S8W1: Midgets vs. Rabble Rousers

The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets are:  

Mr. Mizpitelik (Earth-3) (Manager)

Venom (Flash Thompson) (SS)

Longshot (C)

Azazel (w/ Dooku Red Saber and Deadpool’s Red Saber) (CF)

Duncan Idaho Ghola #5 (RF)

Dean Cain (w/ Blue Lightsaber) (LF)

Mike Troup (1B)

Scrimmell (2B)

Simmell (3B)

Kintaro (Starting Pitcher)

Bat-Boy (Bat boy/DH)

Dave Goverde (Utility)

Nick-Nack (PH)

Teek (Pinch Runner)

Anthony “Tony” DiNozzo (Middle Relief)

Deadshot (Closing Pitcher)

The Real Men’s Rabble Rousers are:

Lloyd Carr (Manager)

Odd Job (1B)

Jules Winnfield (2B)

Vincent Vega (SS)

Vampire Count Dooku (3B)

Franklin Clay (LF)

Jake Jenson (CF)

William Rogue (RF)

Maria Hill (w/Jetpack) (C)

Agent Colsen (w/ Destroyer Gun) (Starting Pitcher)

Rubeus Hagrid (DH)

The Burger King (Utility)

Rob Bartlett (Jedi Padawan) (Utility)

Johnny Cage (Pinch Hitter)

Jeb Bush (Middle Relief)

Nancy Pelosi (Closing Pitcher)

Lloyd Carr is livid. He is screaming as his starting pitcher is being arrested before the game has even begun.

“I am a SHIELD agent! Unhand me!” Screams Colsen. The California State Troopers and FBI agents do not seem to care. In fact, they take pride every time they get a chance to take a shit on the constitution and arrest someone for violation of the state’s absurd gun laws. The head agent tells Carr that he got a tip from someone at the field that Colsen had an illegal weapon that was not registered with the state. On top of that, the gun had a removable magazine and the chamber is not configured for microstamping.

Nancy Pelosi smugly walks up to Carr. “Aww, that sucks. Guess I’ll have to get the start today.”

90 painful minutes later, the top of the first ends. Pelosi has thrown over eighty pitches, 16 balks, and she has sweated through granny panties and into her pants suit. The reigning champs have batted through the order 3 and a half times. Cain and Troup had back to back home runs twice. In between innings, Carr changes the game plan.

“Clearly we are not going to win unless we change their lineup a bit.” Says Carr.  He begins to set up a little sabotage.

Maria Hill charges toward the Midgets dugout before they can take the field.  She ignites her jetpack and in a kamikaze ball of flame, is able to take out Troup, Cain, Goverde, Simmell, Scrimmell, and Kintaro. Rubeus Hagrid uses his magic umbrella to kill Tony Dinozzo. Mr. Mizpitelik runs from the dugout and is face to face with Johnny Cage.

FATALITY!

The umpire calls time just before Mizpitelik’s head hits the ground. He points to the Rabble Rousers dugout and orders Lloyd Carr out to the plate.

“Hmm.  Looks like they don’t have enough players. Do they forfeit?” asks Carr.

“Actually,” says the Ump, “You and your team is in violation of MLB Rule 4.15(b). Or, since you were the home team, I guess you could be in violation of 3.18 as well.  Take your pick, the result is the same, old man.”

An angry Carr and the rest of the Rabble Rousers storm off the field, and into the FFL woodchipper!