Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Season Four: Playoffs Round One: Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve vs. The Abomitrons

"Because I could not stop for Death-He kindly stopped for me- The Carriage held but just Ourselves-And Immortality."
-Emily Dickenson

Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Galactus, Nova w/Green Lantern Ring, Terrax, Firelord, Mace Windu, Fin Fang Foom, Brandon Inge w/Red Lightsaber & Iron Man Suit, Justin Oblak w/Halberd & Mandalorian Armor, Faith Lehane w/Blue Light saber, Lord Voldemort, Black Lantern Sentry, Michael Vick, Asohka Tano, Ajax (Cymek Titan), Hercules, Ares w/Atlas Axe, Apollo, Uranus, Gaia, Oceanus, Tethys, Helios, Themis.

The Abomitrons are Batman (w/ a green lantern ring), Robin (Tim Drake version) on a Ducatti, (Head Coach) Alfred Pennyworth and Robin (Dick Grayson version) in The (Golden Age) Batmobile, Iron Man, Capt. America on his Motorcycle, Starfire, Underdog, Hancock, Cerberus (w/ a red lantern ring), Phineas, Ferb and Perry, Ben Tennyson, Bucky on a 4-Wheeler, Nomad w/ Baby Bucky, Horribull and Creb, The Father, Son, and Daughter of Mortis, Odin, Zombie Neo, Zombie Scooby Dumb, Zombie Tails, Zombie Jimmy Neutron on a Scooter, Black Lantern Sunstorm, Zombie #1, Kyle Houslander (w/ a Devil Lance and a Mithril Vest) and Zachary Houslander (w/ a Demon Rod) in a Mail Jeep., Ax-battler (he has 9 deaths), Tyrius Flare, and Gilleus Thunderhead, Ewok #47 in a Go-Cart, Falco in Spider-Man's Helicopter, Immell #2 (Batteldae (a clone of Batman and Tim Cheveldae)) and Immell #3 (Rob Murray ( a clone of Robin and Bryan Murray)) w/ Sandra O, Capt. Underpants, Ratta the Hutt, and Ewok Child #1 in Padme Amidala's Naboo Yacht, Immell #14 (Tammell (a clone of Timmelll and River Tam)) (w/ a Zapper) and Ewok #51 in The Tiger Heli Helicopter.





It’s a foggy morning for the passenger’s of the Naboo Yacht. The visibility is quite low still and the quiet of the morning air is just a little bit unsettling.

Sandra Oh: “I swear to you my face is fine, why do you keep asking?”

The two Immells keep laughing at this as they take much enjoyment in the naivety of the television actress. As Sandra continues to stare at the two of them with a look of bewilderment on her face, Captain Underpants tells everyone to be quiet.

Sandra: “What is it, do you hear something?”

Captain Underpants: “Yeah, it didn’t sound like any language I’ve ever heard though.”

Rob Murray: “You heard talking?”

Sandra: “Well obviously Rob. Jeez, does your face hurt?”

Rob: “What?”

Sandra: “Because it’s killing me!” Sandra starts laughing hysterically at her own improperly told joke.

Rob: “You told it wrong.”

Battledae: “Yeah, you’re supposed to wait for the other person to say no, if you don’t it doesn’t make any sense.”

Rob: “Yeah you stupid flat, faced, fu….”

Captain Underpants: “Would you all shut up!”

Underpants is now pissed as everybody finally quiet’s down. As they all sit there in silence the voice becomes louder and louder until everybody can hear what it is saying.

Rob: “What is that?”

Sandra: “It sounded like it said filthy half breed’s. What the hell does that mean.”

Out of thin air Lord Voldemort appeared on the ship and said, “It means the existence of these two is an atrocity, luckily for us though, their existence was short lived.” Voldemort then shouts, “Avada Kedavra!” and both Battledae and Rob Murray are sent down to the floor of the boat dead. Then he sends a bolt of energy out of his wand and blows a hole through the now non-existent face of Sandra Oh. Captain Underpants then jumped out of the boat into the water, but quickly found himself placed in a giant ball of water twenty feet above the boat. Voldemort laughed as he watched the child slowly drown to death in his watery prison cell. The dark lord then looked at Ratta the Hutt and the Ewok child and instead of killing them individually, set the boat on fire. He then apparated away and left them to burn to death on the once beautiful Yatcht.

Tammell: “Oh shit, did you just see that Falco?”

Falco: “Yeah I did. He disappeared though. How are we supposed to help them?”

Just then a booming voice from the sky spoke to them as if he had been listening to their very short conversation, “You’re not, you are going to join them.” A Massive wind storm came out of nowhere and both the Tiger Heli Helicopter and Spiderman’s Helicopter were thrown down into the water that had only seconds ago been hundreds of yards below them. Ewok #51 was the only passenger in either vehicle to survive the crash but soon enough drowned to death in the icy waters.

Back on land things were heating up very quickly. Bucky took off on his 4-wheeler and was having a grand old time until he realized the person flying next to him wasn’t Iron Man. The easiest way this was brought to his attention was that instead of just continuing to travel with him, the Iron suited man shot him with a blast from his hand. The shot sent Bucky flying off of the 4-wheeler, breaking both his legs and leaving him with a wound in his chest that was not going to heal anytime soon. As he painfully looked up from the ground he saw another large suited man. The man just looked down at him and without saying a word shot him directly between the eyes.

Inge flew over to Justin and gave him a high five. “We still got it Golden Boy!"

Justin: “Oh Brandy, check this one out." He points to go-carting Ewok off in the distance. “I got point on this one dude." They both high five a couple more times and Justin takes off flying after the teddy bear. It only takes him moments to reach his target and instead of killing him outright he just blast’s the back wheels of the go-cart which sends it flying in the air and crashing into the ground. Justin goes over to make sure the Ewok is all right and pulls him from the wreckage.

Justin: “Hey buddy, you alright?”

The Ewok looks puzzled at the armor suited man who he knows just blew up his ride.

Justin: “Because if you are alright, you won’t be for long.” Seconds later Inge crashes down on top of the Ewok and kills him on contact. Both of them are laughing hysterically and high five each other like crazy. This naturally leads to fist bumping, yelling and eventually some very homoerotic man hugging.

Justin: “We kick so much ass dude!”

Inge: In an almost announcer type of voice, “Nobody kick’s more ass then the two of us!”

This goes on for several more minutes until Inge sees another vehicle in the distance.

Inge: “My turn Goldy!”

Justin: “No way dude, both of us!”

Inge: “Yeah Baby!!!”

They both take off and head over to what looks to be an old car from the 60’s.

Inge: “What kind of car is that?”

Justin: “It looks to be an old car from the sixties.”

Inge: “Huh, no shit!”

Inge then sends a massive energy blast into the back end of the old car from the 60’s, which pretty much destroys the classic automobile in quite the spectacular crash. Inge and Justin then walk over to the Robin and Alfred and watched them as they pulled themselves from the wicked crash.

Inge: “Sorry we ruined your ride dudes!”

Justin: “Yeah, sweet 60’s classic you guys!”

Alfred: “We were riding in the Bat Mobile you imbeciles.”

Inge: “Oh yeah, from Batman!”

Justin: “Oh sweet, I love Batman!”

Batman: “Then you’re gonna love me. You know, cause I am him. I am Batman.”

Justin: “Uh huh, that’s cool!”

Inge: “Not that cool dude!”

Inge blast Batman in the chest but the blast is easily absorbed with the use of the green lantern ring.

Inge: “Oh man, that sucked.”

Batman: “Not as much as this is gonna suck.” Batman then uses his rings energy to put Inge’s head in an airless bubble, taking away the third baseman’s most valuable asset, his voice.

Justin: “Oh no you didn’t Batman!”

Justin goes in for an attack on the caped crusader but it is futile as Batman just knock’s him down to the ground, breaking his jet pack. Justin realizes and starts taking shots at Batman, but nothing makes it through the green energy of his ring. Batman lets him take a couple more shots before he kicks the gun out of his hand and steps on his chest. He rips the helmet from Justin’s armor and pick’s him up by the neck.

Batman: “Say goodbye to your friend Golden Boy.”

Justin: “I thought you didn’t kill people Bruce!”

Batman: “Yeah, you just tried to kill Alfred and Robin. Plus, that wouldn’t have gotten me very far in this place.”

Justin is looking at his suffocating soul mate when his neck is snapped for the final time. Brandon Inge though not breathing is still beyond angry when he sees this happen and takes one last shot at the green capped Bat. The blast catches Batman off guard and actually hits him in the side, which does leave a mark. Batman quickly retaliates with a blast of his own, sending him flying. As Inge finally lands Batman releases the bubble from Inge’s head.

Batman: “I can’t have you panicking on me now, it’s just not as much fun.”

Batman then picks him up by the neck and ends Inge’s career the same way he did with his best bud. As Batman walks away from Inge’s lifeless body he grabs a hold of his side and winces in pain. Alfred notices this and begins to worry that his adopted son may be hurt.

Alfred: “How bad is it?”

Batman: “It’s fine Alfred, stop worrying. I’m gonna be fine.”

Alfred: “I will never stop worrying Master Wayne. You shant be around forever you know.”

Batman: “As you keep telling me.”

Robin: “Just let him worry Bruce, he’s never gonna stop at this point.”

Alfred: “You know Master Wayne, as this is your last…”

As Alfred starts talking Batman stops him and immediately takes off.

Alfred: “You really should be more careful.”


In the cold darkness of Space the eerie presence of Galactus loomed very large in the background. Odin had been running recon for his team, which was very light on upper atmospheric members. He knew that he was most likely going to find the planet eater looming above but he wanted to know for sure. His goal now was to keep everyone inside the planet long enough to make this fight as fair as possible.


On the other side of the planet Michael walked by himself down a long stretch of road that looked like something out of the dark ages in Europe. He had thought he was alone but suddenly something caught his attention and he turned around.

Michael: “Is that what I think it is? (Makes a sniffing motion) Oh yeah baby, I smell me some dog.”

Vick makes a mad dash for it and comes upon his dream among dreams as he sees Cerberus feasting on some sort of large animal.

Michael: “Thank you Apollo, this is all I’ve ever wanted.”

Vick then goes over to the three-headed dog but before he is able to do the animal any harm (as if he could have done any in the first place) one of the dogs serpent tails knocked him on his back and the head closest to him began to feast.

Asohka Tano: “Hey Rover, how about you pick on somebody your own size.”

The three-headed blood spewing dog turned around and began to laugh. Then he looked around and noticed two more light saber-wielding members and one truly evil looking dude. As all of them began to attack the dog(s), three of his own force wielding teammates jumped out from behind him and took the fight over for him. Faith began to fight with the Daughter of Mortis as Mace and Asohka took on the Father and Son. BL Sentry went for the dog but as soon he went in, Cerberus blasted him with a bolt of red energy. The blast did send him back, but it didn’t take him long to get up. When the Sentry looked back at the dog he just laughed and flew directly into the midsection of the beast. The three heads of the dog were screaming loudly when all of a sudden they all went silent. At this point the Sentry flew back out with the dog’s heart in his hand. The smile on his face was even bigger this time around an instead of staying around to help his teammates, he flew away and enjoyed his feast alone up in the sky.

The light saber battle was not a long one as Faith quickly fell to the Daughter. Before the Daughter could even help her family though, she was standing there headless, as Mace Windu had decided she no longer needed it. As the father lay on the ground where Mace Windu had knocked him down, he to would quickly join his daughter as Mace sent his light saber deep into his chest cavity. Asohka was not having quite as easy of a time with the Son but once the battle became a two on one, the fight ceased to become one as Mace laid waste to the last of the force family.

BL Sentry was enjoying his time up in the fresh air devouring his prey when he was hit in the back quite fiercely by the blood thirsty Neo. Neo began to feast on the Sentry’s midsection but before he could do any real damage he had a staff made of fire through his head as Firelord put an end to the Zombies second successful career. Firelord then yelled at his teammate to both head on towards Mace and Asohka as they could see several members of the Abomitrons heading towards them.

Both the Zombies of Tails and Scooby Dumb, along with the three Golden Axe heroes were charging toward the two force wielders of the Kennelz. Mace was able to easily take care of Scooby Dumb but the three Axian fighters were turning out to be to a challenge. Tyruis flare knew they had the upper hand in the fight and to make the odds overwhelming, she sent down a dragon firestorm of magic upon the Jedi Council member. Mace managed to block the majority of the magic but was weakened by it greatly. This was enough to give Ax-Battler the time he needed to drive his sword through the back of the purple light saber toting Jedi. As Asohka saw this she became enraged and immediately dropped her fight with Zombie Tails and force ran over to Ax and sliced him up an down, sending him to his final death.

The still enraged padawan made it known to the girl and dwarf that she was not to be messed with.

Asohka: “Do not F#$% with me!!! Do you know who I am!?!”

Well okay, so that’s actually what she said. I was just trying to keep it PG.

Asohka: “Well then F#$% you too watcher!!!”

This was met with little fanfare from her opponents and it wasn’t long before Zombie Tails was knawing on Asohka’s neck and Tyrius and Gilleus had sent ample amounts of magic down upon the now dead Jedi Padawan. The three members were quite proud of their accomplishments at this battle.

Gilleus: “Victory is ours!”

Tyrius: “It is a shame we lost Axey, but you are quite right Giles”

Gilleus: “I feel as if we could not lose today if we tried.”

Tyrius: “I feel that you are quite right, for today we are champions.”

From up above Firelord and BL Sentry look down on their opponents.

Firelord: “If there is anything I hate more then losing teammates, it’s the gloating that naturally comes after it. I say we put an end to this right now.”

BL Sentry: “As long as I get the hearts I don’t care what we do.”

Firelord: “You just ate, how are you still hungry?”

BL Sentry: “Aint no quenchin this thirst.”

Firelord: “Then come and get em.”

The two super powered characters raced down on their opponents and made quick work of them. Firelord threw his staff through the chest of Gilleus sticking him to the ground. He then ran over to Tyrius and literally tore her in half. BL Sentry flew down on Zombie Tails, crushing him in the process, though was very disappointed to find out it was a zombie, therefore not helping him in his search for as many hearts as possible.

BL Sentry: “You gave me the zombie, no heart there that I am interested in.”

Firelord: “Fine, eat these then. You’re a pain in the ass you that.”

The black lantern could care less about insults as he paid no attention to it on his way to feasting on the axian’s bloody muscles.

Up in the air Ajax had been flying around in his air travel suited armor, when he saw a zombified boy flying around in the sky. Ajax took off for the zombie boy when he saw the darkest, most evil robot he had ever laid eyes on. Black Lantern Sunstorm flew over Jimmy’s ship and blasted the Cymek with such a powerful energy blast that it instantly blew him into a million pieces.

BL Sunstorm: “Unworthy you are for the rapture. I will be the one who chooses the worthy.”

Suddenly the sky darkened and swallowed up the zombie youngster and his ship and knocked him out of the sky and down onto the ground.

Uranus: “Don’t try to do a god’s work you abomination of a robot.”

Odin: “That’s right Uranus, you need a god to do god’s work.”

With that Odin uses all the power he can muster via the Odinforce and sends an electrical storm so violently through the sky that he destroys the god instantly. Odin then heads back down toward the rest of his team, who have all managed to congregate in one place.

Odin: “Why are you all here together. We are far stronger in small groups. We are vulnerable when we are all in one place.”

Iron Man: “Bruce told each and everyone of us to meet up here and then took off towards what I can only assume was Galactus.”

Hancock: “Yeah, I agree with Odin, but it’s hard to argue with a green lantern.”

While his team discussed his decision Batman was well on his way towards the giant who was still watching over the planet. Batman noticed both Nova and Terrax standing on the sides of the purple monstrosity.

Batman: “I am not here to fight, just to talk.”

Nova: “That is a wise move my fellow lantern core member.”

Batman: “Let us fight this on the planet, I can deal will you later.”

Terrax: “Are you sure you want this.”

Batman: “No, but as things are going I don’t think I have much of a choice.”

Nova: “So be it then. Have your fight down with the rest of them. Be warned though, we will not stay dormant forever. We may fight with him, but we do not control him.”

Batman: “Fair enough, (Points to Galactus) I will be seeing you soon.”

Batman then flew back down toward the planet to join the rest of his team.

Terrax: “The guys got balls, I’ll say that.”

As Batman flew back down to his team he was not surprised to find a massive battle already taking place. He came down with just enough time to watch Iron Man take care of Fing Fang Foom.

Captain America: “Nice kill Tony.”

Iron Man: “Thanks, just take care of crazy axe guy. I still have not figured out how to kill him.”

Ares had just killed Baby Bucky and was well on his way to killing Nomad when Starfire flew in and blasted him to the ground. The hit hurt Ares but didn’t knock him out by any means. He quickly stood back up and launched his axe at Starfire, which sent her flying back quite a ways.

Iron Man: “You see what I mean.”

Captain America: “Hold on, I have an idea. Just start flying and as soon as I launch my shield, you’ll know what to do.”

Iron Man: “No problem Cap.”

Iron Man takes off and as Ares is walking over to grab his atlas, Captain America threw his shield and knocked Ares down to the ground. Before he was able to get up though, Iron Man blasted him with everything he had. The blast was brutal but was still not enough to kill him; Captain Americas shield down on his throat was another story as the Captain finally put an end to the wrath that usually is Ares.

Captain America: “Nice work my friend.”

Iron Man: “No prob Steve, OH SHIT!”

All of a sudden the sky lit up and hell literally ran down from the heavens.

Apollo: “Sorry Tony, but you really shouldn’t have done that.”

Iron Man: “Shit.”

The combined powers of Apollo and Gaia create a scenario that could only be described as hell on earth. An electrical storm instantly burns Nomad and Baby Bucky alive. An earthquake knocked everyone on the ground on their ass and swallowed Phineas, Ferb and Perry. Batman had protected Alfred, and both Robin’s in an energy bubble which protected them for the time being, but the same could not said Horribul and Kreb, who were crushed to death by a boulder who only seconds ago was just minding its own business.

Hancock: “Well F#$% this shit!”

Hancock then ran over to the boulder and threw it about a mile into the air.

Captain America: “What exactly is that supposed to do?”

Hancock: “Did it need to have a purpose?”

Captain America: “I guess not.”

All of sudden the once dry area they were in, became but a wall of water.

Iron Man: “This is gonna suck isn’t it?”

Odin: “Not if I have anything to do with it.”

Hancock: “Where the hell have you been?”

Odin: “Protecting you guys. Notice how you are all still alive? A thank you isn’t necessary alright.”

Odin then uses whatever power he had to send the water back into the oceans. This act wipes him out but saves the remaining members of his team.

Themis: “Wait, this is not how this was supposed to go.”

Iron Man: “Huh, that’s weird because all this seems going pretty much according to my plan.” He says this at this same time as he blast’s him down to the ground and Captain America pummels him to death.

Iron Man: “Shit dude, this is starting to become a trend.”

Lord Voldemort: “Not a trend I would get used to if I were you.”

Lord Voldemort then sends the killing curse at Iron Man which completely fries his suit but doesn’t kill him. Captain America sent his shield toward the dark lord but he quickly apparated away from the shield, reappearing only moments later on top of Tony Starks now dead body as Voldemort blew a hole through his chest, killing him.

BL Sunstorm: “How dare you kill him you unworthy creature.”

Voldemort: “I’m the unworthy creature here? You are a fool you disgraceful machine. I am the one who will do the judging around here.”

BL Sunstorm: “We will see who is the more worthy soon enough.”

Both BL Sunstorm and Voldemort send blasts at each other in quite the impressive display of talents on both ends. Honestly, I think Voldemort would have won if it wasn’t for Starfire’s blast to the back of Voldemort which fried his back enough for him to drop his wand.

BL Sunstorm: “Who’s the more worthy now Lord?”

As he says this, Starfire sends a killing blast to the backside of the powerful wizard.


Nova and Terrax are now staring at each other as the match continues on below from where they have been watching.

Nova: “This has gone on for far to long hasn’t it?”

Terrax: “Yeah, I don’t see this lasting much longer.”


Back on the planet, Hercules attempted to destroy the bubble that Batman has created to protect the Robin’s and Alfred to no avail. After a minute he turned his attention to Zombie #1, for which he easily destroyed. This didn’t sit well with Batman as he quickly turned his sites on the super awesome man-god and blasted him apart with one blast of green energy.

Underdog: “Nice going Batman.”

BL Sentry: “Shut the f#@^ up!”

For some reason this pissed him off and completely annihilated the super powered dog.

BL Sentry: “Time for you to die as well Hancock.”

Hancock: “Not today you dead mother f@#$er!”

BL Sentry: “I don’t see a ring on your hand, so good luck killing me.”

Hancock then flew down to the ground and smashed a huge piece off of a rock off of a boulder and grabbed the sharp edge of the boulder and cut the Sentry’s hand off in which the ring was placed.

Hancock: “Huh, that’s weird? Because I don’t see one on your hand either.”

As soon as the black ring left the Sentry’s hand he exploded and filled the overlying sky with a black tar like substance.

Hancock: “Mother F#$*er!!! Now that felt good.”

Starfire: “HANCOCK, MOVE!!!”

Unfortunately for Hancock his teammates warning came to late as Firelords' staff caught him in the back, which weakened him just long enough for Firelord to then snap his spine in two. Firelord then tore the staff from out of his dead opponent and headed directly for Odin. He knew that if he could kill the Norse God, this match would be over very shortly. Odin quickly noticed this but was fully aware that he was far to drained to take on the herald by himself. Firelord instantly starting to send a fire beam of energy at the Norse God, but he was still able to block it. The closer he got though, the less Odin was able to withstand. Sunfire tried to help her teammate but before she was able to do anything, Firelord had thrown his staff in her direction. She was able to avoid the staff but not before Odin succumbed to the damage that the Nova Corps member had thrown at him. As Odin’s body completely went up in flames, his ability to keep the rest of the God’s at bay finally diminished. Firelord then took off towards the sky to let his team take care of the rest.

The sky once again darkened and it seemed as if all of the world’s water was happening upon the landmass in which the remaining opponents were occupying.

Kyle and Zach who had been laying low with Ben Tennyson got the feeling that the end was coming, so they readied themselves for it. Zach told Kyle to get inside the Jeep he was driving and was forever grateful that he put the top on the Jeep before he left today.

Ben Tennyson: “Trust me guys, for what we have coming, that’s truly not going to do it.”

Kyle: “Well, it’s all we’ve got right now.”

Zach: “What do you expect from us anyway? We’re children fighting against gods. The last time I checked the kids didn’t have the upper hand in that department.”

Ben Tennyson: “Well leave that part up to me.”

Kyle: “Oh, then why didn’t you just say that in the first place? I’m sitting over here in this metal death trap worrying when you have everything figured out.”

Zach: “Yeah Ben, stop wasting time with us and go do whatever it is you need to do.”

Ben just looks at them with an expression of annoyance on his face and begins to find a form that will help him survive the firestorm/million year flood that is nearly on top of them.

Apollo spoke to his fellow god’s with the arrogance that you could imagine coming from a god, but in essence all he was really saying was “On the count of three, rain hell on their asses."

Batman knew this end of day’s scenario was upon them so he enveloped his entire team in another protective layer of green energy. As he did this he noticed that the skies lightened. At this point nobody really understood what was going to happen, when out of nowhere Gaia appeared from under their feet, knocking everybody to the ground.

Gaia: “Apollo wants to compliment Bruce on his clever move. You easily found a way to save your friends from our collective rain of fire, so in turn, he would like to face you all in person.”

As she finishes this up water rises from underneath the ground and Batman dissolves the protective shield from out from his team. Everything is happening so fast now that he is unable to protect everyone from what is to come. The water continued to rise up everywhere when Tethys appeared on the scene in the shape of a giant water made great white shark. She instantly attacks Dick Grayson who is far to human to with stand her attack. Alfred is pushed out of the way by Tim Drake, who attempts to fight the god by himself. Knowing full well that this fight is a losing battle, Sunfire flies directly at the water shark and blows it apart. Seconds later Tethys reforms herself into a massive octopus and grab’s Sunfire in her giant tentacles and pulls her back down into the water. Sunfire continually fought for her survival but after about five minutes finally lost the battle and sunk to the bottom of the ocean.

Ben Tennyson has finally found a form that suits him and goes in for the kill against the red hot Helios, who has been sparing with BL Sunstorm. Ben Tennyson’s form is from a fire world as well, therefore giving him the advantage of being able to fight with the god. He dashes towards the sun god but not before he is able to finally take down the zombified transformer. Tennyson gets the first hit on Helios but is surprised to find out that it does not affect him in even the slightest way. With one hit to the chest of omnitrix wearing human, he completely destroys his alien form and then wastes no time, burning the teenager alive.

Captain America was fairing no better against Apollo, who had deemed Rogers the most worthy opponent for him to face. In my opinion I think he chose Rogers because he knew he could beat him, but in dealing with God logic all day, I guess I’ll just take his word for it. Apollo took several shied hits to the chest, but they did very little damage. After another minute or so though, Apollo decided to stop messing around and knocked Captain America on his backside. He then grabbed the shield from Rogers exhausted arms and slammed it into his chest, knocking the wind out of the super-soldier.

Apollo: “Out of respect, I will not kill you with your own shield.”

A very winded Steve Rogers quickly spat out words of defiance at the god, “Screw you Apollo, the only thing you respect is yourself!”

Apollo: “If you say so.”

With that, Apollo crushed his foot down on the Captains’ head, killing him for good. Batman now realized that is team was doomed, but it wasn’t until Helios’s final attack, that Batman let out the true vigilante from within. As Alfred was helping the two youngsters to safety, Helios set the Jeep on fire and tossed it to the side just to get to the elderly head coach of the Abomintrons. Helios then slowly walked over to the life long butler and grabbed him by the neck.

Helios: “Always wanted to kill a head coach.”

Alfred: “Master Wayne, save the boys.”

Helios: “Even in your final hour all you care about is your team. Pathetic human.”

Alfred: “Master Wayne, please take…” but before he was able to get out his final words Helios crushed his throat and threw his body to the ground, setting the body on fire after the fact. This was the final straw for the man who had turned the bat into a legend. Batman walked over to Helios and with not a moments thought, extinguished his flame and broke his body in two. Apollo noticed this and knew they were in for the fight of their lives. Batman then sent a ball of water towards Kyle and Zach’s jeep, putting the fire out. He then went immediately for Apollo and flew into him so quickly that even Apollo could not stop the now crazed caped madman.

Apollo raised his head up from the ground and all he saw was an enraged Batman screaming at him.

Batman: “Get up you piece of shit! F#*%ing get up!!!”

As Apollo attempted to get up, Batman rushed him again and said, “Not quick enough!” He then picked up the god and broke his back over his knee. He then jammed his ring in the god’s mouth, charged it up and shot enough energy out of it to destroy Gotham Tower. The blast left nothing left of Apollo and as Batman turned around to face the remaining god’s, he actually made them tremble. Batman then rushed each and every one of them and one by one, did what nobody has ever been able to do. As Gaia, Oceanus and Tethy’s all lied dead on the playoff planet, Batman began to scream at the top of his lungs.

Batman: “IS THAT ALL YOU GOT GALACTUS? COME AND FIGHT ME YOURSELF YOU APOTHETIC PIECE OF SHIT. YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST SEND YOUR MINIONS TO KILL MY TEAM. (PAUSES) YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST KILL ALFRED WITHOUT DYING YOURSELF. IF I’M GOING OUT, I’M GONNA GO OUT BIG! NOW GET YOUR PURPLE ASS DOWN HERE AND SHOW ME YOUR MORE THEN JUST THE WORLD’S BIGGEST PUSSY!!!”

Galactus: “Gladly”

The last thing Batman, Tim Drake, Kyle and Zach saw were what looked like a massive black hole swallowing up the sky. Batman told then he was sorry he couldn’t do more, but that it was an honor to be teammates with them.

Tim Drake: “It was an honor for me as well Bruce. Shit way to go out though.”

Batman: “Like I said Tim, I’m going out big and I think you can figure out what that means.”

Tim: “Anything I can do?”

Batman: “Protect the boys a little bit longer.”

Tim: “Good luck Bruce, I’ll see you on the other side.”

Batman: (To himself) “Alfred, this one’s for you.”

As Galactus proceeded to devour the planet, Bruce Wayne became nothing but a source of the greenest energy that has ever been produced. The power began to envelop the planet and once he was done, the world eater was taking in nothing but a green energy source. Once the planet was gone the three heralds just looked at each other and nodded, assuming the match was over. Then mere seconds after the planet had disappeared, Galactus began to struggle and shake uncontrollably until he became so unstable that his heralds all fled the area and took protection behind another planet. All they saw was a blinding light. When they finally ducked out from beyond the cover, nothing was left but a greenish glow surrounding the area that once occupied the playoff planet.

Nova: “Our master fought valiantly, his death was worthy to the cause.”

Terrax: “I do have to say that I did not see that one coming.”

Nova: “Then you were not paying attention very carefully were you?”

Firelord: (Exhausted) "In what are you referring to?”

Nova: “As powerful as any of us are, there is nothing stronger then the connection that these mere humans have for each other.”

Terrax: “Are you telling me that he killed Galactus because of what Helios did to the elderly man?”

Nova: “All I’m saying is that his love for that old man, coupled with the power of that ring; (Slightly Pauses) I’m surprised he didn’t take all of us out.”

Firelord: “It’s a lucky move that’s all.”

Nova:Your arrogance blinds you. Just do me a favor the both of you, try to respect that power during these playoffs. Because from here on out, we're going to need it.”




EPILOGUE

“As head coach you get used to just about everything in this league. The injuries and the single deaths are just a part of the program. You could almost say you get used to death and destruction of it all, especially with the knowledge that you will still be seeing them again in the future. Final death though, well that’s another beast I’m afraid. It’s the thing in the back of your mind that creeps in once in while but you never quite fully let it in. It’s the one thing that you know is inevitable but you tell yourself in comfort that it is never going to happen or that…(Pauses) or that you’ll be the one to go first. I’ve spent years preparing for this day and yet now that it is upon me, I realize that nothing was ever going to make me ready to accept it.”

Alfred Pennyworth: “So now that it has been done, (pauses with tears running down his face as he attempts to regain his composure) there’s nothing left to do, but for me to say my farewell.”

Dark Beast looks perplexed at the sight of his head coach silently crying over in front of the room that used to be home to a former member of his team.

Dark Beast: “Hey Yaddle, what’s going on with coach over there?”

Yaddle looks at the heartbroken Alfred Pennyworth and says, “I believe he is saying goodbye.”

As Dark Beast realizes this he sees his head coach carefully placing Bruce Wayne’s mask on a chair in the entrance of the room. He stands there for a second and stares at the empty room and quietly says, “I will see again someday my son." He then slowly walks away from the room into the darkness of that which once was the Abomitrons.



Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Victorious!

7 comments:

Lickolas said...

The Abomitrons: All Dead

Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve: Nova, Terrax and Firelord survive.

Ryan said...

Wow. Best ending ever.

I was actually getting choked up at the end when Alfred died and Batman unleashed Hell.

Well worth the extra wait Nick. Great stuff.

Valiant run Kyle, and awesome win Matt. Good luck against your wife in the Semi-Finals.

Josh the Commish said...

Awesome work Nick. So well written.

Solobeck said...

Match sucks a$$ as far as I am concerned. If I wanted a story that long I would've opened up the Bible.
-Pablo

Krisatu said...

Just when I was proud of myself for being able to hammer out four consolation matches, you post this. Awesome match, Nick.

Thanks for making me look bad though, dick.

Ryan said...

Hahaha. Dude, the Consolation Matches were great too.

But let's be honest, comparing Consolation Matches to a Playoff Match written by Nickatu is like comparing getting a strike in Bumper Bowling to getting a 300 game at the PBA Championship.

Again, tearing through four Consolation Matches was pretty awesome.

Krisatu said...

So, my 300 game at bumper bowling isn't all the spectacular?

The hits juts keep right on coming'. :***(