2024 NL Round 1: Washington Redskins vs Sigmaz

Cleveland Indians: Yoda w/ Dwarf Ring #4, Professor Charles Xavier, Sinestro w/ White Lantern Ring (final death), Larfleeze w/ Black and Orange Lantern Rings, Indigo-1, Munk, Saint Walker, Star Sapphire #1, Sodam Yat, Romat-Ru, Dex-Starr, Omega Supreme (final death), Power Girl, Scar and Black Lantern #9-10 and OA Guardian #1-2 in the Leviathan, Tommy Oliver: Green Ranger, Sando Aqua Monster, Namor the Sub-Mariner, Aspen Mathews, Allicon #3, Asajj Ventress in a Fury Class Interceptor, Star Wolf in a B-Wing, Zuko’s Dragon, Zam Wessel and Jedi Master #8 in the Ebon Hawk, Jedi Master #1 (final death) in a Y-Wing, Wolverine (final death)

Sugondese: Malcolm X w/ Vibranium Suit and Green Lightsaber, Barack Obama w/ Helicopter Helmet, Unabomber w/ Ironman Suit, Gurren Lagann w/ Super Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, Grand Moff Tarkin and Crew in the Executrix, Grand Inquisitor in the Xanadu Blood, 7th Sister and ID9 in a Naboo Starfighter, 8th Brother in Bistan’s U-Wing, Master Chief in an Arwing, Vorian Atreides and Seurat in the Dream Voyager, Edrik: Guild Navigator, Manford Torondo, Anari Idaho, Kratos, Atreus, Fenrir, Odin, Guts Berserk, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers in the Megazord, TMNT w/ Glocks in the Turtle Wagon, Grimlock, Slag, Sludge, Snarl, Swoop, Scorponok, Lord Zarak, Link w/ Ancient Armor Set in Master Cycle, Daruk w/ Dusk Claymore, Urbosa, Mipha w/ Bubble Flower, Revali w/ Topaz Rod

It is I, the Doc, who has come to watch over this historic NL playoff match. None of the NL’s esteemed rosters were able to pull off a winning season with 5 of the 6 teams finishing at 4-5. I’m receiving word that #ALisBettaNoCap is now trending on Twitter. After some intense logistical calculations to determine which teams made the playoffs and which did not, it is the Central Michigan Chippewas who face the Skibidi Toilets. Regardless of their unorthodox reception of a playoff berth, each of these teams have full rosters with tricks hidden up their sleeves.

—

This planet we arrive on is unlike any other due to its ability to forever change. The way it adapts and exchanges biomes almost instantaneously is bewildering to experience. Although, that is a poem for another time. For now, let our eyes gaze to the stars and look upon the arriving star destroyers and their corresponding reinforcements. It is the old republic era Leviathan who faces the empire’s mightiest, Executrix. In the command center of the Leviathan, Scar radios to the opposing ship, “Why does your comm signal show Sugondese?” Grand Moff Tarkin responds, “SUGONDESE NUTS!!!! OOOOOOOOO, GOT EM!!” This one burned so bad that the two Black Lanterns and OA Guardians were instantly vaporized to dust, leaving only Scar to command the colossal ship. Luckily, however, this interaction gave Ebon Hawk the required time to sneak into the hangar bay of Tarkin’s vessel in an attempt to pirate it from the inside. #SWGOHplayersgetit

Meanwhile, a clash of might falls upon the dark void of space. Connecting blows of punches and firing of lasers from the spaceships, lantern bearers, and mechs alike paint the sky with colors resembling fireworks that may even match Gandalf’s expertise. After hours of maneuvering, many of Sigmaz’s transformers have fallen (L bozo metal dudes), many ships float in ruin including each of the inquisitors (weak ass ‘sith’ imposters), and many of the B-class lantern bearers require their ring to find a new bearer. By this time, Ebon Hawk’s crew has pushed their way to the command center doors of the Executrix where Tarkin has realized the inevitable loss of the ship. He takes a page out of Holdo’s book and directs his jump to hyperspace directly at the Leviathan. Too bad, SWGOH rules apply and the Leviathan wins this battle by taking over with just enough time to actually send this ship through Gurren Lagann, instead. Scar takes victory over the opposing star destroyer, however, she was unfamiliar with Master Chief’s game as he had single handedly fought his way to the command center and was able to shoot Scar in the back of the head while taking the Leviathan for himself. That’s a classic snip snap snip snap move.

While giving time for Sinestro and Larfleeze to catch their breath, Omega Supreme’s big bodied slow ass finally makes an appearance in battle. He takes on two guys at once… ayo, bro who’s writing these words?... with both the Leviathan and Megazord attacking. For a minute, Omega Supreme is getting his ass handed to him, but then he finally remembers that he’s GOATED and bodies the feeble Power Rangers. With their death, Tommy Oliver saw no purpose in life anymore and killed himself. Now Omega Supreme had already taken a beating in which the Leviathan was able to send home a final shot to end the large metal foe. Although, enough time had passed for Sinestro to regain strength and end the star ship.

For the first battle, the Chicago Blackhawks take the victory.

—

Now we dive deep into the planet whose form has taken that of an ocean world. Water could be considered the opposite of space, while at the same time it is quite similar in its vast floating emptiness. Unfortunately for the cousin roster of Sigmas, there was not much water influence for the Sigmaz team. Therefore, it is Scorponok and Lord Zarak who make their stance against the formidable Cleveland Indian water roster… this is in reference to the defunct NFL team rather than the renamed baseball team… who is headed by Namor.

Scorponok’s larger than normal transformer size accompanied by Zarak as his head is the main reason he is even semi-formidable against the Sando Aqua Monster. They are able to thrash through the puny Allicon and Aspen Mathews, but the bigger fish always wins. After the Sando Aqua Monster enjoys his metallic meal, he continues to stay and rest in the water while Namor regroups with his team.

The Florida State Seminoles take round two, as well.

—

The mighty fantasy world makes another shift as large monstrous trees take form across widespread acreage. Now comes the time of the Sigmaz in which the team up of Dune, Greek mythology, and video games group together around a campfire.

Circling the skies, we can find Druk, loyal mount of the great Firelord Zuko and descendant of the firebending masters Ran and Shaw. Normally, Druk understands the balance of firebending and the need for restraint as to not cause unjust harm, but he knows the Kansas City Chiefs are mightily outnumbered. Therefore, his vibrant breath blows free across these wooded lands. As the trees burn down and the fire grows in strength, many lose their life to the fire including Link and his fellow breath of wilders, a weird looking guild navigator, a zealot for the Butlerian Jihad and his romance, and even a fellow Utah Utes member who strayed too far from the sea. #FireUndefeated. In response, Fenrir takes one large leap and sinks his teeth into the mighty remnant of the original firebending masters. Although, before the massive wolf falls to the ground, Powergirl zips through his chest.

Meanwhile, the father son combo and some dude named Guts… like this dude’s parents must have really hated him from the womb to be given a name like that… have been making a stealthy advance through the tree cover. It’s Atreus who makes the first move as he jumps at Powergirl in an attempt to slice through her, but Wolverine has smelled their approach and thrashes his claws through the kid’s body before he could even reach the god-like kryptonian. Kratos becomes enraged, of course, and lives up to the name of God-Killer as he bears down his hate on the last daughter of Krypton. He then pushes to the one who slayed his child, and even with all his might, Kratos is just another bub for Wolverine. After that is taken care of, Guts basically surrenders his life to Wolverine.

—

Finally, the world senses this battle’s culmination to be near. Thus, a transformation into a city-scape takes place. Very few remain on either side, and Xavier tries to reason with all to come to a peaceful resolution, but Malcolm X was never one for peace. Unfortunately for Xavier, the arguments in their minds blocked the unabomber’s true intentions as he had placed many bombs across the city before snapping his own neck so that Xavier would not be able to extract the information. And in flawless timing, bombs go off and off and off all over the city causing the death of the mighty telepathic, Larfleeze, as well as Sigmaz’s own Obama.

After the culmination of the last bomb, Sinestro and Wolverine push against Malcolm X and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Meanwhile, the old gentlemen, Yoda and Odin, take a seat to watch this fight from afar. They remark on the battle and make small talk while Sinestro and Wolverine make use of their final death and slay the remains of Sigmaz. Understanding defeat, the ancient god unexpectedly stabs the Jedi Master with Gungnir. Although he stepped against Yoda, he accepts his death from Wolverine.

AL Playoffs Round 1 The Horsemen vs. TEAM

The Horsemen: Darkseid, Supergirl, Superboy - FINAL DEATH, Agent Smith, Poseidon, Seaworms #1 and 2, The Flash w/ Blue Lantern Ring, Shazam, Juggernaut, Megatron, Apocalypse, He-Man and Battle Cat, Ultron, The Eradicator, Nekron and Black Lantern’s #3-5, Ganondorf, Wedge Antilles in his X-Wing, Biggs Darklighter in his X-Wing, Grand Admiral Thrown in a B-Wing, Snickers on a Motorcycle, and Eric Cartmen in the Hulk Buster Iron Man Suit

TEAM: Alex Houslander (w/ Super Scope 6), Unicron, God Emperor Leto, Thanos, Maw, Primus, Ego, Mace Windu in Kylo Ren's Command Shuttle,  Thor, Thunderstrike, The Mandalorian (Beskar Staff and Armour) & Grogu in Razor Crest, Next Generation Enterprise w/ (Jean Luc Picard, Enterprise Pilot, Enterprise Co-Pilot, Enterprise Gunner, Enterprise Crew Member #1-5), Soundwave and tapes: (Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Lazerbeak, Buzzsaw, Ratbat, Overkilll, Slugfest, Squawktalk, Beastbox, Garboil, Glit, Enemy, Howlback, Decepticon Cassettes #1-5, Transformer Cassettes #1-5, Legion Of Superheroes: Mon-El, Triplicate Girl, Phantom Girl, Invisible Kid, Star Boy, & Lightning Lad. Prince of the Cosmos. Kefka, Kyle's Homeboy Frank's Dad, Norm Macdonald, Mr. Boogedy

The Horsemen and TEAM are two formidable teams with a beef that spans centuries.  We may know the winner of this beef now but here are the stories that led to the end of this beef.

In the scorching desert sands, two formidable teams converge, each with their own agenda and allies. The Horsemen, led by the tyrant Darkseid, stands ready to unleash their power upon their adversaries. Meanwhile, TEAM, under the leadership of God Emperor Leto, prepares to defend against the impending threat.

As the sun beats down mercilessly upon the arid landscape, tensions rise between the opposing forces. The air crackles with anticipation, and the desert winds carry whispers of the impending clash.

The Horsemen, consisting of Darkseid, Juggernaut, Nekron, Black Lantern’s #3-5, Ganondorf, and Eric Cartman encased in the formidable Hulk Buster Iron Man Suit, marches forward with unwavering determination. Each member be havin aura, their eyes gleaming with the promise of conquest.

On the opposing side, TEAM stands firm, their resolve unshakable. God Emperor Leto, with his transcendent wisdom and divine strength, leads the charge alongside Thor, Thunderstrike, The Mandalorian clad in his Beskar armor, and the adorable yet powerful Grogu nestled safely in the Razor Crest.

As the two teams face off amidst the shifting sands, the battle begins. Thunderous clashes echo across the desert as each combatant unleashes their unique abilities and weapons upon their foes.

Darkseid, with his unmatched strength and cunning, engages in a fierce duel with God Emperor Leto, their blows shaking the very foundations of the desert floor. Juggernaut charges forward like an unstoppable force of nature, while Thor and Thunderstrike wield their mighty hammers, striking with the force of thunder itself.

Not even like the likes of God Emperor Leto can defend against the unwavering power yielded by Darkseid.  Although the strength of Thor and Thunderstrike are able to defeat Juggernaut.  Thor has to quickly change his attention to Nekron and the Black Lanterns who are engaging in a fierce barrage of attacks.  The attacks became to much for Thunderstrike who took their last breath while laying in the sand.  

Meanwhile, The Mandalorian skillfully maneuvers through the chaos, using his Beskar staff and armor to deflect incoming attacks with unmatched precision. Grogu watches from the safety of the Razor Crest, his small form radiating a mysterious energy that both intrigues and unnerves his adversaries.  Enough to distract Ganondorf while Mando is able to dispose of him from behind.

In the midst of the chaos, Eric Cartman, piloting the Hulk Buster Iron Man Suit with reckless abandon, unleashes a barrage of devastating weaponry upon TEAM. But Alex Houslander, armed with the Super Scope 6, stands ready to counter, his keen aim and quick reflexes proving to be a formidable match for the iron behemoth.  Alex is able to take down Cartman but not before he annihilated Mando and grogu. 

Alex is able to create a distraction by unleashing with his super scope 6 with unmatched precision.  This allows Thor to hastily make his move for Nekron.  Thor tries to save Alex but all is to late as Darkseid has sent him to the shadow realm.  Thor knowing his chances are slim makes his escape to space only to be followed by Dakrseid.

Meanwhile in the Forest….

In the heart of the dense forest, where the ancient trees whispered secrets and the shadows danced with mystery. The Horsemen, led by The Flash wielding the Blue Lantern Ring, comprised of Shazam, Megatron, Apocalypse, He-Man, and his loyal companion Battle Cat. They moved swiftly through the underbrush, their determination cutting through the thick atmosphere of the forest.

Meanwhile, TEAM, under the command of the cunning Soundwave and his legion of tapes, including Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, and many more, stalked silently amidst the trees, their metallic forms blending seamlessly with the shadows.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the forest floor, the two teams met in a clearing, their eyes locking in a silent challenge. The air crackled with tension as the battle commenced.

The Flash, with the power of the Blue Lantern Ring coursing through him, moved with blinding speed, striking like lightning and incapacitating several of Soundwave's tapes before they even had a chance to react. Shazam's thunderous punches sent shockwaves through the forest, while Megatron's arsenal of weapons laid waste to the surrounding trees.

But Soundwave was no ordinary foe. With his tactical brilliance and army of tapes at his command, he orchestrated a counterattack that caught The Horsemen off guard. Rumble and Frenzy unleashed seismic waves, causing the ground to tremble and disorienting The Horsemen. Ravage and Lazerbeak launched a coordinated assault, unleashing on The Horsemen from above with relentless precision.

Amidst the chaos, He-Man and Battle Cat fought side by side, their bond of friendship and courage unbreakable. He-Man's enchanted sword clashed against the metallic forms of Soundwave's tapes, while Battle Cat's ferocious roar echoed through the forest, inspiring hope.

As the battle raged on, the ancient trees bore witness to an epic clash of titans. Apocalypse unleashed his devastating powers, warping reality itself to his will, while the Legion of Superheroes fought valiantly alongside Soundwave, their combined strength and determination pushing The Horsemen to their limits.

But in the end, it was the will of The Horsemen that prevailed. With a final surge of determination, they overcame Soundwave and his tapes, driving them back into the depths of the forest. As the dust settled and the echoes of battle faded.  All that remained were The Horsemen.  The Flash, Megatron, and Apocalypse stood tall among what was remaining of the ancient forest. 

“We must move onward to the city” commands The Flash

Little did they know that Mon El was still alive listening to them.  He is able to warn TEAM of the attack on the city.

A few days later in the city…

In the heart of the bustling metropolis, where skyscrapers pierce the sky and neon lights paint the streets.  On one side The Horsemen led by Flashf, armed with the mighty Blue Lantern Ring, a symbol of hope and courage. Alongside him stood Megatron, the formidable leader of the Decepticons, towering and imposing, ready to unleash devastation. And then there was Apocalypse, the ancient mutant with godlike powers, his presence alone striking fear into the hearts of mortals.

Facing them was TEAM, a team comprised of some of the most formidable villains and antiheroes the universe had ever seen. At the helm was the Mad Titan himself, Thanos, by his side stood Maw, the cunning and manipulative servant, whispering dark secrets into his master's ears. Kefka, the deranged clown-like villain, cackled with glee as chaos unfolded around him. And then there was Kyle's Homeboy Frank's Dad, an enigmatic figure with unknown powers, his motives shrouded in mystery.

The Flash, with his unparalleled speed, darted around the battlefield like lightning, striking his opponents with blinding speed before they could react. Megatron's cannons roared, unleashing a barrage of destructive energy that tore through buildings and sent shockwaves rippling through the streets. Apocalypse, his eyes glowing with power, unleashed a wave of energy that shook the very fabric of reality, threatening to tear the city apart at its seams.

But TEAM was not to be underestimated. Maw's telekinetic powers were a force to be reckoned with, as he hurled debris and vehicles at his foes with deadly precision. Kefka's twisted laughter echoed through the chaos as he unleashed blasts of dark magic, corrupting everything they touched. And then there was Kyle's Homeboy Frank's Dad, his powers a mystery even to his allies, as he unleashed devastation with a mere glance.

Amidst the chaos, unexpected allies and foes joined TEAM. Norm Macdonald, the comedian-turned-warrior, cracked jokes even as he fought with a ferocity unmatched. Mr. Boogedy, the spectral entity, haunted the battlefield with his eerie presence, striking fear into the hearts of his enemies. Mon-El, the hero from another world, soared through the sky, his fists raining down like meteors upon his foes. And Mace Windu, wielding his lightsaber with precision and grace, carved through his enemies with the skill of a true Jedi master, his every move a work of art.

As the battle raged on, the city trembled beneath the fury of their clash, buildings crumbling and streets cracking under the onslaught of their power. Megatron caught up with his onslaught of the city is met by Mace Windu is cut down by the powerful Jedi.  Kyle’s Homeboy Frank’s Dad mysterious powers are still to be known, but he is able to stop The Flash allowing Thanos to crush him.

All that remains of the Horsemen in the city of Metropolis is Apocalypse.  TEAM unleashes a fury of attacks as Apocalypse tries to end this battle.  Apocalypse is brought down but at the cost of the majority of TEAM leaving Tahnos, Maw, Kyle’s Homeboy Frank’s Dad, and Mace Windu.  

TEAM retreats to space where the final battle will commence….

In the vast expanse of the cosmos, where stars twinkle like distant promises and galaxies churn with unknown wonders, two opposing forces converge.

As the celestial battleground looms before them, the teams prepare for the clash that will echo across the cosmos for eons to come.

As the battle commences, the fabric of space itself trembles with the intensity of their conflict. Beams of energy, bolts of lightning, and waves of telekinetic force collide amidst the swirling cosmos, painting a tableau of cosmic chaos.

Darkseid, with his unyielding determination, leads the charge, his Omega Beams carving through the void with lethal precision. Supergirl and Superboy follow close behind, their fists of fury raining down upon their adversaries with righteous fury.

Meanwhile, Unicron, towering over the battlefield like a malevolent god, unleashes his cataclysmic power, swallowing whole planets and stars in his insatiable maw. Thanos, his eyes gleaming with mad ambition, orchestrates his forces with calculated precision, while Maw manipulates the very fabric of reality to his master's will.

Primus and Ego, ancient rivals locked in an eternal struggle, clash with titanic force, their cosmic energies shaking the very foundations of reality, taking down Thanos and Maw. Thor, his hammer crackling with celestial lightning, fights with valor and determination.

Amidst the chaos, Poseidon summons tidal waves of energy, clashing with the Prince of the Cosmos in a cosmic showdown. Seaworms #1 and #2 engage in a fierce clash with the Enterprise Crew, their aquatic prowess proving invaluable in the vacuum of space.

Grand Admiral Thrawn, recognizing the futility of the conflict, attempts to broker a peace treaty, but his efforts are thwarted by the relentless determination of both teams to emerge victorious.

Ultron, the Eradicator, and Agent Smith coordinate their attack, their digital minds intertwining as they unleash a barrage of calculated strikes against the Next Generation Enterprise. But Picard and his crew are no strangers to adversity, maneuvering the starship with precision of years of exploration and conflict.

Wedge Antilles and Biggs Darklighter swoop in on their X-Wings, dancing through the chaos of battle. Their proton torpedoes find their mark, testing the shields of the Enterprise to their limits, while Kyle's Homeboy Frank's Dad surprises everyone with his unexpected prowess, turning the tide of battle with his unorthodox tactics.

As the clash intensifies, the fabric of space itself begins to warp and bend, reality twisting under the combined might of Agent Smith's manipulation and the Eradicator's relentless assault. But Captain Picard remains undaunted, his voice calm and steady as he guides his crew through the storm.

In a final, desperate gambit, Ultron merges with the Eradicator, their digital essences becoming one in a bid for ultimate power. But the Enterprise crew, with Kyle's Homeboy Frank's Dad at their side, rally together in a display of unity and resolve.

With a blinding flash of light that echoes across the cosmos, the two teams collide in a cataclysmic explosion of energy. Killing The Enterprise team and Kyle’s Homeboy Frank’s Dad, along with Agent Smith and the Eradicator. 

All that remains of the Horsemen are Ultron, Darkseid, Supergirl and Superboy on his last legs.  TEAM still has Primus, Ego, Mace Windu and Thor.

Time and Space itself is warping around the battlefield.  No timeline is able to fix the chaos that has been unleashed.  The teams collide for one final clash. 

The battle commenced amidst the silent void of space, sparks flying as powers clashed and energies surged. Ultron's mechanical brilliance clashed with Primus's divine intellect, each seeking to outmaneuver the other in a cosmic game of strategy. Until Primus reigned supreme.

Meanwhile, Darkseid and Ego engaged in a titanic struggle of wills, the Lord of Apokolips attempting to bend the living planet to his command while Ego fought fiercely to maintain his autonomy and protect the team under his care. Ego’s fierce fight was for none as he was unable to take down Darkseid.

Supergirl and Superboy found themselves locked in combat with Mace Windu and Thor, the clash of Kryptonian strength against Jedi mastery and Asgardian might sending shockwaves.  Supergirl and Superboy found themselves pushed to their limits by the combined might of Mace Windu and Thor.  

Darkseid fought his way through Primus to try and aid the Kyrptonians.  It was to late..  All that stood was Thor among the bodies. 

In one final clash that shook the universe Darkseid was able to eliminate the God of Thunder.