The Sigmaz Vs. TEAM

 The Sigmaz are Edrik and Suerat in The Dream Voyager, Vorian Atreides in a Sith Fighter, Samus in a flying saucer, Goku, Mega Man and Rush, Master Chief in a Naboo Starfighter, The Terminator (3), The Dino-bots:  Grimlock, Slag, Sludge, Snarl, & Swoop, Six Shot, Sunstorm, The Unambomber in an Iron Man Suit, Odin, Kratos, Atreus, & Fenrir, Tokka & Razhar, The Shredder, Wakandan #1-6, Domestic Terrorist #1-6, Goblin #1-6, and The Super Tenga Toppa Gurren Lagann commanded by Malcom X (in a Vibranium Suit, w/ a green lightsaber) & Barack Obama.

TEAM is Unicron, Primus, Ego, Thunderstrike, Soundwave w/ Rumble, Frenzy, ravage, Laerbeak, Buzzsaw, Ratbat, Overkill, Slugfest, Squawktalk, Beastbox, Wingthing, Garboid, Glit, Howlback, & Enemy, The Constructicons:  Hook, Bonecrusher, Mixmaster, Long Haul, Scrapper, & Scavenger, The Combaticons:  Onslaught, Brawl, Blast-Off, Swindle, & Vortex, The Stunticons:  Motor Master, Drag Strip, Dead End, Breakdown, & Wild Rider, Reece & Darrin and John Wisz w/ Kyle's Homeboy Frank's Dad in an Enterprise Shuttle.  

    Malcom X stands proudly at the bridge of The Super Tenga Toppa Gurren Lagann as The Sigmaz patiently await his promised oration to the troops.  They stand at attention as Malcom approaches the microphone.  A microphone that is barely required as one could hear a pin drop as they silently clamor for instruction from their fearless leader.  Not a solitary hair is without standing up on the arms and necks of The Sigmaz as Malcom begins:  

  "My fellow Sigmaz, the time has come for us to take on a battle the likes of which many of you have never dreamed.  We face an enemy whose reputation for success is matched only by their historic brutality and sheer evil.  We shall be tested this day, in the unending night sky of the final frontier known as space.  The powers that be in this corrupt, morally bankrupt, and rigged matrix of control have hailed the arrogantly titled TEAM as the single greatest space force that has ever been created.  They say that they cannot possibly be defeated.  They would have you believe that today's match pairing was done at random, that before the rosters were created this schedule was already predetermined and that this was not orchestrated as a deliberate conspiracy to destroy our honorable and most holy goal of liberation.  But we as Sigmaz know better.  We see through the lies of the League and know that they wish to destroy us.  They underestimate our strength, they underestimate our resolve, and they underestimate our willingness to do what must be done.  We launch today in the single most powerful ship to ever be introduced into The FFL.  The Super Tenga Toppa Gurren Lagann will vaporize anything this league, this universe and this so called tEAM has to offer.  You....  You ALL.  YOU Sigmaz.......  You shall be witnesses.  Our plan is without flaw.  Our strategy without blemish.  And our will without weakness.  Today we retake what should have always been ours.  We strike out, not simply against tEAM; but against a system that would have us be slaves.  None of us chose this fight; but it is upon us and we shall seize this day as recompense for the slights against us.  Remember my troops, my friends, my Sigmaz.....  That.....  WE DID NOT LAND UPON THE FANTASY FANTASY LEAGUE.  THE FANTASY FANTASY LEAGUE, LANDED ON US".  

The vast halls of the Sigmaz headquarters erupt with cheers and applause as Malcom X drops the microphone and the crew prepares for take off.  As Malcom finishes putting on his vibranium suit, he turns to his left and sees a beautifully maincured Nubian hand reaching out to him holding his solid tungsten lightsaber, marked with a large white X.  His protege Barack as he hands Malcom his lightsaber says:  "We shall be Kings once more, My Liege".  

The entire Sigmaz Squad, the ships included begin the skirmish inside The STTGL; but as they approach TEAM Territory, The Dream Voyager, Sith Fighter, Flying Saucer, Naboo Starfighter, Swoop, Sunstorm, and Six Shot in his Jet Form exit the massive STTGL and take flanking positions as they break into attack formation.      

Unicron senses the danger approaching.  "No one defies Unicron" he says aloud; but for a brief second thinks to himself *Or do they*......  The massive Transformer planet even reaches out to his ever dormant brother Primus, telling him it is time for his transformation, so they may fight against this encroaching foe together once more; but the massive metal, Transformer god still waits in his planet form for one to truly be a threat to his existence.   

Malcom's plan is a direct one.  He knows that The STTGL is unmatched in its space power; but that even it, cannot be in two places at once.  Which is why only he and Barack are privy to the last stage of their plan.  As The STTGL moves against some of the Galaxy Dominators of TEAM, He and Barack themselves will make a calculated strike at the spark of Unicron and take him out themselves.  A truly daring and dangerous mission that the activist turned team leader simply cannot entrust to anyone but himself.  To begin, the plan could not possibly have been executed better.  The massive living planet known as Ego, has moved into the same Solar System as Primus in an attempt to awake the sleeping giant that can surely bring about the demise of even The STTGL itself.  If and only if Primus decides to come out of his state of dormancy and actually transform from the planet form he has retained for several million years into either his mythical spaceship or monstrous robot forms.  While The STTGL moves into position, several other skirmishes break out around the larger battle at hand.  The Constructicons merge to form Devastator and naturally begin battling with one of their arch enemies The Dino-bots.  The Dino-bots have an amazing knack of finding a way to hang with any opponent no matter the power scale; but we all have seen the original 80s Transformer movie and know what goes down when they try to take out Devastator (Wait......  Everyone reading this has seen the original cartoon Transformers Movie.......  Right???  If they have not, it is required viewing to be in this league and need to promptly schedule an appointment to view it at Josh's House on its intended VHS form ASAP).  Anyway, the battle may be taking place on an errant asteroid in space, instead of earth but the outcome is the same as Devastator takes out the five Dino-bots complete with dinosaur robot eye-popping action.  With the destruction of the Dino-bots, Malcom orders all available, space-worthy troops to deploy from The STTGL and do as much damage as possible.  He realizes that he puts their lives severely at risk by doing this; but he views this as a necessary sacrifice to the cause.  No single Sigmaz life is worth more than cause, and the cause requires victory.  Victory he plans to achieve today.  Thunderstrike brings the hammer down on Goku with authority; but is then ratioed by his old man Odin with a proverbial god-spanking.  Six Shot and Sunstorm blast out of formation with the other ships; but find that despite their significant Transformer power, that they can't exactly hang with TEAM in that arena.  They witness Soundwave eject all fourteen of his cassettes; but before they can even deal with that they are each crushed by a massive Gestalt.  Six Shot is capable of fighting toe to toe with any Transformer out there; but still wasn't enough to take down all five Stunticons once they merged to form Menasor, the same scenario played out as The Combaticons merged to form Bruticus and took out Sunstorm despite his potent solar blasts.  Darrin, Reece, J-Dub, and Kyle's Homeboy Frank's Dad are partying it up in the Enterprise Shuttle that they barely know how to fly; but luckily they have enough booze on board to get their butthouse on.  Darrin works the guns and is able to take out several errant goblins and domestic terrorists who are free-floating about, while Reece attempts to work the flight controls.  As Maker's Mark, Bush Light, and fresh ash from cigars and other lightable smoke treats flip about the small hull of the shuttle they come to the adept conclusion that spinning is most certainly NOT flying; but it is a good trick.  Master Chief flies in fast in his Naboo Starfighter in an attempt to take out Soundwave; but before he can reach the O.G. Decepticon G.O.A.T., he and his ship are engaged by Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, and Wingthing.  Master Chief is able to target Wingthing and take him out with two proton torpedos, but cannot repeat the feat and is destroyed by Laserbeak and Buzzsaw.  The gods of old test their skills against the advanced science of Cybertron and find that in this particular setting their power set may be lacking.  Bruticus as if to make an example quickly breaks the neck of the huge Wolf Fenrir, knocking Kratos and Atreus from his back.  But the two powerhouses fight back and are actually able to break apart the Gestalt into its five smaller parts, killing Onslaught and Brawl in the process.  Devastator and Menasor are able to team up on Odin to take him out; and then continue the team up, while they aid the remaining Combaticons against The god of War and his son, who despite engaging a pitched battle with the combiners eventually fall to their might.  Mega Man and Rush are taken out by Rumble, Frenzy, and Enemy in a fight that would make this writer's wildest nerd dreams come true if it were to happen engage in a wicked throw down with Mega Man and Rush.  Trust me when I tell you, that it takes a really long time and that once this epic story is turned into a movie it will be a cinematic masterpiece.  But until then for all intents and purposes just know that Rumble and his two robot/cassette/dude/brothers were able to take out the boy Mega Man and his dog.  Vorian Atreides in his Sith Fighter managed to obliterate Howlback and Garboid; but once Squawktalk and Beastbox merged to form the mini-gestalt Squawkbox, the Butlerian pilot's reign of Decepticon terror came to a close.  The Dream Voyager and its crew were ordered by Malcom himself to get in close to the living planet of Ego, but they were unaware that they, like much of this battle were merely a diversion set in place to achieve Malcom's goal of the absolute destruction of TEAM through unconditional victory.  Edrik and Suerat are both did in as their ship is sucked in by the botanical defenses of the planet.  Samus blasts Slugfest out of the air (or lack there of); but has special orders known only to her by Malcom X himself.  So she circles back in her Flying Saucer in t a secret hatch in the rear of The STTGL.  The Unabomber received a similar order for his ears only and circled back to said rendezvous point after deploying blasts from his Iron Man Suit to blow up both Glit and Buzzsaw.  The third Terminator managed to make his way to do battle with Soundwave himself, while the rest of Soundwave's tape buddies took out the remaining goblins and domestic terrorists along with Wakandan #3-6.  The Terminator was able to put a couple of decent sized dents in Soundwave, but eventually came up short before he was able to do any permanent damage.  

Inside the STTGL, Malcom and Barack lead a small contingent of a command crew to the secret hatch in the back of the massive ship.  Only the black power duo, Shredder, and their two most trusted African bodyguards, Wakandan #1 & 2 exit the emergency shaft with them and enter the small flying saucer piloted by Samus.  They are joined by the Unabomber as well, as his terrorist specialties may yet be required if Malcom's master plan is to come to fruition.  Once on board, Malcom orders Samus to get as far away from The STTGL as possible.  Tokka and Razhar were left on board with the job to "start pressing these big buttons" once things start shaking.  The flying saucer gains distance from The Sigmaz Mother Ship as The STTGL slowly moves in-between the two sentient planets known as Ego and Primus.  Once Ego and Primus begin to engage the ship with automatic defensive counter-measures The STTGL begins rattling, causing the two not so bright mutants Tokka and Razhar to start to freak out and begin slamming on buttons triggering the self destruct of The Super Tenga Toppa Gurren Lagann causing the hugest explosion ever recorded and taking both Primus and Ego out in the process.  

Now.  With Primus and Ego destroyed, only one final leg of the plan need be executed.  Only Malcom X, Barack Obama, The Shredder, Wakandan #1 & 2, The Unabomber, and Samus remain for The Sigmaz.  Piled in together in a solitary Flying Saucer, these brave remaining Sigmaz will attempt to carry out Malcom's plan of travelling to the nearby galaxy, then perfectly performing a strafing run that will lead to a well-aimed strike that will then destroy the spark of Unicron and bring victory to The Sigmaz.  

The enormous Unicron awaits his attackers, already in robot form and prepared for the attempt on his life.  Samus, now with a perfect view of the Planet Transformer navigates the saucer swiftly and she begins to move into position for their attack run.  She takes a deep breath and murmers just loud enough for the inhabitants of the ship to hear:  "They wuz kings"........  

And with that Unicron swung his gargantuan hand in a downward motion and smashed the flying saucer into scrap.

Hold up.....  Wait a second.  You all didn't really think Malcom X in a flying saucer was going to take out Unicron....  Did you??