Monday, May 15, 2023

The Trash Pandas Vs. The Sigmas

 "UNLIMITED Scoliosis, Am-I-Rite ladies" Emperor Palpatine mutters to himself as he attempts to work the kinks out of his back after spending some time searching for Yoda in his secluded Hut.  Even Lord Vader could not be trusted in this special mission once Sheev Palpatine found out where his little green friend was hiding so he could try and finish the job he started in the Senate all those years ago and ambush the former Grand Jedi Master of the Republic.  But wouldn't ya know the little guy isn't even home.  Instead, some other curious folk are about, searching through the hut as well.  With the Dark Side extremely hard to use in this domain of good and with Bilbo and his old frenemy Gollum's halfling ability to resist the powers of the Dark Lord, Palpatine is having trouble figuring out what in the Gungan is going on here.  When the Emperor stumbles upon the quintet, Bilbo has already helped himself to some of Yoda's tea and Gollum is eating a raw frog that made its way in the window from the swamp.  "You WILL DIE" Palpatine says rudely as he crouches his way towards the Sigmas; but Bilbo hiding his fear takes a sip of his tea and offers to play a game of riddles with Palpatine instead.  Palpatine thinks that is a rather silly idea and targets Grandslam in his mini tank form first since he looked the most threathening,  The Sith lightning he used for the attack was not very potent due to the setting and Yoda's leftover musk or what have you.  But it was still strong enough to short out and destroy the spark of the Autobot Cassette.  Gollum rushed at Sheev, in a rather psychotic way; lunging for the gold lined lightsaber on the belt of the Sith Lord, questioning its existence as "the precious"; but Palpatine ignited the weapon and quickly showed that it was not a ring as he ran Gollum through.  Palpatine, taken off guard by the strange circumstances of this match begins to slowly move towards the other Sigmas in a half crawl, half crouch movement; but Steeljaw and Nightstalker, comfortable walking on all fours in their Lion and Panther modes target the Sith Lord with their small mounted rockets and blow him up.  A sigh comes over Bilbo as he takes another sip of tea and says:  "Oh, good.  I didn't have any riddles anyway".   

2 comments:

Josh the Commish said...

THE SIGMAS ARE VICTORIOUS!!

-Bilbo,Steeljaw, and Nightstalker survive.

Artifact said...

Bilbo, calm and cool as always. Ha! Nice win Sigmas!