Consortium: Week 1

The Empire Vs. Charles Barkley's Ragtag Renegades


The Empire is:

-Line One
Batman Jr. (LW)
Superman Jr. (C)
Dick Grayson (RW)

Line Two
Kyle Raynor (LW)
Full Spectrum Kyle Raynor (C)
Flash Gordon (RW)

Line Three
Kid Gladiator (LW)
Capt. Britain (C)
Reverse Flash (RW)

Defensive Pairings
Steel Superman
Earth 2 Batman

Earth 2 Catwoman
Cyber Force Stryker

Bonebreaker
Skull buster

Goaltenders
The Blob (starting)
Black Lantern Colossus

Headcoach
Vlad Putin


Barkley's is:

-Herb Brooks (Coach)
Olaf Kölzig (Goalie)
Shrek-It Ralph (Backup Goalie)
Joe Frazier
Pete Sosa, Dark Jedi
Nature Boy Ric Flair
Nightsister Sith Witch 3-9
Dark Jedi Master 11A and 12A
Dark Jedi Master 35-38


In an unanimous vote of 5 to 0.....

Season 9, Week 1 Match: The Abomitrons vs. Griswold's Nut Busters

“This is the story of a champion,
Rounders in the mob and they pop the guns;
Stand up, stand up! Here he comes.
Tell me what it takes to be number one?
Tell me what it takes to be number one?”

                                                          -Kanye West, “Champion”

I look upon the teams which will play hockey in this Season 9, Week 1 Match located at Consol Energy Center.  They are as follows:

Griswold’s Nut Busters: Coach Dexter Morgan, Bill Brasky, Amazing Orange, Dark Side Adept Kyle Houslander, Dark Side Acolyte Zachary Houslander, Kanye West, Marlon Brando, Jedi Masters #1A-2A, Jedi Knights #34B-36B and Dark Side Marauders #2-8.

The Abomitrons: Temporal and Spatial Recognition Program implemented.

Nutbusters’ Locker Room. . .
The Jedi Masters and Knights are rough housing and verbally sparring with the Dark Side Marauders, including Adept and Acolyte Houslander.  Coach Dexter Morgan steps in the middle of the childish nonsense.

Dexter Morgan:  Save the play for the ice!  I want clean hits. . . causing some blood.

Kanye West:  Hits.  Hits.  Hits.  I’m the guy who throws the fits.  Gonna’ plow down all those little sh#ts!

Dexter:  Enough West!  Go suckle yourself until we play!

A petulant West sits down on the bench in the locker room.  Marlon Brando sits down next to the rap artist.

Brando (mumbles almost incoherently):  You know, Kanye.  We need to give them a game they will never forget. At a time like this, I think of my girl Stella.  STELLA!!!!!!!

The locker room comes to a standstill as Brando’s languished shriek comes to an end.

Bill Brasky:  Let’s do this!

The entire Nut Buster locker room shouts and rushes out of the locker room’s tunnel.  They are met with an explosion of fireworks and confetti.  The team reaches the center line of the rink.  They look around and find the ice empty, but for themselves.

Temporal and Spatial Recognition Program completed—Abomitrons failed to appear.

Dexter:  Gutless. . .

 

 

Ignore this. Josh and I are testing something... Just keep scrolling and deal with it. -Z