The Backyardigans Vs. The Commandos

Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches are The Black Widow Shark, & Sharkticon #7 & 8.

Former Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & "Lets see how the republicans try and blame me for the earthquakes" President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos are (earth 2) Superman, Gungan #1-4, Black Lantern Doozer #1, Doozer #13, Swimmell, & Lady Gaga.


Before this match took place President (Coach) Obama pulled his team's number one draft pick of the season into his office to have a brief discussion. President Obama told Superman about his/their team's rich history in The FFL and that although they lost a lot last year in their run to The Universe Bowl; that he had no intention of them not staying a "top flight" team. Barack then went on to explain that if this was going to happen then The Commandos were going to have to rely on him quite a bit, at least during this transitional year. Kal L went on to explain that this was all very new to him; and that this wasn't exactly the best setting to get his very first FFL start in. Barack told him that "he understands, and he still had faith in him"... We shall see...
The Black Widow Shark turns to his squad and says: "Grrrrrr-glurg-glurg-glurg". After all, he is a black widow spider mixed with a shark, and it is talking to a couple of mechanical sharks. Not even Woody Allen could do something with that dialogue. The Commandos travel through the green tube which leads them in to so many-a-gamers least favorite level in the original Super Mario Bros. (personally I always kind of liked it). As they are in the tube, Gungan #2 looks at Swimmell and randomly says: “Damn cousin, this is one f*&^%#d up test tube”. For some reason Swimmell takes offense to this remark and says in retort: “Oh yeah, well maybe I don’t have a test tube... Me and my dad share yours”! “Oh Snap” says Doozer #13... The Commandos begin swimming, all with different levels of success. Superman is strong enough to keep a good pace and has the ability to hold his breath much longer than a human. Same with the gungans who swim so well that they might as well be wearing penguin suits, which is nothing compared to Swimmell who might as well be wearing a frog suit. Doozer #1 is protected by his black lantern ring, but Doozer #13 is not so lucky, and almost instantly drowns. Lady Gaga doesn’t need to worry about anybody seeing her poker face, because she is completely encased in a air tight egg to protect her from the elements. Originally Lady Gaga had instructed the four gungans to carry her once the match had started, but once Superman and Swimmell caught word of this, they told the gungans how stupid that idea was and that they had a match to win. Lady Gaga actually doesn’t even realize that the match has started, or that her egg just simply sunk down to the bottom of the 8-bit coral reef. The pop-singer is more than content hanging out in her egg, and contemplating how she can dupe the world into further believing that she is actually talented. New hair perhaps... “S&*t, it worked for Bieber” Lady Gaga says to the inside of her shell. It is at this moment that her shell is attacked by Cheap Cheaps. This has very little to do with the actual match, there is just something intriguing to me about Cheap Cheaps pecking Ga Ga. It sounds like baby talk from Tartarus. Superman begins heading towards The Black Widow Shark, while Swimmell leads the gungans towards the two Sharkticons. Swimmell turns to Gungan #3 and says...:... Nothing, he says absolutely nothing, they are all holding their breath underwater; so there will be no dialogue. Which means this match will be over with shortly (in fact it should be already). Black Lantern Doozer #1 shoots a blast of black energy towards Sharkticon #8, but it just bounces off of its metal body. In fact it takes significantly longer to say Black Lantern Doozer #1 than it did for Sharkticon #8 to swallow Black Lantern Doozer #1. Superman is taking a beating against The Black Widow Shark, but is still hanging in there. The setting definitely is benefiting the defender of The River of Despair, but Superman is just simply to powerful to be taken down that easily by anyone or anything in a one on one fight. Swimmell and the gungans are a little mismatched as well. The two sharkticons easily take out one gungan each at the start of the skirmish (#2 & 3). The other two gungans than converge on Sharkticon #8 and begin stabbing him with their water-proofed electro-staffs. Swimmell grabs a long piece of broken brick and mortar to use as a weapon but Sharkticon #8 swallows the fish/Trammell/Cheveldae clone whole. Once inside the mouth of the sharkticon, Swimmell sees a spot near the spark that is damaged from the gungan attacks. Swimmell does not realize that the two sharkticons have already taken out the last two gungans; but he does realize that his own last act was to homerun swing his brick “bat” to totally blow up Sharkticon #8 with him inside it. Superman has taken an absolute pounding and has been in and out of the mouth of The Black Widow Shark during the course of this fight. But the gray-templed Man of Steel manages to shake himself loose one last time, and moves himself into position behind The Thundercat Villain. Superman grabs a hold of The Black Widow Shark and with every bit of might he can muster “warps” The Black Widow Shark straight out of the water (I think he finally landed somewhere in 5-3). The exhausted Superman slumps down for a second and begins gasping for air when Sharkticon #7 latches his enormous metal jaws around the neck of Superman. I guess a water victory could have been to much to ask of the new Superman in his first appearance, or perhaps it was just the right place and the right time for lucky (Sharkticon) #7.
BECKERMAN’S BACKYARDIGANS: BEEYATCHES ARE VICTORIOUS!!