Setting: The Scorched Planet Wallach IX
Points: 701
Prize: A Red Lantern Ring
-The Right Wing Vs. Better Than All of You
-(Former) Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & (Poll-dwindling)President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos VS. Hayley's Comets
-The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. George Washington's Slaves
-Le' Naploleon Brigade Vs. P.M.S.
-Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. The Syracuse Valley
-Xavier's Annihilation Squad Vs. The Transfoamers
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Team S.P.
-TEAM Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches
-Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
-The Untouchables Vs. The Abomitrons
-Bruce's Bodacious Bullies Vs. Logical Genocide
-Oblivio Vs. Built Ford Tough
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Breaking news in the FFL. Logical Genocide owner Chris Seeney has finally snapped. Seeney was arrested last night at the home of Built (Bill) Ford Tough player and recipient of the winning Green Lantern ring Harrison Ford. Mr Seeney and his accomplice, known felon and alleged meta-criminal kingpin Parker Robbins a.k.a. "The Hood" are facing a multitude of charges including assault, breaking and entering, criminal trespass and larceny. More humiliation for the only win less GM in the entire league.
Law enforcement were alerted to the crime scene by reports of a "strange green light" and "loud ruckus". Allegedly, Robbins by passed the security at Ford's estate, opening the gate for Seeney. The duo ambushed Mr Ford as he slept, attempting to remove my Ford's Green Lantern ring by threatening him. Ford was allegedly awoken to Robbins materializing out of thin air, and pointing two Glocks in the beloved actors face when Seeny told him "I'll make this simple for you. You give me MY RING, and we'll be on our way. Don't make this more difficult than it needs to be." Ford reacted instantly blasting Robbins with a green energy shot while kicking Seeney in the gut.
The scuffle went on for a few minutes, Ford weathered a vicious assault from The Hood, while Seeney, unsuccessfully battered Mr Ford with a variety of objects. The Metahuman Task Force showed up a few mintues later to find The Hood trapped inside a green plasma bubble, and Seeney rendered unconscious.
As he was being led out to squad cars, Seeney was heard screaming "F*#$% YOU HARRISON FORD!!!! You f*$%#&ng SUCK!!! That last Indiana Jones movie was a bunch of HoRSE$#@&%. You don't deserve that RING!!! IT'S MINNNNEEEE!!!!! THIS IS ALL A CONSPIRACY TO HOLD ME DOWN!!!!". The Hood could not be reached for comment.
As of this writing, both are still in custody awaiting trial. Bail has been set at an astounding $75,000. It's unclear if Mr Ford will press charges, or if Seeney will be facing disciplinary actions from the FFL commissioner Josh Houslander but this is a new low point in a fairly dismal opening season for Logical Genocide.
Ron Burgundy, reporting.
Thanks Ron. No additional action will be taken against Mr. Seeney. He has gone thru enough, and plus the precedent for team leaders acting like total A-holes was set long ago (I'm looking at you Tyrone & Pablo of The Backyardigans). The league will of course suggest rehab for the troubled Mr. Seeney & Hood, but then again who wouldn't need rehab after losing to Built Ford Tough? Good luck to Logical Genocide for the remainder of the season.
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