Sigmas vs. Doctor Madhouse Week 4

 Sigmas: Han Solo/Chewbacca in Millenium Falcon, Deadshot (1st Gunman on Millenium Falcon), Jhin (2nd Gunman on Millenium Falcon), Anakin Skywalker in Stealth X-Wing, Falco in Arwing, Witch King of Angmar on Fell Beast, Duncan Idaho in Comeupance, Maverick in Lando's Escape pod, Aatrox, Smaug, Proxima Midnight, Mr. Sinister, Darkhawk, Sleepwalker, Satoru Gojo, Pit, Dio Brando, Starscream, Elden Beast, Mon-Starr

Doctor’s Madhouse: Darth Vader in Vader’s Shuttle, Jango Fett in an X-Wing, Batman, Robin (Damien Wayne), and Alfred in The Javelin, Ursa, Black Adam, Osiris, and Isis, Trigon, Red Tornado, Firestorm, Captain Atom, Captain Marvel, Nova (Richard Rider), Rogue, Blue Marvel, Clone Trooper #1-5 in MG-100 StarFortress, SHIELD Agent #1-7 in a Quinjet

The battle begins in the cold vastness of space, with both sides preparing their assault. The massive, imposing Vader’s Shuttle soars across the void, with Darth Vader at the helm. His presence alone makes the air feel thick with the dark side of the Force. As the shuttle moves into position, Vader uses his mastery over the Force to anticipate incoming attacks, deflecting laser fire with ease while targeting key enemy ships with precision. The shuttle’s advanced weapons systems fire back, striking a few smaller fighters down before they can make their mark.

Above him, Jango Fett pilots his X-Wing, moving nimbly through the chaos. His target is clear: any enemy who dares to challenge him. Fett’s agile maneuvers and dead-eye precision keep him several steps ahead of his opponents, his blasters tearing through enemy ships as he adapts to each new threat. In a brief moment he lines up a perfect shot and destroys one of Sigmas Arwings, sending the craft and Falco spiraling out of control.

Meanwhile, in the Javelin, Batman, Damian Wayne, and Alfred begin their assault. Batman’s sharp mind directs his team, and the Javelin’s stealth technology allows them to remain hidden as they move through the battlefield. Damian, with his raw skill and ruthless tactics, fires from the ship's weapons systems, taking out multiple enemy interceptors with ease. Alfred, ever the tactician, offers strategic advice, keeping the Javelin one step ahead of the opposition.

The battle is quickly escalating as Ursa, the Kryptonian powerhouse, flies through space at high velocity, her heat vision incinerating any foes in her path. Black Adam, Osiris, and Isis form a mighty trio, their combined strength and elemental powers turning the battlefield into a storm of destruction. Black Adam’s lightning bolts tear through enemy craft while Osiris and Isis focus on magical barriers and attacks, neutralizing key threats.

At the other side of the battlefield, Sigmas are already striking back. The Millennium Falcon, piloted by Han Solo and his co-pilot Chewbacca, races through the sky, its weapons blazing. From the gunner’s seat, Deadshot and Jhin unleash precise, deadly fire, each shot finding its mark. Deadshot’s unerring accuracy targets key weaknesses in enemy ships, while Jhin’s precision brings silence to the chaos

Anakin Skywalker, in his Stealth X-Wing, employs a similar strategy. The Force guides his every move, allowing him to navigate through the clouds of gunfire. He locks onto a few of Doctor’s ships, easily destroying them with well-placed shots, his advanced reflexes and combat skills making him a terrifying presence on the battlefield. His personal vendetta against the forces of the galaxy’s dark side is evident in every action.

In the thick of the action, The Witch King of Angmar, mounted on his Fell Beast, roars into the chaos, bringing terror wherever he goes.. He swings his wicked blade in wide arcs, cutting down any who dare approach too close. His steed, the Fell Beast, wreaks havoc on the smaller crafts, tearing them apart with brutal strength.

Meanwhile, Duncan Idaho in the Comeupance charges forward, his blade flashing as he duels several of Doctor’s front-line fighters. His speed and skill with the blade allow him to overwhelm several of his opponents, though he’s soon caught off-guard by a deadly strike from Trigon, the dark demon. Trigon’s power sends Duncan plummeting into the depths of space, and though he remains a fearsome warrior, he’s temporarily neutralized.

The battle’s intensity skyrockets as Aatrox and Smaug join the fight. Aatrox, the bloodthirsty war god, swings his sword with fury, cleaving through the frontlines of Doctor’s forces. Smaug, the great dragon, opens his mouth, unleashing flames across the battlefield, burning through entire fleets of smaller ships. His fire twists through the chaos, scorching everything in its path.

As the battlefield churns with destruction, Proxima Midnight and Mr. Sinister utilize their abilities to control the flow of the battle. Proxima Midnight’s spear crackles with energy as she leads a charge against Black Adam, her strength and cosmic power pushing the battle into a brutal stalemate. Mr. Sinister manipulates genetic clones to confuse and destabilize the enemy ranks, allowing his allies to focus their fire and eliminate threats more easily.

But as Sigmas advances, Doctor’s defenses hold. Red Tornado spins through the air, creating violent storms that buffet the opposition, while Firestorm, with his nuclear abilities, engulfs enemy fighters in atomic flames. Captain Atom uses his quantum powers to phase through attacks, striking with devastating precision. His blows shatter enemy ships and incapacitate foes in one swift motion. Captain Marvel, using their strength and speed, delivers blows that send chaos through the battlefield, knocking enemies off course with every punch.

Nova and Rogue continue their relentless assault, Nova’s cosmic energy blasts pushing back key targets, while Rogue’s absorption powers give her the edge she needs to eliminate some of the more dangerous fighters. Blue Marvel fights like a force of nature, eliminating foes with rapid, efficient strikes.

At this point, the battle has reached a critical moment. Sigmas begin to show signs of weakening. Starscream, always scheming, tries to retreat but is ambushed by Vader’s Shuttle, which rips through his defenses, silencing the Decepticon’s attempts at escape. Sleepwalker and Darkhawk, though skilled, are overwhelmed by the sheer might of Doctor’s cosmic and superhuman fighters.

As the battle wears on, Dio Brando tries to use his World ability to manipulate time, freezing Doctor’s members for moments. But Vader, sensing the disturbance, counters with the Force, negating Dio’s ability to control the flow of time long enough for Doctor’s remaining fighters to regroup and launch a decisive counter-offensive.

Finally, the Elden Beast attempts to turn the tide with its eldritch powers, but Trigon, still lurking in the chaos, engages in a fierce contest of cosmic energies. The Elden Beast falters, and the clash of powers leaves the void in tumult, creating a final wave of destruction.

As the dust settles and the debris from the battlefield floats in the cold expanse of space, only Darth Vader remains with Anakin Skywalker on the bridge of Cloud City.  

Anakin promptly says “Aye before this starts, you was the bomb in Phantoms”

“Doesn’t that mean you were in Phantoms?” replies Vader

“Phantoms like a motha****a” both exclaim.

Anakin charges, his lightsaber slashing through the air with speed and precision. Vader counters with deliberate, measured movements, the clash of their blades ringing out as sparks fly. The two warriors engage in a deadly dance, a mirror of what Anakin could become if he embraces his anger.

The fight grows more intense as Anakin's strikes become faster, more erratic with his emotions , while Vader remains composed. Anakin’s saber clashes against Vader's in a powerful shockwave that pushes both warriors back. Anakin’s eyes filled with fury.

Vader swings his lightsaber in a powerful arc, forcing Anakin to block desperately. Anakin stumbles back, but then he pauses, a moment of clarity flashing in his eyes. He looks at his older self, torn between the two identities.

For just a moment, Anakin falters. Vader, sensing this moment of hesitation, presses the advantage, driving Anakin to the edge of the bridge. The wind howls as they stand on the edge.

Anakin, heart racing, takes a deep breath, then with a final surge of defiance, he pushes Vader back with a powerful Force push, but his efforts are null as Vader sends Anakin’s lifeless body to plummet in the galaxy forever.

Week 4 Staff Consortium: TEAM vs Cowboy Killers

TEAM: Mace Windu in a Jedi Starfighter, The Mandalorian and Grogu in the Razor Crest, The Space Ghosts: Space Ghost, Jan, Jace and Blip, Blitzwing, Astrotrain, The Combaticons - Merge to form Bruticus: Onslaught, Brawl, Blast Off, Swindle and Vortex, The Stunticons - Merge to form Menacer: Motormaster, Drag Strip, Dead End, Breakdown, and Wild Racer, Santa Clause, Corbin Dallas, Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen, Beta Ray Bill, DC Thor, Dave Bowman: The Starchild, Tripticon, Kyle’s Homeboy Frank’s Dad in an F-15, Renegade #1-5, Sweep #1-3, Dragon #1 and 2, and Karg

Cowboy Killers: Superman, Martian Manhunter, Magneto w/Red Lantern Ring, Master Mold, Storm, Sky Lynx, Commander Ahsoka in Ahsoka’s Starfighter, Legends Leia Organa w/C-3PO in Leia’s Y-Wing, Ajax, Hecate, Beowolf, Cal Kestis and BD-1 in a Jedi Starfighter, Nazgul #5 on Fell Beast #5, Fell Beast 1 and 2, Greez in a A-Wing

FFL 2025 Week 4: Washington Redskins vs. Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips

 Washington Redskins: Power Girl, Full Spectrum: Sinestro w/ White Lantern Ring, Sodam Yat (Green Lantern Ring), Indigo One & Munk (Indigo Lantern Ring), Saint Walker (Blue Lantern Ring), Carol Ferris (Star Sapphire), Black Lantern Larfleeze (Orange Lantern Ring), Dex-Tar (Red Lantern Ring), Scar, Air Zonk, Thundercracker, Skywarp, Nemesis Enforcer w/ Sword  of Darkness, Zuko’s Dragon, Quasar, Star Wolf & Rob in Stealth X-Wing, Jedi Master #1A (Final Death), Bashar Tarr, Buster & Lolo in Batcopter, Serpenter in Air Chariot, Black Dragon #1-10, Tallyhawk, & OA Guardian #2.

Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips: Supergirl, Ultron w/ Infinity Gauntlet containing the Power & Time Stones, The Eradicator, Orion, Amazo, Apocalypse, Zombie Superboy, Black Lantern Agent Smith, Mongul w/ Yellow Lantern Ring, Red Hood flying atop Oogi, Arsenal w/ Red Lantern Ring, Starfire, Tulin w/ 2 katana blades, Jeff in F-15, Wedge Antilles in A-Wing, Biggs Darklighter in B -Wing.

Match Location: Cloud City (they better be able to fly)

What an FFL match we’re gonna have here today!! 

It’s been a little over 7 months since i’ve watched a match, glad to be back, time to shake off the rust and get this match started. We got heavy hitters on both sides of the field (Cloud City) today. 

It’s gonna be a good one.

The Washington Football Team is going with a lineup containing the Full Spectrum today, while the Horsemen played multiple Kryptonians and the Infinity Gauntlet.

The Washington Commanders start this match by having their Full Spectrum + OA Guardian sit back and prepare themselves for the power they have obtained from their ring bearing companions. Washington sends out the rest of its team to attack the Horsemen head on in the clouds of Cloud City.

Star Wolf & ROB in an X-Wing with their teammates in the BatCopter, Tallyhawk & Serpenter in his Air Chariot take on Tulin, Jeff, Wedge & Biggs in their respective aircraft in a dogfight that rivals Top Gun Maverick in its coolness factor.

The Batcopter, Tallyhawk & Serpenter in his Air Chariot are taken out quickly by the awesome Wedge & Biggs combo. Star Wolf & ROB are stunned at how quickly Wedge & Biggs are able to take their teammates out. But the effect of the stun doesn’t last too long as Star Fox is an excellent pilot and gets behind Jeff with ease and takes him out using his X-Wing’s proton torpedo launchers. After Jeff is taken out, Tulin attempts to retaliate by shooting the X-Wing in the back with his bow and arrow, but it has no effect on the X-Wing other than a small scratch on the paint. This arrow gets Star Fox’s attention though as he quickly turns the ship around and scorches the wings of Tulin using the X-Wing’s laser cannons. Tulin has now lost the ability to fly and is falling in the sky to his death. Wedge and Biggs see their teammate falling to his death in the sky and focus their attention on the fox with pilot skills. Star Fox is initially arrogant towards Wedge and Biggs as their teammates have been so easy for him to take out. But he is quickly humbled as Wedge uses his A-Wing to distract Star Fox while Biggs gets behind him with his B-Wing. Biggs is able to knick one of the wings of the X-Wing with his bomber. Star Fox’s ship is weakened but still functional. He‘s able to take out Wedge in his A-Wing but not long after, Biggs gets his revenge and finishes off Star Fox and ROB. Biggs gets brief relief from the revenge as his ship is immediately burnt to a crisp by Zuko’s dragon.

While that dogfight was going on, Thundercracker, Skywarp, Nemesis Enforcer and the Black Dragons took on Red Hood and the Outlaws. The Transformers and crew proved to be quite the hassle for Red Hood and the Outlaws as Thundercracker and Skywarp took out Oogi and Red Hood. They then focused their attention on Arsenal and Starfire who were visibly struggling. Thundercracker was able to stun and knockout Arsenal causing his lantern ring to stop keeping him a float. He began quickly accelerating down into the clouds. Starfire dove down into the clouds to save Arsenal. She disappeared for what seemed like a minute, until she appeared out of the clouds with Arsenal in her arms. She was not able to wake him up, so she is visibly handicapped as she is not able to properly defend herself while carrying Arsenal. The Black Dragons, Nemesis Enforcer, Thundercracker and Skywarp are attacking all in unison trying to take her out. She is able to defend the initial onslaught but is getting exhausted quickly. Just as she was about to pass out from exhaustion, in the flash of an eye, Thundercracker, Skywarp, Nemesis Enforcer and the Black Dragons were taking out in a cloud of dust. After the dust settled, it was seen that Supergirl, The Eradicator and Zombie Superboy took the group of the Commanders out. Supergirl instructs Starfire to take Arsenal to a nearby building in the city and leave him to wake up while she joins the rest of the team in battle.

With Washington’s squad taking an early beating in this match, the lantern bearers have joined the rest of their teammates to help after getting the full spectrum prepared. 

Power Girl sees the lantern bearers appear and yells “Finally! We’ve been getting our ass beat out here while you guys were meditating, or whatever it is you guys were doing!” Sinestro disregards Power Girl’s comment and commands his lantern bearers to work together to defeat the Horsemen. 

Supergirl is cautious as Superman has warned her about how dangerous the Full Spectrum can be. She also remembered that Kal taught her that the only way to defeat a Black Lantern ring is to combine the powers of two rings. She calls out to her team “The Full Spectrum is dangerous and uses our emotions to defeat us. We need to keep an even keel throughout this match and work together if we want to…” Before she can even finish her sentence, Mongul rushes to attack using his Yellow Lantern Ring. Sinestro uses his White Lantern Ring to shoot an energy blast to take the Warzoon out with ease. In the midst of the explosion, Supergirl sees Mongul’s Yellow Lantern ring flash in her eye, she flies to it and picks it up before the dust settles. Sinestro is not aware that Supergirl has the ring in her possession. 

Once the dust settles, Sinestro calls out “Lantern Corp, attack with full fury!” The Lantern Corps attacks as one unified being and does devastating damage to the Horsemen. In one quick flurry, Sodam Yat uses his ring to create two huge arms and grab Starfire by her arms and legs to rip in her half. Sinestro creates a huge energy blast with his White Lantern Ring and destroys Orion in one fell swoop.The other lantern corps members and Power Girl attack the other Horsemen but thankfully the horsemen are able to defend and survive the first wave of attacks. Supergirl calls out to The Eradicator “GO GET ARSENAL’S RED LANTERN RING, STARFIRE LEFT HIM IN ONE OF THE NEARBY BUILDINGS!!” The Eradicator zooms off into the clouds to find Arsenal while the rest of the Horsemen hold their defense. 

Supergirl then goes to Apocalypse and says “Try and use your telepathic powers to take control of Power Girl, telepathy is a common weakness in Kryptonians.” Apocalypse responds with “I’ll try, but I’ll need someone to protect me while I do.” Supergirl then calls to Amazo “Amazo, use your mimic abilities to mimic Sodam Yat’s Green Lantern abilities and create a force field around Apocalypse to protect him while he uses his telepathic powers on Power Girl.” Amazo responds with “You got it boss.”

Amazo sets up the force field around Apocalypse as tries to take control of Power Girl. Eventually, Apocalypse is successful and gets her to attack her own teammates. She uses her laser vision to slice Zuko’s Dragon in half, then she grabs Air Zonk with her own bare hands and rips the tiny robot in half. Finally she uses her freeze breath to freeze and shatter Quasar’s Quantum Bands. Without those bands he loses his ability to fly and falls to his death. 

Sinestro calls to his corps “Someone figure out why Power Girl is attacking her own team!!” Carol Ferris notices that Amazo is using a shield around APocalypse while he sits there with his eyes closed. She calls out “Apocalypse is using telepathy Power Girl!!” Sodam Yat turns around and shoots an energy blast from his ring. Amazo notices but has to remove the force field from APocalypse to block the blast from hitting him. With Apocalypse without protection he stops his telepathy and continues on to the battle. 

Zombie Superboy is hungry and sees a floating bald man with white hair. He flies to the OA Guardian and eats him to satisfy his hunger. While he was focused on eating the OA Guardian, Power Girl swooped and snapped his neck from behind.

Agent Smith calls out to Supergirl “Going on the defensive this long sickens me!! I’m going on the attack.” Agent Smith charges towards the corps but Black Lantern Larfleeze combines his Black and Orange Lantern Ring to take out the fellow Black Lantern Ring carrier with ease.

Supergirl yells to Ultron “Damnit, we need to work together!! We can’t keep making these stupid decisions, the Full Spectrum is tearing us apart one by one!! Where is Eradicator with Arsenal’s Lantern Ring?!” Just as she finishes her sentence, The Eradicator swoops in from behind the Redskins, he flies into Scar’s back with full force and obliterates her into a million pieces without breaking his stride and stops right in front of Supergirl. He says with a smirk on his face “Did I hear my name?” 

Supergirl smiles and takes the Red Lantern ring out of The Eradicator’s hands “Go help the rest of the team in battle” she says. She then turns to Ultron and hands him Mongul’s Yellow Lantern Ring and Arsenal’s Red Lantern and orders him to combine the rings to take out Larfleeze. Ultron follows her commands and combines the rings. He flies to Larfleeze and hits him with an energy blast from his combined rings to take him out. Sinestro sees Larfleeze taken out and calls for the two rings to come to him. He now possesses the white, yellow, black and orange lantern rings.  

Sinestro uses the power of his combined rings and shoots Apocalypse with an energy blast. Initially, Apocalypse was able to absorb and endure the energy, but eventually, Apocalypse began to glow like there was a lightbulb inside his body, brighter and brighter until he exploded.

Supergirl and The Eradicator work together to try and take out Power Girl. After a fury of attacks from the duo, Power Girl is alive and well as she did a good job of defending herself. As she is about to go on the offensive, Amazo uses his mimic powers to temporarily override and shut down Power Girl’s abilities. She begins to fall as she’s lost her power of flight. As she’s falling Supergirl grabs her by her arms and The Eradicator grabs her by her legs and fly in opposite directions. Ripping the Krytponian in half. 

Sinestro is sick and tired of Amazo’s mimic abilities and destroys him using his powers from the multiple rings in his possession.

Supergirl and The Eradicator continue their offensive streak and fly towards Dex-Tar. Dex-Tar shoots an energy blast at them but they endure through the blast until they reach the Lantern bearer. The Eradicator gets behind Dex-Tar and pulls his arms back while Supergirl pulls his lantern ring off and then punches through the neck of the ringless Dex-Tar. While the Kryptonians were focusing on killing Dex-Tar, Sinestro was able to call the red lantern into his possession.

Ultron and the rest of the Horsemen join Supergirl and The Eradicator on the offensive as they have gathered momentum heading towards the end of this battle. Ultron uses his Power Stone to destroy Saint Walker & Indigo One & Munk. Sinestro is able to retrieve the Indigo Lantern Ring from Indigo One but Sodam Yat retrieves Saint Walker's Blue Lantern Ring. Sodam Yat with now immense power carrying both a Green and Blue Lantern Ring shoots energy blasts at Supergirl & The Eradicator that are just too strong for the Kryptonians to handle. They both fall to their death. 

Now it's just Ultron by himself against Sinestro, Sodam Yat, & Carol Ferris. The trio shoot an energy blast in unison towards the Artificial Intelligence being, but just as the energy blasts are about to strike him, the blast starts moving backwards towards the trio of lantern bearers. Ultron is using his time stone to go back in time. The battle reverses back to just after Indigo One & Munk and Saint Walker die, but right before Sodam Yat get’s the Blue Lantern ring in his possession. Ultron then uses his Red and Yellow Lantern Ring to call the Blue Lantern Ring into his possession but just as he’s about to receive it, Sinestro uses the power of his many rings to overpower Ultron and get the Blue Lantern Ring into his possession. 

Sodam Yat was focused on the power struggle over the Blue Lantern Ring and left himself vulnerable to the two Kryptonians. Supergirl and The Eradicator used their laser vision to cut an X through Sodam’s body. Sinestro also calls for that lantern ring into his possession. Now it’s just Sinestro and Carol Ferris left against Ultron and the two Kryptonians. 

Sinestro orders Carol “Give me your Star Sapphire ring, I’ll combine the powers of all the rings to take these guys out” Carol uses her ring to get to a nearby building balcony and begrudgingly gives Sinestro her ring. Sinestro then combines all the powers of the rings and shoots one large energy blast to the Horsemen. The Horsemen respond, with laser vision from the Kryptoniains and a combined energy blast from Ultron’s power stone and the yellow & red lantern rings.The energy blasts from the opposing teams meet in the middle as they push back and forth on each other. One not able to take over the other, eventually the energy blasts create a huge explosion.

The dust settles and it can be seen that the explosion killed Ultron, Supergirl and The Eradicator from the Horsemen and Sinestro from the Washington Redskins. 

Carol with a sigh of relief says “Finally, … it's done.”

She turns around and walks towards the door of the balcony, as she grabs the door she is struck in the center of her back with an arrow and falls to her death. 

Arsenal had woken up from being unconscious and hit her with an arrow from a nearby building rooftop.     

David Byrne's Meat Suits Vs. Dolla 49 McRibs

 David Byrne's Meat Suits are Galactus and his Herald David Byrne, Hank Henshaw (w/ a yellow lantern ring), Hal Jordan, Scarlet Witch, Jade, Wingspan, Airbender #1-4, Black Beetle, Power Ring, Slippy Toad in a Jedi Starfighter, Capt. James Tiberius Kirk, Enterprise Lt. #1-2, & Enterprise Crew #1-5 in a Space-X Rocket, Atrocitus, Guy Gardner, Bill Cypher, Avatar Korra, Omnius in a Stealth X-Wing, Black Lantern Star Sapphire, Vampire Star Sapphire, Black Lantern Goblin, Orange Lantern Ghost #1, Walker: Texas Ranger in a B-Wing.

Dolla 49 McRib is Bizarro Superman, Anti-Monitor, Dr. Fate, Dr. Strange, Wong, Knull, Zeus, The Spectre, Blue Beetle, Blackfire, Wonder Woman, Starman, Count Dooku & FA-4 in Dooku's Ship, ID-4 Alien #9 in a Flying Saucer, ID-4 Alien #10 in a Flying Saucer, & Sub-Ultron #3-5.  

Sup Fam, Joshatu the Bipp-Worthy here ready to rock this match in the beautiful Bespin clouds.  The bright Sun of the Anoat Sector is shining bright, with very little breeze and I am chilling with a fat Arturo Fuente cigar and a Colt 45 in honor of my by boy Billy Dee on top of an Eternian Air Centurion board getting ready to watch two squads throw down in some monumental air on air action in this historical gas giant.  

Let's start with the easy part.  We all know that I am an insane nit-picker of details; so we will commence with a chuckle as the teams appear and we watch several people from each squad fall out of the sky to who knows where.  For the Meat Suits I am watching the insanely powerful, yet land-lubbing Scarlet Witch do what she can to blast herself back into the air while she falls into the atmoshphere.  A valiant effort but epic fail.  I consulted the ultimate authority on all things Avatar (I asked Alex) and he assured me that only one air bender in the whole Avatar Universe could fly and that Korra and random Air Bender #1-4 ain't it (bummer because they were all at 9 deaths (looks like four random McRibs are about to get credit for sending some cats to the graveyard)).  Omnius:  The masterfully logical robot is not exactly known for his sense of humor; but he can't help but giggle at his own meat suit teammates falling to their doom, while he was given a shiny new Stealth X-Wing to fly around in despite being able to fly on his own.  As for The McRibs, Zeus initially looked like he was going to have the same issues as Scarlet Witch: But he was able to stay afloat by hanging out in the clouds and securing himself with lightning.  Watching him jump  around from cloud to cloud Mario and Luigi style is almost as much fun as watching some of the other peeps fall out of the sky.  Almost.  I have never seen a symbiote fly, especially unassisted by the floating capabilites of fantasy space; but Wikipedia says Knull can fly; so we are going to let it slide (and yes, Joshatu just used the royal we to describe himself before switching back to speaking in the third person).  As for Wonder Woman:  I know a bunch of you kids think she can fly because you have watched some DC Cartoons trying to make her out to be a large breasted Superman; but as a guy who has been reading comics since The Roosevelt administration; I got to tell ya......  She can't fly.  She wouldn't need an invisible jet if she did.  

Now that whoopsies are out of the way:  LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE.  Count Dooku in his environmentally safe windsail ship gets on the McRib Com to the other Leftist Warriors of Social Justice on his squad such as Blackfire (a liberal white girl, despite her blatant cultural appropriation displayed by her name).  They also enlist The ID-4 Aliens, Starman, and Wong to attack, deface, and draw Nazi symbols on The Space-X Rocket because they have been enticed to do so by their liberal sensibilities, the news, and Alex Soros, despite thinking Elon Musk was The Cat's meow just ten short months ago.  Omnius, controlling the Stealth X-Wing as good as any human ever has quickly moves to defend the honor of his fellow AI worshipping, humanity destroying future humanist Elon Musk.  Plus Jim Kirk is just a bro's bro and even a genocidal robot can't deny that.  The Independence Day Offworlders focus their green s*** at The Space X Rocket and it starts to take heavy damage causing Capt. Kirk to dramatically bounce around the inside of the spaceship; but Omnius in his Stealth X-Wing stealthily moves into position and Xes them both of my trusty notebook to my left.  Jim T.K. and the boys turn their craft to the left in a desperate and daring kamikaze move to crash into Dooku's Geonosian Craft, knowing that they were going down anyway after the damage they had sustained.  Lord Tyrannus, ejects out of the craft, leaving his droid to take one for the team and finds himself standing atop the doomed vessel.  Dooku is still pretty spry for an older fellow though and manages to force leap onto the back of The Stealth X-Wing and disable the thrusters with some aggressive negotiations via his ergonomically curved lightsaber.  Omnius, in a multi-armed robot form climbs to the top of the ship's hull, where Dooku quickly dispatches him with his Form 2 prowess in a way that would make any ancient ginaz swordmaster proud; before the ship and the Sith Lord plummet to their doom.  

Black Lantern Goblin is simply loving life, err afterlife, or undead life or whatever his new found existence may be.  As a dude who has known nothing but death, destruction, and killing his whole life basically the only difference is that now it is way easier to eat the bodies, souls, brains, and hearts of his victims.  Plus he can fly.  Talk about a win-win.  He is chilling in the open air with his three undead buddies when the three Sub-Ultrons show up to ruin their fun.  The Sub-Ultrons manage to combine multiple energy sourced weapons to take out The Black Lantern and Vampire Star Sapphires; but they can not finish the fight as Bee-El Gob and his brotha from anotha icky-mud-ground-womb Orange Lantern Ghost #1 take out the robot jerks.  

Bill Cipher, in all of his trillions of years of meaningless life states obnoxiously that he has never come across an individual so interesting and powerful as Dr. Fate.  So, he decides to invite Dr. Fate into a burning chaos where the two of them can enter the Nightmare Realm and finally die together.  

Galactus shows up to the match fashionably late after his trusty Herald David Byrne, in his fiery, floating "Talking Head" form told him that he could have a delicious tibanna gas snack by eating the gas giant Bespin.  He is met by the The Anti Monitor and The Spectre at his entrance where the foursome rudely interrupt a skirmish taking place between Bizarro Superman, who is taking on the unlikely partners Hal Jordan and Hank Henshaw.  The Anti-Monitor in a vicious display of power grabs a hold of David Byrne's forehead and instantly overpowers the cosmic programming of Galactus.  He not only enslaves Byrne and returns him to his natural weakened human state; but then commits the unthinkable, as he forces Dave to reunite with The Talking Heads and do a world tour of small venues charging a minimal fee of no more than $17 a a ticket.  The new age, 80s punk fans may have been thrilled; but his suffering before The Anti-Monitor finally allowed Byrne to die was immeasurable.  Galactus, in recompense for the terrible sins committed against his Herald, then swallowed The Anti-Monitor whole and then pointed the cosmic flatulence of his feast towards The Spectre disproving the over-powered nature theory of DC god-tier characters Vs. that of Marvel.  Hank Henshaw and Hal Jordan, like two old armed forces frenemies from different military branches will only refer to each other as "Green" and "Yellow"; but are working very good together against Bizarro.  Bizarro may have a power ceiling that outmatches either one of the lanterns; but not being retarded goes a long way.  They eventually are able to overpower the grey looking Superman thing; because teamwork makes the dream work.  

Atrocitus and Guy Gardner attempt to do a similar buddy good cop bad cop routine on Zeus and Dr. Strange; but it doesn't work out as well for the Meat Suits this time around.  Zeus shoves a lightning bolt up the butt of Guy Gardner just like the Sam Jackson/Die Hard 3 version of the character threatened to do to Bruce Willis, before frolicking away on to the next available okta of clouds.  Atrocitus is naturally angered by this and aggressively moves towards Dr. Strange; but The Sorcerer Supreme moves his hands around dramatically to make Atrocitus disappear.  The wizard is extremely proud of himself, so much so that he doesn't see Slippy Toad fly in out of nowhere and hit him with an advanced missile. 

Power Ring, Wingspan, and Jade team up because they read on Wikipedia that Knull is like super O.P.  And he probably is, I just don't like him because I am super old and I, like any good fanboy nerd prefer characters that came out when I was a kid or long before I was born and this Dude came out sometime around me getting a second divorce and throwing my back out the for first time.  Regardless, Knull shows up all powerful like and stuff and can't even decide if he should act like he is a Spider-Man villain, a Thor villain, or a Silver Surfer villain.  So, he does all three of them at once while tapping into his 642 powers or whatever and vanishes these three tried and true, super rad characters from my childhood so quickly that I can't even tell exactly what he did (so don't try and say I am biased against new comics).  

Black Beetle and Blue Beetle start duking it out something fierce and I have a front row seat to the mayhem.  I could give you the play by play on the action, but instead will go the philosophical route and say that they are really putting pressure on the culture and testing the pulse of the modern political landscape by asking the question of whether or not it is black lives or blue lives that matter.  Me, an intellectual of course knows that the answer is neither and have no problem watching  them destroy each other.  

 The remaining members of both squads double back and regroup with one another and then when they realize there really isn't anywhere to go in this setting they start flying in fast towards each other.  Walker:  Texas Ranger, whom I was originally going to have die in the first act because I know of no canon inference that would make anyone think he was capable of piloting a B-Wing leads the way for The Meat Suits.  He is of course still here, because when I attempted to move towards his B-Wing at the beginning of the match to let him know my opinion, Walker looked me in the eyes and threatened to round house kick me in the face; so I let it slide.  Now that we are well into the match, it would appear the Texas Ranger is doing a Hell of a job in the cockpit.  The McRibs take up a defensive position while Zeus provides some cloud cover and his four flying teammates surround him.  Wong and Blackfire become locked in a pitched battle against Hank and Hal, while Galactus decides to showcase his jealousy of a new O.P. Marvel villain after being the top dawg for so many decades and completely disintegrates Knull.  Slippy Toad, blasts through the clouds in a search for Zeus with Gee-El Gobs and The Orange Ghost as his wing men on either side (literally just hanging on to the wings of his Jedi Starfighter).  Zeus seemingly comes out of nowhere to deliver two simultaneous lightning bolts to The Black Lantern Goblin (one CC and one CG).  These multiple energies destroyed him, while his Orange Lantern buddy met a similar fate when he tried to occupy the body of the god of Lightning but found that the being was far too powerful to allow that to happen.  Zeus, then ripped Slippy Toad directly out of the cockpit of The Jedi Starfighter and jumped in to take his place thinking he was about to have some real fun in this stolen steel air chariot; but the Gonk Droid in the back went into self-destruct mode after Slippy was thrown from the vehicle which ignited the ship, including the hyperdrive which caused an enormous enough bang to send Zeus back to Elysium.  Starman has hit Walker's B-Wing with an especially nasty bit of energy from his cosmic rod that has taken the Rebel Ship out of commission; but Walker has leapt out of the vehicle to upper cut Starman's head off.  Walker, I assumed would have instantly fallen to his death; but thus far is keeping himself airborne by repeatedly roundhouse kicking in a helicopter type motion.  Back to Wong and Blackfire Vs. Yellow and Green, which is still a skirmish going strong.  The two remaining McRibs focus all their magical and Tamaranean powers towards Hank Henshaw which mix together well against the Cyborg-Superman-Daxomite-Yellow Lantern Baddie.  Hank manages to grab a hold of Wong and rip him in two with his last burst of strength; but Blackfire is then able to finish him off with an intense blast of ultraviolet energy.  With Blackfire in a weakened state from defeating such a powerful foe Hal Jordan is able to defeat her with her biggest weakness.  Not a weakness against Tamaraneans; but against every woman in the galaxy when he uses his green energy ring to hit her with a giant burst of accountability.  Hal, then sweeps in and uses his energy ring to create a net and catch the roundhouse spinning Walker who thanks him stating that he "wasn't sure how many more hours he could keep that up". 

Week 4 Democracy: Billy Cosby and Scar-Jo's Leather Pantsed Trash Pandas Vs. The Underhills

 Bill Cosby & Scar-Jo's Leather pantsed Trash Pandas are:  Thor, Iron Man, Adam Warlock, Cosmos, Shockwave, Voltron, Windrazor, The Honey Nut Cheerios Bee, Emperor Palpatine in his Personal Shuttle, The Battlestar Gallactica containing:  Commander William Adama, Jack Bauer, Wesley Snipes, Paz-Visla, Cara Dune, George Washington, Benjamin Harrison, Lyndon Baines Johnson, Donald Trump (in a Penguin Suit), Colleen from Sandy's, & Sue from The Copper Door, The Milano containing: Star Lord, Gamora, Drax the Destroyer, Groot, Rocket Racoon, Nebula, & Mantis, The Marauder containing:  Hunter, Wrecker, Tech, Crosshair, Echo, & Omega, and A Chinese Spy Baloon containing:  Chines IPhone Worker  #1-2.

The Underhills are: John Stewart (final death), Blue Lantern #4A, Green Lantern #3A-4A, Kyle Rayner, Samwise Gamgee (w/ a blue lantern ring), Miguel O'Hara (w/ a green lantern ring), V (for Vendetta) (w/ a green lantern ring), Raven, Steel, Parasite, Batwing, Revan Reborn in Anakin's Jedi Starfighter, The Aerialbots: Silverbolt, Skydive, Fireflight, Slingshot, & Air Raid, Ikaris, Nova (Sam Alexander), The Wasp, Starkiller in a TIE Silencer, Darth Talon in  a X-Wing, Bastilla Shan in a X-Wing, & Juhani in a Jedi Starfighter.  

Grayson's Goobers Vs. The Sigmaz

 Grayson's Goobers are:  Shazzan w/ Chuck and Nancy on Kaboobie, Mr. Mxyzptlk, Alan Scott, Deadman, Vegeta, The Fantastic Four in The Fantasticar, The O.G. Guardians of the Galaxy:  Yondu in Grayson's F-22 Raptor, Charlie-27 in Geonosian Spy's Ship, Vance Astro in a F-18, Starhawk in a MIG-29, Martinex in a MIG-29, & Nikki in an F-35, Stark Android #2-5, Hyperion, The Fly, Loki and Bartleby, (Legends) Luke Skywalker w/ R2-D2, George Lucas, & Tom Cruise in The Raven Claw, Conner Weidman:  The Drink, IG-88, Skyfire, Meta-Knight, Blades, & Dash Rendar & Leebo in a 2 Seater B-Wing.

The Sigmaz are Goku, Nazgul #7 on Fell Beast, Magus, Odin, Bachuss & Pan, Terminator(3) on Pegasus, Spawn, Brightburn, Swoop, Sunstorm, Cyclonus, The 1st & 2nd Sweep, Master Chief and Nightstick in an F-14, Asura, Powerglide, & Snake Eyes in an F-5 Tiger 

Week 3: TEAM vs Scar Jo's Leather Trash Pandas

TEAM: God Emperor Leto, Hasimir Fenring, Titan Cymek #1-2, Istian Goss, Moritani Soldier #1-15, Abulurd Harkonen, Yakub, Tom Bombadill, Beta Ray Bill, DC Thor, Tripticon, Chris Artrip w/ Inquisitor Lightsaber, Julie Artrip, Ella Artrip w/ Courtney Love’s Gun, Jack Artrip w/ Tanooki Suit, Ben Artrip w/ Ninja Star, Loki, Set, Chattari #3-6

Leather Animals: Thor, Adam Warlock, Paul Maud Dib, General Grievous, Zaheer, Ghazan, P’Li, Ming-Hua, Vision, Lucius Malfoy, Alia Atreides, Count Glossu Rabban, Duke Leto Atreides, Scytale, Avatar Roku, Tlaloc, Bene Gesserit Reverend Mother #1-10, Hrethgir #1

Duke Paul Muad’Dib Atreides, leader of this rebel squadron, stands at the forefront of battle at the command of Scar Jo’s word. “Wait… one second… pssssst, Lucius do the thing” Paul whispers. “Oh right, my duke…” Lucius turns his body, “AVADA KEDAVRA!” And just like that, the guy who emma describes as “slimy” has killed his own teammate, Duke Leto Atreides, so that Paul could have the rightful heir to the throne without contest. Naturally, Paul, who ordered the assassination, then slides his crysknife into Malfoy’s chest as payment for “justice”. It’s all very weird politics, but now the only person left to overthrow is Paul’s own son, God Emperor Leto… at least this one’s on the other team.

Considering Wallach IX is simply desert and remains of a long forgotten civilization, the other team, TEAM, saw all this unfold. The art of sneaking is simply not an option in this desolate setting. Therefore, an all out brawl occurs before our eyes. I could swear this fight was written and directed by Amazon based on how absolutely gorey it is. It’s chaotic, there’s limbs flying about, blood splattering everywhere, indistinguishable screams… chaos.

…

Some time later… after some well thought out canceling out of characters on each team…

…

The fighting has settled down, the sun begins to set. Some characters were worn down by the battle and died due to the climate rather at the hands of another character. Tripticon fell into this category because the metal machine simply got too bogged up by sand… L bozo transformer. All that is heard now are the deep breathing of the few remaining characters on each team…

God Emperor Leto leads Tom Bombadill, Beta Ray Bill, DC Thor, Chris Artrip, Julie Artrip, Loki, and Set.

Kwisatz Haderach leads Thor, Adam Warlock, Vision, Alia Atreides, Avatar Roku, and Bene Gesserit Reverend Mother #1-10.

The first to rest up and get back to their feet is Julie Artrip who begins frantically looking for her children. Too soon she finds their bodies, lifeless, “CHRIS!! HOW DARE YOU?!?! HOW COULD YOU NOT PROTECT OUR CHILDREN?!?! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!” Naturally, Chris is the one to blame for such a thing, and somehow with her itty bitty short body she is able to chokehold Chris into the air and snap the life from his neck. Then she goes into the ultimate fury and starts resisting the Reverend Mother’s voice and mows down half of them before Vision sends a beam through her heart. 

This starts a chain of events where Set snaps at vision. 

Thor Thunderbolts Set. 

DC Thor retaliates at Thor meaning Thor had killed Thor which in other words Thor died at the hands of Thor because Thor did the thing that killed Thor and now Thor is dead but also Thor is alive. 

But now Thor is also dead because Adam Warlock shoots through him which now it can be said that Thor is dead and Thor is dead and now no Thor is alive. 

Beta Ray Bill responds against the golden boy.

And then Roku ends Beta Ray Bill.

Tom Bombadill goes to stop Roku, but the being who is “master of wood, water, and hill” hath no more power here, for all that remains is the remains of this world. Instead, he walks away from the battle, disgusted with the state of this world.

Scar Jo’s peeps now need to overcome their biggest obstacle… the God Emperor. Before they could mount a proper attack, Leto’s tail whips around and strikes his father first. The Duke is truly dead. The remaining Reverend Mothers shout commands in the voice but they fall on deaf ears for they hold no power over the prescient being that is Leto who followed the Golden Path. The worm-like creature writhes around and tramples the common Bene Gesserit, as well as Avatar Roku. 

Although, Alia expected all of this to occur. She had prepped by covering herself in blood and hid amongst the fallen bodies so that Leto may look past her. And gosh darnit it worked because she just leaped out of nowhere and pushed a crysknife through the face of her own nephew…

Confusion sets in as for some reason the body is changing shape… oh my god it was Loki the whole time shapeshifted to appear as the God Emperor. The true Leto Atreides would never have fallen for suck trickery and comes forth to put Alia down. This was not the first rebel group that Leto has snuffed out, nor will it be the last.

One positive from this battle is that Tom Bombadill, with full control over his domains, has now started to repair the desolate world denoted as Wallach IX. Perhaps one day it will bloom into a new earth-like planet. Tom looks around to say, “I will call you… Middle Earth…”

Week 3: Grayson's Goobers vs Washington Redskins

 Grayson's Goobers Are:

Aragorn, Sheanna Brugh, Lady Jessica, Agamemnon and Juno, Shadow the Hedgehog (w/ The Chaos Emeralds), Espio the Chameleon, Legends Luke Skywalker (w/ a blue lantern ring), R2-D2, Black Knight, Alan Scott, Red Hulk, Sub-Zero, Crown Prince Raphael Corrino, The Padashah Emperor Shadam IV, Sgt. Slaughter w/ (Mercer, Taurus, and Red Dog), Hyperion, Samurai #8, Eternian Soldier #8-9, Badger Mole #1-5, Omnius Robot #1-15, Sandworm #1-10, Fedaykin #1-5

Washington Redskins are:

Sinestro (w/ The White Lantern Ring), Aayla Secura, She-Ra w/ Swiftwind, Skywarp, Kup, Yaddle (w/ Dwarf Ring #7), Even Piel, Dobby, Bat-Mite (w/ Dwarf Ring #6), Theoden King, Krillin (w/ Dwarf Ring #5), Teddy Roosevelt (in a Hammer Bros. Suit), Thundarr the Barbarian (w/ Princess Ariel, and Ookla the Mok), The Silverhawks: (Colonel Bluegrass w/ Sideman, Quicksilver w/ Talleyhawk, Steelheart w/ Stronghold, Steelwill w/ Rayzor, and The Copper Kid w/ Mayday), Darth Plaguis, Keiran Atreides, Walter Day, 

Padishah Emperor Shaddam and Lady Jessica stand in relative safety from atop a rocky clifftop over looking the battle. They mutter quietly to each other about plans as they look at the carnage below that has already taken place. Down below, their ten sandworms have been wreaking havoc upon the Redskins. Five were being ridden by Fedaykins #1-5 and have since fallen in battle. Aayla and Even Piel were able to take out one. The Silverhawks put in work to take out two with the help of She-Ra upon Swiftwind and Sinestro used his white lantern powers to control one of the sandworms into killing the other. Taking out as many sandworms as possible was a key strategy for the Redskins and they are thankful that their casualties, while significant, were not as great as they had feared. 

Still, five sandworms remain. Sheanna Brugh is trying her hardest to help guide and control the these but it is proving difficult even given her unique and gifted powers. While this chaos is going on, one character who enjoys chaos is gathering up all the rings he can. Shadow is rolling in circles and has managed to take out Bat-Mite and Yaddle and is chasing Krilin to complete his dwarf ring collection. Teddy Roosevelt is throwing hammers while Thundarr and his crew try to catch the speedy hedgehog. 

Dobby cowers in fear at the feet of Walter Day who stands in the center of the field of battle in his patented referee uniform quietly enjoying a bowl of soup. The duo has gone largely unnoticed by either team. 

All ground battles continue with some difficulty as many are being tripped up by the five blind moles that are scurrying underground causing our warriors to stumble and fall. Thrilling battles are taking place as Aragorn and Theoden King clash swords but are hesitant as neither wants to kill a friend. Sub Zero manages to freeze She Ra as she rides in the sky on her horse. She falls and shatters into a million pieces on the hard scorched soil. (hasta la vista, baby) Darth Plaguis and Keiran Atreides put in work taking out the GI Joe crew and go to work on the Eternian Soldiers. Atreides, seeing the back of the Crown Prince Corrino to him, uses this opportunity to attack and kill the young noble which gives the Goobers the window to finally finish off Plaguis. 

Teddy has managed to summon Swiftwind and mounts the steed. With his newly acquired gift of flight, he rides up the rocky outcropping to where the leaders of the Goobers stand. Jessica senses the attack and pretends to tie her shoe when Teddy emerges throwing a hammer to the skull of the Emperor. Jessica manages to get her crysknife into Swiftwind as it flies by and Teddy falls from his horse. The two wrestle briefly until Teddy hurls them both off the side of the cliff to their death. 

Skywarp and Kup take significant damage defeating Red Hulk and decide to charge at the two of the remaining Sandworms in sacrifice. Skywarp manages to jump into the gaping maw of one and explode, killing them both but before Kup can finish his off, Black knight uses his ebony blade to slice the legs off the autobot. Black Knight stands over him to finish the job and as he puts the blade to Kup’s neck, Kup manages uses his last bit of fuel to crush the marvel superhero into goo. Kup lets out his last breath of exhaust as the sand drinks up his oil. 

Now in the final minutes, Sinestro has taken out two more sandworms and now Sheanna can willfully control the last one without distraction. Sinestro opts to focus his efforts on regrouping with the remaining Redskins to try for a final attack. 

Theoden King, who finally decided to finish off his Dunedain Ranger buddy, has just finished stabbing the last Bader Mole. They were a little tricky but easy to see. Looking around to see who’s left he sees that only Himself, Keiran Atredies, Aayla Secura, Thundarr, Quicksilver and The Copper kid are all that is left to fall back with Sinestro.

They make a final charge at the Goobers. Who have Luke, R2D2, Hyperion and Alan Scott (as well as the Sandworm causing all the ruckus. Aayla clashes sabers with Luke and loses. Quicksilver is quickly dodging punches from Hyperion while the Copper Kid manages to use his technical skills to reprogram R2D2 into a bomb and programs him to return to luke. It’s his last act alive as Alan Scott busts his head open. Sinestro Returns the favor on Scott. Luke senses the disturbance in R2 and force pushes him out of the way. As R2 explodes, shrapnel takes out Theoden and causes the Hyperon and Quicksliver battle to briefly stop. Thundarr charges at Hyperon with his magical sword but instead gets a death blow to the head. Quicksliver and Atredies try to combine forces but are not able to get past Luke. Sinestro and Luke stare each other down. Sinestro tries to control the mind of the Jedi Master but the force is too strong. 

The screams of Dobby as the last sandworm devours him and Day flow unobstructed across the desert floor. In a split second of distraction, Sinestro looks back as his last teammates are being swallowed and feels the green lightsaber blade run through his torso.