Season 8: Playoffs Round Two: The Royal Highness vs TEAM

The Royal Highness are Mogo, Lady Q, Q2, Yoda, Batman, Mr. Fantastic w/ the Ultimate Nullifier, Paul Atreides, Sandworm #1A, Doomslayer, Cyborb Doomsday, Steel Doomsday, Superboy Doomsday, Apollo (Authority), Ronan the Accuser, Godzilla, The Flash (Barry Allen), Good Luck Bear, Doozer #3. Death Star and Gungnir will also make appearances.

TEAM is Unicron, Thor, Red Sun Superman, Thunderstrike, Ragnarok, Captain America, Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, Black Lantern Incredible Hulk, Supergirl (Linda Danavers), Streaks the Super Cat, Comet the Super Horse, Sif and the Warriors Three (Hogun, Volstagg and Fandreal), Black Lantern Darth Vader, Michael Demuirgos and Emerald Weapon.

The Playoff Planet. Once a vibrant place, bursting with life. Lush terrains, beautiful deserts and plentiful oceans full of wondrous creatures. Now the planet is nothing but a tomb. Only, unlike a normal tomb, this planet has nothing inside of it. Now it is a barren wasteland, full of just one thing, emptiness

Paul Atreides stares out at the wasteland, wondering where his Sandworm will go. The Highness’ Sandworm just lies, squirming on the empty planet landscape, unable to move. Paul stares at the poor beast, thinking of something to fix this issue when before he can even lift a finger, the head of the beast is blasted away by Red Sun Superman’s heat vision. Paul, who never anticipated this so early in the fight, attempts to use his sight on the Kryptonian but is never fully able to focus on the TEAM member before he is ripped in half by the Incredible Hulk.

TEAM comes out of the gate like gangbusters, but is soon met with somebody not exactly their size in Yoda. Yoda rushes the Incredible Hulk, striking him with his lightsaber, which is actually managing to cut through the skin of the green behemoth. Superman rushes in and sends a blast of heat vision directly at the tiny Jedi, which knocks him to the ground, losing his lightsaber in the process.

Yoda quickly regains his balance and within seconds, is back to defending himself. Only this time he is not alone. Coming in to even this fight are Batman, Barry Allen and Apollo. The Incredible Hulk is immediately overwhelmed, forcing him to jump as far away as he can from the melee. Superman takes flight over his foes, sending heat blasts down to the ground, making very little contact with the Highness members.

A Rumble from below the ground is felt and a huge crack in the hardened floor breaks open to reveal the Final Fantasy super boss known as Emerald Weapon. Immediately the FF boss is sending Emerald Beam’s and Emerald Revenge shots at his opponents, who are caught completely by surprise. The Emerald Beam knocks Yoda and Batman down to the ground but Barry Allen is able to get away. Apollo had since taken flight to follow after Superman, where they began simultaneous attacks on each other.

Yoda gets up once again and directly attacks the FF character, stabbing his lightsaber directly into the gut of the very powerful creature, weakening it with every second the blade is inside. From out of nowhere, Captain America comes flying in on Comet the Super Horse, blasting the most powerful of all Jedi once more to the ground. Iron Man follows directly behind his Avengers teammate and makes quick work of Batman, who was never able to fully recover from the Emerald Revenge attack.

Tony Stark: The Batman of DC my ass! At least I am more than willing to kill somebody you sociopathic freak.

Iron Man’s sarcastic reign is quickly put to rest as Barry Allen grabs hold of the Philanthropic Billionaire and races him around the planet so fast that his suit is unable to quantify the speeds that they are traveling at, rendering him unable to breathe, therefore killing him.

Barry Allen: Seventy Five years and still all you guys have been able to come up with is Quicksilver, shame on you Tony.

In the sky Superman and Apollo go at it as only two god-like creatures are able to. Both of them sending blasts at each other, only to miss by inches each time. Superman and Apollo continue to fly at each other, trying to gain an edge that does not seem to ever come. That is until Unicron fully completes an eclipse of the Playoff Planets star, creating darkness on the planet. Apollo, whose power comes from the Star slowly begins to lose his power and eventually finds himself weakened to the point of being unable to fly any longer. This makes him begin to head down to the surface, but not before Superman is able to get a handle on the situation by grabbing hold of his opponent and sending him straight down to the ground. The impact of the planet’s surface on his skull is devastating, taking his life away from him for the remainder of the fight.

In the darkness of the planet, the remaining fighters try to find a way to see while knowing that their opponent could have already figured out a way to see their way through this fight. Yoda, who normally would use his lightsaber to get through a fight, has decided to keep his weapon at his side. Instead, the Jedi Master has decided to use his knowledge of the force to detect the enemy’s around him.

Superman, like Yoda, has decided to use alternate means to detect his opponents. Only instead of the force, he uses his infrared vision to detect the heat signatures of the Highness members. This naturally gives him the advantage, as he is now able to see Barry Allen in his hyper-speed form. He flies over to Captain America who is blind to the fight and tells Comet to fly towards a specific spot. He then tells the Captain to throw his shield towards a specific spot in Three, Two, One, Go!!!! The Captain’s shield hits Allen in the head, sending him crashing down into the brick like ground of the planet’s floor. Allen who still does not know what has hit him is unable to regain his composure before he is met with the Kryptonian, who takes care of Allen by ripping his throat out Roadhouse style.

Yoda senses his teammate’s demise, realizing it is time to enforce his plan with the Q members in the Death Star above. In the darkness of this place, the light from the Death Star above is very easily seen and before Superman or any of his teammates are able to escape, the Death Star sends a blast towards them that completely destroys the entire Playoff Planet once and for all. The blast leaves nothing but small chunks of debris in its place. Superman, Comet, Emerald Weapon, the Incredible Hulk, Captain America and Yoda himself have all been obliterated in the attack, leaving the remaining members of this fight to the other planets in the space outside of the former playoff home world.

Unicron does not take this attack lying down (though technically because of the nature of space, you could maybe make the argument that Unicron is always lying down, but I digress) as he sends a massive blast towards the Death Star, completely destroying it as well.

The remaining Highness members look upon the space in which the Death Star used to occupy and realize the fight will likely be coming down to them on the surface of Mogo. Mr. Fantastic looks down in his hands to make sure the Ultimate Nullifier is still in his possession, he knows how crucial it may be for his team to come out of this contest alive.

Mr. Fantastic: The final report from Q2 told me that the remaining members of The Egomaniacal Ass Munchers all remain inside of Unicron.

Good Luck Bear: Sorry to interrupt Reed, but what are The Egomaniacal Ass Munchers?

Mr. Fantastic: I don’t understand the question. Do you mean who is still left of their team?

GLB: No I mean, who are you referring to?

Mr. Fantastic: Our opponent’s. It took me some time to figure out what TEAM stood for but I finally figured it out.

GLB: No offense but I highly doubt that is what it stands for.

Mr. Fantastic: Look, am I not the smartest person in this league?

GLB: It’s debatable but I suppose.

Steel Doomsday: ENOUGH! Here they come.

Lead by Thor and Supergirl, the remaining TEAM members make their way down to the surface of Ego, setting up for one final bloodbath on the planet’s beautiful surface. Ego is shooting off surges of green energy at the incoming combatants, blasts that are ending the lives of multiple TEAM members.

Streaks the Super Cat was only able to take a few hits before being blown to green mist. The same could be said for Volstagg, who despite his Asgardian resistance to attacks, was still overwhelmed by the blasts. Thor and both Black Lanterns were able to defend themselves against Mogo’s blasts, but it still took a lot out of them to put up the defense. Unicron, always aware of this teammates circumstances gave them much needed cover as he mounted his own attack against the Green Lantern power battery, sending blast after blast into the center of the planet.

Despite Mogo’s great power, Unicron’s attacks were beginning to injury him so instead of focusing his attacks on the single TEAM members, it changed its target to Unicron itself. The attacks from both planets were brutal, making the surface of Mogo a little unstable at the moment.

Mr. Fantastic spoke to the Doomsday crew as they awaited the oncoming onslaught from TEAM.

Mr. Fantastic: I need to find a way of getting inside of Unicron. With the Ultimate Nullifier I can once and for all end that dreadful robot’s life.

Ronan the Accuser: Leave that bit to me Reed. (Looking at the Doomsday’s) Go take care of them. (Pointing to Thor and the bunch)

The Doomsday crew all smile as they took off for TEAM members, who had no idea what was about to hit them. Hogun and Fandral both found themselves in a fight with Cyborg Doomsday, who easily dispatched of the remaining Warriors Three. Sif looked stunned at this development, though it did not slow her down as she took on the Cyborg head on, in a fight that would not end so quickly. The Black Lantern version of Darth Vader joined Sif in her attack and despite the fact that the Cyborg Doomsday was able to take care of her friends, this fight would not find himself with such luck. Vader used his ability with the force along with his Black Lantern ring to obliterate the cyborg creation, ending his life.

BL Darth Vader: This is what passes for a cyborg these days my lady, what a shame.

Sif: Vader, watch yourself!!!

Doomslayer rushed up behind Vader and crushed his ring wearing hand, sending the Sith Cyborg crumbling down into a pile of black powder.

Doomslayer: A shame indeed. Now my lady, let me do the honors.

Thor: Sif, I think you need this more than me right now.

Thor throws Mjolnir to Sif and she uses it to deflect the massive hit from Doomslayer, sending him right to the ground.

Sif: Thanks lover. Now where was I?

Sif then proceeds to pound Doomslayer into the ground until there is nothing left of him.

An ear piercing roar is heard in the background as Godzilla makes his way towards the fight. Sif throws Mjolnir back to Thor as he makes his way towards the massive beast. Supergirl and Ragnarok join Thor in his attack, hoping it will be enough to take it down. Godzilla opens his great mouth and coats the ground in front of them with his radioactive blasts. All three TEAM members manage to avoid the blast but make very little headway towards the mighty lizard. They each attempt to attack him to no avail.

Nearby, Black Lantern Incredible Hulk and Thunderstrike both take on Steel Doomsday and Superboy Doomsday. The fight is intense but when the dust settles, Superboy Doomsday is the only one left. Though he is injured, he is still able to make his way over to Sif for one more fight.

Thor and his teammates continue to fight the Godzilla, a fight that has already seen Supergirl succumb to the giant beast.

Mogo and Unicron continue to send Death Star like blasts at each other, making the planet even more unstable to stand on. One of these blasts from Unicron actually shakes the surface enough to cause Godzilla to fall over, a fall that left him vulnerable just long enough for Thor to crush the creatures head into the ground for the very last time.

Mr. Fantastic and Ronan, who had already made their way up to the Helicarrier, had decided that their friends needed a little help from up above. Ronan using the weaponry of the carrier accompanied with his Universal Weapon, sent a blast down to the core of Mogo.

Mr. Fantastic: Ronan, what are you doing?

Ronan: My apologies Mogo, but this is the playoffs and it has to be done.

The blast not only kills the Green Lantern power battery but also destroys everything on the planet’s surface.

Ronan: Hold on Reed, time to finish this match off once and for all.

Ronan teleports himself and Reed to the center of Unicron, where the massive Transformer has ceased firing on the now dormant Royal Highness planet.

Ronan: Now Reed, I believe you have something to give this abominable robot.

Reed then pulls out the Ultimate Nullifier and raises it up into the air. At first nothing happens and then out the nowhere, a laugh is heard that reverberates throughout the entirety of the massive robot.

Michael Demuirgos: (Laughing still) The Ultimate Nullifier. My brother once called me by the exact same name. A cute nickname for a piece of technology that claims to carry with it the power of a god. I wonder what it would do against an actual god.

Reed then finds himself unable to hold the device any longer. He then drops it into the body of the transformer but before it lands, it disappears into thin air.

Michael Dermuirgos: Alas, not very well I see. (Laughs) Now Reed, let’s see how you do against an actual god.

Reed suddenly finds himself unable to think as his head is filled with the sound of a thousand dying worlds, screams that make him drop to the ground. Blood spills out of every pore in Reed Richards body, immediately killing him.

Ronan the Accuser: (Laughing himself) Parlor tricks Michael. Now let me see what you can do with somebody your equal.

Ronan then uses his Gauntlet’s to freeze the interior of Unicron, suspending the robot completely in place. Michael then creates multiple illusionary versions of himself, forcing Ronan to attack in every direction. The attacks and the illusions go on for a while until finally Michael appears behind Ronan. Michael then uses Ronan’s gauntlet against him by freezing his Exo-skeleton armor to the point of no return as it shatters. Ronan then turns around and stabs Michael through the chest, impaling him with a fatal blow.

Michael’s acid blood covers the platform they are standing on as well as spraying acid on Ronan himself. Ronan begins to laugh as Michael begins to fade away.

Ronan: You may have injured me Michael, but as I have proven to more than one “So-Called God” in the past, nobody gets the best of me.

Michael: (Coughing up blood and fading fast) You very well may be a God like me Ronan, but if there is one fault the both of us share, it is our inability to see past ourselves.

Ronan: And why would you consider that a fault?

Michael: (With his final breathe) Because, if you could see beyond yourself (coughs) you would have realized that (coughing up more blood) there was one survivor left on the planet’s surface down below.

Ronan: (Laughing hard) A Survivor!?! Nobody could have survived…

Before Ronan was even able to finish his sentence he was met with the blunt end of Mjolnir, a shot that knocked Ronan off of the crumbling platform and into the vacuum of space. Thor then took Mjolnir and knocked the ice off of Unicron with successive crashes to its inner hull, waking up the massive robot.

Thor: Wake up Uni, it’s time to show this God what a true warrior can do.

Unicron then sends a single pointed blast at the falling Ronan, overloading the king of the Kree soldiers until he is nothing but another speck of dust in the cosmos.

Thor: Very well Unicron, I suppose a victory will be an acceptable prize for our duty today. Now let’s go back and mourn our fallen brothers, for this fight is only just the beginning.