Crack Danks vs House Elves: Coming to a theater near you 2023

 House Elves- Gandalf the Grey*, Mr. Spock, Mike Tyson, Ron Weasely, Shredder*, Luke Skywalker, Sandworm #10-18, Vampire Sandworm, Zombie Sandworm, Zombie Sea Worm, Frenzy, Buzzsaw*, Ratbat, Glit, Enemy, Wild Men #1-10, #3's Mordor Horse, Captain Kirk, Captain Picard, Omnius*, Ajax*, George Washington*, Wizard, Warrior, Valkyrie, Elf, Dobby, Donald Duck, Scrooge McDuck*, Huey*, Louie*, Duey*, Hanibal Lectur, Meneleus, Agamemnon*, Kanga, Roo, Snake Plisken, The Monkguin*, Dark Helmet*, 4-Lom , Zuckuss, Enfys Nest, Captain Panaka, Finn*, Sebulba, Embo, Admiral Piett, Ginaz Swordsmen #1-5, Ancient Ginaz Swordsmen #1-5, Suk Doctor #1-2, Rom, Quark, Wesley Crusher, Commander Ryker, Zulu, Robert Hudson, Arsenal *, Zombie #5-15, Zangief, Ben Franklin, Skimmell, Sagat, Thomas Jefferson, Winston Churchill, Lucca Brazzi, Sonny Carleone, Mangy Mouse*, Kyle Reese, John Conner, The Wampa*, Bob (bobs burgers) with Linda, Tina, Jean, Louise, Teddy, Zaheer*, White Walker #6-10, Dothraki #7-10, Bowser Jr., Janet Reno, Nikola Tesla, Roy Koopa, John Schlade, Romeo

Crack Danks- Godzilla, The Eradicator, The Witch King of Angmar, Mace Windu*, Qui-Gon Jinn*, Dr. Manhattan* w/ White Lantern Ring, Thunderstrike, Taskmaster, Nathan Algreen, Ultra Man, Sasuke, Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, Michelangelo, Sky Lynx, Juggernaut, Mandarin, Red Skull, Tormund Giantsbane, Jorah Mormont, Batwing, Mar-vel, Chuck Norris, The Joker*, Vampire #5, Watchdog #4, Watchdog #5

Desert

It's the desert. We all know what that means…sandworms. God I hate Sandworms and there were a lot of sandworms. So what happened in the desert? Well we have to go all the way back to the morning. The only thing that sucks in the desert, other than sandworms, in the desert is heat, so both teams started the battle as soon as they could. Juggernaut, Watchdogs #4 and #5, Mandarin, and Dr. Manhattan were moving up under heavy fire from Rom, Quark, Wesley Crusher, Commander Ryker, Zulu, Mr. Spock, Captain Kirk and Captain Picard. They became bogged down around a rocky outcrop as sandworms began surfacing. They radioed in for backup and soon something appeared on the horizon. Was it a bird? a plane? No. It was Chuck Fucking Norris in an X-Wing ready to eat some sandworm ass. The first sandworm ate a volley of proton torpedoes and blew into bits. In the commotion 5 Ginaz Swordsmen, 5 Ancient Ginaz Swordsmen, and 2 Suk Doctors pushed over the top of the rocks down on the Crack Danks squad. There was a lot of movement and bloodshed, but after the dust settled there was still the Juggernaut, Mandarin and Dr Manhattan albeit a little sliced up. Chuck had managed to dust another sandworm in the meantime. 

After the first fight, the Crack Danks squad peered over the top and spotted the rest of the House Elves in their position. Juggernaut got bored of standing on the rocks and now that he knew where they were, he took off after them. While he was sprinting towards them the ground began to tremble and before he knew it the Zombie Sandworm had surfaced, swallowing him whole. Juggernaut did not fret though, he realized this one was tattered and seemed to be decomposing. He merely stuck his head down and kept running. Before anyone on the House Elves side realized, Juggernaut leapt through the side of the sandworm. Fortunately this killed the zombie sandworm, Unfortunately he jumped right into another sandworm's gaper. Chuck Norris followed up with two more torpedoes. As he made his exit the Vampire Sandworm leapt from the sand and was gaining on his ship. With no more torpedoes Chuck knew there was not much he could do. He set the ship's reactor to overload. Dr Manhattan looked on as the worm went below the surface, followed by a massive boom. With one Sandworm left and a break in the action, Dr Manhattan deatomized it. The House Elves knew they couldn’t escape this one. They laid an elaborate trap and managed to kill the Mandarin, but Dr. Manhattan was having no shit that day and cleaned up. 

Arctic

Jorah and Tormund immediately began squaring off with the White Walkers. They were saved by Qui-Gonn who made quick work of them. That's when the Wampa jumped out and mauled Jorah. Tormund went berserk and began beating on the Wampa. He was thrown and Qui-Gonn injured the Wampa. Luke sensed his teammates distress and jumped in. Mace stayed his blade to save Qui-Gonn and the Jedi began dueling. Tormund GoT (get it?) back up and was finally on the Wampas back. What ensued was like a Ratatouille-like control situation. The Wampa ran right into 4-Lom, Zuckuss and Finn. The three opened fire and killed Tormond and the Wampa. Luke was in battle with Mace and Qui-Gonn when Dark Helmet jumped into block a blow with his helmet, it was quite the acrobatic feat. The 2v2 now, was now in full swing. Qui-Gonn struck down Dark Helmet and Luke killed Mace. In the end Luke was able to beat Qui-Gonn. Red Skull,  The Eradicator, and Mar-vel had their work cut out for them. They were dealing with Omnius and Ajax. They also had to avoid fire from the rest of the squad. The squad managed this task, killing Omnius, Ajax, Mangy Mouse, Enfys Nest, Finn, 4-Lom, and Zuckuss, but Red Skull was killed and Mar-Vel was injured and gassed, having tanked a hit from Mangy Mouse. Luke, understanding the nature of his situation, chose to meet up with the rest of his squad somewhere else.

Forest

The bulk of the fighting took place in the forest and plains outside the city. I got to be honest, it was total carnage. Many entered the battle and only Gandalf survived. Here were some notable moments. At one point I witnessed the founding fathers go over the top of their trench with 8 flintlock pistols strapped to their chests. They made many new holes in Thunderstrike, which I don’t think he was expecting. When they were out of ammo, Vampire #5 tried to rush them, but all three pulled a pistol from their back waists and sent 3 silver bullets into him. Mike Tyson and Taskmaster got into it and with the speed of the two fighters, it appeared that no movements were being made, until Mike sent Taskmaster back with a mean uppercut. Sky Lynx full sent it like the Challenger to finish off Buzzsaw in a spectacular finish to his existence. Sasuke met his end at the hands of Dobey, the little rat managed to teleport right into Sasuke’s Susanno which he wasn’t expecting and stabbed him 37 times. Dobby really about that hood life in the end. 

Water

The only notable water battle was between Godzilla and a Zombie Sea Worm. Now sea worms are big but, Godzilla Fucks, you know what I mean? So we all know that Godzilla done did a spin move or shot a big laser at the worm. Sumn like that and it died. The end.

City

In the Bob’s Burgers restaurant, the whole family, Teddy, Lucca Brazzi, and Sonny Corleone geared up for battle. They received a call from Shredder who had the turtles on his tail in the Party Wagon. When he went past the restaurant, Lucca, Sonny, Jean and Lousie opened fire on the car with sub machine guns.  Leonardo and Michelangelo were immediately killed in the fire. Raphael and Donatello jumped out of the van and slid away on their shells into a manhole. They surfaced a few streets away when Shredder caught up to them in an alleyway, Batwing dropped down behind him. What happened next was I stood outside the alley and observed comic-like sound effects emanate from it. When it was over, only Batwing emerged. Captain Panaka was across the street and sniped Batwing.

Dr. Manhattan and Gandalf got into an OP character battle. Buildings were felled, carnage was had. In the end they both died at the cost of themselves, knowing it was the only way it would end. The Joker did a sick drift in front of the Bob’s Burgers restaurant and blew it up with a ridiculously large missile mid drift. The last words heard from the wreckage were “and on the day of my daughter's wedding.”

Winston Churchill looked out towards the sea when he noticed Godzilla’s shadow in the water approaching the city. He hopped in the Firespray 31 he had on standby and set about tracking the beast. Now I bet you're asking yourself, how the hell can he fly this thing? Don’t get bogged down in the details, this man was a legend and told me to tell you “Up yours bruv.” 

He fired at the shadows hoping the beast would surface. His hopes were right and the beast stood up and swung at the fighter. After maneuvering he slid up the back of Godzilla, dropping a seismic charge right behind Godzilla’s head. One sick noise later, the beast's body fell back into the water, causing a massive wave to hit the city. 

Mar-Vel, The Eradicator, and the Joker were all that was left on the Crack Danks squad and for the House Elves it was Luke, Captain Panaka, and Winston Churchill. The Joker ran over Captain Panaka which caused his Ducatti to spin out of control and crash. The Eradicator grabbed the Firespray 31 and ran it into the ground killing Churchill in the process. Luke was able to kill Mar-Vel who was still injured from earlier. The Joker fired everything he had at Luke who dodged or deflected everything, and when he fired his last gun, right in Luke’s face, a little flag with “BANG!” written on it emerged. This caught Luke off for just long enough for the Eradicator to beam him with heat vision.

So kids, what did we learn from all this? We learned that the Founding Fathers are badass, Winston Churchill don't take no shit, Sandworms suck, Mike Tyson still has a mean upper cut, Dobby Gangster as fuck, and Sasuke can’t solve all your problems. Oh and yeah, I really suck at keeping deadlines.

Ahsoka's ACrobatic Assassins Vs. The Striders of Rohan

 Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins are Commander Ahsoka Tano (Fulcrum), Capt. Rex, Kingdom Come Superman, General Zod, Ursa, Non, The Monitor, Ranx:  The Sentient City, Tornedron, Poseidon, Avatar Korra (w/ Indigo lantern ring), (Old) Peter Parker, Spider Noir, Penny Parker, Spider Gwen, (Old) Boba Fett, Fennec Shand, Gamorrean Guard #1-2, The Mandalorian, earth 2 Batman, Batman (Dick Grayson), Robin (Damien Wayne), Aragorn:  Son of Arathorn, Frodo Baggins, Magnum P.I., Higgins, T.C., Rick, & Elf #6.

The Striders of Rohan are Grand Master Luke Skywalker (w/ White Lantern Ring), Hella, Knull, Medusa, Karnak, Gorgon, Triton, Lockjaw, Maximus the Mad, The Unspoken, The Eternals:  Sersi, Ikaris, Gilgamesh, Druig, Thena, Ajak, Kingo, Phastos, Mikari, & Sprite, Aquaman, Gothmog the Balrog, Granny Goodness, Bernadeth, Stompa, Gilotina, Mad Harriet, Lashina, Morg (w/ Red lantern ring), Darth Traya (w/ red lantern ring), Daredevil (w/ blue and green lightsabers), Treebeard, Trailbreaker, Elrond, Eomer (w/ green lantern ring), Eowyn (w/ blue lantern ring), Faramir (w/ blue lantern ring), Arwen Evenstar (w/ blue lantern ring), Rick Dalton, Cliff Booth and his Dog, & Nazgul #2.

Precursor to The Great Reboot Part 2

The apocalypse is definitely upon these people now.  Very few deniers remain.   Some call it Ragnarok, some the cataclysm, the Holocaust, or simply the devastation.  Others still blame the populace at large for not recognizing through science the mistreatment of this planet and the neglecting of diseases thought to be minor that plagued this place for decades.  Most recognize it as the end, but still some refuse to see the connection.  This is the third great battle but only the second, but also second to last story of the Great Reboot.  

Although Luke has a small Force remnant memory and The Monitor has none at all, both the White Rings were taken away from them before this match took place as only one of those mighty weapons truly exist (it shall be returned to the personage it was taken from to the winning team only (this shall be a sign of the new ways destined to be)).  

The lands are very much destroyed from the two massive battles that have already taken place; but what remains of terrain is being occupied by appropriate combatants.  

Tornedron and Ranx are ripping apart the atmosphere as the very firamament of the planet become in question just by their massive and powerful presence.  The Eternals, led by Icarus take it upon themselves to put a stop to this incursion of power that they have come to realize will destroy all life if they cannot stop them.  The Eternals become endowed with their maximum power as they move across the skies to meet their two massive opponents.  Equally powerful, yet one made of earth and biology, the other of technology and pure energy.  Druig and Thena are the first to fall from the massive energy blasts of Tornedron who makes short work Kingo and Phastos as well.  Sersi, Gilgamesh, and Sprite combine their powers.  With Sersi at the helm, they are able to rearrange Tornedron on a molecular level and then simply transmute the energy into nothing at all; dissipating his energy across the universe.  Sersi is exhausted by this feat but Sprite and Gilgamesh are unable to even survive it.  The remaining Eternals focus their attention towards Ranx, but a fear energy blast from the city-sized yellow lantern takes out Mikari before the skirmish even begins.  Ajak lays down what may have inadvertantly been a distraction as Sersi hits the Qwardian powered mass with her remaining powers while Ikaris and Ajak rocket through the small planet ripping it apart.  The remaining three Eternals are straight slump in their victory but their suffering is put to an end soon as The Monitor sees the easy pickings and makes short work of them.  

The surrounding setting is making Hella feel very confident that she is here to bring about the end of the world as the old texts predicted; but (Kingdom Come) Superman *(from this point forward in the match, simply known as Superman) actually dispatches the Asgardian with what seems like relative ease.  

Ahsoka and Captain Rex are casually patrolling the what was once an area of a great ocean on the Playoff Planet.  Rising tides and the change of the climate have brought devastation to these lands even before these final battles of the end days.  But a giant tidal wave begins to hit the low flying ship as a shark, seemingly too large for these parts leaps from the water and hits the plane.  The Bi-Plane, now inoperative is still floating as Aquaman leaps from the waters and delivers a spin kick to Ahsoka that would have shattered her ribs had she not had The Force as an ally to protect her.  Rex steps between Aquaman and Ahsoka heroically to defend his friend.  He begins blasting but Aquaman is able to evade his laser attacks.  Aquaman spins back into the attack and sends his trident directly through the armored body of Rex who is still struggling to fight on.  Aquamen applies his superhuman strength to give more pressure to stab through which would prove fatal for Rex, but also give Ahsoka enough time to recover and finish off Aquaman with attacks from her dual lightsabers to his head and chest.  

Knull, the god of the symbiotes in the past, has proven himself to be a bit out of Spider-Man's league from time to time; but he typically must face his spidery mans one on one.  This time Peter Parker, although a bit thick around the middle these days has a little help.  Peter Parker, Spider Noir, Penny Parker, and Spider Gwen all hit him from four different directions in a pre-planned and calculated attack.  Knull chokes out Penny Parker with his extended symbiotic arm, while Old Pete goes at him full force with everything he has got.  Spider Noir gets in some good shots; but Knull manages to get a hold of him and rip him in two.  Peter punches directly through the symbiote armor of Knull and allows the symbiote to take over, sacrificing himself; so Gwen could jump in and finish him off, before Knull can reestablish his connection with the symbiote.  

 Granny Goodness forms up with her Female Furies as she is made aware that General Zod and his followers Ursa and Non are fast approaching.  She has trained Bernadeth, Stompa, Lashina, Gillotina, and Mad Harriet to know the dangers that full born Kryptonians possess.  But sometimes, training is not enough when one is simply out-powered and outclassed.  The fighting prowess of the Female Furies and their boss does not stand up to the raw power of Zod, Ursa, and Non.  

T.C., Rick, Higgins, and Thomas Magnum are cruising through the air in an Ornithopter shooting off Glocks and killing 4 Lokos like they are going out of style (or were ever in style (gross)).  When Rick reaches for the last full one and accidently drops it out of the craft.  The 16 oz. can goes racing to the ground but is stopped when it hits Rick Dalton in the head who was riding shotgun with his homeboy Cliff Booth and his dog in a Ferrari F-40.  Luke Skywalker then zips by the ornithopter in a F-18; but before he can shoot Magnum and his homies down, drunk T.C. gets spooked and crash lands the ornithopter in a nearby rock outcropping.  They pile out before the fires spread and tell him it wasn't a half bad landing for a guy with his B.A.C.  Luke considers circling back around but instead sees a bigger threat.  He ejects from his F-18 and moves towards a trio of former reunited teammates.  Batman, Dick Grayson, and Damien Wayne like the odds of three on one that they are going into, especially against one aging combatant; but once Luke ignites his lightsaber and they see him move, they realize he is not to be trifled with.  The Bat family moves in quickly thinking that a close quarters melee fight is in their benefit; but Luke takes them out one by one in this pitched battle with Damien going down first, followed by Bruce, and then lastly Dick Grayson.  

Poseidon emerges from a small stream coming from a larger river tributary and is confronted by the siblings Eomer and Eowyn.  The two move in together in an attempt to take out the god; but Poseidon manages to dispatch them both.  From there a terrible sound is heard and the earth around him begins to shake.  Poseidon, being the god of earthquakes as well as the god of the sea (and of horses but that isn't really important right now) can sense that this is no tectonic shift causing this quake, but that a great beast must be fast approaching.  At that moment, Gothmog the Balrog emerges from the ground with his fiery sword still sheathed, mace at his back and his black axe and whip of fire already in hands.  Poseidon sends a rush of waves at the beast that could have easily brought down a brick house.  This angers the Lord of the Balrogs and his flames are visibly diminished momentarily before he draws upon his black magic and regenerates them.  Poseidon flings his trident perfectly into the fangs of Gothmog, but it simply clangs off of the massive teeth.  The angered Balrog then delivers his black axe directly into the skull of Poseidon and enjoys watching the aftermath of a god in death.  

Frodo Baggins speaks to his trusted friend Aragorn about the possibility of using the ring of power to end this war once and for all even though he knows of the folly in his question.  His old friend Strider assures the hobbit that that day may come soon enough, but today is not that day.  He also reminds him that should that ring be used it will not only be the battle that is ended; but this whole world they inhabit.  Frodo stays under Aragorn's protection while Aragorn squares off against his own countryman Faramir.  Now....  Faramir bops, but we all know how that fight ended.  

Elrond whoops up on the two Gamorrean Guards who he thinks must be orcs, while Boba Fett, Fennec, and Mando all move against Darth Traya and her three floating lightsabers.  Mando throws down some flame attacks to make the Sith Lord Scatter; but she still sends a pair of lightsabers through Shand's face, whilst simultaneously force choking the life out of Boba.  Mando blasts in with his jetpack and lands a cheap shot on Traya in the back with the Darksaber.  Luke feels conflicted as he feels a disturbance in The Force realizing that this person who died was his teammate, but she was also a Sith Lord.  It matters not as Mando makes a quick running attack at Luke with his Darksaber drawn.  Luke evades the initial attack from the Darksaber and takes out the Mandalorian with a swift, yet casual flick of the lightsaber finding the exact kink he was looking for in the beskar armor.  

Morg teams up with Gothmog to attack Superman; but Morg doesn't last long in the battle.  Gothmog and Supes square off in a breathtakingly brutal battle that we shall return to in a while.  

Another ongoing battle we shall come back to is taking place in the mountainous region of the desert.  Zod, Ursa, and Non are battling with The Inhumans who are being aided by the late arrival Treebeard.  

In what is left of the city, Trailbreaker has transformed into his automobile form and has attempted to run over Ahsoka who leaped into action like the true acrobatic assassin she is.  Ahsoka landed on the roof of the car and ignited her longer white lightsaber; but was thrown off before she could do any damage as Trailbreaker transformed back into his robot form.  The Autobot attempts to blast Ahsoka with some arm mounted lasers; but Ahsoka, now with both lightsabers ignited blocked and deflected the blasts back at him.  These lightsabers did minimal damage to Trailbreaker, but did bounce him back some, giving the one the Rebels called Fulcrum enough time to attack with both lightsabers and destroy his spark.  

Spider Gwen was able to pull the helmet off of Nazgul #2 and choke out the Ring Wraith with her super-powered webs; but the spring of the web as he died and let go of the pressure brought her flinging back onto his Morgul Blade making them join each other in death.  

If the MCU Phase 4 was writing this match, this next battle would take twenty-five minutes because of all of the girl power involved; but they aren't, so Korra fought Arwen.  They are cool and all, but the fight was meh.  Korra won.  

Daredevil sensed the fear of the evil object in Frodo's grasp and he flung his weird cane, grappling thingie at the Hobbit to give him a wicked head injury to kill him (but the ring lives on)....   Aragorn leaps into action after this, causing Daredevil to ignite both of his lightsabers and bust into the best sword fight of the night.  Aragorn and Murdock match attacks and parries for quite some time, before the Dunadan Ranger is able to catch Daredevil off his guard and remove the super hero of his head.  

Cliff Booth delivers a roundhouse kick to Thomas Magnum's chest that sends him flying back several feet, while Cliff's dog viciously attacks T.C.  Higgins and Rick try to get the dog off T.C., but are having no luck, while their buddy Elf #6 begins shooting arrows at Cliff.  Cliff dodges three arrows and then delivers a neck breaking blow to the Elf, before rushing over to help his dog.  Higgins pulls out a revolver and blasts the dog in the back of the head; but is too late to save T.C. from the injuries Cliff's dog has inflicted.  The now infuriated Cliff, runs over and makes quick work of Higgins and Rick, before Magnum is able to compose himself and put a 9mm between Cliff Booth's eyes.  

The Inhumans band together like they are not always capable of and fight fiercely against the four powerful foes before them.  Only Maximus the Mad falls before they are able to defeat the mighty Monitor.  Non manages to rip apart Triton, while Ursa defeats Medusa, and Zod uses the dead carcass of Lockjaw to kill Karnak.  The Unspoken sneaks into the battle catching the brainless Non off guard and uses his powers of geokinesis to manipulate enough cosmic energy to completely dematerialize the Kryptonian; but the retribution of Zod was quick as the General avenged his minion with a huge burst of heat vision to destroy the former Inhuman King.  Ursa managed to take out Gorgon, the sister of her last adversary; but as she turned to the side realized that Zod was caught in the grip of Treebeard.  Having never felt overpowered before, Zod was more impressed and baffled by the fact that Treebeard's grip around his body could not be broken.  Zod attempts to use some heat vision on Treebeard, which definitely could have destroyed the Ent; but before the Kryptonian General can muster enough power, Treebeard had squeezed the life out of him.  

Luke Skywalker and Avatar Korra are leaping around like mad in an attempt to land a killing blow on each other; but neither have yet been successful.  Korra bends some fire in Luke's direction but he merely waives it away, she then takes to the air with a air fueled leap; but is caught in the chest by a flying thrown lightsaber from Luke.  

Aragorn and Magnum compare beards, while Elrond glares at them and is defeated by Ahsoka.  

Gothmog and Superman have battled endlessly and have each delivered dozens of blows that could easily have knocked down skyscrapers.  But eventually it is the Last son of Krypton who is victorious in the battle.  It was primarily his freeze breath and incalculable strength, that even the dark fires of Mordor could not withstand.  

Luke Skywalker and Treebeard fall back to the forest as planned, where they realize that they are the only two Striders of Rohan remaining.  Slowly they hear enemies approaching and decide that this shall be where they make their final stand together.  Superman flies in slowly in the lead, with Ursa to his right, and Ahsoka, Aragorn, and Thomas Magnum behind them.  Superman and Luke make eye contact and simultaneously nod as the remainder of the teams rush towards one another.  Luke moves towards Ursa first and is able to take her out with a swift and perfectly aimed lightsaber shot to the throat; but the rest of the AAA Crew team up to dispatch Treebeard and then converge on Luke to finish the battle.

Striders Vs. Dinomites Playoffs Week 1

 The Striders: Grandmaster Luke Skywalker w/White Lantern Ring, Hela, Treebeard, Knull, Sasuke, Granny Goodness, Bernadeth, Stompa, Gilotina, Mad Hariet, Loshina, The Eternals, Red Lantern Mera, Aquaman, Geralt of Rivia, Morg w/ Red Lantern Ring, Baron Zemo w/ yellow lantern ring, Four Rainbow six ops, Medusa, Karnak, Gorgon, Triton, Crystal, Lockjaw, Maximus the Mad, The Unspoken, Ragnarok, Rick Dalton, Cliff Booth and his dog, Scorpion (marvel version)

The Dinomites: Avatar Aang w/ (Indigo, Blue, Green, Red, Yellow, Star Sapphire, and White Lantern Rings), Dr. Strange w/ Green Lantern Ring, Wong w/ Blue Lantern Ring, Agent Smith, Kingdom Come Aquaman, Hermoine Granger, Iron fist, Power Man, and Jessica Jones, Ahsoka Tano w/ Star Sapphire ring in a tie fighter, Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl, Nazghul #8 on his fell beast, Desaad, The Black Racer, The Shazam family, Big Barda, Dark Dragon, Avatar Roku, Nightwing on his motorcycle, The Red Lotus, Yakkon, and 1 rebel soldier 

Forest Section

The Striders are deep into a multi-year war with the dominant Dinomites.  Whether their polices make any sense is for you to decide because this is probably over a dumb argument between the two Houslanders.  The striders are looking to knock off the Dinomites of the havok they have wrecked on this league, and it all starts with Sasuke and his handpicked team to take the Dinomites out of the playoff Forest.

Sasuke knowingly assembled this team even though it could very well lead to the deaths of majority of the people he chooses.  This needed to be done in order to take down the Tyrannous Dinomites.  He knew to get to the top he would have to go through the Forest before he could get to the top dogs inside of the city walls.  This team was made to track and kill the opposition.  His trackers were Geralt of Rivia, Caveria and Jackal of the Rainbow Six unit, and the BOY Treebeard himself because he is the trees.  For his firepower he brought the Marvel Eternals, Smoke for his poisonous gas of the Rainbow Six unit, Blackbeard also from the Rainbow Six unit because who doesn’t love some raw American soldier power, and he himself will take on a roll of taking out the unit belonging to the Dinomites.  

Sasuke enters the forest with his unit.  Geralt quickly begins to use his powers to see if he can track any monsters that may be near, but he felt nothing.  Although Jackal had picked up footprints on his tracker.  They were small.  Almost the size of a child’s foot.  Sasuke starts to think the Dinomites have stooped to have children slaves work the woods for him as an alert for his troops.  They continue to follow the footsteps while Caveira follows them in a safe distance looking for any ambushes.  They soon find themselves in front of a child. 

They all stopped in confusion, but Cav new it was still an enemy and quickly attacked and jumped on top of the child trying to get the location of her team.  Everyone stood in shock that Cav would jump on top of a child.  Blackbeard instantly yells “Get off of her.”

“She’s still and enemy and can give us the locations.  I’ll slit the throat of a child if it means ending all of this”

These were the last words that Cav ever got to say. 

Cav is thrown of the young child by a field of electro magnetic waves.  Cav was thrown into a tree and was punctured by a branch leaving a hole in her chest killing her instantly.  She sat there with the blood rushing out of her mouth as the child begins to turn into someone else.  It is Darla Dudley of the Shazam family.  The entire team is now ready to fight but Darla isn’t the only one from her side there. 

The rest of the Shazam family appears from the shadows of the Forest.  A powerhouse team of electromagnetic users.  The eternals are quick to respond to form a front line, but it is to late as Blackbeard out of rage began to shoot at the family but was quickly slain as he is just a human soldier.  Smoke quickly made a smoke screen for the front-line poisoning anyone who comes in contact with it.  They quickly retrieve the body of Blackbeard but are not able to get Cav as she is stuck in the tree.  Ajak and Thena are ready to lead the enternals to take the offense in the battle.

Sprite tries to charge ahead of Ajak and Thena to prove her worth because she whines and is annoying but is killed off by Eugene Choi with an electric shock.  This quickly causes a chaos among the enternals and forgets about any plan Thena and Ajak had.  Ikaris is the first to jump into the action to defend sprite.  He quickly flew to Eugene, but he wasn’t quick to make an attack.  He sat and stared into the eyes of someone who killed one of his close comrades. 

“Who are you and why are you working for this Tyrant?’

Before Eugene could give him a response Darla and Pedro Pena made an attack on the open Ikaris.  This attack was not close to being quick enough to hit someone like Ikaris.  His speed and reflexes are unmatched for someone like them.

The speed of Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl on their last legs are though.  Wonder Woman quickly killed the Eternal making Thena and Ajak run to his aid.  They were to late as Ikaris was left with no chance of surviving.  Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl no longer hold back and are quick to kill their opposition. 

*Its time for a strong chick fight*

Wonder Woman quickly glances at the two female eternals ready to fight them and laughs.  Wonder Woman says “They are just weaker versions of us.  This is no use sending them after us Sasuke.  You can hide on that walking tree all you want but you’ll just kill off your own team”

Sasuke gives her no response. As woman opinion was detected and woman opinion was rejected.

Thena begins to use her cosmic powers to form herself a weapon for the fight.  She makes herself a sword for the fight made directly of cosmic energy.  Ajak and Thena then lunge for the young side kick in Wonder Girl.  Caught off guard Wonder Girl is struck by Thena’s sword causing her to bleed.  Wonder Woman responds with a dash to them and knock Ajak’s to the ground and wrapping her whip around Thena’s wrists.  It’s starting to cause a burn on her wrists and tries to cut the whip of Wonder Woman, but her blade is not strong enough and is thrown by the Amazon queen.  Thena is beat but and her regenerative abilities are not able to keep up with this fight.  Wonder Woman stays on the attack throwing herself at Thena, but Thena is able to parry the critical blow with her sword, but it leaves her vulnerable.  Ajak was trying to join the fight again but was occupied with Wonder Girl who began to whoop that ass.  Ajak was not able to keep up with the young wonder girl.   Wonder Girl is able to slay the older eternal by herself.  Although this didn’t mean she would survive much longer.

A thud is heard on the ground, and it knocks a wall of dust into the air.  All that could be seen is nothing but a purple glow. 

The Dust finally settles and what appears before Wonder Girl is the last thing she would ever gaze her eyes upon.  It was Sasuke in a small version of the Susanoo armor.  She quickly made an attack towards Sasuke, but it was worth nothing.  It was quickly deflected off the armor and Sasuke took position to make his attack.  Wonder Woman in the distance began to see what was happening.  She quickly wounded Thena leaving her there in a pool of her own blood begging for her life. Wonder Woman leaped towards Sasuke who was ready for her attack and was prepared to counter and kill her.  They were both stopped by a giant ball of fire. 

Both confused what stopped them they waited for the smoke to settle.  The smoke settles and its Avatar Roku, but to find out how he got here we gotta go back a few minutes.

While that battle went on other chaos was happening close by in this forest.  The Shazzam family was fighting the rest of the Eternals. Phastos and Gilgamesh were able to take out Eugene Choi and Pedro Pena, but were surrounded by the rest of the family waiting to take them out as they were tried from their previous fight.  This left Mary Marvel, Captain Marvel Jr., CC Batson, and Darla to take out Makkari, Kingo and Sersi. 

The remaining Shazzam fam were respectfully outmatched in this situation.  Darla was the first to go as Sersi left not remorse and let her blood curdling screams be heard through the Forest.  Little did she know it brought an alert to her demise. Makkari and Kingo then went after the remaining family. 

It was only CC Batson left to defend themselves against the three Eternals.  This is until they are attacked by balls of fire.  They were caught off guard.  Avatar Roku came to save Batson who was on his last legs.  Roku quickly burned Makkari to a crisp.  Sersi went on the attack but hasn’t seen someone with the power of an Avatar and was out matched by the skilled fire bender.  This caused Kingo to try and make his escape to Sasuke.  Hermoine who was trying to hide started to use her magic to try and stop him but Geralt quickly took the head of the young wizard and ran with Kingo to meet with Sasuke. 

This brings us back to the fight with Sasuke and the others.  The fire is beginning to burn down the forest.  You cannot do that infront of the boy Treebeard.  He quickly become enraged and begins to launch his own attacks at the oppents but is taking damage from the fire himself. Sasuke knows Treebeard is crucial to the team and jumps atop of him and puts his Susanoo on top of him.  Treebeard is now covered in armor and is armed with a sword.  His attacks are creating greats amount of force.  This causes the nearby dam to crack and break.  This causes water to start to flood the forest.  Roku quickly finds CC and tells him to teleport to their Desert base and alert Wong and Dr.Strange on what is happening here.  He quickly vanished as Roku and everyone else is swept away by the strong current which is headed directly towards the city.

 

The in-between

Everyone who was left alive in the forest was washed away by the dam and here is what happened to them.  Treebeard and Sasuke were protected by the Susano and Treebeard is able to keep himself walking on the water with it.  This left Druig, Kingo, Geralt, and the rest of the Rainbow Six team to drown.  That is until they are saved by a fellow member of the team.  Geralt, Druig, and Kingo are saved by Aquaman. 

They are quick to thank the friend of the sea, but he lets them know that they are not alone.  “We aren’t the only one here we gotta try and make it to the city fast”

Before they could even begin to try and ask why they are met by another Aquaman but there was something different about this one.  They were all confused as they thought they were just saved by aquaman.  This was Kingdom Come Aquaman. 

With that Aquaman they saw Wonder Woman and Roku who were also saved, but a portal developed around the unknown Aquaman.  It was Wong and Dr.Strange.

“Come with us lets go!” said Strange

“We can finish these guys right here. No” said Aquaman

“We need you now.  This is an order from a superior.  We have to go now” says Strange as you can see explosions in the desert that’s behind them.

“Fine” agrees the angered Aquaman.

Then they disappeared with the portal

“Where did they go” said Druig

“I have a feeling where they went but there is nothing to do but head towards the city.  Skywalker already has his hands full and needs our help” says the real Aquaman. 

Desert Section

The Dinomites have a base in the Desert a smaller location closer to the city than the water.  The Dinomites have Dr.Strange and Wong leading a small team to upkeep and defend the base from any incoming attacks. The dominance of the Dinomites leaves them no fear in having a small team as it gives them confidence. 

The Striders look to come on the attack of the desert base.  They think they could find some information here that they could use to their advantage in the coming attack of the city.  The Striders are going all in for this attack with some of their strongest team members in Hela and Knull leading them in.  They are joined by Granny Goodness and her team, Scorpion, and Morg. 

Knull wanted to waste no time and start the attack straight away but upon their arrival the Dinomites have already been alearted as they have a pilot in the sky in Ahsoka Tano.  She was able to alert the rest of the Dinomites of their arrival.  The Red Lotus prepared to be the frontline of defense and stepped up to face the Striders but it was a lack of an effort from the Red Lotus squad as Knull started his attack killing the The Red Lotus squad other than Zaheer.  That was until Hela arrived at the front line to finish of the last member of the Avatar group.

Dr.Strange and Wong realise quickly this fight will not go in their favor without any back up because their fire power in the Black Racer is no where to be seen.  Wong runs out to form a shield over the outpost as Ahsoka Tano starts to let fire come down from her TIE fighter. 

“Wong we can’t do this much longer with no help.  There are to many of them, and they don’t look like they are here to talk.”

“I know, we’re” before Wong could even finish his sentence, he was knocked into by someone who just appeared.

It was CC Batson.  He has teleported wounded to the two magic users.  He alearted them and said “We’ve been defeated in the forest.  Roku sent me here to tell you.  There were still some survivors left that we could save there.”

Strange responds with “Can’t you see we don’t have time to save their asses when we are about to lose a battle here.”

“But we could bring them here to help us fight” yells Wong.

Without any other choice and seeing it as the only way to survive this attack Dr.Strange opens up a portal to rescue the other.  They are all coming down a stream of water with Aquaman and run right into the portal. 

This causes water to also come through knocking everyone to the ground.  The numbers are strengthened but CC Batson has bled out as his injuries were to grave to survive.  The Dinomites recognize his sacrifice and intend on finishing the battle for him. 

The Striders have seen what has happened but are unfazed and continue to march forward with their attack, but they were met by an unseen member of the Dinomites team.  It was The Black Racer and he quickly took out Granny Goodness and Mad Harriet.  The rest of the team moves to make a counterattack.  Bernadeth and Stompa go after the Black Racer.  Before they can do that Wonder Woman steps into their way and takes them both out herself. 

This angered Hela as this battle was supposed to be a sweep.  Hela is enraged and is uncontrollable now and kills the legend amazon warrior leaving nothing there but her braces for her arms.  This allows Knull to continue with the attack against the Dinomites.  Knul quickly runs his sword through the throat of Wong who was trying to protect their wounded and dead friends.  Aquaman and Roku try to fend him off with the two of them.

Knull menacingly says “look, it’s a fish out of water” and slays the off brand Aquaman.

Roku tries to hold him back with his fire bending abilities and it is working against him.  The fire seems to be a direct counter.  While distracted by Roku, Knull hasn’t heard the TIE fight of Ahsoka Tano land and meets his end with a light saber through the face leaving him a pool of black blood.

Scorpion and Morg go on the attack with Hela but it is no use as The Black Racer quickly eliminates the two weak characters.  This leaves Hela with Bernadeth, Loshina, and Gilotina.

Hela quickly makes a move for Strange because he is their leader.  She was quick enough to eliminate the distracted Strange who was trying to give information of the battle to their leader.  The Dinomites all jump to attack Hela and it is a success.  Ahsoka was able to slay yet another with her light saber.  Black Racer is able to finish the rest of the Striders left in the Desert. 

The Dinomites are there left wounded from the battle.  They are given a signal to return to the city as it is under attack because of the broken dam.  Ahsoka, Black Racer, and Roku all begin to make their return to the city for yet another battle.  This battle though will decide who will win this war once and for all.

“He better be grateful for this work we’ve been putting in” said Racer.

The City

The Dinomites return to the city to help the rest of their team as the Striders from the forest got a fast track there with the broken dam.  Upon them returning they saw Luke Skywalker slay the final member of the Defenders.  He took the head of Jessica Jones and put in on spike in an effort to declare a war on the Dinomites that has already started.  This is Grand Master.  He do be old and delusional sometime.  This was an already weak Defender team as it was just Iron Fist and Power Man with Jessica Jones.  Daredevil bop to hard to be seen with her weak ass in this match.  On jah

The squad led by Medusa went to attack the leader of the Dinomites in Aang, but they were met by  a surprise.  Aang has acquired a near full spectrum of lantern rings increasing his powers making him essentially a god amongst them.  They knew continuing was going to be a death sentence, but they continued anyways as these tyrants needed to be stopped at any cost. 

“Maybe a miracle in our favor but we won’t know if we run like some Notre Dame bitches” said Karnak.

Karnak and Gorgon make a move to attack Aang.  Aang looked upon them with a fierce look and slaughtered the both of them with little to no effort.  The avatar was out of control and was a forced that couldn’t be stopped.  “You are all feeble characters compared to me.  I control this league and I will continue our reign.”

This was heard by many of the Dinomites who cheer and ignites a spark for them to keep going.  This would take a miracle but they do be saying The Striders GOT THAT DAWG IN EM.

Aang quickly erases the rest of the Medusa led team with ease.  Aang as arrogant as can be sits down on a throne of bodies knowing the Striders will come to him.  He is enemy number one why would he come to them.

While this went on Aquaman had run into Rick Dalton and Cliff Booth trapped into an alley by Black Racer who was planning to do god knows what to those young lads.  Aquaman stepped into the fight to take on Black Racer.

“do you know who I am” said Aquaman

“mmmm don’t care on jah” Black Racer said for the memes

Black Racer quickly moves to Dalton with his scythe and dices him in half.  He instanly looks to Booth who tries to run from the fight.  Racer quickly chases after him but is stopped by Aquaman. 

“Oh do you wanna die next”

Then before Aquaman could even come up with a witty response he was killed.  Racer was too fast for Aquaman who was out of his realm in this fight.  Now all that is left for Racer is to chase down Booth.  Which he does while laughing menacingly.  He cuts off the head of Booth and continues to walk like nothing ever happened.  Just as he turns the corner, he sees nothing like he ever has before.

It was Sasuke and Treebeard with Treebeard with the Susanoo provided by Sauske.  Treebeard now has a large sword never before seen.  Treebeard is on a mission and will not be stopped.  He quickly slashes at Racer who was standing there in awe.  He is still able to dash out of the way with his speed but it is a close call. 

Agent Smith and Nightwing show up to back up Racer but would only slow him down.  They are instantly attacked but Racer is able to save them. 

“You two are not strong enough for this.  You need to find Aang and let him knows what is here”

Before Nightwing could take off on his bike he was smashed to bits by Treebeard.  Treebeard continues the attack going after Agent Smith this time but he was saved again by Black Racer.  Black Racer while trying to save Agent Smith met his end as he was caught by the sword of Treebeard.  His efforts also went to waste cuz Agent Smith got clapped by Treebeard immediately after. 

Instanly a Nazgul on his fell beast comes at Treebeard but it was stopped by someone else.  Sasuke stood there confused until he saw Geralt.  Geralt had been hunting down the monster ever since he arrived and was able to take the opportunity to slaughter the Nazgul and its beast.

In the faint distance Roku and Ahsoka we battling Baron Zemo, Mera and Kingo.  Zemo and Mera didn’t stand a chance as they went up against Roku. Roku uses fire bending to fry the two of them who just stood in fear as they knew they were going to die. 

Kingo tries to hold his own against Ahsoka but the effort is for none.  Ahsoka is able to run her lightsaber into the chest of Kingo and bring it up through his head splitting the top half of his body in half. 

Geralt had been rushing to help the group but showed up as Kingo was split in half.  He charged at Ahsoka with his sword but it was split in half by her lightsaber.  Geralt confused went for his other sword but it was to late.  Ahsoka stabbed Geralt killing him on the spot.

The Treebeard and Sasuke combo has arrived and is ready to kill again.  They quickly begin the attack going after Ahsoka. 

“Run Ahsoka tell Aang” said Roku who starts firebending to form a defense.

As Ahsoka tries to run she is met by Luke Skywalker.  She was stunned to see him here.  Friends before but are now enemies.  Ahsoka draws her lightsaber although questioning it.  That was until Luke took a leap at her to try and kill her.  She was able to defend herself with her own lightsaber.  She knew she was weaker than Luke and tried to call for help, but the help was dead as Treebeard already had killed Roku in their fight.  She tries to run in defense but Treebeard throws his sword to block Ahsoka.  It lands right in front of her and traps her with Luke.  Luke with ease kills Ahsoka.

This was going to be a battle for Aang who has just arrived to the scene.  He left his pile of dead bodies because he got bored and wanted in on the action.  His eyes were lit tf up.  He was ready to fight.  He launches an attack on Treebeard who tries to block it with his sword which he doesn’t have anymore.  It was a direct hit and knocks him and Sasuke to the ground. This knocked Treebeard out of the Susanoo.  Aang follows up with another attack taking down the massive tree.  Sasuke however was able to escape. As he can see every move that Aang is about to make.

Aang also kills Druig who was hiding from the fight in the background as he stays useless.  This left Sasuke and Luke Skywalker to face off against Aang. Every move Aang tries to make, Sasuke can see coming.  So him and Luke devised a plan that could possibly kill Aang.  Luke draws the attention of Aang and Sasuke will attempt to kill him when the opening comes.  Sasuke kept trying to save his team member though everytime there was an opening.

“Sacrifice me.  It needs to be done” said Skywalker.

Luke drew his attention one more time.  Aang so kill hungry left an opening for Sasuke to take his head.  Although he was able to Kill Aang, Luke died while making the distraction.  This sacrifice will never be forgotten on this battlefield as Sasuke promises to tell the tale of how the Striders beat the Dinomites.

Thanks for reading fellas

George Washington's House Elves Vs. The Empire

 George Washington's House Elves are Doctor Octopus, Green Goblin, Mysterio, Sandman, Electro, Vulture, Gandalf the Grey, Harry Potter on a Quiddich broom, Cicada, Red She Hulk, Mr. Spock in F-18, Capt. Rex in F-18, Mike Tyson, Ron Weasaly, Luke Skywalker in his Stealth X-Wing, Sandworm #10-14, Capt. Kirk in F-35, Capt. Picard in F-35, Omnius, Ajax, Dobby, George Washington, The Wampa, Wizard, Warrior, Valkyrie, & Elf, Sirius Black, Bulk & Skull, Alpha, Zordon, Goldar, Fenster, Dick Tracey, Zangief, Meneleus & Agamemnon, Mangy Mouse, Roy Koopa, The Paw Patrol:  Chase, Marshall, Rubble, Zuma, Sky, Rocky, Ryder, Everest, & Tracker in their vehicles, Bob, Linda, Tina, Jean, Louise, & Teddy in Endurance, & John Schlade in his Turbo Deactivated Dodge Daytona.  Extra Stuff:  Milennium Groudy, Ixian Ship, & Chris's Firespray 31, Hammer Bros. Suit, Frog Suit.

The Empire is Polaris, Azula (w/a fire flower), Aqualad, Wendy the Good Witch, Blink, Michael Myers, The Ancient One, Jinx, The Green Goblin, Tybalt (w/ a Force Saber), Jesse Quick, HR, Impulse, Joe West, Vibe, The Rancor, Green Arrow, Samus, Scarecrow, Splinter, Lazarus Long, Firestorm, Kirby, Miss Martian, Orion, Danger Mouse & Penfold in DM's car, Argent, Starfire, Sonic the Hedgehog, Miles "Tails" Prowess, Starman, Jack Baur, Teddy Roosevelt (w/ a flame thrower), Ash, Pikachu, Squirtle, Ryachu, Blastois, & Green Orc #1-8.  Extra Stuff:  2 snow speeders, AT-RT, Dry Bones' Kart, The Arc, Apache Helicopter, Submarine, Mystery Machine, Bi-Plane, Luke's Snow Speeder, Harley Davidson, TIE Bomber, Z-95 Headhunter, Jeep Wrangler, Sky Runner, Red Lantern Ring, Blue Lantern Ring, Star Sapphire, Speed Ring, 4 Glocks, Memory Wiper, 2 Bo staffs, Batarang, & a cape feather.

Precursor to The Great Reboot  Part 1 

Maybe the conspiracy theorists are right, is the headline of the major newspapers and online articles being passed about amongst the people of the Playoff Planet.  Maybe this is the beginning of another Great Reboot.  The talk of their world being nothing but a simulation created with nefarious purpose, the ancient texts spelling out disaster in this very month of this very year, the astrologers, the zealots, the preppers, the historians, the radicals, the nutjobs, and the alternative media spouting fear of the end being near.  The apocalypse.  The looming Reboot that the Normies refuse to believe is on the horizon.  It may just start here.  

 And now here.  Right on cue, two armies of fighters show up to perfectly distract the masses from what the awake know looms on the horizon.  The distraction.  The Roman Circus.  The charade.  The storm before the calm.  

Massive alien craft, unimaginable beasts, men of renown, and creatures either long forgotten or never dreamt of flood every corner of the planet as its populace retreat in an attempt to huddle in the closest dark corner of every available room.    

Let's throw in a little bit of match to even out the sophistry, shall we??  The Wampa ate Pikachu before the The Rancor ate the Wampa, but then the Sandworms ate the Rancor on their way to crashing into the ocean drowning in the sea, creating the water of life whom no person in this match has the proper pranu-bindu training to handle the transformation killing Aqualad, and melting through the submarine which contained Joe West, HR, and Scarecrow.  

 Random protests and fiery, yet mostly peaceful riots about totally unrelated media fueled events, controversies, and cultural struggles are popping up all around the Playoff Planet as the inhabitants of this place are overrun with fear.  So as not to have a battlefield overly wrought with the distractions and collateral damage bodies lined up, a healthy portion of the fighting is being done in the air above the city's skyline and forest trees.  Not that there will not be collateral damage from the subjects of the Playoff Planet like there always is; but at least the combatants will not see as much of it up close as the debris and destruction comes falling from above.  

The large Ixian Ship and The Endurance, along with their armada serve to block out the rays of the sun and provide shade to the city down below, while they become surrounded by The Arc and its accompanying  vehicles in service of The Empire.   Aerial dog fights break out everywhere, Capt. Picard in his F-35 guns down Teddy Roosevelt and Jinx in the Apache Helicopter; but TR survives the fall because he had just merged with the Starman from Super Mario Bros.  Green Arrow and Tybalt in the gunner's chair get some revenge when they blast Picard out of the sky in the Snow Speeder and then follow it up with a second kill by doing the same to Capt. Kirk in his F-35.  Spock and Capt. Rex in their F-18s join the dog fight, but are both taken out by Lazarus Long in his own F-18.  Up on top of a nearby skyscraper, Splinter makes short work of Zordon, Alpha, Bulk, Skull, Goldar, and Fenster with some serious ninja moves making me think that the Power Rangers martial arts skills may actually be a little sus.  Right next to them Miss Martian ran the Gauntlet killing the Wizard, Warrior, Valkyrie, & Elf (see what I did there) on her way to caving in the face of Sirius Black.   Dick Tracey caught a storm of fire from Firestorm who also burnt up Agamemnon, Menelaus, and Zangief but then Red She Hulk and Gandalf showed up to the party and took out Firestorm, Splinter, Miss Martian, as well as Jesse Quick, Vibe, and Impulse who couldn't quite get away from the reach of Gandalf's light of Anor.  Back to the air above, The Empire fighter ships have taken out all of the Omnius crafts that seemed to be endlessly multiplying.  Jack Baur in a Z-95 Headhunter took out the massive flying form of Ajax the Titan Cymek and smacked Harry Potter off his broom and out of the sky with the wing of the ship.  The three remaining Empire Members in this dog fight form up to regroup, but before Green Arrow, Baur, and Lazurus Long can move on to a secondary target Luke Skywalker shows up out of nowhere in his Stealth X-Wing and takes out all three of them Maverick style.  The air fight continues as The Green Goblin starts fighting The Green Goblin on their gliders.  They both knock each other off and become a pair of green goobers on the sidewalk below.  The Ixian Craft which contained Romeo, The Endurance piloted by Bob, Linda, Tina, Jean, Louise, and Teddy; and The Arc containing Orion have all taken such intense damage that they come crashing down into the forest and city alike killing hundreds of innocent bystanders who were out protesting. 

Blink mysteriously killed Mysterio in the blink of an eye.  

Blink's eye was eaten out by The Vulture.

Michael Myers watched the Vulture run around like a vulture with its head cut off after he cut off The Vulture's head. 

Doc Ock did eight surgeries on Michael Myers to fix his problem of not dying.

The Ancient One outlived Doc Ock.  

Now that that is over with, let's head back down to the Forest, which has already been set ablaze from all of the fierce fighting.  Polaris starts using scrap metal from the fallen ships to crush and skewer Sandman, Electro, and Roy Koopa, while Cicada manages to punch through the faces of Argent, Starfire, and Azula with The DC Universe's second hardest punch thanks to the Speed Force.  Ash chooses Squirtle, Ryachu, and Blastois to take out the Paw Patrol crew much like what seems to happen to every little kid once they start to think Pokemon is cool and Paw Patrol "is for kids".  The Pocket Monsters and their boss move to take on Ron Weasaly next and are successful but only at great peril as only Squirtle survives the fight.  Samus' arms ain't long enough to box with Iron Mike Tyson so she shoots him with a wave ray instead.  

Gandalf and The Ancient One have an epic battle that went on for days within another realm that would make for an amazing twenty minute long special effects fest in an action movie; but I don't have time to go all Tolkien on this; so just take my word for it when I say they were both amazing and have earned their rest as they join each other in death.  

Polaris manages to get Cicada caught inside one of the fast moving pieces of metal she is manipulating, but Mangy Mouse caught the piece she threw at him and delivered it back through her chest.  Mangy Mouse then brutally takes out his mouse brethren Danger Mouse and Penfold after catching up to their fast moving little sports car; but the Mighty Mouse villain isn't fast enough to get away from Sonic and Tails who spin attack him into oblivion.  Red She Hulk pounds Wendy the Good Witch into the ground; but is eaten by Kirby who absorbs her powers.  Dobby blasts Kirby with some pretty potent magic before Kirby can take advantage of his new super strength; but Dobby is taken out as well by an ice ray/missile combo from Samus.  Things are looking good for The Empire as they begin to regroup in a non-fiery forest outcropping, until Luke from his X-Wing takes out all eight of their orcs in a strafing run before ejecting with his lightsaber and taking on what's left of the whole team.  A quick lightsaber swipe leaves Tails with no head and a Force Push into a nearby tree leaves Squirtle squashed.  Luke deflects Samus' lasers back at her destroying her space suit as well as her and then tosses his lightsaber directly into the chest of Sonic the Hedgehog.  As Luke uses the Force to bring the saber back to his hand, Teddy Roosevelt comes in quick behind the Jedi, putting him in a strangle hold and stabbing him in the neck with his trusty hunting knife.  

"You think some Rebel is gonna take out The Bull Moose on America's birthday"!!  Teddy yells in defiance.      

Teddy goes sauntering back into town wondering who exactly remains from The House Elves Squad.  He can't imagine that there is any man capable of taking out him or his freedom loving spirit.  Not today.  Not on Independence Day.  

As Teddy walks out onto the city's main road, a Red Dodge Daytona pulls up slowly and comes to a stop in front of him.  Inside the car the driver, John Schlade turns his head to the right to speak to his passenger General George Washington.  Washington speaks first saying:  "Stay in the car.  I'll handle this alone".  

Washington and Roosevelt begin rolling up their sleeves and walking towards one another.  They drop all the weapons out of their belts and get ready to settle this not just like men.  But like Americans.  Washington nods to his opponent, while TR looks him in the eye and says:  "It had to be you....  Happy Independence Day Mr. President".  

They begin to grapple with each other and hold nothing back.  Trading haymakers that would put lesser men down for the count with ease.  Washington puts Roosevelt in a choke hold that he learned from an old British Sergeant in his youth; but Roosevelt counters with a reverse choke hold he learned from one of his Rough Riders in Spain.  You can't even tell these men are gasping for air as they are so focused on the attack.  On the victory.  Neither man with anger in his eyes, just determination.  Pure joy at meeting a worthy opponent who is living up to every iota of his reputation.  It isn't until the end, with neither man unwilling to relent that they both realize that The United States of America hasn't lost two Presidents on July Fourth since John Adams and Thomas Jefferson in 1826.  A shared thought between legends.

John Schlade, the sole survivor of the match gets out of his car ignoring the burning wreckage around him, shedding a single tear, not for the death of these great patriots; but for everything that is dying with it.  

Week 9 Of This Season - Gentle Boiz vs. Strident Gum: The Sitcom

The Gentlemens is Superboy with a Blue Lantern Ring.

The Striddlers are Morg with a Red Lantern Ring, and John Wick with a Yellow Lantern Ring.

There is no cold open; the jaunty melodica intro music plays immediately, setting the campy and light-hearted tone of the match early so you don't get caught off guard.

Superboy is hunched over a desk at his day job. His awkward haircut, nerd glasses, and mustard-color shirt are the trademarks of his secret identity, Small Clark Kent. As he tries to work, a bullet bounces off of him, a mild but startling annoyance. He looks around... where did it come from? He warily turns back to his work. Moments pass, then again, p'ting, a bullet is crushed against his back and it clinks to the floor. Again he searches, no gunman in sight... until he uses his x-ray vision! Ah ha! A giggling John Wick crouches behind the secretary's desk. "I've got you, John, this was your FINAL. PRANK." He shoots a quick and efficient burst of laser beam from his eyes to John's snickering skull. The others in The Office shoot uneasy looks in the direction of the conflict before remembering how little they get paid to be making things like this their problem. The elevator open and Morg from the Warehouse enters. His jaw drops when he sees John's smoking neck-hole where his head one was. "Hoooly SH**, John?!" he looks to the very poorly disguised Superboy and the situation dawns on him. "Small Clark, what the hell man?! I know John was messing with you but that doesn't mean you can melt his head! We were about to go to Jamba Juice and split a free smoothie from his reward card. I don't know his account number! Now I gotta pay for my own damn smoothie!" Superboy glowers and walks up to Morg's face, invading his personal bubble without social awareness. "Morg, he brought a gun to the workplace. Do you know how many ways you can kill a man with a gun?" Morg's face twists with puzzlement. "Like, one? Shoot him?" Superboy quickly raises all but his thumb and pinky. "Three. One, shoot him. Two, hit him over the head. Three, put the barrel in his throat and his gag reflex activates, pulling the gun further in and choking him to death." Superboy cocks his head with a smug smile before turning to return to his desk. "Now if you'll excuse me, some of us are trying to get some work done. This is a workplace, Morg, or do you and your homies in the warehouse not do work down there?" Morg is bewildered. "Dude, what? Aw hell no." Ah he approaches with violent intent, Superboy fumbles around his desk "Where's my stapler?" He rummages through the top drawer, nothing. He opens the bottom drawer... his filing folders have been removed. Jell-O. He pulls the jiggling dessert mold from the drawer to find his stapler encased within. A note sits on the platter. "Your favorite - green kryptonite Jell-O.  -XOXO JOHN ;)" A withering Superboy turns to the camera and does the face.