Unlucky 13: Turrible Decisions Vs. Midgets

Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions(Squad #2) are: Black Widow, Magma, Shaki merged w/Shao Khan, Kingdom Come Blue Beetle, Red Lantern Jeff Houslander, Bizarro Supergirl, Losho Yik, Mara Jade, Cliff Jumper, Junkeon #7, and Treasure Troll #20.

The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets(Squad#2) are: Glom, Longshot, Toad, Blue and Green Lantern Hal Jordan, Star Saphirre #5, Eclipso, Jeer Dextron, Jedi Master #33A, Sharkticon #37, Vampire #100, Stratos, and Mokey.

"Sigh, I guess I'm just not feeling this one." mutters Longshot to himself as he wanders Gobotron aimlessly. He isn't paying attention and walks between the lightsaber duel of Losho Yik and Jeer Dextron. He is miraculously unharmed, although the two Force users are not as lucky and simultaneously run each other through. He looks around and sees Mara Jade cut down Jedi Master #33A in the distance. She quickly runs to aid Cliff Jumper against Sharkticon #37, the latter of whom had just finished consuming Junkeon #7. Cliff Jumper shoots Sharkticon #37 with his glass gas gun, and Mara Jade shatters the now brittle Decepticon with a single blow. "Take that Decepti-creep! Thanks lady!" says Cliff Jumper. They head to what seems to be the main event raging not too far away. This battle features Skadi merged with Shao Khan, KFC Blue Beetle, and Magma versus Eclipso, Toad, Glom, Star Saphirre #5, and Vampire #100. The mascots wisely decide to stay back and cheer on their respective teams from a distance. A shot rings out and Toad's head explodes, courtesy of a high caliber bullet fired by a hidden, sniping Black Widow. The giant headed Glom has finished off eating the energy rich form of Magma, and now is drawn to Shao Khan's hammer. Glom imbibes a good amount of power, but then feels odd due to the conflicting energies within him. Another expert shot from Black Widow takes him out, and his oversaturated body explodes, taking KFC Blue Beetle and Vampire #100 with him. Cliff Jumper and Mara Jade finally reach the battle. Eclipso begins to laugh. "Your friends can't help you now! Your only chance against me was your hammer being at full power, which is no longer the case!" sneers Eclipso. The Star Saphirre #5 uses the power of her ring to hold the... Barkleys(?)... Decisions(?)... um... Turribles(?)... eh, screw it. Eclipso blasts them all with his gem and they are toast.

A still moping Longshot has choosen to sit on the battlefield. The mutant is unscathed as metal rains down from above by a destroyed Stratos, due to it's literal run-in with Bizarro Supergirl. Blue/Green Lantern Hal Jordan spots Longshot, and the hope filled warrior decides to hang out. "Beautiful day, eh Longshot?" asks Hal. "Meh, I suppose... I think it's this planet. It such a cheap knock off, and I'm starting to wonder about what we do..." he trails off, lost in thought. "Cheer up pal! Things always turn out! Take me for instance. wasn't getting a whole lot done, then BAM! I see a Red Lantern and it's on! Took him out with a lil blue energy and he's done! I think he said his name was Jeff Homeearther or something like that. Don't worry, you'll get your chance to shine!" encourages Hal. "I think you mean Houslander, not Homeearther. Bad move dude. You know that guy's related to our owner, right?" asks Longshot. Before B/G Lantern Hal can consider the consequences of his kill, Bizarro Supergirl flies to the pair of Midgets. "Bizarro friends." says Bizarro Supergirl. As he is unaware of the nature of Bizarro-speak, B/G Lantern Hal takes it as a compliment. "Awwww, thanks Kara! That's awfully sweet of you! I know I shouldn't do this, but since we're friends, I'll gladly clear up that nasty infection on your face. But keep it to yourself, people might not like different teams getting together like this!" says B/G Hal. He attempts to use the healing power of his blue ring, but instead the ring destroys Bizarro Supergirl. "Um, that wasn't supposed to happen... Sorry Kara..." laments B/G Hal. Dammit! It's always the same. Fighting and dying... so pointless... IT'S NOT FAIR!!!" yells Longshot as he angrily throws one of his knives into the air randomly. "Hey man, it's not so bad. Sure, fighting and dying can be kind of a bummer, but is it really that different from what people do in everyday life? At least we're guaranteed to have some awesome adventures along the way! Trust me Longshot, all will be well!" encourages B/G Hal.

KA-POW!!!

The shot rings out from Black Widow's rifle and B/G Hal doesn't have a chance. "Do suidaniya, you womanizing dog." comments Natasha Romanov to herself as she reloads. "Now for you comrade Longshot." she says as his head is almost in her sights. Just then, Longshot's previously thrown knife lands in the Widow's spine, making her jerk her rifle and improbably snipe Treasure Troll #20. The nearby Fraggle Mokey is spooked by the shot, and she runs frantically until she accidentally trips and falls into a pit. Longshot is amazed by the unlikely chain of events and a small smile rises to his lips. "Ok, maybe things like that make it worth it." he says to himself grinning.