The Slaves of Apokolips Vs. The Royal Nut-busters

The Slaves of Apokolips are Black Lantern Yoda and George Washington.

The Royal Nut-busters are The Eradicator and Dexter Morgan.

Good day my friends, I Joshatu the Awe-Inspiring (with the help of Heatheratu the Voluptuous) have been gifted with the opportunity to tell the morbid tale of how The Slaves of Apokolips had their nuts royally busted...

“Need a plan of action we do”. Said the Black Lanternized version of the Jedi Master known as Yoda to his ally the noble statesman George Washington. Washington begins to reply: “I indubitably concur Master Jedi; but we must.......”...........

The vision of the two allies goes black; as they are struck by unconsciousness...

...B.L. Yoda and General Washington awaken, and find themselves strapped to surgical tables. Washington's straps are so tight that even his powerful frame cannot budge them. Yoda's binds appear to be constructed of multi-colored beams of energy that touch as he squirms. Burning through his flesh as the different lantern constructs merge powers, creating the only thing capable of killing a black lantern. The two combatants realize that they are stuck in their current predicament, but they are still unsure of the what, where, or why of their position. The room is covered with plastic and pictures of long dead clone troopers, and men in red coats, to justify the use of the code of Harry.

Dexter Morgan slowly enters the room... “it almost takes the fun out of it, when you have an amoral version of Superman, as your henchmen to do all your dirty work and do the kidnapping part for you; but I didn't want to risk anything with the likes of the two of you”. Says Dexter as he moves towards his table of razor sharp tools. Grabbing a traditional scalpel first he takes a blood sample from the cheak of the father of our country first. Wipes the blood of the first president on a microscope slide and then reaches for his specially created green and orange colored glowing scalpel and takes a sample of plasma from the cheak of Black Lantern Yoda. He asks the cosmic-zombified version of The Jedi Council's Senior Member “if he still thought it was right to murder all of those young clone troopers who were “just following orders””? The Black Energized Yoda begins to tell the tale of his righteous existence; but Dexter is not interested. He simply grabs a hold of his decivilized version of Oa Technology and plunges it into the chest of Yoda to kill him. Dexter then wanders back to the table of President Washington and begins to question him as well, when Washington reveals that he has freed his right hand and grabs a hold of Morgan's throat. Dexter takes his scalpel and jabs it into the forearm of The Continental Officer; but despite this manuever and the wild flailing, he is still unable to break the powerful grip of Washington. Washington then grabs a hold of a surgical saw from the table to his left and sticks it deep into the head of Dexter Morgan just before The Eradicator races in to save him. The Eradicator realizes his own failure at not jumping at the chance to save Dexter quicker; but this failure does not slow down his heat vision from frying the man who was number one in the heart's of his countrymen into burnt ash...

The Realhorsmen Rabblerousers of Apokolips vs The Royal Super Orange Kitties

The diminutive Jedi master and half robot half Sith lord are having a furious lightsaber battle as Superman and Green Arrow sit back and watch.

"I can't wait to crush that little green gloryhog." growls Superman "He coulda been a Horseman, but instead he went to the Royal Lowness and blew his chance at a championship. Well, now I have two and he can suck it. I'll crush you real quick and then once he's done with roboMaul his ass is mine."

"Wait. Did you say you'd crush ME real quick?" says Green Arrow incredulously "I could take you if I wanted to"

"Feh. Please. I'm SUPERMAN. I have TWO championship rings. My team DOMINATED this season. You? You're on the kids team and are a Robin Hood knockoff. You suck."

"Um. I hardly suck, sir. Did you ever read 'The Dark Knight Returns', I'm one of the main reasons you go down toward the end."

"With Batman's help you did, and didn't I tear off one of your arms in that story? Yeah, cool story bro." Superman notices that the moment he's been awaiting is almost upon him as Yoda has managed to cut off most of Maul's robotic legs and is about to finish off the first pick of the 2013 draft. He literally blows off Green Arrow with his superbreath and takes off to once more try and crush the beloved Yoda.

Green Arrow brushes himself off and reaches into his quiver, all the while muttering "Sonofabitch. I'll show him. Robin Hood knockoff? Fuggin dick. I have a show on the CW. I'm in video games now. I-" he frantically searches around his quiver, not quite finding the arrow he wanted when Superman yells

"YO! If you're looking for your kryptonite arrow, I had one of Maul's robo-legs  take it from you while I was feeding you a heaping helping of the truth. Told your c-list ass I read "Dark Knight Returns" he smirks as he holds Yoda up by the throat, and prepares to snap his neck. "See you in a sec, nobody"

"Good to know you read the classics" says Queen "But just goes to show you're not totally up on all my trick" as he presses a button on his bow, a secret compartment on his quiver opens with a 'click' he withdraws his "world ending emergency" arrow and takes aim.

"Get in the zone you son of a bitch" he snarls and lets the arrow fly. It hits Superman square in the chest and the mini phantomzone projector tip instantly transports Superman to the phantom zone. Rendering him unable to fight. As he spins off into space, Superman calls out unable to make anyone hear him

"I was on the CW too!!! It's not my fault my show ssssuuuuuuccccckkkkkkeeeeeddddddd."