Monday, April 21, 2008

MATCH OF THE WEEK: Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips

Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches are Austin (designated leader), Uniqua, Darth Vader, Sith Lord #3 (Darth Yardigan), Wolverine, Doomsday, Sentinal #4-6, Black Dragon #1-3, Green Dragon #1 & 2, & Warg Rider (w/ Wargs) #1 & 2.



The Horsemen of Apokolips are Darkseid (designated leader), Supergirl, Sinestro, Sabertooth, Shazam, Sunstorm, The Witch King, Achilles, Polaris, Cable, The Balrog of Moria, Sersi, & Elixir.



Achilles goes running out in front of his team with even more than his normal amount of excessive hubris. He has every intention of not just defeating the Backyardigans but of beating them even faster and worse than they (or in his mind him) defeated Team (formally Team Ed). He rushes out toward his opponents and quickly moves through their ranks unharmed to chop off the head of Austin. "Who is your leader now" yells Achilles as he picks up the kangeroo's head to showcase it to his enemies. "I believe that would be me" replies Darth Vader as he walks up slowly with his red lightsaber glowing. Darth Yardigan starts to walk up behind him but Lord Vader waves him away to let him know that this was a fight he would undertake alone. Achilles runs at Vader and jumps into the air with the intention of bringing his sword down inbetween the shoulder blades of the much larger Sith lord but Vader moves amazingly fast for a person who appears so bulky as he moves his body slightly to the side and simply flicks the direction of his wrist to cut off Achilles heal. "All to easy" Vader says. The Greek warrior lay on the ground with his god like essense removed as Vader allows Darth Yardigan to put the arrogant warrior out of his misery. Wolverine and Sabertooth notice each other from across the dessert and instantly run at each other. The 2 teams do not even attempt to interfere as they begin fiercely fighting, biting and clawing at each other. They instantly turn the sand around them red with each others blood but niether fighter lets up for a second. The 3 Sentinals take flight but Polaris makes fairly short work of them as she rips all 3 of them apart by simply looking at them. She is about to attack Wolverine's metal skeleton but Darkseid, referring to the epic battle going on between Sabertooth and Wolverine tells her to leave them alone. She then focuses her power on Darth Vader. She knows that there must be a decent amount of metal in his cyborg body suit but when she attempts to take control of it nothing happens. She thinks that she is feeling short of breath from trying so hard to use her powers until Vader reminds her and everyone on both teams that things do not have to be made of metal for him to take control of them, as he uses the force to pick her up off of the ground and force choke her. Doomsday jumps into action towards The Witch King causing even the sand beneath their feet to want to retreat from the pure evil that is trouncing upon it. Doomsday's superior strength and speed should be enough to defeat The Witch King but luckily for the most evil of all the Nazgul, The Balrog of Moria (who did not even notice that he stepped on Uniqua on the way) as well as Sunstorm come to his aid to help in the fight against Doomsday. The 2 Warg riders come running up toward The Horsemen but Cable takes control of the minds of the 2 riders and makes them pull out their scimitars and stab their own wargs in the backs of their necks to kill them. The 2 orcs are then thrown from their Mordor steeds onto the sandy plains where Cable uses his futuristic rifle to blow them both away. Darkseid believes he is going to have to take on Vader himself if they are going to defeat the Backyardigans but even he wants help so he brings Supergirl with him on his way to do battle with Vader and his apprentice. Darkseid and Supergirl have both seen what lightsabers are capable of since they have been apart of this league which is why they do what they can to keep the fight one of ranged attacks instead of melee. They shoot both Heat vision and Omega Beams mostly unsuccessfullly at the 2 Sith but Darkseid does notice that Vader is pulling his Omega Beams toward his own lightsaber which Darkseid takes as a sign that Vader knows that Darth Yardigan is not powerful enough to handle them. Sinestro, Sersi, and Shazam take to the air and begin doing battle with the 3 Black Dragons while the 2 Green Dragons do a fly by over Cable and coat him with their poisonous breath resulting in a most unpleasant death for the mutant. Sinestro leads the 2 crazy do-gooders on a divide and conquer mission of the 3 dragons. Black Dragon #3 coats Sersi in acid but other than effecting her momentum in the air it has basically no effect on her. She blasts the dragon with cosmic energy to knock it backwards and then rips the dragon's head off of its body. Shazam comes up behind Black Dragon #2 and wraps his powerful arms around its neck. He strangles the dragon into submission and then allows it to plummet to its death. Sinestro refuses to be outdone by the 2 heros as he uses his yellow power ring to create a huge yellow dragon which then consumes Black Dragon #1. Elixir is briefly knocked to the ground as he is hit by the flying head of Sabertooth that was just kicked at him by the victorious Wolverine. The blood covered Wolverine allows his mutant healing factor to take over after he finally used his claws to finish off his much larger arch-enemy. Darkseid ignores his own fight for an extremely brief amount of time to give orders to his troops but it may have been to long. Supergirl sees Darth Vader rushing Darkseid and she flies over to help. Vader takes advantage of the second that Darkseid spent ignoring the fight to force push him onto the ground. Supergirl flies up behind Darth Vader to land a haymaker into the back of his helmeted head but Vader does not even bother to turn around because of his utmost confidence in Lord Yardigan having his back. Right before Supergirl lands what could have possibly been a death-dealing blow Darth Yardigan sticks his crimson lightsaber through her back. Lying on the ground looking up at an attacker is not a situation that the ruler of Apokolips is usually used to and not one that is going to scare him. Darkseid shoots a potent dose of Omega Beam action at Vader but Vader lifts his lightsaber to not only block the attack but to deliver it right back at him, frying Darkseid with their combined powers. Although The Horsemen's leader is dead his orders live on. Right before he died he ordered Sunstorm to do what he does best. The Witch King has done a tremendous job of keeping Doomsday at bay and The Balrog has so far been able to sustain what Doomsday has dished out even with Doomsday slamming into him numerous times but Darkseid knew that he needed to do something to unleash his teammates evil onto Doomsday in hopes that it would clash with his. No one in The Horsemen of Apokolips locker room is quite sure why Sunstorm has developed such an unwavering devotion to Darkseid, Vandal Savage and Apokolips, but they are definitely glad he has. Sunstorm using an almost identical attack as the one used on Galactus crashes himself into the decimated area where Doomsday has been doing battle with the 2 agents of Mordor's particular brand of evil. It is a good thing that there is not a single non-super powered person from either team on the ground as Sunstorm hits because they would of no way survived the explosion of evil and sheer power that was released as this nuclear kamikaze crash disrupts and destroys this trio of hate and destrustion. Sinestro sees that Darkseid failed in his portion of the mission but before he leads his team to fight them he goes on one last Dragon hunt. Sinestro uses his yellow ring to create 2 huge leashes which he lassos around the necks of the 2 green dragons to slow them down so Sersi and Shazam can swoop in to each take one out. Wolverine regroups with the 2 Sith Lords right before Sinestro, Sersi, and Shazam land in front of them. Elixir runs over to help his team as well but he then leaves the area when he notices that there is a better use for his powers. Supergirl is laying on the ground with a fairly large hole in her chest when Elixir approaches. Supergirl knows that the wound is surely fatal as she only wishes that she could muster up enough energy to lend her team just a little bit more help. Supergirl orders Elixir to get back to the fight and help their team but he does not listen. Elixir puts his hands over Supergirl's wounds and then uses his mutant powers to heal her. Elixir then promptly runs back to the battle to help out his team. Elixir knows full well what his ability to change molecular structures and mutant abilities is going to do to Wolverine which is why he runs up to him first. When Wolverine gets to close to Elixir he starts to bleed from many spots on his body as old wounds that his healing factor corrected reopen. Wolverine fights through the pain though as he pops open his claws and says "You don't need a healing factor to do this bub" as he sticks his adamantium claws into Elixir's head. Sersi swoops in to attack Vader but The Dark Lord of the Sith's teammates jump in to protect him. Wolverine and Darth Yardigan both stab her but are shocked when this does not end her life. They then both go into a rage slicing her to ribbons as Darth Vader then uses the force to rip her apart and scatter her atoms into the dessert wind. Sinestro takes to the air and begins taking pot shots of yellow energy at the 3 remaining Backyardigans. The 2 Sith Lords block the shots with their lightsabers but one of the larger shots knocks Wolverine to the ground. Sinestro suddenely appears in front of Wolverine as Logan pops back up to stick his claws into the yellow lantern's chest. Wolverine is confused as his arm goes right through the hologram that Sinestro just created with his power ring as the real Sinestro flies up behind the mutant and creates a giant blade which slices Wolverine in half and fills both sides of his body with enough yellow power to dematerialize every last cell. Darth Yardigan from about 20 yards away avenges his teammate by throwing his lightsaber at Sinestro and putting it into his chest, hitting him exactly where Wolverine thought he was putting his claws. Although the success of this throw was undeniable the attack itself was a rather foolish one because it left the Sith Lord open for an attack from Shazam, who uses his super strength to crush in the head of Darth Yardigan. Darth Vader sees this happen and breaks into one of his intense Sith rages that he is oh-so famous for. Lord Vader force pushes Shazam into a rock and sticks his lightsaber into Capt. Marvel's leg. The Sith Lord then pumps Shazam full of his own brand of Sith lightning reminding him of his lack of foresight in thinking that he could compete with the powers of the dark side of the force. Shazam may not be savable but the healed up Supergirl knows that the battle still is, as she flies up behind Darth Vader at a speed faster than the speed of sound. The last thing the dying Shazam hears is Vader yell "WHAT" as he he hears what sounds like a jumbo jet approaching. This time Darth Yardigan is not there to save his master when Supergirl uses all of her Kryptonian strength to uppercut Vader in the helmet disrupting the life support mechanisms of his suit and causing him severe head trauma.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!

4 comments:

Ryan said...

Can I get an MVP! MVP! MVP! chant going for Supergirl here, or what?!

Superman, Galactus, Darth Vader.

In the words of Achilles:

IS THERE NO ONE ELSE?!?

Valiant battle Bryan. I look forward to the Playoffs. Good luck against Ed.

Solobeck said...

Press Conference After Match:

It is much to my dismay that I am announcing B3's first defeat of the season to The Horsemen of Apokolips. Nonethelees, we take our helmets off to them as they are a fantastic team of players who work together.

As a team who is 7-1 entering into the final two weeks, we believe we are "statistically" in the playoffs and thus can only hope for a rematch against those who beat us first. [We are NOT taking for granted TEAM whom we thoroughly respect and play this week! We are anticipating an extremely close match and if we meet TEAM in the playoffs, we have the same goal: beat them. . .win the League Championship].

With that said, I bring out one of our team's most essential of players, Darth Vader. Darth. . .

Darth Vader: To the Horsemen of Apokolips. The force was with you during our match! Well done! You will NOT be so lucky again. . . By the way, lick what's left of my Mustafar cinged balls!!!! [Please be advised that the views of Vader do not necessarily reflect those of the entire B3 team].

LYA.L. -B2

Ryan said...

Supergirl had this to say in the locker room after hearing Darth Vader's remarks:

I suppose I'd be a little angry too if I recieved my first death of the season from a hot blonde in a mini skirt.

No, but seriously, B3 has an amazing team. Our rivals are gonna have one hell of a fight on their hands this week in the water. Lemme just say this: B3 we'll take care of your rivals, and you take care of ours? Sound good? By the way, you'd like it if someone like me licked those charcoal briquettes you call a set, wouldn't you.

See you in the Playoffs.

Josh the Commish said...

Colorful comments friends and a well fought match by all. Good to hear from Vader and Supergirl as well. To bad they didn't meet under different circumstances, I think they would have made a great couple.