Better Than All of You Vs. The Super Orange Kitty Sisters

Better Than All of You is Dark Phoenix, Cosmic Spider-Man, Namor: The Sub-Mariner, The Sando Aqua Monster, Agamemnon & Juno, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Shipwreck, Sonny, TheN Shark (from Jaws 4), Duff McKagen in a Penguin Suit, Predator #1-15, Slimer, Red She-Hulk, Eeore, and Red Dragon #5.

The Super Orange Kitty Sisters are Abeloth, Ocean Master, Aqualad, Shockwave, Phibian #1-20, Aphrodite, Tomar Tu, The Protectobots, Queen Alien, Bubba Duck, Daisy Duck, Daffy Duck, Ttanus, Squirtle, Blastois, Agent #1 and Agent #2.


I, Joshatu The Incredible, even with my amazing intellect and superior story telling skills must admit that water matches, though integral in the functionality of The Fantasy Fantasy League, tend to be a bit boring. I never have, in my infinite wisdom ever figured out how to make one of these aquatic adventures into an exciting masterpiece. So, I will simply say from the onset before we (pardon the pun) dive into this match that both of these teams are excellent Hydro-Forces and their owners deserve praise for assembling them.

Betters Team Captain Namor, decided to euthanize Red Dragon #5 before the match started. In this bit of mercy, he thought it better to let the majestic creature die peacefully than drown in the bone-crushing depths of Naboo. Namor offered this same bit of mercy to Eeore, but the donkey simply replied: “It doesn't matter” and was thrust into the water with the rest of his squad.

Namor leads the charge for the Betters, while Ocean Master takes point for The Kitties. Dark Phoenix is using Cosmic Spider-Man as her own personal power vessel as she begins to unleash her power in the form of an eight-legged bird of prey; but she is cornered by the intense Force power of Abeloth. The cosmic Universe Destroyers (Shout out Old Man Parks and Conner) engulf each other and are blasted into infinity to continue their battle for all eternity.

Red She-Hulk took a deep breath right before the team was dropped into the Planet Core. She can hold her breath for a ridiculous amount of time, but she soon became winded after repeated blows to the mid-section by The Two Agents of the Matrix. The last thing She-Rulk saw was the apathetic body of Eeore being ripped apart in the massive undertow. The Agents seem fine in the water, as they are not at all human as they appear to be, but simply computer programs. They may be unaffected by the water, but they do not fare as well against the laser blast from the water-adapted lasgun cannons of the Cymek Titans Agamemnon and Juno.

Shipwreck is rocking an antiquated, but kinda nifty old diving suit from his ship and has teamed up with Slimer and Duff McKagen who is ecstatic to not only be in his new Penguin Suit, but to know that because of that suit, he has basically been solidified as a staple for The Better Than All of You Water Squad (job security for the win). Shipwreck, Duff, and their ghostly friend make short work of Daisy and Daffy Duck but have a little more trouble with Bubba and his wooden club. Squirtle and Blastois come in for some revenge and take out Shipwreck and Slimer with some serious water movement. Duff is able to escape their attacks for now.

Ocean Master and Aqualad join forces and engage in a pitched battle with Namor and The Creature From the Black Lagoon that would make Becks proud. They move through the rough waters with ease and grace. This battle is just beginning, so we will return to it later.

The Phibians surround Jaws, while a battle of mechanical menaces commences about one hundred yards away. Shockwave, Ttanus, and the Protectobots who have merged to form Defensor are squaring off against Agamemnon, Juno, and Sonny from I-Robot. The Queen Alien has no trouble moving about in the water, and her mortal enemies the Predators are doing well too, with their water suits specifically developed for hunting aquatic creatures. Aphrodite, is joined by Squirtle and his evolved form version Blastois as they take on perhaps the toughest combatant of all, the Sando Aqua Monster: who is sporting not only size, strength, and speed; but also home field advantage. The Sando Aqua Monster grabs the Pokemon, one in each fist and is at first repelled by the Mt. Olympus derived powers of Aphrodite's love. The enormous fish, winces in pain at first; but then bites the goddess in half while crushing the life out of Squirtle and Blastois. Fifteen Phibians and 4 Predators die in their battles against Jaws and The Queen Alien; but eventually the shark and the xenomorph are destoryed by sheer numbers. The survivors of the two skirmishes shift their attention to each other and seven more Predators go down before they manage to finish off the remaining five Phibians. Shockwave is the second casualty in the battle of robots, as he blasted apart by Cymek lasguns right after he crushes the artificial life out of Sonny despite his thicker than usual casing. Defensor manages to destory the casing which holds the human brain of Juno before a tactical nuke from Agamemnon extinguishes the spark of the Autobot Gestalt. Agamemnon does not have enough firepower to finish the fight though, as Ttanus puts his metallic dinosaur snout through the center of Agamemnon to expose his ancient human brain and finish him off. The Sando Aqua Monster rushes in dwarfing Ttanus in his weakened state to finish him off, while Tomar Tu rushes in to aid Ocean Master and Aqualad in their battle. Tomar Tu blasts The Creature From The Black Lagoon to pieces, while Namor gets Ocean Master in a headlock eventually snapping the neck of Aquaman's brother. Tomar Tu is then surrounded by the last four Predators (#1,3,7, & 9) and takes out #3 & 7 before he is skewered by the energy harpoons of the remaining two Alien Hunters. Aqualad blind sides Namor with a massive right hook in a rage after seeing his psuedo-uncle killed. Namor goes down hard, and Aqualad swims in fast to finish the job. Predator #9 gets in his way, but Aqualad dispatches him quickly and easily. Aqualad grabs a algae-coated boulder to crush Namor with, but before he can accomplish the task the angered Sando Aqua Monster swoops in and snatches Aqualad out of the water with his powerful jaws. The Sando Aqua Monster swallows Aqualad whole and then swims in an attacking motion towards his own teammate Namor. The massive monster stops his snout directly in the lap of Namor, who pets the top his head saying: “That's a good boy”.........