“Me like the fries to eat.”
-Fry Guy #1
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 10 Match located on the Moon. They are as follows:
Horsemen of Apokolips: Phoenix-Jean Grey, Hal Jordan Parallax (w/ 2 green lantern rings, a red lantern ring and Sinestro's yellow lantern ring) and Fry Guy #1.
The Untouchables: Franklin Richards, Black Lantern Invisible Woman, Black Lantern Human Torch, Zombie Thing and Warblade.
Let the battle begin. . .
Zombie Thing shambles across the moon’s surface. He looks in the sky to see a very large yellow scissors approach. Zombie Thing has a “what-the-heck” expression on his deadened mug. Hal Jordan Parallax manipulates his ring to close his tool of undead death. Zombie Thing’s head is cut off and his body falls.
Warblade (in pressurized moon garb) uses his fingers to form into organic steel and slices Fry Guy #1’s left leg off. Fry Guy #1 hops across the moon with his right leg, using the lack of gravity as an asset. Warblade is faster though and he slices Fry Guy #1’s right leg off. A de-legged Fry Guy #1 mumbles something to Warblade. Warblade shrugs and rips the pom pon body apart.
Warblade: Always liked Burger King better. . .
Black Lantern Invisible Woman and Black Lantern Human Torch battle Hal Jordan Parallax. The combined emotional projections of Hal Jordan Parallax utilizing his innate Parallax powers and the multi-colored bling barrage the Black Lanterns. Although the BL’s manage to dislodge one green lantern ring from HJP’s finger, both BLs eventually succumb to HJP’s superior force.
After disposing of the BLs, Franklin Richards (in moon garb) meets HJP. Richards uses his psionic abilities to rip off the other green lantern ring and red lantern ring. While focused on HJP, Phoenix comes from behind Richards and uses the Phoenix Force to destroy the young “FF” member.
Warblade screams a battle cry and floats toward the remaining Horsemen. Warblade is decimated by the combined powers of Phoenix and HJP.
Horsemen of Apokolips: Phoenix and Hal Jordan Parallax survive.
The Untouchables: All dead.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
[As a footnote: I would like to state for the record that the Untouchables should have won this match since the wife always “wins” in a battle of the spouses. It was only after extensive research that I learned of Ryan’s testes being held in Amy’s purse and that Ryan is the actual “wife” of the relationship. . . welcome to the club].
Thursday, May 12, 2011
George Washington's Slaves vs. The Transfoamers
“RUSTY!!!”
-Cosmo Kramer
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 10 Match located on the Moon. They are as follows:
George Washington’s Slaves: Starship Troopers #1-4, Cosmo Kramer, Gonzo and Kamilla.
The Transfoamers: Iceman and Slider in a Y-Wing, Starscream’s Ghost, Darth Rage and Auric Goldfinger.
Let the battle begin. . .
Due to a professional courtesy espoused upon the combatants by this Watcher, a space station has been placed upon the moon for the combatants. Inside, Gonzo is seen tied to a table, bound by his arms and legs. Gonzo looks up at Auric Goldfinger.
Auric Goldfinger: Tell me where the others are. I know they are here.
Gonzo: Do you expect me to talk?
Goldfinger: No, Mr. Gonzo. I expect you to die.
Goldfinger activates a laser that is about to cut Gonzo in half when he is ambushed by Kamilla. Chicken feathers fly everywhere and Goldfinger falls to the floor. The Bond villain rises and pulls out a gun. As he is about to shoot Kamilla, his body is riddled by bullets. Goldfinger falls; dead. Cosmo Kramer steps from the shadows, a gun in his hand.
Kramer: Giddyup!
Kramer is joined by Starship Troopers #1-4. The Slaves walk through the station, anxiously looking for their enemy. They come upon Darth Rage. Rage ignites his lightsaber. As the Sith is about to face the entire Slaves’ team, the station is barraged by the proton torpedoes of Iceman and Slider in a Y-Wing. Starscream’s Ghost joins the fray and blasts the station. The structure begins to crumble and with it, Kamilla is crushed.
Gonzo: You will be avenged my love!
Gonzo joins Kramer and the Troopers as they all put on space suits and fly out of the station’s portal. Darth Rage locates the final pressurized suit and flies out of the station following the Slaves. Just as he is about to reach Kramer, he is accidentally shredded by the Y-Wing’s laser fire. The blast throws Kramer toward the Y-Wing and his body is sucked into the right fuselage. The Y-Wing erupts in fire, but Iceman manages to steady the starship and blasts Starship Troopers #3 and 4 in the process. Starscream’s Ghost focuses on Gonzo and Starship Troopers #1 and 2. The Transformer destroys the troopers and Gonzo’s body, like Kramer before, is thrown into the Y-Wing’s other fuselage. The intensity of the damage suffered by the Y-Wing due to Kramer and Gonzo is too much. The vehicle, as well as its fliers, Iceman and Slider, are destroyed.
George Washington’s Slaves: All dead.
The Transfoamers: Starscream’s Ghost survives.
THE TRANSFOAMERS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
-Cosmo Kramer
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 10 Match located on the Moon. They are as follows:
George Washington’s Slaves: Starship Troopers #1-4, Cosmo Kramer, Gonzo and Kamilla.
The Transfoamers: Iceman and Slider in a Y-Wing, Starscream’s Ghost, Darth Rage and Auric Goldfinger.
Let the battle begin. . .
Due to a professional courtesy espoused upon the combatants by this Watcher, a space station has been placed upon the moon for the combatants. Inside, Gonzo is seen tied to a table, bound by his arms and legs. Gonzo looks up at Auric Goldfinger.
Auric Goldfinger: Tell me where the others are. I know they are here.
Gonzo: Do you expect me to talk?
Goldfinger: No, Mr. Gonzo. I expect you to die.
Goldfinger activates a laser that is about to cut Gonzo in half when he is ambushed by Kamilla. Chicken feathers fly everywhere and Goldfinger falls to the floor. The Bond villain rises and pulls out a gun. As he is about to shoot Kamilla, his body is riddled by bullets. Goldfinger falls; dead. Cosmo Kramer steps from the shadows, a gun in his hand.
Kramer: Giddyup!
Kramer is joined by Starship Troopers #1-4. The Slaves walk through the station, anxiously looking for their enemy. They come upon Darth Rage. Rage ignites his lightsaber. As the Sith is about to face the entire Slaves’ team, the station is barraged by the proton torpedoes of Iceman and Slider in a Y-Wing. Starscream’s Ghost joins the fray and blasts the station. The structure begins to crumble and with it, Kamilla is crushed.
Gonzo: You will be avenged my love!
Gonzo joins Kramer and the Troopers as they all put on space suits and fly out of the station’s portal. Darth Rage locates the final pressurized suit and flies out of the station following the Slaves. Just as he is about to reach Kramer, he is accidentally shredded by the Y-Wing’s laser fire. The blast throws Kramer toward the Y-Wing and his body is sucked into the right fuselage. The Y-Wing erupts in fire, but Iceman manages to steady the starship and blasts Starship Troopers #3 and 4 in the process. Starscream’s Ghost focuses on Gonzo and Starship Troopers #1 and 2. The Transformer destroys the troopers and Gonzo’s body, like Kramer before, is thrown into the Y-Wing’s other fuselage. The intensity of the damage suffered by the Y-Wing due to Kramer and Gonzo is too much. The vehicle, as well as its fliers, Iceman and Slider, are destroyed.
George Washington’s Slaves: All dead.
The Transfoamers: Starscream’s Ghost survives.
THE TRANSFOAMERS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
TEAM vs The Untouchables
TEAM is: Max, Gort, Tao, Anri, Diane, Torre, & Khris from the Shining Force, Luke Skywalker, R2D2, C3P0, Amy Poteracki, The Beyonder, and Krang.
The Untouchables are: Green Arrow, Black Canary, Pyro, Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl, Bouncing Boy, Triplicate Girl, Timberwolf, Chameleon Boy, and Karate Kid.
(This battle was watched by Watcher Mikatu.)
The Swamps of Dagobah are silent except for the chirping of some unknown space bug.
Max, Gort, Tao, Anri, Diane, Torre, and Khris are all trudging through the swamps in search of their opponents.
Max: “I was told this fight was in the Dagobah SYSTEM; not on dagobah proper, If I had known we would be dragging our boots through this muck I would have brought a change of clothes.”
Gort: “Ach, Aye, this sludge is worse than Diane’s combat skills.”
Max: “Oh shut up, just because she’s…. ok yeah she sucks, you’re right.”
The Beyonder: “SILENCE! We do not have time for your inane prattle, the battle is nearly upon us!”
Unfortunately for the Beyonder, heavy hitters tend to get ganged up on around here, the combined forces of the Legion of Superheroes have set up position and all unload on him at once. Bouncing Boy is slammed into the ground at his feet and bounces up, striking the Beyonder in the chin, dazing him. While the Beyonder reels from the impact Lightning Lad pours 1.21 gigawats of pure energy into the semi-omnipotent creature.
The Beyonder tries to cling to the nearest insulator to let the electricity flow through him but the damp air and even more damp ground of Dagobah keeps the electricity flowing through him until his eyes boil in his skull and run down his cheeks like two over easy eggs.
R2D2: “Bweep boop boop dweet” (Translation: That was messed up!)
C3P0: “Oh my yes, he didn’t stand a chance, you should really get us out of here R2.”
R2D2: “Eng-eng beep boodoo boop badeep boop boop.” (Translation: there’s no way I can get us out of here…)
C3P0: “What do you mean you can’t get us out of here? Remember when you used to fly and set things on fire? Oh nevermind, you overweight rustbucket. We can walk.”
R2D2: “Bwoooooop-woop-woop!” (Translation: oh that’s IT!...)
And with this R2 Spews muddy waste oil all over C3P0 and uses the last bit of juice in his thrusters to set the annoying gold robot on fire.
R2D2: “Beep beep beep boop” (Translation: I’ve been waiting to do that since 2 ABY)
The Screaming and flaming (in more ways than one…) Robot draws the attention of Green Arrow and Black Canary.
They’re investigating the pile of melting scrap when Amy Poteracki springs out of the mud like Arnold in Predator. She drags black canary down by her fishnets and forces her face into the swamp.
Amy: “Try screaming under water you bimbo! And what is with that outfit? I mean a Leather Onesie with fishnets? Really?” Black Canary Stops twitching just before Green Arrow puts a punching bag arrow into the back of Amy’s head, sending her unconscious into the same watery grave his wife is now resting partially in.
Luke: “Aw man! Why did you have to go and do that? The last brunette I was with ended up being my sister and now this one is dead before I can even put the old “jedi mind trick” to good use!”
Green Arrow: “Don’t you have some power converters to buy somewhere?”
Luke: “Yes, I do need to go to Tosche station to pick up some power converters but jerks like you, and vader, and the Wampa keep interrupting me! My whole life has just been one stupid roadblock after another… but now.. NOW I will finally sweep all of these insignificant obstacles out of my way and get my hands on those sweet sweet power converters. I’m gonna convert so much frikkin power you have no idea!”
With this, Luke summons all his strength, drawing on his familiarity with the territory and he summons a Force Swamp Typhoon. The water swirls, chunks of debris fly in every direction, puncturing ancient trees and combatants alike.
The Typhoon smashes into Green Arrow breaking his spine and sending all the arrows in his quiver in an arc towards Pyro, the arrows slam into pyro, followed shortly by Green Arrow himself, killing him instantly.
Unfortunately Luke seems to have lost himself to the dark side, the promise of power converters is just too much temptation for him to overcome, and the typhoon sweeps up the remaining shining force members and Bouncing boy, the debris and sheer force of wind puree’s the video game heroes and the Legion member into a slurry of broken bone and meat.
Triplicate girl charges headlong at Luke in an effort to put him down but he focuses his energy at her clamping down on her trachea, choking the life out of her.
“AAAHHH!” he hears from both sides. He shakes his head to clear the confusion, surely the sound the dying girl is making shouldn’t be that loud.
He doesn’t realize the other two copies of Triplicate girl are sharing her pain. They are also on top of him.
One of the copies takes Luke’s lightsaber off his belt and drives it through his midsection, killing him.
Triplicate girl is reeling from the death of one of her copies. Unfortunately in her collapsed state she is easy prey for Krang who rams one of his gross brain stalk arms into her mouth suffocating her to death.
Karate Kid and Timberwolf finish the fight by drop kicking a gloating Krang directly into R2, shattering the robot and splattering the evil villain.
In a matter of hours the swamps will clean the remnants of the battle and it will be as if nothing had happened here. But that will not change the fact that:
The Untouchables Are Victorious!
Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl, Timberwolf, Chameleon Boy, and Karate Kid. Survive.
The Untouchables are: Green Arrow, Black Canary, Pyro, Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl, Bouncing Boy, Triplicate Girl, Timberwolf, Chameleon Boy, and Karate Kid.
(This battle was watched by Watcher Mikatu.)
The Swamps of Dagobah are silent except for the chirping of some unknown space bug.
Max, Gort, Tao, Anri, Diane, Torre, and Khris are all trudging through the swamps in search of their opponents.
Max: “I was told this fight was in the Dagobah SYSTEM; not on dagobah proper, If I had known we would be dragging our boots through this muck I would have brought a change of clothes.”
Gort: “Ach, Aye, this sludge is worse than Diane’s combat skills.”
Max: “Oh shut up, just because she’s…. ok yeah she sucks, you’re right.”
The Beyonder: “SILENCE! We do not have time for your inane prattle, the battle is nearly upon us!”
Unfortunately for the Beyonder, heavy hitters tend to get ganged up on around here, the combined forces of the Legion of Superheroes have set up position and all unload on him at once. Bouncing Boy is slammed into the ground at his feet and bounces up, striking the Beyonder in the chin, dazing him. While the Beyonder reels from the impact Lightning Lad pours 1.21 gigawats of pure energy into the semi-omnipotent creature.
The Beyonder tries to cling to the nearest insulator to let the electricity flow through him but the damp air and even more damp ground of Dagobah keeps the electricity flowing through him until his eyes boil in his skull and run down his cheeks like two over easy eggs.
R2D2: “Bweep boop boop dweet” (Translation: That was messed up!)
C3P0: “Oh my yes, he didn’t stand a chance, you should really get us out of here R2.”
R2D2: “Eng-eng beep boodoo boop badeep boop boop.” (Translation: there’s no way I can get us out of here…)
C3P0: “What do you mean you can’t get us out of here? Remember when you used to fly and set things on fire? Oh nevermind, you overweight rustbucket. We can walk.”
R2D2: “Bwoooooop-woop-woop!” (Translation: oh that’s IT!...)
And with this R2 Spews muddy waste oil all over C3P0 and uses the last bit of juice in his thrusters to set the annoying gold robot on fire.
R2D2: “Beep beep beep boop” (Translation: I’ve been waiting to do that since 2 ABY)
The Screaming and flaming (in more ways than one…) Robot draws the attention of Green Arrow and Black Canary.
They’re investigating the pile of melting scrap when Amy Poteracki springs out of the mud like Arnold in Predator. She drags black canary down by her fishnets and forces her face into the swamp.
Amy: “Try screaming under water you bimbo! And what is with that outfit? I mean a Leather Onesie with fishnets? Really?” Black Canary Stops twitching just before Green Arrow puts a punching bag arrow into the back of Amy’s head, sending her unconscious into the same watery grave his wife is now resting partially in.
Luke: “Aw man! Why did you have to go and do that? The last brunette I was with ended up being my sister and now this one is dead before I can even put the old “jedi mind trick” to good use!”
Green Arrow: “Don’t you have some power converters to buy somewhere?”
Luke: “Yes, I do need to go to Tosche station to pick up some power converters but jerks like you, and vader, and the Wampa keep interrupting me! My whole life has just been one stupid roadblock after another… but now.. NOW I will finally sweep all of these insignificant obstacles out of my way and get my hands on those sweet sweet power converters. I’m gonna convert so much frikkin power you have no idea!”
With this, Luke summons all his strength, drawing on his familiarity with the territory and he summons a Force Swamp Typhoon. The water swirls, chunks of debris fly in every direction, puncturing ancient trees and combatants alike.
The Typhoon smashes into Green Arrow breaking his spine and sending all the arrows in his quiver in an arc towards Pyro, the arrows slam into pyro, followed shortly by Green Arrow himself, killing him instantly.
Unfortunately Luke seems to have lost himself to the dark side, the promise of power converters is just too much temptation for him to overcome, and the typhoon sweeps up the remaining shining force members and Bouncing boy, the debris and sheer force of wind puree’s the video game heroes and the Legion member into a slurry of broken bone and meat.
Triplicate girl charges headlong at Luke in an effort to put him down but he focuses his energy at her clamping down on her trachea, choking the life out of her.
“AAAHHH!” he hears from both sides. He shakes his head to clear the confusion, surely the sound the dying girl is making shouldn’t be that loud.
He doesn’t realize the other two copies of Triplicate girl are sharing her pain. They are also on top of him.
One of the copies takes Luke’s lightsaber off his belt and drives it through his midsection, killing him.
Triplicate girl is reeling from the death of one of her copies. Unfortunately in her collapsed state she is easy prey for Krang who rams one of his gross brain stalk arms into her mouth suffocating her to death.
Karate Kid and Timberwolf finish the fight by drop kicking a gloating Krang directly into R2, shattering the robot and splattering the evil villain.
In a matter of hours the swamps will clean the remnants of the battle and it will be as if nothing had happened here. But that will not change the fact that:
The Untouchables Are Victorious!
Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl, Timberwolf, Chameleon Boy, and Karate Kid. Survive.
Better than all of you Vs The Transfoamers
Better Than All of You is …
Lonestar & Barf in Imperial Shuttle,2 Jedi Guardians in A Wing, Red Wing, Yogurt, Ric Flair, Tully Blanchard w/ Sith Lavarouk ,Ole Anderson ,Terminator # 27,Cobra Vipers # 49 & 50
The Transfoamers are…
B.L. Darth Bane, B.L. Darth Rave, Zam Wessal, Ancient Gizan Swordsmen #19, Jedi Masters #9, 29, and 34.
Red Wing, Yogurt, Ric Flair, Tully Blanchard w/ Sith Lavarouk, Ole Anderson, Terminator # 27, Cobra Vipers # 49 & 50 are all marching through the swamp arguing about who has the best plan. Obviously the terminator has the best plan but no one wants to listen to him because he’s a robot. Frankly I don’t blame them. After about 20 minutes of walking, the guys come across Zam wessal and the Ancient Gizan Swordsmen#19. The group pounces all at once Zam Wessal is unable to get off even a single shot before Ole Anderson bashes her head in with a steal chair. The Gizan swordsmen keeps them at bay for a moment but is rushed and over taken by terminator#27. The Swordsmen is then folded in half the hard way. The 3 Jedi Masters rush to engage their enemies but suddenly Jedi Master # 34 stops running.
Jedi Master#34: I sense a disturbance in the force.
Black lantern Darth Rave: don’t worry its just me.
Jedi Master# 34: yea you wish, this is a lot bigger.
A frail old looking man walks out of a dark, fowl cave. The man looks up, points out his finger like a gun, then points at each member of better than all of you while simultaneously using the force to implode their skulls. He then removes his cloak and charges the Jedi. The decapitates all of them in under 30 seconds. Then the plucks the ships out of the sky and smashes them into one another killing all aboard.
Black lantern Darth Rave: That was the coolest thing I have ever seen, we should hang out some time my names Darth rave.
Black Lantern Darth Bane: What was your name?
Black lantern Darth Rave: Darth Ra.
Darth Bane has just enforced the rule of two by killing Darth Rave. Their can be only one!………..and one apprentice that’s fine I mean come on it would get pretty boring just bein by yourself all the time.
THE TRANSFOAMERS ARE VICTORIOUS!
Better than all of you: ALL DEAD
The Transfoamers: Black lantern Darth Bane survives
Lonestar & Barf in Imperial Shuttle,2 Jedi Guardians in A Wing, Red Wing, Yogurt, Ric Flair, Tully Blanchard w/ Sith Lavarouk ,Ole Anderson ,Terminator # 27,Cobra Vipers # 49 & 50
The Transfoamers are…
B.L. Darth Bane, B.L. Darth Rave, Zam Wessal, Ancient Gizan Swordsmen #19, Jedi Masters #9, 29, and 34.
Red Wing, Yogurt, Ric Flair, Tully Blanchard w/ Sith Lavarouk, Ole Anderson, Terminator # 27, Cobra Vipers # 49 & 50 are all marching through the swamp arguing about who has the best plan. Obviously the terminator has the best plan but no one wants to listen to him because he’s a robot. Frankly I don’t blame them. After about 20 minutes of walking, the guys come across Zam wessal and the Ancient Gizan Swordsmen#19. The group pounces all at once Zam Wessal is unable to get off even a single shot before Ole Anderson bashes her head in with a steal chair. The Gizan swordsmen keeps them at bay for a moment but is rushed and over taken by terminator#27. The Swordsmen is then folded in half the hard way. The 3 Jedi Masters rush to engage their enemies but suddenly Jedi Master # 34 stops running.
Jedi Master#34: I sense a disturbance in the force.
Black lantern Darth Rave: don’t worry its just me.
Jedi Master# 34: yea you wish, this is a lot bigger.
A frail old looking man walks out of a dark, fowl cave. The man looks up, points out his finger like a gun, then points at each member of better than all of you while simultaneously using the force to implode their skulls. He then removes his cloak and charges the Jedi. The decapitates all of them in under 30 seconds. Then the plucks the ships out of the sky and smashes them into one another killing all aboard.
Black lantern Darth Rave: That was the coolest thing I have ever seen, we should hang out some time my names Darth rave.
Black Lantern Darth Bane: What was your name?
Black lantern Darth Rave: Darth Ra.
Darth Bane has just enforced the rule of two by killing Darth Rave. Their can be only one!………..and one apprentice that’s fine I mean come on it would get pretty boring just bein by yourself all the time.
THE TRANSFOAMERS ARE VICTORIOUS!
Better than all of you: ALL DEAD
The Transfoamers: Black lantern Darth Bane survives
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs Oblivio
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches are…
Lizard, Gambit, Killer Croc, Michael Myers, Samara, and Black Lantern Parallax.
Oblivio is …
Shredder w/ mithril vest, chucky w/ Yellow power ring, Tiffany w/ Star Sapphire ring, Jet Jaguar, Junkion#25, Junkion#26, and Kyle Rayner-Parallax w/ Kyle’s Green Lantern ring.
Junkion#25: Ladies and Gentlemen Start your engines! The Show is about to begin.
Shredder: Silence you fools, You’ll give us away.
From behind a Gnarltree: Too late mon ami.
Shredder is hit with three explosive objects. He’s down. Gambit now shows himself and charges the junkion’s, He hits number 25 with about 6 or 7 to each of his legs blowing them to bits. Remy then uses the downed robot to jump onto Junkion# 26 and charge a large section of his lower torso, that shortly explodes and rips the robot apart. Shredder has recovered and is now back in the fight.
Gambit: I thought you’s dead from b’fore? Welp, no matter you will be soon.
The two men rush to square off, they both throw quick combos, but neither man lands. Gambit finally hits shredder in the head with his staff wobbling the Leader of The Foot. Gambit smells blood and attacks but Shredder hits him with a spinning back kick to the body. Oroku then lands a hard kick to the body, which is even more devastating than normal on account of the bladed shin guards. Shredder swings for his wounded foes head but gambit parries the attack, grabs a hold of Oroku’s right hand blade and charges it. Shredder doesn’t even try to take it off because he know he doesn’t have enough time and he would just damage his other hand. So he simple holds it above his head and doesn’t even flinch when it explodes, he just goes right back to fighting. By this time though Gambit has already turned around to face Junkion# 26 who now has a T.V. to replaces the chunk gambit destroyed. But on that T.V. is a very special little girl. Samara has invaded gambits mind and stopped him dead in his tracks. Shredder see’s what has happened but still runs up an stabs Gambit to death from behind, then runs away to take care of his wound.
Chucky: Where the F***K ARE THESE P*****S! I WANA GUT SOMEONE NOW F***K!
Tiffany: Would you stop. I know you were always all about killing people, but ever since you got that ring its like all you wanna do is kill people. Can‘t we just hold hands and talk like we used to.
Chucky: Yea well ever since you got your F****IN ring you’ve been a whiny B***H!
The arguing couple come across teammate Shredder who is sitting on a log, by one of the swamps tending to his stump.
Chucky: Yo Captain Can opener, were are the soon to be dead people?
Shredder points in the direction he just came from. As soon as his teammates are gone, KILLER CROC BURSTS OUT OF THE WATER BEHIND HIM! Croc bites down hard on shredders exposed neck and drags him underwater, after a brief struggle The Leader of The Foot is no more.
Chucky and Tiffany come across the lifeless bodies of Gambit and the Junkion’s. Samara begins to make creepy noises and then climbs out of the T.V.
Chucky: Oh not this B***h. I am gana take my time killing her.
Tiffany: I actually totally agree with you on this one.
Chucky uses his power ring to make a medieval torture rack and has placed Samara in it. As Chucky starts turning the wheel and laughing at all the pain he’s causing Tiffany realizes how much she loves killing. So she and chucky begin turning to wheel together finally ripping all four limbs off. Chucky hands her his light saber and she cuts of Samara’s head. The two dolls grab each other and have freaky doll sex, right there in the Degobah muck.
Suddenly Killer croc and Lizard jump out of the near by swamp, croc heaves a large rock at tiffany that she doesn’t even see coming. Tiffany is crushed to death. Chucky goes ape s**t and uses his powers to form two large scourges that he uses to beat the lizard and the croc the death with. Seeing his opportunity the newly born Michael Myers-Black lantern Parallax fly’s up behind the heart broken chucky ,who is still flogging the chunks of meat, and plunges his favorite kitchen knife right through the dolls bulbous head. Michael Myers-Black lantern Parallax turns and fly’s right trough the chest of Jet Jaguar. Michael Myers-Black lantern Parallax is now face to face with Kyle Rayner-Parallax, MMBLP charges, and Kyle Rayner-Parallax just smiles then shoots a beam of green and yellow energy the destroys MMBLP.
p.s. I went back and looked at my tapes just to make sure i didn't leave out any action. I found another angle under water and Killer croc clearly skull f***k's Shredder to death.
OBLIVIO IS VICTORIOUS!
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches: ALL DEAD
Oblivio: Kyle Rayner-Parallax survives
Lizard, Gambit, Killer Croc, Michael Myers, Samara, and Black Lantern Parallax.
Oblivio is …
Shredder w/ mithril vest, chucky w/ Yellow power ring, Tiffany w/ Star Sapphire ring, Jet Jaguar, Junkion#25, Junkion#26, and Kyle Rayner-Parallax w/ Kyle’s Green Lantern ring.
Junkion#25: Ladies and Gentlemen Start your engines! The Show is about to begin.
Shredder: Silence you fools, You’ll give us away.
From behind a Gnarltree: Too late mon ami.
Shredder is hit with three explosive objects. He’s down. Gambit now shows himself and charges the junkion’s, He hits number 25 with about 6 or 7 to each of his legs blowing them to bits. Remy then uses the downed robot to jump onto Junkion# 26 and charge a large section of his lower torso, that shortly explodes and rips the robot apart. Shredder has recovered and is now back in the fight.
Gambit: I thought you’s dead from b’fore? Welp, no matter you will be soon.
The two men rush to square off, they both throw quick combos, but neither man lands. Gambit finally hits shredder in the head with his staff wobbling the Leader of The Foot. Gambit smells blood and attacks but Shredder hits him with a spinning back kick to the body. Oroku then lands a hard kick to the body, which is even more devastating than normal on account of the bladed shin guards. Shredder swings for his wounded foes head but gambit parries the attack, grabs a hold of Oroku’s right hand blade and charges it. Shredder doesn’t even try to take it off because he know he doesn’t have enough time and he would just damage his other hand. So he simple holds it above his head and doesn’t even flinch when it explodes, he just goes right back to fighting. By this time though Gambit has already turned around to face Junkion# 26 who now has a T.V. to replaces the chunk gambit destroyed. But on that T.V. is a very special little girl. Samara has invaded gambits mind and stopped him dead in his tracks. Shredder see’s what has happened but still runs up an stabs Gambit to death from behind, then runs away to take care of his wound.
Chucky: Where the F***K ARE THESE P*****S! I WANA GUT SOMEONE NOW F***K!
Tiffany: Would you stop. I know you were always all about killing people, but ever since you got that ring its like all you wanna do is kill people. Can‘t we just hold hands and talk like we used to.
Chucky: Yea well ever since you got your F****IN ring you’ve been a whiny B***H!
The arguing couple come across teammate Shredder who is sitting on a log, by one of the swamps tending to his stump.
Chucky: Yo Captain Can opener, were are the soon to be dead people?
Shredder points in the direction he just came from. As soon as his teammates are gone, KILLER CROC BURSTS OUT OF THE WATER BEHIND HIM! Croc bites down hard on shredders exposed neck and drags him underwater, after a brief struggle The Leader of The Foot is no more.
Chucky and Tiffany come across the lifeless bodies of Gambit and the Junkion’s. Samara begins to make creepy noises and then climbs out of the T.V.
Chucky: Oh not this B***h. I am gana take my time killing her.
Tiffany: I actually totally agree with you on this one.
Chucky uses his power ring to make a medieval torture rack and has placed Samara in it. As Chucky starts turning the wheel and laughing at all the pain he’s causing Tiffany realizes how much she loves killing. So she and chucky begin turning to wheel together finally ripping all four limbs off. Chucky hands her his light saber and she cuts of Samara’s head. The two dolls grab each other and have freaky doll sex, right there in the Degobah muck.
Suddenly Killer croc and Lizard jump out of the near by swamp, croc heaves a large rock at tiffany that she doesn’t even see coming. Tiffany is crushed to death. Chucky goes ape s**t and uses his powers to form two large scourges that he uses to beat the lizard and the croc the death with. Seeing his opportunity the newly born Michael Myers-Black lantern Parallax fly’s up behind the heart broken chucky ,who is still flogging the chunks of meat, and plunges his favorite kitchen knife right through the dolls bulbous head. Michael Myers-Black lantern Parallax turns and fly’s right trough the chest of Jet Jaguar. Michael Myers-Black lantern Parallax is now face to face with Kyle Rayner-Parallax, MMBLP charges, and Kyle Rayner-Parallax just smiles then shoots a beam of green and yellow energy the destroys MMBLP.
p.s. I went back and looked at my tapes just to make sure i didn't leave out any action. I found another angle under water and Killer croc clearly skull f***k's Shredder to death.
OBLIVIO IS VICTORIOUS!
Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches: ALL DEAD
Oblivio: Kyle Rayner-Parallax survives
Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade vs "I think it's "Pretty Cool" that we killed Bin Laden" "Pop Superstar" Hannah Montana & "Good luck beating me in 2012 now B!*@#!!" President Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commando's
Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade is (Pre Suit) Darth Vader, Emperor Palpatine, Power Girl, Red Lantern #3, Baron Fel & Andrew Laidlaw in an F-14 and Phil Day w/a Sith Lavarouk.
"I think it's "Pretty Cool" that we killed Bin Laden" "Pop Superstar" Hannah Montana & "Good luck beating me in 2012 now B!*@#!!" President Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commando's are President Barack Obama, Earth Two Superman, Black Lantern Optimus Prime, Buffy Summers, Spider-Man, and Harry Potter.
As the Commandos are teleported down to Dagobah Earth Two Superman reminded the President once again how he left him on the bench last week, and in Metropolis of all places. “Sorry about that Superman, I was just a little pre occupied and, well, simply overlooked you,” Obama responds. But before they can continue their discussion, Emperor Palpatine fries the President with a massive blast of Sith Lightning. “You killed our fourth on my bowling team last week, you son of a B!#^$,” exclaims Palpatine as he kills the Head Coach of the Commandos. Earth Two Superman then flies faster than a speeding bullet and grabs the Emperor by his throat, crushing it in the process. Power Girl then flies in and lands a mean double uppercut to Earth Two Superman’s chin, sending him flying high into the air. She quickly flies after him as the rest of the battle wages on.
Baron Fel and Andrew Laidlaw, in their F-14, are doing strafing runs as Black Lantern Optimus Prime flies up out of the swamp to attack them. He uses his ring to propel him towards the jet as they are on a direct collision course. The jet slams into the transformer and there is a massive explosion in the air. Once the dust settles, Black Lantern Optimus Prime, floats there unscathed. He then flies back down to continue his rampage. Harry Potter uses his vast magical abilities to make quick work of Phil Day, but is then confronted by Lord Vader. The Sith Lord block the wizard’s spells with both his mastery of the Force and his lightsaber. Harry isn’t quick enough to react to Vader’s next move, which is leaping over Potter and relieving him of his head. Darth Vader then sees Black Lantern Optimus Prime and focuses all of his powers and blasts the Transformer with a powerful bolt of Sith Lightning. Prime is stunning and taken down to one knee, which is all the opening Vader needs. He leaps into the air, draws his lightsaber and drives it deep into the back of the head of Black Lantern Optimus Prime. The transformer jerks to a standing position, screaming in agony and knocking Darth Vader off of him. The Sith Lord then follows up with another bolt of Sith Lightning, which finally kills Black Lantern Optimus.
Meanwhile, Spider-Man is having one hell of a time trying to evade Red Lantern #3. The rage fueled woman is setting the entire battlefield on Dagobah ablaze with her red energy, which is also burning up Spidey’s webs. Spider-Man finally gains some cover behind Black Lantern Optimus’s fallen carcass. He then back flips over it and onto the back of Red Lantern #3 and unloads both of his web shooters all over his head and completely encasing it. This allows Spider-Man to kick Red Lantern #3 down to the swamp. The two of them crash into the swamp, but Red Lantern #3 does not survive the fall. “Huh, well I wasn’t planning on that happening,” Spider-Man says to himself. He takes a breather for a second, but it’s cut short, literally as his Spider Senses begin to go off like it’s New Year’s Eve in downtown Coruscant. He turns around just in time to see a blue flash in front of his eyes as Darth Vader slices Spider-Man’s head clean off.
Earth Two Superman still is completely on the defense, as Power Girl is viciously attacking her once pseudo-father (Yep, Power Girl is actually from Earth Two). Buffy Summers sees her teammate in need and leaps into the air to aid him. Buffy blindsides Power Girl and tackles her into a large tree. Earth Two Superman regains his composure and swoops over as the two Commandos double team Power Girl into oblivion. They then look down and see a confident (Pre Suit) Darth Vader standing there by the crumpled bodies of their teammates. Buffy eagerly flies down, not waiting for Superman, and goes to attack Vader. The Sith Lord leaps into the air towards the Slayer, but at the last second, she ducks out of the way allowing Earth Two Superman to hit Darth Vader square between the eyes with a lethal shot of heat vision.
THE COMMANDOS ARE VICTORIOUS!!
"I think it's "Pretty Cool" that we killed Bin Laden" "Pop Superstar" Hannah Montana & "Good luck beating me in 2012 now B!*@#!!" President Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commando's are President Barack Obama, Earth Two Superman, Black Lantern Optimus Prime, Buffy Summers, Spider-Man, and Harry Potter.
As the Commandos are teleported down to Dagobah Earth Two Superman reminded the President once again how he left him on the bench last week, and in Metropolis of all places. “Sorry about that Superman, I was just a little pre occupied and, well, simply overlooked you,” Obama responds. But before they can continue their discussion, Emperor Palpatine fries the President with a massive blast of Sith Lightning. “You killed our fourth on my bowling team last week, you son of a B!#^$,” exclaims Palpatine as he kills the Head Coach of the Commandos. Earth Two Superman then flies faster than a speeding bullet and grabs the Emperor by his throat, crushing it in the process. Power Girl then flies in and lands a mean double uppercut to Earth Two Superman’s chin, sending him flying high into the air. She quickly flies after him as the rest of the battle wages on.
Baron Fel and Andrew Laidlaw, in their F-14, are doing strafing runs as Black Lantern Optimus Prime flies up out of the swamp to attack them. He uses his ring to propel him towards the jet as they are on a direct collision course. The jet slams into the transformer and there is a massive explosion in the air. Once the dust settles, Black Lantern Optimus Prime, floats there unscathed. He then flies back down to continue his rampage. Harry Potter uses his vast magical abilities to make quick work of Phil Day, but is then confronted by Lord Vader. The Sith Lord block the wizard’s spells with both his mastery of the Force and his lightsaber. Harry isn’t quick enough to react to Vader’s next move, which is leaping over Potter and relieving him of his head. Darth Vader then sees Black Lantern Optimus Prime and focuses all of his powers and blasts the Transformer with a powerful bolt of Sith Lightning. Prime is stunning and taken down to one knee, which is all the opening Vader needs. He leaps into the air, draws his lightsaber and drives it deep into the back of the head of Black Lantern Optimus Prime. The transformer jerks to a standing position, screaming in agony and knocking Darth Vader off of him. The Sith Lord then follows up with another bolt of Sith Lightning, which finally kills Black Lantern Optimus.
Meanwhile, Spider-Man is having one hell of a time trying to evade Red Lantern #3. The rage fueled woman is setting the entire battlefield on Dagobah ablaze with her red energy, which is also burning up Spidey’s webs. Spider-Man finally gains some cover behind Black Lantern Optimus’s fallen carcass. He then back flips over it and onto the back of Red Lantern #3 and unloads both of his web shooters all over his head and completely encasing it. This allows Spider-Man to kick Red Lantern #3 down to the swamp. The two of them crash into the swamp, but Red Lantern #3 does not survive the fall. “Huh, well I wasn’t planning on that happening,” Spider-Man says to himself. He takes a breather for a second, but it’s cut short, literally as his Spider Senses begin to go off like it’s New Year’s Eve in downtown Coruscant. He turns around just in time to see a blue flash in front of his eyes as Darth Vader slices Spider-Man’s head clean off.
Earth Two Superman still is completely on the defense, as Power Girl is viciously attacking her once pseudo-father (Yep, Power Girl is actually from Earth Two). Buffy Summers sees her teammate in need and leaps into the air to aid him. Buffy blindsides Power Girl and tackles her into a large tree. Earth Two Superman regains his composure and swoops over as the two Commandos double team Power Girl into oblivion. They then look down and see a confident (Pre Suit) Darth Vader standing there by the crumpled bodies of their teammates. Buffy eagerly flies down, not waiting for Superman, and goes to attack Vader. The Sith Lord leaps into the air towards the Slayer, but at the last second, she ducks out of the way allowing Earth Two Superman to hit Darth Vader square between the eyes with a lethal shot of heat vision.
THE COMMANDOS ARE VICTORIOUS!!
The Abomitrons Vs. Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve
The Abomitrons are Yaddle, Odin, Dark Beast, Cyborg Superman, and Immell #4 (Paddle), Immell #18 (Dr. Ray Wookie), & Ewok Child #1 in a Rhino 4 x 4.
Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Oa Guardian #1 (w/ a green lantern ring), Oa Guardian #2-4, Jack Bauer, Beast Boy, & Nomi Sunrider.
Plans have no time for formulation as these two teams clash within the tiny planet of Degobah. Mini -battles erupt all over the swamps as Yaddle and Nomi Sunrider's green lightsabers clash with each other in the thick tree-tops high above the battle. The force strong area surrounding them significantly strengthens both of their Jedi powers as the two females jump around each other in an amazing display of acrobatics. Nomi takes a hard swing at her much smaller opponent, but Yaddle manages to dodge the blow and finish off Sunrider with a lightsaber sweep to the neck. The four Oa Guardians, led by the green ring wielding Guardian #1 are squaring off against the formidable duo of Cyborg Superman and Odin, while Beast Boy is rapidly changing from jaguar, to raptor, to bald eagle and back in order to try and keep up with the Rhino 4x4 that is being driven through the swampy landscape by Paddle. Dr. Ray Wookie provides cover for the vehicle with his proton pack, but Beast Boy manages to evade the blasts while keeping up with the ATV. The Ewok Child is as scared as an Ewok Child as Beast Boy in his ever-changing forms get closer and closer to The Abomitron Vehicle. Back on drier land, Jack Bauer is taking a beating like only Jack Bauer can from Dark Beast, when the CTU Agent falls to the ground and pulls a tactical knife from his boot. Dark Beast jumps high into the air in order to gain momentum for his driving aerial attack on the human, when Jack rolls out of the way and gets behind the mutant. "Look for your own dimension in Hell" Jack says as he plunges the knife deep into the throat of Dark Beast to take out the intelligent deviant. Odin summons some Asgardian Power to take out Oa Guardian #3, but before he can do it again the other three guardians overwhelm and destroy him with their cosmic powers. This leaves Cyborg Superman to battle with them high above the swampy landscape, while Beast Boy manages to land on the Rhino in Pterodactyl form and than quickly turn into a Grizzly Bear long enough to maul both Ewok Child #1 and Dr. Ray Wookie. Paddle draws her hockey stick shaped lightsaber and swings at Beast Boy, but Beast Boy turns into a howler monkey and uses his tail to knock the strange shaped lightsaber out of her hand. Beast Boy then turns in to a Rhino ( on top of the Rhino) and drives (while it is driving) his horn (while Paddle inadvertently leans on the horn) into Paddle’s chest (sorry, no vehicle pun with this one). Beast Boy jumps off of the vehicle, and instantly turns into a hawk and takes flight in order to join his Oa Guardian teammates in battle against Cyborg Superman. Cyborg Superman uses his heat vision to melt Oa Guardian #2, while he is simultaneously using his freeze breath to crack Oa Guardian #4; and this is all before Beast Boy can even get up enough height to help them out. Beast Boy flies above Cyborg Superman and turns into a Brontosaurus, right above him. This both stuns Cyborg Superman and brings him down to the ground, but in essence doesn’t necessarily work in the favor of The Kennelz. Jack Bauer grabs his Sig-Saur and joins his teammates, but Cyborg Superman regains his composure and is joined by Yaddle. Cyborg Superman delivers a punch to the face of Jack Bauer which could kill just about any human on the universe, and which sends the Federal Agent sailing in to the distance. Beast Boy turns in to a T-Rex and attempts to bite down on the body of Cyborg Superman, but the half Kryptonian grabs a hold of both sides of his jaw and completely rips Beast Boy apart in what is possibly his most powerful form. While he is in the midst of this offensive posture, Oa Guardian #1 takes the opportunity to unleash the full potential of both his green lantern ring, as well as his own cosmic powers. This amazing display of power, serves to take out Cyborg Superman once and for all, but the Oa Guardian’s release of power serves as futile as Cyborg Superman’s four year teammate Yaddle avenges him by force pushing the Guardian over and then plunging her under-sized green lightsaber in to his chest. Yaddle looks around the battlefield assuming that all are defeated; but if she thinks that no man can live through a punch from Cyborg Superman... Than she doesn’t know Jack.
THE ABOMITRONS ARE VICTORIOUS
The Abomitrons: Yaddle is the sole survivor (R.I.P. Cyborg Superman)
Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve: Jack Bauer lives to fight another day.
Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Oa Guardian #1 (w/ a green lantern ring), Oa Guardian #2-4, Jack Bauer, Beast Boy, & Nomi Sunrider.
Plans have no time for formulation as these two teams clash within the tiny planet of Degobah. Mini -battles erupt all over the swamps as Yaddle and Nomi Sunrider's green lightsabers clash with each other in the thick tree-tops high above the battle. The force strong area surrounding them significantly strengthens both of their Jedi powers as the two females jump around each other in an amazing display of acrobatics. Nomi takes a hard swing at her much smaller opponent, but Yaddle manages to dodge the blow and finish off Sunrider with a lightsaber sweep to the neck. The four Oa Guardians, led by the green ring wielding Guardian #1 are squaring off against the formidable duo of Cyborg Superman and Odin, while Beast Boy is rapidly changing from jaguar, to raptor, to bald eagle and back in order to try and keep up with the Rhino 4x4 that is being driven through the swampy landscape by Paddle. Dr. Ray Wookie provides cover for the vehicle with his proton pack, but Beast Boy manages to evade the blasts while keeping up with the ATV. The Ewok Child is as scared as an Ewok Child as Beast Boy in his ever-changing forms get closer and closer to The Abomitron Vehicle. Back on drier land, Jack Bauer is taking a beating like only Jack Bauer can from Dark Beast, when the CTU Agent falls to the ground and pulls a tactical knife from his boot. Dark Beast jumps high into the air in order to gain momentum for his driving aerial attack on the human, when Jack rolls out of the way and gets behind the mutant. "Look for your own dimension in Hell" Jack says as he plunges the knife deep into the throat of Dark Beast to take out the intelligent deviant. Odin summons some Asgardian Power to take out Oa Guardian #3, but before he can do it again the other three guardians overwhelm and destroy him with their cosmic powers. This leaves Cyborg Superman to battle with them high above the swampy landscape, while Beast Boy manages to land on the Rhino in Pterodactyl form and than quickly turn into a Grizzly Bear long enough to maul both Ewok Child #1 and Dr. Ray Wookie. Paddle draws her hockey stick shaped lightsaber and swings at Beast Boy, but Beast Boy turns into a howler monkey and uses his tail to knock the strange shaped lightsaber out of her hand. Beast Boy then turns in to a Rhino ( on top of the Rhino) and drives (while it is driving) his horn (while Paddle inadvertently leans on the horn) into Paddle’s chest (sorry, no vehicle pun with this one). Beast Boy jumps off of the vehicle, and instantly turns into a hawk and takes flight in order to join his Oa Guardian teammates in battle against Cyborg Superman. Cyborg Superman uses his heat vision to melt Oa Guardian #2, while he is simultaneously using his freeze breath to crack Oa Guardian #4; and this is all before Beast Boy can even get up enough height to help them out. Beast Boy flies above Cyborg Superman and turns into a Brontosaurus, right above him. This both stuns Cyborg Superman and brings him down to the ground, but in essence doesn’t necessarily work in the favor of The Kennelz. Jack Bauer grabs his Sig-Saur and joins his teammates, but Cyborg Superman regains his composure and is joined by Yaddle. Cyborg Superman delivers a punch to the face of Jack Bauer which could kill just about any human on the universe, and which sends the Federal Agent sailing in to the distance. Beast Boy turns in to a T-Rex and attempts to bite down on the body of Cyborg Superman, but the half Kryptonian grabs a hold of both sides of his jaw and completely rips Beast Boy apart in what is possibly his most powerful form. While he is in the midst of this offensive posture, Oa Guardian #1 takes the opportunity to unleash the full potential of both his green lantern ring, as well as his own cosmic powers. This amazing display of power, serves to take out Cyborg Superman once and for all, but the Oa Guardian’s release of power serves as futile as Cyborg Superman’s four year teammate Yaddle avenges him by force pushing the Guardian over and then plunging her under-sized green lightsaber in to his chest. Yaddle looks around the battlefield assuming that all are defeated; but if she thinks that no man can live through a punch from Cyborg Superman... Than she doesn’t know Jack.
THE ABOMITRONS ARE VICTORIOUS
The Abomitrons: Yaddle is the sole survivor (R.I.P. Cyborg Superman)
Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve: Jack Bauer lives to fight another day.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Logical Genocide Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
Logical Genocide is Black Tom Cassidy, Mungo (w/ a Devil Lance), Nadira, Robert Hudson (w/ a Laser gun, a Laser Sword, & Mewtoo), The Champion of The Universe, Black Lantern Brainiac, Goro (w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring), & Jason Todd (w/ the cannon-shell and armor skin six gun).
Alice's Wonder Team is Zombie Abomination, Lady Q, & Quinn.
The swamps erupt with the sounds and movements of battle, but while this melee takes place, some of the greatest minds of the FFL discuss the true outcome of this weeks match within the cozy confines of Yoda's hut. Quinn and Lady Q sit at a small table with their would-be adversaries Black Lantern Brainiac and Robert Hudson. They discuss which of their two teams should be the victors based solely on sheer cognitive capacity, meanwhile Zombie Abomination is turning Degobah into nothing more than a slimy mud-hole (wait a tic... That's somebody's home I'm talking about). It is unclear whether or not the regular Abomination would have been scared off by Goro’s yellow powered ring, but it is fairly obvious that the zombie version was not affected by the yellow energy as he blasted through the attacks of the Mortal Kombat Tournament Champion and broke the half-dragon’s neck on the way to Jason Todd. Jason Todd managed to jump out of the way of Abomination’s first attack, and then to get off a shot of cannonshell at the creature, but even his armored skin was not enough to protect him against the one-hundred ton plus powered punches of Abomination. Black Tom Cassidy is turning the entire system of Degobah against the Abomination, but the zombie seems unaffected by the environmental attacks. Zombie Abomination rips through the vines that would have been Black Tom’s defense and then quickly feasts on the much smaller Cassidy. Nadira and The Champion of the Universe stand side by side in preparation for their attack on Abomination, but Mungo make his attack first. Mungo attacks, but his Demon Rod is cursed and inflicts enough damage on Mungo to prove that all cats go to heaven. While the two L-Gers get ready to square off against their diminutive zombie foe, the debate within the hut rages on. Actually, it isn’t much of a debate at all, it has mostly consisted of Black Lantern Brainiac talking about how awesome he is to the Q’s, who frankly aren’t buying what he is selling. “Oh, this ring... It ain’t nuthin. I mean, sure it gives me some power and stuff; but my real power.... Is up here” Brainiac says as he points t his noggin. The Q’s look at each other and seem unimpressed by Brainiac’s ability to keep up wit them mentally, when Robert Hudson chimes in: “So, all this is really cool, but when it comes down to winning this match, I only have one thing to say... You know how Han shot before Greedo???... Well, guess who shot before Han“?!?... As Hudson says this he pulls out his laser gun and tries to shoot Lady Q from under the table. As cool as this move may seem, Lady Q instantly dissolves the gun before his eyes. In the meantime, Hudson’s pal Mewtoo (Robert no longer has a pokeball, he is constantly accompanied by Mewtoo, the Pokemon who popped out of the ball, during its first use) (*See the Logical Genocide Vs. Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s: Beeyatches Match from last season’s play-offs) says “dang Rob, you just got jacked worse than the only varsity jacket at Type O Negative Concert”. Rob retorts: “Can it Pokemon. That weapon was to uncivilized anyways. We need a more elegant weapon for a more civilized age... Oh and by the way your comments are lame and smell like a Heineken fart”. Mewtoo says in reply: “Yeah, whateavs... I’m your pocket monster”. Robert then pulls out his laser sword and rushes at the two Qs. Lady Q and Quinn both stand up and decide that it is no longer meaningful to continue this debate and they collectively wipe Black Lantern Brainiac, Robert Hudson, and Mewtoo from this plane of existence. While these events are transpiring, The Champion of the Universe and Nadira have been putting a hall of fame smack down, down on Zombie Abomination until he is simply considered to be an abomination of zombies. Abomination is nothing more than a pile of green gunk when they are done with him; but as they finish their beating and look around for more opponents; they are confronted by the two Qs who are vacating Yoda’s hut. Lady Q is not supposed to be able to be offended or jealous of a lesser life form, but when she witnesses the perfect Kryptonian form of Nadira she decides that the universe would be better off without this “skank” and rips apart every molecule that composes her. Quinn, of course becomes jealous of this “powerful” opponent of his and her ability to cease living and once again becomes obsessed with his own desire to die. He begins a conversation with The Champion of the Universe, which compels the Champion to say: “No being can take my title, for I am the Champion of The Universe and have no worthy competitor”! Quinn then walks up to The Champion and says: “Fine, I agree. Which is why we will say that you won by default when the one who defeated you died as well”. With this comment, both Quinn and The Champion of the Universe are completely wiped from existence by the powers of The Q Continuum.
ALICE’S WONDER TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!!
Alice's Wonder Team is Zombie Abomination, Lady Q, & Quinn.
The swamps erupt with the sounds and movements of battle, but while this melee takes place, some of the greatest minds of the FFL discuss the true outcome of this weeks match within the cozy confines of Yoda's hut. Quinn and Lady Q sit at a small table with their would-be adversaries Black Lantern Brainiac and Robert Hudson. They discuss which of their two teams should be the victors based solely on sheer cognitive capacity, meanwhile Zombie Abomination is turning Degobah into nothing more than a slimy mud-hole (wait a tic... That's somebody's home I'm talking about). It is unclear whether or not the regular Abomination would have been scared off by Goro’s yellow powered ring, but it is fairly obvious that the zombie version was not affected by the yellow energy as he blasted through the attacks of the Mortal Kombat Tournament Champion and broke the half-dragon’s neck on the way to Jason Todd. Jason Todd managed to jump out of the way of Abomination’s first attack, and then to get off a shot of cannonshell at the creature, but even his armored skin was not enough to protect him against the one-hundred ton plus powered punches of Abomination. Black Tom Cassidy is turning the entire system of Degobah against the Abomination, but the zombie seems unaffected by the environmental attacks. Zombie Abomination rips through the vines that would have been Black Tom’s defense and then quickly feasts on the much smaller Cassidy. Nadira and The Champion of the Universe stand side by side in preparation for their attack on Abomination, but Mungo make his attack first. Mungo attacks, but his Demon Rod is cursed and inflicts enough damage on Mungo to prove that all cats go to heaven. While the two L-Gers get ready to square off against their diminutive zombie foe, the debate within the hut rages on. Actually, it isn’t much of a debate at all, it has mostly consisted of Black Lantern Brainiac talking about how awesome he is to the Q’s, who frankly aren’t buying what he is selling. “Oh, this ring... It ain’t nuthin. I mean, sure it gives me some power and stuff; but my real power.... Is up here” Brainiac says as he points t his noggin. The Q’s look at each other and seem unimpressed by Brainiac’s ability to keep up wit them mentally, when Robert Hudson chimes in: “So, all this is really cool, but when it comes down to winning this match, I only have one thing to say... You know how Han shot before Greedo???... Well, guess who shot before Han“?!?... As Hudson says this he pulls out his laser gun and tries to shoot Lady Q from under the table. As cool as this move may seem, Lady Q instantly dissolves the gun before his eyes. In the meantime, Hudson’s pal Mewtoo (Robert no longer has a pokeball, he is constantly accompanied by Mewtoo, the Pokemon who popped out of the ball, during its first use) (*See the Logical Genocide Vs. Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s: Beeyatches Match from last season’s play-offs) says “dang Rob, you just got jacked worse than the only varsity jacket at Type O Negative Concert”. Rob retorts: “Can it Pokemon. That weapon was to uncivilized anyways. We need a more elegant weapon for a more civilized age... Oh and by the way your comments are lame and smell like a Heineken fart”. Mewtoo says in reply: “Yeah, whateavs... I’m your pocket monster”. Robert then pulls out his laser sword and rushes at the two Qs. Lady Q and Quinn both stand up and decide that it is no longer meaningful to continue this debate and they collectively wipe Black Lantern Brainiac, Robert Hudson, and Mewtoo from this plane of existence. While these events are transpiring, The Champion of the Universe and Nadira have been putting a hall of fame smack down, down on Zombie Abomination until he is simply considered to be an abomination of zombies. Abomination is nothing more than a pile of green gunk when they are done with him; but as they finish their beating and look around for more opponents; they are confronted by the two Qs who are vacating Yoda’s hut. Lady Q is not supposed to be able to be offended or jealous of a lesser life form, but when she witnesses the perfect Kryptonian form of Nadira she decides that the universe would be better off without this “skank” and rips apart every molecule that composes her. Quinn, of course becomes jealous of this “powerful” opponent of his and her ability to cease living and once again becomes obsessed with his own desire to die. He begins a conversation with The Champion of the Universe, which compels the Champion to say: “No being can take my title, for I am the Champion of The Universe and have no worthy competitor”! Quinn then walks up to The Champion and says: “Fine, I agree. Which is why we will say that you won by default when the one who defeated you died as well”. With this comment, both Quinn and The Champion of the Universe are completely wiped from existence by the powers of The Q Continuum.
ALICE’S WONDER TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!!
The Right Wing vs Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies
The Right Wing is Red She-Hulk, Cosmic Hulk Robot, Skarr (son of Hulk), Lyra the She-Hulk, Victoria w/a Red Lightsaber, Osmosis Jones, Frederick Douglass and Mike Huckabee.
Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderflies are The Blair Witch, Rancor #1, Bob: Agent of Hydra, Squirrels #1-15, Al Qaeda Soldiers #1-20, and The Wu Tang Clan: ODB, Dirt McGirt, Big Baby Jesus, RZA, GZA, Method Man, Raekwon, Ghost Face Killah, Inspectah Deck, U-God, Masta-Killa, & Cappadonna.
The air is thick on Dagobah tonight, and that’s not just due to the haze of smoke courtesy of the Wu Tang Clan, who are currently so baked they can hardly even stand. Frederick Douglass leads the Right Wing charge as they swarm the Murderflies. Osmosis Jones instantly leaps into ODB’s nose, but is dissolved by the massive amounts of cocaine that was coating the inside of the rapper’s nostrils. Lyra the She-Hulk has covered part of her body in war paint in the fashion of blue with white stars. Red She-Hulk has donned war paint as well, but her’s is white stripes streaking across her vibrant red body. The two patriotic powerhouses crash into the Al Qaeda insurgence and viciously begin to rip apart their bodies. The Soldiers try and fight back, but their bullets simply bounce off of their impenetrable skin. Al Qaeda Soldier #1 attempts to sacrifices himself with a bomb that is strapped to him, but Skaar joins the fray and does a Hulk Clap that squishes the Soldier before he can detonate the bomb. All twenty Soldiers are quickly and mercilessly disposed of in way that would make S.E.A.L. Team Six blush.
Victoria the leaps into action, igniting her lightsaber and slices through RZA as she bites down on the neck of Method Man. The then punches a hole right through Raekwon. Fredrick Douglass then backs her up and shoots Inspectah Deck down with his rifle. Mike Huckabee jumps down out of a tree and blasts Big Baby Jesus and GZA in the head with his twin glocks as Victoria finishes off the rest of the Wu Tang Clan. Bob: Agent of Hydra then finds himself staring down the business end of Victoria’s lightsaber when he tried to sneak up on the vampire. His attack is to no avail as she cuts him down without hesitation.
Cosmic Hulk Robot is currently tangled up with Rancor #1, but the contest is over in a matter of mere moments when the Rancor tried to swallow the Hulk Robot, who then proceeded to rip the jaw clean off of the giant monster. The Blair Witch bursts from the shadows and lunges towards Huckabee and Douglass, but Skaar stops her and slices her in two with his enormous sword. The members of the Right Wing then disperse throughout the woods of Dagobah to hunt down and kill the fifteen Squirrels that are scampering about.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!
Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderflies are The Blair Witch, Rancor #1, Bob: Agent of Hydra, Squirrels #1-15, Al Qaeda Soldiers #1-20, and The Wu Tang Clan: ODB, Dirt McGirt, Big Baby Jesus, RZA, GZA, Method Man, Raekwon, Ghost Face Killah, Inspectah Deck, U-God, Masta-Killa, & Cappadonna.
The air is thick on Dagobah tonight, and that’s not just due to the haze of smoke courtesy of the Wu Tang Clan, who are currently so baked they can hardly even stand. Frederick Douglass leads the Right Wing charge as they swarm the Murderflies. Osmosis Jones instantly leaps into ODB’s nose, but is dissolved by the massive amounts of cocaine that was coating the inside of the rapper’s nostrils. Lyra the She-Hulk has covered part of her body in war paint in the fashion of blue with white stars. Red She-Hulk has donned war paint as well, but her’s is white stripes streaking across her vibrant red body. The two patriotic powerhouses crash into the Al Qaeda insurgence and viciously begin to rip apart their bodies. The Soldiers try and fight back, but their bullets simply bounce off of their impenetrable skin. Al Qaeda Soldier #1 attempts to sacrifices himself with a bomb that is strapped to him, but Skaar joins the fray and does a Hulk Clap that squishes the Soldier before he can detonate the bomb. All twenty Soldiers are quickly and mercilessly disposed of in way that would make S.E.A.L. Team Six blush.
Victoria the leaps into action, igniting her lightsaber and slices through RZA as she bites down on the neck of Method Man. The then punches a hole right through Raekwon. Fredrick Douglass then backs her up and shoots Inspectah Deck down with his rifle. Mike Huckabee jumps down out of a tree and blasts Big Baby Jesus and GZA in the head with his twin glocks as Victoria finishes off the rest of the Wu Tang Clan. Bob: Agent of Hydra then finds himself staring down the business end of Victoria’s lightsaber when he tried to sneak up on the vampire. His attack is to no avail as she cuts him down without hesitation.
Cosmic Hulk Robot is currently tangled up with Rancor #1, but the contest is over in a matter of mere moments when the Rancor tried to swallow the Hulk Robot, who then proceeded to rip the jaw clean off of the giant monster. The Blair Witch bursts from the shadows and lunges towards Huckabee and Douglass, but Skaar stops her and slices her in two with his enormous sword. The members of the Right Wing then disperse throughout the woods of Dagobah to hunt down and kill the fifteen Squirrels that are scampering about.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!
Built Ford Tough Vs. Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Dest
Wednesday, Dagobah, south by southwest. The dawn crept in slowly that morning, almost as slowly as a turtle...a turtle stuck in molasses...in the middle of February. The silvery light of morning filled the sky, and a rooster crowed the theme song to Cats, the musical. Still inside their lair, Galadriel, Black Alice, the Stranger, and Proteus were in the middle of an intense meeting of minds, hatching a plot to take over the swampy realm. They had received word that the power of Dagobah would go to the one who obtained the Mystical Marshmallow Microbial Mandolin, which was hidden in a cavern on the yuppy side of the planet. There were many plans to discuss, blue prints to pour over, pie charts to draw, puffy paints to use, and silly string to spray.
Meanwhile.....
Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's, alongside Wendy in a mail delivery jeep, cackled uproariously as he gazed upon the items he had just received from his Amazon.com order. Soon, victory would be his, and everyone would finally stop referring to him as “that washed up burger hack whose daughter always rides around in a mail delivery truck even though she's never worked for the postal service.” As Dave was using his teeth to pop the bubble wrap that surrounded his wares, Dr. Who came up behind him, yammering on his cell phone about his fabulous time machine. Dave rolled his eyes but plastered a friendly smile on his face as Dr. Who hung up up with his caller.
“Wendy!” Dr. Who cried excitedly. “I just found out that I'm the keynote speaker at the Italian Sausage Convention! Isn't that smashing?!” Just as Wendy was about to respond, the rest of the group came racing up, splashing mud and swamp moss everywhere. A glob of smudge hit Professor Snape directly in the face, and he began muttering expletives and stomping his feet, wiping the slop into his hair as though it were pomade.
The Energizer Bunny was first to speak. “Everyone, we are in crisis. Sirius Black was using his magical water boarding technique again, and received a disturbing bit of intelligence.” Firestorm gasped, and Zombie Rob Bartlett stood there in shock, his mouth gaping.
“Well, the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree, there are too many irons in the fire, and we're running on empty.” Darkwing Duck offered. Good Luck Bear slapped him in the wing and shook his head at him while Veronica Mars and Diego with Baby Jaguar looked on, wearing concerned expressions, and also water buffalo costumes.
Ancient Sith Lord #14 sighed. “Please continue, you pink thing in sunglasses.”
The bunny took a deep breath and continued. “It has come to our attention, that what we seek is also being hunted by our enemies, the Dope Fiends. We must act. Everyone, get into the mail delivery truck, stat!!”
The group piled in, except for Sirius Black, who insisted on being strapped to the top with bungee cords and an impossibly long strand of dental floss. They drove for 18 hours without stopping, Dr. Who complaining the entire time in his British accent about how they should have taken his magnificent time machine.
When they arrived at their destination, they were dismayed to find that their opponents were already scouting the place out, and so were the cops. Someone must have called in an anonymous tip.
Darkwing Duck quacked in irritation. “I always say to never put all your eggs in one basket!!”
“Oh NO!” screeched Firestorm. “Those cops are going to find this bag full of dimes I've got stashed! That's ALL of my change! Crap crap crap crap crap cra-”
“Silence!” bellowed the Energizer Bunny. “We are not prepared for battle, it is best that we retreat.”
But it was too late for that. Galadriel and Proteus had begun firing at them with their potato guns. Black Alice and the Stranger were descending on them from above, swinging down from the trees on enormous vines.
Snape ripped Sirius loose from his cords, and they both drew their wands. The rest sprang out of the jeep to lead their enemies into the field, all but Dave Thomas, Founder of Wendy's, who began to work furiously in the back seat, flinging mail bags and weekly circulars aside, except for a Kentucky Fried Chicken coupon-that he shoved into his mansierre. He glanced out the window, the first bubble of fear rising in his stomach. In the distance, he could see that only Snape and Sirius were still fighting, although it wasn't looking good for them either. The others were down and seriously injured, even Wendy, and Dave knew that if he didn't act fast there would be no one to run his burger joints.
Dave used an entire family-sized bottle of Drano, pouring it in equal amounts into empty pop bottles. Snape and Sirius were wounded now too, and Dave suddenly heard four sets of footsteps on top of the jeep. They had come for him. His hands shaking, he stuffed each pop bottle with aluminum foil, feeling eternally grateful that Amazon sold Drano Bomb kits. They really did sell everything! He closed up the bottles, and slipped stealthily out the side door, which opened onto a patch of extremely thick foliage. He crawled through, then ran like he'd never run before. He didn't feel the rumble of the explosion until he tripped and found himself face down on the mossy earth. The mud created a suction, and he had to use his trusty shoehorn to pry his face out of the sludge. He scrambled back up just in time to see Black Alice rolling over in over on the ground, blanketed in flames. Galadriel, the Stranger, and Proteus were already dead, lying supine on the ground amidst the remains of the mail jeep. As Black Alice lost the struggle, a stray letter floated downward on the wind, then landed atop her corpse.
Dave watched his friends get up to cautiously survey the scene and smiled to himself. He had finally saved the day. And now he even could afford to buy everyone a bucket of chicken.
BUILT FORD TOUGH IS VICTORIOUS!!
Meanwhile.....
Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's, alongside Wendy in a mail delivery jeep, cackled uproariously as he gazed upon the items he had just received from his Amazon.com order. Soon, victory would be his, and everyone would finally stop referring to him as “that washed up burger hack whose daughter always rides around in a mail delivery truck even though she's never worked for the postal service.” As Dave was using his teeth to pop the bubble wrap that surrounded his wares, Dr. Who came up behind him, yammering on his cell phone about his fabulous time machine. Dave rolled his eyes but plastered a friendly smile on his face as Dr. Who hung up up with his caller.
“Wendy!” Dr. Who cried excitedly. “I just found out that I'm the keynote speaker at the Italian Sausage Convention! Isn't that smashing?!” Just as Wendy was about to respond, the rest of the group came racing up, splashing mud and swamp moss everywhere. A glob of smudge hit Professor Snape directly in the face, and he began muttering expletives and stomping his feet, wiping the slop into his hair as though it were pomade.
The Energizer Bunny was first to speak. “Everyone, we are in crisis. Sirius Black was using his magical water boarding technique again, and received a disturbing bit of intelligence.” Firestorm gasped, and Zombie Rob Bartlett stood there in shock, his mouth gaping.
“Well, the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree, there are too many irons in the fire, and we're running on empty.” Darkwing Duck offered. Good Luck Bear slapped him in the wing and shook his head at him while Veronica Mars and Diego with Baby Jaguar looked on, wearing concerned expressions, and also water buffalo costumes.
Ancient Sith Lord #14 sighed. “Please continue, you pink thing in sunglasses.”
The bunny took a deep breath and continued. “It has come to our attention, that what we seek is also being hunted by our enemies, the Dope Fiends. We must act. Everyone, get into the mail delivery truck, stat!!”
The group piled in, except for Sirius Black, who insisted on being strapped to the top with bungee cords and an impossibly long strand of dental floss. They drove for 18 hours without stopping, Dr. Who complaining the entire time in his British accent about how they should have taken his magnificent time machine.
When they arrived at their destination, they were dismayed to find that their opponents were already scouting the place out, and so were the cops. Someone must have called in an anonymous tip.
Darkwing Duck quacked in irritation. “I always say to never put all your eggs in one basket!!”
“Oh NO!” screeched Firestorm. “Those cops are going to find this bag full of dimes I've got stashed! That's ALL of my change! Crap crap crap crap crap cra-”
“Silence!” bellowed the Energizer Bunny. “We are not prepared for battle, it is best that we retreat.”
But it was too late for that. Galadriel and Proteus had begun firing at them with their potato guns. Black Alice and the Stranger were descending on them from above, swinging down from the trees on enormous vines.
Snape ripped Sirius loose from his cords, and they both drew their wands. The rest sprang out of the jeep to lead their enemies into the field, all but Dave Thomas, Founder of Wendy's, who began to work furiously in the back seat, flinging mail bags and weekly circulars aside, except for a Kentucky Fried Chicken coupon-that he shoved into his mansierre. He glanced out the window, the first bubble of fear rising in his stomach. In the distance, he could see that only Snape and Sirius were still fighting, although it wasn't looking good for them either. The others were down and seriously injured, even Wendy, and Dave knew that if he didn't act fast there would be no one to run his burger joints.
Dave used an entire family-sized bottle of Drano, pouring it in equal amounts into empty pop bottles. Snape and Sirius were wounded now too, and Dave suddenly heard four sets of footsteps on top of the jeep. They had come for him. His hands shaking, he stuffed each pop bottle with aluminum foil, feeling eternally grateful that Amazon sold Drano Bomb kits. They really did sell everything! He closed up the bottles, and slipped stealthily out the side door, which opened onto a patch of extremely thick foliage. He crawled through, then ran like he'd never run before. He didn't feel the rumble of the explosion until he tripped and found himself face down on the mossy earth. The mud created a suction, and he had to use his trusty shoehorn to pry his face out of the sludge. He scrambled back up just in time to see Black Alice rolling over in over on the ground, blanketed in flames. Galadriel, the Stranger, and Proteus were already dead, lying supine on the ground amidst the remains of the mail jeep. As Black Alice lost the struggle, a stray letter floated downward on the wind, then landed atop her corpse.
Dave watched his friends get up to cautiously survey the scene and smiled to himself. He had finally saved the day. And now he even could afford to buy everyone a bucket of chicken.
BUILT FORD TOUGH IS VICTORIOUS!!
The Horsemen vs Team SP
The Horsemen of the Apocalypse are: Swamp Thing, Hal Jordan/Parallax w/2 Green Lantern rings, Sinestro's Yellow Lantern ring & a Red Lantern ring, Black Lantern Original (Green Lantern) Sinestro, Star Sapphire #1, Scar, the Evil Guardian of the Universe, and Ryan Poteracki w/Laser Sword, Laser Gun, Mithril Vest & Pokeball
Team Sleeping Pussy are: Kazar and Zabu, Thunderbird, Den, Black Lantern Leeloo, Banshee, Spider-Woman and the Team of Speed Buggy, Tinker, Mark and Debbie
"Hurry up, get a move on. They're just over this pass" says Ryan Poteracki "Let's make this quick"
"What's the hurry, sir?" asks Star Sapphire #1 "What's so pressing?"
"It's this match." replies the owner of the Horsemen "I don't trust the Watcher to possibly screw me over just to move himself up in the division. F*****g expansion teams. Now get serious. I underestimated Team Sleeping Pussy once in the first season, and I won't be making that mistake again."
"Don't you think you're..." starts Star Sapphire when she's interrupted by Swamp Thing
"There's a few ahead." Swampy says, his arms merged with the swampy murk of Dagobah "I sense the pollutants of an automobile with it's occupants, and a man and his tiger are trying to conceal themselves deep in the woods, but I know the exact location."
"Ok, ok. What about the others?" asks Ryan as he gets out his pokeball and considers his next move. "Where's the heavier hitters?"
"I am not sure" answers Swampy "they may be in the air above us"
"Lantern based Horsemen. Find the flying pussies, and execute with extreme prejudice" Ryan quietly says. "Scar, you're with me. Swampy. Stay here and keep your eyes..."
suddenly a giant plasma blast streaks by Ryan's head and slams into Swamp Thing's chest, instantly igniting him.
"F**k!!!! I knew he'd try and screw me. Swamp Thing out already? B***h!!" the enraged Poteracki screams out as the Horsemen scatter. "New plan. Kill all of them"
"With pleasure" smiles Black Lantern Sinestro, who immediately spots Swampy's executioner-Thunderbird. There's a brief clash, but Thunderbird is just unable to overtake the regenerative powers of a black lantern ring, and his heart is eventually torn out of his chest.
The Speedy Buggy team comes roaring onto the scene and are bee lining for the evil Guardian Scar. Scar smiles, and with a flick of her wrists flips Speed Buggy causing Mark and Debby to fly out of the car where they smash into a huge tree and are killed. Tinker survives the attack, since he was wisely wearing his seat belt. As Scar is about to put an end to Speedy and Tinker, a spear flies out of the trees-piercing Scar's shoulder. It seems the Speed Buggy crew were all a distraction, as Kazaar and Zabu jump onto Scar and proceed to finally kill the evil Oan, but it's not the smartest move, as the death of Scar results in a gigantic explosion of Oan energy which turns Kazaar, Zabu, Tiner and Speed Buggy to ash.
"Really?" screams Ryan as he fires his laser gun at Den "F*****g Scar is killed by Kazaar? What the f**k?" he finally strikes Den in his giant...leg, sending Den to the ground. Ryan swings his laser sword in a mighty arc, and manages to circumcise Den. The second swing is more successful and Den is decapitated.
"Must we kill? Can we not just subdue?" asks Star Sapphire, when out of nowhere BL Leeloo's hand explodes through her chest and kills her. As Leeloo is about to attack again, she's destroyed by Parallax who's effectively a one man black lantern eradication machine, due to his ridiculous amount of rings.
Parallax scans the area for more victims, when he's suddenly knocked out of the sky the the sonic scream of Banshee. As Parallax hits the ground, he's struck by massive amounts of venom blasts from Spider-Woman. The duo keep pouring on the power, until Parallax finally falls to their might.
"Are. You. KIDDING??!" scream Ryan? "How the hell does..f*****ng Seeney. This is some bull" all of a sudden there's a blinding red light and out of nowhere a voice booms
"Ryan Poteracki of earth. Your heart is full of rage, welcome to the red lantern corps." and the red lantern ring of the fallen Parallax flies onto Ryan's finger and instantly, he's overflowing with the might of a red lantern. He instantly targets Banshee, who he's always secretly though was a stupid character, and sets him a blaze. With Banshee's sonics down, Black Lantern Sinestro is no longer forced to just watch from the sidelines. He zooms in and makes short work of Spider-Woman.
"The championship is MMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE!!!!" screams the victorious owner of the Horsemen, as he stands on the battlefield, once again victorious.
Team Sleeping Pussy: All Dead
The Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Ryan Poteracki and Black Lantern original (Green Lantern) Sinestro survive.
THE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE ARE VICTORIOUS!!!!
Team Sleeping Pussy are: Kazar and Zabu, Thunderbird, Den, Black Lantern Leeloo, Banshee, Spider-Woman and the Team of Speed Buggy, Tinker, Mark and Debbie
"Hurry up, get a move on. They're just over this pass" says Ryan Poteracki "Let's make this quick"
"What's the hurry, sir?" asks Star Sapphire #1 "What's so pressing?"
"It's this match." replies the owner of the Horsemen "I don't trust the Watcher to possibly screw me over just to move himself up in the division. F*****g expansion teams. Now get serious. I underestimated Team Sleeping Pussy once in the first season, and I won't be making that mistake again."
"Don't you think you're..." starts Star Sapphire when she's interrupted by Swamp Thing
"There's a few ahead." Swampy says, his arms merged with the swampy murk of Dagobah "I sense the pollutants of an automobile with it's occupants, and a man and his tiger are trying to conceal themselves deep in the woods, but I know the exact location."
"Ok, ok. What about the others?" asks Ryan as he gets out his pokeball and considers his next move. "Where's the heavier hitters?"
"I am not sure" answers Swampy "they may be in the air above us"
"Lantern based Horsemen. Find the flying pussies, and execute with extreme prejudice" Ryan quietly says. "Scar, you're with me. Swampy. Stay here and keep your eyes..."
suddenly a giant plasma blast streaks by Ryan's head and slams into Swamp Thing's chest, instantly igniting him.
"F**k!!!! I knew he'd try and screw me. Swamp Thing out already? B***h!!" the enraged Poteracki screams out as the Horsemen scatter. "New plan. Kill all of them"
"With pleasure" smiles Black Lantern Sinestro, who immediately spots Swampy's executioner-Thunderbird. There's a brief clash, but Thunderbird is just unable to overtake the regenerative powers of a black lantern ring, and his heart is eventually torn out of his chest.
The Speedy Buggy team comes roaring onto the scene and are bee lining for the evil Guardian Scar. Scar smiles, and with a flick of her wrists flips Speed Buggy causing Mark and Debby to fly out of the car where they smash into a huge tree and are killed. Tinker survives the attack, since he was wisely wearing his seat belt. As Scar is about to put an end to Speedy and Tinker, a spear flies out of the trees-piercing Scar's shoulder. It seems the Speed Buggy crew were all a distraction, as Kazaar and Zabu jump onto Scar and proceed to finally kill the evil Oan, but it's not the smartest move, as the death of Scar results in a gigantic explosion of Oan energy which turns Kazaar, Zabu, Tiner and Speed Buggy to ash.
"Really?" screams Ryan as he fires his laser gun at Den "F*****g Scar is killed by Kazaar? What the f**k?" he finally strikes Den in his giant...leg, sending Den to the ground. Ryan swings his laser sword in a mighty arc, and manages to circumcise Den. The second swing is more successful and Den is decapitated.
"Must we kill? Can we not just subdue?" asks Star Sapphire, when out of nowhere BL Leeloo's hand explodes through her chest and kills her. As Leeloo is about to attack again, she's destroyed by Parallax who's effectively a one man black lantern eradication machine, due to his ridiculous amount of rings.
Parallax scans the area for more victims, when he's suddenly knocked out of the sky the the sonic scream of Banshee. As Parallax hits the ground, he's struck by massive amounts of venom blasts from Spider-Woman. The duo keep pouring on the power, until Parallax finally falls to their might.
"Are. You. KIDDING??!" scream Ryan? "How the hell does..f*****ng Seeney. This is some bull" all of a sudden there's a blinding red light and out of nowhere a voice booms
"Ryan Poteracki of earth. Your heart is full of rage, welcome to the red lantern corps." and the red lantern ring of the fallen Parallax flies onto Ryan's finger and instantly, he's overflowing with the might of a red lantern. He instantly targets Banshee, who he's always secretly though was a stupid character, and sets him a blaze. With Banshee's sonics down, Black Lantern Sinestro is no longer forced to just watch from the sidelines. He zooms in and makes short work of Spider-Woman.
"The championship is MMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE!!!!" screams the victorious owner of the Horsemen, as he stands on the battlefield, once again victorious.
Team Sleeping Pussy: All Dead
The Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Ryan Poteracki and Black Lantern original (Green Lantern) Sinestro survive.
THE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE ARE VICTORIOUS!!!!
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