Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve vs. Alice's Wonder Team

I have been appointed by my brethren Joshatu and Ryatu to watch the following Year 2, Week 9 Match: Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve vs. Alice's Wonder Team.

I look into the locker room of The Kennelz and see Mace Windu, Jade, Green Lanterns #1, 2, 4 and 5, Dexter the Dog, Justin Oblak, Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano, The Inhumans: Black Bolt, Medusa, Triton and Karnak, Brandon Inge and Dark Jedi Masters #31-33.

Mace Windu: We need this win. Let the Force guide us to victory!

Anakin Skywalker: I concur Master Windu.

Dexter the Dog barks an encouraging wuff.

I then look into the locker room of Alice's Wonder Team. I see Vampires #1-19.

Vampire #4: Is our owner really serious?!?

Vampire #11: He sure is! We did okay the last time out!

Vampire #7: We can do it again!

I transport the teams to the icy wastelands of Hoth. . .

Ahsoka Tano: Is the Wonder Team’s owner serious?!?!

Across the battlefield, Vampire #4 can be heard: Hey, I said that too.

Skywalker: I heard about throwing a match for draft position, but this is ridiculous!

Windu: Ridiculous or not, we still have to win.

Windu ignites his lightsaber and leads the Kennelz squad into battle. The Star Wars entourage creates a triangular formation. Windu is the tip, followed by Skywalker and Tano, followed by Dark Jedi Masters #31-33. Windu meets the first of the Vampires and decapitates Vampires #3 and 12. Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano follow Windu and destroy Vampires #1, 10, 14 and 18. In the rear, Dark Jedi Masters #31-33 kill Vampires # 2, 5, 8, 11 and 19.

Immediately after the Jedi rip through the vampires, Green Lanterns #1, 2, 4 and 4 use their rings to lift Vampires # 4, 9 and 13 into the air. The Lanterns drop them in the midst of Justin Oblak, Dexter the Dog and Brandon Inge. Inge breaks his bat in two over his knee and throw Oblak one half of the Louisville Slugger. Oblak and Inge use the sharpened ends to pierce the hearts and destroy Vampires #4 and 9. Dexter the Dog rips the head off of Vampire # 13.
Jade joins with the Inhumans in the Kennelz last skirmish with the Vampires. Jade and Karnak use their combined fighting abilities to destroy Vampire # 6. Triton skewers Vampire #7 and Medusa uses her hair to rip off the head of Vampire # 15. Black Bolt then unleashes his voice which shreds apart Vampires # 16 and 17.

Wonder Team: All dead.

Kennelz: All survive.

MICHAEL VICK’S BAD NEWZ KENNELZ OF LURVE IS VICTORIOUS!!!

4 comments:

Ryan said...

Robert,

Ouch Town! Population: You bro!

Man I haven't seen and butt raping like that since I stumbled into an All-Boys Private High School gym class.

Nice win Matt.

MROblak said...

Did you stumble into that Gym Class
Ryan or did you secretly long to be there.
Thanks for the props...and pretty humorous match Bryan given what you had to work with


Oh and Ryan.....We are CC

Artifact said...

Thats BS.

EVERYONE knows that Vampire #3 would kick Mace Windu's ass.

Josh the Commish said...

That rough Alice (& Robert), better luck next year after some retooling. Good Win Matt, and funny comment.