Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Spoiler Sport: Week 6!

Hello everyone, Cotton McKnight here. Welcome to Spoiler Sport. Here on The Ocho! Week Six's deserts of Arakeen turned up the heat on the losers in this week of interleague play, while other teams were refreshed for the late season run by their wins!

We start with Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions' Fremen riding Saturn Sandworms into Rabblerouser country! The combined Fremen/Krayt Dragon/Sandworm war left only Neo-Cymek #20, Hammer Bro #20, and Sandworm #6 alive for REAL MAN, despite The Decisions' Navy SEAL Chief #14's last second rally attempt!

David Koresh's Golden Army attacked for The Grindhouse, but The Nut-Busters' Doomsday lead to their ultimate fate. The Nut-Busters serve up a fiery case of deja vu for the false prophet! The Nut-Busters are trying to claw their way into the post-season, while The Grindhouse continues it's
downward trend.

One on one combat was the order of the day in The Midgets versus Kitties match. Stilgar gave Kingdom Come Wonder Woman a primer on local customs on his way to The Midgets' victory!

TEAM bests B-3, but we are unable to show more of that match, as the footage is owned by News Network for Fantasy Gaming. We apologise for this inconvenience.

Team Sleeping Pussy and Barack and Miley's Touring Battalion of Commandos found themselves in an unlikely scavenger hunt. A last second race occured between Navy #30 and Rachel Ray, which ended with the sailor riding Xenomorph/mule #50 in for the checkered flag in The Spice Run 500!

The Highness' Apocalypse attempted to steal the spotlight from the commons on their week, but was thwarted by a a protesting Jade Saraya and The Empire's own Silver Surfer! Can The Empire use this win to get to the play-offs?

George Washington's Slaves' Darth Shemalya continues to enrich her reputation by striking down The Tentacle Warriors' Bama Jordan, and recruiting Zor-Ek, AKA Kryptonian Army Soldier #1, into her fold! The Slaves seem to be turning it around with this match, as The Warriors keep slipping in the standings.

Finally, we have The Horsemen of Apokolips taking on Brock Sampsons Fighting Murderflies, which featured plenty of action! Whether you wanted Al-Qaeda facing off against Asgardians, or Graboid #1 fighting Amazons, this match had it all! A random Murderflies' Rancor #2 killing The Horsemen's ace in the hole Sheeana Brugh was the turning point for the match. Army Ranger #1 manages to kill Zombie Godzilla to keep hope alive, but Sandworm #2 ultimately stands alone for The Murderflies, giving The Horsemen their first loss for this season.

To change things up, we've decided to send Pepper Brooks on location to give us the Resurrection points update, as well as a preview of Week 7. He appears to be atop some ruins. Pepper, what do you see out there?

Muh muhmuh muh muhmuh muhmuh muh! MUHMUHMUH!!! MUUUUUU!!!!!

Pepper?!? PEPPER!!! KID, COME IN!!! Sadly, it appears that we have lost contact with Pepper Brooks. It... seems the high winds by the ruins of Troy have... blown Pepper off the structure. At this point we can only hope for the best... Good luck, Pepper...

........

In Week 7, The FFL brings it's particular form of destruction to the city of Troy. The winners can ride The Trojan Horse to triumph, and the losing teams will continue the fall. Stay tuned to The Ocho for the Sepak takraw finals, LIVE from Malaysia. For The Ocho, I'm Cotton McKnight. Thank you, and goodnight.

 




3 comments:

MVP Council said...

1. Rancor #2. 2.Army Ranger #1. 3.Kryptonian Army Soldier # 1 (Zor-Ek)

Josh the Commish said...

Wah wah.... Poor Pepper.

David Parks said...

Oh, Cotton. You know you could have received express prior written consent of the NNFG if you had only payed the $200 processing fee for your application. On the bright side, though, that's $200 more toward Pepper's euthanasia.