King of the Consolation Match: Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family vs Xavier's Annihilation Sqaud

Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family is:
 Zombie Sonic the Hedgehog and Doozer #7

Xavier's Annihilation Squad is:  Robin (Jason Todd) w/blue lightsaber and NFG Mike w/green lightsaber

The two members of Layander's squadron arrive at the Home Depot in Walled Lake a few minutes before the scheduled start time of the match, so they can prepare. As they enter and head down the aisles to begin gathering materials for this high profile match-up, Jason Todd arrives and waits outside for his teammate.

An hour and a half later, NFG Mike's car pulls into the parking lot, and the owner of the Annihilation Squad gets out of the car in a smoky haze and hustles over to his teammate with a Big Gulp in one hand and is finishing chewing his Big Bite Hot Dog.

"Sorry dude, sorry" mumbles Mike with his mouth full of hot dog to a visibly annoyed Robin.

"Seriously? Come on guy." fumes Todd "You've given a Doozer almost two hours in a home improvement store. God only knows what he's come up with, and do I even want to ask what that smell is? You know this is a championship match, right?"

"Relax bud, heh BUD *snicker*.  look, look. Look. Look.....What was I saying?" responds NFG

"For f**k's sake. Let's just get this s**tshow underway" and with that Jason Todd ignites his lightsaber and enters the building, while Greenwall hustles to catch up to him yelling "YO! I got something we can spark besides that lazer knife if you got the time. Yo! Hey!"

Jason throws some smokepellets and quickly climbs up the aisles to try and get a better vantage point. He scans the store, looking for any sign of his opponents.  He spots them, and gets ready to pounce when all of a sudden

'YO! JASON!!!! WHAT'S GOING ON DUDE???? YOU SEE THEM???? CAN YOU GET THEM FROM UP THERE????!!!!!"

"F**K! REALLY??" says Jason who jumps down from his vantage point and delivers a mighty drop-kick to zombie Sonic, as the undead hedgehog is down, Jason quickly cuts off it's legs, but Sonic still lives and is growling and thrashing about.

"Let's just get this over with." sighs Jason, but as he's about to plunge his lightsaber into Sonic's head and finish him off, he hears a TWANG and is struck from behind by something. Jason stumbles a bit, and looks to see what hit him as it clatters to the floor. He freezes dead in his tracks when he sees the object.

A crowbar.

*pfft* the sound of an airhammer cuts the silence as a nail strikes the paralyzed sidekick in the eye. Jason falls backwards onto the handicapped Sonic, who smells blood. The scent throws the speedy zombie into a frenzy and Jason is quickly devoured by zombie Sonic.

"Now the hard parts over" smirks Doozer #7 "Now to finish this. Come on, Sonic. Time for dessert." With that, the Doozer hustles off as fast as his little legs will take him, while zombie Sonic drags himself after him.

While his teammate is being slaughtered and devoured, NFG Mike is frantically looking for anything that will help him at this moment. The candy located by the checkouts. "Homeboy has a bad case of the munchies" he says to himself, giggling. He finally settles on a can of Pringles, and just as he pops the top, he sees the Doozer.

"What the f**k?" says NFG as he drops his chips and stumbles to get his lightsaber.

"Found him Sonic! Get over here!!!" Cries the Doozer. He rushes his opponent, a razorblade attached to each of his hands and feet. Just as he's about to pounce and knock down NFG so Sonic can finish him off, the tiny builder suddenly drops to his knees and begins to groan in pain.

"Dude. You ok?" asks NFG

The Doozer looks up at him, spits and tries to get to his feet and advance on his rival. But again, he's weaken and can't get close to his opponent.

"Sonic. Hurry. I-I can't get close to him. You gotta finish him off for me." he groans

Greenwall decides this isn't a great place for him to be, so he hurries out of the checkout, grabbing a MilkyWay on his way out. As he passes over Doozer #7, the diminutive builder lets out a mighty scream, but nothing has touched him.

"Hmmmm." thinks Mike, who sees the half a hedgehog advancing on him. Mike grabs a bag of  concrete and hurls it at Sonic. It hits him in the arm and breaks it.  Sonic is now immobile and is just snarling and spitting all over the place. Mike grabs a sledgehammer and finishes off the undead videogame mascot. That nasty bit of business over, he heads over to the Doozer. Just as the Doozer is getting back on his feet he staggers back down as Greenwall gets near him.

"Look dude, no hard feelings." says the newest FFL owner as he sits down by the agonizing Doozer. He pulls out a baggie and continues "How's about we smoke 'em peace pipe before I finish you off, just so you know there's nothing personal." he holds out the baggie to the Doozer who now begins convulsing and screaming as if he's been lit on fire.

"GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!!! IT BURNS!!!! IT BURNS!!!!!" he screams

"Dude. It's only weed. It's perfectly natural and can't kill you" the puzzled NFG says

"YOU IDIOT!!! MARIJUANA IS KRYPTONITE TO A DOOZER!!!! SOMETHING THAT RELAXES YOU AND MAKES YOU NOT REALLY CARES ABOUT WORKING???!!!! GET IT AWAY!!!!"

"Really? Huh. I'll be damned." says MIke. "Well dude, I hate to see you like this, and like that saying goes. No friend of weed? No friend indeed" he pulls out his lightsaber and puts Doozer #7 out of his misery.

"Now to show why I have a GREEN lightsaber" smiles NFG who turns the lightsaber just so, that it's now a bong. He's just about ready to fire up a victory smoke when he asks himself

"Hey. Whatever happened to Jason??!!!"