Week 7 Democracy: Affirmative Action Popeyes vs Be Gentle Its My Third Time

Popeyes : Mr. Mxyztplk, Tazmanian Devil *4 Death, Destro *4 Death, Gung Ho *4 Death, Shipwreck, General Hawk, Duke, Nemesis Enforcer *4 Death, Lady Jane, The Baroness *4 Death, Head Coach, Mary Embery, Rabbit *4 Death, Piglet *4 Death, Reptile, Kung Lao, Johnny Cage, and Decker

Gentle : The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Kratos w/ Red Lantern ring, Beerus god of destruction, Punisher in a vibranium suit, Muhammid, Killa,  5 Allosaurus, 5 dwarves, Poe and bb8 in a z-95 Headhunter, and Professor X.

S12 W6: Be Gentle it's my Third Time vs TEAM

Be Gentle it’s my Third Time is: Green Goblin, Sandman, Dr.Octupuss, Electro, Mysterio, Vulture, Granny Goodness and the Female Furies: (Granny Goodness, Bernadeth, Stompa, Gillotina, Mad Harriet, Lashina), Terrorcons: (Hun-Gurr, Rippersnapper, Blot, Sinnertwin, Cutthroat, Cindersaur) (all 4 deaths), Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: (Jason (Red Ranger), Billy (Blue), Zack(Black)), Kimberly (pink), Trini (yellow), Nazgul riding a fellbeast (with 4 other fell beast following him), The Cloverfield monster, Zues (with the time stone), 5 warg riders riding 5 wargs, 10 dwarves,

TEAM is: Optimus Prime (w/ The Autobot Matrix of Leadership), Neo, Morg, Nekron, Black Lantern Yoda, Black Lantern Wolverine, Black lantern Non, President John Adams (w/ Airbending Staff), Donald Trump (w/ Airbending Staff), President John Turner (w/ Airbending Staff), Tom Cruise, John Patrick Mason, Mr. Methane, Steven Segal, Leto II, Ms. Marvel, Blur

Who’s ready for another Artifact turd gem? I know, me too.

So the Terrorcons and The Cloverfield Monster were going all crazy animal rage like on TEAM. Like smashing stuff up good. Sandman was there but he was sleeping and Dr.Octopuss was tending to the wounded as any doctor would bound by the hippocratic oath. The trio of one term presidents were keeping the Gentles at bay along with Mr. Methane who was letting out massive farts while the presidents were using their air bending staffs to channel the methane gas in a stunning display of defense. Nekron led the other Black Lanterns on the offensive while John Patrick Mason was touting killer one liners. Real good stuff. I won’t bore you with details but let’s just say the fight did its job in thinning this roster down to a workable level given the fact that the match is already over forty hours late.

Ten minutes later...

“Thanks for coming ladies,” a persuasive Tom Cruise says to the Female Furies who he has off to the side of the match in a makeshift tent. “All I’m asking you to do is hold on to these two devices. These are attached to a machine we call an ‘e-meter’ and what this does is measure the electrodermal activity in your body. It works best when you tell me your deepest darkest secrets so I can use it later to blackmail you. Also, I will need all your money and you need to stop talking to your family and friends because they are suppressive people who will not help you go clear. Do all this and I won't take naked pictures of you and post them at your grandkids school. Does this sound like a heartwarming and loving religion you wish to be a part of?”

Tom Cruise was then taken away on a spaceship by whatever dumb fuck alien race they believe in. Steven Segal and Leto II then show up and have a good old time beating the crap out of the old ladies in the tent. The two sides fought valiantly but the spirit of Janet Reno emerged from her throne in Hell and knocked over a kerosene lamp and burned the entire tent down and everyone died. 

Ms. Marvel has her knee on the neck of the Green Goblin “Chauvin style”. Optimus Prime has his rocket primed and ready to finish off Mr. Osborn. Looks like the end of the road for the Gentles.

Late 1960s, Boston, Massachusetts…

Zeus rings the doorbell to the home of Joe and Marie Danvers. It was early evening, Joe had just got home from work and the family had just sat down to supper. Marie, like a good mid-century wife, did not want to inconvenience her husband so she answered the door. She was taken aback at the sight of the scantily clad God of Thunder. She had not been in the company of a man this breathtaking since her early days working the port as the boys came home from war. She never saw the lightning bolt that killed her, and she was long dead as Zeus casually entered the Danvers home and massacred the entire family.

Back on the field of battle…

Optimus watched in horror as Ms. Marvel proceeded to disappear from existence. The Green Goblin regained himself to throw some of those dumb pumpkin bombs (or whatever it was he carried) at Optimus but the final blow happened moments later as Zeus retuned to present day using the Time Stone. Commanding all the power of Mt. Olympus, Zeus fired his lightning bolt into the All Spark of the last remaining TEAMmember.

Week 6 Southern Air Temple Consortium Match: Spencer and Vaders House of Sith AIDS vs The Kittens of Luna

Kitties: Cicada, Black Flash, Green Goblin (Harry), Blink, Jesse Quick, HR, Impulse, Killer Frost, Joe West, Vibe, Iris West, Mystique, John Constantine, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Samus, Scarecrow, Firestorm, & Argent.

AIDS : Fire lord Ozai, Soka, Suki, Ty lee, Hancock(4 deaths), Daenyrus(4 deaths), Daenyrus Dragon(4 deaths), Naruto, Weapon h, Cosmic Spiderman(4 deaths), Connor Kyle Big Gay, George the albino, The wolf, Lizzy, Chop shop, Venom, Ransack, Barrage, Captain Rex(4 deaths), Pod racer Anakin, General Veers, & 4-9 velociraptor (4 deaths).

A Bippen Battle (Striders of Rohan vs. Affirmative Action Popeyes)

Popeyes: Fastbak, Dr. Light, Cheetah, Namor, Namor's Griffin, Power Man (4 Death), Iron Fist (4 Death), Jessica Jones (4 Death), Sebastian Shaw, Dr. Doom, Reptile, Kung Lao, Johnny Cage, Shang Tsung, Goro, Tigger (4 Death), Eeore (4 Death), Rabbit, Piglet, Bret "The Hitman" Hart (4 Death), Jim "The Anvil" Niedhart (4 Death), Zodack

Striders: Azula w/ Red Lantern Ring, Rage w/ Red Lantern Ring, T-2 (4 deaths), T-3 (4 death), Abeloth, Steppenwolf w/ Yellow Lantern Ring, Winter Soldier w/ Green Lantern Ring, Gothmog the Balrog, 4 Rainbow Six Siege Vanilla Attack Operators, Hellboy, Baron Zemo w/ Yellow Lantern Ring, Moff Gideon w/ Dark Saber, Dark Troopers #1-5, Mandalorian #1-5, Balrog #1a, Agent 47, Mew, Mewtwo 

    

    The Southern Air Temple wasn’t inhabited for many years.  That is until Affirmative Action Popeyes lead by the courageous Tigger decided to post up there.  Although uninhabited the word spread quickly that The Southern Air temple was under new control.  Winter Soldier and the other members of the Striders of Rohan did not take kindly to the news.  The Striders knew what had to be done and that was to whoop some squatter ass. 

The Striders of Rohan although eager to rush to the top of the temple they knew they would have to form a plan.  Even though they be squatting, they also do be boxin out here.  With the strategist that the Striders had a bulletproof plan was imminent.  This strategy was led by the likes of Azula, Ash, and Thermite.  The plan was ready but as taking head count before battle they had noticed Agent 47 missing as he always likes to work alone.  

The plan was set and the Striders ran to the entrance of the temple.  At the entrance they are met by a dead body.  It was none other than Kung Lao, but something was different.  None of the Striders seemed to be able to figure it out, that is until Hellboy lets out a laugh and says “dis boy ain't got no clothes on.”  As they all burst into laughter Reptile comes out of nowhere and dismembers Sledge and Glaz in one combo.  An all out battle ensues.

Gothmog the Balrog lets out a giant screech signaling shit is about to go DAHN.  Mew and Mewtwo quickly enter the temple where they are met by Johnny Cage himself.  Mewtwo instantly hits Johnny Cage with a psystrike and he is badly wounded.  That move wasn't enough as Johnny Cage knows its a last resort and combos up a fatality onto mew ripping the pour mew in half.  As it wasn’t bad enough being ripped in half, he used mew like a puppet.  Mewtwo following the rules of pokemon knew it wasn’t his turn to attack so he could not defend the pour mew.  T-3 and T-2 show up just as this was happening and blow away the wounded Johnny Cage with ease.  Little did they know sitting in the background was Dr.Light.  He was slowly working up an illusion to distract the infiltrating Striders.  He was able to deceive T-2 into thinking Mewtwo and T-3 were his enemies, so as he do he beat them to death with the closest broomstick (not as cool as a john wick pencil kill but pretty impressive).  

All while this is happening on the other side of the temple a fight including hellboy, azula, and rage begins to cause some serious destruction to the building.     They are shocked by the pure speed of Fastbak and Cheetah.  They have nothing else to do besides try to destroy what they cannot see.  This allowed Namor to shove a trident through the backs of rage and hellboy.  Azula filled with rage starts to burn everything in the surrounding area, killing fastback and cheetah as they are burned more than a ginger in the sun.  

Tigger knew his defeat was coming but had one last resort.  He had to send out the big guns and that he did.  “Dr.Doom has entered the chat” Tigger says while laughing maniacally.  Dr.Doom instantly takes down the Rainbow six team who was leading the Dark Troopers into battle.  Abeloth and Steppenwold finally decided to step in and let the children quit playing.  The Bringer of pure chaos vs the bringer of Doom.  Who will win? Find out next week on dragonball z.

*one week later* The fight resumes Dr.Doom gave it all he got, banishing the nearby Moff Gideon as he just wanted another kill on the board because Steppenwolf and Abeloth are too strong for Dr.Doom himself as Tigger did not give him a team to suffice this battle.  Namor and Sebastian Shaw work together to take down Steppenwolf.  Although wielding a lantern ring his power wasn't enough to hold the strength of Shaw and Namor together.  Winter Soldier rushes to aid his fallen comrade but is met by Goro and Shang Tsung.  This turned into an all out side scrolling boxing match where it lasted as long as the Jake Paul vs Askren fight.  Goro emerged victorious leaving nothing but the dead bodies of his enemy and teammate.  Goro, Namor and Shaw are beaten down and have no help.  That is what they think at least.

Iron Fist sitting side by side with Tigger and Kung Lao watching.  Jessica Jones is also there nagging that she is the only female left.  With her powers backed by feminism and whatever the hell she wants to believe in she takes down the 5 mandalorian sent by Striders.  She may have jumped to conclusion to quickly (what a surprise) *haha woman jokes* and is met by Gothmog the Balrog as Balrog throws one quick swipe at her and she is decimated.  Iron fist knew this wasn’t going to end well and ran away to Hell's Kitchen.   

All that sits atop the temple is Tigger and Kung Lao.  Tigger sits there in fear as he sees he made a grave mistake trying to take over the uninhabited temple.  Tigger, about to speak, is met by fiber wire being wrapped around his neck and is taken down.  The striders sit in confusion as to what had happened.  Kung Lao then shows himself tipping his cap.  He then removes his cap revealing the identity of Agent 47 the true master of disguise.  

Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins

 Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are Avatar Aang, General Zod, Ursa, Cyborg Superman (w/ Yellow Lantern Ring), Kalibak, Shazam, Avatar Alex:  The Last Fart Bender (w/ Final Use of Broccoli), Wedge Antilles in his X-Wing, Zaheer, The Shining Force:  Max (w/ The Chaos Breaker, A White Ring, & an Indigo Lantern Ring), Tao, Anri, Alef, Domingo Musashi, Luke, Gort, Zylo (w/ Shower of Cure), Blue (w/ Speed Ring), Tarasu (w/ Glock Model 40), & Jogurt, Red Robin (w/ double Orange Lightsaber), Mas y Menos (w/ Twin Glock 27s), Tom Brady (in The Hulk Buster Iron Man Suit), & 5 Honored Matres.

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins are Avatar Korra, The Sentry, Katara, Desna & Eska, Bolin, The 12 Guardian Knights, The Ancient One, Quicksilver, Indigo One & Monk, El Diablo, Kyle and Zachary Houslander:  Young Jedi Knights in 2 Jedi Starfighters, Uruk Hai #12-15, & Zombie #18-20.

It is a clear day with the winds blowing heavily here at the hallowed ground known as The Air Temple.  In an attempt to gain the high ground, both teams have situated themselves on high mountain tops, traveling ever closer to one another.  The fliers and Air Benders are having little difficulty moving upwards, but some of the other troops on both sides are not faring quite as well.  Personally with people having rosters of two hundred people, why anyone would play a character that isn't from Avatar or that can't fly in this match is a little on the not thought out side; but it is what it do Yugi.

At the highest point of the highest mountain near the Air Temple a battle of the ages is about to begin.  Only two combatants, Aang and Korra stare each other down, knowing that this one on one battle would decide who was truly the greater of the two Avatars.  The pitched battle begins; but we shall revisit that later.  

It is only fitting that the speedsters would be the first to find each other in what is sure to be a fast paced match even for those without super speed.  Mas Y Menos and Quicksilver start doing a bunch of stuff that I can't really see, because they are doing it so fast.  Quicksilver seems to have the superior speed even with the twins tightly gripping each other's hands and in perfect unison.  They begin running directly at one another with both sides proclaiming some sort of battle cry that I do not understand because I don't speak Spanish or Eastern European whatever.  Quicksilver bends into a charging position but the much smaller Mas and Menos go low, tripping the mutant, or Avenger, or Inhuman, or whatever Quicksilver is in Marvel this week, sending him flying off the mountain, plummeting to his doom.  Desna comes in for some swift revenge; by flinging some good Ol' H2O at the speedy twins; but they dodge it initially and pull their twin Glock Forties Ludicrous style planting two bullets in Desna's head.  The blast of the guns send the little guys not only off the mountain but to the FFL Graveyard as well.  

The Ancient One is followed closely by the Indigo Lantern powerhouses Indigo One and Monk with some Uruk Hai and Zombies pulling up the rear as they move towards the entire Shining Force which has taken up a defensive position in a small grassy outcropping free of land effect.  The Zombies begin to feast the dragon meat of poor baby Blue, and have some Jogurt for desert; but Musashi gets pissed and makes some short work of all three of them with his Katana before the brain freeze kicks in.  Torasu pulls out his Glock and turns it to the side yelling "screw this healing crap, I'm a blast you fools" as he pumps out 18 rounds of 10 MM into the four Uruk Hai, sending the little Priest flying off of the mountain from the blast of his own Glock (I know, I know, I already used that gag; well I'm using it again alright).  Indigo One and Monk mow through the good defense and high hit points of Zylo and Musashi, while Anri and Alef fail to impress The Ancient One with magic despite their mastery of Freeze and Bolt.  The three Assasins then form up and defend against the axe attacks of Gort and Luke, before sending them plummeting off the cliff as well.  Tao grabs hold of her Demon Rod, casting Blaze 4, which much to the surprise of Indigo One burns Monk to a crisp.  Indigo One wants quick revenge; but instead gets a taste of the Chaos Breaker through her heart.  Max and Tao, standing tall after their victories form up with Domingo flying behind them ready to cast Freeze 4, Desoul or both; but The Ancient One flies in fast and casts a vicious spell that wipes out the remaining Shining Force members for good.  

Kyle and Zack patrol the area in their Jedi Starfighters keeping a tight side by side formation; when an X-Wing comes out of thin air and blasts them both with a pair of photon torpedos.  Kyle and Zack may be excellent pilots, with Jedi reflexes; but there is only one Wedge Antilles.  Both of the Young Jedi Knights eject from their craft and land safely atop a mountain where they are met by The Last Fart Bender:  Alex Houslander.  The two brothers attempt to hit him with a joint force push, but Alex air bends it out of the way.  Alex then smiles and says:  "Hmmmm....  Bruh.  Bop time" as he pops an enormous piece of broccoli into his mouth then turns around pointing his butt in their general direction.  Alex unleashes a fart so epic that it makes him the first ever Avatar to simultaneously air bend (through a mound of feces), water bend (cuz check them pants for did-ahrrea), earth bend (I felt it move), lava bend (the plasma in them underwear), swamp bend (did I mention the plasma in them underwear), fire bend (it burnt off my eyebrows), sand bend (turned it to glass tho), and metal bend (cuz that fart was pure gold) all at the same time.  This massive fart took out the whole landscape and ended the lives of all three Houslanders involved.  

Eska, Bolin, and El Diablo have taken on the full competitive bending stance as a water, earth, and fire trio, when they are confronted by the likes of Red Robin and Tom Brady in his massive Hulk Buster Suit.  The GOAT is quickly thrown off guard by the bending trio who hit him with a flurry of hits causing the bulky suit to become unbalanced.  Tom gets a mini rocket off before the benders disable his suit and send him flipping off the mountain, high fives commence; but the rocket hits Bolin right between the eyes ending the celebration.  Red Robin moves in directly afterwards decapitating El Diablo; but Eska splashes Red Robin over the edge of the cliff.  Tim Drake, sends a perfectly aimed orange lightsaber through the heart of Eska causing the water bender to join him in death.  

Cyborg Superman leads Kalibak, Shazam, and a crew of Honored Matres against the dozen Guardian Knights of Cybertron.  The Honored Matres move first in an attempt to keep the Guardian Knights from forming a Gestalt using time forgotten tactics developed by the Sorceresses' of Rossack to battle the evil thinking machines that plagued them.  This works momentarily, but the Honored Matres numbers are too few.  The Guardian Knights destroy all five of them and then merge to form Dragonstorm.  The three DC Combatants look like flies zipping around the massive Transformer Combiner; but they don't hit like flies and aren't nearly as easy to swat.  Dragonstorm manages to come down hard with a double-fisted punch that annihilates the extremely durable Kalibak; but this attack leaves a major hole in the the defenses of the Gestalt which Cyborg Supes and Shazam take immediate advantage of with blasts of lightning, heat vision, yellow energy, and building leveling fists from the duo that leave a pile of dust where Dragonstorm once stood.  

Zod and Ursa have taken flight and are zipping through the air at amazing speeds with their pal Zaheer doing his best to keep up.  They come upon Katara and her more than capable companion The Sentry.  Katara begins to splash them, but Ursa fights through the water and punches her head clean off.  The childlike Sentry gets beyond pissed about this outrage as he had begun to fall in love with Katara because that is what every male (except Saka of course (recognize)) who seems to meet her does.  The Sentry uses all of his knock off Kryptonian powers to rip the real Kryptonian Ursa apart; but then becomes a scorched skeleton as Zod hits him with an extremely potent shot of heat vision and then blows away the ash.  

The pitched battle between Aang and Korra rages on........

Despite being angered by the death of Ursa, the military mind of General Zod kicks in and he orders the remaining Dino-Mites to form up.  They go on a search and destroy mission for the remaining Assassins but are none too happy to meet up with The Ancient One along the way.  Zaheer, anxious to prove himself flies in fast towards The Ancient One sending a huge thrust of air in her direction.  The Ancient One simply evades the attack as if she was stepping aside from a minor gust of wind and delivers a blast of magic to Zaheer that sends him spiraling out of control and out of the match.  The Ancient One targets Cyborg Superman next, with a magical spell causing him to become flightless and which rips his metal body apart from that which was once natural.  A smirk comes to the face of The Ancient One who directs her gaze at Zod and says:  "I'm sorry to say that my powers are very useful against members of the Kryptonian race".  Shazam looks over at Zod as well saying:  "I feel like we knew that, did we know that"??  "We knew that".  Zod answers as he flies toward The Ancient One at nearly the speed of light and delivers an upper cut to her chin that even the best magic didn't have time to stop.

As two tired, yet determined Avatars battle for dominance a mutual respect has grown between the combatants.  A respect that has developed only along with the full realization that this match does not end until one of them is defeated.  Bending feats and acrobatic perfection like I have never quite witnessed abounds with neither fighter coming out on top; when the two Avatars realize that only a test of their sheer power will end this contest.  They both take in a breath of quick meditation and enter the Avatar state before they each focus one hundred percent of their power directly at one another.  Aang reaches his limit as he falls over from the exertion, passing out and going unconscious, while not realizing that Korra has done the same, but has fallen over in death........ 

Week 6 - Crack Danks vs Little People

 Crack Danks: Obi Wan Kenobi w/ Force Saber (-4), Venom, Deathstroke, Onslaught, Mr. Sinister, Jinora, Lin Beifong, Toph Beifong, Beast boy, Jason Voories w/ Red lantern Ring, Grey Worm w/ Indigo Lantern Ring, Green Lantern Penguin, Prometheus, Bronze Dragon #1-4

Them Small Peeps: Yoda w/ White Lantern Ring and Dwarf Ring #5, Air Bender #1-3, Zach and Spence: Woke, White Folk from Wakanda, Hermes, Mighty Mousette, Tracks, Nightsister Initiate on Nazgul #9’s Fell Beast (-4), Air Zonk w/ Power Dump, Cosmos, Skyfire, Captain Britain, Serci, Quasar, Mimic (-4), Sunfire

Sorry boys, the creative juices aren’t really with me this week, so it’ll be a short one.

It’s the southern air temple, post-Sozin destruction, therefore uninhabited. The small folks have not really found a home wherever they go, but have stumbled upon this abandoned temple and decide to make it theirs. The place is ginormous, and has plenty of space for the whole team to not have to smell AIr Zonk’s power dumps. Although, the three airbenders oddly feel even more at home than the rest of little peeps. Nazgul #9’s fell beast goes for a joy fly around the area alongside Skyfire.

Jinora and her team of crack filled dank people head for the southern air temple. Jinora wants to destroy it to the ground and build all new so that there are no remnants of the past of destruction it had gone through. As they arrive, Prometheus, Bronze Dragons #1-5, and Onslaught set ablaze the whole temple, not aware there are inhabitants. Toph and Lin Beifong start destroying the base of the temple and the whole building starts to crumple. Quickly, the tiny people become trapped within the burning building and start to suffocate and brun from the fire. Luckily for Sunfire, he can withstand the heat and Mimic copies his abilities so he, too, can survive. Members of the team fall fast, leaving just Sunfire and Mimc alive. From the ashes of the temple, they rise and attack their home wreckers and mow through the dragons, grey worm, Deathstroke, and Beast Boy. 

Soon Nazgul #9’s fell beast returns alongside Skyfire and aide their two surviving teammates. They go on to wipe out Onslaught, the Beifongs, and Green Lantern Penguin. In the process, Skyfire is too damaged to escape the battle and is left behind as the remaining three small dudes escape. 

Jinora is upset with herself that she was unaware of any people taking refuge in the temple. Her team took a great loss for her destructive ideas.