Saturday, February 26, 2011

Pre-Season: The Backyardigans vs The Untouchables


The Backyardigans are:

Dark Phoenix, and the formidable Rescue Rangers- Chip and Dale.

The Untouchables Are:
Woody the Sheriff
Buzz Lightyear
Tow Mater
The Burger King
The Care Cousins: Brave Heart Lion, Bright Heart Raccoon, Cozy Heart Penguin, Gentle Heart Lamb, Lotsa Heart Elephant, Loyal Heart Dog, Noble Heart Horse, Playful Heart Monkey, Proud Heart Cat, Swift Heart Rabbit and Treat Heart Pig.

"The Horror... The Horror!
Oh god... so much blood.. so much..."

The pool of blood at Woody's feet continued to spread. Far more blood than Woody felt should even be contained within the tiny bodies of his companions. Woody was covered in it, from his pull string to his clicking plastic boots...

"Woody, old friend... you're alive! I don't know how you managed to survive but you did! HA!!! HAHA! That's great!" said Buzz.

"Ok Woody, buddy, pal... come on, it'll do no one any good just standing here, lets go..." he continued.

"Ok Buzz... but promise me that we won't forget about them, they were so brave... they didn't even flinch.."

Buzz was confused at this moment, He assumed everyone had scattered when the Dark Phoenix arrived... in the heat of battle the Untouchables had managed to dismember the chipmunks with relative ease based on sheer numbers alone, Chip and Dale were now chunks... strewn across the danger room floor. Buzz had run off in an attempt to hijack the Danger Room controls to give them a fighting chance against whatever else the Backyardigans had brought to the fight and on his way he saw the phoenix descend on the group.

"What do you mean they didn't flinch? I heard their screams... I heard them begging for mercy... I heard Tow Mater crying asking "the great mechanic in the sky" for help..."

"Yes Buzz... but help wouldn't come... she pulled him apart and then she wouldn't let them move... while she made me do things... unspeakable things... to the Care Cousins.." Woody said quietly.

"You?! she made You do what?" Buzz stopped in his tracks..

Slowly woody turned towards Buzz, a small ball-peen hammer that had been blown off Tow Mater in his hand.. It may as well have been a giant mallet in his tiny cloth hands...

"heh... She made me do this" woody said in a voice not his own...
Buzz suddenly found himself unable to move... "Woody no.. common pal, I know you're in there... fight her!"

"Oh your little cowboy friend is fighting me Mr. Lightyear.." She said using Woody's voice twisted by her power "but it's not going to do any good. For I am the Dark Phoenix, arguably the most powerful telekinetic force you will ever encounter in your short little life..."

It was then that Woody Began his dark work, screaming for mercy inside his own brain, incapable of stopping the hammer as it rose and fell smashing his friend into shards of plastic and sparking electronics...

"Too infinity.. and beeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyuuuh..." the built in voicebox slowed to an inhuman drone as the last bit of life left the space mans eyes...

"Well then..." said Phoenix... "I'm sorry that I made you do that to your friend.. but do you have any idea how boring it would have been for me to just kill you one by one?"

"Oh no.. no... don't speak." she continued "there's really no point, we're through here... there's just one last loose end."
And with that she crushed the toy cowboy's head, and used Woody's string as a garrote to strangle the helpless burger king.

The Untouchables: All Dead.
Despite the loss of Chip and Dale The Backyardigans are victorious!

5 comments:

Josh the Commish said...

Ryan, you and Becks both need professional help. Good work dude. Congrats on The Imperial Shuttle Becks, I'm sure Vader will use it well.

Josh the Commish said...

My bad, I don't know why I was thinking that Ryan watched this match. Nice work Mike, but seriousely... Seek help.

Solobeck said...

LOVED IT!!! Great job!!!
-B2

Krisatu said...

Yeah, that was awesome. Great match Mike.

Lickolas said...

Holy crap was that awesome, it's nice to see the disturbing come back into it. Good stuff Mike.