Saturday, September 8, 2012

The Season 5 All- Star Game

“Ahh, Asgard is beautiful this time of year. It is nice to finally be in a place that is fitting for those as powerful as us. Is it not, Krisatu”? Says the mighty Joshatu to his fellow Watcher. “It is indeed Joshatu, but when are you going to bring forth the teams to do battle”? Is the retort from Krisatu the great. “I have already brought them forth and they are e waiting in separate wings of my palace as we speak. I am just having trouble with this event as a whole. It is no secret that I have never cared for the All Star Game. I don't like witnessing anything that the deaths don't count in, so I think I am going to do it a bit differently, and perhaps have a series of one on on matches decide the outcome”. Says Joshatu. “But the deaths mustn't count, this is an exhibition for the sole purpose of”... Krisatu is interrupted by Joshatu with: “I already lost this argument with Ryatu and Bryatu five years ago, I have no need to have it again. The deaths don't count in this match, just like they never have. That doesn't mean I have to like it”. Krisatu speaks: “And this idea that you would stage a bunch of one on one fights between the characters? You can't do that, this is a match, like any other and it must be looked at as such”. Joshatu retorts with: “With all do respect Krisatu, I will do what I must, and even more plainly, I will do what I want. I am the all-powerful Joshatu and I will manipulate this exhibition however I see fit, besides with our league up in the air; there is no commissioner to question my authority over this match anyway, now be a good little watcher's helper and hand me that notebook with the two teams in it, so I can decide who will do battle with whom”. Krisatu gives a dirty look to his fellow watcher, but hands him the notebook nonetheless. “Here is the page with the Lucas Division, and here is the Stan Lee Division” says Krisatu as he hands the notebook to Joshatu. “Let me cross these division names off and replace it with National League and American League, it is what I still prefer, so therefore it is how I will write it”. Says Joshatu. “Well, aren't we the smug little man today Joshatu”. The great Krisatu says to the weaselly watcher. Joshatu chuckles and retorts with a smile: “You mean smug little god”. Joshatu looks upon the piece of terrestrial dead tree which he still insists on using despite the numerous forms of recording information that are at his disposal, and the snide look on his face takes a turn toward ultimate snideness. “According to this, The National League has more characters than the American League. AND WHERE IN BLAZES IS SILVER SURFER”?!!? Krisatu retorts: “Silver Surfer did not make the All Star Game this year”. Well, this will be remedied. Joshatu then snaps his finger and Silver Surfer appears with his teammates awaiting whatever mockery of a match Joshatu decides to make of this year's All Star Game Tradition.

Joshatu looks to Krisatu as if he requires a preliminary witness to what he is about to do. “Here will be the rules” he says. “I will hand pick the individuals for each fight, and then the League with the most victories shall be crowned the winner. Simple, short, and sweet. Now, are there any objections?...”? Krisatu chimes in with: “Yes, several objections. First off, I...”. “Good, then we shall begin” Says Joshatu.

First Match: President Barack Obama Vs. Ron Burgundy.
Setting: A room in Joshatu's Asgardian Palace.

“Mr. President, it's an honor to meet you. I am a supporter of yours from way back. I even loved you back when you were never running a business or a government. I have a community organizing background myself ya know. I even loved you when you were chilling with Rev. Wright and trying to regain your blackness, that you had spent your early years ignoring. But I know how it is, I am a bit of a big deal myself. In fact, over the years, some members of the female persuasion have commented that my home is a little oval office-like. But, I imagine you may want to get down to business. But maybe not... I see you haven't pulled out those lightsabers from your suit coat yet, which means maybe you want to talk to the good Ol' Ronster a little bit more before I give you a fistful of free passes to the gun show”. Barry shakes his head and says, “ya know Ron, I can call you Ron right? Never mind, don't answer that, of course I can. I can't even remember if I charged my lightsabers up yet. I'll have to do it right after this contest”. “Well Mr. President, I'm not sure that you are going to be around after this contest, especially once the Ronmobile comes driving over your FACE!” Says Ron in his most intimidating tone. “Yeah... Sure... That sounds great”. Says the president. He then pulls out General Grevious' old blaster and plants a bolt right in Ron's chest. Barry then pulls a Marlboro Red out from his soft pack and says with a laugh “Soooo uncivilized” (he's been dying to say that ever since he got that thing).
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA IS VICTORIOUS!!
N.L. 1 A.L. 0

(Kingdom Come) Superman Vs. Power Girl
Setting: The highest Asgardian Mountain Top.

“So, what is up? My cousin from a couple dozen... worlds. You ready to do this”? Asks Power Girl. “Hmm, attempted super hero witty banter reminds me of why I went back to being a farmer”. “Okay, fine. In that case let's forget the pleasantries and just do this thing”. Says Power Girl as she cracks her knuckles and rushes towards Supes. A crash of dust a natural debris goes flying in to the cosmos as the nearby second highest Asgardian Mountain Top quickly becomes the first with the destruction of the setting from the whirlwind of power being displayed. I do my best to keep watch over the melee (and by melee, I mean Power Girl's breasts). But I am barely able to see through the dirt and rock being displaced at such a rapid level. When the smoke clears, I see a battered and bruised Superman... Standing tall over the dead body of Power Girl.
SUPERMAN IS VICTORIOUS!!
N.L. 2 A.L. 0

Odin Vs. Grand Jedi Master Luke Skywalker
Setting: Odin's thrown room.

“I apologize for the unfairness of this match human. It is bad enough for you, that you must face the mighty Odin, but giving me home field advantage, seems truly unnecessary”. Says Odin to his opponent. As I recall, the first Sith Lord I ever took out was in a throne room. And in case you haven't done your research on who I am... I am a tad bit more powerful than I was back then”. Luke then charges at Odin with his lightsaber ignited dodging and/or ripping through the minor enemies and illusions of such that Odin is creating along his way. Large soldiers, mighty beasts of old, and minotaurs are all created to block Skywalker's path but the quick moving and agile Jedi still easily reaches the throne of Odin. Luke swings his lightsaber down toward the chest of Odin but the magical spear of Gungnir instantly appears in Odin's hand to block the saber's green energy blade. The two of them parry each other's swings when Luke backflips out of the fight to try another approach. Odin speaks: “Silly human. Your remove yourself from this fight, when your skills as a swordsmen were probably your only chance against me”. With these words still floating in the air, Odin pulls all The Asgardian energy from around him and within him creating a temporary vacuum in the air surrounding them both. With this massive amount of energy he has conjured, he then unleashes the full power of The Odin Force upon his opponent. Luke, in the blink of an eye sheathes his lightsaber and attempts to block the Odin Force with his hands. The two powerhouses are locked in a cosmic struggle with an unimaginable dose of power between them. Luke's hands begin to bleed, and the hair on his head begins to ignite and burn off of his head. Odin stands firm with none of the power coming back at him, but he does not let up until every morsel of Odin Force he can muster is thrown in the direction of The Grand Jedi Master. Even after Odin is done, the Odin Force still tries to penetrate the physical form of Luke, but Luke is able to contain the power within a massive ball of energy in front of him. Luke struggles to contain the power, when he pushes out a sentence: “Actually Odin... the only power... great enough to destroy you... Is your own”. With that being said Luke uses his intense mastery of the force to redirect the Odin Force back at it's creator, in one concentrated burst.
LUKE SKYWALKER IS VICTORIOUS!!
N.L. 3 A.L. 0

The Phoenix Force Vs. Dr. Manhattan
Setting: The space just outside of Asgard (but still within The Asgardian Realm)

Words are unnecessary between two beings that are far beyond the languages of humans or aliens. There is no foreplay to begin this encounter, no pleasantries before this meeting, no breaks before this crash, and no delays on the way to this inevitable destination. The Phoenix Force unleashes it's full power on Dr. Manhattan who is almost completely obliterated by it... Almost. Dr. Manhattan takes a almost three full earth seconds to reform himself from this near life-ending attack. And then takes what he would deny but what simpler beings might refer to as revenge as he pulls the Phoenix Force apart on a sub-molecular level.
DR. MANHATTAN IS VICTORIOUS!!
N.L. 3 A.L. 1

Megatron Vs. Invincible
Setting: The Asgardian desert

Invincible flies at Megatron the instant the are transported to the spot of battle. The much smaller super-hero begin pounding on the chest of The Decepticon Leader, putting several decent size dents in his Cybertronian Metal Chest. Megatron swats his opponent away but is surprised to see that the small attacker does not go nearly as far as he expected him to. Invincible rights himself and begins to fly back towards him; but Megatron screams: “USELESS FLESHBAG!! HOW DARE YOU STAND AGAINST THE MIGHT OF MEGATRON”!! As he unleashes the full power of his Fusion Cannon. As the smoke clears, Megatron is shocked to see that Invincible is still alive although badly injured on the ground. Invincible begins to get up, which makes Megatron quickly comes back with four more intense shots from his Fusion Cannon to finish off the second part of their battle before it begins.
MEGATRON IS VICTORIOUS!!
N.L. 4 A.L. 1

Santa Claus Vs. The Anti-Monitor
Setting: The Icy Tundra of Asgard

The Anti-Monitor begins stomping towards St. Nick leaving craters behind him in his wake. Santa begins backtracking towards a small cave he noticed when he says under his breath: “Why do I always get the impossible jobs”. Santa works as quick as he can, with limited supplies from the small trees and bushes just outside the freezing cold cave to build a small wooden box that is barely big enough for him to sit. “I like building stuff like this a lot more when I have a full year to do it” says Santa to the curious Asgardian animals that have flocked around him. He then pets the four large Asgardian Beasts gingerly and throws reins around them with a little magic dust. “This stuff usually only works on Christmas Eve and in The North Pole, but hopefully this Asgard place is mystical enough to make it work here”. He says to his new found friends. Santa is pleased to see that his plan is working as he rockets out of the cave in record time with his makeshift sleigh and four magic... whatever these things are. He begins his full frontal attack on The Anti-Monitor yelling: “On Ulmer, On Yeffle, On Gimmell and Steffle”!! (Hey, give him a break, he had to come up with those names pretty quick). Santa is quite pleased with what he was able to accomplish, all before the Anti-Monitor could stage his first attack, but he is still unsure of what he is going to do once he does get there... Other than catch a consuming blast of Anti-Matter energy from The Anti-Monitor.
THE ANTI-MONITOR IS VICTORIOUS!!
N.L. 4 A.L. 2

Dora the Explorer Vs. Kang the Conqueror
Setting: Back in The Asgardian Throne Room.

Kang wanders up to Odin's throne and has a seat. He thinks to himself that this is a spot he could definitely get used to if he ever decided to settle down in one realm or time. Dora sneaks around the nooks and crannies of the throne room nearly undetected when she sneaks up on Kang from above. Dora drops from the ceiling, igniting her lightsabers in mid-drop. She lands on what she thinks is Kang lightsabers first, to find that she has landed on not only a hologram of Kang; but a device that instantly transports her to another time all together.
KANG THE CONQUEROR IS VICTORIOUS!!
N.L. 4 A.L. 3

Cordelia Chase Vs. (Black Lantern) Incredible Hulk
Setting: Asgardian Forest

Cordelia Chase has a frightening vision of The Hulk screaming “BLACK LANTERN HULK SMASH” while crushing her entire body... Right before it happens.
BLACK LANTERN HULK IS VICTORIOUS!!
N.L. 4 A.L. 4

President George Washington Vs. King Leonidas
Setting: Still in The Asgardian Forest

King Leonidas, in all his buffness, is surprised to find that his opponent is a good four inches taller than he is, and pretty built himself. The two leaders of great nations draw their swords and clash in a mix of melee combat. Washington parries Leonidas' first five swings but is on the defensive the whole time. Leonidas than swings hard in a downward motion with his broad sword to break Washington's Cutlass and knock it from his hand. Leonidas then delivers a powerful kick to the chest of George which breaks three ribs and sends him sailing to the ground flat on his back. The King of Sparta then quickly regains his footing and rushes to finish off Washington who he sees swordless, but holding a small curved object. Leonidas begins his finishing swing as he says: “I can tell you are a worthy and noble opponent. You have fought well”. “Not that noble” says Washington as he fires a shot from his flintlock pistol directly between the Spartan's eyes.
PRESIDENT GEORGE WASHINGTON IS VICTORIOUS!!
N.L. 5 A.L. 4

Yoda Vs. Wolverine
Setting: … Let's keep rolling with The Asgardian Forest, shall we? (“Whatever” says Krisatu).

Snikt-snikt/shoom are the only sounds heard as these two opponents weapons are popped. Claws clash with lightsaber as the two master swordsmen do battle. Yoda leaps over top of Wolverine, who swings at the flipping Jedi and slices off part of his ear (Van Gogh style). But on Yoda's way down he removes Wolverine's head. The head lay right next to Wolvie's body as Yoda picks up his walking stick and begins hobbling away. But he turns around after he feels a disturbance in the force, to see Wolverine's head fusing back on to his body. Yoda watches with a curious gaze as Wolverine after some time stands up and says: “Yeah Bub, killing me can be pretty difficult”. “Hmm, then fight harder I must” says Yoda in retort. Yoda yelps as he reignites his lightsaber and begins a flurry attack. He backs his swings up with the force to work his saber through the adamantium, as he slices off Wolvie's left arm, then right leg, then right hand, and finally the head again. He then for good measure slices the torso in half and force pushes all six parts as far away as possible in different directions.
YODA IS VICTORIOUS!!
N.L. 6 A.L. 4

(Black Lantern) Bryan Beckerman Vs. (Kingdom Come) Wonder Woman
Setting: On top of an Asgardian Peasant's house.

Becks speaks: “Nice boobs”. Wonder Woman responds: “You're an A**hole”. Becks comes back with: “You know, I know who you are, and I know that you are really tough; but I'm a Black Lantern and the only way I can be killed is by the combining of two lantern rings. And, ummmmm...... I don't see any of those around here, so I don't really think you can kill me... Ha. Just sayin”. “Really, that's crazy. Well, explain this”. Says Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman proceeds to beat the snot out of Beckerman, until he stops talking... It takes a while.
WONDER WOMAN IS VICTORIOUS!!
N.L. 6 A.L. 5

Adara vs. The Silver Surfer
Setting: The space just outside Asgard (but still within the realm).

Adara inadvertantly charges Silver Surfer's green lantern ring up to 200% But it is the power cosmic he uses to destroy the blue entity... Sorry readers, perhaps this wasn't the greatest match-up.
SILVER SURFER IS VICTORIOUS!!
N.L. 6 A.L. 6

Stone Cold Steve Austin Vs. Mandalorian Justin Oblak
Setting: The open plains of Asgard.

Stone Cold cracks a beer and slams it down his throat. He then crushes the can and throws it to the ground. “See these muscles little man. These are what I am going to use to break your puny neck. You don't really think you can stand up to this body do ya. I could swat you like a fly”!! Says Austin, allowing for a retort from Justin who says: “Ya know, you are absolutely right. Except of course for the undeniable fact that I have all of this really cool gear. Ya know, like a rocket, a couple of blasters, a jet pack, oh yeah and my personal favorite... A flame thrower. Which reminds me that I am really in a flame thrower kind of mood today, so I think I am going to use it”. Stone Cold flexes his muscles once more time and begins arrogantly walking towards Justin, who blasts him with a huge burst of flame. The Mandalorian speaks: “I thought he smelled bad... On the outside”.
OBLAK IS VICTORIOUS!!
N.L. 6 A.L. 7

(White Lantern) Hal Jordan Vs. (White Lantern) Batman
Setting: The clouds outside The Asgardian Palace.

“Hello Bruce” says Hal. He finishes: “I know that your skills are formidable, but when it comes to these lantern rings, we both know only one of us here can even somewhat manipulate its powers”. Batman nods and then begins the only plan he could come up wit. He relies not on his ring but on his trusty utility belt as he throws down some smoke to try and cause a diversion and then pulls out a batarang in attempt to shatter the ring on Hal's finger. But in the end it is shown that Hal is right after all. Hal Jordan uses his white ring to absorb the white ring on Batman's hand which in no way harms the caped crusader. Falling through the clouds without the benefit of the flight power of the white ring on the other hand is a different story.
HAL JORDAN IS VICTORIOUS!!
N.L. 7 A.L. 7

“Hah!! You're little game is over and the two sides tied”!! Says Krisatu to his fellow watcher. “So, now what are you going to do?? Huh... Huh. Because anybody who has ever sat at a watcher meeting with your annoying a** knows that the only thing you hate more than matches without deaths, is matches that end in a tie”. Joshatu retorts: “As much as it pains me to say this Krisatu, you are right. I guess we are going to have to have a round two. Damn... I really just wanted to enjoy the rest of my day up here in Asgard”.

ROUND 2
Setting: Just outside Joshatu's Asgardian palace in the Ambrosia, Bacon, and Michelob Light Garden (I'm sick of all this moving around).

President George Washington Vs. (Kingdom Come) Wonder Woman

“I refuse to do battle with a woman”. Says General Washington defiantly. “It's quite alright George. In the future, woman can actually vote and hold good jobs, and do whatever men can do. We have made many huge strides since your time”. Says Wonder Woman somewhat sarcastically. “Well, that is great news... I guess, but it doesn't change my opinions”. Says the First President. Wonder Woman is playing catch with herself with a rock, when she finishes the conversation: “Although, I must admit that most women can't do what I am about to do, nor can most men”. Wonder Woman then throws the rock at Washington's head. The rock doesn't stop for another thirty feet after it hits its target.
WONDER WOMAN IS VICTORIOUS!!
N.L. 0 A.L. 1

Luke Skywalker: Grand Jedi Master Vs. Dr. Manhattan

Dr. Manhattan attempts to take apart Luke the same way he did the Phoenix Force, but the force protects him. Luke's midi-chlorians refuse to be tainted by being used for attack; but through great concentration from Luke they freeze Manhattan's powers from inflicting damage on their host Jedi. These two powers are unable to cope with each other, yet neither host is weak enough to stop administering them. The two beings briefly become one for a moment before they vanish to begin a new world on a new and distant plain of existance... Both competitors vanish.
N.L. 0 A.L. 1 (Still).

(White Lantern) Hal Jordan Vs. The Anti-Monitor

Hal Jordan attempts to use the white lantern power to stop The Anti-Monitor, but The Anti-Monitor shifts the battle to The Anti-Monitor Universe and engulfs the power of the White Ring, which actually slightly weakens his destructive powers instead of increasing them. This is still more than enough to destroy the ring's host Hal Jordan.
THE ANTI-MONITOR IS VICTORIOUS!!
N.L. 0 A.L. 2

President Barack Obama Vs. Kang the Conqueror

Kang creates several abstract holgrams of himself in an attempt to toy with the president, who wanders around between them all listening closely to their taunts, and bold statements of mental superiority. Obama speaks: “It is kind of strange, when you think about it. Do you know what we have in common Kang? (No answer) Neither of us have any super-powers. But do you know what we don't have in common... I am the only one who has these really cool lightsabers”. Obama then ignites his saber and drives it in to the chest of the Kang behind him; which just happened to be the true Kang. Luck?? Personally, I think he just had some good intel (gotta keep learning from Bush's miustakes)
BARACK OBAMA IS VICTORIOUS!!
N.L. 1 A.L. 2

Yoda Vs. (Mandalorian) Justin Oblak

“Crap. Are you kidding me. How the hell did I draw Yoda in this piece of s&*t”?!!? Oblak says as he takes aim with his blasters and looks at the upside down vision of his boots... Right before the brain in his detached head stops sending signals to his eyes.
YODA IS VICTORIOUS!!
N.L. 2 A.L. 2

Megatron Vs. Silver Surfer

Megatron takes flight, but soon realizes that his opponent, though much smaller than he is also much quicker. Megatron is unable to land any of the blasts from his Fusion Cannon leveled against his target, let alone actually have time to charge up the cannon with any super-significant amount of power. The Surfer does a fly by on Megatron, than doubles back. He flies at him front on and takes out both of his optic sensors with blasts from the power cosmic. It is then his green energy aura that protects him as he blasts through Megatron's chest and extinguishes his spark.
SILVER SURFER IS VICTORIOUS!!
N.L. 2 A.L. 3

(Kingdom Come) Superman Vs. (Black Lantern) Incredible Hulk
Setting: A little further away from Joshatu's garden (No way I am letting these two screw up my stuff).

This match-up is a disaster. What a mess. These two bohemoths go at it a break everything from fine China three miles away to glaciers and mountain tops underneath their feet. It is pretty fun to watch (and a little scary). I don't know if it is something to do with The Kingdom Come Universe that is not making the normal “Black Lantern Rules” apply; or if this match simply has a really nasty case of: “Watcher don't care”. But when the battered Superman catches the “Smash Hands” of Hulk and uses all of his strength to pull his arms apart, resulting in him pulling his arms right off... It opens the Hulk up to an undefensible building-shattering kick to the face that kills the lantern, just like it would anybody else (maybe the added dose of super-heat vision helped).
SUPERMAN IS VICTORIOUS!!
N.L. 3 A.L. 3

“CRAP!! Don't even start with me Krisatu!! I KNOW, another tie. Well, screw this let's take a break before round three. I'm hungry and these characters could probably use a rest. Let's take an hour, everybody go back to the separate wings of the palace and enjoy some rest. We'll start Round three after that...

Wonder Woman, The Anti-Monitor, and Silver Surfer don't have much to say to each other in the American League Wing; but Yoda, Barack, and Supes are pretty good conversationalists, and are enjoying each other's company. They are actually even feeling pretty laid back until the most intense member of The Commandos decides to come back... A flash of light appears in the corner of the room that startles the whole team. Barack speaks: “Dora?!!? What are you doing back? You lost to Kang in Round One; by the way, I smoked that punk for you in Round Two. Dora responds: I know, I've been stuck traveling through time ever since I got stuck in Kang's makeshift machine. I came back because I have grave news. There may still be time to fix it, but I came back to tell you that we lose in Round Three!! Superman beats Silver Surfer, but Yoda loses to The Anti-Monitor and Barry loses to Wonder Woman. But I know together if you can come up with a plan Mr. President that with your mind, Supes' brawn and Yoda's powers we could defeat the A.L.”. “And don't forget that we have the most dedicated soldier in FFL History back on our side. It looks like we may have just tipped the scales”. Says Barack. The President finishes with this: “The plan is simple. We move now. They aren't expecting any action until the Watcher says that Round Three is starting. So we hit them by surprise and try to single them out. WE MOVE N.L.”!! The team moves against the Anti-Monitor first who is indeed by himself, but isn't so easily taken by surprise. The Anti-Monitor instantly grows to a Mammoth size, breaking through the palace walls. He attacks ferociously against his attackers, but The National Leaguers are finally able to work together. Barack and Dora both ignite double lightsabers to act like they are the first wave of attack but they break off in a “V” formation as a distraction. Superman than picks up Yoda and launches him to the top of The Anti-Monitor. Yoda force pushes their opponents upper body so hard that it cause him to flip backwards. Superman then flies like a rocket in to the back of The Anti-Monitor bending his entire enormous body in half. The N.L. regroups as The injured Anti-Monitor pulls himself back up. Superman then throws Yoda once again this time straight at The Anti-Monitor's chest and this time with the Jedi Master's green lightsaber ignited. Superman takes flight and follows right behind the airborne Yoda who cuts a hole in the chest of their opponent. The Anti-Monitor is unable to heal the wound, because Superman is right there behind Yoda to fly into the chest of The Anti-Monitor and rip him apart. The Anti-Monitor falls dead, but all this racket has definitely destroyed the team's element of surprise. Silver Surfer and Wonder Woman are now on the scene and ready to do battle with the now tired National League. “How dare you break the rules and attack us unknowingly. Thou art nothing more than a band of disgraced, unoble scoundrels”!! Says Wonder Woman as she flies in side by side with The Silver Surfer. “Oh crap, and I thought I wasn't going to have any real competitors this year”. Says Barack Obama as he, along with Dora both throw a lightsaber in the direction of the American Leaguers. Wonder Woman and The Surfer both bat away the two sabers with ease, but it is just enough of a distraction to make the attack the airborne oncoming Superman that much more effective. Superman flies directly at Wonder Woman, but at the last second diverts his path towards the Surfer, while Yoda, who they didn't even know was there leaps off of the back of Superman towards Wonder Woman. With one super-powered punch Supes is able to bust in half the cosmic surfboard of Norrin Radd while Yoda lands on Wonder Woman's back. The Surfer blasts at Superman from his downward freefall, but Supes is able to fight back with a powerful burst of heat vision. The last son of Krytpton then quickens the fall of Silver Surfer by pounding him into the Asgardian Soil from several hundred feet up. Wonder Woman takes a cue from Superman by grabbing the flightless Yoda off of her back and rocketing him towards the ground. But Yoda, from a freefall of his own throws his lightsaber into the face of Wonder Woman. Yoda attempts to slow the fall of his small body by force-pushing against the ground, which provides Barack enough time to get under the Jedi master and catch him. Dora speaks: “That was really nice of you Mr. President, but it doesn't really matter. Yoda and I are already dead ya know”.......

18 comments:

Josh the Commish said...

The National League is Victorious!! (AKA The George Lucas Division)

A.L. All Dead

N.L. Yoda, Obama, Superman, and Dora Survive.

(Not that that matters).

Krisatu said...

Very cool concept. I liked it, though I completely disagree with the BL Beckerman/Wonder Woman outcome.

Wonder Woman would lose, because the ring would just keep reforming Becks for hours and hours. Eventually, she'd tired from pounding on him giving BLB the chance to tear her heart out. Plus it's a well documented fact that BLB can lets the ladies pound him all night long.

Lickolas said...

Dude, that was f#&$ing awesome! A perfect way to cap off the season. Very original as well, I really loved it (and not just because three of my team members survived).

Josh the Commish said...

Ha. You're inevitable disagreement was part of the fun Chris!! And thanks Nick, glad you liked it!!

Ryan said...

The Commandos roll again.

Loved the originality of the match Josh!

Agreed Nick, great way to cap off this season.

Krisatu, Wonder Woman would have totally won that match. She would have used her golden lasso to David Carradine his ass.

Krisatu said...

Ryan- Yeah, but that doesn't stop the ring from reforming him. Beckerman isn't what she'd have to neutralize, the ring is. She choke choke him, whip him, do whatever she wants to the body. She's gotta stop the ring in order to truly win, and that's not happening without a combo of a green ring and another color from the spectrum.

Josh the Commish said...

Thanks Ryan!! Glad you got my back. And on a Wonder Woman issue even!!

Josh the Commish said...

What if Beckerman got so sick of getting his butt kicked that he wouldn't let the ring reform him anymore? Perhaps the ring would give up and try and find another corpse to animate??

Krisatu said...

Josh- The ring is pre-programmed to form Beckerman,he has no choice or real say on if he's reformed or not. All he wants to do is tear out hearts, by any means necessary. He's take an ass-kicking for hours if it'll get him the kill.

Ryan said...

Perhaps Krisatu.... But this is the ALL STAR GAME!! Where anything and everything is possible. Where we have seen things like Nick Houslander blow a 12 gauge hole into the belly of Achilles.

So.... Needless to say, the idea of Wonder Woman beating a pudgy, Black Lantern ring wielding lawyer isn't the most far fetched concept.

Stan Lee & George Lucas said...

Wow, Joshatu sounds like a brat.

Why change the Conference names back?

NFG Mike said...

If you sever the ring from the finger and keep it away from the body, it wont reform. And if you really wanna get nuts, its possible that her lasso might even destroy a black lantern. But thats purely speculation.

Real Man said...

What I heard I think you need to change your name from "Josh the Commish" to "Josh the Ousted".

Solobeck said...

Guess who just lost the assistance of one pudgy, Black Lantern ring wielding lawyer?

Ryan said...

Heh.


Pudgy.

Heh.

Artifact said...

Awesome match!

And the comment banter is even better.

NL for life.
-Z

Solobeck said...

RYATU:
THE ONLY PUDGY I HAVE IS WHEN I SEE YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE!!! WHY DO YOU SPURN ME SO?!?!

Ryan said...

It meant to be as a term of endearment.

My apology.


Pablo's a b#&@%.