Commandos Vs. TEAM

Pop-Superar Hannah Montana and President Barack "Dick Morris predicted I am going to lose, which means I am a 2 term president for sure" Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos is (Earth 2) Superman, Black Lantern Optimus Prime, Sgt. Apone, Corporal Hicks, Bishop, Corp. Dietrich, Pvt. Hudson, Pvt. Drake, Corp. Frost, Pvt. Crowe, and Ellen Ripley, Leon (w/ a yellow lantern ring), Katniss Everdeen (w/ a green lantern ring), Zombie Maxima, Lazarus Long in an F-35, Vorian Atreides and Astro- Droid #19 in a Jedi V-Wing, Xavier Harkonen and Astro-Droid #20 in an A-Wing, Xerxes, Dante, Luminara Unduli (w/ a blue lantern ring), Baress Offee, Huma Dragonbane and his sliver dragon, Orion Pax (w/ The Autobot Matrix of Leadership/ AKA Optimus Prime), Aleta One (w/ a green lantern ring), Carlisle Cullen (w/ a Star Sapphire Ring), Black Lantern Wonder Woman, Helena Markos (w/ a red lantern ring) Norma Cenva (w/ a green lantern ring), The Atom, Black Lantern Neo, White Lantern Deadman, Surtur, Atrocitus, Pres. Barack Obama (w/ General Grevious' equipment), Miley Cyrus in an F-Zero Hover-Car, Serena Butler w/ Erasmus and Ewok Baby #5 in The Pussy Rocket, Dora the Explorer (w/ 2 green lightsabers and a jetpack), and Doozer #13.

TEAM is Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, Bill the Pony, Galavatron (w/ a red lantern ring), Neo Cymek #1-12, Mon El, Michael Demiurgos, Immell #13 (Zangler) (w/ a proton pack), Shredder (w/ a mithril vest), Sif and The Warrior's 3: Hogun, Volstagg, and Fandral, Hamblor and his dog, Melkor, Black Lantern Incredible Hulk, Duke Nukem, Black Stone, Supoergirl (Linda Danavers), and The Incredibles: Mr. Incredible, Elasti-girl, Violet, Dash, and Jack-Jack

The four and zero Commandos are being led by Miley and Barack themselves in this monstrous battle against the so-far this season under-achieving TEAM. Obama was a bit concerned after last week's defeat of the mighty Horsemen that they would take this match lightly and The President is here to make sure that that does not happen. "This is still TEAM" said Obama to his Commandos in the locker room before the match: "And no matter if they have gotten off to a rough start or not, we still need to bring our A Game if we intend to stay undefeated". The attitude in TEAM's Locker Room on the other hand is something that is very foreign to them. They actually have a sense of fear about them. With Superman gone for good and their worst start in League history, the FFL's First ever Universe Bowl Champions are actually in danger of not having a Post Season this year. Especially after the special ran on "The Ocho" last week, where Cotton Mcknight himslef was quoted as saying: "What was it that made TEAM so great again?...? I believe it was Superman, and their plethora of giant robots... Well, last I checked they will be going up against a Commandos squad that consists of not only Superman, but of two different versions of Optimus Prime as well... So you do the math"!!

The TEAM front office did not take lightly to these comments and had no retort or comment. Lazarus Long in his F-35 takes the lead on an air patrol while being flanked by Vorian Atreides and Xavier Harkonen in their respective ships. While TEAM's 12 Neo-Cymek's act as the first wave. Leon is off on his own flying through the air and trying to get used to the use of Despotellis' yellow lantern ring. The Neo-Cymek's blast Leon out of the air; but this is noticed by President Obama. "Were those Neo-Cymek's" Obama shouts in to the comlink but does not wait for a reply. "Where is the hell is Xerxes"? Xerxes comes over the com to the President and says: "I am already on it sir". A few seconds later, the twelve Neo-Cymeks all fall out of the air and land hard in the desert setting. As the man/machine that made the original programming that made the Neo-Cymeks possible, Xerxes naturally has a kill switch that can simply turn the twelve human brained robots off. "Great work Xerxes, but I still need those Cymeks destroyed. I can't trust that TEAM doesn't have some way of reactivating them. I need somebody I trust more than anything to get this job done... It is priority number one". Pres. Obama puts his comlink down for a minute a quietly reflects on who he trusts most to get this done and get it done fast. Obama picks the comlink back up and says: "Dora... Can you read me"? Dora replys: "Yes, Senor President. I have my orders and I am on my way". Dora flies over to the crash site and begins opening up the combustion engines and linking them together with their own oil slick. It is fairly time consuming but she manages to create a chain of explosives to link them together; now she just needs to find a way to ignite them. She needs a wick that is slow-burning so she can get out of there in time. She pulls a rolled up tattered piece of paper out of what is left of the backpack covering her jetpack and sticks it straight in to the fuel cell of Neo-Cymek #1. She says: "Show me the way one more time old friend" as she ignites her lightsaber and lights what is left of The Map on fire. She flies off on her jetpack and only seconds later hears the sound of the neo-cymeks exploding one by one (yeah, that's right. Dora just killed 300 points worth of characters... What's the problem??). "Good work Dora, you are an invaluable asset" says President Obama over the comlink after he sees the explosions in the distance. "Thanks Senor President. It was nothing, thank Xerxes for disabling them". Dora replies. Meanwhile, many other battles are taking place all over The Play-off Planet. Neither of these squads have a space presence, so everything is concentrated on the planet itself. In the forest region Huma and his Silver Dragon are swooping in towards Melkor to make their attack. Melkor sees them coming and swings his massive mace towards the dragon's head before he can breathe any of his potent fire. The dragon falls dead from this powerful hit but Huma rolls off of his friend and The former Knight of Solamnia draws his broad sword. He charges at Melkor, but he puts up nothing more than a minimal threat for the evil member of The Valor. Melkor mows him down with ease.

Atrocitus meets up with Black Lantern Hulk and finds that he still may have a thing or two to learn about rage after all. Atrocitus spews some red energy on to Hulk but he shrugs it off. "The madder Black Lantern Hulk get... The stronger Black Lantern Hulk get"!! He says as he busts through the red energy aura of Atrocitus and then busts through his spine. Supergirl meets up with Superman high above the forest (it seems like TEAM's matchs will just never stop having a line like that). The two of them begin reluctantly fighting one another. They were both told by their respective teams that this battle was expected of them; but that does not mean that they are happy about it. Linda Danavers puts up a good fight; but in the end this Supergirl just isn't quite powerful enough to withstand the abuse given out by the Gray Templed Superman from Earth Two. Pres. Obama realizes that Michael Demiurgos is far too powerful to be left alive for this long. He knows that Norma Cenva can stop him; but he sends Helena Markos over to him first. The master of dance and occult (pronounced ahh-cult) is no match for Michael, even with her red lantern ring; but just as the head witch is destroyed Norma Cenva sacrifices herself like her Rossack Sister Ancestors from centuries ago. Her green energy coated mind explosion takes out both her and Demiurgos.

Apone and Ripley lead what is left of The Colonial Marines through the humid jungle when they come across a small TEAM Outpost. The TEAMmates postition is pretty well-fortified with Frodo, Sam, Bill, Zangler, and Shredder inside. The Marines bust in through the rock covered entrance and begin firing their rifles; but Shredder leaps out of nowhere and slices the throats of both Crowe and Frost. But Hicks kills Shredder with a headshot, after he realizes that the mithril vest he is wearing will even stop his rifle's bullets. Ripley is able to get off her flame-thrower before Zangler can use her proton pack. Zangler then becomes a scorched clone compliments of the toughest chick in movie history. "The Shire"!! Frodo and Sam shout as they draw their weapons and charge the marines. Sam is able to get on top of Bishop and cut his head off with his Elven Knife before he is shot in the chest by Drake. Frodo is manages to run Dietrich through just before Hudson kills him with a headshot (since Frodo had a Mithril Vest as well). Apone takes out Bill the Pony and says that he "believes the area is clear" when Mon El and Galvatron come back from a recon to find their small base destroyed. Mon El takes the powerfully built Drake and snaps him in half like a twig while Galvatron uses the red lantern energy that he has hooked directly in to his arm cannon blow up what is left of the makeshift base. "That should take care of them" Galvatron says as he and Mon El vacate the premises. Although Hicks and Ripley both escape the wreckage with their lives Sgt. Apone and Hudson do not make it out.

Miley Cyrus is racing down the streets of the Play-Off Planet's Metropolitan Area when she reaches over to take a sip of her white wine spritzer and crashes head on in to one of the buildings. Pres. Obama comes over the comlink and says: "Hannah... I mean Miley, are you okay". Miley whispers in to the comlink with her dying breath... "Tell Lindsay Lohan... I understand". Back in the forest, Katiness Everdeen takes out Hamblor's dog with a green energy coated arrow, while Hamblor himself is shot, scorched, laser-blasted, stepped on, and then finally blown up by Dante and Xerxes. Serena Butler is driving The Pussy Rocket down the streets of the city (just past Miley's wreckage), when Erasmus suggests: "I think we should let the ewok drive". "First of all, I don't think ""Letting the ewok drive"" is ever a good idea; but more importantly, he is a baby. And baby's don't know how to drive. Ya know for something that claims to know so much about humans, you are pretty stupid about stuff". Says Serena. Erasmus retorts: "But we are not referring to humans we are referring to ewoks, are we not"? "Yes, but like humans... ewok babies can't drive". "I find this need to coddle living babies strange. When a computer is first programmed, it can do any task right away". Erasmus says. Serena comes back with: "That's amazing Erasmus. The only problem is that I don't care. I can't believe that I am stuck in this ridiculous vehicle with you to begin with, the least you could do is shut the faa....... (trailing off) ... ERASMUS. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?? Put that ewok down!! Dammit Erasmus if you throw that ewok baby out of the window of this thing I swear to God I will start another Jihad up in here. I'm telling you don't........" BOOM!! Is the sound that the Pussy Rocket makes as it flips over from having the tires shot out by Blake Stone and Duke Nukem. The Ewok Baby dies in the crash instantly. Erasmus is trapped underneath the vehicle with Serena when he says to her: "See, it doesn't matter; the ewok died anyway". "Eff you Erasmus" Serena says with her dying breath. Then the truck explodes to finish Erasmus off as well.

Luminara Unduli and Baress Offee see this transpire and charge the two soldiers. But Duke and Blake are ready. Baress Offee kills Blake Stone, but Duke Nukem manages to blow away Offee before Master Unduli can run him through with her lightsaber. Sif and The Warriors Three go on a Rampage throughout the city area. They use their combined forces to take out Surtur, and then they each take out one Commando on their own. Sif doesn't seem to have a problem killing a Black Lantern with her Asgardian Powers as she takes out Black Lantern Neo, and Hogun kills Carlisle Cullen even though he is his favorite Twilight Character (he's every guy's favorite right). Volstagg then tosses a massive chunk of the wrecked building (compliments of Miley) up at the Lazarus Long and his flanking partners. Lazarus and Vorian easily dodge the concrete; but Xavier Harkonen is not quite as good of a pilot as they are and he, his droid, and his A-Wing are taken out. Fandral then crushes the young Katniss Everdeen who had just recently gotten back to the city in search for supplies.

Sif and The Warriors Three are then confronted by Optimus Prime, the lightsaber wielding Barack Obama, and Zombie Maxima. "Your reign of terror ends here Sif". Says Optimus. "That was suppossed to be my line" replies Barack. Barack Obama then pulls out his boom box and presses play on his Stan Bush tape to get Optimus in the mood for one last butt-kicking session. Sif takes out The Head Coach and Zombie Maxima but as quick as she can do that Optimus has crashed into Hogun in his truck form, blasted Volstagg with his rifle, and brought his huge fist down on Fandral to kill all three of them. Sif then takes Optimus off guard and crashes in to the back of him. TEAM's first round draft pick then pays off well as she busts open Optimus' chest and destroys his spark. Optimus looks up at her in amazement but instead of finishing him off, Sif says: "I will leave you now. Die in peace noble warrior". Optimus sends out a call to Black Lantern Optimus Prime to get over to him immedietely. The two of them have never seen eye to eye, but Black Lantern Prime knows that with Barack and Miley no longer here that Optimus is the defacto leader of the team. Black Lantern Optimus Prime flies in to see the dying Optimus Prime. Optimus sees him and as he is pulling the autobot matrix of leadership out of his chest says: "I know that you are corrupted by the black lantern power, but I know that there is still good in you. I know that you have the same potential as I do to lead not only the autobots, but The Commandos as well". Black Lantern Optimus Prime greedily takes the Matrix from Optimus who becomes Orion Pax and then dies. The Black Lantern puts the Matrix in to his chest plate and within seconds the Black Lantern curse is completely wiped away. The Black Lantern Ring falls off of Optimus Prime's finger and shatters on the ground. "So Optimus Prime lives again" Prime says in his signature voice. "And I must say it is good to be back" he says afterwords to no one in particular.

Sif moves in to the dsesert region where she is met by two more giant robots; but the tired Sif does not fair as well against Dante and Xerxes as she did The last Optimus Prime. The two Titan Cymeks rip her to shreds. Black Lantern Wonder Woman is not fairing to well against Black Lantern Hulk when White Lantern Deadman shows up. Black Lantern Hulk puts a foot through the head of Wonder Woman just as Deadman points the white lantern ring at Hulk to vanquish the black lantern right out of him. This works but a tad bit of muscle memory must have remained in the green goliath, because his now dead, previousely undead fist still managed to cave in Deadman's skull. The Incredibles rush in to the desert area to try and avenge Sif against the two cymeks. But the Cymeks gain some help as well; in fact both of the teams seem to converge in this open desert area for what appears to be one final showdown.

As The Incrediblers charge, they have the power trio of Galvatron, Melkor, and Mon El backing them up. But the (new. new) Optimus Prime is leading what is left of The Commandos in behind the two Titans. Melkor manages to break the spine of Ellen Ripley as she is hanging off the side of Optimus Prime. Hicks screams in defiance from the other side of Prime, but his bullets just bounce off of Melkor as Optimus continues to drive by. "Try and keep up old man" Lazarus says to Vorian Atreides over the comlink as they fly in to the battle and get ready for a strafing run. "Who are you calling old man, old man" says Vorian back to his buddy Lazarus. The two of them get set for an attack run, but before they can Galvatron targets Vorian V-Wing out of the sky, destroying both him and his droid. Xerxes takes pleasure in killing Violet, which enrages her parents. Elasti-Girl manages to twist herself around the entire metal body of Xerxes to temporarily cut off his weapons systems, which gives Mr. Incredible just enough time to jump on to the top of Xerxes and smash open his brain canister. The injured Xerxes melts Elasti-girl off of him, but does die from the injuries inflicted by her husband. Dash takes out Doozer #13 by running right over him, but then catches a lightsaber to the throat delivered by none other than the stealthy Dora from behind a hidden rock. Dora turns to me and says: "Where is that annoying boy's head? Is it there she says (pointing randomly to the ground) Is it there (pointing up in the sky), Is it here (she points directly below her feet, right under her still ignited lightsaber). I am shouting from above the horizon where I watch the matches trannspire "no... no... YES" "Right... Good job, you DID IT"!! Says Dora. Mr. Incredible proved that you can in fact kill an opponent much larger than you by taking out Xerxes; which is exactly what The Atom does to him, as he jumps in to Mr. Incredible's ear and punches his brain much like he did to The Atom's Commando teammate.

Lazarus Long begins his strafing run all by himself from his F-35, but the only person he ends up getting is Jack-Jack, as the rest of TEAM is simply to powerful to be majorly affected by his primitive weaponry. The Commandos see that they have TEAM outnumbered and try to take advantage of this by using a divide and conquer method. Optimus Prime transforms into his robot form, and along with Hicks and Luminara Unduli attack Melkor. Dora runs up next to Superman, but then hangs back a bit when he begins battling with Mon El. The green lantern powered Aleta One teams with The Atom and Dante to move against the red lantered powered Galvatron. Galvatron overpowers Aleta One by slamming her to the dirt and then blowing her head off at close range with his arm cannon. The Atom flies in and is able to distract Galvatron long enough for Dante to load his weapons systems and target The Decepticon Leader with everything he has got (The Atom just barely got away in time). Melkor, despite being the most powerful creation of the first age is still outmatched by a blue lantern wielding Jedi Master and the Ressurected Optimus Prime (and don't forget Hicks taking pot shots with his rifle from behind). Optimus thinks that he might need to open up the Matrix of Leadership when he first gets a look at Melkor; but this is far from The Commandos darkest hour. Melkor is overpowered and destroyed. Optimus and his crew meet back up with Dante, Dora, and The Atom and decide that they cannot waste any time in getting to Superman in order to help him out. But Superman's back-up arrives just in time to see him defeat Mon-El in their one on one battle and make...

POP-SUPERSTAR HANNAH MONTANA AND PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA'S "BEST OF BOTH WORLDS" TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS VICTORIOUS!!