Friday, August 20, 2010

The Universe Bowl

Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches Vs. Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos


Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches are Ego the Living Planet, Mogo, Ranx the Sentient City, The One Above All, The Living Tribunal, Doomsday, Darth Vader in a Z-95 Headhunter, Darth Talon in a Z-95 Headhunter, Boba Fett in a Z-95 Headhunter, Yendar Platis & R2-KT in a Y-Wing, Dark Phoenix, Magog (w/ a green lantern ring), Orion, Vulcan, Red Hulk, Carnage, Dracula, Holocaust, Wolverine, Deadman, Michael Myers, Arkillo, Pablo (w/ a Halberd), Tyrone (w/ a Heat Axe), Austin (w/ an Atlas), Uniqua (w/ a red lightsaber), & Tasha (w/ a green lightsaber) on a Hovercraft.

Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos are Dave Bowman (w/ a green lantern ring), Numnius (w/ a blue lantern ring), (movie) Jetfire (w/ an indigo lantern ring), Tlaloc (w/ a red lantern ring), Dex-Tar, Zombie Doozer #1, Karu-Sil, Ahmed Best, Fatality, Jar Jar Binks, Taa, Parallax, Bryan Beckerman (w/ mandalorian armor & red & blue lightsabers), Orion Pax (w/ the autobot matrix of leadership), Mary Marvel, Ben Kenobi, Xerxes, Dante, Gen. Grevious, Spider-Man, Dr. Fate, The Crew of the Icarus 2 in the Icarus 2, (movie) Devastator: Demolisher, Mixmaster, Long Haul, Rampage, Scavenger, High Tower, & Scrapper, The Herculoids: Zandar, Tarra, Dorno, Zok, Igoo, Tundro, Gloop, & Gleep, Dr. Doom, w/ Ellen Ripley, & The Colonial Marines in a Star Destroyer, President Barack Obama w/ Hannah Montana, & Xavier Harkonen in the ID4 Mother Ship, HAL 9000 w/ Albus Dumbledore, & Harry Potter in Rama, Lazarus Long in a Mig, Vorian Atreides in a Mig, Frank Poole & Astro-Droid #19 in an A-Wing, Venus & Serena Williams in the Batmobile, Mrs. Doubtfire in The Wild Goose, Dora (w/ blue & green lightsabers), Backpack, Benny, Issa, & Tico.


INTRO
“Meesa will try not to make this a long-o-tello but for weeks weesa been crunchin but nobodys been comin out on top. Yousa see, right when it was all beginnin and everybody was wantin to start crunchin weesa sent The Icarus 2 to try an use their big boomers to blow up Ego and Mogo, but thissa didn’t go so good cause Mogo shot one boomer back at the ship to crunch the whole crew and the other at the planet which weesa was supposed to be crunchin on in the first place! eh eh eh. Oh, where is my manners. Meesa almost forgot to introduce myself. Meesa called Jar Jar Binks and meesa your humble narrator. Weesa think that the crew of The Icarus was da only ones that got crunched before this all started, but its hard to tell. All the big brains on our team is pretty sure that we all have a life debt to Numnius cause when we was all gettin very scared she used her powers to zap us to Rama where weesa all is now. Boss Obama sent us a message deerect from his Star Bongo where he specked that heesa was pretty sure that Dark Phoenix zapped all the bad guys onto theysa 3 planets before the Play-Off Planet went BOOM. So now weesa been waitin and theysa been waitin and weesa all wonderin when weesa gonna have a match. Wheesa all been put on our own spots cept for Numnius and Dark Phoenix, who the bosses all think are still on the dyin play-off planet crunchin with each other. Some of the team is out flyin around outside Rama, but most of us is still just sittin here cause Boss Obama is tellin us to just wait for the bad guys to attack........... When is the match gonna start you speck? Meesa no know: WHEN YOU THINKIN THE MATCH IS GONNA STARTEN!!

The enormous form of Rama is being flanked by the typically considered huge, but currently dwarfed Star Destroyer and Mother Ship. Tlaloc and Frank Poole are acting as fighter-escorts to Obama’s Mother Ship (known as Commando-1), while Dante & Xerxes are doing the same for Dr. Doom’s Star Destroyer (The Latverian). Head Coach Barack Obama prepares to speak to his troops. He knows that his teammates on Doom’s Star Destroyer and the other ships can hear him, and that his voice is being amplified throughout Rama, but Rama is so huge, that many of The Commandos who were transported there have not even been located yet. President Obama says: “I know..... That many of you feel that this is quite a setback. But thanks to the brave crew of The Icarus 2 and the quick thinking of Numnius..... We find ourselves in a situation that I feel is in out best interest. It is true, that Mogo, Ego, & Ranx are still alive and that are plan did not happen as we intended it to, but it is we that have the advantage. Home field advantage if you will. We can sit, surround, and wait on Rama until The Backyardigans attack us, and when they do........ We will be ready. I have every intention of achieving victory in The Universe Bowl, and with your help this goal can be achieved. So I wish you all good luck and Allah speed..... I mean God-speed, I don’t know why I said that, everybody knows that I am not a Muslim“. Several light years away The One Above All, who has taken the form of writer/director George Lucas has made it aware to Darth Vader that his underling, The Living Tribunal is prepared to transport the entire Backyardigan squad onto Rama whenever they are ready. In the meantime Lord Vader has prepared his troops for an all-out surprise attack that he is confident will destroy all of The National League’s Universe Bowl dreams for good. The Backyardigan trio of Z-95’s, Master Platis’s Y-Wing, Magog, Orion, & Arkillo are already on their way to Rama, while the rest of the team waits patiently for the instantaneous transport into Rama that they have been preparing for over the last few weeks. The only team-members, who are not preparing for this initial attack are Dark Phoenix, who is still believed to be battling with Numnius on the scorched remains of The Play-Off Planet and Mogo, Ego, & Ranx, who are going to simply sit back as the last line of defense for The Backyardigans. They are confident that the squad they are sending will be able to defeat The Commandos but they believe that even if they are not successful by some stoke of NL luck that what remains of The Commandos after this battle will be no match for the 3 sentient settings. The One Above All has informed the 7 space worthy members of his team that they need only speak the words aloud that they wish to be transported onto Rama itself if they get into any sort of trouble; which is why Lord Vader has instructed Talon, Platis, Fett, Arkillo, Orion, & Magog to hold nothing back while fighting in space because even if they get into an unwinnable predicament they will be granted a second chance for victory. As Darth Vader and his space-worthy troops come out of light speed and begin fiercely attacking the ships outside of Rama, Lord Vader gives the signal to The Living Tribunal who transports not only himself and The One Above All, but the rest of their attack squad inside Rama. With this instantaneous movement of troops onto the enormous ship, many small battles begin raging between the 2 championship teams. The Dark Lords of the Sith become locked in an intense dog-fight, while Magog, Orion, & Arkillo all move toward the red lantern wielding Tlaloc. Frank Poole catches Yendar Platis with a concussion missile to blow his Y-Wing to bits. Master Platis is then teleported to the inside of Rama by The One Above All. R2-KT on the other hand is not as lucky; and blows up along with the Y-Wing. Frank Poole loops back around, to find his next opponent; but he finds that Boba Fett is already hot on his trail. Poole is in possession of the faster of the 2 fighters, but Boba Fett’s skill as a star pilot more than make up for the difference as he catches Poole off guard with an advanced missile to take both him and Astro-Droid #19 out. The battle rages on inside Rama. In a large metal-floored open area Red Hulk and Doomsday team up to take out an opponent of gargantuan size. Though the Decepticon Gestalt dwarfs the 2 behemoths in size, he does not do so in strength. Doomsday and Rulk proceed to Demolish and Devastate Demolisher and the rest of Devastator with a significant amount of mountain leveling attacks to the center of the enormous Transformer. Boba Fett regroups with Darth Vader and Lord Talon to form a triangular formation. They begin moving towards Commando-1, but Xerxes catches Boba Fett with a massive lasgun blast. Boba’s ship blows to pieces right after The One Above All transports him down to Rama. Vader loops back around and takes out Xerxes, but while he is doing this, Dante manages to shoot Darth Talon’s Z-95 and inflicts serious damage to it, in the process. Vader then uses his last 2 missiles to destroy Dante, but Bishop uses the guns from inside the Star Destroyer Latverian to hit Vader’s Z-95. Both Vader and his apprentice’s ships are on the brink of utter destruction, but neither of them ask for The One Above All’s help. Vader manually guides what is left of his ship, while he uses the force to guide Darth Talon’s ship into the docking bay of Dr. Doom’s Star Destroyer. The 2 Sith Lords jump out of their extremely damaged ships and then stealthily begin to search out The crew of The Star Destroyer. Vader, who was there from day 1 of The Empire’s inception knows Star Destroyers as well as anybody in the galaxy, and he uses that knowledge to his advantage as the cat and mouse game begins. Admiral Doom puts The Colonial marines on full alert as Sgt. Apone leads a full search and destroy mission to find the 2 trespassing Sith. Tlaloc’s rage is fueled to its full potential by his red lantern ring, and it is this rage that helps him rip through Magog’s green energy aura and destroy him. Tlaloc is not quite as successful when he squares off against Orion and Arkillo who combine their powers to rip the Titan leader apart. In a small fresh water area, within the depths of Rama, Dr. Fate approaches a hovercraft being piloted by a group who seem like fairly easy prey. Tasha speaks to her Backyard friends and says: “Are you guys ready to eff this guy up”? “Oh yeah, I’m gonna nail this turkey with my heat rod” says Tyrone. “Don’t you mean Heat Axe” says Pablo. “Oh, I guess I could go easy on him and use that instead” the arrogant little Moose says. Dr. Fate takes note of the 2 lightsaber-wielders, but as he lands on the edge of the hovercraft Pablo, Tyrone, & Austin all use their weapons to simultaneously cast Bolt 2, Blaze 2, & Blaze 3 on the good Dr. and completely fry him in place with a series of stunning attacks. Back on what is left of The Play-Off Planet Dark Phoenix sits alone on a shattered mountainside, meditating within a wave of her own apathy. Both teams are under the assumption that since they have not seen or heard from either of them, that an intense battle between her and Numnius rages on; which was at first true but Dark Phoenix actually defeated Numnius about 5 earth days ago, and for her own reasons is yet to rejoin her teammates. Dave Bowman has not been seen for several days, but he did speak to Optimus Prime thru the Autobot Matrix of Leadership before he disappeared. He told Prime, that it was up to him to lead the team’s “Inner Rama Assault” because he would not be there to help out. Bowman implied to Optimus that he had other plans for how he could use his powers to benefit The Commandos, and due to all that The Starchild has done for The Commandos over the last 3 years, not a soul on the team would question Bowman’s plans. Back on The Star Destroyer, Vader and Talon sneak up on a small scouting party, and take out Gorman, Drake, Weirzbowski, & Spunkmeyer before the quartet even realized that they were there. Hicks, then spots the set of Sith and order his squad to open fire. The Marines fight bravely, but in the end they are unable to shoot through Vader and Talon’s lightsaber defenses and one by one they are killed by Vader and his apprentice. Only Dr. Doom, Bishop 341-BL, and Ellen Ripley remain alive from the original Star Destroyer crew. Doom and Bishop are on the bridge, while Ripley is approaching in her robot loader. “THAT WAS MY TEAM YOU B*&^H” Ripley screams as she slams the loader’s right arm down hard on the back of Darth Talon’s head. Vader feels an overwhelming feeling of disappointment after witnessing the apprentice he has spent so much time on be taken by surprise so easily. Vader then uses the force to crush the metal cage that makes up the center of the loader and kills Ripley with her own weapon. Vader then rushes to the control room where he sees the ship being flown by Bishop and Dr. Doom. Doom begins to formulate a plan of action, but he underestimates the speed that Vader still possesses despite his heavily-weighted suit. In one swift motion, Vader uses his lightsaber to relieve Doom of his head and then slices Bishop into several pieces to insure that he can no longer function. Darth Vader then takes over the controls of The Star Destroyer and sets it on a collision course for Rama, before he has The One Above All transport him onto the very ship that he wishes to destroy. Much like Vader suspected, the enormous Star Destroyer barely dents Rama as the 2 ships crash together, resulting in the total destruction of The Star Destroyer Latverian; but at least Vader knows that The Star Destroyer can no longer be used by The Commandos. Orion and Arkillo combine their powers of energy projection and drill a cosmic energy hole directly through the center of Commando-1. Xavier Harkonen attempts to take evasive action while Hannah Montana and Barack Obama finish off their debate about who has more influence over the country. In the end, they both agree that the true answer to their argument is Oprah Winfrey just before The ID4 Mother Ship breaks in half. Orion has no desire to ask for help from The One Above All, so he uses his own powers to transport both himself and Arkillo into Rama. Mrs. Doubtfire is traveling at speeds upwards of 300 MPH when she/he decides that this would be a great time to write a note to his friends and teammates Jar Jar Binks and Ahmed Best to tell them that he/she thinks that they are great and that The Commandos never would have made it to The Universe Bowl without them. Unfortunately while Mrs. Doubtfire is rifling through her/his purse to find a pen the hairy he/she’s futuristic car swerves into an alien skyscraper and blows up on impact. Ten lightsabers twirl at amazing speeds while Grevious and Yendar Platis battle one another. Gen. Grevious is able to slice off the 2 lowest hands of Yendar Platis, but the Jedi Master is able to fight through the pain and finish off Grevious with a double lightsaber thrust through the heart of the Dark Jedi Cyborg. Ben Kenobi is able to finish off the wounded Platis, despite his Jedi weapon being outnumbered 4 to 1. In an area of Rama that was meant to look similar to the old American suburbs of The 1950’s Venus and Serena Williams are ripping through the streets in The Batmobile, while they are followed by Vorian Atreides and Lazarus Long from the air. The 3 vehicles patrol the area when they find that the only enemy is a lone mutant, standing on the roof of one of the small cookie-cutter houses. Vulcan uses his right and left hands to send out 2 intense streams of energy which follow the 2 Migs until they are both taken out. Lazarus Long is able to eject out of his cockpit, but Vorian Atreides has a ejection malfunction and is killed as the plane explodes. Vulcan then jumps onto the roof of The Batmobile and pulls the reinforced steel top right off of the vehicle. Venus and Serena both grab their tennis rackets and use their bulky (yet still feminine) muscles to attack the omega-level mutant, but it is of no avail. In the end, Vulcan makes extremely short work of the 2 tennis stars. Lazarus Long pulls out his vibro-blade and attempts to sneak up on Michael Myers, who is blankly staring at Zombie Doozer #1 as he squeezes the life out of him. Lazarus thinks he has the upper hand, but right before he is about to deliver the killing blow to Myers, the crazed lunatic turns around just in time and puts his own knife into the chest of Long. Spider-Man and his old enemy Carnage battle with each other on top of a large skyscraper like they have done so many times in the past, while Rulk and Doomsday search for more victims. The Starchild has worked tirelessly over the last 200 hours to conjure as much cosmic energy as possible to use in this battle. He reappears on Rama, and without a spoken word makes it clear that he needs the assistance of both Karu-Sil and Taa. The 2 lanterns follow behind Bowman as the trio travels at the speed of light to the farthest point of the match. Also known as the resting place of the 3 Backyardigan living strongholds: Mogo, Ego, & Ranx. As the 3 Commandos approach, Mogo and Ranx use their own lantern powers to instantly destroy both Karu-Sil and Taa, but Bowman is unharmed by their attacks. Dave Bowman uses his own green lantern ring to create an aura that most veteran lanterns would never be able to will into existence. With this energy field surrounding The Starchild, even the combined cosmic attacks of Ego, Mogo, & Ranx are unable to penetrate it. While encapsulated in this field of his own making, Dave Bowman concentrates like he never has before. For one milla-second, Bowman causes all time to completely stop and for The Universe to be under his complete control. In this time The Starchild displaces all of the molecules of these 3 beings and kills them all. After the single-handed destruction of Mogo, Ranx, & Ego; Bowman allows himself an entire earth second to relax before he rockets back to Rama to further aid his team. As Dave Bowman arrives back at Rama, The One Above All sends The Living Tribunal after him. The Living Tribunal has just finished overloading The HAL 9000 computer with more information than the super-computer could possibly handle, but that feat was nothing compared to what is being asked of him now. The Living Tribunal flies toward Bowman, but The Starchild has no time for a cosmic showdown such as this. Bowman uses his own incalculable powers to enhance the power of his green lantern 1 Million fold. He then hits The Living Tribunal with a blast that completely disintegrates him. The One Above, who is still in the form of George Lucas witnesses the death of his underling, but has no intention of dying so easily himself. The Lucas incarnation is well aware of what creating and destroying Universes is all about, so he simply prepares to do what he does when one of his own characters gets to cool. He claims that whatever he all of the sudden doesn’t like about this character was never actually “cannon” to begin with. You see only he can decide what is and isn’t “cannon”; so he manifests this in the physical form by putting it into a little ball of blue energy which he calls a cannon ball. The One Above All then throws this said “cannon” ball at Dave Bowman, whose powers revert back to page 1 of 2001: A Space Odyssey. The Starchild’s amazing FFL career then finally ends as Bowman plummets to his doom. The Cannon Ball falls to the ground as well, where it is picked up by none other than Ahmed Best. Ahmed shows it to his pal Mr. Binks and explains to the Gungan what just happened to their team’s MVP. The 2 carbon-conductors of awesome know that The Lucas/One Above All needs to be stopped; which prompts Jar Jar to say: “But what are weesa supposed to do about it”. Ahmed replies: “Don’t worry General Jar Jar, if anybody can destroy everything that George Lucas has ever accomplished, it’s the 2 of us”. Best and Binks valiantly rush The One Above All, but on the way there Ahmed Best trips over some Avian poop and falls flat on his face. Jar Jar keeps running at The One Above All, but he turns his head around and yells to Ahmed: This was yousa plan, what’s meesa supposed to do”? “Usem the Cannon Ball” Ahmed yells. “Meesa no have a cannon ball” says Jar Jar brilliantly. “Here, takum this one” Best replies. Ahmed Best then throws the cannon ball to Jar Jar, who reaches out his hand to catch it. In all of the character’s sheer genius, Jar Jar then, in a hilarious scene of events bobbles the cannon ball several times before he knocks it into the face of The One Above All. The One Above All is then destroyed by his own unfathomable power. Jar Jar and Ahmed have no time to celebrate their major contribution to their team’s potential victory, because only a few seconds after their defeat of The One Above All, the voice of one of their most respected teammates comes over Jar Jar’s communicator. “Jar Jar, this is Dora. We just took out Dead Man, but now it’s time for the real threat. Follow this homing beacon, and hurry up we haven’t got all day”. The battle that the little explorer spoke of ended when Backpack engulfed Dead Man within his endless compartments until even the undying spirit of the super-hero was destroyed. Their pal Issa was killed by Dead Man in the process, but it was worth the price. Dora can’t afford to shed tears for fallen teammates, even ones as close to her as Issa. Teammates die and Guerra es Hell as she has been known to say. She didn’t cry when her best friend Boots died, nor when she had to take her first life. She affords herself a second to think back to how much it used to bother her to have to kill and to see death surround her, but not any more, not after all she’s been through. Her young eyes may have seen enough blood to last several full lifetimes, but she knows that the worst is yet to come, and if it’s gotta come than she may as well be the Grim Reaper and not the soil sleeper. As Dora and her crew wait for back-up, the battle rages on elsewhere. Holocaust uses his bare hands to rip apart Zandar as well as his wife Tarra and son Dorno. He then uses his powers of energy projection to fry both Gloop and Gleep. It is a little more difficult for him to take out Igoo, but he does manage to crack the shell of the rock-hard ape before Tundro and Zok blast Holocaust with enough combined lava and lightning energy to take him out. Back at the Commando base of operations located just under the entrance to Rama, 2 of the most B.A. combinations in FFL history are reforming. While the Indigo powered Jetfire is fusing himself to Optimus Prime, Parallax is infusing himself into the Mandalorian-Armored-double-lightsabered-playgirl-centerfold-approached Bryan Beckerman. They fly into the fray with the intention of finding Rulk and Doomsday before they can do any more damage. They see the 2 muscle bound attackers in the distance, but they are already a little late to the party. Doomsday and Rulk had no problem mowing through both Zok and Tundro to finish of The Herculoids, and then ripped Mary marvel limb from limb, by each grabbing an end. Optimus and Becks seem a little mismatched against these 2, despite their add-ons but the score gets evened when Dumbledore and Harry Potter rush in to lend a hand. Bryan Becker(lax)man leads the charge against Doomsday and Rulk which begins the pitched battle to end all pitched battles. meanwhile, Carnage has finally finished his life long goal of killing Spider-Man, as their one on one fight was finally ended with Carnage ripping free of Spider-Man’s webs and breaking Peter Parker’s neck, Spider-Man is quickly avenged by the ravenous red cat Dex-Tar, who quickly bites the jugular of Carnage on his way to his next battle. Dark Phoenix finally decides to rejoin her teammates and comes to the aid of Orion, Vulcan, and Arkillo who are battling Dex-Tar and Fatality. Dark Phoenix more than tips the scales for her team against the 2 lanterns, but before they are destroyed Fatality does manage to send an energy spear through the face of Arkillo to make him Ardeado. While Rulk and Doomsday Bryan Battleman with the 3 Commando duos and Ben Kenobi is busy getting triple-teamed by Michael Myers, Dracula, and Wolverine; Jar Jar and Ahmed Best have finally arrived at the rendezvous point where Dora and her crew were already waiting for them. The rendezvous point was a wet marshy area that led into a fairly wide lake. “What’s de plan theira ey-a big boss-Dora your Honor”? Asks Jar Jar. “We have to take out that hovercraft”. Dora replies as she points way out in the distance. “Who’s on it” asks Ahmed Best. “The Backyardigans themselves” Dora replies grimly. “Whoa Noo Oooooohhooooheee ahhhh” Jar Jar says as he faints. Benny and Tico pull some smelling salts out of Backpack to wake up Jar Jar, while Dora looks at Ahmed and says: “I told you this mission was important. Now lets wake up Binks and get moving”. “How are we going to get over to them”? Asks Benny. But Dora is already pulling out a small boat from Backpack: “A little trick my cousin Diego taught me” Dora says as they all get on the raft and begin hand-paddling toward the Hovercraft. Optimus Prime knocks Rulk to the ground and stuns him, while Parallax fuels Beckerman with enough power to move both of his lightsabers in a V-swing and take Rulk’s head clean off. Doomsday is momentarily the only Backyardigan in the skirmish, when Darth Vader, Boba Fett, Dark Phoenix, Orion, and Vulcan show up. Dumbledore is keeping Doomsday at bay when he says: “Harry and I have got Doomsday covered. Don’t worry about us”! Optimus Prime/Jetfire uses a blast of Indigo energy to take out Orion, but an energy blast from Vulcan sends Optimus flying. Prime survives the blast, but finds that his armor, and Jetfire himself were not so lucky. Optimus transforms into his semi-truck form and comes barreling back into the fight, but Vulcan and Dark Phoenix blast the truck to pieces before Optimus can do any more damage. Ben Kenobi keeps his 3 attackers at bay for quite some time, and manages to use his lightsaber to let out Michael Myers concentrated evil by creating a large vent in his neck via decapitation. Kenobi then goes for another head shot on Dracula but the vampire is quick enough to duck the swing just in time. While Kenobi is in full saber-swing, Wolverine catches him with an adamantium thrust to the gut. Dora and her crew are completely unnoticed as they approach the hovercraft. Right before they hop on, Dora says: “We are probably not all going to make it out of this alive, but it is muy importado that we take The Backyardigans out for good, now VAMANOS”! The Commando strike team raids the hovercraft, and casualties get heavy on both sides. Austin puts his Atlas thru the smiling face of Backpack, while Benny strangles Tyrone with his bare hands. Ahmed Best and Jar Jar Binks trip over each other but in doing so fall on Austin and hit him in the temple which kills him. Uniqua puts a lightsaber thru the chest of Jar Jar, and Tasha does the same to Ahmed. Pablo then sticks his halberd into the back of Benny, and then tries to use the halberd on Dora. But Tico sacrifices himself for Dora and jumps onto the halberd before the full fury of Bolt 2 is released. The spell engulfs both Tico and Pablo killing them both, and knocking the green lightsaber out the hand of Tasha who was right next to them. Meanwhile, back on land. Doomsday has somehow broken loose of the combined spell of Harry and Dumbledore and when he did, he managed to put a massive gray fist through the face of Dumbledore. Dumbledore dies instantly from the blow, but Harry conjures up every bit of magic he can muster and focuses it directly at Doomsday. When Harry finally cannot focus any longer he releases the spell to find that Doomsday is completely annihilated. Harry isn’t sure if he can even move, let alone fight; but he realizes that he is going to be tested sooner than he had hoped when both Dark Phoenix and Vulcan rush in towards him. Harry unleashes what he can toward his 2 attackers, and surprises even himself when he wipes out Vulcan with a single magical burst before he is engulfed by the true order of The Phoenix. Tasha laughs manically as she reaches into the pouch of the dead Backpack and pulls out Boots’ old lightsaber. “Didn’t this belong to your dead little monkey friend”? Tasha says to Dora as she ignites the lightsaber and walks up closer to Dora with Uniqua by her side, wielding her own red lightsaber. “I will never fear Boots’ sword” The little explorer says. Dora stands at the ready, with her lightsaber ignited. She positions herself so the 2 remaining Backyardigans cannot get behind her, she knows that they already have the advantage but she doesn’t want the double team to be any worse than it already is. Dora focuses on the problem at hand and just allows herself to become one with the battle. She thinks to herself as if she is merely a bystander watching what she was doing from afar, as if she were a star of a show, and she was living the life of a normal little girl watching it at home on her couch. As if the whole event happens in slow motion she thinks to herself : I dodged Tasha’s swing and I parried Uniqua and I did it... I did it... I did it hurray. I came up on the left and I sliced Uniqua’s neck and I did it... I did it... I did it hurray. Tasha picked up the other saber and double swung at me and I ducked it... I ducked it...... I ducked it hurray. Then I through down a double spin kick and back-flipped over Tasha and I did it.... I did it.... I did it hurray. Then I took my saber and I ran her through and............................ I did it. Dora does not waste a second after dispatching the last 2 Backyardigans. She knows that just because her mission is complete that doesn’t mean that there aren’t teammates of hers that need help. She gets behind the controls of the hovercraft and crashes it in to the shore. Dora hits the ground running with her lightsaber ignited. She gets to the skirmish just in time to see Beckerlax surrounded. With their lightsabers drawn, Dora and Beckerlax stand back to back as the remaining Backyardigan team closes in on them. The Parallax entity flies out of Bryan Beckerman and attacks. Darth Vader raises his right hand in the air and rips apart the solid Parallax, destroying the physical form for good, but Bryan realizes that the Parallax power has not left him, and that it never will. Vader, Boba Fett, Dark Phoenix, Dracula, & Wolverine are amazed at how difficult it is to break through the defenses of the super-powered-armored lawyer and the battle-hardened little girl, but eventually they do fall to the American League’s might.
BECKERMAN’S BACKYARDIGAN’S: BEEYATCHES ARE UNIVERSE BOWL CHAMPIONS!

5 comments:

Solobeck said...

Josh: Fantastic match!
Nick: Hats off to a more than worthy opponent!
Ryan and Ed: Nice to keep the trophy in the A.L. and join your ranks as a Champion!

-B2

Ryan said...

Nicely done to all that were involved!

Nick, that was one hell of a performance.

Becks, good job at keeping it a American League Conference Championship.

Lickolas said...

Eh, bunch of bull s%#* is what that was.

Lickolas said...

I'm just kidding of course.

Great match Josh, I know I say it after most of your matches, but that really was one of your best. The whole George Lucas thing was just hilarious. The Jar Jar stuff was also completely wonderful. Mesa loved it!!!

Congrats on your first Universe Bowl victory man, there was a point there where I was scared that I was actually going to win this thing. I'm glad that you were able to win the trophy, though I am still going to sick Ray Park on your ass. You're about to get Mauled boy!

Bryan: T.O.D told me that for like a hundred bucks, he could get you the Bryan Beckerlax action figure because he bought them already at Target, even though they are not on sale yet.

Oh yeah and E says hi.

To the NL: I am sorry that I was not good enough to bring home the trophy again this year, but I hope that I still did you proud. I am confident that someone in our storied league will be bringing home the trophy very soon.

Kudos to all of the watchers on another fine year. I think we have all earned a little vacation from this. See you all again next year.

Josh the Commish said...

Boba Fett was given the double red lightsaber.