Unlucky 13: Griswold's Nut-Busters vs The Royal Highness

The Nut-Busters are Jarvis, Heat Man, Brood Alien #6, G.L. 7177.6, Dark Side Marauder #6, Droid Fighter Ship #18, Sharkticon #10, Sentinel #12, Brass Dragon #4, and Doozer #5.

The Highness is Nova (w/ Xandarian Worldmind), Beast (Original), The Phantom Stranger, Chriselion, Hush, Chameleon, Micah Jiett, Jedi Master #41, Sunstreaker, The Ideon, Black Lantern Super Soldier, Invincible, and Linus Van Pelt.

   Outside an old fueling station on Gobotron, the Nut-Busters gathered for warmth around Heat Man. The planet was a cold and desolate place since the GoBots were sold in to slavery by the ever-resourceful Junkions, and rust was slowly eating it away. Edwin Jarvis sat with their Doozer mascot on his shoulder, examining G.L. 7177.6 in an effort to occupy his thoughts. The Dark Side Marauder, Sharkticon, and Brood kept watch at the feet of the Sentinel. Above them, a Brass Dragon and Droid Fighter Ship circled in constant patrol. "Is this all really worth it for a spacecraft?" Jarvis lamented. "We got to this awful place just fine without it." Heat Man rubbed his temples. "Jeez, Jeeves, you sure can be a whiner for all you've been put through. Suck it up now or lay down and die, 'cause we're gonna be here a while." Jarvis sighed and attempted to regain composure. "I suppose if we're dying either way we should die fighting. Repeatedly." From thin air, The Phantom Stranger stepped out before the squad. "And you'll get your wish, Edwin." he assured the butler. By instinct, the Brood charged The Stranger. With a brief glance, he turned his assailant inside-out. "I've seen this play out countless different ways. You can only prolong the inevitable."

   The Nut-Busters stood alert, and the Dark Side Marauder spoke with awe in her voice. "Your power is incredible. If you want us dead, why are we still here?" The Stranger cracked a smirk. "Don't misunderstand, I'm only offering fair warning. The others will take care of it. Frankly, I don't have time for little things." The Stranger vanished into a cloud of smoke that emerged from his trenchcoat, and for a moment things were quiet. The silence was broken when Micah Jiett and an accompanying Jedi Master leapt from the smoke, cutting down the Dark Side Marauder and Sharkticon effortlessly with their lightsabers. As Heat Man began to take action, a sphere of solid green light formed around him, Jarvis, and G.L. 7177.6. Chriselion had arrived, and he began to shrink his construct around his foes. G.L. 7177.6 activated his internal power battery and absorbed the energy from their prison, leeching the remaining power from Chriselion's ring. The Lantern was helpless, and the freed Heat Man crushed him into the ground with a burning fist before turning his attention back to the two Jedi.

  The Jedi Master ran around distracting the giant android while Jiett tried to climb to the head and find a weak point to strike. Unfortunately, this attracted the attention of the nearby Droid Fighter Ship, which began to spray laser fire at the unsuspecting Micah until nothing remained but a pair of smoldering legs. "Jiett, no! Jiett is down! Send the backup, qui-!" The Jedi Master's shouting was cut short as Heat Man grabbed his neck and ignited his head. In moments, a rumbling noise was heard approaching from down the road. Three armored trucks pulled to the edge of the fray, driven by Beast, Hush, and Invincible, while Sunstreaker, Nova, and Black Lantern Super Soldier followed close behind them. "Could you drive those any slower?" Sunstreaker complained. "We practically missed the whole fight." The trucks began to transform and merge into Ideon. After the Sentinel brushed off Micah Jiett's remains, it detected Beast inside the newly formed mecha nearby. It fired an energy blast at The Ideon, but to no effect. In retaliation, the Ideon produced an energy sword from each wrist and swiftly cut the Sentinel to ribbons. Sunstreaker scoffed. "Somebody is overcompensating. Is it because it takes 3 pilots just to make you work?" The Ideon, barely sentient at best, was silent.

   Jarvis had attempted to distance himself from the fight, but soon he felt a tap on his shoulder. He was surprised to see the familiar face of Tony Stark. "Hey Jarvis, how's the big tussle?" Stark inquired. "If you're feeling tired, we could always go home. Drink some cocoa, snuggle by the fire." Jarvis raised his fists. "Oh, how precious. Nice try, but I know a thing or two about doppelgangers." The misdirection still proved effective, as Linus Van Pelt jumped up from behind and wrapped his blanket around Jarvis's throat. As the Doozer attempted to flee from his perch, Chameleon caught him and crushed him between his fingers. "Shh, it's nap time now." Linus whispered to his victim. "Be one with the blanket. Shh... sleeeeep." Jarvis fell to the ground, and Linus stood. He turned expectantly to Chameleon, who had reverted to his natural form. "Uh... G-great job, kid." Chameleon stammered, horrified by his mascot's display. The remaining Nut-Busters grouped closely, surrounded by The Royal Highness. Nova promptly removed the Brass Dragon and Droid Fighter Ship with blasts of energy before attacking Heat Man. Black Lantern Super Soldier was drawn to the green glow of 7177.6's power battery. He tackled the robot and began pummeling it in to the ground. Unable to drain the black ring of its power, G.L. 7177.6 resorted to a final solution: mutually assured destruction. The plating over his power battery popped open and began to glow brightly. Heat Man and Nova abruptly ceased fire and turned to their teammates in horror. Before they could speak, the blast took them. Waves of green light demolished the battlefield, leaving a crater nearly half-mile across in its place. From the red-hot remains of The Ideon, Invincible emerged to survey what remained. No other survivors could be found. At his side appeared The Phantom Stranger, who clasped his ally's shoulder. "You all did well today," he assured Invincible, "but we can't stop to mourn. Even now, there are others drawing closer to The Revenge." Invincible clenched a fist. "You could have done something. You could have written them out of existence. Instead you hid back, and for what? Some code of non-interference?"

The Stranger glared plaintively at the fourth wall. "My power was... limited. Some things can't be controlled." With that, they left the wreckage for their next destination.