Monday, March 31, 2008

George Washington's Slaves Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murder Flies

George Washingtons' Slaves are Yoda w/ Kybuck, Shaak Ti, Ki Adi Mundi, Jedi Master #1-15, Wedge Antilles, Admiral Ackbar, Optimus Prime w/ Roller, Cosmos, Fizzle, Sauron, Metroid #19 & 20, Duncan Idaho Ghola #7, Ginaz Swordsmen #1-6, Sonny, Thor, Jimmy Nuetron, Collossus, Arisia, Uncle Buck, Martian Manhunter, Ryan Poteracki, Amy Damico, Al Dizzle, Cave Dump, Ryan Burke, Corbin Dallas, Crash Bandicoot, Marty Mcfly, Jason Bourne, Rocky Balboa, T-1000, Kyle Reese, Santa Claus w/ Rudolf, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, & Blitzen, Frankenstein's Monster, Jack Daniels, Cosmo Kramer, & Bender "Bending" Rodriguez.

Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies are Brock Sampson, Guy Gardner & G'Nort, Howard the Duck, Beatrix Kiddo, Batgirl, Mystery Inc: Fred, Velma, Daphne, Shaggy, & Scooby-Doo w/ Scooby Dumb, The Power Puff Girls: Blossom, Bubbles, & Buttercup, Ron Popeil, Shatterstar, Kyle Ranier, Booster Gold, Mecha Godzilla, Rancor #1, Clone Trooper #26-80, U.S. Marine #1-65, & Ewok #4-6.

Cosmos lands on top of Booster Gold and kills him. Cosmos' hatch opens up and George Washington's Slaves all run out. Shaak Ti and Ki Adi Mundi bring along Crash Bandicoot as they move against Guy Gardner. Gardner crashes Bandicoot with a giant green anvil and then uses his ring to create a green saber as he begins to fence with the 2 blue sabers of Ti & Mundi. Guy Gardner puts up a good defensive posture against the 2 Jedi but is arrogant to think he could beat 2 Jedis at their own game. Ki Adi Mundi and Shaak Ti move in unison as Ki Adi chops off Guy's arm and Shaak Ti finishes him off. Duncan Idaho leads the Ginaz Swordsmen against Brock Sampson and Shatterstar. The extremely skilled fighters activate their shields and overtake their opponents. Sampson manages to kill Swordsmen #2 and Shatterstar takes out #1 & 4 but he is pulled down and stabbed to death by the remaining swordsmen while Brock is killed by Duncan Idaho himself with a slice to the neck. Rocky sits down next to Santa as T-1000 and Sonny throw all the presents out of the back of the sleigh so they can make room to get in. Santa then takes off with all of them and begins flying toward the huge Mecha-Godzilla. Ryan Burke runs over to get the stuff that has "fallen out of the back of the sleigh" when he is stepped on by the mighty Rancor. Yoda, is a Whil on a mission since this is his first week back after he was benched by President Washington do to his dissapointing week 1 death at the hands of Poison Ivy. He jumps on the back of his 2 legged steed Kybuck and leads the 15 Jedi Masters into battle against 55 Clone Troopers and 65 Marines. The Jedi tear through the ranks of the soldiers; they use their lightsabers as not only instuments of destruction but also as a means of defense as they block shots from the guns of the soldiers disintegrating the bullets and deflecting the blaster bolts back. The Marines manage to shoot Masters #1, 3, 6, & 8 as well as killing #11 & 15 with their skills in hand to hand combat. The Clone Troopers only kill Jedi Masters #2, 13, & 14 before every last Marine and Trooper are killed with Yoda hoping that Coach Washington was watching as he himself brought down 12 Marines and 17 Troopers (not including Kybuck's 2 Trooper kills). Wedge Antilles kills Howard the Duck with his resentment as he finds out that they were both created by the same person. The Rancor picks up Roller who was stuck in the snow and throws him at Frankenstein's monster busting its stitches apart and rekilling it, but Optimus Prime pulls out his lazer rifle and begins firing at the Rancor. The Rancor screams in pain but the blaster shots are not strong enough to kill the giant beast. Optimus runs up as if to tackle the Rancor but transforms into truck form in mid-air to add to the hit. Optimus then quickly transforms back into robot form and as Rancor #1 screams while it is attempting to get up, Optimus shoots several shots from his rifle into the Rancor's mouth and kills it. Ryan & Amy are to busy working on wedding plans to help in the fight. Jimmy Nuetron and Bender get back into Cosmos and he takes off. None of them notice that Batgirl has shot her bat-hook into the side of it and is pulling herself and Beatrix Kiddo into the side window. Marty Mcfly on the other hand does notice as he runs toward the vacating flying saucer to warn them of the sneak attack. As he is running he hears somebody say "Jenkies" and all of the sudden gets tied up in a cable. He then slides across the ice on his butt and lands in a snow bank face first. He is pulled out of the snow by a tall dude in a neckerchief who says lets pull off his Micheal J. Fox mask and find out who he really is. Daphne Blake then rips his head off on accident as Shaggy exclaims "Zoinks! Like, I guess it wasn't a mask after all"! Scooby-Doo and his cousin Scooby-Dumb then eat the body and Shaggy says "like, I got the munchies to Scoob but I would rather have a double anchovies pizza" (laugh track comes on). Beatrix Kiddo and Batgirl climb in through Cosmos' window and attack the people inside. Batgirl does a spin kick which knocks Bender over by the window that they just climbed in. She then knocks him out the window and sends him crashing into the icey water below them. The Bride stabs Jimmy Neutron in his oversized head. Batgirl and The Bride then run over to the area where Jimmy Neutron was working and see that he was creating a new kind of bomb to use against their team. They stick the bomb into Cosmos' core and jump out the window before it blows him apart. They are caught by the Power Puff Girls who bring them down to the ground safely. Cosmo Kramer and Uncle Buck are riding around in Fizzle who has transformed into his off road racing vehicle form. G'Nort flies in to attack them but when he lands on the hood of the Midget Outlaw Racer he clumsily misses as he attempts to shoot them with green energy. G'Nort is yanked inside and then somehow beaten to death by Uncle Buck and Kramer. Kramer puts on G'Nort's oddly shaped green lantern ring and then him, Uncle Buck, & Fizzle use it to fly to Hollywood where they pitch a Fantasy Fantasy buddy/situation comedy spin-off starring the 3 of them (I smell an Emmy). Santa flies in toward Mecha-Godzilla and his reindeer gracefully dodge every attack the huge robot makes. They fly in close to M.G. and as they are over top of him T-1000 and Sonny both jump out on top of its head. Sonny uses his dense alloy to break a hole into the back of Mecha-Godzilla's neck and then T-1000 in his liquid metal state oozes into the hole. Mecha-Godzilla manages to knock Sonny off and kill him but the damage is already done. T-1000 gets inside and destroys the core of whatever it is that makes Mecha-Godzilla work. They both die in the huge explosion that occurs but Santa just barely gets far enough away from the blast. The 2 Metroids are already frozen (because it is the Arctic) so Kyle Ranier uses his power ring to create 10 missles and hits each of them with 5. Jack Daniels hands Ewok #5 a shot and Al Dawg passes him a doobie. The reaction that the happy little ewok has is hilarious. Which is why Al Dawg laughs himself to death. Kyle Ranier then lands in front of Sauron and gets ready to do battle but Sauron's homeboy Thor bails him out again as he throws Mjonir at the green lantern and knocks him down by Sauron's feet. The Dark Lord then stomps on his head with his huge metal boots and runs him through with his sword. Ron Popeil has devised a snow mobile that can fly and shoot concentrated energy out of its skies but before he can do anything cool with it, he gets knocked off of it by Jason Bourne. Bourne then jumps back over by Popeil and does a karate chop/ double kick combo before he shoots Ron in the head. He then runs over to Ewok #4 & 6 and snaps both of their little furry necks with a well-placed double drop kick. Adm. Ackbar hopes that nobody notices that he hasn't done anything in this match. George Washington made sure to stress to his people over the last week to not underestimate the Power Puff Girls. Which is why Kyle Reese, Collossus, Arisia, and Martian Manhunter all attack them togeather. The Power Puff girls fly in to meet the challenge. Blossom punches Reese's head right off and Buttercup flies right through the organic metal chest of Collossus. Arisia blasts Bubbles with a burst of green energy which stuns her and Martian Manhunter grabs her out of the air and finishes the job as he pulls her apart. The 2 remaining Power Puff girls then realize that they are surrounded by Arisia, Martian Manhunter, Jason Bourne, Santa Claus, Rocky, & Optimus Prime. Blossom & Buttercup then look over to their right to see The Bride and Batgirl surrounded by Yoda, Shaak Ti, Ki Adi Mundi, and 6 more Jedi Masters. Blossom and Buttercup then fly over as fast as they can and grab Batgirl and Beatrix in an act of retreat as they fly away. Scoob & Shag and the gang all begin to let their legs run in place in a circle for a couple seconds before they retreat. They all escape except for Scooby Dumb who gets shot by Corbin Dallas after he slips on a banana peel. Ewok #5 stumbles home.
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!

2 comments:

Artifact said...

Thats what I'm talking about! I heard Ewok #5 is coming to the BBQ.

Josh the Commish said...

Ewok #5 does have 2 deaths on the season; should we start calling him the ewok so nice they buried him twice?