Saturday, January 23, 2010

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs. Reign Supremacy

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets are Robert Muldoon, Nightsister Sith Witch #2, Dark Side Adept #1, Super Battle Droid #1 & 2, Hammer Brothers #13 & 14 & Gobo.

Reign Supremacy is Thaddeus, Starship Trooper #30 & 31, Zombie #3 & 4, Orc #66, Stormtrooper #29 and Lil’ Scrimmell.


Thaddeus was starving. He was very hungry, as he had not eaten in days. In fact the entire Reign Supremacy team was malnourished. Luckily for them though, they arrived at that hall around dinnertime. The Brotherhood knew this and let the former team eat as much food as they wanted, to which they all did. There was everything you could possibly imagine from Chicken and meatballs to Lasagna and Taco Salad. The feast lasted a little over an hour and let me tell you, feast is exactly what they did.

Thaddeus ate two full plates of food, plus a large salad. Both Starship Trooper’s ate a decent amount as well, but the Stormtrooper was just ridiculous. He started off with three pieces of chicken, twelve meatballs and one and a half pieces of lasagna. For his second plate, he got two more pieces of chicken and literally half of the entire pan of broccoli casserole. He then ate the entire vegetable spread and four pieces of chocolate cake. It was pretty awesome to watch. Especially since I didn’t want to watch the Zombie’s, who were really just trying to eat the cooks in the kitchen. Orc #66 ate some food as well, but watching him eat was so disgusting that I just couldn’t stomach the sight. Lil’ Scrimmell ate as well, but after one piece of chicken and a cookie, he claimed he was full.

On the other side, the Midgets were just waiting. They knew if they could get their opponents to eat them selves sick, this match would be a cake walk (Ha Ha, that’s so hilarious right). Despite the simplicity of this plan by Robert Muldoon, it was basically full proof. As Reign Supremacy laid back in their gluttonous haze, the Midgets began to reign an ungodly hell upon them.

The first wave saw both Super Battle Droids come in the side door near the kid’s stairway and the back door saw both Hammer Brothers marching down towards them. As Reign Supremacy felt their world closing in very quickly, they began to hear a horrible noise coming from above. At first they thought there might have just been another party going on upstairs, but as soon as they saw the ceiling begin to crack, they knew it was something else.

Thaddeus, Lil’ Scrimmell and the Troopers were all underneath their table at this point, as they were getting blasted from both sides now. The Troopers knew they could take out the Battle Droids, so they decided to head towards the other way. Stormtrooper #29 stayed with Thad and Scrimmell, but was so full that he was having trouble moving in his suit. He did manage to get a few shots off, but they did not hit anything. Thad figured this match was going to be over quick now, but he had no idea what he was about to get into.

The crack in the ceiling was now opening and it carried a firestorm of death with it. Once the ceiling completely collapsed, the rest of the Midgets team jumped down into the fight. Thad looked up at what had caused the gaping whole in the ceiling; what he saw was his death looking him straight in the eyes. Before anyone could do anything about it, the Sith Witch had torn Thaddeus’s throat out, Swayze style. The Stormtrooper at this point did manage to hit and injure Hammer Brother #13, but in turn lost his life to the Dark Side adept, who had knocked him to the ground and crushed his skull.

The Starship Troopers, who had finally killed the Super Battle Droid’s, knew this match was going to be impossible to win. In knowing this, they decided to go out in a blaze of glory, opening fire on the entire Midgets squad. The rain of bullets killed both Hammer Brothers, but it wasn’t long before the Sith Witch hit both troopers with a sick amount of Sith Lightening. Both Troopers dropped their weapons and despite the amazing abilities of their suits, the Sith lightening had shorted out anything electrical that they were planning on doing.

As they lied there on the ground in pain, they were trying to think of something to do. Trooper #30 looked at his teammate and quickly started to tell him his plan.
“What we need to do is figure out a way to get our suit’s back online. When we do that, I can reverse the polarity of the suits electrical current and make it so the next time we get hit, it gives us even more power.”

Trooper #31: Do you think this can work?

Trooper #32: Yeah, I know it will. In fact, I might even be able to make it so the next time she hits us, it will backfire on her completely. Turning our suits into our very own controllable Sith Lord.

Trooper #31: Great, what do we need to do to get this thing working again?

Trooper #32: That’s the tricky part. We are going to have to find the main power grid in the area and hook our suits up to it. From there, I can rewire the original mainframe of our suits and get them powered back up again.

Nightsister Sith Witch #2: Are you girls done talking yet?

She then sent enough Sith Lightening towards the Troopers to kill twelve Jedi Masters. With them out of the way, the Zombie’s and Orc#66 were basically done for. Robert Muldoon took care of the Zombie’s using a 30/30 he had with him. Gobo the Fraggle had been keeping a close eye on Lil’ Scrimmell, which is why he was now following him outside. Orc #66 tried to take on the Dark Side adept, but the fight didn’t last very long. Though it probably could of taken a little less time if the Dark Side adept would have just killed him normally, instead of seeing how many times he could kick the Orc before he died. It was forty-seven kicks if you were wondering.

That only left Lil’ Scrimmell, who was now wandering outside of the hall. He thought he was alone, as Gobo was very small and hard to see. Muldoon, who at this point has become great friends with the Fraggle, was hiding up on the roof. He was hoping to get a clear shot at the small clone, a shot that would give his team another victory. He waited for a while until the time was right, until Scrimmell’s death was a done deal. It only took about ten minutes for Scrimmell to walk into the perfect spot, but once he did he was all done. Muldoon had his gun ready, but before he could get off a shot he noticed the Sith Witch running as quickly as possible towards the clone with light saber in tow. Before Muldoon could even say “Clever girl”, the Sith witch had cut Scrimmell’s small body in two. Though Muldoon was bummed he could not solidify the victory for his team, he knew that in the long run, it mattered very little. A victory is a victory, regardless of how you get it.

Reign Supremacy: All Dead

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets: Super Battle Droid’s #1 & 2 and Hammer Brothers #13 & 14 are dead.

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets are victorious!

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs. TEAM

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets are Nightwing, Jedi Master #33A & 34A, Fremen #52 & 53, Hammer Bros. #11 & 12 and Paploo.

TEAM is Gen. Maximus, Futar #1 & 2, Valkyre #6 & 7, Tleilaxlu Master #1 & 2 and Bill the Pony.


Both teams have captain’s that are well versed with the Dearborn establishment. In fact, I can picture it now. I can only imagine both of them setting up there headquarters like the Rebels did on Yavin IV, talking to their troops like they were getting ready to attack the Death Star. I don’t actually know if that is what happened, but thinking this thought brings warm feelings to my heart.

Gen. Maximus enters the hall and thinks to himself that this place is really out of date. His entire team, who are surprised to see their opponents already waiting for them inside, follows him.

Nightwing: I think you boys showed up to the wrong party.

Fremen: Yes, you should not of come here. For it will be your final resting place.

Paploo: Ugie goo ga.

General Maximus looks at Nightwing and says, “That would be fine with me, but not before a little of your blood has been spilled first.” Just then, Bill the Pony comes charging in with Futar #1 on his back, trampling Paploo to death. Jedi Master #33A then takes out his light saber and dismembers the Futar and Bill the Pony.

Jedi Master #33A: I’ve never had Pony before; I’ll have to give it to the old Polish lady in the kitchen. I bet she can cook something up for us.

But before he can have his meal he is bum rushed by Tleilaxlu Masters #1 & 2. The fight is a fierce one, but with the help of Jedi Master #34A and the Hammer Brothers, the Tleilaxlu Masters are no match. During the initial rush of the Jedi Master, General Maximus had sent the rest of his team to take care of Fremen #52 and 53. He fully expected Nightwing to join him at the bar for a drink, for one last drink is all he expected out of this battle.

Nightwing: Do you expect me to sit down with my enemy and enjoy a drink with him?

General Maximus: I don’t expect anything of you, but yes, a final drink before battle would be nice.

Nightwing’s inner struggle with this seemingly ridiculous invitation took a while to for him to handle, but eventually he gave in and ordered a Miller Light. Since he was not a huge fan of the beer, he took small sips and pondered to himself in what way he was going to take down the General.

Elsewhere in the hall, Futar #2 did manage to jump on Hammer Brother #12 and kill him, but that was the only positive that came of the fight for TEAM. The Jedi Masters made quick work of both Valkyries and Hammer Brother #11 bludgeoned Futar #2 to death. The rest of the Midgets knew that this match was over with, but they also knew that Nightwing wanted to fight Maximus on his own. They each took a seat and sat there, waiting for the battle to begin. Well, everyone but Jedi Master #33A, he went into the kitchen to see how the Pony was coming.

Nightwing: Well, looks like my drink is gone. Do you want to begin this fight gladiator?

General Maximus: Why are you in such a hurry, I thought you would want to cherish your last moments down here.

With that, Nightwing jumped out of his chair and instantly kicked Maximus out of his. This was pretty impressive, especially since Maximus is not exactly the smallest guy in the world. Maximus took this act as the beginning of the end for him, as he no longer feared his own death. Maximus pulled out his sword and began to charge at the costumed vigilante. Nightwing easily dodged his first swipe and jumped on top of the bar to get out of the way. Maximus was impressed with his agility, but was unconcerned with his opponent’s abilities. He already knew that he could not win this battle. Despite this fact though, he was still going to try to win this fight.

Jedi Master #34A: Man that smells good, I wonder how much longer until it’s done.

Fremen #53: Should we go help him out, that Maximus dude looks kind of awesome?

Fremen #52: No, we were told this was going to be a one on one fight. We shall stay back.

Jedi Master #33A: Dinner is served boys, though I can’t find a good knife in here so good luck cutting this thing up.

While the rest of the midgets got their grub on, Nightwing and Maximus were beating the hell out of each other. The speed that Nightwing brought to the match was just as lethal as the strength Maximus possessed. With the two combatants trading blows back and forth, Nightwing knew that he could not win the match this way. He had to get Maximus’s sword away from him, then he would have the upper hand. So instead of continuing the fight as it was, he ran towards the end of the hall and waited for Maximus to follow him.

Maximus thought his running away was a cowardly act, so he ran towards the crime fighter with his sword leading the charge. Right before Maximus arrived to meet him though, Nightwing jumped onto the table next to him and knocked the sword out of the gladiator’s hand. Nightwing then flipped over him, took out a knife he stole from the kitchen and stuck it into the back of Maximus. Maximus knew he was done for and fell to the ground on top of his sword. Nightwing generally felt bad about this, as he knew stabbing him in the back was the dishonorable thing to do. In hindsight, Nightwing should have probably just walked away, but being the man that he is, he wanted to look Maximus in the face as he died.

Nightwing then walked over to Maximus and rolled his body over so he could see his face. The next thing happened in an instant and before he knew it, he was down on the ground next to the gladiator. As soon as Nightwing rolled Maximus’s body over, the former general lunged his sword directly in the stomach of costumed hero. The sword cut right threw Nightwings stomach and pierced his spinal cord in back. Both men lied there on the ground, just waiting for death to take them away. As this happened though, Jedi Master #33A dropped his food and ran over to finish this off once and for all.

Maximus: I promised you blood Dick, now please rest in peace.

Jedi Master #33A: What the hell, you guys, he’s dead.

Maximus: Yes he is, but not before taking me with him.

Jedi Master #33A: Screw that Max, your still here you hairy SOB. Time for you to go dome less.

Fremen #52: Please, just let the man die in peace. It was a fair fight in which both men lost.

Jedi Master #34A: Yeah, he’ll be dead in minute anyway. Just let him go.

Jedi Master #33A: Well I could do that, or I could do this.

As Jedi Master #33A said “this”, he let Maximus go “dome less” as he so eloquently stated before. Maximus’s body was now lying next to his head, while the remainder of the Midgets team stared at a massive pool of blood that had Nightwing’s lifeless body in it as it’s centerpiece.

TEAM: All Dead

The Brotherhood of Evil Midget’s: Jedi Master’s #33A & 34A, Fremen #52 & 53 and Hammer Brother #11 all survived.

The Brotherhood of Evil Midget’s are victorious.

Friday, January 22, 2010

The Syracuse Valley (Team 2) vs The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets (Team 1)

The Syracuse Valley is Guille, Xenomorph Alien #93 & 94, Giant Hammer Bros. #3, Navy Sailor #60, Boomerang Bros. #1, Fire Bros. #3, & Little Goomba #5.

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is G.W. Bridge, Dark Jedi Master #12 & 13, Ginaz Swordmaster #11, Ancient Ginaz Swordmaster #1, Hammer Bros. #15 & 16, & Peppermint Patti.

The Syracuse Valley begins in the lower level, where Guile starts arranging his troops. He realizes that half of his team could be easily taken out by a pudgy italian plumber and plans accordingly. Ginaz Swordmaster #11 and Ancient Ginaz Swordmaster #1 run into main room followed by the hammer bros, Peppermint Patti and G.W. Bridge. They see Goomba #5 waddling around on floor aimlessly. As the Ginaz Swordmasters are about to cut through the little goomba, Xenomorph Alien #93 jumps from the ceiling and rips both of them apart. G.W. tells his troops to hold as he looks up and sees the other Xenomorph on the ceiling. As Xenomorph #93 is about to continue attacking, two light sabers poke through the ceiling impaling Xenomorph #94, killing it and causing it to fall and stun the other Xenomorph. Guile then orders all of his team to attack and they emerge from their hiding spots. Boomerang Bro. #1 and Giant Hammer Bro. #3 jump out from the kitchen and begin mindlessly jumping and throwing boomerangs and hammers, which doesn't really accomplish much. G.W. tries to attack the stunned Xenomorph but is intercepted by Guile, and they begin whaling on each other. Peppermint Patti tries to jump on Little Goomba #5 but misses. Fire Bro. #3 then shoots a fireball at Peppermint Patti who isn't smart enough to move out of the way. Navy Sailor #60 runs up to Hammer Bro. #16 and pummells him to death. Just as he is about to attack Hammer Bro. #15, both he and the Hammer Bro. are ignited by Fire Bro. #3's barrage of fireballs. The two Dark Jedi masters cut through the ceiling with their light sabers and as they jump to the lower level they slice through Xenomorph #93. Unfortunately for Dark Jedi Master #13, he landed in the path of Boomerang Bro. #1's boomerang and gets knocked in the back of the head with a boomerang. This distracts him just long enough for Fire Bro. #3 to get in a lucky shot and kill him. Dark Jedi Master #12, angry that such crappy characters managed to kill one of his own, redirects fireballs headed his way into Boomerang Bro. #1 and Giant Hammer Bro #3, then stomps on Little Goomba #5 before running up to Fire Bro. #3 and decapitating him. After exchanging many punches, Guile takes the advantage and begins choking G.W., but then feels himself choking. He lets go of G.W. and feels burning in his adomen. He falls to the ground as a light saber is pulled out of him.
THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL MIDGETS IS VICTORIOUS!