The Midgets are: Mr. Mizpitelik (Earth-3), Kama Tui, Salack, Ch’P, Dr. U’Bx, Scar, Supergirl (Ariella Kent), Magneto, Charybdis, Blue Devil, Deadshot, X-23, Vampire X-23, Age of Apocalypse Weapon X, Age of Apocalypse Cyclops, Longshot, Psylocke, Azazel, Venom (Flash Thompson), Deadpool, Omega Supreme, Soundwave (w/ Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Lazerbak, Ratbat, Buzzsaw, Overkill, Slugfest, Squawktalk, Beastbox, Enemy, Wingthing, Flip Sides, Sundor, Garboid, Howlback, Glit, Decepticon Cassette #1-3, Ravage Clone #1-3, Nightstalker, Playback, Rosanna, Stripes, Autoscout #1-2, Autobot Cassette #1-3, and Decepticon #7), Capt. Power, Nazgul #9 w/ Fell Beast, Nazgul #9’s horse, Lolo, Ryachu, Princess Toadstool (w/ Arwen’s sword), Blue Toad, Capt. N (w/ Duke), Pit (Kid Icarus), Mouser, Liu Kang, Ryu, Sharkticons #33-40, Jedi Guardian #4, Jedi Masters #33A-35A, Jedi Masters #17B-20B, Nightsisters #2 and 7, Nightbrothers #1 and 2, Nightbrothers #4-6, Dark Side Adepts #1-3, Ewoks #41-45, Hammer Bros #11-16, Gold Dragons #3-7, Ice Bros #2 and 3, Samurai #20, Ponies #1 and 2, Dragon #1, Griffin #11, and Troll #1.
The Moist Mafia is: ...wait, Moist Mafia? Double-M?! Where are they? What could have happened to them on this, the biggest of non-playoff weeks? Midgets, have you seen The Mafia?
No?! Not even in the Spam box? That was such an easy fix last time! My god, what if they've been kidnapped? Call Fox 2 News, the CrimeStoppers can surely help us gather anonymous tips! Ahg, damn it all, there's no time! We need to be proactive! With my infinite Watcher powers and your combined skills, we can cover the most area possible when putting up these “Lost Squad” posters I printed up at Kinko's©. They've got these tear-off strips with my email address so anybody with information about this missing squad can easily contact... what’s with the dirty looks? You're really not gonna help with the posters? I'm asking so little.
Okay, new plan… Oh! Mitzlepittlek- Mixelpixel? Right, Mizpitelik. Had to scroll up to be sure. Couldn't you just take us to a universe where The Mafia is present? Yeah? Perfect! Let's do that.
Alright, and here we- Oh god, this is horrific! Why are they all inside-out?! What? Everyone in this universe is inside-out? Ugh, no, this is bad. Another one, Mazeltovnik, find another one.
Okay, everyone looks alright on this planet. Let me go talk to them and see if they're competent to… Wait, do you smell that? Why do I recognize… Oh no! It's AIDS! IT’S AN AIDS UNIVERSE! Get us out of here before we’re all shitting our very souls out on out deathbeds!
Where are we now? Hey, wait, I see some Mafiosos over there! Hey, you guys, you here for a deathmatch? Guys…? Oh, come on! They're wooden cutouts! This won't work either.
...or will it?
Posts
9 comments:
The Midgets win! All survive.
The Moist Mafia is painstakingly woodchipped one by one.
They were only cutouts, but at some point I began to hear their screams. They haunt me still.
Ha!! Funny stuff Dave!! Although the Moist Mafia did send in a squad on time. I have it in my inbox, I just didn't realize I was supposed to forward it. And considering that my potential screw up won me this match, we should probably throw this out to the consortium. I'll sort it out this evening.
To be continued.......
The Consortium should demand higher wages! $15/hr, Bernie Sanders for Consortium president!
Oh Crap, he would win in this league if we held that vote. Good thing this is a dictatorship... Phew.
i smell conspiracy. jet fuel can't melt steel beams......
WOOD CHIPPER!!!!
@Brad something else will be posted in regards to this match. This is not your fault or Dave's. It is mine.
Jet fuel can't melt woodchippers!!! THE FIX IS IN, PEOPLE!!! WAKE UP!!!
This went to the consortium and the midgets were victorious in a vote of 5-0. I will post again.
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