Sunday, November 24, 2013

President Barack Obama and Beckerman present: The Mickey Mouse Red Army vs Team Fighting Murderflies

A chill fills the air as Nekron approaches his teammate, Dora the Explorer.

"I don't fear you you know" whispers Dora, unflinching at the arrival of death itself.

"And why is that, child" asks Nekron "All fear death"

"You silenced the voices" Dora replies "All the voices. The kids telling me what to do. WHich road to take. Swiper no swiping. Swiper no SWIping. SWIPER NO SWIPING. NOSWIPINGNOSWIPINGSWIPERNOSWIPING!!"  she lets loose an ear shattering scream, then catches herself starting to loose control. She turns her head, slightly cracking her neck, and continues

"You know. I thought maybe joining this league would silence the voices. That I wouldn't CONSTANTLY have to ask them what to do. What they saw, what was going on. But it didn't. If anything, things got worse. I still can hear the screams of death. The smell of burning flesh. The sounds of explosions. Seeing my friends viciously murdered right before my eyes....even getting a championship didn't stop the VOICES. It DIDN"T WASH THE BLOOD OFF OF MY HANDS!!!!" her lip quivers " *sniff*...You know that's why Pablo finally snapped. The coke, the killing, the sex. This....this LEAGUE. It poisoned my friend. IT POISONS EVERYTHING"

Dora looks Nekron, her eyes brimming with tears. "But you..." she stammers "Your...touch. The cold. The quiet. You stopped the voices. I- I was FREE....but then...THEN...they BROUGHT. ME. BACK. They couldn't let me rest....couldn't just SHUT. UP!!!" Dora punches the mirror infront of her-shattering it.

"Now, I have to do it all over again. The violence, the brief quiet, more death, more depravity, it's...it's TOO much"

"Enough, you insolent brat" sneers Nekron "You think YOU are the only one who suffers?? Look at me. Look how they abuse and pervert my powers. They created nonsense such as a black lantern Al Dogg. They force me into battle, and shackle my true abilities. This very night, THIS. NIGHT. Joshatu sees the scope of my powers, my true abilities unleashed and he DARES to discipline me like a dog that has defecated on the floor. HE lays his filthy hands upon death itself, thinking his is a force mightier than mine. He will PAY for this. They will ALL pay for their transgressions."

"Yes. YES!" grins Dora "We'll make them ALL pay! We must CLEAN this abomination of a League. Together mi amigo, together we can finally SHUT THE VOICES UP!!" Dora cackles "WOULD YOU LIKE THAT JOSHATU?? WOULD YOU LIKE ME AND NEKRON TO PUT AN END TO THE FANTASY FANTASY LEAGUE??"

"Not really, no." says Joshatu as he materializes before the two disgruntled allstars "As a matter of fact, I'd like to get this thing over with already, it's taking FOREVER. Let's just have the battle already so we can move on."

"Insolent human! You DARE to talk to.." begins Nekron

"Dude. F**k off." says Josh as he snaps his fingers, Nekron vanishes. "God. I really don't like all these friggin color corps. Makes the rings less special and cool if every doucher can have one."

Dora drops to her knees weeping and screams "NNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!! HE WAS THE KEY TO ME NOT HAVING"

"Yeah, yeah. To quieting the voices. I get it. Here's let me help you shut them up." Joshatu points his fingers and mimicks firing a gun

"Bang." he says

"Thank you" whimpers Dora as her head explodes.

"Eh, not too bad." says Joshatu "Kinda bulls**t that the ACTUAL opponents didn't really factor in, but whatevs. At least the match is posted."

Joshatu whips out his smartphone and pulls up the final tally of matches "In the interest of not waiting another couple of months, I hereby declare that whatever division wins the most matches are the victors. So, with a score of 6-3 I hereby declare that 2013 AllStar game goes to THE STAN LEE CONFERENCE!!!!"

"Peace out, bros. See you at the draft" says Joshatu as he leaves.




5 comments:

Krisatu said...

President Barack Obama and Beckerman present: The Mickey Mouse Red Army: All dead

Team Fighting Murderflies: Red Son Superman and Spartacus survive.

TEAM FIGHTING MURDERFLIES IS VICTORIOUS!!!

Josh the Commish said...

Ha. Joshatu's a dick. I can't stand that guy!! Cool match Seney!! Congrats Stan Lee Conference!!

Hypocritical NFG said...

We... we did it? BYAHHH!!! F them! And Im not crazy about Joshatu being so involved w the match.... It seems incestuous. For shame.

Robimus Prime said...

I, Robimus Prime, have no issue with Joshatu being involved. I, Robimus Prime, was born in the same way.

Repentant NFG said...

Why do all my poor attempts at humor end with me being targeted by killer robots?