Sunday, March 31, 2013

Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers Vs. Layanderlett's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make A New Family

Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers are Power Girl, Skyfire, White Dragon #13, King Lauffey, Frost Giant #1-6, and Courtney Cox.

Layanderlett's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family are Mr. Freeze, Krypto the Superdog, The Arc Troopers: Captain, Lieutenant #1 and 2, Heavy Weapons Master, and #1-5 w/ Aerial Clone Trooper #1, Meta Knight, Max, Shark Boy, and Lava Girl, Mystery Inc.: Fred, Velma, Daphne, Shaggy, Scooby-Doo, and Scooby Dumb, Vampire Assajj Ventress, Vampire Nick Houslander, Seaworm #7 & 8, Dark Supergirl, Vampire Starfire, Aunt May, Kyle Houslander, Zachary Houslander, Zombie Sonic the Hedgehog, and Iggy Koopa.


Well, dorks and dorkettes Joshatu the Fat and Gas-filled is busy watching The Slaves Vs. The Horsemen, so I am here to fill your brains with the best burp and fart jokes that your moronic little mind can handle (and I might just watch this match while I'm at it). So BLADD-OWHH Or whatever nonsensical thing the kids are saying these days. I'll be honest when I tell you that I can't see the action as well as I should because I am hold up inside this gnarly V.I.P. Watcher trailer with the heat cranked, a fat cigar blazing, and cup of hot coco bigger than Roseanne Barr's Butt. I mean, come on it's freezing out there and I can give you the gist of what is going on from inside here (maybe).

King Laufey is holding court in the largest of the icebergs, surrounded by his six frost giants and his ice queen Courtney Cox. He is swallowing large gulps of mead and consuming mass quantities of meat, while his woman sits on his lap. The two of them indulge in the smell of each others rich farts and they glare at any Frost Giant who dares cover their nose at the smell of their urine-soaked thrones (kings and queens don't get up unless they want to). Laufey and Courtney feel safe and content knowing that their skies are protected by Power Girl, Skyfire, and their white dragon; but The Super Kitties have determination, strength in numbers, dreams of the play-offs within their grasp, ... And a perfect record to maintain. King Lauffey and Queen Courtney of the House of Cox may have selected the most protected spot in the setting; but Mr. Freeze can fairly easily bridge the gap of icebergs with his freeze gun without the benefit of dragons or transformers. The area around them becomes engulfed in solid ice, instead of water; creating a large block of ice where these two entire teams can become locked in battle. Whew, sorry all that nonsense sounded like Josh writing for a second. Let me think of a poop joke... Okay here we go, what smells like poop; but looks like Easter chocolate... Wait for it... Poop molded into a bunny... Ha!! Get it. Anyways...

Power Girl starts by catching up to Zombie Sonic and punching his head off, but then is confronted by the trio of Krypto and Vampire Starfire, being led by Dark Supergirl. Power Girl quickly grabs a hold of Krypto and gets the dog in a strangle hold which cracks his neck. She then powers through the eye blasts of Starfire and comes back with enough heat vision to blast through her neck and remove the vampire's head. From this point Dark Supergirl and her good alternate earth self begin battling like crazy. The bruised and battered Dark Supergirl is able to get the upper hand in the battle and throws Power Girl to the ground. She then sends her foot through the face of Power Girl to finish her off. Supergirl would normally be game for the fight that approaches her, but she is so worn out from the battle with Power Girl, that the six Frost Giants that surround her have little difficulty battering her to death. Oh, and by the way Magwai #2 jumped into the water and has made hundreds of clones of himself, granted they all froze to death, but there sure were a lot of them. Speaking of freezing to death, I don't really need to tell you what happened to Aunt May, do I? Lava Girl didn't do so “hot” either, as she melted through the ice and drowned, but luckily she was able to toss a fireball at Queen Courtney before she went all the way through the ice which burnt Cox's face off.... Now Laufey and the Frost Giants are really mad. Yeah, I'm glad I'm stuck in this trailer, cuz this is about to get real ugly. It's prolly gonna be quick one way or another... Now let's get back to this thing... Skyfire does a strafing run that takes out Vampire Nick and the team's unofficial leader Mr. Freeze; but doesn't realize at first that The Arc Troopers have covertly landed on the Autobot and boarded him. They begin to rip apart the Transformer from the inside; but Skyfire reacts quickly. He divebombs into the water, allowing his entire insides to fill up with the freezing cold water. The Arc Troopers all drown and Skyfire is able to break back through the ice and rejoin the battle. The White Dragon swoops down and blasts Max with some wicked frost breath and then is met by the two ice bros., who the dragon makes short work of. Fred and Velma begin wondering where their powerful Seaworms have run off to, and they decide that they need to get to the bottom of this mystery. They tell Shag and Scoob to go find Shark Boy and tell him to jump in the water and start swimming around making as many waves as possible. The White Dragon enjoys a delicious meal of Scooby-Dumb, but while he is distracted, Vampire Ventress manages to double lightsaber his head clean off. Vampire Ventress then rushes towards King Lauffey, while the Frost Giants begin looming over Kyle, Zack, and Iggy Koopa. “These dudes are huge” screams Zack. “Which ones” replies Kyle as the two enormous seaworms come busting through the ice and take out all involved in the skirmish on both sides with their monstrous crysknife filled mouths wide open. Skyfire lands and begins taking aim at Meta-Knight. The Kirby king and Mystery Inc. try and draw his fire, but it seems like Velma has actually snuck inside the Autobot. Skyfire blasts Fred, Daphne, Shag, and Scoob; as well as Meta-Knight. But suddenly Skyfire transforms and begins to fly directly into the mouth of Seaworm #7, or is it #8, who knows, who cares? Right?? Velma sits behind the reprogrammed controls of Skyfire and says to the Autobot “Ha, bet you didn't think I could reprogram Cybertronian tech did ya?!!? Teach ya to mess with my friends”!! Skyfire then crashes into the mouth of Seaworm #8 killing all involved in the crash.

4 comments:

Josh the Commish said...

Layanderlett's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family are Victorious!!

Dope Fiends: All Dead

Super Kitties: Only Seaworm #7 survives (or was it #8)??

Josh the Commish said...


R.I.P. Power Girl, Skyfire, and White Dragon #13.

Artifact said...

Velma, The selfless hero.

Good match dude.

Ryan said...

Wow. Totally saw this match differently.