Tuesday, April 25, 2023

S14 W6: Sigmas vs TLoEHSG

Sigmas are: The entire following team on an aircraft carrier: Ki Adi Mundi, Qui Gon Jinn, Sardakaur #1-20, Satoro Gojo, Gigachad, Iron Hide, Jhin, Tree Sentinel #1-10, The Fear, The Sorrow, The Pain, The Fury, The End, Griffith, Mouser #1-20, SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Starr, and Gary, Mon-Starr, Mario, Luigi, Waluigi, Muckman and Joe Eyeball, Ramjet, Dirge, and Bene Gesserit #9 & 10 and Ice Man and Slider in a F-14


The League of Extraordinary Heterosexual Gentlemen are: Avatar Aang w/ Star Saphire, Ahsoka Tano, General Kenobi, Martian Manhunter, Superman, Magneto, 21 degens and 2 orc in the 1000 Sunny, Ultron, Van Helsing, Homelander, John Wilks Booth, Robert E Lee


The Sigmas were lost at sea. For two reasons, 1) they never sent in a team so this rag tag crew got thrown together and had no directions. and 2) because they decided the best captain to helm the large aircraft carrier was a sponge.


The sea waves thrashed the giant ship on a planet that is in a constant state of unrelenting storms. The team was exhausted and sick and the battle had yet to even start. Ice Man finally agreed to do a scouting run in the F-14 and they were able to see the lights of Tapoca City up ahead. 


Inside the cloning facility, The Heteros were warm and rested waiting for their opponents to arrive. It had been days but they were happy and being treated very well by the Kaminoans. Suddenly a degen riding an orc came charging in to tell team that the Sigmas had finally arrived. They were wet and soaking because the rest of the team made them stay outside in the 1000 sunny on lookout because they didn’t want to deal with any of their bullshit. 


Ahsoka Tano and General Kenobi charged forward, their lightsabers deflecting the incoming fire as the Sigmas immediately manned the guns and started to take shots at the city structures and supports. The Jedi team moved quickly and fluidly, using their Jedi skills to evade the attacks. Superman, Ultron and Homelander gave them a quick lift and dropped them off on the deck of the ship. The five started to just mow down the exhausted crew on deck. 


Magneto, wasting no time, used his magnetic powers to control the metal of the enemy weapons. He lifted the guns into the air, twisting and contorting them until they were rendered useless. Ice Man and Slider were able to take off in time and went to the sky to shoot down the 1000 sunny. The degens didn’t even see it coming because they were too busy pushing zyns into each other’s assholes. But the ship crashed into the sea and they all ded. It really happened ong no cap. 


Avatar Aang and Star Sapphire combined their powers to create a massive energy shield. The shield was strong enough to protect the entire team from the incoming fire, providing a safe space for them to regroup. Martian Manhunter used his telepathic powers to infiltrate the enemy's mind. He was able to read their thoughts and gain insight into their strategy, providing valuable intelligence to the rest of the team.


On the deck of the ship, Asoka, Kenobi, Ultron, Superman and Homelander charged forward, using their superhuman strength and Jedi strength to plow through the enemy lines. They punched and blasted their way through the soldiers, leaving a path of destruction in their wake. Mario and Luigi were killed hundreds of times but they kept respawning. This is because during their bored week at sea, they just jumped on Gary’s shell for fun and racked up a ton of free lives.


Back up on the deck, Van Helsing, John Wilkes Booth, and Robert E Lee provided covering fire, using their guns and rifles to take out any remaining enemy soldiers they could see. They were able to stay back from the front lines, picking off targets from a safe distance until Ice Man flew his plane into the deck of the city in a kamikaze attack. 


Aang figured enough was enough and started a whirlpool that quickly sent the ship spinning and Magneto used his force to push the aft of the ship down while Martian Manhunter lifted the bow. The ship was starting to swirl and was ready to go down like a turd. The Gentlemen made a hasty escape from the deck of the ship but not before Ki Adi was able to out duel Snips and Qui Gon bested his old apprentice. On their flight out, Supes put a hole in the hull of the ship for good measure ensuring no Sigmas remained on board. The remaining Gentlemen regrouped and watched from the city platforms as the last Sigmas sank.


3 comments:

Artifact said...

The Heteros are Victorious!!

Avatar Aang, Martian Manhunter, Superman, Magneto, Ultron, Homelander survive.

lil bit of a woodchipper this week

Josh the Commish said...

Nice!!!! Fun match Fizz. Good writing. What we used to call in the infancy of The FFL: A good Ol' Motor City Beat Down.

Josh the Commish said...

Oh .. And solid squad Frank. Peeps are legit.