Consolation Round 3- The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is: Bowser:  King of Koopa (w/ Larfleeze's Orange Lantern Ring)

Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kinnelz of Lurve are: BL Nick Houslander (9deaths), Kevin Perrira w/ Legion Flight Ring and throwing knives & Olivia Munn w/ Jetpack and Treasure Troll



"It's not FAIR!" pouts Olivia Munn, as he team enters the Lowes at Maple Road and Halsted in Walled Lake, MI. "You guys have cool rings! Why don't I have one! I've just got this clunky jetpack and helmet. It's not fashionable OR as powerful as your guys rings!"

"Calm down, Olivia" says Ken Perrira "The treasure troll doesn't have a ring either, and it's not complaining."

"Yeah" snickers black lantern Nick Houslander "You're just SLIGHTLY cooler than a one point common Treasure Troll. Clearly there's been some oversight in giving the fabulous OLIVIA MUNN a weapon like a power ring, what with your love of "nerd culture" that doesn't come off as forced or contrived AT ALL"

"You got a problem with me Houslander?" responds Munn "What's up, bitch? What's your problem with me???!!!"

"My problem? Dude, have you been following your career AT ALL??!!! You're a terrible actress, you were beyond obnoxious of 'Attack of the Show' and the fact that you posed for Playboy and didn't have any nude pictures at all is total horses**t! So, I guess to summarize my problem with you is that you suck, your entire "career" is a crock of bulls**t built on being slightly cute and being able to fake an interest in comics and games. You're no Adrienne Curry, sweet heart." unloads the black lantern "Now do me a favor. Go be useful for the first time in your miserable life, by doing some recon and tell us how many Midgets are in there and who they are."

As Olivia stands there, her jaw hanging open, seething with rage. Nick adds the final insult to his verbal barrage. He gently taps her on the bottom and says

"Chop-chop sweet cheeks, daddy has things to do" he smirks. The treasure troll and Ken Perrira just stand there, shocked beyond belief at was has just transpired

Olivia stomps into the store, and zooms into the air and beings scouring the area. A brief, orange flash catches her eye over by the plumbing aisle, so she lands and goes to investigate. She looks around, and doesn't see anyone. She hears a faint rattle behind her, so she grabs a lead pipe. Suddenly-Bowser bursts out at her. Olivia screams and swings the pipe, striking him in the gut. As Bowser doubles over clutching his gut, there's a clink and an orange power ring hits the floor. Munn dives for the ring and grabs it.

"Stupid nerd. Tells me I don't deserve a ring" thinks Munn "I'll show HIM!!"  and she slides the ring on her finger.

"OLIVIA!!! NO!!!!!" screams Perrira as he and the rest of the Kennelz burst in and try to stop her. But it's too late.  Bowser stands up and laughs

"Ha!!! She's MINE NOW!!!!" bellows the beast "I've got me the PRINCESS OF THE NERDS!! BOWSER WINS!!"  he turns and looks at the newest member of the Midgets- Orange Lantern Olivia Munn

"Princess of the nerds my ass" growls Nick "If she knew anything about comics she'd have know that an orange ring is a trap. Didn't that dumb broad read the "Agent Orange" arc of Green Lantern??!!"

"Not the time, Nick. Not the time." says Ken as he takes to the air with the treasure troll. "We gotta save her!" he throws a bunch of knives at Bowser that have no effect on him.

"Olivia! He's trying to take your ring! STOP HIM!" bellows Bowser.

"NO! IT'S MMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" screams the starlet. who rushes her former co-host and plows into him. The force of the hit causes Ken to drop the Treasure Troll, who plummets to the ground and is caught by Bowser.

"Heh. A treasure troll. Too bad I already have this color. But I can fix that!" he stomps towards the paint department, taking the time to first throw a fireball at black lantern Nick Houslander, who tried to sneak up on the king of the koopas but with no avail. Bowser grabs a bucket of  paint from the shelf.  He easily pops the top off of the can with his dragon nails, dumps out some of the paint on the ground and plunges the troll into the  remaining paint. He seals the can on the screaming troll, it's cries for help muffled inside the container. "Gotta make sure I mix it well." smirks Bowser as her puts the can into the paintmixer and turns it on.  He stands there, grinning demonically as the sound of troll screams and sickening THUDS fill the area.

As the troll is being shaken to death, and while Nick burns, the two former "AoTS" hosts still battle in the air. The force field of the Legion ring protect Perrira from the bolts of orange that are being fired in his direction. Ken realizes that there's no way for him to reason with, or save his friend- he's going to have to kill her. He zips down to the lumber aisle, grabs a 2x4, turns and swings as he pays homage to "Hacksaw" Jum Duggan  screaming "HHHHHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" as the board passes through her head. Harmlessly.

"Nice try. 'Tough Guy' " smirks Munn who grabs Perrira by the arm and breaks it.  Ken crumbles to his knees, screaming and crying. "Pathetic" sneers Munn who grabs the piece of lumber and begins viciously beating her one time friend with it. The force of her blows is so great, and repetitve, she grabs another piece and continues her assault. Perrira's skull becomes a red mush on the concrete, yet Munn continues grabbing boards and bashing on the fallen Kennelz member.

"Enough" commands Bowser who comes sauntering down the aisle with Treasure Troll 15's new casket. A dented and bloody paint can."We've got enough red here, my pet. Let's got get the ash of the other one and our collection of Kennelz Corpses will be complete."

"F**king asshole!" spits Munn "How dare he accuse me of not knowing nerd culture. Loser"

"Well he's dead n-" begins Bowser when suddenly a large piece of metal pipe explodes from his chest- killing him.

"NNNNOOOOOO!!!" screams Olvia Munn as she begins to fade "HE KILLED YOU!!!! I SAW YOU BURN. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY VICTORY!"

"You stupid bastard" says the perfectly fine black lantern Nick Houslander "How many times does it have to be said? YOU CAN ONLY KILL A BLACK LANTERN WITH A COMBINATION OF A GREEN RING AND ANOTHER ONE. GOD!!"

"Bbbbutt. But. I had a ring" she sobs "I had an orange riiiinnn..." she finishes as she fades out of existence.

"What a moron. Everyone knows that once you put on an orange ring, you die and basically are a puppet of whoever controls that main ring. It's like she's never read any of John's "Green Lantern" run or watched any of these fantasy matches." Nick says

"Princess of the nerds, my ass."