Monday, May 18, 2009

George Washington's Slaves Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies

The Murderflies are Sandworm #1-6.

The Slaves are Sandworm #15-20


I Dumir, Fremen of the Sietch Lagir will now tell the story that I personally witnessed from atop the rocky outcroppings of the sandy landscape that I call home. The Maker is a territorial beast; ruling miles of Dune’s landscape, is a feat accomplished even by the smaller worms, but I alone was gifted with the opportunity to witness 12 makers compete in battle as if they were mere humans. All creatures of the desert, including us Fremen do not recognize leadership without combat. Here on Dune we value real power as the means to lead, not like the water fat off-worlders that you may find in Arrakeen with their white colored eyes peddling their garbage and selling drops of water to anyone weak enough to require it. They refer to our planet as Arrakis and no nothing of our ways with their gray colored plastic stillsuits, wasting the body’s water into the air as if they can spare such a resource. It could be better utilized by a worthy sietch to grow our boys into strong men for the coming battles. Let them believe that their imperium is ruled by their puppet emperor, for my people know that no man rules over Shai Halud. As I stand on the rocks, I use no thumper to call upon Shai Halud, I was simply sitting studying my Orange Catholic Bible and thinking over the prana bindu exercises taught to me by my sietch’s Reverend mother. I watch as the 12 worms crash into the air simultaneously creating a dust storm that must have been felt by Fremen miles away. The cinnamonny smell of mélange pleases my nostrils as the orange dust fills the sky. Shai Halud was very angry indeed to call these massive beasts into such a holy melee as they use their crysnife lined mouths to attack one another for the honor of ruling the land that they all currently occupy. Even in the initial leap from underneath Dune’s surface to where I could witness the eye defying battle 7 worms (#2, 5, 6, 16, 17, 18, & 20) die leaving their massive bodies strewn across the desert for Guild ships to view from the space above and more importantly for sietchs such as mine to collect enough holy weapons known as crysknives to supply a tribe for generations to come. The worms possess such power that it is just as impressive as Usul’s ability to simply kill men and destroy objects with his voice’s killing words. Even Maud Dib himself with his prescient visions would have been shocked to see this incredible display of infighting transpire. Another Maker attacks a different Maker with its razor sharp teeth but as it does that, the original Maker is attacked as well resulting In the death of 2 more (#15 & 4). But it is the Maker I witnessed next that impressed me the most; for it was this worm that was the biggest worm I have ever witnessed in all my 97 years of life. It contained scales enough to allow entire sietch’s to ride upon its massive back and had a mouth that could fit a dozen sand crawlers along with the carrier. When this worm shot out of the Dunes to reveal its full size and potential I knew that Shai Halud would gift this mighty beast with the rule of the land below me. This gigantic worm leapt into the air with such ferocity that I nearly snapped my own neck just looking to see the mouth. The 2 worms battling below it stood no chance of survival as the other reigned down upon them killing them both (#3 & 19). After this life altering battle I quickly grabbed my Maker hooks out of my fremkit and swung myself on top of the truly mighty version of Shai Halud and road the sole survivor back to my sietch to tell the unbelievable tale that you were just privileged enough to hear.
BROCK SAMPSONS FIGHTING MURDERFLIES ARE VICTORIOUS!

5 comments:

Artifact said...

For just 12 sandworms fighting each other, it was a much more interesting match than I expected. It was kinda hard for my brain to process all those big words and fancy jargon but this has been a tough week for the leaders in the NL.

Good work Murderflies. A tough and valient battle.

-Z

P.S. George has something to say. he's going to use my computer now.

George Washington said...

Good Day fine sirs,

In my two years as headmaster of this elite squad of valiant fighters, n'er I tasted 3 losses in the regular season. 'Tis a pitiful performance from thy Slaves. Do not expect me to bear thy shame lightly gentlemen. For come next harvest, thy whip shall be unraveled and thy blade unsheathed; As I shall not stand for such a dismal show! Thy fighters will become more elegant and more perfect than my good Martha's heaving bosom as she gazes out at the shirtless "workers" in thy fields working under the hot Virginia sun.

Thank ye-
GW

Lickolas said...

Amazing match Josh! I was surprised that I was able to understand the match so well, you have taught me well friend.

Nice victory Mike, you have the skills in the desert.

Barack and I feel as you do Mr. Washington, this has been a rough end to our seasons. Hopefully our teams are up for the challenge next week and can keep our spots at the top of our divisions.

Solobeck said...

We know the true story of the match was Josh flipped a frickin' coin!

Lickolas said...

I thought that is how all of the matches were decided.