite him in the neck. Although the huge Leviathon is quicker than he looks and evades the attack and then follows it up with one of his own to finish off Zilla for good. Max Ray gets help from Barracuda and Aquamariner in his attack run on Zilla. Max Ray does not survive the attack, but eventually Barracuda & Aquamariner’s combined efforts of water and sea life control are able to pull The Mighty Leviathon under the ocean once and for good. Superboy joins the air battle on the side of TEAM, while Ultra Boy & Abon Sur join on the side of The Abomitrons. Ultra Boy delivers a double fisted punch to the back of Lor Zod, which breaks his neck, but then Ultra Man, proves to Ultra Boy that it isn’t just his name that is better than he is when he Heat Visions the crap out of the Legion of Super-Heroes member. The Abomitrons then up the score of the air battle further when Mega-Borg & Cyborg Norris show up. Cerberus is not exactly at home in the water, but he is still quite a force to be reckoned with, especially when he is joined by Ben 10 (as Ripclaws), Sebastian, and Underdog who is going back and forth from flying to dog-paddling along the top of the water. These 4 are met by Aqua-Mariner & Barracuda at the water line. The 2 water TEAMsters leap out of the water with a vengeance ready to attack but Barracuda is quickly swallowed by the 3 headed Greek Monster known as Cerberus. Aqua-mariner is able to dive back below the surface and grab a hold of the foot of Cerberus, he then pulls the giant dog down below the water to drown him, and then returns to the fight. Sebastian attempts to meet him halfway but Aqua-Mariner uses his water-fueled super-strength to rip the little crab apart. Jack Lalane comes to aid Aqua-mariner, but Ripclaws rips and claws the old athlete apart. Ripclaws squares off against Aqua-Mariner in what mounts up to a pretty even fight, but eventually Aqua-Mariner comes out on top. The Aquaman/Namor mix is swimming triumphantly away until rocketing down comes the enraged Underdog (mad at the death of his teammates and at all of TEAM due to the fact that he was traded from the #1 ranked TEAM during the off-season). Underdog shoots down below the water’s surface and delivers a powerful punch which stuns Aqua-Mariner before he takes that time to finish him off by using his paws to twist off Aqua-mariner’s Atlantean neck. Underdog is then destroyed by Sharkticon #48, who along with the other Sharkticons are making their presence known toward the top of the surface. Ultraman & Mon El rip thru Cyborg & Raven, as well as Mega-Borg; but are in the end shockingly hit by 2 (1 each) enormous laser blasts from Mega Man & Rush. These 2 combatants use up their entire power reserve to do so, but are able to kill both Ultraman & Mon El. The now powerless Mega Man & his pet dog have given all the could, and are unfortunately sent to the Graveyard by a double close line from Superboy. Superboy now finds himself surrounded by Cyborg Norris, Starfire, & Abon Sur. Superboy is able to deliver a killing blow to Starfire with his fist but while he exhausting himself by powering thru Abon Sur’s ring blasts Cyborg Norris hits him with a Heat Vision/Roundhouse combo which finishes Kal El off. Abon Sur’s power ring is at about 15% as he and Cyborg Norris decide that this battle must be finished in the water. The green lantern & the clone fly into the water where they are met by a small army of Phibians & Sharkticons. They fight valiantly and each kill several of each, but the water advantage is just to much to overcome. Only Phibian #8 & Sharkticon #48 survive this A.L. bloodbath.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!
The Abomitrons are Naboo Soldier #2-7, Immell #1, 4-9, 12, 13, 15-17, & 19, Falco w/ Kyle & Zachary Houslander in a hovercraft, Zombie Neo, Mega Man & Rush, Starfire & Raven, Cyborg, Underdog, Cerberus, Ben Tennyson, Gwen Tennyson, & Kevin, Tom & Jerry, Goofy & Pluto, Capt. Underpants, Ultra Boy, Fineas & Ferb, Perry, Abon Sur, Baby Colossus, Montross, Zombie Jimmy Nuetron, Zombie Tails, Zombie Scooby Dumb, Zombie #1 & 2, Horribul & Creb, The Mountain Dew Transformer, The Football Transformer, Zufa Cenva, Ewok Child #1-5, Starship Trooper #51-68, Purple Muscle Men #1 & 2, Pink Muscle Men #6-9, Sebastian the Crab, leviathan, Danny Ocean, Rusty, Linus, Virgil, Turk, Yen, Frank, Bashar, Saul, Livingston, & Rueben, & Mario & Luigie.
Both teams are dropped into the water. Sam and Bill the Pony, both cannot swim and drown, this is not aided by the fact that this time Sam cannot be saved by Frodo because Frodo is a zombie. The 5 Ewok Children & Baby Colossus drown as well. Unlike Max Ray, who is swimming thru the water gracefully, and Ace McLeod & Rex Charger who have both taken flight, John Thunder & Jake Rockwell’s suits both cause them to sink to the bottom of the ocean because of all the excess weight, which of course drowns them. Zombie Frodo dies as well when the Presence sends all of The Abomitrons 7 Zombies as well as Horribul & Creb to another plane of existence. The Presence then dies for their sins. The Beyonder & Imperiex effortlessly lay to waste all 18 of The heavily armed Starship Troopers as well as The Muscle Men & The Mountain Dew Transformer before their powers create a void which overloads them both and wipes them from existence as well. Crutus Penari would normally be more than a match for the bounty hunter Montross, but with the Jedi & his padawan treading water, and unable to use their lightsabers. Montross is easily able to target them from the air with his blaster rifle. Danny Ocean begins to explain to his 11 comrades that they were a good choice for the Waterworld match because of his last name, ya know Ocean, but before he can convince them Thanoseid blasts all 11 of the fun-loving criminals with his cosmic omega beams. Emerald Weapon uses his abnormally large guns to annihilate Zufa Cenva, but Mario in his Penguin suit & Luigie (going retro) in his Frog suit prove that they are not only the best video game characters ever but the best water video game characters ever as well. The 2 of them then proceed to make a quick 1000 points out of him. Thorion the Celestial uses his mystical hammer to break the Football Transformer in 2, while Iron Lantern kills Fineas, Ferb, & Perry before they can finish the construction of their new battleship. Iron Lantern, Thanoseid, & Thorion then meet up with Cop-Tur and the 4 of begin an attack run from the air. They move swiftly and take out Gwen, Kevin, Tom, Jerry, Goofy, Pluto, & Capt. Underpants; but their attack comes to an end when Leviathan pops out of the water and consumes both their powers and bodies as if it were a mere snack. Starfire takes out the Jedi Councilman with ease on her way to take on Ultra Man. Starfire is joined by Raven & Cyborg who are both airborne atop a mystical energy construct created by Raven, as well as Mega Man & Rush, who are following behind them. Ultraman is accompanied by Mon El & Lor Zod. These combatants lock with each other in a battle that rages for some time. Under the sea Sebastian the Crab is seemingly getting the worse end of the epic battle that is going on between him and James Pond. James Pond uses some killer moves on the crab, but in the end Sebastian’s FFL experience wins the day as he catches James with a claw to the neck. Ace McLeod uses his superior weaponry to take out Montross, but the Centurion is later killed by a giant fist made of green energy created by Abon Sur. Max Ray battles with Elite Sebastian (Immell #17). The Elite Clone Trooper mixed crab is well-trained & is a great fighter in the water, but in the end Max Ray’s equipment and skills are just to much for the clone to handle. Falco drives the Hovercraft, while Kyle & Zack shoot the laser turrets that Billionaires Tony Stark & Bruce Wayne recently had installed. The 2 Houslanders are able to blast Rex Charger & the Mandalorian armored Pete Sosa out of the air, before the hovercraft is crushed and destroyed by Zilla. Aquamariner & Barracuda attack the Immells that are struggling to stay above water, and somewhat easily take out Paddle, who is unable to ignite her hockey stick shaped lightsaber in time, as well as The Captain, Shorty (Gilleus Thunderhead mixed with Joe Levine), Shannon Flare, Ax-Pilkinton, Death Hammer, Capt. Malcolm Ocean, Zengler, & Ziggimore. The Naboo Soldiers are able to take out Phibians # 2 & 7, but eventually succumb to the sea skills of the Tleilaxlu creations. Mike Sroka never was any good at beating Mario, which is probably why he & Luigie make such short work of him, but The King of the Internet is soon avenged by his buddy Jack Lalane who strangles both of the Nintendo characters with his handcuffs. Leviathon squares off against Zilla who goes in for the kill on Leviathon by trying to bite him in the neck. Although the huge Leviathon is quicker than he looks and evades the attack and then follows it up with one of his own to finish off Zilla for good. Max Ray gets help from Barracuda and Aquamariner in his attack run on Zilla. Max Ray does not survive the attack, but eventually Barracuda & Aquamariner’s combined efforts of water and sea life control are able to pull The Mighty Leviathon under the ocean once and for good. Superboy joins the air battle on the side of TEAM, while Ultra Boy & Abon Sur join on the side of The Abomitrons. Ultra Boy delivers a double fisted punch to the back of Lor Zod, which breaks his neck, but then Ultra Man, proves to Ultra Boy that it isn’t just his name that is better than he is when he Heat Visions the crap out of the Legion of Super-Heroes member. The Abomitrons then up the score of the air battle further when Mega-Borg & Cyborg Norris show up. Cerberus is not exactly at home in the water, but he is still quite a force to be reckoned with, especially when he is joined by Ben 10 (as Ripclaws), Sebastian, and Underdog who is going back and forth from flying to dog-paddling along the top of the water. These 4 are met by Aqua-Mariner & Barracuda at the water line. The 2 water TEAMsters leap out of the water with a vengeance ready to attack but Barracuda is quickly swallowed by the 3 headed Greek Monster known as Cerberus. Aqua-mariner is able to dive back below the surface and grab a hold of the foot of Cerberus, he then pulls the giant dog down below the water to drown him, and then returns to the fight. Sebastian attempts to meet him halfway but Aqua-Mariner uses his water-fueled super-strength to rip the little crab apart. Jack Lalane comes to aid Aqua-mariner, but Ripclaws rips and claws the old athlete apart. Ripclaws squares off against Aqua-Mariner in what mounts up to a pretty even fight, but eventually Aqua-Mariner comes out on top. The Aquaman/Namor mix is swimming triumphantly away until rocketing down comes the enraged Underdog (mad at the death of his teammates and at all of TEAM due to the fact that he was traded from the #1 ranked TEAM during the off-season). Underdog shoots down below the water’s surface and delivers a powerful punch which stuns Aqua-Mariner before he takes that time to finish him off by using his paws to twist off Aqua-mariner’s Atlantean neck. Underdog is then destroyed by Sharkticon #48, who along with the other Sharkticons are making their presence known toward the top of the surface. Ultraman & Mon El rip thru Cyborg & Raven, as well as Mega-Borg; but are in the end shockingly hit by 2 (1 each) enormous laser blasts from Mega Man & Rush. These 2 combatants use up their entire power reserve to do so, but are able to kill both Ultraman & Mon El. The now powerless Mega Man & his pet dog have given all the could, and are unfortunately sent to the Graveyard by a double close line from Superboy. Superboy now finds himself surrounded by Cyborg Norris, Starfire, & Abon Sur. Superboy is able to deliver a killing blow to Starfire with his fist but while he exhausting himself by powering thru Abon Sur’s ring blasts Cyborg Norris hits him with a Heat Vision/Roundhouse combo which finishes Kal El off. Abon Sur’s power ring is at about 15% as he and Cyborg Norris decide that this battle must be finished in the water. The green lantern & the clone fly into the water where they are met by a small army of Phibians & Sharkticons. They fight valiantly and each kill several of each, but the water advantage is just to much to overcome. Only Phibian #8 & Sharkticon #48 survive this A.L. bloodbath.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!
Built Ford Tough Vs. The Untouchables
Built Ford Tough is Blue Beetle, Ford Prefect, Zaffrod Beezlebrock, Marvin the Paranoid Android, & Trillian, Han Solo & Jeff Houslander in a Hovercraft, Darkwing Duck, Capt. Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper, Toshiko Sato, Ianto Jones, Dr. Who, Power Man, Iron Fist, Archie the Octospider, Cookies, Steve McQueen, Keith Mars, Veronica Mars, Weevil, Wilt, Star Sapphire, Moltar, Joey, Pacy, Dawson, The Beatles: John , Paul, George, & Ringo, Mr. T, Ellie, Katie, Simone, & Benjy, Grimace, Gigantor, Despotellis, Nom Anor, Mandalorian #6-10, Fantastic Max, FX, & AB, Smoky the Bear, Beta Ray Bill, Dr. Seth Brundel, & Arachnid #1-34.
The Untouchables are Aphrodite, The Sorceress of Castle Grayskull, The Insecticons: Bombshell, Kickback, & Shrapnel, The Pretender Monsters: Birdbrain, Scowl, Bristleback, Icepick, Slog, & Wildfly, The Protectobots: Hot Spot, Groove, First Aid, Blades, & Streetwise, Dr. Polaris, Tomar Tu, Sodom Yat, Pounce & Wingspan, Siryn, Navy SEAL #33-44, Navy SEAL Chief Petty Officer #11-13, Broadside, The Legion of Super Heroes: Cosmic Boy, Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl, Bouncing Boy, Triplicate Girl, Timber Wolf, Chameleon Boy, & Karate Kid, Eclipso, Odysseus, Onslaught, Guy Gardner (w/ Green & Red Rings), The Burger King, Ben Tennyson, Gwen Tennyson, & Grandpa Max, Emperor Han, Katara the Water Bender, Ursula, The W.I.L.D.C.A.T.S.: Spartan, Voodoo, Grifter, Maul, Zealot, Warblade, & Lord Emp, Kung Lao, Slippy Toad, & Captain Cold.
Except for a handful of flyers and adept water dwellers, the entire Untouchable squad is on the deck of Broadside who is transformed into his aircraft carrier form. The vast majority of The Built Ford Tough squad are simply struggling to keep their heads above the rough water. Smoky the Bear sees the vast waters around him and realizes that there may actually be something in the universe better than stopping forest fires. Sadly this revelation kills him. AB keeps Fantastic Max’s head above the water, but , Max sees a floating twig and grabs a hold of it. He shows it to FX who screams “Rock & Roll” and turns it in to a boat for the 3 of them. ..........Grimace sinks because he’s stupid.............. The Untouchables have such an enormous advantage because of Broadside that they actually do not even know how to begin picking off The “Bill” Ford Tough squad. Cosmic Boy, Voodoo, & Dr. Polaris get in a contest of sorts and begin using their magnetic powers to take out as many characters as possible. Onslaught seems apathetic to such things and simply ignores this. The 3 metal controllers attack so quickly, that I as a Watcher was actually unable to tell who was killing who. Basically any characters with metal are affected. Blue Beetle, Marvin, Moltar, The Beatles (because they were all riding in their yellow sub-marine), AB, Mr. T (ya know, the jewelry), Gigantor, & The Mandalorians are all destroyed. The Built Ford Tough squad is at a loss as to what to do next, while The Untouchables are cheering aboard Broadside at how close to victory they already are. Onslaught is now slightly enraged at the attention these lesser manipulators of metal are receiving and decides that now after all he does feel like participating although now all of the major metal targets have been used up. This angers Onslaught who turns his head and sees his buddies The Pretender Monsters who are already waving their hands and shaking their heads NO at the powerful mutant. Lord Emp looks at Emperor Han and says: “Well, it worked good last week”, as Onslaught uses his powers to rip all 6 of his teammates the Pretender Monsters to shards and use them as weapons against the Ford Boys below. This attack kills every other “sitting duck” that BFT had to offer. Ford Prefect, Zaffrod Beezlebrock, Trillian, Capt. Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper, Toshiko Sato, Ianto Jones, Dr. Who, Power Man, Iron Fist (who are holding on to each other for dear life (but still ain’t gay)), Archie, Cookies, Steve McQueen, Keith & Veronica Mars, Weevil, Wilt, Joey, Pacy, Dawson, Ellie, Katie, Simone, Benjy, Nom Anor, Fantastic Max, FX, Dr. Seth Brundel, & all 34 Arachnids are destroyed within minutes by this amazing display of power from Onslaught. Beta Ray Bill, Star Sapphire, & Despotellis take to the air but Beta Ray Bill is by Guy Gardner, Jet Ray (Ben 10), Lightning Lad, & Cosmic Boy and is defeated with only killing Lightning Lad. Star Sapphire is quadruple teamed as well by Sodom Yat & The Insecticons. Star Sapphire takes out Shrapnel, but is quickly killed by the rest of his mini-squad. Despotellis is a little hard to find, but once he is he is destroyed by the quartet of Cosmic Boy, Phantom Girl, Siryn, & Tomar Tu. Darkwing Duck was able to dive below the surface to avoid Onslaught’s attack, but is attacked and killed by Ursula & Katara. At this point Han Solo turns to Jeff and says “What the hell is going on here? I’ve had about enough of this crap. Chewie dies last week, and now here I am on a damn water planet watching my team get wasted in record time. I’ll tell you what, screw the Untouchables and screw this whole league”. “My sentiments exactly” adds Jeff. Han then whips the hovercraft around and starts moving to the back of Broadside. “What’s the plan Han ol’ buddy” Jeff says. Han answers with: “I don’t know much about these Transformers, but I got to imagine that this is Broadside’s backside; and I plan to drive this hovercraft right up his A**”. Han then finishes with: “Are you with me buddy”? Jeff then screams at the top of his lungs right as they are about to crash: “NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN...........(PAUSE).........ABOUT”! This action, which is the closest thing to an attack that Built Ford Tough has attempted all day sure enough blows up Broadside and sends The Untouchables into the water. Most aboard are fine, but Navy SEAL #33 & 34, Slippy Toad, The Burger King, Timber Wolf, Chameleon Boy, &
Warblade all perish in the mayhem.
THE UNTOUCHABLES ARE VICTORIOUS!
The Untouchables are Aphrodite, The Sorceress of Castle Grayskull, The Insecticons: Bombshell, Kickback, & Shrapnel, The Pretender Monsters: Birdbrain, Scowl, Bristleback, Icepick, Slog, & Wildfly, The Protectobots: Hot Spot, Groove, First Aid, Blades, & Streetwise, Dr. Polaris, Tomar Tu, Sodom Yat, Pounce & Wingspan, Siryn, Navy SEAL #33-44, Navy SEAL Chief Petty Officer #11-13, Broadside, The Legion of Super Heroes: Cosmic Boy, Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl, Bouncing Boy, Triplicate Girl, Timber Wolf, Chameleon Boy, & Karate Kid, Eclipso, Odysseus, Onslaught, Guy Gardner (w/ Green & Red Rings), The Burger King, Ben Tennyson, Gwen Tennyson, & Grandpa Max, Emperor Han, Katara the Water Bender, Ursula, The W.I.L.D.C.A.T.S.: Spartan, Voodoo, Grifter, Maul, Zealot, Warblade, & Lord Emp, Kung Lao, Slippy Toad, & Captain Cold.
Except for a handful of flyers and adept water dwellers, the entire Untouchable squad is on the deck of Broadside who is transformed into his aircraft carrier form. The vast majority of The Built Ford Tough squad are simply struggling to keep their heads above the rough water. Smoky the Bear sees the vast waters around him and realizes that there may actually be something in the universe better than stopping forest fires. Sadly this revelation kills him. AB keeps Fantastic Max’s head above the water, but , Max sees a floating twig and grabs a hold of it. He shows it to FX who screams “Rock & Roll” and turns it in to a boat for the 3 of them. ..........Grimace sinks because he’s stupid.............. The Untouchables have such an enormous advantage because of Broadside that they actually do not even know how to begin picking off The “Bill” Ford Tough squad. Cosmic Boy, Voodoo, & Dr. Polaris get in a contest of sorts and begin using their magnetic powers to take out as many characters as possible. Onslaught seems apathetic to such things and simply ignores this. The 3 metal controllers attack so quickly, that I as a Watcher was actually unable to tell who was killing who. Basically any characters with metal are affected. Blue Beetle, Marvin, Moltar, The Beatles (because they were all riding in their yellow sub-marine), AB, Mr. T (ya know, the jewelry), Gigantor, & The Mandalorians are all destroyed. The Built Ford Tough squad is at a loss as to what to do next, while The Untouchables are cheering aboard Broadside at how close to victory they already are. Onslaught is now slightly enraged at the attention these lesser manipulators of metal are receiving and decides that now after all he does feel like participating although now all of the major metal targets have been used up. This angers Onslaught who turns his head and sees his buddies The Pretender Monsters who are already waving their hands and shaking their heads NO at the powerful mutant. Lord Emp looks at Emperor Han and says: “Well, it worked good last week”, as Onslaught uses his powers to rip all 6 of his teammates the Pretender Monsters to shards and use them as weapons against the Ford Boys below. This attack kills every other “sitting duck” that BFT had to offer. Ford Prefect, Zaffrod Beezlebrock, Trillian, Capt. Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper, Toshiko Sato, Ianto Jones, Dr. Who, Power Man, Iron Fist (who are holding on to each other for dear life (but still ain’t gay)), Archie, Cookies, Steve McQueen, Keith & Veronica Mars, Weevil, Wilt, Joey, Pacy, Dawson, Ellie, Katie, Simone, Benjy, Nom Anor, Fantastic Max, FX, Dr. Seth Brundel, & all 34 Arachnids are destroyed within minutes by this amazing display of power from Onslaught. Beta Ray Bill, Star Sapphire, & Despotellis take to the air but Beta Ray Bill is by Guy Gardner, Jet Ray (Ben 10), Lightning Lad, & Cosmic Boy and is defeated with only killing Lightning Lad. Star Sapphire is quadruple teamed as well by Sodom Yat & The Insecticons. Star Sapphire takes out Shrapnel, but is quickly killed by the rest of his mini-squad. Despotellis is a little hard to find, but once he is he is destroyed by the quartet of Cosmic Boy, Phantom Girl, Siryn, & Tomar Tu. Darkwing Duck was able to dive below the surface to avoid Onslaught’s attack, but is attacked and killed by Ursula & Katara. At this point Han Solo turns to Jeff and says “What the hell is going on here? I’ve had about enough of this crap. Chewie dies last week, and now here I am on a damn water planet watching my team get wasted in record time. I’ll tell you what, screw the Untouchables and screw this whole league”. “My sentiments exactly” adds Jeff. Han then whips the hovercraft around and starts moving to the back of Broadside. “What’s the plan Han ol’ buddy” Jeff says. Han answers with: “I don’t know much about these Transformers, but I got to imagine that this is Broadside’s backside; and I plan to drive this hovercraft right up his A**”. Han then finishes with: “Are you with me buddy”? Jeff then screams at the top of his lungs right as they are about to crash: “NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN...........(PAUSE).........ABOUT”! This action, which is the closest thing to an attack that Built Ford Tough has attempted all day sure enough blows up Broadside and sends The Untouchables into the water. Most aboard are fine, but Navy SEAL #33 & 34, Slippy Toad, The Burger King, Timber Wolf, Chameleon Boy, &
Warblade all perish in the mayhem.
THE UNTOUCHABLES ARE VICTORIOUS!
Season Three: Week 5: Le' Napoleon Brigade vs. The Syracuse Valley
Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Syracuse Valley
The Brigade is Fox, Namora, Namorita, Skeletor's Crack Troop #1, Jaws, Jaws 2, Aquagirl, Killer Shark, Wonder Woman, Morpheus, Alan Scott, Man at Arms & Teela, The Lochness Monster, Silver Dragon #4-9 (4 & 5 have 9 deaths), Storm Trooper #51-62, Leia Organa-Solo: Jedi, Power Girl, Guy Gardner (w/ yellow power ring), Batgirl, Darth Nihilus, Lara Croft, Jedi Knight #23A-28A, Atreides Soldier #1 & 2, Grape Ape, Spider Girl, Red Lantern #3, Metallo, Nightstar, (Kingdom Come) Flash, Dr. Juliet Burke, & Desmond Hume.
The Valley is Decepticon #1-3, Anakin Skywalker (w/ a blue light saber) & Kister in Gas Gasgano's pod, Knuckles (w/ a red light saber), Splinter, Leonardo, Venus Demilo, Doogle & Billy Mays in a Hovercraft, Gremlin #1 & 2, Xenomorph #94-100 (#94 has 9 deaths), Toxic Avenger, Little Goomba #6-29, Kree Soldier #1-6, Treasure Troll #27, Scooter, Guille, Bucky O'Hare, Deadeye Duck, Bruiser, Willy Duwitt, Pilot Jenny, & AFC Blinkie, Boomerang Bros. #1-6, Hammer Bros. #3-8, Fire Bros. #4-9, Giant Hammer Bros. #1-6, Rayden & Kid Thunder, Sub-Zero, Mr. Game & Watch, Shang Tsung, Rayne, Wonder Boy, Baby Nightcrawler, Nocturne, Wald, Beavis & Butthead w/ Buttchunk, Wingnut & Screwloose, Robocop, Godzooky, Navy Sailor #60-93, Teddy Boy, Critters #1-12, & Moritani Soldier #1-12.
This match takes place between the hours of 11pm and 12am…
Previously on FFL
Wonder Woman standing in front of her troops.
Wonder Woman: “This won’t be a battle so much as it will be a slaughter.”
Shot of Wonder Woman talking to the three Sharks.
Wonder Woman: “I hope you’re hungry, because it’s dinner time.”
Jaws, Jaws 2 and Killer Shark devour Navy Soldier’s #60-93.
Leonardo and Splinter are in the water talking to each other.
Leonardo: “Master, this match is a blood bath. What are we going to do?”
Splinter: “Do what we do best, persevere.”
Guy Gardner and Alan Scott are flying above a group of Valley fighters.
Guy Gardner: “You ready Alan?”
Alan Scott: “Let’s do this.”
Guy and Alan create a huge energy bubble around Xenomorph’s #94-100, Kree Soldier’s #1-6 and Wonder Boy and send it down to the bottom of the ocean, where they eventually drown.
A shot of Moritani Soldier’s killing Dr. Juliet Burke and Desmond Hume.
Moritani Soldier #3: “Hey Desmond, I bet you never saw this coming.”
Grape Ape is struggling to stay afloat in the water and right before he drowns, he takes Giant Hammer Brother #1 with him to his death.
Anakin and Kister in Gasgano’s podracer.
Kister: “This is so not wizard Ani.”
Anakin: “Don’t give up.”
Kister: “I won’t, but it doesn’t seem like we are going to finish this one.”
Namora looking at the legion of Valley soldier’s coming towards her.
Namora: “This is the final push Brigade, I hope you are all ready for this.”
Namorita: “Ready for this, this is all I’ve ever wanted.”
The Podracer, Billy Mays and Doogle in the hovercraft, the Bucky O’Hare crew, the Giant Hammer Brothers, Godzooky, Decepticon’s #1-3, Scooter, Robo Cop, Critter’s #1-12 and Moritani Soldiers #1-12 are all racing towards the Brigade on an ever-expanding sheet of ice being created by Sub-Zero.
The Syracuse Valley: “Attackkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!”
Power Girl: “Let’s end this now”
Cut to black.
11:01pm
Wingnut and Screwloose are flying up above the match. The night is dark and the moon is shining down upon the battle. They are witnessing the destruction of their team. They are both considering whether or not to intervene in the fight, but before they can do anything, they are vaporized by Nightstar’s starbolts.
Rayden and Kid Thunder are greatly angered by the way this match has been going. In one of the Valley’s few offensive moves of the match, they both send deadly bolts of lighting down into the water. The bolts land directly on Man at Arms and Teela, killing them instantly. The residual electricity also kills Lara Croft and Fox and seriously injures Spider Girl.
Wonder Woman flies over to Spider Girl and brings her to Guy Gardner, who protects her with an energy force field.
Wonder Woman: “Take care her Guy. I’ll take care of the weather men.”
Wonder Woman immediately flies over to Rayden and Kid Thunder, but before she is able to kill them, they send a lightening strike down upon her, knocking her into the water. As Rayden and Kid Thunder boast to each other about their god-like powers, Power Girl comes crashing down on top of the two valley members, sending them deep down into the depths of the ocean. Once Power Girl brings them down to a certain point, she leaves them to fend for themselves. Rayden and Kid Thunder struggle to get back up to the surface, but before they are able to do so, the Lochness Monster attacks them both from below. It isn’t long before they are both torn to shreds.
11:12pm
Namora and Namorita are ready for the Valley’s big push. The Valley has the strength in numbers and are all beyond stoked for this fight. They get even more excited when they see Namorita leave Namora and head down below into the water.
Kister: “She left, now it’s one against hundred Ani.”
Anakin: “I like these odds Kister.”
By this time the Bucky O’Hare crew has already begun firing upon Namora, who is easily evading the blasts. The Giant Hammer brothers are directly on top of Namora, when the ice platform that they are all standing on suddenly begins to break apart due to the fact that Namorita has burst through the ice from below. The ice platform completely shatter’s, sending the non-vehicled members of the Valley down into the water. Namora makes easy work of Critter #1-12, while Namorita takes care of the Moritani soldiers. Godzooky tries to fly away, but he is unable to take flight as the combination of his weight and the water make it impossible.
Billy Mays wades his way through the now icy waters and tries to pick up Bucky O’Hare and his friends. Mays is able to get the majority of the Bucky crew onto the hovercraft, but it is a futile effort as they are all overpowered by the combined efforts of Red Lantern #3 and Aquagirl. The Giant Hammer Brother’s #2-6 are never able to regain their balance in the water due to their extreme size as they all drown. Robocop quickly followed suit as he short-circuited and died as soon as he hit the water. Decepticons #1-3 were already transformed into water vehicles, so they were able to survive the ice explosion. They would soon find out that the powers of Red Lantern #3 and Aquagirl were far greater then even they could handle, as they were all destroyed in unison from a blast that originated from the power of the Red Lantern’s ring.
11:25pm
At this time Guy Gardner, Alan Scott and Wonder Woman are flying around picking off their enemies one by one. Guy Gardner sends bolts of energy down upon Splinter, Leonardo and Venus Demilo, destroying them instantly. Alan Scott brings the same destructive power down upon the Boomerang Brothers, the Hammer Brothers and the Fire Brothers; killing them all. Wonder Woman also has no trouble-overpowering Gremlin #1 & 2, the Toxic Avenger, Treasure Troll #27 and Little Goomba’s #6-29. Power Girl soon joined up with them, taking care of Scooter and Buttchunk.
During this time, Sub-Zero has been busy building vast ice walls around his remaining team members in an attempt to give at least a minor amount of protection. He has successfully shielded Shang Tsung, Baby Nightcrawler, Knuckles, Guile, Teddy Boy, Rayne, Wald and Beavis and Butthead in an ice enclosure. Wonder Woman was determined to make this ice castle a waste of time, but before she could do anything about it, an ominous black presence from below began to surface.
The four super powered Brigade members got ready for an attack, when out of nowhere, the black presence completely swallowed up Power Girl. Guy, Alan and Wonder Woman instantly began firing upon the dark being. At first it seemed not to do anything, but once all three of them really started hammering down upon it, it started to crack and eventually broke apart. The black presence turned out to be Mr. Game and Watch. A powerfully vague but now dead creature. Power Girl appeared to come out of this unharmed, as she flew back up to meet with her teammates.
Power Girl: “Thanks you guys. If you don’t mind, I think I am going to go back with the others and see if they need any help.”
Guy Gardner: “Great idea. We can take care of this.”
Power Girl then took off and headed back to the rest of the Brigade. Then Guy Gardner and Alan Scott flew down to take care of the ice castle, while Wonder Woman flew down to battle Sub-Zero. As Guy and Alan landed on top of the castle, they blasted a hole directly in the ceiling, but what they found inside what not what they expected. Instead of finding the remaining Valley members, all they found was Beavis and Butthead and Teddy Boy.
Butthead: “Huhhh, hey Beavis, that green dudes pants are really tight.”
Beavis: “Yeah, yeah. You can kind of see his thing.”
Butthead: “Yeah, it’s like, how do you hide a boner with in those.”
Beavis: “Umm, yeah. You said boner.”
Butthead: “Yeah, huh huh huh.”
Teddy Boy: “Shut up you guys, (looking up at the Lanterns) would you just kill us already.”
Alan and Guy: “Gladly.”
Alan and Guy both sent blast’s down inside the castle, killing all three of them. Then they both looked at each other and said, “Huh”.
Guy: “I think we might be in trouble.”
Alan: “Yeah, let’s head back to base.”
Guy: “Diana, you done with him yet?”
Wonder Woman: “Just a second.”
As she says this, she takes Sub-Zero’s head and in one fluent motion, snaps his neck.
Wonder Woman: “Yeah, what’s up?”
Guy: “Nobody’s in here. I think something is up, let’s head back to camp.”
Wonder Woman: “What do you mean nobodies…”
Just as she says this, she gets a message from the Flash. Even though she cannot see him, she can hear what he is telling her.
Wonder Woman: “We need to head back to camp right now, something terrible is happening and I think we are the only one’s who can stop it.”
11:28pm
Back at the Brigade’s base camp, Power Girl rushes up on the dozens of her team members who have yet to even join the fight. The many brigade members were all able to be out of the water due to the huge platforms that both Guy Gardner and Alan Scott were able to create via their rings.
Power Girl: “It’s almost done, there is only one thing left that we need to worry about.”
Batgirl: “Oh yeah, what’s that?”
Power Girl: “Me”
As she says this, she blasts Batgirl a hundred feet into the air, killing her instantly. She then sends the energy bubbled Spider-Girl down into the water, eventually killing her. She then beats the Atreides Soldier’s to death with her fists and takes Skeletor’s Crack Troop #1’s head clean off.
Leia Organa-Solo: “Kara, what are doing?”
Power Girl: “Ending this match. Oh and don’t call me Kara, the names T.J.”
Leia could obviously see that something was controlling Power Girl, which is why she quickly began to attempt communication with the Flash.
Leia Organa-Solo: “Quick guys, give me some protection.”
As soon as she said this, the Jedi Knight’s and Darth Nihilus put up a defense perimeter around her. Metallo also joined in, as he was really the only one who might be able to stop the super powered girl. Leia concentrated until she was in a deep trance, still barely able to communicate with the Flash.
Leia Organa-Solo: “If you can hear me, tell Diana that she needs to get back here immediately. Kara is no longer herself. This entire match depends on it.”
The Jedi’s, Sith and Metallo were able to keep Power Girl at bay, but as soon as they thought they had the upper hand, the remaining ice castle members appeared out of thin air. Knuckles ignited his red light saber and started to fight with Jedi Knight #23. The super speedy Knuckles is actually able to kill the Jedi Knight, but soon after that was slain in the back by Jedi Knight #24. Shang Tsung instantly took the form of Jedi Knight #23 and without them realizing it was their own teammate, killed Jedi Knight #27.
Guile tried to fight Darth Nihlus, but it was never even really a fight as the Sith Lord easily dispatched of the human.
Jedi Knight #24: “I don’t understand, how did they even get here.”
Darth Nihilus: “They transported here through that blue creature you fool. Now go and kill it.”
Jedi Knight #24: “But it’s only a child.”
Darth Nihilus: “Fine, be that way, Jedi.”
Darth Nihilus then sends a bolt of force lightening into the pint sized Nightcrawler, who instantly transports himself to the other side of the platform. The Sith Lord is now enraged and begins to run as fast as he can towards the mutant baby. The now coherent Leia gets up again and hopes that the Flash was able to get her message to Wonder Woman. She knows that they need them to take care of the Nocturne possessed Power Girl.
11:38pm
Meanwhile, Namora and Namorita have killed Godzooky, after waiting to see if he would drown on his own (he wouldn’t) and have decided they should probably go find Anakin and Kister. They know that they are not really a threat, but it is still a good idea to get rid of them. The two water queens along with Red Lantern #3 and Aquagirl eventually catch up to the high velocity pod and each take turns dismantling the racer. It is only a matter of seconds before both Anakin and Kister are left floating in the water, with nothing but Anakin’s now waterlogged light saber to help defend them.
Anakin: “Kister, I have a bad feeling about this.”
Kister: “It’s not so much a feeling Ani, as it seems to be a guarantee.”
As Kister says his last words to his best friend, Namora takes them both under water, where they will never again breathe another breathe of Oxygen.
Though Metallo has been putting up a great fight against the Nocturne possessed Power Girl, in the end she is just too much for him as she sends his crumpled body to the ocean floor. Then Power Girl, along with the Jedi Master looking Shang Tsung, took care of the rest of the Jedi’s. Leia was now on her own and knew she was no match for Power Girl, Rayne and Shang Tsung. Being the fighter she was though, she took out her light saber and took on the three of them anyways. Though it was a valiant effort, Leia was overpowered by the fighters and fell to her death, via a blow to the throat from Power Girl.
11:45pm
Darth Nihilus was still trying to catch the mutant baby when he ran into Morpheus, who was with the Silver Dragon’s and the Storm Troopers.
Darth Nihilus: “Where have you fool’s been. We are being slaughtered over.”
Morpheus: “We were unaware. We will head out right away.”
Darth Nihilus: “A great help you’ve been this match.”
Darth Nihilus begins to run away again when Morpheus asks him where he is going.
Darth Nihilus: “I have to find and destroy that baby. It’s very important that he dies.”
Morpheus looks at the Sith Lord and all of a sudden doesn’t feel so bad about missing the fight thus far.
Power Girl, Shang Tsung and Rayne stood proudly over the dead body of Leia, proudly boasting to each other over their victory. Just then, Guy, Alan and Diana reached the platform and surrounded the last threatening members of the Syracuse Valley.
Wonder Woman: “I don’t know what you’ve done with Kara, but I am personally going to see to it that you will not be around long enough to explain it to me.”
An enraged Wonder Woman then flew directly into Power Girl and took their fight far up into the sky. As she did this, the remaining members of the Brigade reached the platform and after a minute or so, attacked and killed Shang Tsung, Rayne and Wald. Namorita took an old piece of a building from the water’s below and drove it through the chest of Rayne. She then tore her head off to make sure her death was eternal. Alan Scott knocked Wald into the water, where Killer Shark and Jaws 2 fought over the body. Shang Tsung wouldn’t go down so easily, but Guy Gardner was able to contain his Tsung’s powers and collapse an energy mass directly on top of him.
As Wonder Woman and Power Girl’s battle continued up in the sky, Wonder Woman only kept getting angrier and angrier.
Wonder Woman: “Just die you stupid b*#$%.”
Power Girl: “You can’t kill me Diana.”
Namora: “Maybe she can’t, but I’d love to give it a try.”
As Power Girl looked over at Namora’s diversion, Wonder Woman hit her with such force that it sent her plummeting to the ocean. Then with the combined efforts of both Wonder Woman and Namora, they sent her deep down into the water. At this point, Namorita took over for Wonder Woman and between the two super powered water women, they were able to finally defeat the Nocturne possessed Power Girl.
Wonder Woman then met up with Guy and Alan as they tried to calm her down.
Guy: “It’s alright Diana, it’s over with. We won.”
Alan: “Yeah, just settle down. The girl’s took take of her.”
Wonder Woman: “But she killed Kara and took over her body. It’s just sick.”
Alan: “I know it is. But the match is over with now, so let’s just head back to base.”
Wonder Woman: “Your wrong Alan, this match isn’t over with yet.”
11:54pm
Wonder Woman instantly takes off and heads towards Darth Nilihus who is still trying to kill baby Nightcrawler.
Wonder Woman: “I killed how many people today and you can’t even catch a baby.”
Wonder Woman then flies over to Baby Nightcrawler and snap’s his little neck.
Wonder Woman: “And you call yourself a Sith Lord. Thanks for the help today Darth, you really did a lot.”
A still angry Wonder Woman then flew away and met up with the rest of her team while a now pouting Darth Nilihus just stood over the dead body of the baby mutant, feeling like a failure in a match that saw his team finally returning to greatness.
11:59:58pm
11:59:59pm
12:00:00am
The Syracuse Valley: All Dead
Le’ Napoleon Brigade: Namora, Namorita, Jaws, Jaws 2, Aquagirl, Killer Shark, Wonder Woman, Morpheus, Alan Scott, The Lochness Monster, Silver Dragon #4-9, Storm Trooper #51-62, Guy Gardner (Yellow Ring), Darth Nilihus, Red Lantern #3, Nightstar and Kingdom Come Flash all survived.
Le’ Napoleon Brigade Is Victorious!!!
The Brigade is Fox, Namora, Namorita, Skeletor's Crack Troop #1, Jaws, Jaws 2, Aquagirl, Killer Shark, Wonder Woman, Morpheus, Alan Scott, Man at Arms & Teela, The Lochness Monster, Silver Dragon #4-9 (4 & 5 have 9 deaths), Storm Trooper #51-62, Leia Organa-Solo: Jedi, Power Girl, Guy Gardner (w/ yellow power ring), Batgirl, Darth Nihilus, Lara Croft, Jedi Knight #23A-28A, Atreides Soldier #1 & 2, Grape Ape, Spider Girl, Red Lantern #3, Metallo, Nightstar, (Kingdom Come) Flash, Dr. Juliet Burke, & Desmond Hume.
The Valley is Decepticon #1-3, Anakin Skywalker (w/ a blue light saber) & Kister in Gas Gasgano's pod, Knuckles (w/ a red light saber), Splinter, Leonardo, Venus Demilo, Doogle & Billy Mays in a Hovercraft, Gremlin #1 & 2, Xenomorph #94-100 (#94 has 9 deaths), Toxic Avenger, Little Goomba #6-29, Kree Soldier #1-6, Treasure Troll #27, Scooter, Guille, Bucky O'Hare, Deadeye Duck, Bruiser, Willy Duwitt, Pilot Jenny, & AFC Blinkie, Boomerang Bros. #1-6, Hammer Bros. #3-8, Fire Bros. #4-9, Giant Hammer Bros. #1-6, Rayden & Kid Thunder, Sub-Zero, Mr. Game & Watch, Shang Tsung, Rayne, Wonder Boy, Baby Nightcrawler, Nocturne, Wald, Beavis & Butthead w/ Buttchunk, Wingnut & Screwloose, Robocop, Godzooky, Navy Sailor #60-93, Teddy Boy, Critters #1-12, & Moritani Soldier #1-12.
This match takes place between the hours of 11pm and 12am…
Previously on FFL
Wonder Woman standing in front of her troops.
Wonder Woman: “This won’t be a battle so much as it will be a slaughter.”
Shot of Wonder Woman talking to the three Sharks.
Wonder Woman: “I hope you’re hungry, because it’s dinner time.”
Jaws, Jaws 2 and Killer Shark devour Navy Soldier’s #60-93.
Leonardo and Splinter are in the water talking to each other.
Leonardo: “Master, this match is a blood bath. What are we going to do?”
Splinter: “Do what we do best, persevere.”
Guy Gardner and Alan Scott are flying above a group of Valley fighters.
Guy Gardner: “You ready Alan?”
Alan Scott: “Let’s do this.”
Guy and Alan create a huge energy bubble around Xenomorph’s #94-100, Kree Soldier’s #1-6 and Wonder Boy and send it down to the bottom of the ocean, where they eventually drown.
A shot of Moritani Soldier’s killing Dr. Juliet Burke and Desmond Hume.
Moritani Soldier #3: “Hey Desmond, I bet you never saw this coming.”
Grape Ape is struggling to stay afloat in the water and right before he drowns, he takes Giant Hammer Brother #1 with him to his death.
Anakin and Kister in Gasgano’s podracer.
Kister: “This is so not wizard Ani.”
Anakin: “Don’t give up.”
Kister: “I won’t, but it doesn’t seem like we are going to finish this one.”
Namora looking at the legion of Valley soldier’s coming towards her.
Namora: “This is the final push Brigade, I hope you are all ready for this.”
Namorita: “Ready for this, this is all I’ve ever wanted.”
The Podracer, Billy Mays and Doogle in the hovercraft, the Bucky O’Hare crew, the Giant Hammer Brothers, Godzooky, Decepticon’s #1-3, Scooter, Robo Cop, Critter’s #1-12 and Moritani Soldiers #1-12 are all racing towards the Brigade on an ever-expanding sheet of ice being created by Sub-Zero.
The Syracuse Valley: “Attackkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!”
Power Girl: “Let’s end this now”
Cut to black.
11:01pm
Wingnut and Screwloose are flying up above the match. The night is dark and the moon is shining down upon the battle. They are witnessing the destruction of their team. They are both considering whether or not to intervene in the fight, but before they can do anything, they are vaporized by Nightstar’s starbolts.
Rayden and Kid Thunder are greatly angered by the way this match has been going. In one of the Valley’s few offensive moves of the match, they both send deadly bolts of lighting down into the water. The bolts land directly on Man at Arms and Teela, killing them instantly. The residual electricity also kills Lara Croft and Fox and seriously injures Spider Girl.
Wonder Woman flies over to Spider Girl and brings her to Guy Gardner, who protects her with an energy force field.
Wonder Woman: “Take care her Guy. I’ll take care of the weather men.”
Wonder Woman immediately flies over to Rayden and Kid Thunder, but before she is able to kill them, they send a lightening strike down upon her, knocking her into the water. As Rayden and Kid Thunder boast to each other about their god-like powers, Power Girl comes crashing down on top of the two valley members, sending them deep down into the depths of the ocean. Once Power Girl brings them down to a certain point, she leaves them to fend for themselves. Rayden and Kid Thunder struggle to get back up to the surface, but before they are able to do so, the Lochness Monster attacks them both from below. It isn’t long before they are both torn to shreds.
11:12pm
Namora and Namorita are ready for the Valley’s big push. The Valley has the strength in numbers and are all beyond stoked for this fight. They get even more excited when they see Namorita leave Namora and head down below into the water.
Kister: “She left, now it’s one against hundred Ani.”
Anakin: “I like these odds Kister.”
By this time the Bucky O’Hare crew has already begun firing upon Namora, who is easily evading the blasts. The Giant Hammer brothers are directly on top of Namora, when the ice platform that they are all standing on suddenly begins to break apart due to the fact that Namorita has burst through the ice from below. The ice platform completely shatter’s, sending the non-vehicled members of the Valley down into the water. Namora makes easy work of Critter #1-12, while Namorita takes care of the Moritani soldiers. Godzooky tries to fly away, but he is unable to take flight as the combination of his weight and the water make it impossible.
Billy Mays wades his way through the now icy waters and tries to pick up Bucky O’Hare and his friends. Mays is able to get the majority of the Bucky crew onto the hovercraft, but it is a futile effort as they are all overpowered by the combined efforts of Red Lantern #3 and Aquagirl. The Giant Hammer Brother’s #2-6 are never able to regain their balance in the water due to their extreme size as they all drown. Robocop quickly followed suit as he short-circuited and died as soon as he hit the water. Decepticons #1-3 were already transformed into water vehicles, so they were able to survive the ice explosion. They would soon find out that the powers of Red Lantern #3 and Aquagirl were far greater then even they could handle, as they were all destroyed in unison from a blast that originated from the power of the Red Lantern’s ring.
11:25pm
At this time Guy Gardner, Alan Scott and Wonder Woman are flying around picking off their enemies one by one. Guy Gardner sends bolts of energy down upon Splinter, Leonardo and Venus Demilo, destroying them instantly. Alan Scott brings the same destructive power down upon the Boomerang Brothers, the Hammer Brothers and the Fire Brothers; killing them all. Wonder Woman also has no trouble-overpowering Gremlin #1 & 2, the Toxic Avenger, Treasure Troll #27 and Little Goomba’s #6-29. Power Girl soon joined up with them, taking care of Scooter and Buttchunk.
During this time, Sub-Zero has been busy building vast ice walls around his remaining team members in an attempt to give at least a minor amount of protection. He has successfully shielded Shang Tsung, Baby Nightcrawler, Knuckles, Guile, Teddy Boy, Rayne, Wald and Beavis and Butthead in an ice enclosure. Wonder Woman was determined to make this ice castle a waste of time, but before she could do anything about it, an ominous black presence from below began to surface.
The four super powered Brigade members got ready for an attack, when out of nowhere, the black presence completely swallowed up Power Girl. Guy, Alan and Wonder Woman instantly began firing upon the dark being. At first it seemed not to do anything, but once all three of them really started hammering down upon it, it started to crack and eventually broke apart. The black presence turned out to be Mr. Game and Watch. A powerfully vague but now dead creature. Power Girl appeared to come out of this unharmed, as she flew back up to meet with her teammates.
Power Girl: “Thanks you guys. If you don’t mind, I think I am going to go back with the others and see if they need any help.”
Guy Gardner: “Great idea. We can take care of this.”
Power Girl then took off and headed back to the rest of the Brigade. Then Guy Gardner and Alan Scott flew down to take care of the ice castle, while Wonder Woman flew down to battle Sub-Zero. As Guy and Alan landed on top of the castle, they blasted a hole directly in the ceiling, but what they found inside what not what they expected. Instead of finding the remaining Valley members, all they found was Beavis and Butthead and Teddy Boy.
Butthead: “Huhhh, hey Beavis, that green dudes pants are really tight.”
Beavis: “Yeah, yeah. You can kind of see his thing.”
Butthead: “Yeah, it’s like, how do you hide a boner with in those.”
Beavis: “Umm, yeah. You said boner.”
Butthead: “Yeah, huh huh huh.”
Teddy Boy: “Shut up you guys, (looking up at the Lanterns) would you just kill us already.”
Alan and Guy: “Gladly.”
Alan and Guy both sent blast’s down inside the castle, killing all three of them. Then they both looked at each other and said, “Huh”.
Guy: “I think we might be in trouble.”
Alan: “Yeah, let’s head back to base.”
Guy: “Diana, you done with him yet?”
Wonder Woman: “Just a second.”
As she says this, she takes Sub-Zero’s head and in one fluent motion, snaps his neck.
Wonder Woman: “Yeah, what’s up?”
Guy: “Nobody’s in here. I think something is up, let’s head back to camp.”
Wonder Woman: “What do you mean nobodies…”
Just as she says this, she gets a message from the Flash. Even though she cannot see him, she can hear what he is telling her.
Wonder Woman: “We need to head back to camp right now, something terrible is happening and I think we are the only one’s who can stop it.”
11:28pm
Back at the Brigade’s base camp, Power Girl rushes up on the dozens of her team members who have yet to even join the fight. The many brigade members were all able to be out of the water due to the huge platforms that both Guy Gardner and Alan Scott were able to create via their rings.
Power Girl: “It’s almost done, there is only one thing left that we need to worry about.”
Batgirl: “Oh yeah, what’s that?”
Power Girl: “Me”
As she says this, she blasts Batgirl a hundred feet into the air, killing her instantly. She then sends the energy bubbled Spider-Girl down into the water, eventually killing her. She then beats the Atreides Soldier’s to death with her fists and takes Skeletor’s Crack Troop #1’s head clean off.
Leia Organa-Solo: “Kara, what are doing?”
Power Girl: “Ending this match. Oh and don’t call me Kara, the names T.J.”
Leia could obviously see that something was controlling Power Girl, which is why she quickly began to attempt communication with the Flash.
Leia Organa-Solo: “Quick guys, give me some protection.”
As soon as she said this, the Jedi Knight’s and Darth Nihilus put up a defense perimeter around her. Metallo also joined in, as he was really the only one who might be able to stop the super powered girl. Leia concentrated until she was in a deep trance, still barely able to communicate with the Flash.
Leia Organa-Solo: “If you can hear me, tell Diana that she needs to get back here immediately. Kara is no longer herself. This entire match depends on it.”
The Jedi’s, Sith and Metallo were able to keep Power Girl at bay, but as soon as they thought they had the upper hand, the remaining ice castle members appeared out of thin air. Knuckles ignited his red light saber and started to fight with Jedi Knight #23. The super speedy Knuckles is actually able to kill the Jedi Knight, but soon after that was slain in the back by Jedi Knight #24. Shang Tsung instantly took the form of Jedi Knight #23 and without them realizing it was their own teammate, killed Jedi Knight #27.
Guile tried to fight Darth Nihlus, but it was never even really a fight as the Sith Lord easily dispatched of the human.
Jedi Knight #24: “I don’t understand, how did they even get here.”
Darth Nihilus: “They transported here through that blue creature you fool. Now go and kill it.”
Jedi Knight #24: “But it’s only a child.”
Darth Nihilus: “Fine, be that way, Jedi.”
Darth Nihilus then sends a bolt of force lightening into the pint sized Nightcrawler, who instantly transports himself to the other side of the platform. The Sith Lord is now enraged and begins to run as fast as he can towards the mutant baby. The now coherent Leia gets up again and hopes that the Flash was able to get her message to Wonder Woman. She knows that they need them to take care of the Nocturne possessed Power Girl.
11:38pm
Meanwhile, Namora and Namorita have killed Godzooky, after waiting to see if he would drown on his own (he wouldn’t) and have decided they should probably go find Anakin and Kister. They know that they are not really a threat, but it is still a good idea to get rid of them. The two water queens along with Red Lantern #3 and Aquagirl eventually catch up to the high velocity pod and each take turns dismantling the racer. It is only a matter of seconds before both Anakin and Kister are left floating in the water, with nothing but Anakin’s now waterlogged light saber to help defend them.
Anakin: “Kister, I have a bad feeling about this.”
Kister: “It’s not so much a feeling Ani, as it seems to be a guarantee.”
As Kister says his last words to his best friend, Namora takes them both under water, where they will never again breathe another breathe of Oxygen.
Though Metallo has been putting up a great fight against the Nocturne possessed Power Girl, in the end she is just too much for him as she sends his crumpled body to the ocean floor. Then Power Girl, along with the Jedi Master looking Shang Tsung, took care of the rest of the Jedi’s. Leia was now on her own and knew she was no match for Power Girl, Rayne and Shang Tsung. Being the fighter she was though, she took out her light saber and took on the three of them anyways. Though it was a valiant effort, Leia was overpowered by the fighters and fell to her death, via a blow to the throat from Power Girl.
11:45pm
Darth Nihilus was still trying to catch the mutant baby when he ran into Morpheus, who was with the Silver Dragon’s and the Storm Troopers.
Darth Nihilus: “Where have you fool’s been. We are being slaughtered over.”
Morpheus: “We were unaware. We will head out right away.”
Darth Nihilus: “A great help you’ve been this match.”
Darth Nihilus begins to run away again when Morpheus asks him where he is going.
Darth Nihilus: “I have to find and destroy that baby. It’s very important that he dies.”
Morpheus looks at the Sith Lord and all of a sudden doesn’t feel so bad about missing the fight thus far.
Power Girl, Shang Tsung and Rayne stood proudly over the dead body of Leia, proudly boasting to each other over their victory. Just then, Guy, Alan and Diana reached the platform and surrounded the last threatening members of the Syracuse Valley.
Wonder Woman: “I don’t know what you’ve done with Kara, but I am personally going to see to it that you will not be around long enough to explain it to me.”
An enraged Wonder Woman then flew directly into Power Girl and took their fight far up into the sky. As she did this, the remaining members of the Brigade reached the platform and after a minute or so, attacked and killed Shang Tsung, Rayne and Wald. Namorita took an old piece of a building from the water’s below and drove it through the chest of Rayne. She then tore her head off to make sure her death was eternal. Alan Scott knocked Wald into the water, where Killer Shark and Jaws 2 fought over the body. Shang Tsung wouldn’t go down so easily, but Guy Gardner was able to contain his Tsung’s powers and collapse an energy mass directly on top of him.
As Wonder Woman and Power Girl’s battle continued up in the sky, Wonder Woman only kept getting angrier and angrier.
Wonder Woman: “Just die you stupid b*#$%.”
Power Girl: “You can’t kill me Diana.”
Namora: “Maybe she can’t, but I’d love to give it a try.”
As Power Girl looked over at Namora’s diversion, Wonder Woman hit her with such force that it sent her plummeting to the ocean. Then with the combined efforts of both Wonder Woman and Namora, they sent her deep down into the water. At this point, Namorita took over for Wonder Woman and between the two super powered water women, they were able to finally defeat the Nocturne possessed Power Girl.
Wonder Woman then met up with Guy and Alan as they tried to calm her down.
Guy: “It’s alright Diana, it’s over with. We won.”
Alan: “Yeah, just settle down. The girl’s took take of her.”
Wonder Woman: “But she killed Kara and took over her body. It’s just sick.”
Alan: “I know it is. But the match is over with now, so let’s just head back to base.”
Wonder Woman: “Your wrong Alan, this match isn’t over with yet.”
11:54pm
Wonder Woman instantly takes off and heads towards Darth Nilihus who is still trying to kill baby Nightcrawler.
Wonder Woman: “I killed how many people today and you can’t even catch a baby.”
Wonder Woman then flies over to Baby Nightcrawler and snap’s his little neck.
Wonder Woman: “And you call yourself a Sith Lord. Thanks for the help today Darth, you really did a lot.”
A still angry Wonder Woman then flew away and met up with the rest of her team while a now pouting Darth Nilihus just stood over the dead body of the baby mutant, feeling like a failure in a match that saw his team finally returning to greatness.
11:59:58pm
11:59:59pm
12:00:00am
The Syracuse Valley: All Dead
Le’ Napoleon Brigade: Namora, Namorita, Jaws, Jaws 2, Aquagirl, Killer Shark, Wonder Woman, Morpheus, Alan Scott, The Lochness Monster, Silver Dragon #4-9, Storm Trooper #51-62, Guy Gardner (Yellow Ring), Darth Nilihus, Red Lantern #3, Nightstar and Kingdom Come Flash all survived.
Le’ Napoleon Brigade Is Victorious!!!
Monday, April 5, 2010
Team S.P. Vs. Oblivio
Team S.P. is Xenomorph #1-25, Black Manta, Namor & his Griffin, Mimic, Aspen, SHIELD Agent #1-6, Blockbuster, The Enchantress, Mastermind, Vision, Female Sentinel #1-4, Brainiac in a Swift Boat, Navy Sailor #1-13, & Marian Ravenwood.
Oblivio is Chucky (w/ a yellow power ring & red lightsaber), Darwin, Triton, The Tiger Sharks: Lorka, Mako, Walro, Dolph, Octavia, Angel, & Dog Fish, Dementor #10, Black Dragon #8, Krayt Dragon #5, Purple Dragon #21, Ace Duck, Griffin #17, The Secret Saturdays: Zak Saturday (w/ green lightsaber), Solomon "Doc" Saturday, Drew, Fiskerton, Komodo, Zon, & Doyle Blackwell (w/ a blue lightsaber), The Scarlet Spider, Heavy, The Brotherhood of Evil: The Brain, Monsieur Mallah, Gen. Immortus, Garguax, & Madam Rouge, Edward & Bella, Vampire #99, Space Godzilla, Jet Jaguar, Widget (w/ body), Predator #46, Orion, & Mr. Incredible.
As the match begins Brainiac speaks to his teammate of 3 years Namor and says: "I believe I will take point during this match, I have a plan that is fool proof, and my 12th level intellect is obviously required for a match of this size". “I say NAY” retorts the Sub-Mariner, “it is I who have led this team to victory in 7 straight water matches and it is I who will continue to carry that mantle”. This power struggle remains unresolved as Namor dives deep into the salty water of the post-apocalyptic earth, where he is followed by Black Manta, Aspen, & Mimic; who has taken the powers of Namor, Aspen, & Mastermind for the time being. Brainiac sits in the back of the Swift Boat, which is being driven by Navy Sailors #1-3, they are also joined by Marian & The Enchantress. Brainiac realizes that Namor is not going to listen to his commands, so he uses what he knows his deep-sea bound teammates are going to do in formulating his plan of attack. He orders the Sailor to turn the small vessel around and hang back while the “lesser” members of Team S.P. cause some bonus damage. Little does Brainiac know that Triton’s plan of action, is not to dissimilar. Triton is deep under the water himself with Darwin (who has grown gills and flippers) and The Tiger Sharks (minus Dolph of course who is (Shocker) up at the top of the water getting air and reminding everyone that he is by far the most useless Tiger Shark). Triton says to Darwin that he realizes that despite their amazing individual power that their team is an underdog against the formidable Team S.P. squad and that if they are going to have a chance than they are going to have to win a war of attrition by letting their other teammates do as much damage as possible before the “true water powers” of the team show their faces. As the Oblivio crew moves in to attack, they are first met by Team S.P.’s Xenomorphs (just as Brainiac had planned). The large and powerful Xenomorphs move thru the water with a surprising amount of speed and grace. In the air, Oblivio has several combatants circling the water’s airspace, but Team S.P. has only Namor’s Griffin, who is being ridden by Mastermind and Vision who is flying around in his intangible state. We are assuming (just this once) for the sake of this match that the Krayt Dragon is like they were portrayed in the episode Robot Chicken, where they are sea dwelling creatures (and not giant desert creatures like they are typically portrayed). The giant Krayt Dragon leaps out of the water and comes down hard on 2 of the Aliens ripping them apart. Their acid blood barely slows down the massive creature, but the Krayt Dragon is eventually killed when the remaining 23 Xenomorphs rip the Tatooine bred monster to shreds. Dolph manages to kill a Xenomorph (fine I’ll give the guy a little credit since we are in a water match), but he is quickly torn apart by Xenomorph #3. Ace Duck is not only moving swiftly thru the water, but he is also using his laser gun to cap him sum Xenomorphs like it ain’t no thang. Ace Duck uses his gun to single-handedly kill 3 Aliens, and then kills one more with his bare ( well they’re still feathered) hands before he is sprayed by acid and brutally ripped apart. The Secret Saturdays (minus Doyle who is with the Oblivio air force due to his jet pack) fight valiantly even though they are a bit out of their element floating in the water. With their combined efforts are unable to take out more than just 5 Xenomorphs, before the are wasted as well. Heavy backs up The Scarlet Spider who takes out 2 Aliens plus Heavy’s one but they both succumb to the force of the perfect biological weapons as well. Edward takes out 2 while his long lost bitten brother from another human-vampire-uninfected mother takes out one before they are overcome by the Xenomorphs speed and ability to work as a unit, despite inferior intelligence. Predator #46 thinks to himself that it is supposed to be Alien Vs. Predator, not 10 Aliens Vs. Predator which definitely would make for a crappy movie, because it lasted about 10 seconds (or maybe some of you would have liked this version more: Your call). The Brain has combined his own intelligence with that of Mallahs & added the cunning military skills of Immortus and Garguax, to build a raft (yeah, that’s it a raft: what were you expecting a space ship? They’re smart but they don’t have much to work with here, give them a break). It is this raft that is keeping them away from the Xenomorph slaughter for the moment. The Xenomorphs are now circling in the water searching for more prey, when all of the sudden, Widget creates a portal, and from that portal appears Space Godzilla. Xenomorph #21 leaps out of the water and crushes Widget, but that was the last kill that they were credited with as Space Godzilla manages to use the element of surprise (and not to mention really big feet and cosmic fire breath) to take out the last 10 Aliens. The yellow lantern/evil doll known as Chucky leads the Oblivio air strike against Vision, Mastermind, & the Griffin. Mastermind uses his powers to take over whatever semblance of a mind Dementor #10 has and totally wipes it. But he is not Doyle Blackwell comes flying up in his jetpack, but Mastermind makes him turn the lightsaber on himself before he can cause any damage to Team S.P. Mastermind’s brief reign of terror comes to an end though, when Purple Dragon #21 flies over top of the Griifin and bites off Mastermind’s head. Griffin retaliates and goes in for the kill on the dragon, which he gets. Namor’s Griffin then attacks Griffin #17 and creates the same result, with Griffin #17’s large furry body falling to the salty waters below. It is unable to be known who would have come out on top of the battle between the Griffin and Black Dragon #8, because before the fight could be finished Chucky used an enormous yellow energy produced axe to cut them both in half. As a Watcher, I almost went against the rules and asked Chucky why he did this when it killed his own teammate as well, but Chucky was to busy maniacally laughing. The Brotherhood of Evil is traveling alongside Orion & Mr. Incredible on the where to Brainiac’s swift boat, while the 4 Sentinels, one of whom is carrying Blockbuster are flying in toward Space Godzilla & Jet Jaguar. Sentinel #2 throws Blockbuster at Jet Jaguar and Blockbuster grabs a hold of the Ultra Man rip-off/Godzilla BFF. The 2 of them begin pounding on each other with punches that could easily level buildings, but the 2 of them do not let up at all, even as they fall in to the water. Space Godzilla manages to take out Female Sentinel #1 & 3 with his cosmic fire breath, and then finishes off #4 with a haymaker that breaks the advanced Sentinel in 2. Jet Jaguar manages to finish off Blockbuster, but as he does he is caught with a barrage of firepower from Sentinel #2 which finishes the weakened Jet Jaguar. Jet Jaguar’s death is avenged very quickly by his best friend forever’s cosmic cousin only seconds after the fight. Vision is able to stay intangible while Chucky swings his red lightsaber thru the nothingness. Vision continues to stay intangible thru the yellow energy aura that Chucky’s ring is emanating as well, but he foregoes his intangibility for only a second and only in his hands which is what he uses to crush in Chucky’s little plastic head. The Brain is not outsmarted very often, but Brainiac is able to see the ace that is his intelligence and then trump it. The raft approaches Brainiac’s swift boat, but as it does The SHIELD Agents and Navy Sailors all rip off their snorkels and jump out of the water to defend their leader. As the agents and sailors execute their diversionary tactic, Enchantress takes over the minds of Mr. Incredible and Orion. She uses her feminine wiles to make them fight each other for her love. They both become so obsessed with both the fight and the prize that they drown while trying to win them both. Space Godzilla comes up from behind but Brainiac executes a fail safe that he secretly inserted in to Vision at the beginning of Season 1. Brainiac remotely takes over Vision’s mind and orders him to fly into Space Godzilla’s heart while in his intangible state. Vision then (unknowingly) turns his body into a substance as hard as diamond, killing both himself and Space Godzilla. The agents and sailors are dying quick but are serving their purpose as well. They manage to destroy the raft, kill Garguax and most importantly break open The Brain’s canister, before they are all killed. Mallah, Rouge, & Immortus are all aboard the cramped swift boat wreaking havoc. Brainiac rips Immortus’ head clean off while Madam Rouge easily takes out the 3 remaining Navy Sailors. Monsieur Mallah kills Enchantress with a swift kick to the head and then tries to crush Marian Ravenwood with his fists; but Marian dodges out of the way in the knick of time and sticks her saber into his back, piercing his heart. She is then strangled to death by Madam Rouge’s elasticized arms. Madam Rouge then moves even quicker than Brainiac can think as she trips him up with her stretched left arm and then brings her right leg down on his “big brained” head like it was an anvil, to finally kill the mighty Brainiac. Madam Rouge has little time to celebrate this victory as the swift boat is quickly capsized by the powers of Aspen. Rouge dies and Namor looks to Aspen and says: we should probably actually begin this battle now”. Namor, along with Black Manta, Mimic, & Aspen swim deep down into the ocean depths where they find Triton, Darwin, & The Tiger Sharks (minus Dolph, but they are better off without him). Namor and Triton begin battling with each other and find that they are evenly matched. The 2 combatants are both in their prime environment and are showing it as this amazing battle takes place. Mimic battles with Darwin in a similar battle, while Black Manta and Aspen take on The Tiger Sharks. Black Manta and Aspen don’t work together very well, but it is well enough for them to meet each other in the middle of the small battle area after they have wiped out Lorka, Mako, Walro, Octavia, Angel, & Dog Fish. Darwin’s ability to adept to anything is more than just amazing, but Mimic has the ability to use a person’s own abilities against them. So not only is Mimic’s body adapting to the surroundings in the exact same way that Darwin’s is, he also retains the powers of Namor and Aspen as well, which are what he uses to kill Darwin. Triton may have had what it takes to kill Namor, but once The Sub-Mariner’s buddies come to lend him a hand, he just doesn’t have what it takes. Triton puts his 3 pronged weapon into the helmet of Black Manta, but that is the only one of the 3 he is able to make join him in death, as he is overwhelmed by Namor, Aspen, & Mimic.
TEAM S.P. IS VICTORIOUS!
Oblivio is Chucky (w/ a yellow power ring & red lightsaber), Darwin, Triton, The Tiger Sharks: Lorka, Mako, Walro, Dolph, Octavia, Angel, & Dog Fish, Dementor #10, Black Dragon #8, Krayt Dragon #5, Purple Dragon #21, Ace Duck, Griffin #17, The Secret Saturdays: Zak Saturday (w/ green lightsaber), Solomon "Doc" Saturday, Drew, Fiskerton, Komodo, Zon, & Doyle Blackwell (w/ a blue lightsaber), The Scarlet Spider, Heavy, The Brotherhood of Evil: The Brain, Monsieur Mallah, Gen. Immortus, Garguax, & Madam Rouge, Edward & Bella, Vampire #99, Space Godzilla, Jet Jaguar, Widget (w/ body), Predator #46, Orion, & Mr. Incredible.
As the match begins Brainiac speaks to his teammate of 3 years Namor and says: "I believe I will take point during this match, I have a plan that is fool proof, and my 12th level intellect is obviously required for a match of this size". “I say NAY” retorts the Sub-Mariner, “it is I who have led this team to victory in 7 straight water matches and it is I who will continue to carry that mantle”. This power struggle remains unresolved as Namor dives deep into the salty water of the post-apocalyptic earth, where he is followed by Black Manta, Aspen, & Mimic; who has taken the powers of Namor, Aspen, & Mastermind for the time being. Brainiac sits in the back of the Swift Boat, which is being driven by Navy Sailors #1-3, they are also joined by Marian & The Enchantress. Brainiac realizes that Namor is not going to listen to his commands, so he uses what he knows his deep-sea bound teammates are going to do in formulating his plan of attack. He orders the Sailor to turn the small vessel around and hang back while the “lesser” members of Team S.P. cause some bonus damage. Little does Brainiac know that Triton’s plan of action, is not to dissimilar. Triton is deep under the water himself with Darwin (who has grown gills and flippers) and The Tiger Sharks (minus Dolph of course who is (Shocker) up at the top of the water getting air and reminding everyone that he is by far the most useless Tiger Shark). Triton says to Darwin that he realizes that despite their amazing individual power that their team is an underdog against the formidable Team S.P. squad and that if they are going to have a chance than they are going to have to win a war of attrition by letting their other teammates do as much damage as possible before the “true water powers” of the team show their faces. As the Oblivio crew moves in to attack, they are first met by Team S.P.’s Xenomorphs (just as Brainiac had planned). The large and powerful Xenomorphs move thru the water with a surprising amount of speed and grace. In the air, Oblivio has several combatants circling the water’s airspace, but Team S.P. has only Namor’s Griffin, who is being ridden by Mastermind and Vision who is flying around in his intangible state. We are assuming (just this once) for the sake of this match that the Krayt Dragon is like they were portrayed in the episode Robot Chicken, where they are sea dwelling creatures (and not giant desert creatures like they are typically portrayed). The giant Krayt Dragon leaps out of the water and comes down hard on 2 of the Aliens ripping them apart. Their acid blood barely slows down the massive creature, but the Krayt Dragon is eventually killed when the remaining 23 Xenomorphs rip the Tatooine bred monster to shreds. Dolph manages to kill a Xenomorph (fine I’ll give the guy a little credit since we are in a water match), but he is quickly torn apart by Xenomorph #3. Ace Duck is not only moving swiftly thru the water, but he is also using his laser gun to cap him sum Xenomorphs like it ain’t no thang. Ace Duck uses his gun to single-handedly kill 3 Aliens, and then kills one more with his bare ( well they’re still feathered) hands before he is sprayed by acid and brutally ripped apart. The Secret Saturdays (minus Doyle who is with the Oblivio air force due to his jet pack) fight valiantly even though they are a bit out of their element floating in the water. With their combined efforts are unable to take out more than just 5 Xenomorphs, before the are wasted as well. Heavy backs up The Scarlet Spider who takes out 2 Aliens plus Heavy’s one but they both succumb to the force of the perfect biological weapons as well. Edward takes out 2 while his long lost bitten brother from another human-vampire-uninfected mother takes out one before they are overcome by the Xenomorphs speed and ability to work as a unit, despite inferior intelligence. Predator #46 thinks to himself that it is supposed to be Alien Vs. Predator, not 10 Aliens Vs. Predator which definitely would make for a crappy movie, because it lasted about 10 seconds (or maybe some of you would have liked this version more: Your call). The Brain has combined his own intelligence with that of Mallahs & added the cunning military skills of Immortus and Garguax, to build a raft (yeah, that’s it a raft: what were you expecting a space ship? They’re smart but they don’t have much to work with here, give them a break). It is this raft that is keeping them away from the Xenomorph slaughter for the moment. The Xenomorphs are now circling in the water searching for more prey, when all of the sudden, Widget creates a portal, and from that portal appears Space Godzilla. Xenomorph #21 leaps out of the water and crushes Widget, but that was the last kill that they were credited with as Space Godzilla manages to use the element of surprise (and not to mention really big feet and cosmic fire breath) to take out the last 10 Aliens. The yellow lantern/evil doll known as Chucky leads the Oblivio air strike against Vision, Mastermind, & the Griffin. Mastermind uses his powers to take over whatever semblance of a mind Dementor #10 has and totally wipes it. But he is not Doyle Blackwell comes flying up in his jetpack, but Mastermind makes him turn the lightsaber on himself before he can cause any damage to Team S.P. Mastermind’s brief reign of terror comes to an end though, when Purple Dragon #21 flies over top of the Griifin and bites off Mastermind’s head. Griffin retaliates and goes in for the kill on the dragon, which he gets. Namor’s Griffin then attacks Griffin #17 and creates the same result, with Griffin #17’s large furry body falling to the salty waters below. It is unable to be known who would have come out on top of the battle between the Griffin and Black Dragon #8, because before the fight could be finished Chucky used an enormous yellow energy produced axe to cut them both in half. As a Watcher, I almost went against the rules and asked Chucky why he did this when it killed his own teammate as well, but Chucky was to busy maniacally laughing. The Brotherhood of Evil is traveling alongside Orion & Mr. Incredible on the where to Brainiac’s swift boat, while the 4 Sentinels, one of whom is carrying Blockbuster are flying in toward Space Godzilla & Jet Jaguar. Sentinel #2 throws Blockbuster at Jet Jaguar and Blockbuster grabs a hold of the Ultra Man rip-off/Godzilla BFF. The 2 of them begin pounding on each other with punches that could easily level buildings, but the 2 of them do not let up at all, even as they fall in to the water. Space Godzilla manages to take out Female Sentinel #1 & 3 with his cosmic fire breath, and then finishes off #4 with a haymaker that breaks the advanced Sentinel in 2. Jet Jaguar manages to finish off Blockbuster, but as he does he is caught with a barrage of firepower from Sentinel #2 which finishes the weakened Jet Jaguar. Jet Jaguar’s death is avenged very quickly by his best friend forever’s cosmic cousin only seconds after the fight. Vision is able to stay intangible while Chucky swings his red lightsaber thru the nothingness. Vision continues to stay intangible thru the yellow energy aura that Chucky’s ring is emanating as well, but he foregoes his intangibility for only a second and only in his hands which is what he uses to crush in Chucky’s little plastic head. The Brain is not outsmarted very often, but Brainiac is able to see the ace that is his intelligence and then trump it. The raft approaches Brainiac’s swift boat, but as it does The SHIELD Agents and Navy Sailors all rip off their snorkels and jump out of the water to defend their leader. As the agents and sailors execute their diversionary tactic, Enchantress takes over the minds of Mr. Incredible and Orion. She uses her feminine wiles to make them fight each other for her love. They both become so obsessed with both the fight and the prize that they drown while trying to win them both. Space Godzilla comes up from behind but Brainiac executes a fail safe that he secretly inserted in to Vision at the beginning of Season 1. Brainiac remotely takes over Vision’s mind and orders him to fly into Space Godzilla’s heart while in his intangible state. Vision then (unknowingly) turns his body into a substance as hard as diamond, killing both himself and Space Godzilla. The agents and sailors are dying quick but are serving their purpose as well. They manage to destroy the raft, kill Garguax and most importantly break open The Brain’s canister, before they are all killed. Mallah, Rouge, & Immortus are all aboard the cramped swift boat wreaking havoc. Brainiac rips Immortus’ head clean off while Madam Rouge easily takes out the 3 remaining Navy Sailors. Monsieur Mallah kills Enchantress with a swift kick to the head and then tries to crush Marian Ravenwood with his fists; but Marian dodges out of the way in the knick of time and sticks her saber into his back, piercing his heart. She is then strangled to death by Madam Rouge’s elasticized arms. Madam Rouge then moves even quicker than Brainiac can think as she trips him up with her stretched left arm and then brings her right leg down on his “big brained” head like it was an anvil, to finally kill the mighty Brainiac. Madam Rouge has little time to celebrate this victory as the swift boat is quickly capsized by the powers of Aspen. Rouge dies and Namor looks to Aspen and says: we should probably actually begin this battle now”. Namor, along with Black Manta, Mimic, & Aspen swim deep down into the ocean depths where they find Triton, Darwin, & The Tiger Sharks (minus Dolph, but they are better off without him). Namor and Triton begin battling with each other and find that they are evenly matched. The 2 combatants are both in their prime environment and are showing it as this amazing battle takes place. Mimic battles with Darwin in a similar battle, while Black Manta and Aspen take on The Tiger Sharks. Black Manta and Aspen don’t work together very well, but it is well enough for them to meet each other in the middle of the small battle area after they have wiped out Lorka, Mako, Walro, Octavia, Angel, & Dog Fish. Darwin’s ability to adept to anything is more than just amazing, but Mimic has the ability to use a person’s own abilities against them. So not only is Mimic’s body adapting to the surroundings in the exact same way that Darwin’s is, he also retains the powers of Namor and Aspen as well, which are what he uses to kill Darwin. Triton may have had what it takes to kill Namor, but once The Sub-Mariner’s buddies come to lend him a hand, he just doesn’t have what it takes. Triton puts his 3 pronged weapon into the helmet of Black Manta, but that is the only one of the 3 he is able to make join him in death, as he is overwhelmed by Namor, Aspen, & Mimic.
TEAM S.P. IS VICTORIOUS!
Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos vs. Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies
“WATERWORLD is the environmentalist most popular apocalyptic view of the future.”
-Steve Rhodes
I look at the teams to do battle in Waterworld during this Week 5 Match. They are as follows:
The Commandos: Dave Bowman- The Starchild, Numnius, Dex-Starr, Karu-sil, Fatality, Taa, Rodimus Prime, Mary Marvel, Black Adam, Parallax, Vorian Atreides in a MiG, Capt. Steven Hiller in a MiG, Lazarus Long in a MiG, Lyra and Pantalamon in the Intention Craft, Buffy, Angel, Willow and Dumbledore in a Swift Boat, Zombie Cloverfield Monster, Zombie Darkseid, Red Dragons #1-6, Black Dragon #15, Harry Potter, Yurich Byrninson, Dr. Fate, Seraffina Pekkala and her Daemon, Gungans #1-12, and in a Sub-marine is Dr. Doom, Ginny Weasely and The Colonial Marines: Sgt. Apone, Corporal Hicks, Lt. Gorman, Bishop 341-BL, Corporal Dietrich, PFC Hudson, PFC Spunkmeyer, PFC Vasquez, Pvt. Drake, Pvt. Frost, Pvt. Wierzbowski, Corporal Ferro and Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley.
The Murderflies are: The Maxx and Julie Winters, Doc Brown, Lorne Michaels, Speedy Gonzalez, Brak, Dobby, Brain Damaged Beowulf, Sarah Palin, Jay and Silent Bob with Suzanne, Forge, Bob-Agent of Hydra, Agent X, Hellboy, Etrigan the Demon, Lobo, Guy Gardner and G’Nort, Booster Gold, Kyle Rayner OL, Ted Nugent, Greedo, Dorf, Hawkman and Hawkgirl, Batgirl (babs), The Planeteers: Kwame, Wheeler, Linka, Gi, Ma-Ti, and Suchi the monkey; The Power Rangers: Jason, Zack, Billy, Trini and Kimberly, Mecha Godzilla, Caramon and Raistlin Majere, The Powerpuff Girls-Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup, The Technobots-Scattershot, Lightspeed, Strafe, Nosecone, Afterburner (Computron), Ron Popeil, Shazam, Starro, Grimlock, King Leonidas, Dark Claw, The Wu-Tang Clan, Lobo the Duck, Capt. Caveman, Moon Knight, Great Lakes Avengers-Mr Immortal, Squirrel Girl, Big Bertha, Flatman, Quick Draw McGraw, The Blair Witch, Squirrels #1-15, Dynomutt the Dog Wonder, Ernie Harwell, Denver the Last Dinosaur.
Let the Battle begin. . .
The Murderflies stand on the water city’s platform. To spurn their teammates on, the Wu-Tang Clan gives a “shout out” war cry:
The game of chess, is like a swordfight,You must think first, before you move;Toad style is immensely strong, and immune to nearly any weapon,When it's properly used, it's almost invincible!
The Murderflies are revved up at the Clan’s war cry and intensely await the Commandos.
As the Commandos prepare to commence their attack, before the match truly begins, Dave Bowman- The Starchild looks over at Numnius.
Bowman: I just don’t like the way you look today.
A bewildered Numnius cannot react in time. Bowman unleashes his full cosmic fury upon Numnius and, once again, destroys his own teammate. Bowman floats over the water and watches the match unfold. [Note to owner: If the Commandos are going to succeed in the playoffs this year, the ownership is going to have to settle the continuing differences between these two characters.]
The MiGs fly together as a squadron over the floating city. Vorian Atreides, Captain Steve Hiller, and Lazarus Long are at the controls of the jets. The three focus on the most heinous characters on the Murderflies team- Squirrels #1-15. The Squirrels sense their upcoming destruction and begin to scatter. They are not quick enough, as the MiGs unleash their air-to-surface missiles upon the bushy tailed rodents. Squirrels #1-15 are incinerated. Squirrel Girl is heard to let out an agonizing moan, sensing their deaths. In response to the Squirrels’ annihilation, the Murderflies attack the MiGs. Dynomutt the Dog Wonder becomes a robot projectile and crashes through the MiG flown by Atreides. The MiG and Vorian Atreides are blown to smithereens. The MiG flown by Steve Hiller is attacked by Hawkman and Hawkgirl. Hawkman uses his mace to crush the MiG’s canopy while Hawkgirl uses her spear to pin Steve Hiller to the seat. The MiG crashes in the waters below, with a dead Hiller impaled to his seat. Lazarus Long’s MiG is met by the Powerpuff Girls. Their combined powers force the MiG into the waters below and both it and its rider, Lazarus Long, explode on impact.
The submarine of the Commandos carries Dr. Doom, Ginny Weasely and The Colonial Marines: Sgt. Apone, Corporal Hicks, Lt. Gorman, Bishop 341-BL, Corporal Dietrich, PFC Hudson, PFC Spunkmeyer, PFC Vasquez, Pvt. Drake, Pvt. Frost, Pvt. Wierzbowski, Corporal Ferro and Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley. The submarine rises and docks at the floating city. Before the Colonial Marines storm the site, Sgt. Apone can be heard addressing his Marines.
Apone: All right, sweethearts, you're a team and there's nothin' to worry about. We come here, and we gonna conquer, and we gonna kick some, is that understood? That's what we gonna do, sweethearts, we are going to go and get some. All right, people, on the ready line!
The Marines erupt from the submarine. They are met by Quick Draw McGraw, Bob-Agent of Hydra, Denver the Last Dinosaur and Speedy Gonzalez. Although McGraw is a superior marksman, he is no match for the combined firepower of the Marines. McGraw goes down in a blaze of glory. Bob-Agent of Hydra accidentally loses control of his bladder. As he begins to run away, he trips over his urine soaked pants and is shot dead by PFC Vasquez and Pvt. Drake. Meanwhile, PFC Hudson and Pvt. Frost riddle Denver the Last Dinosaur’s body with hundreds of bullets. Speedy Gonzalez races away and the Marines follow him. As the Marines round the corner of the building which the mouse ran, they see Sarah Palin standing in front of Jay, Silent Bob, Suzanne and Lorne Michaels. Palin looks to her comrades.
Palin: Only dead fish go with the flow!!!
With her creative (and true-life) comment, Palin leads the charge of her teammates at the Marines. They are shredded by the Marines’ weapons. Sgt. Apone notices Speedy around another corner. The mouse smiles and rushes away. As the Marines turn the corner, they are met by Hellboy, Etrigan the Demon, Agent X, Julie Winter, the Maxx, Lobo and Lobo the Duck. Although Julie Winters is killed, an onslaught ensues as the Murderflies rip through Sgt. Apone, Lt. Gorman, Corporal Dietrich, PFC Spunkmeyer, Pvt. Frost, Pvt. Wierzbowski and Corporal Ferro. The remaining Marines skirt away and hole up behind a large tower; Corporal Hicks, Bishop 341-BL, PFC Hudson, PFC Vasquez, Pvt. Drake and Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley survive.
Hudson: That's it man, game over man, game over! What the f&@k are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?
Ripley: Stow it Hudson, we need to think!
Before they can think, Pvt. Drake’s head explodes as a precisely aimed bullet by Agent X hits him. Bishop 341-BL is grabbed by Lobo, The Maxx and Lobo the Duck, who rip him apart.
Hudson: Oh dear Lord Jesus, this ain't happening, man... This can't be happening, man! This isn't happening!
The remaining marines focus on the remaining Murderflies. At the end of the melee, all of the Marines, being Corporal Hicks, PFC Hudson, PFC Vasquez and Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley are killed. For the Murderflies, Lobo the Duck and Agent X are killed.
Across the flotilla, Captain Caveman flies at the Zombie Cloverfield Monster.
Captain Caveman: Captain Caaaaaavvveeeemaaaaan!!!!
Zombie Cloverfield Monster crushes Captain Caveman in its maw and bats the caveman’s body across the sky.
One can hear Harwell across the way: That one is looonnnggg gone!
Zombie Cloverfield Monster is then met by Mecha Godzilla. The two behemoths battle one another. Mecha Godzilla rips Cloverfield Monster’s arms off and crushes its skull. Zombie Cloverfield Monster’s body drifts away. Red Dragons #1-6 with Black Dragon #15 fly to Mecha Godzilla. Mecha Godzilla is damaged by the Black Dragon’s acid breath, but still manages to kill Red Dragons #2, 4-6. Black Dragon #15 and Red Dragons #1 and 3 re-group and come at Mecha Godzilla again. Before they reach Mecha Godzilla, Computron comes over and destroys the remaining Dragons- Black #15 and Red #1 and 3.
Buffy, Angel, Willow and Dumbledore in a Swift Boat crash into the flotilla and are met by Harry Potter. Angel pushes Buffy away as an arrow strikes through his heart. The arrow was shot by ace-archer Ted Nugent. Angel saves his true love, but he has paid the ultimate price. Willow places a holding spell on Nugent so that the Motor City Madman cannot move. Buffy walks up to him and shoves the same arrow through his eye; Ted Nugent dies. Ginny Weasely has run from the docked submarine to join Harry Potter, in his battle. The Blair Witch has moved to the fray. The combined skill of Willow, Dumbledore, Ginny Weasely and Harry Potter dispel the Blair Witch. As Ginny smiles at Harry, Dobby and Brak rush from behind crates that are stacked nearby. The duo reaches Ginny and snaps her neck. Harry Potter and Dumbledore respond by frying them where they stand.
Lyra and Pantalamon are flying above the waters in the Intention Craft. Its advanced weaponry focus on The Powerpuff Girls-Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup and Dynomutt the Dog Wonder, who has joined the super-powered five year olds. Although the Powerpuff Girls and Dynomutt were victorious in their battle with the MiGs, they are no so lucky against the Intention Craft. The craft destroys them and their charred bodies hit the water with loud splashes.
The teams from the Murderflies decide to come together. The Planeteers: Kwame, Wheeler, Linka, Gi, Ma-Ti and Suchi the monkey and Power Rangers: Jason, Zack, Billy, Trini and Kimberly face off against Zombie Darkseid, Black Adam and Dr. Fate. The battle is short lived as the Commandoes rip through the faux-powered heroes.
Seeing the carnage around them, the Wu-Tang Clan decides to rev up their team again with a song. Ernie Harwell, Ron Popeil and Dorf stand near the Clan and anticipate the song’s verses and the impact on their team.
Wu-Tang Killa Beez, we on a swarm!Wu-Tang Killa Beez, we on a swarm!Wu-Tang Killa Beez, we on a swarm!Wu-Tang Killa Beez, we on a swarm!
Harwell, Popeil and Dorf look at one another- somewhat disappointed at the verses so far. Before the Clan can commence with their next song, they see Dr. Doom approach.
Dr. Doom (in an uncharacteristic poetic-versed song):
Method Man, U-God and RZA,
Here comes Doom and it’s time to play;
GZA, Raekwon and Masta Killa,
Your bodies gonna be crisp and your guts are gonna spilla;
Ghostface Killah, ODB and Inspectah Deck
I’m gonna rip your heads right off your neck!
Dr. Doom smiles underneath his helmet and fries the rap group. Dorf, Popeil and Harwell close their eyes and anticipate their fate. The last thoughts of Dorf are of his winning putt on the 18th hole of the Masters. The last thoughts of Popeil are of his perfect rotisserie ham last Easter. The last thoughts of Harwell are of his winning call for the Detroit Tigers in the ’68 World Series. They are fried along with their rapping brethren.
Gungans #1-12 jump on the barge and are met by Moon Knight, Doc Brown, Greedo and the Great Lakes Avengers-Mr Immortal, Squirrel Girl, Big Bertha and Flatman. After the somewhat minor skirmish transpires, all Gungans #1-12 are dead, as are Doc Brown, Greedo, Squirrel Girl and Big Bertha.
In the air, the Lanterns of the Commandos- Dex-Starr, Karu-sil, Fatality and Taa come together. They face Guy Gardner and G’Nort, along with Kyle Rayner OL. The brilliance of projectiles and constructs creates a rainbow colored effect in the sky. Karu-Sil and Fatality manage to kill G’Nort. Kyle Rayner OL manages to kill Taa. Guy Gardner is pounced upon by Dex-Starr. The alien cat rips the Green Lantern’ face. As Gardner tries to clear the blood drifting into his eyes, he is killed by Karu-Sil and Fatality. In response, Kyle Rayner OL destroys Dex-Starr. Karu-sil and Fatality are joined by Black Adam, Parallax and Mary Marvel. Booster Gold, Shazam, Hawkman and Hawkgirl join Kyle Rayner OL. After a pitched battle, Karu-sil, Booster Gold, Hawkgirl and Fatality are dead. The remaining participants fly off to re-group.
Caramon and Rastlin Majere meet Seraffina Pekkala and her Daemon. The snow goose daemon rushes at Caramon Majere. The Dragonlance warrior slices the goose in half. The Witch Queen Pekkala lashes out in vengeance and kills Caramon. Raistlin, in response to his brother’s death, uses his wizard powers to strike at Pekkala. Although Pekkala and Majere are somewhat evenly matched, Pekkala does not notice Speedy Gonzalez standing behind her. Pekkala trips over the mouse. Raistlin uses this to his advantage and casts a spell that freezes Pekkala. Speedy runs around and on top of the frozen combatant at such speed that she begins to vibrate with such intensity that she shatters apart. Speedy rushes off again, having caused the destruction of yet another Commando. The remaining magic users of the Commandos- Willow, Dumbledore and Potter arrive at the scene. They destroy Raistlin Majere, but at the price of Willow’s life.
Lyra and Pantalamon in the Intention Craft focus on Computron. The Craft’s weapons rip apart Computron’s components. In the Technobots’ destruction, only Scattershot, and Strafe remain; Lightspeed, Nosecone and Afterburner are destroyed. The space craft modes of the Transformers attack the Intention Craft. The combined firepower of the Transformers actually damage the ship. The ship has to land on the platform. As they are about to lift off again, they are met by Grimlock, Mecha-Godzilla and Brain-Damaged Beowulf. The Intention Craft destroys Brain-Damaged Beowulf, but is set upon by the mechanical dinosaur-like duo of Grimlock and Mecha-Godzilla. The Intention Craft is ripped apart by the robots. Lyra and Pantalamon escape, but are then jumped by King Leonidas and Dark Claw. Lyra and Pantalamon are killed.
King Leonidas is attacked by Buffy. The Greek King succumbs to the vampire slayer as she uses a metal rod to jam through his torso. Buffy then focuses on Batgirl (babs). The girl-fight is spectacular as the spray of water lashes against their costume and shirt. From the display, it is a bit cold outside for the women. Buffy eventually gains the upper hand over Batgirl and kills her. She is tired, but looking for another fight. She faces Etrigan the Demon, Lobo and Dark Claw. She is brutally killed, unable to inflict any harm upon her foes due to their regenerative, healing-factors.
Although it knows that the act it commits will ultimately be its downfall, the alien knows that it is worth it. Starro flies at an incredible speed and actually attaches itself to Dave Bowman- the Starchild. Starro uses its mind control ability to take control of Bowman and destroy Yurich Byrninson; Byrninson is engulfed in flames and explodes. Bowman begins to fight the mind control of Starro. Bowman is able to briefly escape Starro’s effects and uses his powers to destroy two of his real team’s more formidable opponents- Mecha Godzilla and Grimlock. Before Bowman can do further damage to Starro’s team, a last ditch effort proves fruitful as Bowman destroys himself, along with Starro, at Starro’s direction.
Strafe and Scattershot focus on the flying Commandos- Mary Marvel, Black Adam, Parallax, and Dr. Fate. At the end of the fight, both Transformer space ships are destroyed, as is Dr. Fate and Mary Marvel. Black Adam and Parallax fly from the melee and are met by Shazam. Black Adam and Shazam face one another and good reigns over evil as Shazam kills Black Adam. Shazam’s victory is short lived as Parallax rips through Shazam and destroys him.
Rodimus Prime, in robot mode, focuses on his enemy. He fires his weapons and kills both Moon Knight and Flatman. Forge uses his mutant ability to create a weapon of the debris lying around on the flotilla. He uses this against Prime and manages to cripple the Transformer. Kyle Rayner OL then flies upon the scene and with his lantern construct, destroys Prime.
Dumbledore and Harry Potter use their wizardry to take away the healing/immortality factors of Lobo, Darkclaw and Mr. Immortal. Dr. Doom and Zombie Darkseid use this to their advantage and rip them apart with their inherent weaponry. The four stand together against the remaining Murderflies, as Parallax flies above.
Parallax focuses on Rayner. Parallax takes over Rayner’s body and together, they become Kyle Rayner-Parallax. Rayner-Parallax destroys his teammates the Maxx and Forge. Etrigan the Demon uses his hellfire to engulf Rayner-Parallax. Parallax leaves Rayner, who has been killed by Etrigan’s fire. Zombie Darkseid and Dr. Doom take care of Hellboy and Etrigan. In a last ditch effort, Hawkman flies behind Potter and kills him wit his mace. In response, Dumbledore kills Hawkman.
Speedy is the lone Murderfly left; he faces incredible odds. He will not die without words to his enemies.
Speedy: Hola penes. Sé que estoy muerto, pero es un ramo de a$$holes. Viva la Murderflies!!!!
Speedy is incinerated by Zombie Darkseid.
Commandos: Parallax, Dr. Doom, Zombie Darkseid and Dumbledore survive.
Murderflies: All dead.
POP-SUPERSTAR HANNAH MONTANA & PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA'S "BEST OF BOTH WORLDS" TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOES IS VICTORIOUS!!!
-Steve Rhodes
I look at the teams to do battle in Waterworld during this Week 5 Match. They are as follows:
The Commandos: Dave Bowman- The Starchild, Numnius, Dex-Starr, Karu-sil, Fatality, Taa, Rodimus Prime, Mary Marvel, Black Adam, Parallax, Vorian Atreides in a MiG, Capt. Steven Hiller in a MiG, Lazarus Long in a MiG, Lyra and Pantalamon in the Intention Craft, Buffy, Angel, Willow and Dumbledore in a Swift Boat, Zombie Cloverfield Monster, Zombie Darkseid, Red Dragons #1-6, Black Dragon #15, Harry Potter, Yurich Byrninson, Dr. Fate, Seraffina Pekkala and her Daemon, Gungans #1-12, and in a Sub-marine is Dr. Doom, Ginny Weasely and The Colonial Marines: Sgt. Apone, Corporal Hicks, Lt. Gorman, Bishop 341-BL, Corporal Dietrich, PFC Hudson, PFC Spunkmeyer, PFC Vasquez, Pvt. Drake, Pvt. Frost, Pvt. Wierzbowski, Corporal Ferro and Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley.
The Murderflies are: The Maxx and Julie Winters, Doc Brown, Lorne Michaels, Speedy Gonzalez, Brak, Dobby, Brain Damaged Beowulf, Sarah Palin, Jay and Silent Bob with Suzanne, Forge, Bob-Agent of Hydra, Agent X, Hellboy, Etrigan the Demon, Lobo, Guy Gardner and G’Nort, Booster Gold, Kyle Rayner OL, Ted Nugent, Greedo, Dorf, Hawkman and Hawkgirl, Batgirl (babs), The Planeteers: Kwame, Wheeler, Linka, Gi, Ma-Ti, and Suchi the monkey; The Power Rangers: Jason, Zack, Billy, Trini and Kimberly, Mecha Godzilla, Caramon and Raistlin Majere, The Powerpuff Girls-Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup, The Technobots-Scattershot, Lightspeed, Strafe, Nosecone, Afterburner (Computron), Ron Popeil, Shazam, Starro, Grimlock, King Leonidas, Dark Claw, The Wu-Tang Clan, Lobo the Duck, Capt. Caveman, Moon Knight, Great Lakes Avengers-Mr Immortal, Squirrel Girl, Big Bertha, Flatman, Quick Draw McGraw, The Blair Witch, Squirrels #1-15, Dynomutt the Dog Wonder, Ernie Harwell, Denver the Last Dinosaur.
Let the Battle begin. . .
The Murderflies stand on the water city’s platform. To spurn their teammates on, the Wu-Tang Clan gives a “shout out” war cry:
The game of chess, is like a swordfight,You must think first, before you move;Toad style is immensely strong, and immune to nearly any weapon,When it's properly used, it's almost invincible!
The Murderflies are revved up at the Clan’s war cry and intensely await the Commandos.
As the Commandos prepare to commence their attack, before the match truly begins, Dave Bowman- The Starchild looks over at Numnius.
Bowman: I just don’t like the way you look today.
A bewildered Numnius cannot react in time. Bowman unleashes his full cosmic fury upon Numnius and, once again, destroys his own teammate. Bowman floats over the water and watches the match unfold. [Note to owner: If the Commandos are going to succeed in the playoffs this year, the ownership is going to have to settle the continuing differences between these two characters.]
The MiGs fly together as a squadron over the floating city. Vorian Atreides, Captain Steve Hiller, and Lazarus Long are at the controls of the jets. The three focus on the most heinous characters on the Murderflies team- Squirrels #1-15. The Squirrels sense their upcoming destruction and begin to scatter. They are not quick enough, as the MiGs unleash their air-to-surface missiles upon the bushy tailed rodents. Squirrels #1-15 are incinerated. Squirrel Girl is heard to let out an agonizing moan, sensing their deaths. In response to the Squirrels’ annihilation, the Murderflies attack the MiGs. Dynomutt the Dog Wonder becomes a robot projectile and crashes through the MiG flown by Atreides. The MiG and Vorian Atreides are blown to smithereens. The MiG flown by Steve Hiller is attacked by Hawkman and Hawkgirl. Hawkman uses his mace to crush the MiG’s canopy while Hawkgirl uses her spear to pin Steve Hiller to the seat. The MiG crashes in the waters below, with a dead Hiller impaled to his seat. Lazarus Long’s MiG is met by the Powerpuff Girls. Their combined powers force the MiG into the waters below and both it and its rider, Lazarus Long, explode on impact.
The submarine of the Commandos carries Dr. Doom, Ginny Weasely and The Colonial Marines: Sgt. Apone, Corporal Hicks, Lt. Gorman, Bishop 341-BL, Corporal Dietrich, PFC Hudson, PFC Spunkmeyer, PFC Vasquez, Pvt. Drake, Pvt. Frost, Pvt. Wierzbowski, Corporal Ferro and Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley. The submarine rises and docks at the floating city. Before the Colonial Marines storm the site, Sgt. Apone can be heard addressing his Marines.
Apone: All right, sweethearts, you're a team and there's nothin' to worry about. We come here, and we gonna conquer, and we gonna kick some, is that understood? That's what we gonna do, sweethearts, we are going to go and get some. All right, people, on the ready line!
The Marines erupt from the submarine. They are met by Quick Draw McGraw, Bob-Agent of Hydra, Denver the Last Dinosaur and Speedy Gonzalez. Although McGraw is a superior marksman, he is no match for the combined firepower of the Marines. McGraw goes down in a blaze of glory. Bob-Agent of Hydra accidentally loses control of his bladder. As he begins to run away, he trips over his urine soaked pants and is shot dead by PFC Vasquez and Pvt. Drake. Meanwhile, PFC Hudson and Pvt. Frost riddle Denver the Last Dinosaur’s body with hundreds of bullets. Speedy Gonzalez races away and the Marines follow him. As the Marines round the corner of the building which the mouse ran, they see Sarah Palin standing in front of Jay, Silent Bob, Suzanne and Lorne Michaels. Palin looks to her comrades.
Palin: Only dead fish go with the flow!!!
With her creative (and true-life) comment, Palin leads the charge of her teammates at the Marines. They are shredded by the Marines’ weapons. Sgt. Apone notices Speedy around another corner. The mouse smiles and rushes away. As the Marines turn the corner, they are met by Hellboy, Etrigan the Demon, Agent X, Julie Winter, the Maxx, Lobo and Lobo the Duck. Although Julie Winters is killed, an onslaught ensues as the Murderflies rip through Sgt. Apone, Lt. Gorman, Corporal Dietrich, PFC Spunkmeyer, Pvt. Frost, Pvt. Wierzbowski and Corporal Ferro. The remaining Marines skirt away and hole up behind a large tower; Corporal Hicks, Bishop 341-BL, PFC Hudson, PFC Vasquez, Pvt. Drake and Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley survive.
Hudson: That's it man, game over man, game over! What the f&@k are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?
Ripley: Stow it Hudson, we need to think!
Before they can think, Pvt. Drake’s head explodes as a precisely aimed bullet by Agent X hits him. Bishop 341-BL is grabbed by Lobo, The Maxx and Lobo the Duck, who rip him apart.
Hudson: Oh dear Lord Jesus, this ain't happening, man... This can't be happening, man! This isn't happening!
The remaining marines focus on the remaining Murderflies. At the end of the melee, all of the Marines, being Corporal Hicks, PFC Hudson, PFC Vasquez and Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley are killed. For the Murderflies, Lobo the Duck and Agent X are killed.
Across the flotilla, Captain Caveman flies at the Zombie Cloverfield Monster.
Captain Caveman: Captain Caaaaaavvveeeemaaaaan!!!!
Zombie Cloverfield Monster crushes Captain Caveman in its maw and bats the caveman’s body across the sky.
One can hear Harwell across the way: That one is looonnnggg gone!
Zombie Cloverfield Monster is then met by Mecha Godzilla. The two behemoths battle one another. Mecha Godzilla rips Cloverfield Monster’s arms off and crushes its skull. Zombie Cloverfield Monster’s body drifts away. Red Dragons #1-6 with Black Dragon #15 fly to Mecha Godzilla. Mecha Godzilla is damaged by the Black Dragon’s acid breath, but still manages to kill Red Dragons #2, 4-6. Black Dragon #15 and Red Dragons #1 and 3 re-group and come at Mecha Godzilla again. Before they reach Mecha Godzilla, Computron comes over and destroys the remaining Dragons- Black #15 and Red #1 and 3.
Buffy, Angel, Willow and Dumbledore in a Swift Boat crash into the flotilla and are met by Harry Potter. Angel pushes Buffy away as an arrow strikes through his heart. The arrow was shot by ace-archer Ted Nugent. Angel saves his true love, but he has paid the ultimate price. Willow places a holding spell on Nugent so that the Motor City Madman cannot move. Buffy walks up to him and shoves the same arrow through his eye; Ted Nugent dies. Ginny Weasely has run from the docked submarine to join Harry Potter, in his battle. The Blair Witch has moved to the fray. The combined skill of Willow, Dumbledore, Ginny Weasely and Harry Potter dispel the Blair Witch. As Ginny smiles at Harry, Dobby and Brak rush from behind crates that are stacked nearby. The duo reaches Ginny and snaps her neck. Harry Potter and Dumbledore respond by frying them where they stand.
Lyra and Pantalamon are flying above the waters in the Intention Craft. Its advanced weaponry focus on The Powerpuff Girls-Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup and Dynomutt the Dog Wonder, who has joined the super-powered five year olds. Although the Powerpuff Girls and Dynomutt were victorious in their battle with the MiGs, they are no so lucky against the Intention Craft. The craft destroys them and their charred bodies hit the water with loud splashes.
The teams from the Murderflies decide to come together. The Planeteers: Kwame, Wheeler, Linka, Gi, Ma-Ti and Suchi the monkey and Power Rangers: Jason, Zack, Billy, Trini and Kimberly face off against Zombie Darkseid, Black Adam and Dr. Fate. The battle is short lived as the Commandoes rip through the faux-powered heroes.
Seeing the carnage around them, the Wu-Tang Clan decides to rev up their team again with a song. Ernie Harwell, Ron Popeil and Dorf stand near the Clan and anticipate the song’s verses and the impact on their team.
Wu-Tang Killa Beez, we on a swarm!Wu-Tang Killa Beez, we on a swarm!Wu-Tang Killa Beez, we on a swarm!Wu-Tang Killa Beez, we on a swarm!
Harwell, Popeil and Dorf look at one another- somewhat disappointed at the verses so far. Before the Clan can commence with their next song, they see Dr. Doom approach.
Dr. Doom (in an uncharacteristic poetic-versed song):
Method Man, U-God and RZA,
Here comes Doom and it’s time to play;
GZA, Raekwon and Masta Killa,
Your bodies gonna be crisp and your guts are gonna spilla;
Ghostface Killah, ODB and Inspectah Deck
I’m gonna rip your heads right off your neck!
Dr. Doom smiles underneath his helmet and fries the rap group. Dorf, Popeil and Harwell close their eyes and anticipate their fate. The last thoughts of Dorf are of his winning putt on the 18th hole of the Masters. The last thoughts of Popeil are of his perfect rotisserie ham last Easter. The last thoughts of Harwell are of his winning call for the Detroit Tigers in the ’68 World Series. They are fried along with their rapping brethren.
Gungans #1-12 jump on the barge and are met by Moon Knight, Doc Brown, Greedo and the Great Lakes Avengers-Mr Immortal, Squirrel Girl, Big Bertha and Flatman. After the somewhat minor skirmish transpires, all Gungans #1-12 are dead, as are Doc Brown, Greedo, Squirrel Girl and Big Bertha.
In the air, the Lanterns of the Commandos- Dex-Starr, Karu-sil, Fatality and Taa come together. They face Guy Gardner and G’Nort, along with Kyle Rayner OL. The brilliance of projectiles and constructs creates a rainbow colored effect in the sky. Karu-Sil and Fatality manage to kill G’Nort. Kyle Rayner OL manages to kill Taa. Guy Gardner is pounced upon by Dex-Starr. The alien cat rips the Green Lantern’ face. As Gardner tries to clear the blood drifting into his eyes, he is killed by Karu-Sil and Fatality. In response, Kyle Rayner OL destroys Dex-Starr. Karu-sil and Fatality are joined by Black Adam, Parallax and Mary Marvel. Booster Gold, Shazam, Hawkman and Hawkgirl join Kyle Rayner OL. After a pitched battle, Karu-sil, Booster Gold, Hawkgirl and Fatality are dead. The remaining participants fly off to re-group.
Caramon and Rastlin Majere meet Seraffina Pekkala and her Daemon. The snow goose daemon rushes at Caramon Majere. The Dragonlance warrior slices the goose in half. The Witch Queen Pekkala lashes out in vengeance and kills Caramon. Raistlin, in response to his brother’s death, uses his wizard powers to strike at Pekkala. Although Pekkala and Majere are somewhat evenly matched, Pekkala does not notice Speedy Gonzalez standing behind her. Pekkala trips over the mouse. Raistlin uses this to his advantage and casts a spell that freezes Pekkala. Speedy runs around and on top of the frozen combatant at such speed that she begins to vibrate with such intensity that she shatters apart. Speedy rushes off again, having caused the destruction of yet another Commando. The remaining magic users of the Commandos- Willow, Dumbledore and Potter arrive at the scene. They destroy Raistlin Majere, but at the price of Willow’s life.
Lyra and Pantalamon in the Intention Craft focus on Computron. The Craft’s weapons rip apart Computron’s components. In the Technobots’ destruction, only Scattershot, and Strafe remain; Lightspeed, Nosecone and Afterburner are destroyed. The space craft modes of the Transformers attack the Intention Craft. The combined firepower of the Transformers actually damage the ship. The ship has to land on the platform. As they are about to lift off again, they are met by Grimlock, Mecha-Godzilla and Brain-Damaged Beowulf. The Intention Craft destroys Brain-Damaged Beowulf, but is set upon by the mechanical dinosaur-like duo of Grimlock and Mecha-Godzilla. The Intention Craft is ripped apart by the robots. Lyra and Pantalamon escape, but are then jumped by King Leonidas and Dark Claw. Lyra and Pantalamon are killed.
King Leonidas is attacked by Buffy. The Greek King succumbs to the vampire slayer as she uses a metal rod to jam through his torso. Buffy then focuses on Batgirl (babs). The girl-fight is spectacular as the spray of water lashes against their costume and shirt. From the display, it is a bit cold outside for the women. Buffy eventually gains the upper hand over Batgirl and kills her. She is tired, but looking for another fight. She faces Etrigan the Demon, Lobo and Dark Claw. She is brutally killed, unable to inflict any harm upon her foes due to their regenerative, healing-factors.
Although it knows that the act it commits will ultimately be its downfall, the alien knows that it is worth it. Starro flies at an incredible speed and actually attaches itself to Dave Bowman- the Starchild. Starro uses its mind control ability to take control of Bowman and destroy Yurich Byrninson; Byrninson is engulfed in flames and explodes. Bowman begins to fight the mind control of Starro. Bowman is able to briefly escape Starro’s effects and uses his powers to destroy two of his real team’s more formidable opponents- Mecha Godzilla and Grimlock. Before Bowman can do further damage to Starro’s team, a last ditch effort proves fruitful as Bowman destroys himself, along with Starro, at Starro’s direction.
Strafe and Scattershot focus on the flying Commandos- Mary Marvel, Black Adam, Parallax, and Dr. Fate. At the end of the fight, both Transformer space ships are destroyed, as is Dr. Fate and Mary Marvel. Black Adam and Parallax fly from the melee and are met by Shazam. Black Adam and Shazam face one another and good reigns over evil as Shazam kills Black Adam. Shazam’s victory is short lived as Parallax rips through Shazam and destroys him.
Rodimus Prime, in robot mode, focuses on his enemy. He fires his weapons and kills both Moon Knight and Flatman. Forge uses his mutant ability to create a weapon of the debris lying around on the flotilla. He uses this against Prime and manages to cripple the Transformer. Kyle Rayner OL then flies upon the scene and with his lantern construct, destroys Prime.
Dumbledore and Harry Potter use their wizardry to take away the healing/immortality factors of Lobo, Darkclaw and Mr. Immortal. Dr. Doom and Zombie Darkseid use this to their advantage and rip them apart with their inherent weaponry. The four stand together against the remaining Murderflies, as Parallax flies above.
Parallax focuses on Rayner. Parallax takes over Rayner’s body and together, they become Kyle Rayner-Parallax. Rayner-Parallax destroys his teammates the Maxx and Forge. Etrigan the Demon uses his hellfire to engulf Rayner-Parallax. Parallax leaves Rayner, who has been killed by Etrigan’s fire. Zombie Darkseid and Dr. Doom take care of Hellboy and Etrigan. In a last ditch effort, Hawkman flies behind Potter and kills him wit his mace. In response, Dumbledore kills Hawkman.
Speedy is the lone Murderfly left; he faces incredible odds. He will not die without words to his enemies.
Speedy: Hola penes. Sé que estoy muerto, pero es un ramo de a$$holes. Viva la Murderflies!!!!
Speedy is incinerated by Zombie Darkseid.
Commandos: Parallax, Dr. Doom, Zombie Darkseid and Dumbledore survive.
Murderflies: All dead.
POP-SUPERSTAR HANNAH MONTANA & PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA'S "BEST OF BOTH WORLDS" TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOES IS VICTORIOUS!!!
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