Unlucky 13: Horsemen vs. Midgets

The Horsemen of Apokolips are: Taskmaster w/Indy's whip, Exodus, High Evolutionary, Firestorm(Jason Rousch), White Lantern Sinestro, Deathstroke w/Luke's lightsaber, White suit Anakin, Ce Ce Denowi w/ Indigo Lantern ring, Springer w/Green Lantern ring, Slag w/Red Lantern Ring, Black Hand, Smaug the Dragon, and Fry Guy #3.

The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets are: Black Knight(Age of Apocalypse), Cyclops, Azazel, Larvox, Deadshot, Pre Visla w/Darksaber and Mandalorian Armor, Oppo Rancisis, Twincast, Decible, Legout, Black Lantern Sinestro, Hermes, and Nick Nack.

"..... ADE!!! ..... LADE! ..... SLADE!!! GET UP!!! C'mon man, even Wade regenerates faster than this!" shouts Taskmaster. Deathstroke looks around to get his bearings. The carnage is enough to give even a seasoned killer like him pause, albeit a slight one. The Gobotron building he last remembers himself inside has been reduced to a single wall. Various pieces of metal litter the area, and the scent of death permeates everything. Bodies, brains and blood are strewn about, and Slade Wilson thinks that maybe he was better off remaining unconcious.

"What happened?' asks Deathstroke. "You took one helluva shot there, buddy! How much do you remember?" inquires Taskmaster. "Not much... my head is still ringing." replies Slade. "I'll fill you in the best I can, but we don't have a lot of time. We... we were doomed from the start. As soon as we got to this planet, everyone just started acting... weird." states Taskmaster. "Weird? Horsemen don't act weird. I thought we were better than that." counters Deathstroke. "That's what I thought too, but lo and behold... weird. Started with White Lantern Sinestro destroying The Black Hand's Black Lantern ring, then he brought the guy back to life. I'm sure he figured he was helping, but as soon as Black Hand came to, the guy freaks out and jumps off the nearest cliff!" explains Taskmaster. "I knew Hand was a little off, but damn." responds Slade. "Right? Then The High Evolutionary and Smaug the Dragon left together and never came back. I have a theory about that one, though!" waxes Taskmaster. "Not another one of your hair-brained theories. This should be good..." says Slade. "See, The Evolutionary was talking to Smaug about reaching the next level or something. So Smaug agrees and off they go. ...You ever hear of Wundagore Mountain?" asks Taskmaster. "No. Is there a point to this?" questions Deathstroke. "Check it out. Legend has it that a bunch of human/animal hybrids live up there, all made by The High Evolutionary. Dude... I think he f*cks animals..." claims Taskmaster. "So, I figure he put the dragon-man whammy on Smaug and tried to put the moves on him! Smaug ain't feeling it, so he kills The Evolutionary. Then takes a shame related dive off the same cliff the Black Hand jumped from!" concludes Taskmaster. "Sounds pretty hard to believe." says Slade. "I know it sounds crazy, but it's the best I could come up with. Anyway, that transforming chopper we had patrolling overhead starts firing everything it's got. The Midgets sent almost everyone on some kinda suicide run. A few stayed behind, but that's it. Next thing you know, our helicopter comes crashing through the ceiling and it's on like neckbone, brother! Between the lasers, lightsabers and Lantern rings, I couldn't see sh*t! I saw you get knocked out by some of the ceiling debris, so I followed suit and played dead." explains Taskmaster. "You're a disgrace." chides Deathstroke. "Hey, at least I'm still alive! Besides, there wasn't much I was going to do against giant robots and space cops and sh*t... Gimme a break, bro." says Taskmaster. "So the battle rages on, and toward the horizon they go. Next thing you know, that kid Firestorm blows up and KA-BOOSH! Everyone gets vaporized! Can you believe someone was actually stupid enough to kill him in a crowd? He's like a walking nuclear bomb! Frankly, I dont' even like being around him... he kinda freaks me out." adds Taskmaster. "So just to be clear, everyone else is dead?" asks Slade. "Yup, well... on our side, at least. So, here's the plan: We get the f*ck out of Dodge while we still have a chance." says Taskmaster. "Retreat? Are you out of your mind?!? No way. Don't you remember what he did to Green Ranger Tommy?" counters Deathstroke with a rare hint of sadness in his voice. "Relax Slade. I mean, it's the off-season. The punishment won't be that severe, right? assures Taskmaster. Deathstroke still isn't going for the escape plan and shakes his head. "Suit yourself. If you do wise up and decide to leave, watch out. I think Cyclops and Deadshot are having some kind of sniper competition." advises Taskmaster before he carefully makes his escape. There are a few tense minutes, but Deathstroke eventually hears the echo of the inevitable killshot.

"Heh. Got 'em. That's 2-1, Summers." says Deadshot. "This isn't a competition, Lawton." replies Cyclops. "Suuuure it's not." retorts Deadshot. Cyclops, Deadshot, Oppo Rancisis, and Nick Nack are hunkered down in a building not far from The Horsemens' now nearly destroyed base of operations. "Pretty ballsy sending almost everyone over there to attack. I like it." comments Deadshot. "It seemed like our only successful course of action. And when I was certain Oppo's Jedi battle meditation was working on them, I knew we had to strike hard." explains Cyclops. "Hell yeah, that battle meditation did the trick! Those guys seem like they dark impulses to begin with, but they reeeeeally started acting weird. I heard one of 'em even F*cked that dragon!" laughs Deadshot. "That's purely speculation." counters Cyclops. "Listen Cyke, I know Slade, and he's smart enough to figure out when he's screwed. He's not going anywhere. I say we send Nick Nack over there to give Wilson a chance to surrender. Otherwise we'll be here for weeks." suggests Deadshot. "When you put it like that, I suppose it could work. Worst case scenario, we'll still be ahead." ponders Cyclops. "Ok, Nick Nack, you know what to do." orders Summers. The dimunitive Bond villain nods and heads to the wall that Deathstroke is hidden behind. A long minute passes, and the silence is broken by shattering glass. The sword impaled corpse of Nick Nack lands in the Midgets building with a note attached. Deadshot looks at the note and smiles. "See Summers, I told you Slade's no fool. The note says "sure." reads Deadshot. "Lawton, you idiot. Unfold the note completely." says an observant Cyclops. "Oh..." says a slightly embarassed Deadshot. He reads the entire message in horror. "It says "No surrender...." mumbles a stunned Deadshot before the explosives attached to Nick Nack's corpse kills the remaining Midgets.

Deathstoke uses binoculars to make sure his prey is terminated, and is pleased with his results. He dials a number on his phone. "Hello. ... Yes, of course I get reception on Gobotron. ... Yes, of course I got the job done. I'm simply calling to let you know that I will be asking double my normal rate. ... I'm glad you see things my way. I'll have my invoice sent right away. Enjoy your evening." concludes Slade Wilson as he hangs up the phone.