Washington Football Team: Yoda w/ a Dwarf Ring, Professor Xavier Havok, Namor, X-23, Psylocke, Wolverine, Larfleeze, Omega Supreme, Sinestro w/ the White Lantern Ring, Cable, The Sando Aqua Monster, Chuck Norris w/ Katana, Thundercracker, Buster, Jedi Master #1 in F-15, Bat-Mite, Sodam Yat, John McLane in LandMaster, Storm Shadow w/ Laser Sword, Liu Kang, Toad and Jotaro in the Batmobile, The Leprechaun, Teddy Roosevelt and Wicket and Warrick in a speed boat, Colossus, Asajj Ventress in an X-Wing, Usago Jimbo, Captain Arctrooper, 2 Lieutenant Arc Troopers, Arc Trooper Heavy, 6 Arc Troopers, Sharkticon # 8, Atlantean #10, Allicon #4, Black Lantern #1-2, Yaddle w/ Dwarf Ring, Nemesis Enforcer w/ Sword of Darkness, and Theoden King
Trash Pandas: Gandalf The White, Aquaman, Emperor Palpatine (In Emperor's Shuttle), Star Lord, Gamora, Drax, Groot, Rocket The Racoon, Nebula, Mantis, Iron Man, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Adam Warlock, War Machine, Paul Maud Dib, Darth Bane, Jean Gray, IceMan, Cyclops, Beast, Archangel, Zaheer, Ghazan, P'Li, Ming-Hua, John Wick, Kirby, Amon, Naruto, Hera Syndulla, Zeb Orellios, Kaanan Jarrus (these 3 in the Ghost), Sabine Wren, Chopper, Ezra Bridger(these 3 in the Phantom), Luminara Unduli, Barris Offee, Loki, Nazgul #8, #8's Fell Beast, Allia Atreides, Peregrin Took, Maximus Meridius, Yoshi, Bill Burr, Bill Cosby
Theoden King and Gandalf the White are the coaches of their respective teams and they’ve gone with different philosophies for this match. Theoden has spread his team out pretty evenly per climate zone of the Playoff Planet, while Gandalf has elected to go with a heavy deployment into the City while leaving the other climate zones to be less equipped.
WATER
Washington: Namor, The Sando Aqua Monster, Teddy Roosevelt and Wicket and Warrick in a Speed Boat, Sharkticon # 8, & Atlantean #10
Trash Pandas: Aquaman, Ming-Hua, Yoshi and Bill Cosby
So we start off with the water portion of this match on a secluded lake with trees surrounding the body of water. Right off the bat, Bill Cosby drowns. Not sure what happened to him, I wasn’t paying attention to him because honestly, Fuck Bill Cosby.
Teddy Roosevelt, Wicket and Warrick are riding in a two motor speed boat, Teddy’s driving the boat. He’s dodging water shots from behind as Ming-Hua is surfing the water trying to take them out. The boat is hit with a blast of water taking one of the motors out. Teddy calls for his furry friends to grab life vests and put them on as he doesn’t think the boat is gonna last longer. All of a sudden there’s no more blasts being shot at the boat. Teddy turns around and sees that the Sando Aqua Monster has poked its head out of the water and ate the water bender.
Yoshi immediately retaliates and shoots an egg at the other motor and puts a hole in the boat. All occupants of the boat drown. The Sharkticon was hungry and decided to eat Yoshi.
All that’s left of the Trash Pandas is Aquaman, it doesn’t look good but he’s undoubtedly going to put in work, he’s the king of the ocean. He rips an arm off from the Sharkticon and stabs it through the chest of the Atlantean and then punches the Sharkticon so hard, it shatters into a million pieces. The Sando Aqua Monster snuck up on Aquaman as he was fighting and was able to swallow him. Aquaman is in the pit of the Monster's stomach getting burnt by its stomach acid. Aquaman stabs through the stomach of the Aqua Monster killing it but before he can heal the burns on his body using the water, Namor stabs through the chest of Aquaman, killing him.
SPACE
Washington: Larfleeze, Sinestro w/ White Lantern Ring, Jedi master #1 in F-15, Sodam Yat, & Asajj Ventress in X-Wing
Trash Pandas: Emperor Palpatine in the Emperor’s Shuttle, Adam Warlock, Naruto, Hera Sendulla, Zeb Orrelios, and Kaanan Jarrus in the Ghost, and Sabine Wren, Chopper, and Ezra Brigadier in Phantom
Onto the surrounding space outside of the Playoff Planet. We begin with Washington’s Jedi master controlled F-15 and Asajj Ventress controlled X-Wing getting in a dope dog fight with the two ships and characters from the Star Wars Rebels series.Asajj & the Jedi master get the beat on the Rebel ships as they are chasing around Ghost and Phantom through the space taking shots at the ships but not able to hit anything. Eventually the F-15 is able to catch a couple stray shots onto the wings of the Ghost, causing it to slow down. Ezra, worried about losing his beloved master Kaanan, turns the Phantom around and flies head onto the F-15 & X-Wing. The Phantom is able to take out the F-15, but isn’t able to take out the X-Wing in time and crashes head-on into the X-Wing, destroying both ships. Ezra was able to save his master and the other occupants of the Ghost from death with his sacrifice. But his sacrifice was short lived as Sinestro immediately retaliates and blows up the Ghost with his White Lantern Ring.
Naruto, using his chakra to produce oxygen for him, Emperor Palpatine in his shuttle, and Adam Warlock try to get revenge on their fallen teammates and put up an impressive offensive attack on the Lantern Ring Holders. Naruto attacks with a flurry of ninja attacks, while Adam Warlock shoots a beam of Cosmic Power and the Emperor's Shuttle shoots multiple laser blasts at the two. Sinestro puts up a shield using his White Lantern Ring protecting the two from the onslaught. Naruto and Adam Warlock keep pushing though, as they go through the shield. Naruto attacks Larfleeze but Larfleeze is able to block his multiple punches but it distracts Larfleeze enough to where Adam Warlock is able to shoot a huge blast of cosmic energy at the orange lantern ring holder. This kills Larfleeze but also kills Naruto as Naruto was still in close proximity to Larfleeze when the blast was shot. During that fight Sinestro takes out the Emperor’s Shuttle with ease with the use of his White Lantern Ring.
Now all that’s left is Sinestro and Adam Warlock. Adam goes to shoot multiple energy blasts at Sinestro but he is able to block and dodge these blasts with ease using his White Lantern Ring. Sinestro counters with an energy blast out of his White Lantern Ring. Adam is hit directly in the chest with the blast and is absorbing it, he then boasts “You made a mistake, I’m just going to absorb this energy from this blast to make me powerful!”. Sinestro replies with a smirk, as Adam Warlock’s smile is now beginning to fade as the energy from the White Lantern Ring is too great. The White Lantern Ring energy was too strong for Adam and blew him up into a million pieces.
DESERT
Washington: Chuck Norris w/ Katana, Allicon #4, Black Lantern #1-2, Yaddle w/ Dwarf Ring, Nemesis Enforcer w/ the Sword of Darkness
Trash Pandas: Paul Maud Dib, Darth Bane, Nazgul #8 w/ Fell Beast, Allia Atriedes, Zaheer, P’Li & Maximus Meridius
In the desert, the Washington Football Team has a transformer in Allicon, which is significantly larger than any other person fighting in this climate. Paul Maud Dib calls for P’Li to attempt to take down the transformer. P’Li takes one shot of his combustion bending and hits the Allicon in the arm, blowing his arm off. Chuck Norris, not realizing how strong P’Li was, calls for the Black Lanterns to go help out the Allicon. They both go to shoot energy blasts with their Lantern Rings, and P’Li is able to dodge both, but one of the blasts still hits the ground below him launching back many yards in the air. The Nazgul goes to help P’Li as he flies in with his Fell Beast picking up lantern #1 with its claws and then throwing the Lantern up in the air, catching the Lantern Ring Bearer in its mouth and chomping down hard as the beast splits the lantern in half. Zaheer comes to help the injured P’Li and hits the Lantern with an awesome combo of air bending and martial arts until Zaheer finally beats up the Lantern enough to be able to snap his neck.
While that was going on the Allicon walked up to P’Li and swallowed the injured combustion bender full then launching a Chris Artrip level burp. But then, light could be seen coming from his mouth as P’Li has used her bending inside the transformer, blowing him up from the inside. This kills both the Allicon and P’Li.
During all that mess Chuck Norris put in absolute work with his Katana, killing Allia Atriedes and Zaheer. Maximus Meridius goes to retaliate against Chuck Norris and they have a sword battle that will be told in legends for centuries. But eventually, Chuck Norris was victorious and sent Maximus to his family.
Darth Bane and Yaddle go at it, showing an insane usage of both the force and their lightsabers, Yaddle was able to hold off Darth Bane longer than expected using her Dwarf Ring. But Darth Bane was victorious, as he was able to stab through the chest of Yaddle with his lightsaber. Something that the Dwarf Ring could not protect Yaddle from.
Nemesis Enforcer, using his flight suit and the Sword of Darkness was able to kill the Nazgul’s Fell Beast and then stabbed the Nazgul through the hood of his cloak using his sword, killing him. Nemesis Enforcer is then immediately killed by Darth Bane.
Paul goes to attack Chuck Norris and Darth Bane charges to help, but Paul calls him off saying “I got this, he’s used too much of his water”. Chuck Norris, visibly tired from this desert heat, tries to defend himself from Paul (who in his Stillsuit has barely lost a drop of water since this battle has started). Paul attacks Chuck Norris with a flurry of attacks from his Crysknife before eventually taking down the legendary Chuck Norris.
Paul Maud Dib and Darth Bane will join their teammates in the city.
FOREST
Washington: Havok, X-23, Wolverine, Cable, John McLane in a Land Master, Storm Shadow w/ Laser Sword, Psylocke and Theoden King
Trash Pandas: Black Widow, Hawkeye, War Machine, Ghazan, Luminara Unduli, Barriss Offee, & Peregrin Took
In the forest, the Washington Football Team has set up a defensive position in the trees while the Trash Pandas are tracking through the forest trying to find them. Eventually the Trash Pandas are walking directly under the trees where Washington is set up. Wolverine looks at every body and does a silent count to three, using his metal claws. When the third claw shows, the team falls from the trees ambushing the Pandas. Wolverine drops, and lands on Black Widow's back with both sets of claws in her. X-23 lands on Ghazan and does the same thing. Psylocke has dropped and stabbed Luminara through the chest with her sword and Cable has dropped on top of War Machine, momentarily knocking him to the ground. John McLane comes storming onto the battlefield and runs over Peregrin Took.
Hawkeye tries to avenge the death of Black Widow by shooting multiple arrows at Wolverine but they are useless and Wolverine swipes Hawkeye across the face with his claws. War Machine gets up, flies into the air and drops a hellfire onto John McLane and his Land Master, blowing it up, this also takes out Storm Shadow as well. While War Machine is up in the air, Havok starts shooting plasma blasts at War Machine before eventually hitting him and taking him out.
Now all that’s left is Barriss but she doesn’t stand a chance as Wolverine and X-23 charge at her and take the padawan out with ease.
CITY
Washington: Yoda w/ Dwarf Ring, Professor Xavier, Omega Supreme, Thundercracker, Buster, Bat-Mite, Liu Kang, Toad in a batmobile w/ Jotaro, The Leprechaun, Colossus, Usago Jimbo, Arc Trooper Squad
Trash Pandas: Gandalf the White, The Guardians of the Galaxy (Star-Lord, Gamora, Drax, Groot, Rocket, Nebula & Mantis), Iron Man, Jean Gray, IceMan, Cyclops, Beast, Archangel, John Wick, Kirby, Amon, Loki, Bill Burr, & Paul Maud Dib & Darth Bane joining them from the Desert
Now onto the final battlefield to decide who is going to the Universe Bowl. It is now night time in the city as all the other battles in the other climate zones had happened during the day.
Paul Atriedes & Darth Bane have joined the Trash Pandas in the city as Gandalf sent Iron Man out to retrieve them both from the desert.
Professor Xavier realizes how outnumbered they are and uses his power of telepathy to call the surviving members of the Washington Football Team to meet just outside of the city.
Gandalf's first plan of action is to have the Guardians of the Galaxy & Iron Man focus on taking out Omega Supreme. The Guardians are all supplied with Jet Packs (except for Groot as he is too big to fit into the Jet Pack) made by Rocket Raccoon. Using their abilities to fly, the Guardians and Iron Man are swarming Omega Supreme like flies hitting him with small blasts, with the goal of killing the transformer with a “1000 cuts”. Iron Man calls for Jarvis to determine where Omega’s weak spots are. This method appears to be working as Omega Supreme looks visibly damaged, he retaliates by swatting his arms and is able to Mantis and send her flying into a building killing her. The Transformer then swipes again and is able to hit Nebula, also sending her into a building, and also killing her. Omega Supreme laughs as he has killed two of the Guardians. While he was being swarmed, he was too busy to realize that Groot was wrapping his tree limbs around the Transformers legs.While Groot was doing that the Arc trooper Squadron is trying to take out Groot but their blasters and explosives do nothing to Groot as his Tree Trunks are too strung. Groot pulls his tree limbs tight on the legs of Omega just as he laughs, causing the Transformer to fall like an AT-AT in the Hoth Battle. Omega falls face first onto the Arc Trooper Squad, killing all of them, Jarvis calls out that he has found Omega’s weak spots and Iron Man launches rockets into all of the Transformers weak spots blowing him up.
The rest of the Trash Pandas then put in work, the X-Men work together to take out Thundercracker, Buster, Bat-Mite, The Leprechaun, & Usago Jimbo as they were ironically taught by their Professor Xavier. In their triumphant team work, the X-Men do lose Archangel and Cyclops unfortunately.
As the Washington Football Team is getting absolutely thrashed in the city by the Trash Pandas, the surviving members from the other climate zones meet outside the city. Theoden rides in and gets a headcount from his team.
Namor calls out to Theoden “I bring one from Water sir.”
Sinestro yells “One from Space sir.”
Wolverine shouts “We had six survive in the Forest General”
Theoden responds “Where are the Riders from the Desert?
Wolverine answers “None have come, my lord.”
Theoden gets off his horse and goes to talk to Wolverine privately. Theoden says in a voice of despair “8 riders, less than half for what I’d hoped for.” Wolverine responds “8 riders will not be enough to take out the Pandas in the city, but it might be enough to help out who’s left in the city.” Theoden says with a more upbeat manner “More will come.” Wolverine replies with “Every hour hastens the defeat in the great city.” Theoden decides to call the men into formation to charge into the city.
Back in the city…
Colossus goes into a rampage himself as he is able to take out Bill Burr, Kirby, John Wick and Amon. Amon had underestimated Colossus thinking he was able to blood bend the mutant but he was unsuccessful as Colossus metal skin blocked out Amon’s bending abilities.
As there is not many left of the Washington Football Team, they huddle up and are surrounded by the rest of the Trash Pandas. Just as the Pandas are about to attack, the Horn of Rohan is heard. Gandalf calls for the X-Men, Loki, Paul, & Darth Bane to stay and fight Washington while the rest of the Trash Pandas go and investigate and see what that horn is for.
They see Theoden and his squad in battle formation in the fields outside the city, with the sun rising behind them.
Theoden and his squad see how much of the Trash Pandas are left and give a worried but ready sigh as they are ready to die to help get this team to the Universe Bowl.
Gandalf gets the Trash Pandas to form ranks to prepare for battle.
Theoden calls to his legion “Arise, arise, Riders of Theoden! Souls shall be shaken, bones shall be splintered, a sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises! Ride now! Ride now! Ride! Ride for ruin and the world’s ending!... Death!” The legion responds “Death!” Theoden repeats himself “Death!” and the legion again screams “Death!” Tehoden yells one more time “Death!” And for the third time his squadron responds with all their heart “Death!” Theoden Yells with everything he has “Forth Eorlingas!” and blows his horn to begin his charge.
The Trash Pandas look visibly shaking as they have never seen a group of Fantasy Fantasy League warriors so willingly be able to sacrifice their life for their team. Gandalf can see how shaken his team is and calls all of his warriors with range weapons to attack the charging squadron.
Theoden and his squad are charging fast, Cable is taken out with a missile from Iron Man and Star-Lord is able to take out Havok. But Theoden and his legion does not slow down and attack the Trash Pandas with all their might. Immediately taking out Drax, Gamora & Star-Lord. Rocket was on Groot’s shoulder during the charge and was able to survive the initial blow. Groot stabs X-23 through her stomach and expands it as large as possible until her whole torso is just disconnected from her legs. Then Rocket hits her upper half with a rocket launcher, killing the mutant.
Theoden had charged directly at Gandalf knowing he would die but hoping it would allow him to die with honor, allowing him to be of the same honor as his father and grandfather before. Gandalf took out Theoden swiftly and painlessly knowing that’s what Theoden would have wanted.
Iron Man was able to take out Psylocke with missiles as well but Namor had immediately responded by throwing Iron Man into the nearby pond and forcibly drowned him to death.
Back in the City…
Professor Xavier is able to use his powers to slow down the X-Men enough to allow Yoda and Colossus to take out Jean Gray, IceMan and Beast. But while Professor X was doing this Loki walked behind the Professor and stabbed him in the back.
Paul and Darth Bane work together to take out Liu Kang and the Batmobile. Colossus retaliates by grabbing Paul and ripping his body in half but while he’s doing this Darth Bane stabs Colossus in his chest directly through his metal skin.
Yoda sensed through the force when Yaddle had died, and knew it was Bane. he got his revenge on Bane swiftly by cutting his head off.
Yoda then very easily kills Loki as well with his lightsaber.
Back to the outskirts of the city…
Groot & Rocket are also able to take out Namor in the same manner they took out X-23.
Wolverine, absolutely enraged, attacks Groot and Rocket with a fury they’ve never seen before. While that is happening Sinestro and Gandalf go at it. Sinestro hits Gandalf with multiple blasts but Gandalf is able to block all of them using his magic powers. Gandalf calls to the sky and brings a blast of lightning onto his sword empowering it and retaliates onto Sinestro. Sinestro tries to block attacks from the sword but the sword is cutting right through every shield he makes. Eventually Gandalf shoots Sinestro with a ball of fire that Sinestro blocks but Gandalf uses that ball of fire to get closer to Sinestro and is able to slash the Lantern bearer across the face with his sword, killing him.
Wolverine is eventually able to kill Groot and Rocket as his rage had no limit and he was eventually able to overpower them.
Gandalf sees the enraged Wolverine and calls down a lightning bolt onto Wolverine strong enough to burn him to an absolute crisp as the current from the bolt was able to travel through the adamantium that had encased his bones.
Now all that’s left in this battle is Gandalf and Yoda.
Yoda and Gandalf fight but the fight is short lived. Gandalf was exhausted from his battle and Yoda was able to take him out quite quickly.
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