Monday, June 6, 2011

TEAM Vs. Logical Genocide

TEAM is Solaris the Tyrant Sun, The Presence, Black Lantern Dave Bowman (The Starchild), Black Lantern Agent Smith, Black Lantern Pete Sosa, Voltron, Thor, Thunderstrike, Justice Legion Alpha Superman, Superboy, Ultraman, God Emperor Leto II, Seraph, Zombie Jet Li, The Evil Paul Atreides Ghola, The Bashar Miles Teg Ghola, Dirge, and Samus.

Logical Genocide is The Champion of The Universe, Ion, Nekron, Az-Rel and Nadira, Titan Maximum, Cuddles the Cybertronian Guardian (#9), Bane (w/ Hellfire Gun), Goro (w/ a yellow lantern ring), Predator #48 (w/ The Flesh Rotting Disease Gun), Mera (w/ a red lantern ring), Prometheus (w/ The Premonition Gun), Red Lantern #2, Adam Strange, Shatterstar (w/ a Mithril Vest), Iron Patriot, Hawk, Snoogans the Xenomorph (#52), Starman, Black Lantern Brainiac, Manhunter #1 (Alpha), Manhunter #2 (Beta), Cody Jones, (Cannon Fodder) Smurf #10 (w/ a blue lantern ring), and Chris Seney (w/ The Golem Creator Gun) in Superman's Truck.


Nekron already has control of Black Lantern Brainiac, but he instantly and easily takes control of Black Dave Bowman, Black Lantern Agent Smith, and Black Lantern Pete Sosa as well. Nekron then leads his new team of Black Lanterns against Solaris The Tyrant Sun. Meanwhile Chris Seney has pulled out his piece of Magno-Kryptonite and rolled down the window of Superman’s Truck. All the Kryptonians start getting sucked toward the kryptonite and of course become weakening as they move closer and closer to the magnetic source. Justice Legion Alpha Superman is the closest to the Magno-Kryptonite, and is the first sucked in. While Superman is dying from Kryptonite exposure, Nekron and his black lanterns are busy destroying Solaris with relative ease. After Superman is killed by Chris Seney himself and Ultraman, Superboy, Az-Rel, and Nadira all begin to gravitate unwantingly toward the Magno-kryptonite, The Presence decides to step in. The Presence decides not to undue what has already been done but he does send both Seney’s kryptonite and golem creator gun away from this plane of existence (it is unsure if the golem gun was sent away on purpose or if it just went with the kryptonite). The Presence then does away with all the Black Lanterns and Nekron. The Presence reflects on what the black lanterns have done throughout all of their existence and decides that he should indeed die for their sins in order to save their souls. The Presence at the last second decides to take Bane and his Hellfire Gun with him on his journey to the next world as well. While these strange events were taking place, much more “normal” battles were happening elsewhere. Voltron and Titan Maximum were locked in an intense battle in space. Also in space, Superboy and Ultraman were battling The Champion of the Universe and Ion (with the blue lantern smurf). In the arctic area, Thor and Thunderstrike were fighting with Az-Rel and Nadira; while in the desert The God Emperor Leto II was battling with Goro and Predator #48. Seraph is duking it out with Prometheus on a billboard scaffold, while the Evil Paul is fighting Shatterstar on a nearby skyscraper roof. Dirge is flying circles around his former TEAMmate Cuddles The Cybertronian Guardian, but is unable to do any significant damage. Samus is squaring off against Adam Strange on a nearby asteroid, while Miles Teg is being double-teamed by The Iron Patriot and Hawk. Zombie Jet Li viciousely consumed Cody Jones, and then got in to an impressive fight with Snoogans the Xenomorph. I guess you could say Zombie Jet Li won, but once he started biting the Xenomorph’s neck the acid made it pretty messy even by zombie standards, which led to nobody walking away. This leaves a few extra players on The Logical Genocide side, which is why The two Manhunters flew up to try and lend Titan Maximum a hand against Voltron, Chris Seney in Superman’s Truck flew over to help Cuddles The Guardian against the much smaller but faster Dirge, Starman decided to help out Az-Rel and Nadira, and Mera and her fellow Red Lantern, Red Lantern #2 buried themselves deep in the water region, in hopes that a weakened TEAM would never be able to attack them and win a death match in a water area. With a few swings of his massive sword, Voltron was able to take out his imitation Titan Maximum. The Manhunters, managed to delay the inevitable a little longer than expected, but in the end Voltron was to powerful for the mighty Manhunters to handle as well. Voltron is able to take out all three of its competitors without any major damage. Predator #48 blasts Leto with several shots from his flesh-rotting gun, but what the hardened scaly skin of the massive man/worm does not repel, the healing qualities of The God Emperor Fix. The God Emperor quickly turns the Predator in to the hunted as he consumes him whole, the half man half dragon known as Goro is unable to instill any fear in the half man half Shai Halud known as Leto who already knows the outcome of anything worth fearing. The God Emperor uses the Bene Gesserit litany against fear which his grandmother taught him to overcome Goro yellow lantern powers and then uses his massive size to overcome his physical strength. With Ultraman’s brief exposure to kryptonite, he has gained the power of teleportation, which he uses while battling Ion. Ultraman zaps Cannon Fodder Smurf with his heat vision, but not before the Smurf has powered Ion up to over 200%. Ion then uses this power to completely wipe out Ultraman. Superboy, despite his smaller stature is able to overcome The Champion of The Universe by repeatedly pounding on his muscular chest with his fists. The Champion of The Universe takes an amazing amount of abuse, but eventually he succumbs to the power of the Kryptonian. Az-Rel and Nadira may be powerful combatants, but Thor and Thunderstrike have fought Kryptonians before, and they have defeated ones with much more power and skill than these two. Even with the advent of Starman helping out, Thor and Thunderstrike use their hammers to crush the skulls of The Kryptonian Bonnie and Clyde and then turn their attention to a quick ending double-team of Starman. Dirge is able to win the dogfight with Seney in Superman’s Truck, who is slightly off emotionally after the death of his buddy See-Eff Smurf, but Seney is quickly avenged as Cuddles the Cybertronian Guardian Swats Dirge out of the air and shatters his spark. Prometheus’ Premonition gun seems to have little effect on the Oracle’s own Seraph, and neither does his combat training, as Seraph is able to kick Prometheus down to the grated surface below the scaffold and put two hollow points in his forehead. Evil Paul does well against Shatterstar’s attack, but whether or not he has what it takes to be The Kwisatz Haderach will not be discovered today, as Shatterstar is able to remove The Harkonen trained Paul’s head with a smooth sword swipe. Despite being double-teamed, Bashar Miles Teg is simply way to fast for Hawk and The Iron Patriot to handle. The Bashar easily uses his mechanical skills from his past life to dismantle Norman Osborne’s suit and then vibrates a fist through the head of Hawk. Adam Strange’s gun manages to inflict quite a bit of damage to Samus’ suit, but Samus is able to win the fight once she hits Adam with a massive blast of wave ray. Mera decides that hiding out isn’t her style and formulates a plan. She and her Red Lantern assistant use their rings to gather up as much water as possible and then fly into the desert region. The God Emperor bursts out of the sand to defend his territory, but once he does, the two red lanterns douse the worm with water poisoning The God Emperor to death. Samus and Voltron rush over to help Superboy who is about to square off against Ion, while Seraph meets up with Shatterstar on the street in-between their two previous fights. Thor and Thunderstrike both rendezvous with Miles Teg in the desert to attempt to avenge The God Emperor. Superboy seems pretty happy with his imminent triple team of Ion, but Ion gains some help as well, when The Cybertronian Guardian approaches. Ion hits Samus with a blast of pure green energy that finishes her and her damaged suit off, but Voltron makes pretty short work of the smaller Cybertronian Guardian. Superboy’s job becomes a little easier, knowing that Voltron is there to have his back, but in the end the young version of Kal El is able to defeat Ion all on his own by blasting through the green aura of Ion and delivering a fierce uppercut to the chest. Thunderstrike and Miles Teg combine forces to overpower Mera, while Thor use Mojinir to bash in the chest of Red Lantern #2. Seraph and Shatterstar are locked in the pitched battle to end all pitched battles. They are completely evenly matched in every way. Shatterstar knows that he is fighting not only for his own existence but for his team’s last ditch effort to stay in the play-offs. Shatterstar makes a daring attack to attempt to land his sword through the back of the neck of Seraph, but Seraph manages to get out of the way in just the nick of time. Seraph pulls out his pistol and puts it in Shatterstar’s side, just underneath his Mithril Vest. Then Seraph, who respects courage and honor in his opponents above all, regrettably pulls the trigger.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!!

4 comments:

Solobeck said...

This match is total bullsh@t! LG should've won! But of course, TEAM I guess should win by default just because its owner is lucky enough to find someone as sweet as he did to marry him!
-Pablo

Krisatu said...

Damn. I really thought I had a chance.

Congrats Ed, that was a hell of a fight.


I still beat you once.

Lickolas said...

Nice work Joshatu!

Damn that was a close one. I honestly thought you were going to win that one Seeney.

You are such a kiss ass Pablo.

Now onto the Fantasy Fantasy League tradition of Ryan and Ed's playoff match. Will it be the Red Sox or the Yankees this year?

Solobeck said...

Pablo kisses no one's a$$! But Lickolas-why don't you lick my-feather covered-feces encrusted, taint! B@$ch!
-Pablo