Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve Vs. TEAM

Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Kid Deadpool, & Charlie Brown.

TEAM is Set & Jace.


For those of us that were sorely disappointed by the fact that Ford Field was to be a dome without a retractable roof; we can now rest easy. Because once Set was placed inside of Ford Field it took only a matter of seconds for the 7 headed serpent to turn it into an open air stadium that is so exposed to the weather that it makes Lambo Field look like a hermetically sealed box. Anakin looks up at the building sized competitor he will be facing in his first ever FFL match and says “I’ve got a bad feeling about this”. He then adds after he looks over at his team for the week “What am I a general or baby-sitter, come on snips lets go, and bring your playmates”. They duck into an alley where Anakin patiently lets the force tell him what there best course of action will be against the behemoth that they are being forced to fight when Ahsoka points out to her master the dorky looking guy buzzing around on a jet pack. “I guess I should go take care of him first” General Skywalker says to his team, but Kid Deadpool says “General, let me take care of him while you guys begin the attack on Set”. “Master we’re going to have to learn to trust our new team, if we are going to be successful” says Ahsoka. “Alright, have it your way Snips. “Hey Kid Deadpool, be careful out there and umm take Chuck with you”. “I won’t let you down sir” Kid Deadpool says as he races off toward an unsuspecting Jace eager to make a name for himself in the FFL. Kid Deadpool puts on his night vision goggles (even though it is broad daylight). He then begins to sneak up on Jace with Charlie Brown following close behind, but Jace sees them coming and valiantly flies in toward his attackers. A very uneventful fight ensues which ends with Kid Deadpool stabbing Jace in the chest. The Pool Boy then turns to Chaz Brown and in true Deadpool form says “Man, and I thought that guy was useless when Space Ghost was around”. Charlie Brown then stares at him blankly and says “Good Grief”. Meanwhile Anakin & Ahsoka are climbing up the rafters of Ford Field trying to find a way to attack Set (excuse me they are simply finding a way to attack Set, Jedi don’t try they do). Anakin leaps right into the center of the giant Serpent and runs straight up one of his 7 extensions. When he reaches the top he sticks his lightsaber underneath the mouth of Set and then slowly pulls the lightsaber thru the thick skin of the beast until he successfully cuts off one of Set’s heads. Set lets out a horrific noise from his remaining 6 heads which shatters every window in Comerica Park and sends chills down the spines of everyone around while Ahsoka regroups with Kid Deadpool and Charlie Brown at the top of Ford Field, where they are going to attempt to follow Anakin’s lead in removing Set’s heads 1 by 1. Despite the creature’s insane flailing from side to side Anakin makes an amazing force leap from Set’s stump to the next nearest head that even many of the most skilled Jedi Masters in the galaxy could not make. Ahsoka and friends are about to make a move onto the nearby head when Set crashes down on the platform they are standing on. Ahsoka not only jumps out of the way but also manages to force push Charlie and Kid Deadpool into safety as well but she loses her lightsaber in the process. As Ahsoka jumps onto the nearby head with ease Charlie Brown picks up the padawan’s lightsaber. Kid Deadpool follows Ahsoka’s lead and barely makes the jumps onto the back of Set’s head. Charlie Brown with his amazing athleticism tries it next but does not even come close to hitting the target. But in a valiant and unselfish move Charlie Brown does throw the lightsaber back to Ahsoka before he plummets to his doom. Ahsoka in an attempt to emulate her master’s move sticks her lightsaber into Set and begins cutting. Kid Deadpool pulls out his katana to help with the process but as the scourge of Atlantis begins flailing Deadpool’s former sidekick is unable to hold on and he is sent flying off into the distance. Anakin has already removed another head and made his way onto a 3rd one when he sees Ahsoka flung from the head she was attacking back onto the platform she was on before. Anakin feels a disturbance in the force which alerts him to the fact that this match is not going as well as he would like but before Set’s damaged head can attack Ahsoka; Anakin rips off the half cut head with a fierce force push. Anakin can see that his padawan is not yet as capable of these ridiculous deeds which is why he yells to her that she needs to get to safety and that if he doesn’t succeed in removing these heads that she needs to retreat. “But master, Jedi never run from a fight” Ahsoka screams back to her master. Anakin replies with “Fine than when you become a Jedi you can practice that, but until then a padawan’s job is to listen to her master”. Anakin realizes that this huge monster is getting wise to his course of action but he can foresee no other way to accomplish his goal. The Jedi Knight then once again sticks his lightsaber into the head he is standing on while he thinks to himself that if he can just kill this head than he is more than half way to his goal of killing all 7 but Set in an act of instinct rather than intelligence lunges his other 3 heads at Anakin ripping apart its own 4th head but swallowing Anakin whole as well. “Nooooooooo” Ahsoka yells; but despite her reluctance she force leaps back down onto the street and like any good padawan obeys her master as she retreats from the fight with Jedi speed.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!

5 comments:

Josh the Commish said...

Ed, just to let you know next time you start Set he will only have 3 heads in less you wish to euthanize him then he will have all 7 heads back the next time you start him. It is your choice.

Ryan said...

Damn fine attempt Matt. Very few other teams could have inflicted that much damage on Set with so few points to work with. If only you could get a shot at Ed with more points to utilize.

I'm coming for you Ed.

MROblak said...

Yes, it was a valiant effort put up.
I have but one question, why if swallowed
whole with his lightsaber did Anakin make
no attempt to cut himself out and acheive
Victory. Other than that, great match Ed
I'll be sure to step my game up for the rematch

Josh the Commish said...

I don't know Mr. Oblak, maybe because he was to busy being dead.

Artifact said...

Maybe he was too busy crying about how he killed Padme.