Season Three: Week Six: Le' Napoleon Brigade vs. The Right Wing

Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Right Wing

“You know women, mate. Like monkeys, they are - won't let go of one branch until they've got hold of the next.” -Sean Ambrose

The Brigade is Golden Age Wonder Woman in her Invisible Jet, Jetfire & Jetstorm, Red Lantern #3, Metallo, (Kingdom Come) Flash, Obi Wan Kenobi, Wonder Woman, Skyfire, Alan Scott, Jedi Knight #23A-@6A, Silver Dragon #4-15, The Jetsons: George, Jane, Judy, Elroy, Astro, Rosey, & Orbitty, Jaws, Jaws 2, Glinda the Good Witch, Guy Gardner (w/ Yellow Power Ring), Power Girl, Red Devil, Black Hand, Stass Allie, Jania Solo, Aquagirl, Grape Ape, Jack the Giant Killer, Spider Girl, Nightstar, Emperor Palpatine, Man at Arms & Teela, Aragorn, Velociraptor #31-42, John McClane (w/ 2 green light sabers), Poison Ivy, Morpheus, Kwisatz Haderach Duncan Idaho Ghola #12, Army Soldier #101-124, Catwoman, Evil Lynn, Karg, Skeletor's Crack Troops #1-15, Marcellus Wallace, Arwen Evenstar, Penguin, The Lochness Monster, Storm Trooper #51-87, Vito Corleone, Santino Corleone (w/ a red light saber), Horse #27-32, Atreides Soldier #1-6, Even Piel, Maverick & Goose in a Stealth Bomber, The Sando Aqua Monster, Darth Nihilus, Modulock, Baron Fel in a Tie Bomber, Atrocitus, & Chriselon.

The Right Wing is Superwoman, Silver Surfer, Zeus, Red She-Hulk, The Volturi: Aro (w/ a red light saber), Caius, & Marcus, Lady Volturi, Prometheus, Jool Nooret, Blue Lantern #2, The Quilete Tribe: Sam, Paul, Jared, & Quil, Sleepwalker, The Cosmic Hulk Robot, Victoria (w/ a red light saber), Lyra the She Hulk (w/ a green light saber), Blackfire, Jedi Knight #1A (that's Gary), 2A-5A, Jedi Master #18A-23A, Athena, Agent #1 & 2, Droid Fighter Ship #2-20, Slimer, Eros, Gold Dragon #10-12, 14, & 15, Qunilon Vos, Warpath, Red Sonja, The Pantheon: Agamemnon, Achilles, Ajax, Andromeda, Atalanta, Cassiopeia, Delphi, Hector, Jason, Paris, Perseus, Prometheus, Ulysses I, & Ulysses II, Darth Malack, Shintor Beerus, Red Tornado, Black Panther, Skarr son of Hulk (w/ a green light saber), Elephant #1-10, Titanium Man, Bulkhead, Pegasus, Korg, Ninja #1-15, Sand, Mossman, Drusilla, Doc Samson, Army Soldier #131-136, & Ulysses S. Grant (w/ Mandlorian Armor).



Air, ground, space, water, you get the picture. The playoff planet is a brutal place that can stretch any team to its limit. Strength and power can only get you so far, for on this planet, depth is the name of the game. The two teams in front of me are incredibly even. Both have power and strength to match each other, so seeing a victor come out of this one will truly be a sight to see. As the planet is vast, I will bring you one terrain at a time. It looks like both teams are covering every terrain evenly, which means we may be in for a long one.

I will try for the cliff notes version of this story, but as usual, I make no promises.

The Battle on the Ground

This seems to be where the brunt of the team’s armies are located, so I would imagine this is where the majority of the action will take place. I hear the sound of a group of horse’s coming up the way. It looks like there are six people on horseback coming up; a couple of the people riding even have light sabers. It looks kind of awesome actually. It looks like it is John McClane, Aragorn, Marcellus Wallace, Arwen, Vito Corleone and Santino Corleone. McClane and Santino have light sabers, in fact, McClane has two of them. They are quickly met up by The Volturi and the Cosmic Hulk Robot.

John McClane is able to cut the head off of Caius, but is easily over powered by the Hulk robot. The robotic Hulk then crushes both Corleone’s, ending their lives immediately. Arwen then rides up behind Marcus and places her sword in the back of his neck. Aro sees this and decides him and his lady shall seek vengeance for this transgression. The Lady quickly jumps on Arwen’s horse and feeds the elfish woman thoughts of her own happiness, which takes her mind away from the match just long enough for Aro to plunge his light saber into her chest as she passes him by. As Arwen’s now dead body laid waste on the battlefield, Aragorn rides over to it to see if his true love is once and for all dead. As soon as he sees this he completely loses all sense of decency and goes on a killing rampage that leaves the remaining members of the Volturi tribe not so much sparkly, but just plain dead. The still bloodthirsty Aragorn immediately set his sites on the Hulk Robot, but before his stupidity got the best of him, Chriselon jumped in and took care of the robot for him. Chriselon, in all his disco ball glory, encased the robotic menace in an energy ball and collapsed it on itself. Killing the robot once and for all. Aragorn then looked over at the coked out disco queen and said, “Nice kill, but I could have handled that myself”. The flamboyant Green Lantern took little notice of his comment and went off to fight another battle. Aragorn then got back on his horse and told Marcellus Wallace to follow him back to the main battle.

The main battle on the ground consisted of Obi-Wan Kenobi, Alan Scott and Power Girl going up against Warpath, Red Tornado and Shintor Beerus. I am not quite sure how long this battle is going to take, so I will go to someone else right now. Oh look, the Red She-Hulk just crushed Morpheus’s head. I’m guessing that he is probably dead. Looks like Jool Nooret just beat the life out of Glinda the Good Witch and The Brigade’s Jedi Knight’s are facing off against The Right Wing’s Jedi Knight’s and Master’s. Jedi Master #18A just killed Jedi Knight #24A. Oh I’ll just wait until there done fighting to report this one.

Oh this fight was fair. Man at Arms and Teela just got embarrassed by Red She-Hulk and The Quilete Tribe of Sam, Paul, Jared and Quil. By embarrassed I naturally mean slaughtered, but I think you get the picture. Oh look, it’s Great Ape. I think all of the Right Wing’s hulk members are going after the big lug. The big ape is ready for them though, as he takes a battle stance and charges right for them. On his way over to fight the hulk’s, Grape Ape managed to step on and kill Agent’s #1 & 2. When the giant ape finally met up with the hulk’s the battle lasted some time. Though he was able to kill Lyra the She-Hulk, Red She-Hulk and the Hulk’s son eventually took down Grape Ape. Skarr, the son of Hulk, finished the great ape off with a light saber strike to the heart.

Darth Malack and Darth Nihilus were locked in battle at this time as well and it looks like Eros has made Jack the Giant Killer fall in love with Spider Girl, who looks rather annoyed at the love struck Cornish man. This part of the match is boring me right now, so I am going to check out what else is going on in the match.

Air Battle

It looks like this is well under way as Zeus is having a blast (Get it), knocking people out of the sky with lightening bolts. He has already managed to kill Jetfire and Skyfire and has badly damaged the Jetson’s flying car. Metallo is locked in a brutal battle with Titanium Man and Bulkhead is having one hell of a time trying to kill all of the Silver Dragon’s. He has killed Silver Dragon’s #8-11 already, but is having a hard time finishing them off. Luckily for him he has plenty of Gold Dragon’s on his side, so he has some help. Both team’s Dragon’s are lighting up the sky; spraying dude ji…ah I mean, fire everywhere. In the end only Gold Dragon’s #14 and 15 are left flying. Silver Dragon’s final deaths looked like they came from Gold Dragon #10, who went out in a literal blaze of glory to kill them. Bulkhead narrowly escaped the Dragon war, but was killed moment’s later when he was caught in the middle of the Lantern fight that was going on between Red Lantern #3 and Blue Lantern #2. I’ll credit the Red Lantern with Bulkhead’s death, along with the death of the Blue Lantern as well.

The fight between Metallo and Titanium Man was a doozy as well and were it not for the fact that Pegasus joined in on the fight, the battle may have lasted forever. Luckily for me though, I got to see Pegasus jam his spear right through the face of the metallic abomination, ending his role in this battle. This part looks like it is coming down to its last couple of people, but before it finishes off completely; I am going to check out a couple other places.

Water

Hmm, it looks like it is all Brigade members and no Right Wingers. I suppose the Brigade thought her opponent might start some of her water characters this week, I guess not. Brigade wins this round?

Desert

Army Soldiers #101-124 go up against Army Soldiers #131-136 and Ninja’s #1-15. The battle is just okay, not really anything worth watching. In the end Ninja’s #5, 8 and 15 are still standing. Ulysses S. Grant along with Athena lead a charge with Elephant’s #1-10, Korg, Red Sonja and the remaining Ninja’s against Skeletor’s Crack Troopers #1-15, Evil Lynn, Karg and the Atreides Soldiers #1-6. Grant was able to kill Evil Lynn and Karg pretty easily with his sweet armor and weapon’s but was overwhelmed and defeated after meeting up with several Atreides Soldiers at once. Red Sonja found the Crack Troopers to be easy targets as well, killing several of them in a very short period of time. The remaining ninja’s took care of the rest of the Crack Troopers but were then killed off by the Atreides Soldiers. Though the Atreides soldiers were able to fight admirably during this match, they were just too tired and wiped out to take on the remaining members of the Right Wing and were eventually laid to rest by Red Sonja and Korg.

It looked like this part of the match was easily going to go to the Right Wing, but before they were able to begin heading back to aid the rest of their team, they were faced with an opponent that they would find impossible to defeat. The Kwisatz Haderach Duncan Idaho Ghola #12 may have looked like a man, but what he did to the remaining Right Wing members was far more than any mere mortal could ever dream of. Red Sonja tried to attack Idaho, but was instantly thrown back into the desert sand. Before she was able to get back up, Idaho was standing over her, crushing in her skull. As Korg and Athena were watching their teammate being killed, they too were faced with the “one who can be in many places at once” and were too killed by the near perfect creature. Idaho then exterminated the remaining Elephant’s and headed off to aid his team elsewhere. Though as he was leaving, Sand from the Right Wing formed behind Duncan Idaho and displaced the sand below him, dropping him far beneath the surface of the desert. Though things looked good for Sand, this Duncan Idaho wasn’t going to go down so easily. I’ll check back to see the finished product.

Arctic

Can you say blow out. Though Even Piel of the Brigade was able to kill Slimer, that was pretty much it on this front. Delphi and Hector were both suffering from blaster wounds to the stomach, but that was about it. Even Piel lead Storm Troopers #51-87 against the entire Pantheon and trust me when I say they did not live to tell the tale. I knew it was going to be a blow out when the first person that was killed on the Brigade was Even Piel. He went right in for the kill on Agamemnon, but had his neck snapped by the teenage god. From that point on it was a massacre that ended in the deaths of all 37 Storm Troopers. Delphi and Hectors wounds would heal quickly, fast enough for them to join the rest of their teammates for the final battle.

Space

Now for the battle you were all waiting for. Normally the Silver Surfer would look at any space battle and think to himself “No Problem”, but this one wasn’t going to be so easy. He didn’t usually face opponent’s quite as good as the ones that he was going to have to face right now. As a pre-emptive strike, he sent out Droid Fighter ships #2-20. He was hoping they would be able to take out at least one of his opponent’s, to which they did. Droid Fighter’s #2-6 were able to kill Modulok as he attempted to disguise himself as another Droid Fighter ship. The Surfer was able to convince the Droid ships to attack the shape shifting being, ending in it’s destruction. Though Droid Fighter’s #2-6 were able to over power Modulok, they were no match for Baron Fel in his Tie Bomber. The same could also be said for Droid Fighter’s #11, 12, 14, 16 and 20 as the expert pilot too sent them to robot hell. The Surfer knew his Droid ships were not going to be able to do any more damage so he sent them all towards the Bomber in the hope that they could at least destroy him. Though it was a valiant effort by the droid ships, Baron Fel was ultimately able to defeat every last one of them. Before Fel was able to celebrate though, Superwoman tore open the hull of the Tie Bomber, exposing Fel to the vacuum of space, killing him in about one minute’s time.

This left the Surfer and Superwoman with Wonder Woman, Guy Gardner, Black Hand and Atrocitus to battle. Superwoman instantly charged her Amazonian sister Wonder Woman and began to battle with her as the Surfer flew around Black Hand, and blasted him in the back. Atrocitus answered back with a blast of red energy but the Surfer was easily able to absorb the energy and send it back ten fold at the Red Lantern leader. The blast sent the red lantern holder back and knocked him unconscious. While Silver Surfer was doing this, Guy Gardner was able to encase the Surfer in a yellow energy field for a moment. A moment was all it lasted though as the Surfer quickly broke out of it and in the process, literally flying through the body of the now dead yellow lantern holder. Wonder Woman was finding her fight with Superwoman to be more difficult than she thought it would be, as Superwoman was causing her great pain. Superwoman was even able to blast Wonder Woman with her heat vision and trap her in her lasso. For most people this would be the end of the line, but Wonder Woman was not most people. Just as Superwoman was planning on finishing Wonder Woman off, Wonder Woman broke free of her lasso and broke both of her arms backwards. As the pain rushed through the body of Superwoman, Wonder Woman tied her up in her lasso and instead of making her talk, she decided to just end it once and for all. She grabbed Superwoman on the top and bottom of her mouth and literally ripped her head in two.

As this was going on Atrocitus was just getting back to the match and the Silver Surfer had just finished throwing Black Hand into the nearest star. Wonder Woman, though very powerful, knew that she was no match for the Surfer in space. She then signaled to Atrocitus to head for the surface of the planet below, as their best chance for a victory lied on the planet’s surface. The Surfer noticed this move and quickly stopped the red lantern from going any further, killing him once and for all. Though she knew losing Atrocitus was a huge blow, she knew her death would be an even greater failing to her team as she flew as fast as she could towards the planet’s surface. The Silver Surfer followed closely behind her as the two super powered beings broke through the planet’s atmosphere onto the final battle of this match.

The Ground Battle

A lot has happened since the last time we checked in on this. First thing’s first though. Only Jedi Master’s #21A & 23A are left standing. Darth Malack was able to defeat Darth Nihilus and Prometheus beat the living hell out of Marcellus Wallace. Shintor Beerus tried to use a force tornado against Obi-Wan, which made Obi-Wan laugh a bit, but not much else. Then Obi-Wan used his light saber to cut his body in half. After Shintor Beerus’s pathetic force tornado attempt, Red Tornado decided to make a storm of his own, only this storm actually did something. The storm took out Velociraptor’s #38-42 and badly injured Obi-Wan. Just as Red Tornado was planning on doing even more damage to the badly hurt Brigade, Emperor Palpatine ended his silence in this match and sent a lethal amount of force lightening into the body of Red Tornado, killing him. Then Poison Ivy sent a brutal attack from the ground up as the earth itself began to attack every member of the Right Wing. Drusilla was unable to escape this attack as she was staked through the heart with a piece of wood from a now uprooted tree. The light saber holding members of the Right Wing were able to cut through much of the new foliage that was quickly overtaking everything, but it was Moss Man who was able to temporarily put a stop to Poison Ivy’s new world. Skarr, Victoria and the two remaining Jedi Master’s freed everyone as quickly as they could but Moss Man was unsure of how long he could hold off Poison Ivy’s power. They would try to break free of all of this but they knew that they were going to need the help of their teammates if they were going to make it out of this one alive.

The Air Battle

Maverick and Goose managed to kill the two remaining Gold Dragons (#14 & 15) but were blown to pieces by one of Zeus’s lightening bolts. Blackfire was also able to kill the Jetson’s, though she was blasted by Nightstar as she put the finishing touches on the Jetson’s. Luckily for her though, Titanium Man had her back and destroyed Nightstar right after that.

Golden Age Wonder Woman had her sight’s set on Pegasus as she flew in her invisible jet ready to fire on him. Right before she was able to fire on him though, her jet was struck by another one of Zeus’s lightening bolts, which blew her jet to pieces. Though she was able to eject from her ship, she was now free falling to the ground. As she began falling to her almost certain death, she saw someone familiar coming towards her ready to catch her. It was herself, well, it was the more super powered version of herself to be more exact. She yelled at Red Lantern #3 to follow her towards the ground, as that was there best place for attack at this time. The Red Lantern followed suit as both Wonder Woman’s and the Red Lantern headed towards the ground battle.

Desert

Well, I thought that Sand’s trick of holding the Duncan Idaho Ghola under the sand was going to cause much more damage then it did, but I suppose I was wrong. Though Sand had a good idea of separating his body over Idaho to try to keep him under ground forever, it turns out that is exactly what ended up killing him. As soon as Sand turned his own body into nothing but sand, Idaho managed to permanently keep him in that state, forever turning Sand into an indistinguishable part of the desert.



The Ground Battle

The Pantheon was making its way onto the battlefield when it saw the new foliage that Poison Ivy had created. They knew that they had to come at the Brigade from behind, as getting through Ivy’s new world was never going to work.

The Air Battle

The remaining Right Winger’s in the air were not sure what to do at first but before they could make any sort of decision, the Silver Surfer came flying down and told them that the final battle was taking place wherever Wonder Woman was. This obviously meant on the ground, so that is exactly where they were heading. Blackfire, Pegasus and Titanium Man were to follow the Surfer down to the ground but according to the Surfer, Zeus was to stay up above. Zeus did not like taking orders but he was no fool. He knew that dome headed one was the most powerful member of their team and obeyed his order to stay above.

The Ground Battle

Poison Ivy’s new foliage was a great trap for her opponent’s but it did hurt their team in one way, Alan Scott was now useless in this fight. She knew this would be a side effect, but she figured it was an expectable loss.

The Pantheon was now on the other side of the battlefield, now coming up behind the Brigade. They were moving as fast as they could when they saw Wonder Woman fly down from the sky with the Red Lantern. This didn’t stop their movement, but it did make them re-think their strategy on how they were going to attack.

As Wonder Woman landed near her teammates on the ground, she told them that the Silver Surfer was not far behind. If they were going to have any chance against him, they were going to have to end this battle on the ground as quickly as possible. Wonder Woman quickly lead the charge with Power Girl, the Red Lantern and Chriselon against the still trapped Right Wing members. They all flew up above and one by one started to pick off their enemies. Power Girl was able to kill Doc Sampson and Victoria and the Red Lantern was able to trap The Quilete Tribe of Sam, Paul, Jared and Quil along with Jool Nooret. The Red Lantern created an oxygen-free energy field around the Right Wing members, killing them very quickly. Wonder Woman landed in the foliage and killed Prometheus and Eros with little effort. Chriselon was able to hit Skarr with a deadly energy blast but was overpowered by Warpath as he passed him by.

The Pantheon had finally reached the Brigade and as soon as they got there, they were met by a group of Velociraptor’s. #31-37 attacked them and though there were able to get a few vicious attacks in, they were all dead in a matter of minutes by the so far still intact Pantheon. They then continued to move on but not before Cassiopeia was hit was a blast of force lightening from the Emperor. The blast killed her and now the real battle was about to begin.

The still love sick Jack the Giant Killer and Spider Girl were brutally beaten to death by Ajax, Andromeda and Jason, while Aragon managed to cut the head off of Delphi. The still injured Obi-Wan was finally put out of his misery by Agamemnon, but the Pantheon leader was met with the same fate as Alan Scott sent a blast of energy through his body, destroying him in one quick blast. Though Aragorn fought a great battle, his fight against the two Ulysses’ was just too much as they both managed to over power him. The Emperor, Stass Allie and Jania Solo were all with light saber in hand now, kickin butt and taking names. In their triple sword threat, they were able to kill Achilles, Ajax, Hector, Jason and Paris. At the same time though, Atalanta finally killed Poison Ivy and Perseus had killed Catwoman.

The remaining members of both teams were still very powerful and though the battle had been raging on for a long time, there was too many people left to call it even close to being over with as of yet.

Power Girl had managed to kill both Moss Man and Black Panther in her foliage hunts, but as the foliage died down she realized it was going to get a little bit more difficult to kill without anyone fighting back. Wonder Woman, Power Girl and the Red Lantern decided to head back towards the rest of their team when they saw the Surfer and the remaining sky bound members of the Right Wing coming right for them.

Power Girl went right for Blackfire and was actually able to some how catch her off guard and knock her right out of the sky. The Red Lantern then hit her with a blast of energy and Power Girl finished her off by breaking her back. The Surfer seemed unfazed by Power Girl and the Red Lantern and immediately went for Wonder Woman. Pegasus tried to attack Power Girl but was easily destroyed by the super powered girl.

As the Silver Surfer charged towards Wonder Woman, she bashed her bracelets together and sent a shock wave towards the Silver headed one. The wave blasted him back and actually kind of hurt him. He could tell that the Red Lantern was coming towards him from behind, but instead of evading the blast from the lantern, he decided to take it instead. The blast hit him from behind but instead of hurting him, the Surfer absorbed the energy and sent it towards Wonder Woman, severely injuring her. The Surfer then turned around and once and for all destroyed the Red Lantern holder with a blast of the Power Cosmic.

At this time, Titanium Man had engaged in a fierce battle with Power Girl. It was a battle that alone he might not win, but with a little help from the Surfer, they were able to rip Power Girl in half with a sickening amount of energy from the two of them.

With Poison Ivy now dead, the remaining ground based members of the Right Wing were able to move again towards their Brigade enemies. The following fight went on for a while but it is just plain easier to explain the outcome. Red She-Hulk was able to kill Red Devil, but soon afterwards was blasted to pieces by Alan Scott. The same went for Black Panther and Jedi Master #21A. Emperor Palpatine was able to kill Jedi Master #23A and Darth Malack. On the flip side, Andromeda and Atalanta managed to kill Stass Allie and Prometheus was able to kill Jania Solo. Alan Scott was about to send an energy blast powerful enough and big enough to kill the rest of the Pantheon when out of nowhere, Sleepwalker manipulated the foliage that Poison Ivy had created to all but consume the power of the Starheart. Golden Age Wonder Woman tried to untangle Scott but the double team of Quinlon Vos and Warpath were just two much for her. Palpatine raced towards the wood covered Alan Scott and as he saw Quinlon Vos ready to plunge his light saber into the face of the Green Lantern. Palpatine sent a blast of force lightening towards Vos. Before it was able to reach him, the blast was intercepted by Warpath, who took the blast for his teammate. Warpath taking the blast allowed Quinlon Vos to plunge his light saber into the face of Alan Scott, killing him.

The blast of force lightening crippled Warpath for a moment, but it was only a moment that the Emperor needed as he also sent his light saber into the body of his opponent, ending the life of Warpath. The Emperor was now surrounded by the remaining members of the Pantheon, Quinlon Vos and Sleepwalker, who were all ready to destroy him. The Emperor managed to throw his light saber into the throat of Quinlon Vos, killing him. Though he was able to produce more force lightening, the remaining members of the Pantheon were just too much for him and he was finally destroyed.

Just as the Emperor took his last breathe, Wonder Woman came crashing down to the ground. Soon after her though, so did Duncan Idaho, only he was still able to fight. Before any member of the Right Wing was able to even move, they were being picked off one by one. Idaho killed Prometheus and Atalanta. Then he killed Perseus and Ulysses 1. Then Titanium Man came into the picture and blasted the Kwisatz Haderach back for a second. It wasn’t long, but it was enough time for the Silver Surfer to grab Idaho and fly him up into the sky.

Wonder Woman was still unconscious when Andromeda and Ulysses II began to brutally beat her. With the help of Sleep Walker the two remaining Pantheon members were able to beat on Wonder Woman until her body could no longer take it. Though Wonder Woman was dead, it took them a while before they realized they were just beating a dead body into the ground.

The Silver Surfer was powerful, but even he was having a hard time containing the power of Duncan Idaho. He continued to carry the Ghola up into the sky and before Zeus could even tell what was going on he saw the Surfer holding Idaho’s body on a collision course with the Flash. To the naked eye, the flash was invisible. To the Surfer though, he could see him just fine. As he finally launched Idaho towards the Flash, he knew that the powerful Dune character would try to unleash his full power on the planet, attempting to fold space and time together as the ultimate power move.

Just as the Surfer predicted, he did this and in conjunction with the collision with the Flash, sent a shock wave throughout the entire planet, destroying it along with everything inside of it.
As the Surfer and Zeus sat there floating in space staring into the nothingness that once contained a planet, they didn’t say a word. Usually the Surfer would feel bad about sacrificing his own teammates for the greater good, but this time the greater good was all that mattered. They enjoyed the silence as they were in still in awe of the fact that the match was finally over.

Le’ Napoleon Brigade: All Dead

The Right Wing: Zeus and the Silver Surfer survived.

The Right Wing is Victorious!!!