Thursday, November 8, 2012

Co-Commissioner Final Press Conference

My Fellow Fantasy Fantasy Leaguers, I am here to discuss the recent events that have transpired over the last month or so. As you all know Bryan Beckerman has not only left his post as commissioner of the league but has retired his entire team as well. This news was met with much sadness, as we have become quite close over the years as leaders in this league.

As all of you know this year has been a busy one for not only for the Commandos as we finally closed in on our first championship season but for Michelle and my family. With the results and a final concession from Mr. Romney, I was once again re-elected as the President of the United States down on my home planet of Earth. This is not only a great honor for myself but a very important duty that I have not and will not ever take lightly. Which naturally brings me to my point here tonight with everyone of you, my fellow Fantasy Fantasy brothers and sisters.

With the parting of Mr. Beckerman, he left the commissioner duties to Mr. Geney and myself. Let me tell you that though this was a surprise, it was also an honor. The duties of the Commissioner are not to be taken lightly, a job that I fear I will not be able to fulfill with all the attention to detail that it entails. Which is why as of today I am stepping down as Co-Commissioner of this league, leaving the heavy-handed task to Mr. Geney. What he decides to do with it I am unsure, but I promise you this league will survive.

That is not all though. Like I mentioned earlier, this was a very busy year for myself and the Commandos and though I have never been so proud of a group of people in all of of my life, I will also be stepping down as Head Coach and Team leader of The Commando's. As of now, my second in command Miley Cyrus will become interim head coach, immediately following this press conference. I am under the impression that a new name will be assigned to the Commandos, one that will be released on a later date.

Though these decisions have not been easy to arrive at, they are in fact the necessary choices that had to be made. I will treasure my time in this league with nothing but the fondest of memories and I will never forget how wonderful it felt the day we finally brought home the championship to the National League. After five hard fought years, it was the sweetest feeling in the world.

With that I leave everyone here with these thoughts. Don't ever let anyone in this world tell you how to live your life. Stick with what you believe in and if you love something don't ever stop fighting for it. Despite great obstacles and pressures from the outside, you can achieve greatness if you fight for it. Ownership is not something to ever be taken lately so take ownership in what you believe in. Don't ever quit and never stop fighting.

Good night for the final time and god bless everyone.

Sincerely,

President Barack Obama