Sunday, March 13, 2011

Week2: Griffins High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers vs The Syracuse Valley

Griffins High Maintenance Mouthfuls are: The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Opee Sea Killer #9 and #10, Blitzkrieg Bat (w/ Blue Lightsaber), and Black Lantern Al Dogg.

The Syracuse Valley is: Godzuky, Venus Demilo, Movie Soundwave, Movie Laserbeak, Black Lantern Squawk Talk, Black Lantern Beast Box, Zombie Overkill, Movie Ravage, Spybug (the Decepticon)Wheelie, and Decepticon #1


The Battle Begins with a familiar tune:

The Robots have all sunk to the bottom and are unable to swim upwards their engines rendered useless by the water. The Black Lanterns find this particularly frustrating (especially since they're somehow black ring powered zombie robots... how does that even work?!) and begin hurling insults on their opponents.

"Everything you ever loved is temporary" shouts beast box. "You're all gonna die down here!"

Black Lantern Al Dog uses his rings powers to create the worlds biggest black lantern tar heroin balloon. If he wasn't already twice dead the dosage would surely kill him... however instead of death the black substance empowers him, he batters the robots into little pieces. His drug fueled rage makes him uncontrollable and he soon turns his fists, cloaked in black energy, against the next available target. Blitzkrieg Bat.

The Battlebeast will have none of this. For the good of his team he is going to remove this dead weight.

"Oh you wanna get hooked? I'll show you hooked you useless junkie." the bat, err robot.. errr armored monster thing screamed and used his wings to propel him towards Al Dog. He drives his right hand hook into Al Dog's mouth like a deep sea fisherman. He Hurls Al Dog at the nearest open pit in the bottom of the level. Al Dogs Flailing body slams into Venus Demilo taking him into the pit with him. No amount of flapping their arms and making "Bloo-Bloop" noises can save them from the suction of the pit.

Helpless Godzuky has been sitting down, watching the violence, stunned by the brutality that has already occurred... The creature from the black lagoon decides it's time to take the big lizard off the table and lines up behind him prepared to push him into the same pit that his teammate was just thrown down. Godzuky realizes his only chance to stop the horrible violence is to use his most powerful ability... the power of flight.

Godzuki uses his wings to fly to the top of the level, the creature from the black lagoon misses him completely but slams into zombie Overkill, severing his head and killing him instantly. His body floating to rest on the pile of transformers who are mangled but still struggling to get back in the fight.

Drawn to the blood, the Opee Sea Killers dive at the corpse of Overkill the proceed to scoop up the body and all the robot parts underneath it. weighing them down forcing them to the bottom of the level.

While the Sea Killers digestive systems make short work of the tangled mass of robot parts, Blitzkreig bat goes on the hunt. The Creature from the black lagoon has distracted Godzuky by blowing bubbles in funny shapes. This is all the distraction the battlebeast needs, he flicks on his lightsaber and dives in for the attack. Godzuky tries with childlike persistence to breathe fire on blitzkrieg bat but he can barely produce smoke even when he's completely dry...

The battlebeast dismembers the last of the Syracuse Valley without issue.

Griffins High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers are Victorious!

3 comments:

Josh the Commish said...

Good Work Dope Fiends. You are the only undefeated team in The Matt Oblak Division!!

gryfflin said...

Shaun and I first faced each other season 1 week 1. Shaun was victorious. NOW WERE EVEN C**T!

Lickolas said...

What would this league be without Al Dawg.