Monday, April 20, 2009

Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies vs The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets

Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies are The Maxx & Julie Winters, Doc Brown, Lorne Michaels, Speedy Gonzalez, Brak, Dobby, (Brain Damaged) Beowulf, Sarah Palin, The Groovy Gang: Ted, Val, Patty, Sonny, & Groovy, Jay & Silent Bob w/ Suzanne, Forge, Bob: Agent of HYDRA, Agent X, Aunt May, Hellboy, Lobo, Dark Claw, The Technibots, Rancor #1, Ewok #4-40, The Power Puff Girls: Blossom, Bubbles, & Buttercup, The Planeteers, Ted Nugent, Brock Sampson, & Kyle Rayner.

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is Tom Bombadill, Flint Fireforge, Robert Muldoon, Gwildor, Wicket, & Paploo in a Hummer, Ewok #41-46, Haldir, X-23, Omega Supreme, Superboy, Ch'p & Dr, Ub'x, Salaack, Asajj Ventress, Mangy Mouse, Gold Dragon #3, Wonder Man, Rogue, Nazgul #3 w/ Fell Beast, Aurra Singh, Pythona, Ryachu, Gamera, Mas y Menos.

Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderflies are all very excited for this opportunity to unleash their Ewok battalion in their home turf. And Forge has outfitted all of them with special weaponry. All 37 Ewoks scatter into the trees as they ready for battle. They were however, not prepared for the team that The Brotherhood sent out to meet them in this encounter. Asajj Ventress and X-23 rush in and immediately eviscerate the entire Groovy Gang as well as Aunt May and Lorne Michaels. Superboy and Wonder Man then follow them quickly. The two powerhouses fly in each take on two of the Murderflies’ bigger members, Rancor #1 and Brain Damaged Beowulf. Wonder Man blasts BDB with a massive amount of ionic energy and then makes him just plain “Brain Dead Beowulf.” Rancor #1 then chomps down on Superboy, who puts his arms up to pin the giant beast’s jaws open. He then uses his heat vision to blasts a hole through the back of the Rancor’s skull. The Powerpuff Girls spring into action, tired of this initial stomping their team is receiving. They triple team Aurra Sing and blast her away with their combined powers. Ted Nugent likes the three little girls’ style and follow suit by shooting Dr. Ub’x right between the eyes with a flaming arrow. Rogue flies in and drains the life out of The Maxx and goes slightly crazy for it. She then smashes Julie Winters into mush. Hellboy runs up and punches Rogue with the Right Hand of Doom and sends her crashing into a tree. He then turns around and shoots Mas y Menos with the Good Samaritan. The Technibots for Computron and starts knocking down trees. The Autobot gestalt is then faced with a challenge that they are unable to compute a victorious scenario; Omega Supreme. Computron valiantly attacks Omega, but is simply overpowered and all five Technibots are destroyed. Robert Muldoon then takes aim and shoots Suzanne the Orangutan. Jay and Silent Bob freak out at the loss of “their girl” and brutally beat Muldoon to death with branches. The fighters then hear “By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!” The Planeteers have called upon Captain Planet in hopes to turn the tides in this match. He instantly begins to control the plant life surrounding everyone. Flint Fireforge and Gwildor are strangled to death by some tree roots. X-23 cuts her way out of some roots and slices through all of the Planeteers, even Suchi the monkey. (Especially Suchi the monkey.) She then swipes at Brock Samson’s chest but her razor sharp claws barely cut him. He gets angry at her ruining his favorite black shirt and Brock kicks X-23 in the gut. Brock is about to continue beating on X-23, but his attention is drawn to Pythona who swipes at his back. The team leader then wraps Pythona in a bear hug and squeezes until her spine snaps. Haldir dodges Ted Nugent’s flaming arrows and then puts three arrows right into the Motor City Madman’s chest. Sarah Palin, who avenges her fellow NRA member, then shoots the elf in the throat. Salaak and Ch’p then engage Kyle Rayner. They try to double team him, but he pretty much give all the Kyle Rayner-haters the finger by quickly and almost effortlessly blasting both Green Lanterns away. Lobo then gets his hands on Ryachu, who tries to electrocute Lobo, but all it does is singe him a bit and make him smell even worse. Lobo then crushes the Pokemon with his bare hands. Gamera then stomps his way in and blasts several of his plasma fireballs at the Murderflies’ camp and kills Speedy Gonzalez, Bob: Agent of H.Y.D.R.A., and Doc Brown. Dark Claw pops his claws and slices Mangy Mouse in three small pieces as the Mouse flies by. X-23 then sneaks up behind Dark Claw and tackles him to the ground. Dark Claw kicks her away and leaps back to his feet. The two the tear into each other in a bloody and vicious fight. Before long, X-23 stands victorious, but only for a moment, as she collapses to the ground, exhausted and seriously wounded from the fight. She then crawls her way over to a tree and leans up against it, allowing her healing factor to kick in and get to work. Tom Bombadil blasts Dobby with some powerful magic before the house-elf could teleport. He then finishes him off with some more magic. Nazgul #3 swoops in on his Fell Beast and in one pass the Fell Beast snatches Brak in its mouth and eats him. Agent X targets the Fell Beast and brings it down by unloading two full magazines into its neck. The Fell Beast crashes to the ground and Nazgul #3 is thrown from his mount. The Nazgul then stalks and chops the head off of Agent X. Rogue then flies up and attack Captain Planet and drains all of his powers from him, letting the mullet-wearing tree hugger fall to his doom. A big tree trunk then swings right at Asajj Ventress, but she slices through it with her lightsabers. She then does a back flip and lands on the other one that was thrown at her. The Powerpuff Girls then simultaneously attack her, but in a blur of lightsabers, Blossom, Buttercup and Bubbles are all struck down by Ventress. All of a sudden, a Hummer come crashing in, completely out of control and smashes into a tree. Out come Wicket, Paploo and Ewoks #41-46. They instantly all scatter into the trees and attack the Murderflies’ Ewoks. The Brotherhood Ewoks find themselves all ensnared into a net however, since the Murderflies’ Ewoks have been setting up camp this entire battle. All 37 Ewoks come out of the trees and slaughter The Brotherhood’s Ewoks is a completely tasteless fashion. The Forge-enhanced Ewoks all scamper into the battle, but they completely forget about Omega Supreme and Gamera are still in this battle. Omega Supreme squashes Ewoks #4-16 without even noticing it. Gamera blasts his plasma fireballs and kills Ewoks #27-33 as Gold Dragon #3 swoops in and incinerates Ewoks #17-23. The forest now smells like barbequed dog hair. Omega Supreme the uses his sensors to target the tiny furry creatures and blows the rest of them away. “Crap. We really put our whole plan behind those little guys,” says Brock Samson. He then looks at what his badly depleted team is still up against, which is Omega Supreme, Gamera, Tom Bombadil, X-23, Superboy, Wonder Man, Asajj Ventress, Gold Dragon #3, Wonder Man, Rogue, and Nazgul #3. As team captain he feels that it’s best that what’s left of his team retreats and live to fight another day.

THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL MIDGETS IS VICTORIOUS!

3 comments:

Josh the Commish said...

Good Match Mike, it is a shame that the 2 ewok powerhouses had to do battle at all, but since they did I guess it was a fitting setting.

Good Work Ryan!

Artifact said...

Wow. Ewoks go down on Endor.

Archr5 said...

Ewoks go down on a lot of things Arty, just need to feed them the right drinks first.