The Untouchables are Big Bird
The Right Wing is Nick Houslander
Nick Houslander kicks open the door to the bathroom and see’s a gigantic yellow bird standing by the urinal.
Nick Houslander: “You sure you know what your doing with that thing?”
Big Bird: “Oh, I know exactly what I’m doing with this thing.”
As soon as he says this, he rips the urinal out of the wall and hits Houslander directly in the head with the urine soaked object. Houslander falls to the floor and drops his always-loaded double barrel shotgun. Houslander is woozy as he lies on the floor trying to regain his senses. His hands are blindly reaching across the soaking wet floor when he looks up and see’s Big Bird holding the gun.
Nick Houslander: “Just finish it you yellow sack of s$#%”.
Big Bird: “It’ll be my pleasure you fat f#%@ing loser”.
Big Bird unloads one of the barrels into Houslander’s gut and then jam’s the other barrel into his mouth, turning his head into pile of bloody end trails. Big Bird throws the gun on the floor and walk’s back into the bar; looking for the coldest beer he can get his hands on.
The Right Wing: All Dead.
The Untouchables: Big Bird survives.
The Untouchables are Victorious!!!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Season Three: Week Four: Consolation Match: Better Than All of You vs. TEAM
Better Than All of You is Dave Mustaine
TEAM is Bokken
Dave Mustaine: “Nice backpack you tool”.
Bokken: “You’re hilarious man!”
Dave Mustaine: “No, I’m serious, you look like the ultimate tool with that thing on.”
Bokken: “Yeah, Tool was out when “Train of Consequences” came out.”
Dave Mustaine: “That’s not why I said that, I wasn’t making a pun on the word Tool or anything. I’m saying it because it makes you look like a tool.”
Bokken: “If I’m a tool though, then in a couple years I will become a perfect circle then”.
Dave Mustaine: “Are you f#*!ing kidding me with this s*$%!”
Bokken: “Can you sing to me a little bit?”
Dave Mustaine: “You know what, sure why not”
Dave Mustaine then proceeded to smash Bokken’s head into the urinal while singing a modified version of “Train of Consequences”.
Dave Mustaine: “I’m doing you a favor, as I repeatedly smash your head into this toilet, trust me when I say this, but I don’t even feel sorry…”
TEAM: All dead.
Better Than All of You: Dave Mustaine survived.
Better Then All of You is Victorious!!!
TEAM is Bokken
Dave Mustaine: “Nice backpack you tool”.
Bokken: “You’re hilarious man!”
Dave Mustaine: “No, I’m serious, you look like the ultimate tool with that thing on.”
Bokken: “Yeah, Tool was out when “Train of Consequences” came out.”
Dave Mustaine: “That’s not why I said that, I wasn’t making a pun on the word Tool or anything. I’m saying it because it makes you look like a tool.”
Bokken: “If I’m a tool though, then in a couple years I will become a perfect circle then”.
Dave Mustaine: “Are you f#*!ing kidding me with this s*$%!”
Bokken: “Can you sing to me a little bit?”
Dave Mustaine: “You know what, sure why not”
Dave Mustaine then proceeded to smash Bokken’s head into the urinal while singing a modified version of “Train of Consequences”.
Dave Mustaine: “I’m doing you a favor, as I repeatedly smash your head into this toilet, trust me when I say this, but I don’t even feel sorry…”
TEAM: All dead.
Better Than All of You: Dave Mustaine survived.
Better Then All of You is Victorious!!!
Season Three: Week Four: Consolation Matches: Hayley's Comet's vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade
Hayley’s Comets are Mace Towani (w/laser sword)
Le’ Napoleon Brigade is Scary Spice
Mace Towani stands in the stall of the bathroom and thinks to himself about how disgraceful it is that he is holding a light saber knock off. It is an embarrassment to him as he has seen the real thing before. As he sits there in the stall waiting for his opponent, he wonders whether or not he should even use it. As he is contemplating this decision, the bathroom door opens up and he can hear the very distinct sound of a British woman singing a song he is not familiar with.
Scary Spice: “Stop right now thank you very much, I need somebody with a human touch. Hey you, sitting in the stall, you gotta flush that toilet, make sure you get it all.”
Mace Towani open’s up stall to see who the hell is in the bathroom with him. He sees a tall black woman with a ridiculous looking silver unitard on.
Mace: “Um, hi. What are you doing in the men’s bathroom?”
Scary Spice: “Oh, is this room for men only love?”
Mace: “Well yeah, it is the men’s room after all”.
SS: “Well isn’t that a bit sexist in a way. I mean, what about equality of the sexes and everything?”
Mace: “Did that really ever apply to the bathroom area though? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m with the girl power thing…”
SS: “Yeah, GIRL POWER!!!”
Mace: “Yeah, like I said girl…”
SS: “GIRL POWER!!!”
Mace: “Yeah, that thing you just said, but I’m pretty sure it never really applied to bathrooms. I don’t really think having separate bathrooms is a bad thing.”
SS: “So you agree with the separate but equal laws then?”
Mace: “No, that’s not what I’m saying. All I’m saying is that…”
SS: “Is that because I am a black British woman, I should have to go piss in the sewer’s or something like that. Is that what your saying.”
Mace: “How did you get to that conclusion, I’ve never once mentioned any of those things that you just accused me of.”
SS: “Whatever man, I see how you are.”
Mace: “I am sorry that you think I’m like that but I’m really not.”
SS: “Whatever man, Girl Power.”
Mace: “What?”
SS: “GIRL POWER!!!”
Mace then looked down at his laser sword and all of a sudden decided that it would not be a disgrace to use this on her, but a blessing to the world. He then pulled out his laser sword but before he was able to even turn it on, Scary Spice was able to knock it out of his hand.
SS: “Don’t even try to use that sword on me.”
Mace: “Um okay, well then how about I use this on you.”
Mace tries to take a swing at her, but she blocks his punch and then does a sweep kick on him that sends him crashing to the floor. She then punches a number into her cell phone and begins laughing hysterically at him.
Mace: “What on earth are you laughing about now?”
SS: “2 become 1 baby!”
Mace: “Huh?”
SS: “SpiceForce 5!!!”
Mace: “Please just kill me now.”
SS: “Not a problem love. GIRL POWER!!!”
Scary Spice then walks out of the bathroom and seconds later the room explodes into a ball of fire. Despite the loud noise from the explosion, you could still hear Mel B singing songs for the remainder of the night.
Hayley’s Comets: All Dead.
Le’ Napoleon Brigade: Scary Spice survived.
Le’ Napoleon Brigade is Victorious!!!
Le’ Napoleon Brigade is Scary Spice
Mace Towani stands in the stall of the bathroom and thinks to himself about how disgraceful it is that he is holding a light saber knock off. It is an embarrassment to him as he has seen the real thing before. As he sits there in the stall waiting for his opponent, he wonders whether or not he should even use it. As he is contemplating this decision, the bathroom door opens up and he can hear the very distinct sound of a British woman singing a song he is not familiar with.
Scary Spice: “Stop right now thank you very much, I need somebody with a human touch. Hey you, sitting in the stall, you gotta flush that toilet, make sure you get it all.”
Mace Towani open’s up stall to see who the hell is in the bathroom with him. He sees a tall black woman with a ridiculous looking silver unitard on.
Mace: “Um, hi. What are you doing in the men’s bathroom?”
Scary Spice: “Oh, is this room for men only love?”
Mace: “Well yeah, it is the men’s room after all”.
SS: “Well isn’t that a bit sexist in a way. I mean, what about equality of the sexes and everything?”
Mace: “Did that really ever apply to the bathroom area though? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m with the girl power thing…”
SS: “Yeah, GIRL POWER!!!”
Mace: “Yeah, like I said girl…”
SS: “GIRL POWER!!!”
Mace: “Yeah, that thing you just said, but I’m pretty sure it never really applied to bathrooms. I don’t really think having separate bathrooms is a bad thing.”
SS: “So you agree with the separate but equal laws then?”
Mace: “No, that’s not what I’m saying. All I’m saying is that…”
SS: “Is that because I am a black British woman, I should have to go piss in the sewer’s or something like that. Is that what your saying.”
Mace: “How did you get to that conclusion, I’ve never once mentioned any of those things that you just accused me of.”
SS: “Whatever man, I see how you are.”
Mace: “I am sorry that you think I’m like that but I’m really not.”
SS: “Whatever man, Girl Power.”
Mace: “What?”
SS: “GIRL POWER!!!”
Mace then looked down at his laser sword and all of a sudden decided that it would not be a disgrace to use this on her, but a blessing to the world. He then pulled out his laser sword but before he was able to even turn it on, Scary Spice was able to knock it out of his hand.
SS: “Don’t even try to use that sword on me.”
Mace: “Um okay, well then how about I use this on you.”
Mace tries to take a swing at her, but she blocks his punch and then does a sweep kick on him that sends him crashing to the floor. She then punches a number into her cell phone and begins laughing hysterically at him.
Mace: “What on earth are you laughing about now?”
SS: “2 become 1 baby!”
Mace: “Huh?”
SS: “SpiceForce 5!!!”
Mace: “Please just kill me now.”
SS: “Not a problem love. GIRL POWER!!!”
Scary Spice then walks out of the bathroom and seconds later the room explodes into a ball of fire. Despite the loud noise from the explosion, you could still hear Mel B singing songs for the remainder of the night.
Hayley’s Comets: All Dead.
Le’ Napoleon Brigade: Scary Spice survived.
Le’ Napoleon Brigade is Victorious!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
